Beth Greenslade's Blog, page 99

The Writer’s Heart

Nowadays, there are many "so-called" famous young writers. They are product of either a Writing Competition or the Wattpad. But really, are they that good? Or they are just using their influence to gain readers? And the worst? It's by creating numerous accounts just to create publicity or gain reads in their works.

 

In a generation where stories has gotten cliched or copying (knowingly or unknowingly) other's plot has been in almost every stories, one cannot know whether it's still worth it or not.

 

In an ocean of great books, famous writers and recycled storylines, how can a mere amateur writer make it to the top? Next to J.K Rowling, Stephen King, Mark Twain, Ernest Hemingway and so forth. Yes, I heard you. It's through gimmick!

 

GIMMICK

I will tell you straight to your face dear, gimmick is a lame but easiest way to be known. Its success rate depends on two things. First, the gravity of your gimmickry. Some gimmicks of these young writers ranges from wearing a mask, to wearing an all black, to wearing an eyeglass, to more absurd if not bizarre costumes and the lists goes on. Who cares if the story isn't even worth it, if you can pull off that gimmick! Right?

 

Second, it also depends on your readers. Yes dear, to make that gimmick successful, you must have a huge following. Take note that it is crucial for an amateur writer to be friendly and polite to gain readers. Especially the teens, they are mostly your readers. You must always interact with them even with a simple "Hi" or click that "Like" button if you can't accomodate them. Because if you didn't, they might think that you are a snob. That for some, it might affect their interest and eventually you will lost a follower.

 

But you see, above all these gimmicks that they are coming up, they have forgotten the essence of writing a story. A great story reflects the heart of the author. You as a writer, is giving away your personality, time and thoughts to your work. Sadly, the world isn't fair- so is writing. Readers and writers nowadays are only looking for that "romantic excitement". They lost that depth in what they write or do. They lost that creative imagination to a point that everything is- shallow.

WRITING ABILITY

Gimmick or not, a true writer should still have that heart in his craft. Your writing ability is what matters. Regardless if you don't have that number of reads your story deserves. Because a great story will be remembered if not now, maybe sometime in the future. Imagine yourself as a famous writer, with a great plot and a simple gimmick to compliment? You can never go wrong! And for that, you deserved my applause.

The post The Writer’s Heart appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

Things Your Freelance Writer Should Know

Finding a freelance writer is easy, finding one you like, not so much. When you finally find one that you like, be very clear about these things. Even if ‘but they’re in the style guide”.


Word Count


Word count, the most essential, basic, the first thing your freelance writer should know. It’s at the bottom of most submission pages, or explicitly stated. It is the number the writer will go by.
But what if it’s not, or hasn’t been updated? Don’t say 300 words when you mean, 400, you mean, 500, 500-700, but you can go over- be extremely clear. It is very important information, and not your writer’s fault if you fail to update it, or be clear.

2. Topics

Topics or word count, depending on the writer, one of the first things they ask about. What do you cover? What would you cover, any subtopics? Whatever you want them to write about, don’t be shy, be direct. It also makes hiring the writer, or the writer, accepting the job, much easier.

3. Audience

Who is the audience? This is an essential, must know or else. Along with knowing what to write about it, your writer needs to know how to write about it to appeal to your audience.

Writing for teenagers is very different from writing for retirees. Writing for a print audience is very different from writing for an online audience. The success of your content depends on your writer knowing this information.

4. Tone

Some topics are less serious, less technical than others. But not everyone agrees hoe much less serious and technical. It’s hard to make an article about “How to Make Friends” very scientific without sounding off putting.

Some writers might remove all technicality, be more casual. Some might be more scientific, logos driven. Dictate what direction your content goes in, and give specific examples and editing notes. If you want more technicality, say so. A good writer will be able to adapt and edit.

5. How Much Freedom They Have

Don’t say someone can be funny, and then when they’re funny, tell them their work is crap. If you let some people be funny, have a little more freedom, you have to let everyone have that freedom.

What language can they use, can they write in their own voice, can they make bold, personal statements? Be painfully clear about this. Some will get offended, but it’s better than your unbacked, unexplained and super emotional offense that makes your writers quit on you.

