Amy Lane's Blog: Writer's Lane, page 178

In Full Color!

Of course, you all knew that the last post was a prelude to this one, right?

I Love You, Asshole! is out on May 18th--and I'm really excited. For a moment there, I was sort of embarrassed, really. Oh, geez--another Little Goddess book, and the people who jump into this one cold are going to be really lost and pummel me on goodreads and whooooooooaaaaa is little old misunderstood me...

Goddess I'm a wimp sometimes.

So thank you, all of you who've been with me since Bound (zomg-- five years ago. Seriously-- Five years ago, Bound came out, and Squish was iddy-biddy, and I started just rambling into the 'verse with desperate hopes to make a name for myself as a writer. Who knew?) Anyway, thank you, for reminding me that there are people who are gonna LOVE Marcus and Phillip, and that my Little Goddess verse is well loved. I AM excited about this-- Marcus and Phillip are funny, fierce, and friction-y. (It's a word because I say it is, right?) They are a prime example of why even the best of men need to be smacked upside the head sometimes to improve their emotional stability and mental health--just as a general exercise, like a run around the block or something. These two guys needed to be thrown through a wall--fortunately, Green was there to make sure they landed unharmed.

And other than that, tomorrow is Mother's Day. I'm doing something. No, don't really know what--am told I might want walking shoes and a dress. Am not told what exactly I'll be doing in my ratty tennishoes and a summer dress. Chicken knows, I do not, and I'm SERIOUSLY dying here. Am I the ONLY one in my family who can't keep a secret for shit? Apparently so.

I love them for that. I really do--a surprise, for me? Awesome.

And part of the best bit of the surprise is that it's MY day. I did Mother's day with my bio-mom and grandma today--which means tomorrow, my step-mom will appreciate a card or a drive-by with flowers muchly, and I DON'T have to do a 100 mile round trip on MY day. It really IS my day--I can sleep in, and ignore the work at my desk (increasingly hard to do, I'm telling ya!) and essentially, you know, have a day to celebrate squishing four wriggly red things out my cooter--and then not killing them as they aged. That they turned into outstanding human beings is not my fault--but I'll take credit for it if that's what's being offered.

Happy Mother's day to all of you mothers out there,or even just the maternal at heart. Allow yourself to be celebrated--we do good work:-)

The Little Goddess, Unwrapped

I've gotten this e-mail from several people--and I feel bad. I wish I could just schwack a stickum or a post-it note or something and put it on every copy of every Little Goddess story I've put out so far, because, yeah. I know. It's confusing. Because they're coming from THREE different publishers, I can't even list the different stories on the flyleafs of the novellas coming out. So when someone commented that the characters in "Guarding the Vampire's Ghost" were "too much like the Little Goddess stories" I had no way of telling this reader that this was because they WERE THE SAME PEOPLE. I just wanted to tell a small part of the story from the point of view of someone that Adrian had helped. (Since Adrian made it a point of helping people as a vampire, it was only fitting that he kept it up in the afterlife, right?)

My overall concept for the Green's Hill and Little Goddess stories is that Adrian, Green, Cory, and Bracken are the main players--in Wounded I described their actions like Guenevere, Arthur, and Lancelot. Their actions impact the kingdom, their mental and emotional health is the kingdom's health, EVERYONE has a vested interest in seeing them happy.

But that doesn't mean they're the ONLY thing doin' in the kingdom, right? Like I told one reader, think of it like a really big apartment building. Yeah--we're interested in the really popular kids who own the place, but that doesn't mean the shy people in 5B (like, say, Whim) don't have really fascinating stories of their own.

So, since I have the pencils of "I Love You, Asshole" and will VERY SOON have the colored cover (and *EEEEEEEEEE* it's going to be purty) I thought now was a good time to "unwrap" the timeline and the basic sense of main players in each series going down.

Let's start with the basic timeline.

I Love You Asshole starts before Vulnerable and wraps up during Waiting
Litha's Constant Whim starts before Vulnerable and wraps up during Rampant.
Vulnerable
Guarding the Vampire's Ghost starts after Vulnerable and wraps up after Rampant.
Wounded
Bound
Yearning, Waiting, Reaching, Changing, Becoming
Rampant
Being.




