Amy Lane's Blog: Writer's Lane, page 155

Cover Squee, and More Whining

Okay-- I've been editing, so I admit, I don't have much to chat about.  Or, I do, but a lot of it is behind the scenes.

And it's weird, how much your behind the scenes stuff can just mertilize your regular day, you know?

Some of my former professional legal bullshit has resurfaced, and I thought I was okay with it.  I was better than okay--I was self-actualized and righteously pissed off!  It was awesome, I was the heroine in the book of me, and I was going to kick some ass!  

And I honestly believed that was how it was going to be, right?  I was going to be that awesome.

And then the stupidest thing happened.  I had a bad weigh in at Weight Watchers.  I won't go into details, but I'd been SO. GOOD.  Better than good.  I'd been a MODEL points tracking, activity pointing, Weight Watcher's machine, and by golly, I was going to walk in there and make the scale my BITCH!

And I walked in there and... well, my gym scale said I lost three pounds.  The scale that mattered says I lost bupkiss.

I cried through the entire meeting, surprised, because it had been a while since I'd been that helpless about anything.

And then I cried through my entire day.  

No wonder I write about men.  My entire emotional process is one long masculine path of utter denial.

Heroine in my own novel, my STILL-fat white ass!

I was devastated-- this bullshit had started again and I was committed to see it through to the bitter end.

Except I've moved beyond it, you know?

Well, apparently the wheels of justice to not acknowledge my emotional need for closure.  *sigh*  Fuck them.  I might have to be out of town when they roll by, so go me!

So, between that, my shitty kitchen table (I did commit to cleaning it--I also committed to getting more sleep--which I shall attempt to do shortly!) the freakishly cold weather, and a little dog who thinks it's hysterical to eat the kitty roca and then come yawn in my face, I'd say the cover squeeeee! was a very necessary joy.

Colby and Terrell look very hot and very hawt, and maybe if I look at the cover enough, some of that photographic sun will seep through my bones.

Oh-- and I have to add this, because it's a classic example of me vs. CMoS.  You all see that little hyphen on the cover, between "Bolt" and "Hole"?  Well, that originally wasn't on there.  In fact, Paul Richmond had already jazzed up the Dan Skinner picture with some blond hair for Colby and some photo manipulation for a few other details (like a sailboat that had no place in the plot, as well as the titles which we damned near nit-picked to death, and we had a product we REALLY liked.

And then the product came back from editing, and it was pointed out that "bolt-hole" had to have a hyphen in it.  It was the CMoS LAW!

I had no idea I was breaking the law of CMoS-- I hope they don't hold my past sins against me, or I'm in a helluva lot of trouble!

And when all is said and done?  I posted it on FB, and half the responders assumed the title was "Butt-hole" anyway.

OI!  Funny only because I SWEARTADOG, that title has no dirty implications whatsoever!  (Bolt-Hole, not Butt-Hole, because the second one really IS dirty.)

Annnnddd I'm rambling.  Time to tak my little dog and my cover squee, and my stupid insecurities, and go to bed.  Night everybody!

Cold Snap

Me:  C'mon puppy, let's go pee-pee!  Time to go pee-pee in the potty!

Dog: It's 23 degrees out here, you sadistic bitch!  Besides--you know I already whizzed in your laundry!

***

Mate:  Did you go do aqua aerobics today.

Me:  Yes.  I've been assured my metal is in the mail.  (Still hasn't been sent.  The nerve!  It was forty degrees out there yesterday!)

***

Zoomboy:  It's really cold.  I think I'll wear two sweaters!  If it was only a little cold, I would only wear one, but it's really cold, so I'll wear two.  If we were on the Ice PLanet Hoth, I'd have to wear taun-taun guts, but we're not, so I'll wear another sweater.

(Zoomboy has become obsessed with Star Wars lately-- his rather hilarious story for school is titled "Robot Apocalypse" and features a communications robot named CP who helps people run their lawn mowers after the crash.)

***

Me, on phone to book vendor:  Oooh... it's a bit cold!

Book Vendor:  Don't talk to me about cold--I live in Petaluma, it was 15 degrees out there.  Isn't it in the 50's where you are?

Me:  It's in the twenties!

Book Vendor (as if suddenly realizing I am a customer and he probably shouldn't play one-upsies with me):  Wow-- I'm surprised.  It usually doesn't get that cold in the valley.