6. Due By

When should they get their articles in for editing? Yes, this can get overlooked, ignored. You can’t just edit it whenever it comes in, and publish it. You have a schedule, everyone is much happier with a schedule. Everyone, including you, the editor, is held accountable.

Editing takes time, and sometimes it’s not the writer’s fault that the deadline is missed.

7. Deadline

When will the edited final product be published? Where does an article fit in the schedule? You, your readers, and content creators should know this information. And it should be available to everyone on your team.

If the Due Date is unclear, then the deadline, published by, date is a good way to guesstimate it. Having a clear, obvious, deadline is better though. It also helps keep everyone accountable, and your readers reading.

8. Who’s the (Actual) Editor

Managing Editor, Editor in Chief, Editor- all different titles, with different functions. Managing editors are on the ground floor, and manage the editing, and scheduling. They are assisted by the editors they manage, or the writers. The Editor in Chief is above, and manages all them, and does less editing day to day.

Writers can edit their own articles, just be consistent and clear that they are supposed to. Or make sure they know who their editor, or editors are.

If you’re getting five different reactions to a piece you’ve submitted five times. There’s a game of hot potato going on, and guess what the potato is. It is better for a writer to have one, or two, consistent editors. Whatever their editing titles are.

9. Other Media

Do writers need to provide pictures, video? That’s manageable for most nowadays. What size, how long? What kind would you like? Do you have some they have to include, or you’d like to be included? Be very specific about this, oppress them a little. Make sure everything makes sense, comes together.

And provide tutorials, resources for them if this is the case. Writers are used to attempting to keep up with the times. Old writers can learn new tricks.

10. New Directions

When you have a revelation, new idea, policy, or general change in direction- tell everyone. It’s not the writers, or editors, fault when they submit work that’s not up to the new par. And you don’t publish it, for to them, no apparent reason.

If you pull something like that, there are other people and publications they could write for. That are much better communicators. And will listen when they ask why the technology magazine has a new food section, and why.

Your underlings have very good points sometimes, give them a chance, lend them your ear.

Being the boss isn’t always fun, but as long as you keep everyone informed, answer their questions, and don’t blame any publishing, editing issues on them. And treat them fairly, they won’t quit on you.

They will need a reminder of what’s in the style guide occasionally, instead of having an attitude, try memorizing 15 pages of rules and checking every sentence for every rule, on a deadline. You’ll realize that you’re probably not surrounded by idiots.

The post Things Your Freelance Writer Should Know appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

Detecting Sarcasm

Beep, beep, beep, if there was a magical sarcasm detector, yeah, that would be great. But alas there isn’t. However, you can still sense its presence. Of course, this is easier when speaking, but writing not so much. It’s possible though, here are some very strong indicators.

Humor is Clearly Used

If humor is already in use, there’s an increased chance that whatever offends you is not meant to be taken seriously, or meant at all. Sarcasm is a form of parody, hyperbole, it’s often dry, or hyperbolic delivery is meant to highlight ridiculousness.

Other kinds of humor accompanying it, highlights it even more, makes it sound more surreal. You will never see sarcasm by itself, or as the only tool used to achieve this.Sarcasm is actually very grounded, provides balance. That interrupts the giggle fits, makes you stop and think.

What are You Reading?

Term Papers and an article in “The Onion” are two very different things, they don’t sound alike at all. Because they’re not supposed to. They communicate their points, and seriousness, in their own ways.

If a document is intrinsically more serious, structured, dry, and not fun to read- there won’t be a lot of sarcasm. But an article on “Yes I am Judging You”, www.ehadams.wordpress.com, is intrinsically serious, but not. It has a different feel, and different elements, style. It will be sarcastic and humorous. More fun to read, so expect to hopefully giggle a little.

Tone

You cannot overlook tone in writing. You don’t have to read it out loud, but you get the mood, intention, of a piece from reading it, and hints like the topic, other writing elements.

If the tone is less serious, expect humor and sarcasm. If it’s serious, don’t not expect it, but expect it less. “I’m a monkey’s uncle”, is a serious statement in an autobiography written by a hyper-intelligent monkey, who is an uncle. And the hard road it had in life, being accepted by human society, with stories of loss, hope, friendship, and how life is bananas but beautiful.

