Cate Lawley's Blog, page 4

Death Retires Cover Reveal & Excerpt!

And excerpt #3 of the soon releasing Death Retires! For those who haven’t been following along, there are 2 other excerpts, if you’d like to give them a gander. Excerpt 1 and Excerpt 2. Also, see cover to the right. (Ooooh, aaaaaah….)

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***Raw and unedited, just for you…Excerpt begins***

“Take me with you. Come on, you know you want to.” Clarence stalked in front of me as I prepared to head out the door.

I needed Lilac’s help. She was the only person besides Clarence who I knew that might have a connection to the other side and also might have useful contacts. And she’d been willing to bump my appointment up for a nice little bonus.

Careful not to kick Clarence—much as the fluffy perv deserved it—I walked the remaining five feet to the garage door and grabbed my keys off the peg next to the door. “I looked up that public access thing.”

Did I hear the faint whistling tune of a guilty cat?

“Clarence.”

“What? It’s a thing, emotional support animals. I figure, you used to be death, so you probably have a lot of unresolved issues. Who better to utilize an emotional support cat than the guy who’s been death?” He waggled his non-existent eyebrows at me.

“One of the deaths, and don’t do that when other people are around. It looks really bizarre.”

“Don’t do what?” He plopped down on the stained concrete floor like it was a down bed, then sprawled out with an abandon my knees and back envied. Stretched out like that, he looked twice his size.

“Never mind. My point was that there’s no such thing as a public access cat.” I stepped over him, refusing to touch on the topic of my post-death-collector psychological needs. “A little research revealed some startling facts. For one, claiming that you’re an emotional support animal is probably some kind of federal crime.”

His voice took on a whiney pitch. “But I wanna go with you. I hate staying at the house all day long. It’s bo—ring. So boring. Dullsville.” He rolled onto his side, displaying his white fluffy underbelly as he clenched and unclenched his claws, kneading the air.

“And the cardinals in the back yard?” I eyed him critically. He knew I knew about those birds.

His whiskers twitched.

I’d seen him staring for half an hour or more the other day. “Hm?”

“Okay, except for Mr. and Mrs. Red, your place is the worst sort of dull. There’s not even any porn since you blocked all the good channels. No pay-per-view. No instant watch rentals of any kind. You suck.”

***Excerpt ends***

Waiting on preorder links to go live at KOBO / B&N / iBooks. Google Play and Amazon should be live October 14th!

Don’t want to forget or miss the big day? (I know I don’t want you to forget the big day, but then it is my big day.) I’ll be sending an announcement out to my newsletter. Sign up to get Death Retires and other new release announcements. Pro tip: for the earliest announcement on your favorite series, be sure to join the series reader group by updating your newsletter preferences.

New Series Title & Excerpt

That new series I have coming out? It’s getting closer. I’ve got a series title for you… Death Retired (ta-da!). And a blurb that you might have seen already if you stalk my Cate Lawley site. I mean, I hope you stalk my CL site, but if you don’t…

Death’s not taking a holiday. He’s retired.

Geoff hadn’t planned on sunshine, margaritas, and women in skimpy bikinis. After hanging up his (metaphorical) hood, he had hoped to spend his afternoons reading at the local library. Unfortunately, his former position (as one of the deaths, not the death) was seeping into his current retirement and hijacking his restful plans.

Bad enough that he’s stalked by ghosts, but his former bosses have also saddled him with the care and feeding of a possessed bobcat. And then he meets his beautiful neighbor Sylvie, and his world truly is turned upside down.

Click below to see how Geoff becomes involved in his first murder investigation and all of the uproarious antics that ensue.

And if you were waiting for a second excerpt, you shall wait no longer! Didn’t catch the first one? No stress, it’s still there

Excerpt: New Story!

I’m crazy excited about this story. I broke all my rules to do this one. Let’s just say that if my writing schedule were a person, I’d be dead and buried in my backyard. That’s how angry he (she?) would be. Or maybe I’d be a pile of ash spread across my overgrown yard. Either way, you get the picture

Witch or Treat Release!

Witch or Treat is live, and it’s kicking some butt! We’ve hit several Amazon bestseller lists – so exciting – and have had a number of lovely reviews from old fans and new.

That’s what happens when you get a bunch of cool paranormal cozy mystery authors together, shove them in a room (virtually,) and maybe throw a few potions around. Okay, not really…but almost. It’s been so much fun for me to meet all of the great authors in Witch or Treat that I’m joining them for another project – a Christmas anthology!