Me:  Yeah-- well, people keep giving us cold weather clothes.  Time to use them!


***

Me:  You know, since basically I"m throwing a jacket on over my pajamas when I take the dog for a walk, I don't really have a bra on.  Basically, I really am freezing my tits off.

Mate:  Don't do that.  I like them.

***

Big T:  I was going to go out and catch a bus and go look for a job.  But you had to leave.  I thought I'd stay home for the dog.

Dog:  Sure.  That's why you didn't leave the house.

***

Me to dog:  NO, Johnnie, don't eat the Kitty Roca-- IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS!!!

***

Cat to me:  If the dog was truly significant, you would allow him to make sweet love to you in the bathroom.  Now scratch my places, slavebeast, scratch them!

Me to cat:  Behind the tail or behind the tail, my liege?  My wish is but to serve.

***

Me to Mary:  Florida, right?  We're going to Florida in a month?  It's going to be warm, right?  WAAAARRRRRRRRMMM....

Mary:  Uh-huh, because 68* is warm.  Sure it is.

***

Me to dog:  Yeah, sure, come camp out on my chest.  Just don't stop radiating heeeeeeeaaaattttttt.

***

I understand the weather's going to warm up a little.  I, for one, can hardly wait!

Ag-AIN?

Sorry--

Time is totally leaping by me in bounds like a startled deer.

I think part of it was that I was getting sick yesterday.  I skipped my workout (because nothing says "get sicker" like going swimming when it's 35 degrees outside) and slept.  For two hours.

The cat kept giving me full body tackle hugs while I slept to make sure I was still alive.

*happy sigh*

Twas beyond awesome.

And I went to bed at the normal time--and I feel better!  Isn't that amazing?  Seriously-- the older I get, the more I appreciate sleep (and the less time I have to get some--that's weird.)

And other things in the update?




Well, Big T has very little to do atm-- School's out for another week, and he's hanging out around the house, catching up with his movie viewing.  Little Johnnie the dog?  Has come to think of him as his favorite human-- it's really very cute.  But the dog-- if you see a lot of pictures of this dog sleeping, it's because HE SLEEPS A LOT!  As I posted on Twitter, I had a cat that was dying of something that slept less than this supposedly hyper-breed puppy!

It also gives me a twitch that threatens to burst out-- you know, the one that screams, "GET A JOB!"

But he's so good about other stuff... and he's looking.  Just hard to find right now.  *sigh*

So there's that.

The Kings might move to Seattle-- Mate is depressed, and I'm going to a game with him tonight so that he might not mourn alone.  I don't know what to do about that--we're going to have to find him another sports obsession... uhm, Rivercats games here we come?  I haven't written baseball players yet...

Squish is blowing my mind-- she sounds SO grownup sometimes-- it's hard to remember she's still six!

Upon getting the wrong happy meal toy:  "Mama, I thought they would have the Mochi toys.  I'm a little disappointed.  We already have the Strawberry Shortcake."

Upon watching Hercules: "Mom, the animation of the monster does not quite match the animation of the rest of the movie.  Did they use a different technique?"  (Me:  0.0 uhm, yeah.  Computer animation for the monster, two-D animation for the rest of it.  Dayum, baby.)

And I'm trying to think of a third, but mostly, I get the sound of her evil cackle when she knows she's been cute--which is good, because I guess she's still six after all!

And I've got my plane tickets for Florida-- I'm attending the Old City New Blood  conference in less than a month, and I'm SO excited!  There will be  YARN SHOPPING beforehand, and hanging with my publisher and friend, Elizabeth, and my best Mary, and our bud, Elizabeth Staab, and, in general, lots and lots of joy.

And it might not be 35 degrees.  Saying.

Oh-- and in knitting news?  I'm sort of obsessed with the all purpose, garter stitch gaiter, knit in a large gauge yarn--but, and this is a good point here, so listen-- I think I should have done a different color the second time.  No yarn is so pretty or project so awesome that you want to do the same thing in the same color twice.

Oh yeah... and did I mention the new rug?

The cat would like me to mention the new rug.

In fact, it's her best thing of the YEAR!

Nine or so things!

Seriously-- catching up takes so much time!

Anyway-- I've got a bullet point post of things, and then I'm going to go to bed early.  I HAVE been staying up late, but today I took a two hour nap, realized that working until one a.m. was counter productive when you have to be up at six, and am now attempting to just chill out.  Trust me.  I need it. Here's a list of assorted bitches, whines, and moans for the last five days.  (And some celebrations too, but I'm a little blue, so guess what's got my attention?)