“I’m a monkey’s uncle” used by Scar in “The Lion King”, is not meant to be taken seriously. It was a joke, his only joke in the entire movie. Simba was also clearly a lion, not a monkey. Scar was being sarcastic, and only equating Simba with a monkey because of his shenanigans.

Sarcasm is meant to be taken, but not literally.

Jews Caused the Civil War

Oh my, they did? What a- this statement seems out of place, shocking, why is….like Scar’s only joke in “The Lion King”. Sarcasm is disjarring and out of place in it’s essence. It’s shocking, it makes a point, makes you think, then laugh.

Some things are also just so categorically untrue, and people who know this will say them, but not mean them. It’s their way of mocking it. As Scar was mocking Simba in “The Lion King”, me saying “Jews Caused the Civil War”, is mocking that person on Twitter who actually sent me that link to that website.

Language

Language is key, they don’t just have denotations, they have connotations. They carry certain meanings, history. If words humorous, or not that serious or academic in nature are being used, that’s a sign.

Not to say that big, scary looking words can’t be used not seriously, but it’s just extra work for the writer and reader. It takes a very special, specific audience to warrant that extra work.

For example, “As a Christian, I am cool with schmersmorchman.” Obviously, duh, everyone knows what schmersmorchman is.

But “As a Catholic, I am against antidisestablishmenterrianism”, the heck? It takes work, and the more work it takes, the faster the humor flies away. Although if you get it, it’s kind of funny, and pretty darn sarcastic.

Sarcasm is hard to pull off in writing, successfully, and even harder to detect. But it can be done, and there are signs. You just have to know what you’re looking for, and not be offended by everything you don’t immediately get.

The post Detecting Sarcasm appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

The Downside To Self-Publishing Your Book

When you finally finish your book, and we mean really finish it - you’ve edited it, polished it and believe it’s in the best shape it can be in, you now have a huge decision to make.

Making the decision to self-publish your novel or to send it off to traditional publishers or try to get an agent is a tough one. Nowadays most authors feel particularly disheartened by the idea of sending their manuscript off to publishers and agents. Not only does it take a lot of research and work, but they then have to wait, often more than six months to see if they have been successful, which, as we are all aware, is extremely unlikely, even if your book is pretty good.

Because of this many new and even established authors choose to self-publish their novels. It seems like the most obvious option. However, before you do make that choice, it’s important to understand the process and be aware that there are downsides to it too.

So, at the risk of sounding negative, here are the downsides to self-publishing your book!

It’s expensive

If you think you can self-publish your book without any budget, you are mistaken. At the very least, if you want your book to be taken seriously you need to have it professionally edited, and a designer create a cover for your book. You then need to decide whether to just publish it digitally, or to have physical copies printed which you can sell yourself, or use a print on demand service. Then, of course, there are plenty of other ways to can end up spending money on your book. Having a marketing budget, for example, is particularly useful. To self-publish properly you are looking at a couple of thousand at least - do you have the money to do it?

It’s confusing

Learning how to self-publish your book isn’t as simple as it sounds. If you just want to do the bare minimum and upload your book for sale on a platform such as Amazon, then you might find this relatively hassle-free. However, unless you are incredibly lucky, you aren’t very likely to sell many copies of your book. The more time and effort you put into learning the tricks of the trade, the more likely it is you will see your book sales rise. This means getting to grips with all sorts - social media, SEO, website building, blogging and more - and sometimes you might feel as though your head is going to explode!

It’s time-consuming

As pointed out above, the amount of time you need to dedicate to self-publishing your book really does depend on how successful you want it to be. There are endless ways you can try to sell more copies of your book, and the more time you have, the more you can explore these - but if you are time-poor and impatient, you might find this quickly becomes stressful and frustrating.

It means marketing

There are so many ways you can market your self-published book, and often it’s a case of trial and error when it comes to finding what works for you. However many writers discover the role of the salesperson tiresome and intimidating. Are you up for the challenge?

It involves a lot of non-writing activities.

