Rae Roy's Blog, page 30

Seminar Recap

It was wonderful seeing my friends though I was kind of stuck in my head for part of the trip.

One thing that was really good is that I was more prepared for sore feet this year. Also, going with fewer, but larger bags turned out better as we ended up in the section without the elevator and having to lug things up four flights was not something anyone wanted to do more than needed.

I drank a little much the one night, so I can’t remember all of the conversations with Mansfield Sensei from the UK and he had a lot of wisdom to share. I’m sad about this. A lesson learned for the future.

I took a number of notes on katas that were small changes with large ripple effects in terms of my own understanding.

I’m reading The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin S. Sharma right now. It talks about how most people spend much of their days ruminating on the same things as the day before. And how being stuck in a loop won’t get you to where you want to go.

At the seminar, we were told to stop settling for limited iaido when we can have so much more. It was a moment when martial arts learning directly applied to life. In the martial arts context, too many are doing things too literally to the book whether or not it actually would work in a real situation.

It now has been wondering how often I am doing things in life just because it is the way others do it. How often am I settling for less without reason to?

Goals Update

WRITING

P.A.N. Pilot: Submitted!*Horror Short Story: 433/7,000 words [Due: June 30]Horror Script: Waiting for the next phase.The Page & The Magician: 71,993/80,000 wordsPuppy Chow Script: Revision not started.The Blood Waitress Club: 24,092/80,000The Mockumentary Script: 10/120 minutesArtos Red Script: 2/120 minutes

*It feels fantastic to have finished something as it has been awhile!

HOME

Bathroom Door: 100%*Dishes: 95%Laundry: 80% Entrance: 80%Recycling: 90%Mirrors: 3/7

*The door has been trimmed and hung. It isn’t hanging level and I need to make another alteration at some point, but I’m calling it done for now!

FRENCH

Online: 25/30 hoursClass: 24/30 hours*Buy French K.I.S.S.

*I got 49/60 on the practice exam, which I hadn’t studied for!

FINANCES

Car Loan: 99.97% paid off.OSAP Debt: 3.16% paid off.Mortgage: 14.81% paid off.

FITNESS

Yoga – 0/3 (Wed, Fri, Sat)Iaido – 1/2 (Sun, Tue)Walking – 1/7 (Daily)HIIT – 0/2 (Mon, Thu)

MUSIC

Piano: ChopsticksTrumpet: ?

R~

Death

A number of people around me have lost loved ones in recent days, weeks, and months. I never know what to say. It’s a time as a writer when I feel like I, of all people, should have the words. But I don’t. And I don’t think I’m alone.

The most common things to say are, “Sorry for your loss,” or “My condolences.”
I can’t bring myself to type those words and I think it’s because they are not the words in my head. I want to say, “I’ll pray for you and your loved ones,” but I don’t because the vast majority of my friends aren’t religious and I don’t want to inadvertently bring up the possibility that there is no afterlife.
But what’s really in my mind to say most times seems too harsh or uncouth. That is, “This is so f**king sh**ty and there are no words I can offer that can make this okay, but if you need a hug, a shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen, I’ll be there.”

R~

May Long Weekend 2019

I fibbed. I had time to prepare the bulk of this post ahead of time, so I did.

It’s always difficult for me to pack for trips, but especially this particular one because we stay in dorms and need to bring extra things like blankets, pillows, towels, etc. And I can’t just eat whatever is provided for dinners, so there is an extra bag for me to carry. Also, we do an auction to help cover the cost of it, so more things to carry again.

One year, I packed most stuff into one big bag. There was some luggage tetris with that and I felt bad that we had to rejig everything to fit my bag in. It also happened that the elevator was unavailable, so I had to lug it up many stairs and it was a pain in the behind.

The following year, I went with several smaller bags instead, but that was a bigger headache and I had to have more help to bring my things in than the previous year. I really don’t like inconveniencing others. So much so that I stressed when asking a friend to help me move my stove, so I could get the flooring done. Despite knowing him for 20 years! And he moved the thing like it was made of styrofoam…

Anyway, all this to say that I initially started packing in smaller bags, but switched to the one larger bag for a large chunk of my stuff because it’s generally easier. Then it’s like I sort of combined both methods. I’ll have less to come home with.