*  First of all, the lovely gif is from Love Romances Cafe-- the voting doesn't start until Thursday (I think--that's the tenth, right?) and I'll be sure to post a link on Twitter/FB when it does, but right now, the honor is TOTALLY in the nomination for Talker, best YA book, and myself, best LGBTQ author. Again, thank you, Dawn and LRC-- it's an honor.

* Secondly, I've been told I've received a Beary Award for Sidecar--very much  an honor!

*  Third, Chris from Stumbling Over Chaos is having a "catch up" contest for Under the Rushes  -- if you haven't bought the book because, hey, we're ALL broke after Christmas, now is the time to get it free!

*  Fourth, I"m currently doing a complete Re-org for City Mouse-- the story needed some extensive internal editing, and can I just say?  I MISS working on Racing for Sonny-- man, that story is SO shiny... right now?  It's my favorite toy!  I have some cover art for that City Mouse though, and once Aleks and I decide on our favorite, I'll put it up!

*  Fifth, I get THIS picture as a cover pic for Bolt Hole, and I'm thrilled!  I'll put it back up when there's some titles and everything, but right now?  I adore it muchly!

*  Sixth, all of my electronics failed me when I needed them most-- in the past two days, in order, the following has happened:

  **My printer broke when I needed it to print out my new work credit card so I could buy plane tickets.  I need to buy the plane tickets--I go to St. Augustine in A MONTH!

** My computer crashed and TWO BACKUPS FAILED ME and I would have lost 10K of Sonny, but I'd been sending installments to Mary, so I just had to patch that all together from my e-mail.

** The Weight Watcher's website is incompatible with my smart phone, and there is NOTHING more frantic than a dieting fat woman who can't enter her points and who needs to eat dinner RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!

** My car is making cricket noises. I'm sure there's a better word for it, but right now, let's let cricket noises stand.  (See?  I told you there'd be whining!)

** There were several contest winners over the break, and we had a helluva time getting their stuff uploaded.  (If one of these people is you, and you've been expecting it and it hasn't happened?  Contact me at my amylane AT greenshill DOT com e-mail!  It WILL be done!)

* Seventh, Johnnie is still cute and still adored, but we are having potty training difficulties.  I put a mat on the indoor places he likes to potty, and then, after he'd had a few accidents, put the mat outside in the potty place.  I just took him to the potty place.  It was cold, so he sat on the mat.  He was grateful.  It wasn't nearly as chilly as that awful grass.

*  Eighth, Steve the cat followed us around the block on our walk tonight, bitching the whole time.  Apparently, without her help, we couldn't make the six rights that constitute walking out of your driveway, making a big circle around the block, and walking back to the house.  She does this a lot-- and she's vocal the entire time.  This time, I saw a neighbor and took Johnnie up to say hi.  When I went up the driveway, Steve hunkered back, one house over, and crouched in the bushes, eyeballing us as if to say, "I shut up for one minute, and you forget how to get home."  As soon as we left, she waited until we passed her hideout and joined us again.  I adore her, but she is the WEIRDEST cat.

*  And ninth?  Well, the kids have started school and band and dance and gymnastics, and they're tired and fractious--but I will leave you with this joke Zoomboy told me:

Mom, why did the elephant paint his seat yellow?
Why?
So he could hide in the custard.
I've never seen an elephant in custard.
See?  It's WORKING!

I totally did not see that one coming, and yes.  I laughed my ass off!

Get the Thing!