Vulnerable, Wounded, Bound, and Rampant are the main Little Goddess books--they tell the story of Cory, Adrian, Green, and Bracken. The first three books are the first full length novels I've ever written--and they are self-published. The typos are annoying--I do have a re-edited version of Vulnerable but it is not yet published. I am working (SLOWLY) on the fifth Little Goddess book. Since these books in their entirety do not have a publisher, and since they're pretty long for the publishing venues I'm working right now, this one is all me, and it's all indie. I'm getting used to it that way:-)







I Love You, Asshole!, Guarding the Vampire's Ghost, and Litha's Constant Whim are the Dreamspinner Press novellas. "Ghost" deals with Adrian in the afterlife, "Whim" deals with Bracken's little 'brother', and "Asshole" deals with Cory's two second in command vampires (inherited from Adrian), Marcus and Phillip. The ending scene of "Asshole" is also a different take on a scene from Waiting, which leaves us to the Green's Hill Werewolf novellas, my newest endeavor from Torquere Press.





Yearning, Waiting, Reaching, Changing, Becoming, and Being are the Green's Hill Werewolf stories--they follow Jack, Teague, & Katy (who also show up in Rampant) as they are introduced into the hill and Teague becomes important to Lady Cory. The main hero in these stories is Teague--Teague is, in his own, tortured way, similar to Adrian (not TOO similar--but the way the things in his past have damaged him almost beyond repair is VERY haunting) and Green, Cory, and Bracken take it upon themselves to mentor Teague into the leader he could be. They lost Adrian because he came into his self-hood too late--they want to see a trio (like Green, Adrian, and Cory had been) live and thrive. It will heal something in them to know that this is possible.




I tried--and this is ALWAYS difficult, for any author out there who writes on a large scale-- to give enough backstory so that the novellas could stand on their own. The Werewolf stories are dependent on EACH OTHER, but the reason I thought they could sell and do well independently, is because when they were posted on my website, MANY people wrote to tell me that the Werewolf stories were their introduction to Green's Hill--and that they haven't regretted it once.

"I Love You, Asshole" is coming out--and I love it very much a lot. I worry-- Marcus and Phillip were big players in the big novels, and much of their romance happened "behind the scenes"--and reading it independently of The Little Goddess series is a lot like reading "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead" without having read Hamlet--or at least the Cliff's Notes version. Now, fortunately, "Ghost" and "Whim" and even the Green's Hill Werewolf novellas are sort of like the Cliff's Notes version--so I hope that helps. Either way, this world means a lot to me--and I'm grateful for every fan, every reader, every soul who has written me to tell me that they've been moved by it.

Now I just need to move my ass and get a little more done on Quickening, the fifth novel--we all deserve to see what happens next.

As Bill Murray Spaketh...

Mate took this picture last night of Chiquita, our ancient dog (or, as the vet called her, our 'bumpy, lumpy old gal') and Steve, our once-brash, cocky kitten who is now fat and psychotic and SO puzzled when her ginormous cat ass no longer hops as lightly on the bed as it did two months ago. (Newsflash--and it's taken me 43 years to figure this out in regards to my own body, Steve: IT'S BECAUSE YOU ATE ALL THE FUCKING FOOD IN THE HOUSE. Seriously, baby--we haven't forgotten to feed you yet. It's not going away.)

Anyway--have had precious little time to the computer without an irregular one-five minute interruption cycle, and so, no blogpost yesterday. (I'm serious. The thing is, when I sit down to the computer, I have a two minute 'surf' to sort of get myself into the 'this is what I need to do' frame of mind. Every time that 'surf' is interrupted, I have to START IT ALL OVER AGAIN. It's SOOOO frustrating. It's like, PUUULLLLLLEEEEEZZZZEE people, can't I just have ten lousy minutes IN MY OWN FREAKIN' HEAD? And it gets in the way of everything-- writing, blogging, blurbs... (Okay. Writing blurbs is like a fun brain puzzle--but it's also a tremendous attention suck. You're reading, comprehending, summarizing, teasing, commenting on, and word-crafting, all in about a total of 8-10 sentences. Seriously--it's GREAT brain magic--but it's surprisingly time consuming.) I'm excited today-- Squish actually goes to day care for four hours-- I'm like HUZZAH! I can actually STRING TWO THOUGHTS TOGETHER. Seriously-- with that much brain power, we may very well conquer the world right there. I'm sayin'.

(ETA-- and I must be desperate because her DCP called to tell me that there were camel races at her house today-- a meeting with a doula and painters and all sorts of shit, and I was like, "OKay. If you still want her, I'll bring her over." I know that's very non-understanding of me, but I've reached absolute n'th level of trying to get work done when Squish is at her clingy worst. I've actually got deadlines, darnitall!)

Zoomboy came and gave me a hug today, and I realized how improbable his little skinny body is--long, thin arms, big hands, big head, skinny torso and belly, and big flipper like feet. It was like folding a featherless bird into my embrace, and he just seemed so fragile. It was an odd moment--mama's odd little duck, I'm so protective. Of course, immediately after, I realized we were running low on his ADHD meds-- he's got five pills left after today, we don't give him any on the weekend, and it will take eleven days to get his refil. By my calculation, we're going to owe his teacher four days worth of letters of apology, and probably some knitted socks, because next week promises to be a doozy.



