Amy Lane's Blog: Writer's Lane, page 119

Dear Summer--

Where did you go?

It just occurred to me that I've been waiting for months for you to start!

You were going to start when I got back from RT, but there was that whole flu bug thing that about killed me.  And then there was the kid's getting out of school, followed by their recital rehearsal, mixed in with two trips to San Diego for Chicken.

I mean, you couldn't start then, right?

Then we had to drop Zoomboy off at the airport, and the dash to San Francisco-- we couldn't very well have summer without Zoomboy, could we?

And he's back now! Yay! And we have performances at the state fair, and then mom has to dash away for a week, just a week, not so very long, right?

And I'll be back! And Dad will be back! and we can start then! You, me, the kids, time at the pool, nothing hanging over our heads…

Except soccer season, which starts in August, and school which starts August 14th.

Oh, Summer-- I feel as though you came to visit, and we were all so busy we didn't see!  Your weather has been mild, and you've been ready for us to play, but when? When can we play with you when we're all scattered our separate ways?

I"m sorry, summer. I am well aware we don't get too many of you, especially when the kids are young. I solemnly swear that I'll spend time at the pool with the children when I get home--will it be enough? Will two weeks solid be enough? Will it count? Will it matter that I'm an entire book behind on my schedule, because I've been trying to squeeze you in?

*sigh*

I know one thing, summer.

Next time you come to visit, I want to remember you. I want more outings, and a trip to the beach. I am not pleased with the way you've just flown through our lives.

We need to take the time to appreciate you and that's all there is to it.

I promise, summer. There will be a time when we can make this work.  Cross my heart--I swear.

Amy

He's back.

And we're so happy to have him.

And now, to go watch the 700 pictures he took while he was away-- Europe? Your loss is our gain :-)

The Cats Came Back...

 Squish spent last night at her grandma and grandpa's-- they put her on a horse, taught her how to make banana cream pie, took her shopping, and took her to see a movie.

Today, completely spoiled and very happy, she returned home.

*purrrrrrrrrrrrr*

Today, after taking her big brother to the mall, meeting his friends, hanging out, going to the book store and hugging this giant stuffed animal, chicken returned home.

She was not very happy, but then, she is not that kind of kitty.

I am happy to have her home.

*purrrrrr*

Today, after flanking Chicken on either side of her body as she slept, both cats prowled my home and gave the dogs dirty looks. I sat down to knit for a few moments, and Gordie flopped on the couch and planned my demise.




Bastard didn't even tuck in his tongue.

I was afraid that the dogs had chased the cats away for good, so I have to admit--

I am very happy.

The cats, of course, still want me dead.

I guess that means all is as it should be…

*purrrrrrrrr*

Sorry-- Date Night Got in the Way of the Blog...

Okay-- I'm not really sorry at all.  But Date Night got in the way, and really, all we did was go shopping for Mate's suit to wear to the RITA's. He looks damned sharp, right? And aren't the ties pretty? Had to take a picture of a rainbow of men's wear.
And Zoomboy-- he's looking damned good in England. And I miss him, but I'm also wildly jealous. He's doing ALL THE THINGS. 
*sigh*But still-- I got my Date Night. And we saw a movie. And my Mate looks good in a suit. So there you have it. All you needed to know about my day :-)

Some Observations on Blues Brothers

Squish, Big T, Chicken, Mate and I watched Blues Brothers tonight, and the following things were said:

Squish: Is that Princess Leia with a rifle?
Chicken: Technically it's a Bazooka.
Big T: Isn't a rocket launcher?
Squish: But it IS Princess Leia, right?
Chicken and Big T: Yes-- yes it is. She's not a bad shot.

Mate: This guy singing "Boom boom boom boom" is really important.  Who is he?
Me: Uh…
Mate: Oh-- here it is. John Lee Hooker!
Me: Oh-- that guy really was important.

Me: I don't have my glasses on-- was that Bill Murray?
Mate: No, that's not Bill Murray!
Me: Well, he had Bill Murray's inflection! Who the hell was he?
Mate, after appropriate Google-fu: Hm. Well, he's a stunt man. Who was in a bunch of movies in little bit parts. He testified in court that Robert Blake offered him money to kill his wife, and died when he got T-boned at an intersection by another stuntman. In Rancho Cordova (which is a neighboring suburb to Citrus Heights, sort of.)
Me and the kids: o.o O.O 0.0 *.* Uh, wow. So, uh… now we know.

