Amy Lane's Blog: Writer's Lane, page 113

That's not a moon, it's a space station!

Seriously-- I was NOT expecting the many and the varied quotes I got! The FB thread is truly astounding, but even here on the humble blog there are quite a few. Feel free to keep suggesting-- I've already gone back and started to change my chapter titles using ones that you all suggested. Wow--just… so much awesomeness! Can't even…

*flails*

Yeah.

So thank you!  I wish I had something really astounding for the blog to reward you-- but I think we're going to have to stick with the Fan Fic Friday and hope I can keep it up.  For today, I'm going to yammer as usual.  Okay with everyone? Okay then.

The new aqua aerobics instructor has no actual experience in aqua. This happens sometimes because the bosses don't have quite enough instructors for coverage if the really GREAT instructors who are already there have to be gone for a reason.  This particular very young instructor has a lot of energy, which is fine, but when she tells us to do water sprints, she insists on keeping up with us on the concrete. Now, I've actually been taking aqua classes for nearly twelve years, and there are a few things that I've learned from watching instructors self-destruct and then come back after surgery--and I'm so afraid she's going to hurt herself. But that's not the only thing she doesn't know, and it's starting to make me a cranky bitch, so I'm going to share.

*  For starters? Don't run on the concrete. There are NO pads and you will destroy the cartilage in all the body parts if you do that. Oh--so taking the advice of the fat troll in the pool is too hard for you? Well then… keep doing what you'll doing and then when they have to repair the meniscus in your knee or inject cartilage n your back, you'll know why.

*  For also starters-- that awkward thing you do when you tell us we need to lift our arms out of the water and above our head before putting them back? Well, if we're  doing an actual stroke, with specified moves, we could do that and propel ourselves through the water. What you are asking us to do will damage our joints, because lifting your arms in and out of the water like that puts stresses on strange places. I know you think it looks like fun OUT of the pool, but it's not when we're IN the pool.

*  Speaking of out and in the pool-- OUT of the pool, you are twenty something and perfectly willing to screw up your own body with your own stupidity, but IN the pool, we are either elderly, overweight, or suffering from some sort of physical problem from fascaeitis to arthritis to e.d.d..  Some of us are trying to exercise safely because there have been cardiac threats in the past. (Not me, thank God, but I get very protective about the little old ladies in my pool!)  Now, me personally? When you play that catchy little guitar riff that could kill a hyperactive otter? I tone it down out of instinct-- I never trust the person on stage, you are no different. But the sweet little old women in the pool with me are killing themselves to keep up. Every instructor I've known, in or out of the pool, reminds people to go with their own pace.  You need to as well, because otherwise you're being irresponsible.

*  And speaking of irresponsible-- when several people tell you that a move-- say, thumbs down breast stroke, for example? Is bad for people, please don't blow them off and do it anyway. I watched the authority effect happen today--half the people in the pool should have known doing that could tear their shoulder muscles, but instead, they watched perky young thing on the poolside making that motion and copied her.  She did the same thing with extension exercises, and I foresee a lot of strained backs.  Plank position, sweetheart, because we can hyper extend our legs behind us really easily in the water, and hello, that would fucking hurt.

Now, I know a lot of people probably read that rant and thought, "Gees, lady, you teach the class!"  I was actually asked to-- and for a whole moment, thought about it.  It sounded like a lot of fun-- but I just don't have time right now.  But that doesn't mean I don't have some things to offer.

Or, you know, at least kvetch about.

I guess my biggest beef was that we tried to offer advice-- little things like thumbs up instead of down make such a difference in the water, because you have SO much pressure magnifying every move.  But she wasn't listening.

Of course, it was probably karma. I remember when I was a new teacher and I thought I knew SO MUCH MORE than all of the old people trying to give me advice.

Well, life is a funny old dog, innit?

In this case I'm trying not to let that old dog bite all of us oldish women on the ass as we thrash about in the water.