So, a scattershot of things this morning, right? *  These are the small dog's basic commands:
For walkies-- "C'mon Johnnie, let's go pottie!"  (If you say it like the song, it rhymes!)
To heel-- "C'mon!"
To play-- "Get the thing!  The thing!  The glorious thing!  Get it!  Get it!  Getitgetitgetitgetit!"
To go to sleep-- "Okay, get up here, Jesus Christ calm down, under the covers, calm down, okay, calm down, yeah, that's it.  Calm.  Calm down.  Stop it.  Stop... stop... that's right.  Calm down.  Right.  Calm down.  Good boy.  Good.  Whew."
*  Went and saw the live stage show of How to Train Your Dragon last night.  T'was AWESOME.  There's something amazing about a live stage show, and this one had acrobatics and puppetry, and, oh yeah, GIGANTIC FRICKIN' DRAGONS on the stage.  And that flew.  And that... seriously.  I mean. Dudes.  It was amazing--and the sequence where Hiccup is trying to fire his thing into the air to capture the Night Fury was a combination of acrobatics and live media that would blow your minds.  So is the scene where the gigantic dragon destroys the fleet.  All in all, just... *sniffle*  I love good storytelling and live theatre.  *happy sigh*  Yeah.   *  The little kids loved it.  They also loved the souvenirs their sister bought them.  Can you tell?
*  Chicken has made clear glycerin soap with little tiny plastic animals in the middle, like sort of the prize for using all the soap.  The results make us giggle, and she agrees they're an awesome gift for her friends.  My idea.  Uh-huh.  We have it here in writing.
*  One of our "fun" Christmas gifts at the family exchange was one of those laser pointer thingies that bobs and weaves, so your pets will chase it.  We thought it was a GREAT idea.  As it turns out?  Our pets are smarter than that.  Yeah, go figure.  We keep setting it up in a dark room and bringing the dog or the cat in, only to get this look that says, "Assholes."  *sigh*  It was still a good idea. 
*  Speaking of pets, we crate the little dog when we leave the house, but the big dog is still free range.  We came back last night to find the big dog lying next to the crate, her head close to the door, so she and little dog could apparently commune.  It was very sweet.  Little dog has become one of her five reasons to live, which is nice.  We weren't ready to put her down yet.
*  Squish learned how to make potholders on a loom.  It is not good enough for her.  She wants to learn to KNIT!  Uhm, anyone have patience reserves? I'll take them in a bucket, a bundle, or a box of cookies!  Send help, quick!
*  Saw this book.  Loved it.  Bought it.  Am going to ship it to Mary today, because her kids will go nuts with it!
*  And this is political, but it covers two political arguments I'm semi-rabid about so I'm gonna post it.  I figure no one who knows me will really be surprised.  
*  Chicken leaves tomorrow. *sniffle*  Small dog will miss her too.  She's become his favorite person, and that's a damned shame!  

Happy New Years, Slug Style

Yeah.  We never really got New Years.

Mate and I have been to a couple of parties, thrown by friends, and when we were young, we worked through the New Year a couple of times.  We've had people over to watch movies, watch the ball drop, and go home, and we've always let the kids stay up.

But really?

Not our thing.

So last night, we were all set up to watch the Thin Man marathon, only it didn't happen this year, so we watched Abbot and Costello movies and that was fun too.  I made ham (apparently I make ham that tastes like candy.  Chicken thinks this is proof of my magic powers.  I think it's proof that I could probably turn broccoli into a heart attack if someone gave me enough brown sugar and butter) and for the kids that was a big deal.  (We never had a ham when they were growing up.  I've come to appreciate the beauty of ham as I've aged.)

We drank sparkling cider, ate potato chips, and counted down from 59 when the ball dropped.  In the meantime, Mate and I, inspired by the Jack Reacher movie which we both liked a lot, read the very first  book by Lee Childs on our respective electronic devices.  (This is interesting to do, because the books sync to the last place the book was read, REGARDLESS of who was reading it.  I caught a lot of crap about reading like the wind last night, but I don't read NEARLY as much as I used to, so I HAVE to read like the wind or I wouldn't read at ALL!)

The little kids stayed up until 12:30 (they were a MESS) and the big kids quibbled about who would watch what on the television.

And then the ball dropped, and we toasted each other with apple juice, and went to bed.

Chicken stopped by our room, where Mate and I were reading, and said, "That was nice.  But next year, I sort of want to party like a college student."

We said that would be fine.

And it will be.

But I got my best Christmas wish-- one more year, probably the last, with all my kids being my kids as the New Year dawns.

I got to read a book.  Booyah!

Happy New Years everyone.  If you've got hangovers, drink water.  If you don't, may you hit the right sales.  If you're not going shopping, enjoy the quiet.  I'm all ready to see what the world's gonna do this year--and as long as there's no more campaign commercials, I think it's going to be fine!

The Long Good Morning

Okay, one of the benefits and drawbacks of a puppy is that you can't really sleep in too long.  The puppy will wake up and need to be walked, because just like I have to stumble to the bathroom, he's got to do the piddle, and that's my job to make sure he's got a chance to do so.