(The picture is from Squish's birthday party, but I think the angle gives you an idea of what I was talking about w/Zoomboy:-)

The kids went to a birthday party at 'Funderland' on Saturday--it was bright and windy, and I sneezed and coughed my way through it--just like Zoomboy angsted his way through it, because Squish was the actual one invited to the b-day party, and Zoomboy was crushed that she didn't want to go on the tetchy little rides with him. It was sad--but the people holding the birthday party were NEAT. I'm sorry-- I don't meet many hippies my age--it was very very fun. (Forty year old people saying things like 'rad', 'trippin' and 'hella'--I adored them all and was proud to be among them, if only for the span of a birthday party:-)

And as for the title? Does anybody remember that line from Ghostbusters? "Dogs and cats, living together..."

AS Bill Murray Spaketh, so mote it be:-)

Chicken Drew a Winner!

So, I threw all of the names--the ones from Goodreads and the ones from blogspot--into that green bucket that Chicken is holding and had her draw one out. It turns out that being greedy pays off, because katfish 184 WON,-- and also made me REALLY want to work on some Quickening. I said little bits and pieces--I need a BIGGER BIT because it's just sitting on my desk top, TAUNTING me!

So anyway... katfish, go ahead and e-mail me with your address and some colorway preferences and if you like sock yarn or want some worsted or dk or what have you! I'll be happy to serve, baby-- just let me know what you likes, odds are good, I got me some! (Of course, it's not that simple-- it takes DSP a while to get the actual hard copies into our hands-- in this case, I'm sure Ms. Duffy will get her manuscript long before you get your book! Sorry!)

Anyway--my good news of the week is that the neighbor said she'd be able to watch Squish two days a week. I'm SO relieved--I love Squish, but trying to work when she's here? It's like trying to catch the frickin' wind--and I'm SO behind! And then I feel bad because there's screaming and whining, and well, sometimes daycare is a GOOD thing!

So, I got the cover sketches for I Love You, Asshole! (The Marcus and Phillip story!) and they're SOOOOO beautiful! I wanted to post them, but (and I feel like ass when I do this) I requested some changes--Phillip's hair was too long and they were a little too sweet to each other (re: the title-- they really give each other hell!) but otherwise... oooooooh.... (The list of changes was actually sort of funny. I was typing it out, and Chicken was looking over my shoulder. "No, mom-- don't make her cut his hair!" "But he doesn't look that way in the story!" "But it's soooooo sexy!" "I know--but it's not mentioned that way, even once!" "Who cares! The picture is awesome!" I included the conversation in the list--I wanted Anne to know that her work was REALLY appreciated!)

And other than that? SPN was pretty awesome tonight! I know, I know--the meta story has been weak this season--right up until tonight, where I think it's going to pull together and the reveal is gonna SUCK! (In a good way!!!) Doesn't matter. Still the one show on television that will make me drop whatever I'm doing and go watch. And for the record? Dean doesn't get any less cute. This is season six, and I can watch him for just as long as I could in season one--and that's sayin' somethin'!

So, I must bail early-- Squish has a birthday party to go to, and I've got to say, allergies are kicking this old woman's ass! Got out to the pool today for water aerobics, and ended up (like a couple of compatriots) coughing my way through the session. The pollen was blowing off the trees and the top of the pool was COVERED--so it's like we got chlorinated pollen down our throats, and it was HORRIBLE! Anyway-- every time Squish says, "Come here, Mama, sit down!" it's like a guaranteed 1/2 hour to 1 hour nap. Still not enough!

Congratulations, katfish-- get to me as soon as you can! Whee!

Tornadoes

Wow--it's been quite a day in the south and midwest--I'm rooting for everyone out there, and hoping it all gets better, but what a frightening day!

(btw--Twitter is a trip on a day like today--people from all over the country are in a big, group convo, and when the weather gets weird, you suddenly KNOW SOMEONE who is ducking in their bathroom for a tornado warning. It's like Fear Inc. on the Twitter board--and also sort of like Prayer Inc. too, because EVERYONE is sending out good wishes!)

Now, I know I promised pictures of the kids on Easter--and Mate took some really good ones, swear!--but he put them in one of those slide show formats and it doesn't download individual pictures. I know I sent the slideshow to some of you, but if you didn't get it and you want to see my kids on Easter, gimme a holler off line, and I'll hook you up!