*whew*  So thanks for letting me get that off my chest-- tomorrow, I whine about them kids on my lawn!

Heartbreak Blue

Oooh-- pretty, right?

Okay, so, today's blog is interactive, yeah?

I'm currently working on Selfie, about a film and media star who is silently mourning the lover that the whole world assumed was his friend.  I'm venturing back to first person, like I do every so often, and I'm sort of digging Connor--he's kind and self absorbed and a little lost--what's not to love?

Anyway-- everybody really enjoyed Beneath the Stain, in which I used song titles as chapter titles, and I had a lot of fun with that.  What I started doing with Selfie was use movie titles as chapter titles…

And it's not nearly as easy.

See, movies have so much more behind them, I think.  When you use a movie title, you're drawing a REALLY deep and wide analogy, very often one that doesn't run just between a chapter, or even a moment in the chapter, and the movie, but between the entire book!  I mean, this is about the pain of losing someone when you were both hiding the secret. Exactly which chapter of this book would be best named Brokeback Mountain, right?

So, I'm thinking maybe quotes--short and specific, no more than five words--would be better.  I'm going to have to go back and edit in.  But things like, "Wish I could quit you!" or "As you wish," or "Planet of regret" are all perfectly good chapter titles, and they're all classic moments from movies.

So, since I have to redo this entire thing-- and I'm going to have around 20 chapters-- I thought I could put out the all call. Now do remember-- this is like going shopping with your girl/boyfriend. The minute he/she puts something on and says, "Do you think I should get this?" you are pretty much fucked. If you say yes, he/she will definitely get the other one. If you say no, he/she will want to know why and something about what you say is definitely going to hurt his/her feelings. "I don't know, hon-- it has Star Wars emojis all over it, and aren't you a Trekkie?" will cause the love of your life to wail, "You don't understand my sartorial irony!" and, well, did I mention the fucked?

So I can't promise I'll actually use your suggestions--but I can promise to be highly entertained by them, and to be grateful should they spawn others that I do use, and really grateful if you leave a comment that makes the angels weep with perfection.  I mostly just want some pinballs to bounce off, and I've been doing this for a while-- I know you all have the best ideas!

So, Twitter, FB, GR or here-- leave me your "teeny movie quotes" and let's have some fun, okay?

Monday's Report Card

Getting up early this morning after getting in so late last night: F-

Meeting Mate for a quick McD's breakfast while he was getting his car serviced: C  (If we'd gone somewhere besides McD's, it would have been a B. If we'd managed a quickie, A.)

Getting to aqua late because I "lost time" in the middle of the dressing for the gym process: C-

Short nap after aqua and before picking up ZB-- C+  A LONG nap would have gotten an A.

Not having any place to put my Yaoi-Con stash-- F-, along with the house which is desperate for cleaning.

ZB's tale of his wayward English grade, D+, for obvious reasons.

Premiere Week: A  -- at last, something to look forward to!

Not having enough room on the DVR to watch At Midnight-- D-  Love that show!

Scorpion-- B+

Minority Report-- B-, until Wilmer Valderama walked in. Then it was an A.

Castle--B +

Squish making sure I got a hug and a kiss before bed--Solid A.

Mate being gone until almost 11 so we can watch Castle together--C-.

Dogs needing to sleep on me while I knit and watch television--C+.

Only getting 2K done today-- B-.

Having to wait until December for Winter Ball to come out-- C---

Being almost 90K into Selfie-- Solid B.

Twitter Snark tonight-- A-.

Getting to spend a night at home with the fam, solid A+

The Long Way Home

 Love Yaoi-Con.

LOVE Yaoi-Con!

Adore it.

People dress up--and look stunning.

People play.

Gender roles aren't a thang. At all.

And everybody's happy to be there.

So Ms. Rainbow up there was the first victim of my newly crappy camera (weak-shit, thy name is Microsoft Lumia, I'm not even playing.)  She was lovely, and I was so happy to land her!  Next up was our lady of the CROCHETED PANTS AND TIE! *shudder*  Yarn. You see? You SEE?