Squish: Who's that woman?
Me: Aretha Franklin--be respectful, her name is sacred in the house of the blues.
Chicken: And she's about to sing a hymn.

Me: Hey, Squish, there's the Picasso we saw in Chicago!
Squish: Oh yeah! They had that back then?
Me: According to all the guides, yes they did.

Squish: Wait-- what year was this?
Me: 1982.
Squish: Then didn't they know better?
Me: Who?
Squish: The Illinois Nazis? Didn't they know that was bad?
Me: Well, most of the GOP doesn't know today, so I guess not.
Squish: That's sad.
Me: It sure is.

Me: You know, Squish, this whole movie started with a bit that Jake and Elwood--I mean John Belushi and Dan Akroyd-- did on stage.  Wanna see?
Squish: They're really good-- and so entertaining. I think it's great that they got their own movie!
Me: Yes-- I think that was a sound movie investment, myself. Especially since Chicago was having a run on police cars at the time.

Good Morning Moments…

Good Morning Moments:

A.  Michael Bay movies may be like roller coasters, but roller coasters make me want to throw up.

B.  Does everyone want coffee?  Yes, no, yes-- honestly, doesn't matter. What matters? The dogs are going for a ride.

C.  Showers are optional when going for coffee.

D.  Dear political e-mailing demons-- if you fuckers hit me up for money one more time, I'm going to sue you for panhandling.

E.  Dear furry domesticated demons-- stop shitting in Chicken's room or she's going to cook you and eat you. I'm not stopping her--I'm busy.

F.  Good TV tonight. YAY!

G. As Goddess is my witness, I will take a nap today.

E. Big T and I agree that Ted Cruz is really a live action version of Ned Flanders.

F. OMG. I'm leaving for NY in two weeks. TWO WEEKS! *panics*

And on that note, I'm going writing today…s

*Kermit Flail* Monday! June!

Wow!
See, when I first started *Kermit Flail*,  more than a year ago, I did it because a few people had asked me nicely if they could use my blog.  I didn't really have a forum for other people to speak here-- it was mostly me blathering on and on and on… (Check it out-- I've been nattering on since Squish was two months old. That's nine years, peeps. I think I was more interesting nine years ago… don't know why…)
Anyway-- so, I thought I'd get one or two books a month, and some months have been like that, but I assumed I be doing it for people I was tight with because seriously-- who'd come to my blog for book recs?
But you all have surprised me-- and this month is that sort of an awesome surprise.  I've met the lovely Ms. Carole Cummings in person (loved her!) and hung with the supremely awesome Goddess of Baseball, Ms. Kate McMurray during this last RT (adored!) but we also have Deja Black and L.A. Parker and Felice Stevens-- the Felice Stevens who was recently on amazon.com's top 100 Kindle sales PERIOD.  And of course, we have the AMAZING AND TREMENDOUS Rhys Ford, doing urban fantasy which she's wonderful at!  In all, we have some happy, some dramatic, some fantasy, some urban fantasy, some contemporary, and even some Amy Lane Lite!
So, this is getting to be a pretty awesome deal.  I am so proud of this months' line-up!  Please give a hearty HUZZAH for this month's *Kermit Flail*-- everybody here is both eclectic and HELLACIOUSLY BODACIOUSLY AWESOME!
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!!