Okay--I have a confession to make. I had salacious thoughts for someone who was not Mate. Now, don't get all upset--it was a complete accident. A package arrived at my doorstep Monday night, a beYOOtiful amazon.com package, with THE best gift inside, and in spite of being warned by the giver (*eeeeee* Mary who rocks!!!) that the package was coming, my first thought when I opened the box and saw the shiatsu foot massager inside was "Oooooh... someone's gonna get lucky tonight!" Mary completely understood, but when Mate saw the foot massager, I think he was wondering what he was going to have to do to top that! I told him he didn't have to. His father sent us a carton of frozen meat that day--since it was obvious I'd married a man who could provide frozen meat, he didn't have to compete with a foot massager for attention. I don't know if he was flattered or not.

And in other news? Well, uhm, Squish has actually been getting on my last frickin' nerve--but she still has shining moments of cuteness. Example?

Her sister was helping her with her dance steps.

"Squish, what's a passe de deux?"

To which Squish answered hopefully, "Spaghetti with meat?"

Chicken and I laughed heartily--and then wished we'd asked her to plan dinner. (Taco Bell was actually what was on the menu. Alas, no spaghetti with meat!)

So that was cute. But the three hours she keeps demanding to sit on our laps? No. Not cute. We don't mind spending time with her--but one of the things she's got to learn is a little bit of independence. I know it saved MY sanity as a kid--and it's a self-defense mechanism that has helped ALL my kids. Unfortunately, she's spoiled rotten-- she doesn't NEED to be by herself because someone will ALWAYS play with her. It's rough being cute and charming and articulate and the youngest of four kids trained to bow down to the baby god, isn't it?

But the good news is that my neighbor is feeling MUCH better and actually came over to my house and asked if I would want to bring Squish over twice a week again. I was overjoyed. Oh boy oh boy oh boy--TIME TO WRITE that I don't have to feel guilty about! yeee! I might actually get housework done if I'm not fighting Squish for every moment spent in front of the keyboard.

And Zoomboy read to me about frogs today. That's not really so exciting, but you have to HEAR him do it. I'm surprised the doc didn't get some OCD diagnostic tests for him, because GEEZ is his explicit attention to enunciative detail frightening. He hammers EVERY WORD of what he's telling you, just like it was a school presentation. He really is an odd duck, but he's MY odd duck, so, of course, I'm assuming he's perfection.

And really, that's about all! My NEXT post I'll be announcing the winner for Locker Room-- a LOT of people have entered--both here and on the goodreads.com feed, and I'm very flattered. I just printed out "I Love You, Asshole" for the nice lady who won the last contest--it should go out this week! (Okay--late, way late, I know--once again, I SO did not expect it to be published!)

And that's about it--or about all I've got while I'm still awake. I must away--early mornings awake!

Ciaou!

(Oh yeah-- the picture? I was fishing around on Bing images, and there were all these totally charming covers for these regency era e-books. I snagged one, because they're awesome, or at least I thought so!)

So Is This Called a Springover?

Seriously--I think I have a spring break hangover. I know, I know--

First I finished up Alpha and submitted it--and I did that with kids in the house!

Then I launched Locker Room--guest blogging, promo chats (or forgetting them until halfway through and then MAKING UP FOR THEM because I felt so bad), contests (still running to Friday), ANNNNGGGGGGGssssssTTTTT!!! (On my part, anyway, for the opening of Locker Room!) And yeah, I did that with kids in the house.

And then, my husband decided to take the kids (and by default, me) OUT of the house in an attempt to spoil them even more-- Six Flags, movie premieres (Disney's Big Cats--What do the Savannah and a 7/11 have in common? Everybody's swinging by to pick up a bag of cheetahs! SERIOUSLY-- no wonder they're endangered. There's not a critter on the planet that doesn't want to eat them, mess with them, or wear them as a hat!) anyone?

And then, of course there was shopping for Easter, prepping for Easter, and the big day itself!

Poor Squish-- usually Squish awakens gently, with a mom-hug, or tickles to the feet, with angel kisses and the singing of birds and a soft, lazy, "Good morning momma!" "Good morning, baby!" and then the sproingy-haired zombie walk down the hall and into the living room.

Not Easter Sunday. Easter Sunday, she was awakened by her brother, who bounced up and down on the bed screaming, "It's Easter, it's Easter, we've got STUFF!" at pretty much the top of his lungs.