Ms. Keela and her lovely wonderful fantabulous family were next. You see that baby? Venona Keyes flirted SHAMELESSLY with that baby, and now they are soul mates. Seriously-- Keela got to go to Yaoi-Con with her family for her birthday--from ALASKA. How wonderful was that?

The other group up there was a Yaoi I don't recognize--but Chicken sure did. She was SO excited because they were only one person shy. I was so impressed that they got six people to dress up!  (BTW-- there was a group of ACTUAL stewardesses with a pilot from Japan Air at the con. People kept thinking they were in costume--they were very confused.)

We also have here the lovely Ms. Liz--wearing her Harry Potter corset with her lightning bolt lipstick. I adore Liz-- she's a YC staple, and her costumes are many and glorious!

Our lovely pirate here is Ms. Edie, who came to visit me last year and pick my brain. THIS year she came to tell me she finished her VERY OWN NOVEL and I could not be prouder. You GO Ms. Pirate-- you are fierce and powerful, and I adore you!

And Warboy and Max deserved a picture because… dude.

As did my beloved Ro and Andy, dressed from Nightvale and about to go to Arby's. Now, for those of you who read Bitter Taffy, Andy did lend Ro to me for a scene with Darrin. Darrin was depressed they didn't get to meet in person, however, Ro got to brag as he came by the booth. "I am too in one of her books!"  He was indeed, because that much awesomeness cannot be contained!

 And a not wonderful picture of Ms. Julianne. (Sorry, hon-- I kept blinding you, and I really wanted a picture to prove you were there!)  Oh! Oh! Oh! Her shirt? Glows in the dark. GLOWS. IN. THE. DARK. *hand flutter*  Best thing ever!


 Now here we have this lovely thing-- a set of ear cuffs with stars and roses on them, which I am giving to Chicken AND Squish. You heard me-- they are splitting a set of cuffs.  I have to tell you all, the cuffs are the most ingenious things-- they are lightweight, they stay on reasonably well, and they're ADORABLE! Yes, I got one of my own, why you ask?

And the inimitable Ro-- up to no good on Sunday, as he should be ;-)  Liz as well-- I guess today was a day for villains, right? Well, either way, they were both delicious.

But Yaoi-Con cannot last forever-- because if so, I'd still be there from my FIRST one back in 2010. I eventually made my way back to reality-- and there is nothing more real than the heinous backup on the stupid bridge. Dudes. Ugh.

I sent those pictures to Mate, so he would know I was alive but at a two hour standstill. Traffic eventually started moving, but I was forced to pee and drink some coffee shortly after the bridge.  Of course, an hour and a half later, when I was two miles from home, I had to get rid of that coffee, and God! When did McDonalds start putting in the toilet for customers only?

It was the SADDEST thing, because I screeched up to the McDonalds and launched myself out of the front seat. As I was running, a disabled panhandler came up to ask me for money.  Now usually I'm polite, even if I have no money, but in this case I just shrieked at the poor man, "I'M GONNA PEE MY PANTS!" and ran inside the store. Of course, when I got there, I realized I needed to buy something to use the facilities, so I made it up to the counter doing the peepee dance.

"Can I help you?"

"I'd like three cookies and a bathroom key please?"

"Sure, but they're unlocked."

I swiped my card. "Leave the cookies on the counter then, I'll be back."

I finished my business and grabbed my cookies to run outside, and the poor panhandler was still there. Now, remember, I just got back from Yaoi-Con. I have NO cash. None. I tried to give the guy cookies as I was trotting to my car but he put his hands up like I was the devil feeding him brimstone, and I broke back into my "two miles form home" sprint and apologized for having no cash, even as I was starting the car.

I wonder if all of this makes me a terrible person?

Anyway, I got home, was mobbed and mugged by Squish and Zoomboy, licked and chewed on by the dogs, and finally, Mate and I got a moment together.