BLUE ON BLACKby Carole Cummings

Kimolijah Adani—Class 2 gridTech, beloved brother, most promising student the Academy’s ever had the privilege of calling their own, genius mechanical gridstream engineer, brilliantly pioneering inventor... and dead man. But that’s what happens when a whiz kid messes with dynamic crystals and, apparently, comes to the attention of Baron Petra Stanslo. Killed for his revolutionary designs, Kimolijah Adani had been set to change the world with his impossible train that runs on nothing more than gridstream locked in a crystal. Technically it shouldn’t even be possible, but there is no doubt it works.Bas is convinced the notoriously covetous and corrupt Stanslo had something to do with Kimolijah Adani’s tragic and suspicious end. A Directorate Tracker, Bas has finally managed to catch the scent of Kimolijah Adani’s killer, and it leads right into Stanslo’s little desert barony. For almost three years, Bas has tried to find a way into Stanslo’s Bridge, and when he finally makes it, shock is too small a word for what—or, rather, whom—he finds there.
BUY HERE 
The Rainbow League: Book Two
by Kate McMurray
Mason made headlines when, after his professional baseball career was sidelined by an injury, he very publicly came out of the closet. Now he’s scratching the baseball itch playing in the Rainbow League while making his way through New York’s population of beefcakes, even though they all come up short. Plus, he’s still thinking about last summer’s encounter with hot, effeminate, pierced and tattooed Patrick—pretty much the opposite of the sort of man he has long pictured himself with.

Patrick hasn’t been able to forget Mason either, and now that baseball season is back upon them, he’s determined to have him again. Mason is unlike any man Patrick has ever been with before, and not just because he’s an ex-Yankee. All Patrick has to do is convince a reluctant Mason that their one night wasn’t just a crazy fluke and that they could be great together… if only Mason could get past his old hang-ups and his intolerant family.
Buy at Dreamspinner: Buy at Amazon: Buy at B&N: 



Broken Bones
by Deja Black
Dan Tolliver, the adopted son of alpha pack leader Jeremiah Tolliver, has suffered his last moment of abuse by his lover Keith Mulligan and finds himself in the hospital. There he meets dark and sharp-tongued Dr. Aiden Kavanaugh, who believes Dan needs some of his straightforward kind of medicine. Still, there is something different about the doctor.
Aiden is a sandman, a weaver of dreams, and has been on earth far longer than even he knows. He's at the end of his time, ready to transition, and needs a human mate to keep him connected to the world he’s grown to love. Only he hasn’t found a special person who makes him want to stay. He doesn’t despair, because not every sandman has the chance to choose, but he knows if he doesn’t find a partner, he will soon lose his physical form and exist only in dreams.
When Aiden realizes Keith is a far greater monster than Dan has any idea, they grow and work together using the support of the pack—and Dan’s inner strength—to overcome impossible odds.

BUY HERE

Saving Rainbow Falls
by L.A. Parker

The small town of Rainbow Falls is dying. Shops are closing, the major industrial employer is shutting their doors, and the town square is beginning to look as dilapidated and run-down as the townsfolk feel. Sam Monroe, the town’s attorney, puts forward a shocking economic solution – one which has the potential to divide the town right down the middle of Founders Street.Despite a lack of support from the mayor and town council, seeing a glimmer of hope for their future, the remaining business owners take on the challenge, throwing unexpected support behind the idea. But not everyone in Rainbow Falls accepts Sam’s proposal. Can a former popular tourist destination bend to the winds of change? Can reluctant committee chair, Mike Murphy, convince the citizens to take this chance? Can a town really be saved…one kiss at a time? The answer hinges on the success of the newly founded and very colorful Rainbow Falls Pride Committee.
BUY AT AMAZON
BUY AT B & N



One Step Further
by Felice Stevens


Blurb:Alex Stern has it all; good looks, charm, a job he loves and everyone calls him a friend. He lives life to the fullest at a breakneck pace, in the city that never sleeps. But Alex is also a master pretender; not even his best friend sees the pain that Alex hides so well. Alex himself isn’t sure who he is or what he’s searching for, he only knows that he hasn’t found it yet.

As a veterinarian, Rafe Hazelton loves each animal that crosses his path; they don’t care if he stutters a bit or that he prefers men. Their love is unconditional, but his life is still empty; they can only give him so much. New friendships convince him it’s time to break the wall of loneliness he’s hidden behind since childhood and discover what he's been missing.