Mate played the Easter bunny in this moment--he 'hid' eggs. He 'hid' eggs all over the middle of the floor. At first I was thinking, "This is hiding?" But it had the effect of making the plastic egg hunt sort of like the five minutes of present carnage during Christmas. There was a great deal of excited shouting, Zoomboy did the counting (because Squish still counts one, three, twelve, two--in spite of the fact that she KNOWS better, she still thinks it's cute. *smack*!) and then the eggs were all in their buckets, and, well, the rest of the morning was mom cooking, some napping, some reading (Yeah-- I know-- READING--it was COOL!) and then off to my parents. This year, we only did one family-- and that was something surprising and most excellent. I know I really had fun--no worries about picking someone else up or 'super quick' visits--just hung out at my mom & dad's & ate ribs & potato salad. The kids (and some of the adults) got into a giant plastic egg fight (I shit you not!) and Zoomboy was used abominably by his older cousins to fetch sodas, chips, and generally be a goober for their entertainment--he was overjoyed. Squish entertained people by general cuteness--and by telling terrible, terrible lies (she spins stories like some of you spin yarn--incessantly, without tiring or growing bored in the least). Big T got to speak with his natives (teenaged/young twenties boys) and Chicken? People actually accused her of smiling. And wearing pink--both of which she'll deny although we do have pictures of the pink.

In general, it was awesome.

But that week of doing shit, and then more shit, and then stressing about shit, and all of it with kids in the house?

Well, it made getting the kids out of the house a real bummer today. They were tired, I was tired-- it was a spring break hangover-- a springover! But that's okay, I guess, because this last week was a helluva party, right?

Seriously--I knew things were out of hand when I actually missed my own chat on Saturday--zomg-- how stressed do I have to be to space that? But I got there midway through, people were REALLY understanding (*waves* Thanks guys!) and I got to answer a lot of questions anyway. It was fun! And so far, the Locker Room seems to be pinging folks the right way--a couple of people are squinting at me for the ending (there's a reason it ended that way!) and a couple of folks have let me know that they only cried two or three times for this one (some others apparently went through the requisite tissue box:-) and generally, I can (sort of) relax (maybe) a little until the big blog reviews start coming, and then I can get all nervy and stressed again.

Oh yes--and I read this today. In general, it articulates everything I believe about politics in one rather depressing story about Benjamin Franklin and his sister. Did you know he had a sister? Neither did I--and, alas, that is the point.

So off--I've got more shit to do! (Believe it or not!) But when Squish awakes and requests that she spend some time ensconced upon my lap as her rightful throne, part of that shit to do will include taking a little nappy-poo of recovery-- I guarandamnedtee it!

Mate took some pictures of the kids--I'll try and post some of them tomorrow, because, as usual, my kids were beautiful.

Oh yes-- the contest is still going, simply make a post on this feed or the goodreads.com feed, and squish will draw names Friday night:-)

Post 1001: The Locker Room

Okay-- I admit it--I put off this blog post for a day for a couple of reasons.

The first was that I was legitimately busy--I was writing up this blogpost here for Cup-o-porn for one--and I have to admit, I like how it came out. (BTW--if you follow the link, you will find that the NSFW links are VERY NSFW--just be aware, 'kay?) Do take a look and let me know if you like it--I'm still surprised by how much I enjoy writing non-fiction, and how much fun the prose can be in an informal essay, yes?

The second reason is that The Locker Room comes out officially tomorrow, and since this IS my 1001 post, I thought that giving away an actual PAPERBACK copy (signed of course) would be a good way to celebrate the 1001 post. Okay-- be aware. These things take a while to arrive at my door (usually about two-three weeks) but I WILL send it out to you once I get it. (The poor woman who won the contest for 899 is thinking "Sure!" but that one is coming--it was the manuscript for the Marcus and Phillip story-- I just didn't expect that to be a publishable manuscript--since it is, I want it pretty before she gets it!)

So, a few words about The Locker Room. First of all, NEITHER of those pictures is the official one. I chose the font of the second one and the orientation of the first, and sort of mushed them together. I don't know WHY this appealed to me more--but it did, and that's one of the perks of getting a say in the cover art, I guess. But I LOVE the cover for this one--it was, in fact, a gift from my editor of sorts, when I told her what the story I was writing was about, she sent me the picture. And it was PERFECT--so aMAZINGLY perfect for the story--that it still makes me giddy to look at.

Now I love this story--it was 'dragon ridden'--meaning, it took over me and I FLEW, but part of that was that it had been living in my head for a while. By the time I sat down to write it, it had worked out a lot of the kinks, and the only thing that was left were the things that usually surprise me about a story. (Penny was a surprise, and so was Mandy. The dogs were new, and Leo--he was DEFINITELY not what i was expecting.) Side characters, unexpected things they said, the way their personalities would be different than what I'd planned. One of the things that surprised me was how PHYSICAL my guys were--and how joyful about how physical they were. It made the love scenes a lot of fun to write--and that ALWAYS makes a work go quickly.