Remember-- he's been on his own through a Bowling for Soup concert, soccer Saturday, and taking the two kids to a Republic game on Saturday night.

This picture was as good as it was going to get.

But I don't care.

I'm just so glad to be home.

You Ask Him

P.S.-- I'm calling this fandom John/Jack.  Since nobody else seems to have thought about it or named it, I'm going to claim that in the name of Amy Lane!

For those of you who didn't tune in LAST Friday, this is John Carter from Eureka and John Stilinski from Teen Wolf with a side of Sterek!  Enjoy :-)

(P.S. Yaoi-Con pix tomorrow!)

***

That part where Stiles resolved never to think about what his father did with Jack Carter was a total lie by the way.

After breakfast, during which Jack offered Stiles a career on a plate--and one nearby, so that he wouldn't have to move away from Derek, because sex with Derek was getting to be a staple of his existence-- Stiles and Derek spent a lazy Sunday morning in the living room, reading each other funny memes from the internet.

During a lull in the conversation, Stiles decided to broach the subject.

"You ask him."

"Ask who what?"  Derek was making lazy circles with his big toe on Stiles's ass through his sweats. Stiles wiggled, hoping his Dad and Jack would be gone long enough for them to have Sunday day sex, which was probably as awesome as Saturday night sex.

"Ask my dad."  Duh. Derek couldn't possibly tell him that he didn't think about it too!

"Ask your dad what?"

Stiles rolled over and looked at him, because it was obvious he was just being dense.

"You know. Who tops."

Derek got up and left the room.

* * *

The conversation had not changed as John had driven them from the bar.  They bantered, they talked about their jobs in law enforcement, they told their funniest/weirdest cases, and even, when the silences between them grew ruminative, their wives.

But John pulled the car up next to his son's battered jeep in the driveway--and next to Derek's sports car--and killed the engine. The silence between them fell thick and heavy.  John stared straight ahead and felt the heat radiating from Jack's body.

He thinks we're going to have sex. 

In his mind's eye he saw that homely/handsome face, and his heart and stomach clenched. Would it be hard to touch that face? To feel that mouth on his? Would he reject this man who would be nothing but kind to him, out of a moment of old inhibitions that he'd never believed were valid anyway?

The thought of Jack Carter hurt, faking it like he had in the bar--that made John ache in a whole different way.

He turned to look at Carter and saw the other man studying him in the light.

"You know," Jack began, "this doesn't have to hap--"

John kissed him.

His logical Sheriff's brain kicked in.

Lips: soft as a woman's.

Heat: Hotter, all encompassing.

Texture: Stubble rough against my jaw and cheeks. 

Neck beneath my hands: Skin a little tougher, but still sensitive.

Tongue: INVADING MY MOUTH!!!

Jack took over the kiss.

John found himself shoved back against the car seat with Jack's broad chest covering his, Jack's big, rough hands holding his biceps under his sports jacket.

HIs mouth on John's demanded a blunt, no-bullshit return for the solid domination of cheeks, lips, and tongue.

John returned it, stroking Jack's cheeks with his thumbs and keeping his eyes closed against the alien thought of a man doing this to him.

Although he wasn't kidding himself at all-- Jack Carter tasted like all man.

Jack pulled away from him and John opened his eyes, gasping in surprise.  Jack's hands cupped his cheeks, and his blue eyes--colorless under John's flickering self-installed street light--bored into John's.

"How you feeling?" he asked soberly. "Do you think you can do it aga--"

John kissed him again, this time dominating, pushing Jack back against his seat rest, and upping the game. The texture fascinated him. What would Jack's stomach feel like under his shirt? The skin was silky against John's palms, the muscles hard and compact. The hair was silky too, and his pecs were hard and heavy.  Oooh… solid muscles, John loved that. He kneaded them, warming his fingers against that silky skin, and then, oh, wait, there they were, against his palms, against his fingertips…

Nipples!