Alex and Rafe forge a friendship that turns physical, and they both swear that the relationship will last only as long as the fun does. But when old heartaches come to light and secrets hidden for years are revealed, Alex and Rafe discover if they accept what’s in their hearts and take it one step further, the greatest reward is waiting for them in the end.
BUY HERE

Ink and Shadows
by Rhys Ford
Kismet Andreas lives in fear of the shadows.For the young tattoo artist, the shadows hold more than darkness. He is certain of his insanity because the dark holds creatures and crawling things only he can see—monsters who hunt out the weak to eat their minds and souls, leaving behind only empty husks and despair.
And if there’s one thing Kismet fears more than being hunted—it’s the madness left in its wake.
The shadowy Veil is Mal’s home. As Pestilence, he is the youngest—and most inexperienced—of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, immortal manifestations resurrected to serve—and cull—mankind. Invisible to all but the dead and insane, the Four exist between the Veil and the mortal world, bound to their nearly eternal fate. Feared by other immortals, the Horsemen live in near solitude but Mal longs to know more than Death, War and Famine.Mal longs to be… more human. To interact with someone other than lunatics or the deceased.
When Kismet rescues Mal from a shadowy attack, Pestilence is suddenly thrust into a vicious war—where mankind is the prize, and the only one who has faith in Mal is the human the other Horsemen believe is destined to die.
Buy at DSPP 
Buy at Amazon




Bitter Taffy
by Amy Lane
A Candy Man Book
Rico Gonzalves-Macias didn't expect to fall in love during his internship in New York—and he didn’t expect the boss’s son to out them both and get him fired either. When he returns to Sacramento stunned and heartbroken, he finds his cousin, Adam, and Adam's boyfriend, Finn, haven't just been house-sitting—they've made his once sterile apartment into a home.

When Adam gets him a job interview with the adorable, magnetic, practically perfect Derek Huston, Rico feels especially out of his depth. Derek makes it no secret that he wants Rico, but Rico is just starting to figure out that he’s a beginner at the really important stuff and doesn’t want to jump into anything with both feet.

Derek is a both-feet kind of guy. But he’s also made mistakes of his own and doesn’t want to pressure Rico into anything. Together they work to find a compromise between instant attraction and long-lasting love, and while they’re working, Rico gets a primer in why family isn’t always a bad idea. He needs to believe Derek can be his family before Derek’s formidable patience runs out—because even a practically perfect boyfriend is capable of being hurt.
BUY HERE

And for my day off I...

*  Fourth of July was marked by a landmark event. 
I cooked.  I made potato salad and big bowls of strawberries.  All stand in awe of my prowess and dedication to the holiday that Mate and I have mostly thought of as an opportunity to huddle in the air conditioning and watch movies.  *Amy bows*
*  The day after Fourth of July was Amy's and Berry Jello's Friendship Day.  This mostly means we got junk food and watched bad television-- or great television, depending on your taste.  Given that I mostly have TERRIBLE taste in television, but that I'm passionate about my terrible taste in television, I think I shall recap:
       *  Teen Wolf-- once again, this show specialized in dumping characters and resurrecting them with a cavalier regard for plotting or continuity, but, also per usual, they were really good at inserting angelic looking mystery characters with lots of chemistry into the mix.  What this means is that they get away with violating every law of storytelling I hold dear by distracting me with pretty, and while I'm still going, "Ooh… can we have two guys kiss again?" they fuck up any semblance of integrity the show has.  *sigh*  Fucking pretty.  It will bite you in the ass. 

     *  James Patterson's Zoo-- Okay-- they had GIANT CGI LIONS.  And a fuckton of cats in trees. And a handsome, scruffy guy who looks like he might live to the end of the season.  Right now, I'm calling it a win!  Oh yeah-- and Billy Burke and some hot chick with a tattoo.  Win win win win win.

     *  Humans-- This looked like a BBC production that has a startling resemblance to Robert Silverberg's Tower of Glass.  The resemblance is made even more disturbing by showing us vulnerable, sympathetic robots who deserve not to get thrown away or have their memories wiped.  If you've read Tower of Glass, and you get to the end where the synthetic humans are ripping the real ones apart limb from limb, you know it's not particularly reassuring to know these sympathetic creatures (all of whom were apparently designed from young, hot looking models, except the ones who aren't sympathetic at all!) now all have backstories, tragic love lives, and souls.  Still-- it obviously garnered my attention-- I may look into it again!
Oh!  
I've also been slipping some reading into my life.  Now, I usually give everything I've read on GoodReads 5 *, because otherwise, I fall into the abyss of politics and reviews and should writers review other writers and blah blah blah blergh.  My policy is simple-- if I like it enough to recommend, I recommend it.  If I don't, I don't mention it. I don't even mention that I bought it. I am well aware that I am A. Picky, B. ADHD, and C. Moody and fucking Capricious in the extreme. My highly subjective, easily swayed opinion for why a book doesn't capture my methadone squirrel attention for longer than five minutes is of no use to anybody.  The book that lost me at Hello may very well be someone else's guiding light.  
So, if I finished a book, I had to like it (or, often, ADORED IT) and the following titles have kept my attention to the end.
Murder and Mayhem-- by Rhys Ford
Forging the Future-- by Mary Calmes
Collide, Stay, and Pretend-- by Riley Hart
Rebecca-- by Daphne du Maurier 
Think of England-- by K.J. Charles
Good Omens-- Neil Gaimen and Terry Pratchett