This was my NANOWRIMO story-- this was the novel I wrote during the month of November. Now, anyone who participates in this contest will tell you that even if you meet the guidelines, it actually TAKES longer than that. Yes--I wrote 60K in one month. In FACT, I wrote 75K in one month--but the story is 85K, so between drafting, editing for submission, etc., it took about six weeks--but that's still a shockingly short amount of time. (Or it was before I was done with Keeping Promise Rock.) This story was proof to myself that I could write quickly and (I HOPE decently) that by design, not just when I wrote because I HAD to--it was sort of a mastery test, I guess, in leashing the dragon--getting that fucker to give me a ride on command. (How To Train Your Dragon was one of my favorite movies from last year--I guess now I know why!) This story was also written at a time when I NEEDED to accomplish something, when I NEEDED to prove that I was good at something and that I couldn't be kept down, not by anybody (and certainly not by the small minded, hypocritical, , vicious people I was dealing with at the time.)

This story was a way to show that I could kick a little ass--so my boys got to be strong, fun, happy people, and, when they're on the court, they get to kick a little ass. I love them-- and I really hope you all love them too.

So The Locker Room opens at DSP tomorrow (the link is above, and, well, usually it's available in the evening before the official opening day.) It should be at amazon.com and All Romance e-book by Friday or Saturday. I sucked at basketball as a kid--at any sports really, and I'll never be a Xander or a Chris--but writing their story made me feel like an underdog winning a championship, or at least getting to play, and I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did.

About the contest-- it's for a signed copy of the book

* Comment to win
* If you're a knitting friend who doesn't want the book, say so, and I'll go stash diving as an alternate prize
* If you'd rather have an e-book I can do that as an alternative, but this is for the official paperback version
* I pull names out of a hat--literally. I try to post pictures of Squish as she actually pulls the name.
* The contest closes NEXT Friday night, April 29th, at 9 p.m., PST (which is when I get back from Chicken's dance lessons and can do the drawing--after Supernatural, of course.)
* I'll send the book out as soon as it arrives at my door.

And I think that's about all. (And if you want the book AND sock yarn, say so too-- I really do need to clear out some stash.)

Good luck anyone participating--I hope you enjoy the read:-0

(Oh yeah-- almost forgot... Holy Goddess, Merciful God, LET IT NOT SUCK! I'm SERIOUS! I MEAN IT! Thankyaverramuch Cannyagimmehallelujia-Amen!)

Recycled Weirdness

Okay-- first of all, this post is, more or less, the 1000th post if you add the old blog and the new blog together. (Which is how I calculate it, mostly, anyway.) I figure some of the posts are long enough to make up for any posts that have been written and not posted or pulled, and, well, I like 1000--it's a BIG ROUND NUMBER, so next post, when I'm pimping The Locker Room, which is out on Friday, I'll have a contest for a signed copy of it and some sock yarn-- winners choice!

So for today, I don't have much--I slept in for the first time in godsknowhowlong-- and I wasn't expecting it either. But it was raining during water aerobics time, and the kids were all home for break and my body was like, "Hey--you've been working AND watching children at the same time and it's exhausting. Why don't you take it easy for a while?" And, well,, so I spent a whole lot of couch time with Squish and Zoomboy, snoozing during The Suite Life of Zach & Cody and Looney Toones. Not exactly inspiring but there it was. Sort of a reminder that when your avocation becomes your vocation, you have to have downtime, no matter how much you love it, right?

But anyway, I've been having fun on Facebook and Twitter lately--not oodles, just posting the odd thought. I didn't know it but the shit I post on Twitter collects on my LiveJournal account--weird but true. For some reason this makes me feel better about the internet, like less of what I say is disposable, anyway, and that would be groovy, except now I'm wondering at the hubris that breeds in cyberspace that makes us think that all of our words are gold. I can't decide which side I'm on there, but I thought I'd post some of the better weirdness here--sort of in digest form, along with stuff that can't be shoved into 140-350 characters per story!

* Today, I was trying to have the short people *gasp* CLEAN THEIR OWN ROOM! Things went swimmingly until they found a big box and brought it out in the hall. They were playing Jack-in-the-Box with each other (complete with singing the tune and the hand-cranking motions) when they started to call for their sister and I to play with them.

"I'm not in the box but come here and open the box and see what's inside!"

After hearing that, Chicken and I were actually laughing too hard to sing the song and open the box!

* Yesterday Mate had free tickets to an automotive swap meet, and we went because, uhm, the tickets were free. We bought the short people slushees that cost as much as the free tickets, and saw a lot of people who looked like my dad. When Chicken asked us what it was like, I said:

"It was like grandpa's shed exploded and landed on dropcloths in neat little rows, ready to be sold, and every other grizzled motor-head over sixty came out to play too!"