Tiny, pointed nipples. He rubbed circles with them as he continued to drive his tongue into Jack's mouth, and then, as they grew erect under his fingers, he pinched them both.

Jack groaned, and John felt strong fingers grasping the short hair at his crown and tugging.

"I was trying to go slow!" he gritted.

John paused, saw the toughness, the vulnerability, the basic decency of this plainly pretty man. He pulled Jack's hand from his shoulder and kissed the knuckles, letting his tongue trace the scars that had come from a life lived between civility and violence, between law and insanity.

"I don't need slow," he said decisively. "I need these hands--hard hands--on my body--augh!"

Jack had let go of his hair and had started squeezing his cock through his pants--he was as hard as he could ever remember being, harder than he'd ever thought to be again after his wife died.

"You need to tell me if I need to be gentle," Jack cautioned.

John traced his lower lip with a thumb. "I will take whatever you think I need," he said, closing his eyes and ceding his body and his pleasure to this other human--at least for this night.

Jack nodded, and he sealed the bargain with short, chaste kiss.  "Not in the car," he said, grimacing. "Aren't we a little--"

"Old to be in the car," Mr. Stilinski finished. "Yeah. Just… you know."

"Embarrassing."

"Right?"

They both separated and got out of the car, as efficient and utilitarian in their movements as they both were probably in their day to day lives.  John led the way to the side door, pausing before he unlocked it.  "You know, I really liked the kissing part," he said frankly. "Does the rest of it live up to that?"

Jack cupped one cheek and pulled him into another one.

"One way to find out."  He pulled up a corner of his mouth and John rubbed it with his dumb.

"Looking forward to it."

John preceded him through the door.

* * *

Stiles lay, naked and limp, under Derek's invading body. Derek watched, still thrusting, as orgasm rolled through Stiles's slender body, and his long, slender cock spat cum over his pale stomach.  Stiles gasped and opened his eyes, still panting.

Derek leaned forward, mindless of the mess, of his own full to bursting cock, throbbing for release in Stiles's ass.  His kiss was slow, languorous, and soulful.

When he pulled away, Stiles's eyes were still closed, and Derek's orgasm pulsed upward, from this thighs, stomach, and groin.  His erection, hard and clenched tightly, beat in time to his thundering heart as he groaned and fell forward.

Oh God, even a slow, lazy fuck, brought him to his knees.

He collapsed against Stiles, panting, hips still twitching as the climax vibrated out through his cock.

For a moment, there was nothing in the room but their hearts beating in time.

"Stiles," he said after a moment, careful because this was something they hadn't said before.

"Yeah?"

"YOu know I love you. I mean, you know that, don't you?"

He felt Stiles smile against his stubbled cheek. "Yeah, Sourwolf. Love you too."

"I mean, I really love you."

He pulled back and looked deeply into those playful, bitter gray eyes, hoping Stiles would see what he was trying to say.

"Yeah--I really love you too. What's up?"  Sudden panic almost flailed the both off the bed.  "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

"No," Derek said decisively. "But we're not officially boyfriends, and not 'hooking up' like you told Scott the other day, so know that."

Stiles nodded.  "Yeah, yeah-- I hear you. I just didn't want to--"

"You're not jumping the gun. I love you, this is real, and you need to know that."

"Good--I"m glad I kn ow that.  Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why do I need to know right now?"

Derek swallowed and touched foreheads with his beloved.  "Because. Stiles, I'm not asking your father who tops when he's with his new boyfriend."

Stiles smiled under his lips. "Yes you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

Stiles kissed him, hard, and not playfully at all.  Derek, who had thought he was replete and done with sex for the day, began to get hard while still in Stiles's body.

"Yes," Stiles murmured, and Derek groaned and kissed him silent.

And tried really hard not to think about what he was going to have to do after Stiles fucked him into submission.

* * *

Okay folks-- We'll see what John and Jack actually did in the bedroom NEXT week!

At the rest stop...