But that's okay-- I was aware that the puppy dog sabotaged my chance at sleeping in from the get go.  The good part is that the kids will take him walking in the middle of the day as well.

We had a lovely Christmas.  We only dealt with one family this year--and Mate's mom had dinner at my parents' house, and that was lovely too.  We played games and cards, and ate (and ate and ate) and generally, I had fun with my family.

On Sunday, we all went to a Kings game (there was winning-- sweartaDOG there was winning!) and sat in really awesome seats.  (Seriously, if we could sit in those seats every time, I might not put up so much of a fight about going.)  Chicken brought her friend, Stevi, and Wendy and her beau came as well, and it was fun.  And, of course, Amy things happened.

See, everybody was wearing their King's gear-- jerseys, T-shirts, foam fingers, right?  Because that's what fans do?  So there we were, running inside the hamburger place (Five Guys-- which I kept messing up-- Three Guys?  Two guys?  Two Hot Gay Guys and their Three Straight Friends?  My squirrel brain can pretty much mess that entire sequence up until it's unrecognizable!) when a nice man on his way out stopped us.

Or, rather, stopped ME, because I was the one who smiled at him.

"Are you guys going to the game?"

"Yeah!  You too?"

"Yeah!  Would you like some free parking passes?"

0,0

And sure enough he produced two passes since we'd brought two cars!

I went back into the hamburger place (Five Guys-- I'm SURE it's Five Guys) and danced about our good fortune, and then settled into conversation w/Wendy.  At one point I said, (and I forget why I said this!) "See?  Karma works!"

She said, "Okay, you always say that, but just once I'd like to SEE it work.  I never SEE it work!"

I said, "FREE PARKING for SMILING at a guy."  She had to concede that yes, she'd seen karma work.


And afterwards, we went and got the dog and drove around, looking at lights.  Does the dog look thrilled?  Because the kids were-- it was a very good day!

And the day after was Christmas Eve, and I screwed up dinner and didn't get any crafting done and... I don't think that's what the kids will remember.  What they'll remember is that Santa was good to them and we gathered around and watched Christmas Story and that Big T read the little kids "T'was the Night Before Christmas" and that we were happy.

And the next day was cards at grandmas.

And in the end, there was this.

Successful holiday achieved:-)

Tis the Season to be Absurd

*  Okay, so I know the ENTIRE WORLD has better things to do, and my own kitchen is dirty and it needs to be clean and I have knitting with a two day deadline and so many other things to worry about just like the ENTIRE REST OF THE WORLD but that doesn't stop me from obsessing over somebody reading my hellsalong, fucking depressing steampunk novel of great import, and telling me it doesn't suck.

Help me.  Please.  Writer's intervention.  Something.  I'm serious.

*  Big T dressed up like a zombie on Friday.  Because seriously, how else are you going to spend the apocalypse!

*  We made soap. It was easy.  Took two hours.  Mate feels like a god.  Eight bars of soap.  Eight washcloths.  An hour a piece.  Now guess who gets to be the goddess?

*  The little dog keeps sleeping with us.  I have the feeling this may put a crimp in one of my favorite activities.

*  I put earrings in.  They hurt.  Too much to take out.  Really?  Yes really.  *headdesk*

*  Mate and I are no longer 35.  What's clueing me in?  The fact that we're falling asleep before our older children and we DON'T HAVE OUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS WRAPPED.

*  "Oh Chicken!  Big T!  Guess what?  Yup!  You're going to see The Guardians at 11:30 this morning and taking the little kids.  Yeah, I know you've seen it before--so what?  Yeah, I know there's a Kings game we're all going to tonight that your dad's been looking forward to for MONTHS.  SO WHAT?  Here, we'll give you money for the arcade too.  Us?  We're not doing anything.  Nope.  Not a thing.  Swear.  Uh-huh.  Don't mind the pile of scissors and tape over here, nothing to see, nuh-nuh-- no, that's just daddy, getting into the closet of doom.  What could possibly be interesting in there?  NOW GET INTO THE CAR, WE'VE ONLY GOT TWO HOURS!"

*  OMG OMG OMG-- Mary sent me the BEST NECKLACE EVER.  Uhm, our shit's not hitting the mail until after Christmas.  There goes my friend card.  *headdesk*

*  The Christmas cards will be mailed tomorrow.  Which still is not the latest they've ever gone out.