And I almost forgot shampoo and conditioner. I ended up packing them in Tylenol bottles because I couldn’t find the bottles I know I had for that purpose. I also couldn’t find the in progress knitting project I wanted to continue, so I started a new one.

Goals Update

WRITING

P.A.N. Pilot: 16/44 mins [Due: May 31]Horror Short Story: 360/7,000 words [Due: June 30]Horror Script: Waiting for the next phase.The Page & The Magician: 71,993/80,000 wordsPuppy Chow Script: Revision not started.The Blood Waitress Club: 24,092/80,000The Mockumentary Script: 10/120 minutesArtos Red Script: 2/120 minutes

I brought a couple of projects in case I feel inspired.

HOME

Bathroom Door: 90%Dishes: 95%Laundry: 80%Entrance: 80%Recycling: 90%Mirrors: 3/7

FRENCH

Online: 21/30 hours*Class: 21/30 hoursBuy French K.I.S.S.

*I caught up!

FINANCES

I will be taking a hit here soon in all likelihood as the government says I owe them money. Two steps forward and one step back. At least there’s still progress?

Car Loan: 99.97% paid off.*OSAP Debt: 3.16% paid off.Mortgage: 14.81% paid off.

*I think I’m down to 4 more payments. Maybe less. It’s hard to tell with interest. Perhaps 3.5 more.

FITNESS

Yoga – 1/3 Iaido – 1/2*Walking – 3/7HIIT – 0/2

*I’ll be doing a lot of this on the weekend. Hopefully, I don’t break myself.

R~

A Break

A long weekend approaches in Canada. Victoria Day Weekend is a holiday in appreciation of Queen Victoria. There are a number of Canadians who feel we should no longer have connections to the British royals, but I suspect there are few who would love to give up this holiday weekend. The royals are celebrating a new addition, and after naming him Archie, I truly hope he is a ginger when he gets older. Not that I love Riverdale. It was good earlier on, but the plot lines have grown ridiculous. I miss the days when there was a strong focus on music. Now it feels as though it is trying to be Pretty Little Liars.

Anyhow, I won’t be posting this weekend as I’ll be deep into martial arts and celebrating. Hopefully, this break will bring me new inspiration to complete my projects and achieve my goals.

Also on the subject of a break, I’m wanting to reduce my personal Facebook use. These days, I’m preferring InstaGram. Yes, I realize they are owned by the same people. But I feel like a platform centered on photos with loved ones and fewer essays is a much more relaxed place to hang out. I also really enjoy watching those painting videos that run through a whole project creation quickly. There is something de-stressing about them for me.

In advance of the weekend, I’ve planted the only pepper seed I had, which I had thought was a Bolivian Rainbow, but the bag said BS… I have no idea what I planted. If it grows, it may be fun. I don’t like my peppers too hot. Chili peppers, jalapeno, and rainbow are about the most I enjoy. I had a rainbow plant before I moved to Ottawa and I was working on grooming it into a bonchi. It’s like a bonsai, but a pepper plant. Anyway, I learned previously to hold off planting anything before the long weekend seminar or I come home to dead things. Hopefully, I come home to a little sprout?

Goals Update

WRITING

P.A.N. Pilot: 16/44 mins [Due: May 31]*Horror Short Story: 360/7,000 words [Due: June 30]**Horror Script: Waiting for the next phase.The Page & The Magician: 71,993/80,000 wordsPuppy Chow Script: Revision not started.The Blood Waitress Club: 24,092/80,000The Mockumentary Script: 10/120 minutesArtos Red Script: 2/120 minutes

*I accidentally figured out my plot for the episode and possibly the first season. Me and my plantsing.