Look for a Vegan Vamp Mystery short to appear in our Christmas anthology sometime in November. Mallory will be in attendance, and probably (definitely) Mallory’s mother, and probably (definitely) Mom’s boyfriend (AKA Wembley) and maybe a little mystery and drama surrounding the three that drags Alex into the mix. Possibly = ) I’m super pumped about this story! It’s been percolating for a while, so I’m thrilled to be able to finally write it. Keep an eye out for more info, and if you’re worried about missing it – sign up for my newsletter! Be sure to mark which reader groups you’re interested in (most of my series are listed.)

Haven’t had a chance to check out “How to Date a Witch” or the other awesome Witch or Treat stories? Grab it now! As of today, it’s $0.99 – and I’m not sure when it will pop back to it’s full price ($3.99.) I hope you get a kick out of the stories, and they get you in the Halloween mood. Enjoy!

 

Peach Mint Kombucha & a Witchy Murder

As I was hanging at my favorite coffee shop, sipping a (very tasty) peach mint kombucha, and writing, I realized I hadn’t yet announced my latest venture. Shame on me! So – here it is, fabulous cover and all, a cozy mystery Halloween anthology!

I’m drafting a Star & Ben short story, as yet untitled, for the anthology. I had a title, but then the story got away from me (oopsie) and I had to scratch it. The antho is due out in September, and it has a ton of cool cozy folks participating. I’m super excited!

For now, here’s an excerpt. Enjoy!

***Begin Excerpt***

Maybe a Halloween party hosted by a bunch of witches hadn’t been the best idea for a second date—at least not a second date with a human.

The woman draped over the edge of the jacuzzi tub stared blankly back at me. If she hadn’t been murdered, she’d agree that my judgment had been lacking. Isabella Treece was no fan of humans.

Bad choice or not, I could hardly have been expected to predict a murder when I invited Ben.

“She’s dead?” Ben held out his arm, just like a mom who’d slammed on the brakes. It was protective in a way that would be kind of cute…but for the corpse.

Wet strands of blonde hair clung to Isabella’s face and neck. Her head was tilted unnaturally and her eyes stared vacantly into the distance. She was so obviously dead that I had to assume Ben’s question had been prompted in part by shock. People said and did the oddest things when confronted with dead bodies.

I grasped Ben’s hand, gently squeezed his fingers, then moved his arm. I wasn’t about to get any closer. Not yet. Not with the stench of dark magic still clinging to her. Ducking my head close to his, I whispered, “Drowned. She’s a witch.”

Drowning with a dollop of dark magic: an excellent way to kill a witch.

Something about being immersed in water prevented self-healing. I tried to remember the particulars—it really was something I should know—when an ear-piercing shriek interrupted my train of thought. I swallowed a sigh. No way Ben and I were keeping this quiet now.

***End Excerpt***

If you haven’t read Star and Ben’s first story, Night Shift Witch, you can get it here:

Night Shift Witch is Live!

It’s here! Night Shift Witch is available on Amazon now.

Someone’s Dragon Is Double-Parked Outside

“Someone’s Dragon Is Double-Parked Outside” is a flash fic challenge from Chuck Wendig’s site Terrible Minds. I placed this story in my Vegan Vamp world, and it takes place about ten years before the soon-to-release Night Shift Witch novella. First draft version follows, editing errors and all.

Someone’s Dragon Is Double-Parked Outside

Magic—it’s a thing. I knew that.

I did.

My foot hovered above the bottom porch step as I eyed the great scaly beast squatting half-on, half-off the curb in front of my house.

Nope. Nuh-uh. Magic or no, dragons weren’t real.

It grinned at me.

I did a one-eighty and went back inside. I didn’t need to go to school today. Not really. I closed the front door and leaned back on it. The cool metal felt solid, real, and that gave my mind enough of anchor to consider my sick excuses. Achy tired? Upset stomach? Migraine? I just had to pick one, and tell mom I wasn’t up to school today.

And when she left for work—I glanced at the hall clock—in fifteen minutes and that thing turned out not to be a figment of my imagination?

The sharp pain of my head falling back against the door made my eyes water.

If magic was a thing—and it was. I’d recently become a witch-in-training, so of course I believed in magic—then it wasn’t so far-fetched that a dragon was double-parked outside my house. Although, taking up that much space, it’s great body flowing well into the street, one of our neighbors had to have seen it.