Here at Yaoi-Con with Mary, Poppy, Venona, and Shira-- we had drinks and dinner tonight, and it was awesome.

On my way up this afternoon, I stopped at the rest stop that overlooks Six Flags Vallejo--and spent a moment breathing deeply and wishing for rain. This landscape is not usually so bleak--but it was today.

I also saw these two guys, hanging out and enjoying Fig Newtons-- because it's what all the vegan horses are eating these days.

And then I made it to the airport, where, in spite of parking slightly west of You're Fucked and east of Egypt, I still managed to pick Mary and Poppy up.

And then I found my way back to You're Fucked and Egypt, which was the important thing.

Anyway-- I can' wait to see the costumes and the happy tomorrow -- Yaoi Con is always a really good time :-)

Dogs

Every morning I take the dogs with me to get Squish to school.

I used to let them both trot out to the car, but then Geoffie ran across the street too many times, so we started to carry her, and call Johnny, who seemed to have more sense.

About four weeks ago, Johnny took off across the street to bark at a turkey and almost began a second career as a road waffle. Ever since, I hooked him up to a leash to take him out to the car.

This means I need my bag, my phone, my wallet, one dog under the arm, one dog on a lead, and my keys to leave the house in the morning.

After I drop Squish off, I go by McD's, because they've got my coffee and oatmeal, y'all, and I usually get a sausage patty and a hash brown for the whining, barking, drooling hairy things who have left nose prints all over the passenger window and little tiny puncture marks on the side panel.

Assholes. They whine for that sausage patty, too.

Anyway--

We get home, and after the first day I realized that Johnny is on a leash so they think there are walks involved, and, well, I could always stand to have more walks.  So now, we get home and I leave everything but my keys, my phone, and the dogs in the car, and we go around the block, where they crap once each, bark at everything that moves, and take turns pissing on every other house. Then they get home, consider it a great morning's work, and pass out.

Which is great.

I mean, seriously-- we've got ourselves a thang, y'all. Every morning. I get a walk around the block, and they get to crap somewheres besides our dust field of a back yard. (It used to have the prettiest, greenest grass. C'mon, El Nino, we need some fuckin' rain!)

Except Geoffie has this other habit, this weirdo habit of eating her halters. Every week or two weeks or so, she'll chew through part of it and then drag it around the house like a dead mouse.

Because? I don't know. Because she's a DAWG. Because seriously-- we've gone through around twenty halters, thick ones, thin ones, ones made of parachute cord, ones with metal rings at the juncture, ones with no metal rings-- I think the basic concept offends her.  

Because she's a dog, she doesn't see the connection between halter and walkies. She just chews the damned things.

So yesterday her halter was allasudden toast. This morning, I'm thinking, "Hey, I just stop at PetSmart (and wish Tommy and Jonah were there!), grab myself a couple of halters, and lickety splickety, we're back out the door.

Who here sees the problem with interrupting the routine at this juncture? Anyone? Quick! Everyone take a guess as to what I forgot about what my dogs NEVER forget at pretty much exactly THIS TIME in the morning.

So, we go into PetSmart and first Johnny tries to eat the 200 lb. German Shepherd named-- I shit you not--DARTH, and then, as I'm reaching for the damned halters with Geoffie in my arms, he makes a pit stop.

One half-quart pee and giant dump, right near the merchandise. He looks at me sheepishly, as if to say, "Well, you got me out of the car and walked me-- what else did you expect?"

I grabbed the supplies (bless PetSmart) and cleaned up what must have been 1/10th his body weight off the floor, then grabbed the two halters and fled to the register.

Geoffie was going batshit by this time, so the clerk helped me put the halter on so she could walk too, like Johnny.  And this is how stupid I am. I thought it was so she could actually walk like Johnny.  so when they both stopped to dig in the planter, I pulled them both out, because who needs to worry about Dogzilla pee when you're in a shitty parking lot next to a really busy street? So I pull them into the car, and Geoffie starts whining and then…

Well, she was smart about it. She has a little bed, and there's a soft side and a rough side, the non-slip side that goes on the ground, and that side was actually up, so that's where she took a dump.