**Happy to discover I have more time for this as the pilot is taking some time…

HOME

Bathroom Door: 90%Dishes: 95%Laundry: 80%Entrance: 80%Recycling: 90%Mirrors: 3/7*

*I made some progress here. It’s funny how doing something like cleaning a mirror can help me figure out other issues with my space when I am stuck. I find this whole declutter project is like a stop and go traffic flow. I’ll have periods where I know exactly what to do and I fly through it, then the remaining mess is just this pile of stuff and I’m lost for a bit. I suppose that’s rather like the writing process at times! Anyway, the other mirrors are in my entrance and my bedroom now that the dining room ones are finished. I suspect the entrance mirrors will be next. The last four are closet door sized and shouldn’t be as bad.

FRENCH

Online: 20/30 hours*Class: 21/30 hoursBuy French K.I.S.S.

*I’ve been doing really good on this lately.

FINANCES

Car Loan: 98.2% paid off.OSAP Debt: 1.47% paid off.Mortgage: 14.81% paid off.

FITNESS

Yoga – 1/3 Iaido – 1/2*Walking – 3/7HIIT – 0/2

*I’ll be doing a lot of this on the weekend. Hopefully, I don’t break myself.

See you next week!

R~

Give Your All

Martial arts today gave me a thought. We were talking about how it’s important to give 100 percent because 90 percent will likely mean you die. And you don’t want to regret not giving that last 10.

Anyway, I got thinking about how people talk about giving 110 percent. Many say that’s not mathematically possible. But what if most what people believe is their 100 percent is actually their 90 percent?

Where did this come from? Well, on a number of occasions, I thought I couldn’t give more until I had to. Playing roller derby was one of those things that pushed me harder than I ever knew my body could physically go at the time. Divorce, miscarriage, and job loss are some of the things that pushed me far beyond what I thought I could handle emotionally.

Translating that to my writing, I have no idea where I will get to. I don’t even know if the sky is the limit. Maybe the only limit is myself.

Anyway, some things have changed lately, so some of my goals are changing. My back and neck have been giving me trouble and the only thing that seems to help them is yoga, so I’m now doing some yoga several times a week.

Goals Update

WRITING

P.A.N. Pilot: 13/44 mins [Due: May 31]Horror Short Story: 360/7,000 words [Due: JuneHorror Script: Waiting for the next phase.The Page & The Magician: 71,993/80,000 wordsPuppy Chow Script: Revision not started.The Blood Waitress Club: 24,092/80,000The Mockumentary Script: 10/120 minsArtos Red Script: 2/120 mins

HOME

Bathroom Door: 90%*Dishes: 90%Laundry: 70%Entrance: 75%Recycling: 90%Mirrors: 2/7

*To be finished after the long weekend. I have been stalling partly because of my back, but also because I was worried I wouldn’t be able to cut it in a straight line. Recently, I realized I could clamp my large metal level to it and use it as a guide. And maybe if I put the line on painters tape, I won’t disturb my paint job. Then I’ll just have to seal the top of it, reattach the wheels and hang it.

FRENCH

Online: 14/30 hoursClass: 18/30 hoursBuy French K.I.S.S.

FINANCES

Car Loan: 98.2% paid off.OSAP Debt: 1.47% paid off.Mortgage: 14.81% paid off.

FITNESS

Yoga – 2/3Iaido – 1/2Walking – 1/7HIIT – 0/2

R~

Feeling A Little Broken

My plans change frequently lately. But with good reason. I’ve been coming across a number of intriguing opportunities that are more time sensitive than others. Some are too good not to attempt. There are some contests in there and several job applications.

I recently gave an interview, which is also very exciting. An old high school friend had questions about being a writer. Mostly my advice was that having a day job is something many of us need for a long time because it takes a while to get established. I also recommended getting to conferences like Ad Astra to meet other people and learn. There were a few other things specific to the questions he asked, but those couple of things are an excellent place for anyone to start.

I woke up with a sore neck and seasonal allergies. Fun stuff! As such, I’ve been moving really slowly on my home goals. I could do some light things like dishes and move cardboard out of my unit, but not much else.

Goals Update

Writing

Horror Script: Waiting for the next phase.Horror Short Story: 360/7,000 wordsThe Page & The Magician: 71,993/80,000 wordsPuppy Chow Script: Revision not started.The Blood Waitress Club: 24,092/80,000The Mockumentary Script: 10/120 minutesArtos Red Script: 2/120 minutesP.A.N. Pilot: 9/44*

*I’m now working on this because the opportunity is too good to pass up. I swear I will finish something soon!