No sirens, no flashing lights, no choppers… The breath I’d been holding left my body with a whooshing noise. It was my imagination. Obviously. I’d been under some stress lately, what with learning about magic, starting the apprentice witch gig, and juggling all of that with school. Whatever Mom said, sophomore year wasn’t a walk in the park. Yep, stress.

Before I could reconsider, I opened the door and stuck my head out.

It fluttered it’s freakishly long, feminine lashes at me.

Lashes?

I walked down the steps to get a closer look.

Oh, yes—lashes. It fluttered them again, and I started to wonder if the poor creature had a speck of dirt in its huge reptilian eye.

The fluttering stopped, and its grin drooped at the corners. After a few seconds of much too intent scrutiny—which, frankly, made my skin prickle—it dropped most of its bulk to the ground. The loud thud made had me checking the length of the street for curious neighbors, but not a single soul scurried outside.

When I turned back to the dragon, it had planted its chin firmly on the ground. There was a bizarre resemblance to my friend’s begging Labrador. The slight incline of the yard meant I was higher than the monstrous creature, so it looked up at me just like Snooker mooching a piece of bacon from the kitchen floor. There was even a similar wide-eyed look of mingled hope and despair.

“Oh, lord. Are you someone’s pet?”

I’d swear the thing’s tail twitched.

“Are you lost?”

It lifted its head slightly. No clue what that meant.

At this rate, I wouldn’t be fibbing to claim the onset of a migraine. Free pass from school—yippee. Hard to take any pleasure in that, though, when the very real problem of a scaly fanged critter on my doorstep needed sorting.

Why me?

It cocked its head curiously at me, for all the world as if it could read my mind and thought the answer to my question ridiculously obvious.

“Right. I see how you are.” I considered my options, figured there was really only one, and then said, “Stay.” I held up hand and started to back away. “Stay.”

Tendrils of smoke or steam puffed out of its nostrils, and then it settled itself into a ball.

Seemed like agreement to me, so I turned around and hot-footed it to the kitchen, slowing down just long enough to make sure the front door closed quietly behind me.

It was probably protected from view, otherwise, someone would have seen it by now—but who knew how long that would last? And it seemed harmless enough, but what if a neighbor dog came along and it decided it was hungry?

I sped up a bit when I realized that hypothetical neighbor dog would be attached to a neighbor. I practically slammed into the wall as I used it to stop myself.

Huffing and puffing, I grabbed the kitchen phone off the wall, dialed my mentor, and then hid in the pantry. I didn’t want to consider the consequences if Mom heard this particular conversation.

Camille’s mellow tones came across the line. “Camille’s Crystals, how may I help you?”

“There’s a dragon on my curb.” I gasped for breath. “In front of my house.”

A range of shuffling noises followed and then a moment of silence. Finally, Camille said, “Oh, my. Is she still there? You can’t let her leave. There’s no telling when her protective charms will wear off.”

“What? How do I keep her here? And please, please tell me no one can see her.”

“Ah…” Camille paused, and I could see her in mind, searching for an answer that wouldn’t tip me over the edge. “Have a chat? She’s really quite social. And she’s probably terribly confused. Her djinni, the woman who cared for her, just died rather suddenly. We’ve been looking for Marge for the last few days.”

Marge?

“Stephanie!” my mother called from the kitchen.

I poked my head of the pantry. “Hey, Mom. I’m not really—”

“You look terrible.” Mom’s brow crinkled in concern and I felt a pang of guilt. She reached out a hand to check my forehead. “You’re all clammy. You don’t think it’s the flu, do you? I can stay home, if you—”

“No!” I took a breath and said in a much calmer voice. “No, I’m just getting a friend to pick up my homework. I’ll be fine with a little sleep, I’m sure.”

She gave me a worried look.

“Go. I’ll be fine, and you’re going to be late to work.” Maybe this would be easier than I’d thought…

She brushed a damp tendril away from my face. “Okay. Drink lots of fluids, and I’ll call to check in before lunch. If you need anything—anything—you call me at work.”

I nodded, and tried not to feel like a rotten little sneak.

Finally, she left—and I definitely felt like a sneaky turkey.

After I heard the back door click shut, I said into the phone, “Sorry—just had to get my mom out the door. Oh, no. You said those protections might wear off?”

“They shouldn’t—but with the djinn’s death, several unforeseen variables have been added to the mix.”