* This bit was via Twitter as the kids were filling plastic eggs with candy. It's something the Easter Bunny usually does at our house, and after this moment, I think we will continue to let the Easter Bunny do it all by himself:

Yes, zoomboy. I'm sure the world will collapse and implode if your sister doesn't get the right number of candies into the plastic egg.

Is the world still here? Well, then, Zoomboy MUST have been OVERFUCKINGREACTING.

* This was a Facebook realization I had about something I am, unfortunately, very close to:

I feel fat, but I've started to embrace the fat. I exercise the fat, I tan the fat, I slather it in shit that smells really good and turns it into orgasmic fat, and I dress like I can still be attractive with the fat. I'm hoping that the fat will act like a cat or a man with all of this gratuitous attention and dump my ass.

* And here's an observation about who runs the frickin' house!

So, the cat's licking her crotch on the DOG'S nice soft cushion, and the dog's outside scratching the door to come in because, OMFG, it's wet OUTSIDE! Seriously-- what a fucking world!

* Here's another moment int he life of Zoomboy, Acronym Wonder, champion of OCD, ADHD/ADD and TCFW! (Too Cute For Words:-)

Zoomboy is so damned cute--this was his take on how to play a game on the back of a cereal box: " The instructions say we can use a button as a game piece. Or a coin. Like a quarter. Or a dime. Or a half-dollar. Or a penny. Or a dime. Or a nickel. Or a quarter. Or any coin. Those can ALL be used as a game piece. Tomorrow."

* And here, a family effort to relieve Squish of her biggest phobia:

Oldest boychild, could you possibly kill the poor skeeter hawk that is making your little sister wet her pants? Sure. It is now an ex-bug.


* Here is a realization I had while writing a VERY tricky love/epiphany scene in A Solid Core of Alpha:

When they were storyboarding The Incredibles, they apparently had long involved arguments about "Didn't we put the @#$$% gravy boat on the other side of the table?" Blocking a sex/emotion scene is a lot the same. Except, uhm, that's not a gravy boat.


* And this is something I thought was hysterical, but I'm probably the only person on the planet who got it:

Dear Oldest Boychild: While I understand your desire to subscribe to agnosticism, I would ask that you stop dumping your hole-y socks in our laundry and keeping the unhole-y ones for yourself!

And that's about it for now! I will be blogging at Cup-o-Porn about virginity on Wednesday, and I'll put up a link to that site as soon as my post comes out! I can't promise it will be clever, insightful, or amusing, but I CAN promise that I now know how to make text boxes in word while trying to make this post look like a high school textbook. Somewhere out there, the technology and vocational karma gods are laughing their asses off--but I'm pretty sure they still have a little ass left!

Heat & Light

It must be spring!

Seriously-- so little going on here, it's starting to feel unfair to mention the stuff that IS going on because it makes us sound like we have a life.

* The kids are officially on break. Shall the bets start to see if I have any hair left by the end of the week?

* Mate has taken the kids to the park twice in two days--both times either letting me take the big kids somewhere or letting me sleep. I think this is A. Because he's a really awesome Mate, and B. Because he knows the little kids are driving me batshit.

* Today, while he had them out, he conceded that Squish's unstoppable chatter almost caused him to wreck the car. I told him I was glad it wasn't just me.

* I told Elizabeth, my editor, that I was working on something dark and twisty. (Alpha is in editing stages-- huzzah!) In response she sent me one of the world's cutest pictures and asked me if I wanted to write something to it. I guess that's both a perk and a drawback of being a total whore for good cover art... just when you think you've got your queue all lined up, here comes some very sexy characters, just snarking their way into your mind. *happy sigh* I adore Elizabeth... have I mentioned that?

* Mate and I (and Crazy Friend Wendy) went to see Hanna tonight. It was... chilling, as it was supposed to be. It was also a modern retelling of the Grimm's Brother's most brutal fairy tales, and Chicken needs to go see it, since she's been totally captivated by those, and is doing a research paper on them atm.

* Big T went to a fundraising car wash for one of his school clubs today. He came back Big Red. *sigh* Eighteen years old is NOT too old to remind about sunblock-- alas, I was not here when he left, or I would have.

* Going to a car show tomorrow. Not sure if that's a really fun place to go or not, but Mate had tickets, and he was really depressed because no one would go with him I think it will actually be fun-- and that I'll be chasing plotbunnies the entire time:-)

* Did anyone see Supernatural on Friday, with the alternative timeline where they had a Ford Mustang instead of a Chevy Impala? There was a scene when they got out of the car and Mate said (rather ecstatically) "Omigod-- did you hear that? It SQUEAKED!" Sure enough, either the sound engineers were really frickin' awesome, or the traditional Ford Squeak was just that prevalent, but you could hear the car squeak on television. It was sort of cool.