Home

Bathroom Door: 90%Dishes: 90%Laundry: 70%Entrance: 75%Recycling: 90%Mirrors: 2/7*

*There are 3 floor to ceiling mirrors and two sets of closet door mirrors. Remember when I said I would leave the dining room for now? Well, I couldn’t. I figured out what to do with it and reorganized it. This meant washing mirrors before putting things in their new places. I would have done the third one, but I’ve been fighting with my neck. A sign it’s time to change pillows.

French

Online: 11.5/30 hours*Class: 15/30 hours**

*Making some progress here now.

**Half-way!

Finances

Job: Revised CV*Car Loan: 98.2% paid off.OSAP Debt: 1.47% paid off.Mortgage: 14.81% paid off.

*And revised again as a recruiter called me about an interesting position. The job fair went well and I was able to give out several resumes. I also had a really good conversation that helped me understand some things. I know I’m being vague. Eventually, maybe I won’t be

Leaping Forward

The beginning of this week was about tackling the clutter. There was a pile in the middle of my living room floor on Monday, which has since been taken care of. Also on Monday, I made huge progress on my desk area. After rearranging the room, I basically have a little writing nook in my living room now and I love it!

[image error]It felt really Canadian to use “sorry” to obscure the picture of my friend’s son otherwise known as my young buddy.

I also dusted off an old desk top I had under my bed and was able to repurpose it under my TV to hold some cards, CDs, and my turntable care items. My home is definitely getting cleaned up, though I have so much more I want to get to. Much has gravitated into my dining room, but I am fixing the rest first. There are also some network cabling issues to work out, but it’s almost there. And I have a little stand for my tablet, which makes my desk more ergonomic.

I even rearranged my CV and was able to reduce it by 3 pages. There might be further work to do here, but at least I tackled it. Today, I made a number of copies at my job coach’s office in prep for the job fair this weekend. I’ve also been chasing other film related job leads.

Another thing I started was digitizing the mountain of writing notes I have. There’s a large, half full, Rubbermaid tub in my bedroom. I have a smaller bin in the living room I’m using to chunk it up. My cables also have a new home where my video games were living and my games are now with my movies. My consoles and other electronics are also more together now. My music stand has a new home too where it is out of the way, but always accessible.

One of the things I found while decluttering on Monday was a planner I had gotten a while ago, but didn’t make much use of. It’s meant to be a family planner, but I’m using it to track my goals in their own streams. I like that it has a meal lane as that is something I want to improve on. It has a lovely space now opposite my calendar.

I found a number of interesting low cost courses that I signed up for. They are all on-demand and fit with my goals.

Goals Update

Writing

Horror Script: Waiting for the next phase.Horror Short Story: 360/7,000 wordsThe Page & The Magician: 71,993/80,000 wordsPuppy Chow Script: Revision not started.The Blood Waitress Club: 24,092/80,000The Mockumentary Script: 10/120 minutesArtos Red Script: 2/120 minutes*

*One of my groups started another month of writing and I decided to start a new project for it because it is the one that is talking to me most though I’ll likely work on my others as well. The aim is 3 pages a day, but other things like reading, researching, etc, count.

Home

Bathroom Door: 90%Dishes: 90%Laundry: 70%Entrance: 70%Recycling: 33%*

*I tackled the cardboard.

French

Online: 6.25/30 hours*Class: 9/30 hours

*I’m now in the second section of level 1. It’s weird though. Some spots were supposed to take much longer. One lesson said an hour, but it said I took 20 minutes… This is why the hour count is rather crappy. I’m likely going to do far more than the level one work to get the 30 hours. On the upside, it may help me to advance faster?

Finances

Job: Revised CV*Car Loan: 98.2% paid off.OSAP Debt: 1.47% paid off.Mortgage: 14.81% paid off.

*Got resumes printed and have a few other things going on.