*  Squish spent an hour on a secret craft project yesterday.  It's made out of paper towels.  Uh-huh.  Paper towels.  My hopes aren't high for this one turning out well.

*  The dog needs to be walked RIGHT NOW.  He just doesn't know it yet.  He's still sleeping with my husband.

*  And that's all I got time for... I need to walk the dog, clean the kitchen, knit eight washcloths, take the kids to the movies, wrap their presents, go to a Kings game, take the kids looking at lights, cook Christmas Eve dinner, bake bread for my moms on Christmas day, and ham, and something else, and pies, and... oh hell.  I forgot something.  And now I have to remember what I forgot!

Merry Christmas!!!

Under the Rushes, Dex in Blue, and the Alpacalypse

 So, yes, the family posts were nice but I've got some book business to natter on and on about!  Under the Rushes is out tomorrow, and, well, a little nervous.

Yes, yes, I'm always nervous.  But there's a sliding scale of nervous going on here.  Turkey in the Snow was about a four on the richter scale of nervous tension, because it's a small story, and because it was Christmas and you have to balance, delicately, the sweetness and the real to make a good Christmas story and there's no knowing if you did that right until the story comes out.

This is a different kind of nerves.

Turkey in the Snow was around 24,000 words.  I loved that story.  I loved how real Hank felt to me as he was exhausted and worried and just needed this one thing (his workout) to get through the anxiety that comes with being a new parent and how when he was deprived of that he became honest and human--for both better and worse--and how his inner drama queen snuck out to play, and Justin just picked up on that and ran with it.  But no matter how much I loved it, I can't deny that Turkey was a small story.  Three people, parent/parent/child---that was the core of the story, and while our families make up the greatness of the lives of most of us, it is still very small.

Under the Rushes is a bigger story.  A much bigger story.  For one thing, it's 130,000 words--and that's huge, but it's more than just the length.  (Dex in Blue was 120 K--it was a smaller story than this.)  For those of you who read the Bitter Moon stories, this is a hearkening back to that size of story--except leaned down, shaved of the extraneous matter, and of the comfort of the Moon family, and their contribution as well.  Under the Rushes is my favorite theme--the Batman theme--the idea of the hero who wants to change the world, and he had the means to do it on a governmental level, but that's not personal, or immediate, or visceral enough for him, so he goes underground to make the changes stick.  Rushes is set in a steampunk world-- think Victorian era with fantastical machinery and a little bit of unexplained magic thrown in.  There are cravats and coat tails and giant jumping conveyances shaped like crickets and trains that are shaped like millipedes.  There is a friend who is insane and terrifying and brutally masochistic (and sadistic about making our hero join in) and streetwalkers with hearts of gold (and sweet little flower mouths, for the fun stuff!) and in the midst of it all is our hero.  Dorjan.  Who had everything he loved--his achievement, his father, the steadiness of a lifelong friend--stripped away from him in an instant, and, ten years later, is still fighting for justice on the streets of a corrupt city.  I love Dorjan.  He is tortured, determined, and still, after all of that, kind.  His best friend and tormenter, Areau is twisted and cruel, but also brilliant and charismatic and necessary.  His lover, Taern, is young, persistent, and cocky to the point of madness.  The three of them dance around each other, they tumble, they wound, they scathe, and then they minister balm and kindness.  They are fascinating-- at least to me--and Goddess, I hope the world sees the same fascination as I do!

I'm nervous about Rushes because it was hard--hard to write, hard to balance, hard to conceive-- and yet, when it was done, I was so damned proud of it, I wanted the world to know.  And it's always a risk, going from something sweet and small and well-recieved, like Turkey, and into something risky and large and visceral and gut-wrenching, like Rushes.  I know that stories like Turkey feed the soul of many of my readers.  It's such a contradiction, because writing stories like Rushes feeds my soul in the way of no other fiction.  The combination of gritty romance and hardcore steampunk fantasy was a high it took a month to come down from--that dragon was not going to let go, and we all know the bloody thing can be scary-fucking-ruthless when it comes to riding my ass with a story.  So I hope you love this story like I do.  I do.  I'm sure some people will pick it up right after having read Turkey and think, "What in the holy fuck was she smoking?"

But I know hardcore fans-- people who have been around through Chase in Shadow, and before, to Bitter Moon I and II, and even before that, to Vulnerable, will pick this up and think, "Oh!  She has gone back to her roots!  The edgy, scary things that make us squirm!"  I hope those people love this book like I do!  I hope it rips their hearts out, because I know I had to put mine back in with a plunger and a yarn needle when I was done writing.