Looking at me sheepishly as if to say, "Well, yoiu got me out of the car and walked me--what else did you expect?"

Oi!

So, the dogs and I, we have this routine. And now I know-- you can take the walk out of the routine, and you can take the McDonalds out of the routine, and you can even add a trip to PetSmart in to the routine--

But you can never take the shit out of the routine.

Ever.

No matter what you do different, the shit will still be there.

Letters to the Ether, Redux

Dear nice lady in the Drive-Thru at McDonalds--

It really was your turn to go, so waving you forward was not a hardship. However, when you paid for my morning meal, it really made my day and gave me a little faith in humanity. I'm so appreciative.

Sincerely sincerely--

Amy

*  *  *

Dear dumbass dog--

You know that walk you like so fucking much? It doesn't get to happen when you chew your halter off a week after we buy it. Every. Fucking. Time. If you're lucky I'll buy you a new one tomorrow, dumbass.

P.S. When I take you walking, you're not allowed to crap on the floor. It's the law. So there.

Sincerely, Me.

*  *  *

Dear dumbass dogs, both of you--

You've seen me pee before. Get out of the bathroom and get over it.

I'm fucking sayin'.

Me again.

*  *  *

Dear Cat--

No, I haven't cleaned the table. Yes, the food is still the same place as ever. No, you can't walk on my computer. Yes, I still love you enough to give you cat noogies.  Same time, same place tomorrow?

I thought so.

Be safe out there, boo-boo.

Cat Mom.

*  *  *

Dear family--

I"ve cooked before-- I know I have. Please stop asking me what that wonderful aroma is and making big eyes and "ooooooh" faces. If it sucks, I'll have sacrificed the ass of a pig for no apparent reason than to feed the dogs, we all know it's true.

P.S. I don't think Big T should be totally responsible for the kitchen. I think short people need to do something too.

P.P.S. And I think we can clean more of the things than this.

P.P.P. S.  But stay away from my stuff.

I love you-- have a street taco!

Mom

*  *  *

Dear Squish--

Just because you see my roots doesn't mean I've suddenly gotten older. It just means you've gotten old enough not to mention it. Besides, I'm dying my shit tomorrow, so chill.

Mom

*   *  *

Dear Zoomboy--

We're awfully proud of you for asking a girl out to a dance, hon. We're sorry she picked the other scrawny seventh grader with a big head and big feet (cause y'all look that way--I've watched your entire class walk out of school, it's scary) but I think in the future when you're something both famous and interesting, she'll regret it.

Mom

*  *  *

Dear Mate--

I'm sorry, but yes. I'm going to San Francisco to work this weekend. I shall enjoy it, but it shall not-- I repeat not be compared to your weekend in Vegas which I totally condoned even if it led me to watch the movie Pixels, because ugh. You owe me for that. I'm not even playing.

But I"ll miss you, baby.

I have total faith in you, and I k now you'll feed the children, open the doors when it's cool, feed the animals, and get everyone to soccer on time. However I do worry that you'll get enough sleep and I know you don't sleep well without me, so I'll come back early, 'kay?

Your Wife

*  *  *

Dear World--

See y'all y'all at Yaoi-Con--don't forget to stop and say hi to me and Shira Anthony and Venona Keyes and EM Lynley and of course Mary my Mary-- we'll be looking forward to it, starting Friday :-)

Amy

So, the weekend went where?

Saturday-- Mate leaves house at 7:30 in rented truck with portable goals so Squish's soccer field can have goals.

Squish, Zoomboy and I leave house at 8:30, attend son's soccer game, watch them do pretty good, gossip happily with the team moms, celebrate their loss, and drive to the next game.

Repeat for Squish's team.  Hide under shade as temperature creeps up to a muggy and smoke filled 97 degrees.