I was already sprinting to the front door. When I cracked it open, I saw Mom backing down the drive…pulling into the street…driving away.  “Thank god. Now what do I do with this dragon.” I rolled my eyes. “Marge. What do I do with Marge?”

As Camille explained why Marge, let loose from her djinn bond, might have been drawn to me—something to do with new magic and maidens, all very unicorn lore sounding to me—I tried not drown in a wash of panic.

The dragon outside my door? I could handle Marge. The more Camille said, the more Marge sounded like a sweet, lost, confused puppy.

But dragons were real.

More real than the imaginary monsters lurking under my childhood bed.

Magic was real.

More real than the best friend who’d faded away when I was six and made real friends.

Really real. On my doorstep, in my life real.

I swallowed my panic, and hung up the phone. I had things to do, like entertain a dragon for twenty minutes while the rescue crew made their way here.

Piece of cake.

That other thing, that cliff I’d just well and truly stepped off, that was no problem. Not at all.

To read more about Stephanie, aka Star, check out Night Shift Witch, releasing soon!

Night Shift Witch: Funeral Home Training 101

Want a little more Night Shift Witch? I’m just wrapping it up and about to send it to my editor! So, once again, BEWARE: Raw, unedited story follows.

This excerpt is Star’s first night at the funeral home. She’s about to start her training…or not.

***Stan pulled the sheet back. “May I introduce Mr. Chalmers, aged thirty-two, killed in a car accident.”

No way Mr. Chalmers was thirty-two. And he sure as heck hadn’t died in a car accident. But what were the chances? My first dead body, and I’d stumbled onto a paranormal?

I flipped the sheet back below his groin, certain I was mistaken. But no. There were his creation tattoos, plain as day. I was looking at a very dead golem. That was bad news. Golems were hard to kill.

I leaned closer and inspected his tats. There were small cuts along several of the tattoos. This wasn’t garden variety bad. No, this was the murdered kind of bad.***

Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter to get the edited version when it’s complete! Be sure to mark interest in Vegan Vamp when you sign up. If you missed it, here’s the first chapter!

 

 

Night Shift Witch: Preview

Completely raw and unedited, folks, so… BEWARE: Typos follow! You are forewarned = ) Want to read the whole thing, preferably edited? Sign up for my newsletter and make sure you mark interest in Vegan Vamp when asked.

Night Shift Witch
CHAPTER ONE: One Step Closer to Financial Freedom…and Dead People

I shifted in the hard chair and couldn’t help but pity the poor bereaved souls who usually sat in them. I would have thought a funeral home would spring for more comfortable chairs, especially given the cost of services.

The man sitting across from me frowned and said, “I’ve been meaning to get new chairs.”

I stopped fidgeting and met the gaze of the much too young funeral director. He was almost cute—in a red-headed, quiet, laid-back kind of way. Not my usual dark and brooding type. Not my type at all.

It was hard for me to look people in the eye these days, but I sucked it up and made myself. I wanted this job, and only sketchy people avoided eye contact. “That’s probably a good idea. So, about those hours, would that work for you?”

He leaned forward and made a note on the legal pad in front of him. “Like the ad said, any time between seven p.m. and seven a.m. Seven to midnight isn’t a problem. So,” He looked up from his scribbling, and his blue eyes drilled into mine. “When can you start?”

My breath caught. I saw something…something that made my heart clench in my chest. I blinked, breaking the connection, unwilling to see some secret truth buried deep inside the stranger sitting across from me. Mastering magical sight was turning out to be tricky. Since I’d begun studying it, I’d had a few accidental, uncomfortable moments, but this was the worst so far. I had to figure out how to turn it all the way off. That or never look anyone in the eye again. I didn’t want to know the hidden truths of every passing stranger.

Sometimes this witch gig was a serious bummer.

I evened out my breathing, and replied, “Tonight?”

Inside, I did a little mental fist-pump. My died-black hair, pale skin, and dark clothes hadn’t nixed my chances after all. A little surprising out in the boonies, so far south of Austin. Or maybe my not-quite-Goth look did bother him, and there just weren’t that many people willing to work for minimum wage and handle dead bodies. I needed the cash and the flexible hours, so I wasn’t about to ask awkward questions—like, about dress codes and such—and make the guy change his mind.

“I’ll be doing your orientation and training over the next week, so let’s start from seven to ten. If everything goes well this week, I’ll get you a key and you can lock up at night when you’re done.” He rose to his feet and extended his hand. “Welcome to Kawolski Funeral Home, Stephanie.”