* People are starting to ask me if I have my cards so I can do a reading for them. I say yes--usually because it's as close to being Cate Blanchett that I will ever be. (I loved the movie The Gift-- I just don't look that great in a night gown reading cards. trust me.)

* And a surprising number of people have cards of their own. Isn't that cool? Okay. I think it's cool.

* And next week, I will have my 1001st blog post. I'll celebrate by A. mailing out the copy of the last prize I gave away (sweetheart--I still have your address! I'll send it to you electronically as soon as it's out, and print it out and sign it then too!) and B. Giving away stash AND two copies of the locker room-- one electronic and the other paperback, signed.

* And, generally, that's about all I've got. (Except Mate and CFW are back, and, well, they're talking about sagging testicles. I am not lying about this--but I think it means I need to bail! More about the contest next post!)

Recovering from a Dragon Attack

Seriously--

I know it's boring to read about, but I wrote nearly seven thousand words yesterday to finish up my current WIP, A Solid Core of Alpha. It worked--it did, I'm DONE! And I have a few days in between projects to work on Quickening, but the price?

Oi!

I'm getting too old for this shit-- literally. After I finished and did the "Woo Hoo Dance" (I've embedded it right here, ala Supernatural, if anyone wants to see it)


I cooked dinner (pizza w/homemade dough and spaghetti sauce. Next time I'm buying me some tomato puree, some garlic and some oregano and making my own sauce, because that was the only thing wrong with this dish) and did some laundry. Woo-hoo, right? Anyway--I was wiped out--but I was also dragon hung over, and brother, did it make a difference. My brain was so wired I couldn't fall asleep--even though I was exhausted, and I've got a knot between my shoulders that won't quit. Thank God for water aerobics, because at this point, I can feel my ginormous body just congealing into a solid after writing (holy crap! I just added this up!) 12K in two days.

*groan* *pant* I'm thinking I need maybe a break from the machine--what do you think? (This is good, since Mate has a day planned at Six Flags next week. I'm not exactly looking forward to this. I don't ride the rides because it hurts my neck, and really I end up taking the little kids all day. THEY have fun, but, uhm... me? Not so much. It's no worries, though. I like watching them play.)

Anyway, besides that?

Well, a contest for The Locker Room in e-book is opening at Chris' place today--WOOT!!! And a couple of posts in the future, I'll be running a contest for a paperback copy of the same book--signed of course, as well as a stashdive for some yarn:-)

And in other news...

Or, sort of the same news in a connected sort of way...

Now see, The Locker Room (and I think I forgot this page even though I wrote it) was meant for my husband. He has been a LOYAL fan of the Sacramento Kings for about 25 years now--from the moment they first put a toe in Sacramento. One of his crowning achievements of adulthood was being able to afford to go to the games--and then taking his kids to the games. And going with his buddies (because neither of us are social butterflies IRL, so the fact that he had buddies who loved the team meant a lot to him.) When I was writing the book in November, the Kings were losing so bad, they had to look up to see NBA hell. I kept joking that I couldn't do anything for him in real life, so I'd write him a winning team. (And then we both agreed that there would probably be openly gay players in the NBA long before the Kings took a championship game, sadly enough.) But it didn't matter--Mate bought as many tickets as he could afford. So he got to see the loss two nights ago, and watch the victory--the bitter, bitter victory--last night, in what was probably their last game in his hometown.

This morning he watched the highlight reel and tried not to get choked up--especially when they played this song



on the montage, because Tesla is OUR band-- we saw them when they opened for Night Ranger, they used to come into the restaurant where we worked, and, basically, like the Kings, were a reason to be proud of our little cow-town, when, quite frankly, besides the outstanding cultural diversity, there's not much else going for it.

So, I'm REALLY excited about The Locker Room--for me, it's sort of a love song to Mate, who really does showcase the best qualities a sports fan has to offer: He's loyal, he's informed, he identifies with the players, he would rather have good role models than superstars, and he shares this thing he loves a whole damned lot with his children, who have all learned to love it too. I'm just really sad that Mate has to be betrayed at the end by what has amounted to a twenty-something year relationship with a mistress who, very often, took more than she gave. I mean hell--the least she could have done was stay, right?

And on that note, I'm ditching out on the computer to go knit. Because my back hurts like a sonuvabitch and my brain is running out my ears, and I've earned it. *sigh* I'm going to miss watching him go nuts over a basketball team though--it was really frickin' adorable, it really was.