Stop for lunch, take kids home, drop Mate off back at Squish's soccer field, where he must wait until the field is done for the day to retrieve the rented truck.  Come home, blog, go to meet Mate at the truck rental place so he can drop off truck.

By the by? The truck rental place is… well… heinous does not begin to describe it. It's based in a liquor store right off the railroad tracks in Roseville. Seriously-- Ace and Sonny would class that place up, I shit you not. I waited there for fifteen minutes, and avoided people watching because my timecard is full and I didn't want to have to serve as a witness against anyone else entering the establishment.

Drove Mate home. Thought, "It's six o'clock--what the hell happened?"  Watched television, dealt with the dogs who were stressed at not having their morning ride, wrote 4K and went to bed.

Sunday--Woke up, write 1K, took dogs to to McDonalds and out for a walk, got home and picked Mate up.

At this point, the sky was apocalypse red, by the way. You couldn't see the sun, the breeze smelled like the rest of California--dust and smoke--and breathing was optional.  Into this weather we left to…

Go swap my phone out. Because it's me, it took an hour, and they were doing their best too.  I just always pick the wierdo phone with the wierdo problems that don't swap out, and I"m really particular and I have 5000 pictures, none of which can be used on the blog.

So, we left there, ate lunch, and went car shopping, squinting through the drifting smoke.

Car shopping took four hours--and we drove straight to the dealership, Mate pulled up the car he wanted on his phone (a 2004 Volvo, with his insurance money) and said, "I want that one."

They said, "It's at another dealership-- hop in, we'll take you to within a two miles of your house, you can drive back to the wilds of midtown sac, and tell us what you think!"

So we got the car, and even with cash it took way longer than we expected, because, fucking car shopping.

And we left and went, "Crap, milk and toilet paper."  "And dinner for kids!"  "And I need a goddamned cookie!"  (Okay, that last one was me, I won't lie.  I needed a cookie. I couldn't breathe, my head hurt, and I missed my nap-- I needed a frickin' cookie!)

And home, to write, to sleep, to wonder what happened to my weekend.

I'm thinking that Yaoi-Con is going to be a blessing--I will miss the kids and Mate and the stupid dogs, but at least I'll know, at the end of it, what in the hell happened to my weekend, right?

Before Breaking Paper

"Will there be a journey?"

"Course!"

"From the outside or the in?"

"Both, I think--"

"Will there be flawed heroes?"

"Yes!"

"And righteousness and sin?"

"Why not!"

"Will there be betrayal--"

"I hate that, but--"

"And fear and maybe pain?"

"Always pain."

"And will there be heroics?"

"I hope so."

"And crying in the rain?"

"That's maudlin."

"But will there be redemption?"

"I like that!"

"Will there be a little blood?"

"And fighting too!"

"Oh! Will there be some monsters?"

"That depends…"

"Bad humans count there too."

"Well definitely then!"

"Will there be… emotion?"

"Duh!"

"And maybe a little sex?"

"Yes!"

"Will suspense be in there?"

"I'll try!"

"Will I wonder what comes next?"

"That's suspense!"

"Will the characters surprise me?"

"I hope so."

"Will they make me cry?"

"They make me cry."

"Will they ask me how to fix it?"

"They usually ask me."

"Will they ask me why?"

"Again, that's me."

"Will the ending satisfy me?"

"If I'm good."

"Will it answer all my prayers?"

"Not all."

"Will the crisis catalyze me?"

"Uh…"

"But will it make me care?"

"I don't know! I don't know! I can only tell you this!
I have characters and dreams for them, they have
Pain and strength and bliss.
We will journey forth together
There will be sex and fear and rest,
And fighting and redemption
And you'll love them, if I'm blessed.
When you hitch a ride along with us
You're welcome company.
But since they're living in my head now
Their story is meant for me."

"Oh, oh no I get it--
I'm living through your pen.
But since we're going on a journey…
Do you mind?"

"Not at all. Shall we begin?"