My skin itched with the thought of skin to skin contact, but if I was going to work with unenhanced humans I was going to have to get used to some contact—and the name. I didn’t go by Stephanie any more, but Star didn’t seem like a name that would win over many employers so I’d put my birth name on all my applications.

I swallowed a sigh and stuck my hand out. I really should have worn gloves.

A brief look of amusement passed over his face as he shook my hand. His hand enveloped mine entirely—he was a big guy. He briskly shook my hand and released it.

And, surprisingly, I didn’t get anything off of him: no emotions, no vibes, no energy. I also didn’t get that creepy sensation of having my personal bubble invaded. Weird.

Could this guy actually be good old fashioned nice? The genuine, bland variety that meant he wasn’t picturing me naked or lying to me or trying to take advantage of me. Was it possible that he was basically feeling and thinking nothing bad? Nothing that leaked out through skin-to-skin contact and made me feel like I’ve touched something dark and slimy? Weird times three.

“I’m looking forward to working here, Mr. Kawolski.” And I was a little annoyed that I meant it. Dead people didn’t creep me out, and I was in need of a little cash, but mostly I liked the vibe of the place and the guy. Kawolski did deal with grief-stricken people all day long. Maybe he was as nice as he appeared.

“Call me Stan, please. You can save the formalities for the clients.” He hesitated briefly, then added, “Not that you’ll be interacting with the clients.”

Aha. I knew he couldn’t be that perfect. I smiled innocently at him. “Oh, no. You wouldn’t want the clients to meet the night shift.”

His lips twitched. “If you don’t mind wearing dark slacks and a white button-down shirt, I’d be happy to have you assist with late services. We can always use the help.” After delivering that zinger, he walked around his desk and motioned to the office door.

Not only had he called my bluff, the guy didn’t leak an ounce of deception. The invitation was genuine. My lip ring, died-black hair, and pale skin were apparently welcome, and not just in the back with the cold corpses.

I walked to the door, confused. No one was that cool. Especially not someone wearing a dark grey suit and sporting a practically military haircut.

He escorted me through the back to a service exit. “I’ll give you a call if I have any questions about your paperwork, otherwise I’ll see you tomorrow night at seven.”

I nodded, since I didn’t know what else to say, and headed toward my old civic.

Time to head to Camille’s for a debrief and a glass of wine or three. The interview—the evening as a whole—had been odd. And since I’d moved out of my ex’s place, I’d been living with my mom. She was the last person I could talk to, especially about witch business. She didn’t even know magic was real, let alone that her only daughter was a witch.

Mom thought the Society for the Study of Paranormal and Occult Phenomena was a ghost hunters club. I could hardly tell her they were actually the governing body for the local paranormal crowd, not unless I wanted them to slice those memories out of her brain. The Society wasn’t exactly modern in its view of civil liberties.

I rubbed my forehead, hoping to stave off my looming headache. Slicing and dicing, even of the magical variety, shouldn’t be anywhere near my mom’s mind. The woman was annoying, but she didn’t deserve that.

Speaking of annoying, she was probably going to freak when I told about this part-time gig.

I shook my head as I navigated the long drive of the funeral home. Mom was hopeless. Camille kept telling me to give her a break, but she didn’t have to live with the woman.

Thank goodness this job put me just a few weeks away from my own apartment. Mom would be out of my hair, and I’d be far enough away that I might be able to avoid exposing her to magic and any possible slice-and-dice consequences.

***Coming soon to my newsletter and retailers!***

Vegan Vamp News

New cover, new story, new Vegan Vamp book!  The Halloween Haunting should be coming out in late June, so keep your eyes peeled for the next installment in the Vegan Vamp series = )  Want to catch a sneak peak in early June? Be sure to sign up for my newsletter!

Bingo night at the retirement center!

It sounds tame enough to Mallory, except that the residents of this particular community include a grandmotherly hacker, a retired witch, and, once upon a time, Mallory’s Great-Aunt Lula. Visiting her dead relative’s former abode brings back memories for Mallory, but it also brings back Great-Aunt Lula.

With her ghostly great-aunt’s help, can Mallory and her crew discover who’s burgled Bradley’s condo, and why everyone involved with the break-in keeps dying?

 

And if you haven’t picked up The Nefarious Necklace, now’s the time. Hint: there might be some fun Alex facts in this one!