Oh-- and about Dex in Blue.  Starting on the 22nd, (so, you know, if we survive the Alpacalypse) Dex is going to be FREE for two days at ARe.  Absolutely free.  Free free free free free-- It's part of their 12 Days of Christmas promotion, and, well, did I mention the free?  I'm actually TOTALLY THRILLED about this freeness--It's an honor to be chosen.  The books that make the list get pimped by ARe on all sorts of websites, they appear on the banner for two days (and ARe sells 20% of the country's romance e-books PERIOD) so it's sort of huge that way.  So, well, a lot of people who thought Amy Lane was a typo for that sign they put up in front of the McDonald's drive-thru (that actually reads "Any lane"--I had to look twice to be sure) they may realize that I write too, and THAT'S exciting!  So, if you haven't gotten Dex in Blue yet--totally check it out!  Free!  Free!  Did I mention the Free?

And, for those of you who do have a hunger for the small details of our lives-- Zoomboy's first band concert may or may not be tonight.  (He doesn't really pay attention to these things.  He goes to band.  He practices the flute.  But he doesn't really check the schedule. He's sort of the ultimate existentialist.  The pleasure is in the doing.  There is no ultimate reward.)  So, for those of you who are Zoomboy fans out there (and who wouldn't be?)  Stay tuned.  Or out of tuned.  Cause, uhm, folks?  I've heard him practice, and frankly?  He still can't get a sound out of the thing.  So, well, if there's not free books or ultimate nerves about new releases, there's always going to hear a bunch of 9-12 year olds torture woodwind instruments with the absolute confidence that somewhere in there is a song!  I mean, that's entertainment!

Unlikely Place for Grace

So, uhm, guess who we picked up on Saturday?

I'm thrilled to have her home-- but I fear she's remembering all the reasons the house was crap.  That's okay.  Mate was fixing up her old room (Squish's room now) and changing her sheets and everything so Chicken could come sleep in a freshly made bed.  I said, "Do you want to clean the rest of it?" and he said, "No.  We want her to be welcome home, but eventually, we want her to leave."

And some people have asked how the cats have taken the new family addition.  I thought I'd show you Steve.  Chicken and I have created the following thought bubble for Steve:  I get six square meals a day, I sleep in a warm bed as long as I want, and people routinely stroke me until I purr.  Ask me how many f***s I give about the other carbon based life form in my sphere.

Alrighty then... Thank you, Steve, and your warm and bubbly personality was such a treat.  We can't believe we were worried that the advent of the dog was going to disturb you.  Clearly, you were disturbed already.


 And, uhm, EEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Yup.  Still cute.  He likes to sit on our lap.  All of our laps.  You name a person sleeping in the day (and Chicken's back in training for the olympic napping events--it happened as soon as she hit the door!)  and this dog is asleep curled up under the covers.  My friend said that would be a bad thing.  So far, uhm, no.  He cuddles, we cuddle, we all cuddle together.  Go figure!
And Mate and I went Christmas shopping.  This here is an art supply place, for our girls, and we're heading for a record store for our boys.  It's funny, how important Christmas shopping seems sometimes.  It's not that gifts can't fail, but the talking together about the important people in our lives seems to matter.  It makes me happy, especially with my Mate.

The country is in mourning right now.  I wasn't sure whether or not to mention it, but I know it's hit me hard.  Dropping the kids off in the morning is hard.  Picking them up in the afternoon is a terrible relief.  Christmas shopping today with Mate was reassuring.  We talked about our favorite people and discussed the things they loved and the many things we knew about them.  I could (and I may) at some point get terribly political about this.  I have so many things I want to scream at the universe.  But right now I simply remember that this is what faith is for--whether it's Hindu faith, Muslim faith, Pagan faith, any faith, is so you can believe even if the universe sends its worst, somewhere out there, someone--human, deity, collective race consciousness--can dig deep and find some grace.

I discover my grace in my family, and that gives me faith to hope they will be safe.  May the world find better grace this week.  May our politicians and our protectors find better grace.  May those mourning find grace to give them strength.  May the world find grace to comfort those grieving.  May those of us in fear find the grace to be brave.

Holy Goddess, Merciful God,
Let it be so.  Let there be grace.
Cannyagimmehallelujia? Iknewyoucouldamen.