Fitness*

Iaido: 0/2Walking: 2/7HIIT: 0/3

*I’ve partly been struggling in this section because of when reporting happens vs when I do these things. I usually think of weeks as starting on Sunday like the calendar, but ROW80 has them end on Sunday lol! I’m going to try and resync this area accordingly.

Tonight, I’m taking a break from the house stuff and seeing Avengers Endgame with a friend. I expect tomorrow I’ll likely be back at tackling the clutter and job stuff.

R~

Good Things Really Do Come Eventually

I’m having difficulty believing it, but things are really finally improving around here. I finally made a huge dent in my debt. I can’t explain how much that means to me. I’ve been trying to get back to a certain level for many years now. Life has felt more like a struggle in recent years than it has felt enjoyable. That’s not to say I haven’t had fun, but it has often felt like I was constantly putting out fires in between the fun. Or endlessly renovating for a decade with little to no time left to spend on recovering and relaxing. My to-do lists have been so large I have had little time to breathe or stop and appreciate the sunshine.

Something I’ve noticed about myself as a writer is that I struggle to write when I’m worried about my finances. And there’s a level of home mess I can ignore, but after a certain point it becomes too distracting to focus on my projects.

My home is steadily getting better too, though it feels like the declutter effort is moving at a glacial pace some days. Still, I continue to chunk away at it. When I started writing this post, I was feeling pretty stuck. Until I ended up rearranging my living room. The flow feels better despite the stuff I still have to deal with in the middle of the floor. I have a decent spot to practice sword work where no light-bulbs are in danger. My desk kind of has a nook now and I can see my television from nearly everywhere. I was also able to remove my old bathroom door from the space it was taking up in my bedroom. I also got rid of a bookshelf and took some smaller things to donation.

So I went from stuck to figuring out what part of the problem was and taking a giant leap forward. A couple more leaps and hopefully I’ll be done for a good long while.

Now I have a giant pile of paper to sort through in my living room. That will be a big improvement once removed, but I’m not excited about it in the slightest. Maybe I’ll feel better about it tomorrow, but I need to do some serious resume work this week. If I do just a little at a time though, it might not be so dreadful…

I attended a Shinto Ryu seminar yesterday where I got to swing about a 9 foot long “spear.” I’m just under 5 feet tall, so it was a fun challenge. It was also a new experience because I’m not used to having to worry about hitting a ceiling. I’m mulling things over from the seminar. Perhaps there will be a related post sometime this week or next. It was nice to see my friends and to get away from the piles of stuff in my living room.

Goals Update

Writing

Horror Script: Waiting for the next phase.Horror Short Story: 360/7,000 wordsThe Page & The Magician: 71,993/80,000 words*Puppy Chow Script: Revision not started**The Blood Waitress Club: 24,092/80,000The Mockumentary Script: 10/120 minutes

*Right now, I’m averaging about 100 additional words per chapter, which will not make me reach my goal. I’m also reading a book, Scene and Structure, to help me improve in the area of pacing to see if that helps me squeeze out the extra words I need.
**I think this film is too expensive for my first, so I’ll probably have to write several lower budget ones first, but who knows what may happen with the right contacts.

Home

Bathroom Door: 90%Dishes: ?Laundry: ?Entrance: ?Recycling: ?

I bought some garbage bags to help with the declutter effort. Once I get my living room a little more under control, I can deal with the cardboard I need to cut, bind, and take down. I also have some items for donation to take to the car.

French

Online: 5/30 hours*Class: 12/30 hours

*Yeah, I didn’t find time for this during Easter, so it hasn’t improved. Resume first as I need to apply for jobs and be ready for a job fair on the weekend.

Finances

Job: Researching jobs.*Car Loan: 98.2% paid off.CC1 Debt: 100% paid off!**CC2 Debt: 100% paid off!**OSAP Debt: 1.47% paid off.Mortgage: 14.81% paid off.

*I have a lead that I’m following up on, but it seems to involve phone tag right now.
**YAY!!! I’m ridiculously happy about this one.

Fitness

Iaido: 0/2Walking: 0/7HIIT: 0/3

I did an entire day of martial arts plus all the decluttering activity, so I feel like I’m doing okay here this week.