So, you know.  My opinion is worth absolutely diddly/squat, but there you go. I just gave it on a variety of things--hopefully, I was at least entertaining!
Amy

Some Things to Remember About Mom...

*  Don't send her out for donuts and expect her to come back with a measly dozen.
Danger: This movie will GUT you.
*  Don't show her a sad movie and expect her not to cry.

*  Don't leave her alone to work and expect there not to be a nap at some point in time.

*  Don't ask her why she quit cleaning the kitchen table when you were born
, because that gets the whole, "Well, writing," and suddenly you have to evaluate how screwed up mom is and whether or not she's raising you right.

*  Don't ask her to read your tarot unless you're prepared to get her an ice water. I don't ask for silver, but I do ask for ice water.

*  Don't ask her to make a side dish unless you expect it for five-hundred people.

*  Don't show her pictures of her offspring who is far away and not expect her to get all verklempt.

*  Don't torture her favorite characters in your story and expect her to not get very upset.  *glares at Mary Calmes*

*  Don't bitch about doing the dishes when she's fed you.

*  Don't ask her to sit down and watch a movie (or two) because she will flush her entire day down the toilet to chill with her family.

It's a Metaphor

Okay-- so it's no secret that I'm going under.

That I've got a stack of deadlines on my computer that leave me tearful at least three times a week.

That I've got kids in the house who need my attention, full time.

That everybody is staying up until one in the morning, and not just me, so getting work done then is not an option.

That my computer periodically decides that it's going to spazz out and that the cursor is just going to be possessed while I try to actually accomplish shit.

That the dogs have so much a run of the house that the cats have just fucking given up.

That my kitchen table is the slough of despond.

That nobody wants to clean the kitchen, least of all me.

That my bathroom is going to be declared a public health hazard, and I've given up.

And that I will drop everything to go with my husband anywhere he asks.

So, with all of this in mind--

Tonight, Mate took me out to eat with his friends, and we had a good time. We got home late, and omg-- there was Steve the Cat, in our driveway, and I was so happy I could have cried.  Steve!  We locked the dogs up so we could get Steve inside and proceeded to spoil the shit out of her.  No dogs, new food, fresh water, lots of pets.  Oh Steve! We're so happy to see you!

So Steve, after making much of the food choices, finally convinced me to get her a new bowl of food.  She eats on the kitchen table, on top of all of the shit that accrues there, in the far corner from my laptop, which is squatting in the disaster.

Finally-- finally-- with The Soup playing in the background, after sitting with Mate and Squish for some television and mom time-- I sat down to my spazzy computer, just as Steve wandered to her new bowl of food.

And then…

Fell off the table.

Seriously-- she turned the wrong way, and her back end slid off, taking a month's worth of mail with her, as well as some Target bags.  Her front legs flailed, like she was trying to climb the mountain of crap as it fell down on her head, and the food went tumbling down, spreading doggy treats everywhere!  (They're not supposed to eat the cat food-- ergo, dog treats.)

Chicken got here just in time to see Steve's mouth, opened in a silent meow, as she went under in the avalanche.

And she fell apart.

She started to laugh, and I fought tears, and she's all, "Why are you crying?"

I was looking at the mess, and she just picked it all up including the cat food (dog treats)  and swept it up.

"There.  Now can you laugh at the cat?"

"Yeah.  It was sort of funny, wasn't it?"

"It was fucking hysterical. God I've missed Steve."

Yeah.

Me too.