R~

ROW80 Midweek Check-In – April 24, 2019

I miss the days when the news in this country was simply that a moose had gotten into someone’s pool or a tree frog had somehow gotten into Northern Ontario. It’s back to my regularly scheduled posting for the time being. Hopefully for many days to come.

Also on Easter weekend, I got my first sunburn and became a tomato raccoon for a time. I was quite tired after that. The Internet says I was probably dehydrated and that was the cause of the tiredness. The burn was the result of seeing an old friend, one I’ve known since my toddler years, so I’m not upset about it. It’s at the peeling stage now and it’s pretty bad. I’m glad I can hermit while it’s doing this.

The trek back to Ottawa was a long one as Highway 17 has flooding along it on the North Bay side, so it was closed. This was made all the more annoying by Google Maps insisting I should go that way. It would automatically change on me and gave me no mechanism to say the route is closed off. There was another way passed Redbridge, but the road was blocked just before Mattawa, so I couldn’t take that way either. Unfortunately, there is only one other way, which is through Algonquin Park. This was supposed to add 80 minutes to the trip, but it was longer than Google predicted. I tried to look at it positively because I had never seen the park, but it’s not the best time of year to be going through there as most things aren’t in bloom yet, so there wasn’t much beauty to make up for the extended timeline. I did get a good jump scare out of a park worker though when I stopped to ask where I could find a washroom. Maybe it’ll spark some writing eventually.

Otherwise, I’m on an organizing kick. Maybe I really will get this home cleared of clutter. I’ve even been matching up my jewelry into sets. I’m also pondering on getting a proper closet organizer for my bedroom. That will be a little later though. I want to better organize my sewing notions too. I even want to organize my martial arts notes…

Yesterday, I put a shelf up. It was once in my living room and had been earmarked for my bathroom for ages now. I finally got around to it. It was supposed to go in a different spot, but wouldn’t fit. Where it is now though, it also covers over holes and means less repair work for me. Though, I think I’m going to plug those anyway to help keep pests away. There is one less thing kicking around the hallway. Speaking of which, I put up a cabinet as well, so that’s another thing not in my hallway. I think I pulled a muscle near my ribs on that one though.

I also got some painting done and have done some job searching, so I’m feeling decently about my week thus far though I need to get on my French homework, writing, and resume writing. I need resumes for the jobs I’m going to apply for and the upcoming job fair. I want to attend a 2-day course, but it’s happening during French and the job fair. This always happens to me. I can’t be in multiple places at once, but I’d sure like to be!

With everything else, I haven’t really gotten anywhere measurable on my goals, so I’m going to end this here and get at them.

R~

Mourning for Sri Lanka

I didn’t get much done on the weekend because it was Easter. And I’m late posting because I spent part of Easter too sad to find words after what happened in Sri Lanka. I saw the early news reports. I saw the body parts.

Christians are and have been attacked often in recent years and most incidents go unreported. If you search for “attacks on Christians” you can learn about what has been going on in Nigeria for quite some time. The numbers may look weird and I believe that is due to the reporting of specific regions in Nigeria versus all of Nigeria, so take that into account if you do go looking for more information.

The bombings in Sri Lanka happened just days after Notre Dame was burned and an attempted arson in the U.S. at St. Patrick’s Cathedral. Many Christian churches have been burned in recent years and it’s estimated to be approaching a thousand in France alone. If you wonder how Christians could possibly be upset or think they deserve this ‘retribution’ for past crimes going back to the Crusades and Salem, well, I feel sad for you that you carry so much hate in your heart.

People should be free to practice their religion whether it be Judaism, Catholicism, Islam, Atheism, Hiduism, Jainism, Buddhism, Wicca, or whatever else. Killing people is not the answer to our differences. All that does is breed more hate and resentment and continue the cycle of hurt.

I don’t talk about religion often on here. I like to keep things light and non-denominational, but when something like this happens, I can’t sit by and say nothing.

They didn’t just stick to churches this time. No, they attacked hotels as well. The target could be anyone, regardless of faith, in the future. I think we all have a duty to condemn extremist acts such as this and those who perpetrate such crimes against humanity.

R~