If you self-publish you become your own promoter, your own account manager, your own agent, your own marketing team. You are everything, and many of the activities you do won’t be sitting in your cosy writing space being creative. Some writers thrive on this; others absolutely hate it.

It’s hugely competitive.

Lastly, there is no denying that the market for self-published books is overly saturated. Trying to make your book stand out form the crowd, even if you do everything right, can be incredibly difficult. You might find that despite all your hard work, you still get nowhere, which can be a far worse feeling than receiving a rejection letter or being ignored by an agent.

So there you have it, there is no point in deluding yourself into thinking the self-publishing is easy. It’s about as hard to make a success of your self-published book as it is to get an agent or publisher to take on your work.

However, one thing that is universally true is that you are far more likely to achieve your goals if you really push yourself and do everything you can to make your book a success. So are you up for the challenge?

Bethany Cadman -author of 'Doctor Vanilla's Sunflowers'

The post The Downside To Self-Publishing Your Book appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

Writing Where It Hurts

Writing can be an incredibly healing and cathartic process, and some of the very best writing comes from authors being brave enough to explore their most profound, darkest, most agonising thoughts and memories and translating them to the page.

Many writers can feel scared or intimidated by exploring their own intense emotions. Dwelling on when they have felt most alone, most scared, most sad can feel incredibly daunting, but doing so, and using writing as a tool to express those feelings can bring about great relief, as well as create some incredibly raw, touching work while they are at it.

So how does one write where it hurts? How does an author find a way to get in touch with their most intimidating emotions, their secret feelings, their innermost fears? Here are some things to try:

Sit in a dark, quiet room

To tap into those buried emotions, you might find you need peace and quiet. Sit somewhere you know you won’t be disturbed and just open your mind and let your thoughts flow. Make sure there are no distractions and really focus on your thoughts.

Drink some wine (!)

OK so this may not work for everyone but having a glass of wine can sometimes help you to be less critical of yourself and allow your thoughts to become freer and float more readily to the surface. Focus on memories, issues you are struggling with or thoughts you usually try to block out. When they come to you, write them down.

Listen to emotive music.

Music can have a powerful effect on our emotions, so why not create a playlist of songs that evoke memories for you, or make you feel a certain way to get you in the right frame of mind and mood to write more emotionally?

Keep a diary

Keeping a diary will help jog your memory when it comes to recalling certain events and help you understand why you feel the way that you feel. An old diary can bring back so many memories so try to write a daily journal - you never know when it might come in handy.

Write while it’s fresh

If you are feeling particularly angry or upset, don’t wait until you have calmed down to write about it. Try to capture how you feel while it’s still raw; this will result in a much more emotionally powerful piece of writing.

Keep it private

Remember, you don’t have to share this writing with anyone, and you can pick and choose bits of it you want to use in your creative work. Reminding yourself of this will hopefully relax you enough to really go deep and get to the root cause and most raw, brutal memories, thoughts and feelings that you have.

Write freely

When you are trying to write with emotion, never censor yourself. Always allow yourself to write freely and without judgement. It doesn’t matter if it’s not eloquent or even that it doesn’t make sense at times; you can refine and shape it later.

Focus on how you feel afterwards

Writing in this way can be incredibly relieving and cathartic - is this how you feel after you’ve finished a session? If so, focus on these feelings of relief and weightlessness so you’ll be more motivated to try again. Remember, this kind of writing requires a certain amount of bravery, but doing so can make a powerful difference to your work, draw readers in, and if they have had shared experiences, can make them feel connected to you and understood.

Know when to stop

If it get’s too painful, overwhelming or exhausting then just stop and try again another day. You don’t have to explore every intense emotion you have ever had, every bad memory, every frightening incident all at once. So know when to stop for the sake of your sanity!

If you want to learn how to write more emotionally, or simply have some things brewing underneath the surface and you know you might benefit from writing about them, try these tips to see if they can draw out your emotions and help you craft powerfully moving and dramatic pieces of writing while you're at it.

Bethany Cadman -author of 'Doctor Vanilla's Sunflowers'

The post Writing Where It Hurts appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

How To Approach Bloggers For Reviews

If you have self-published your book, one of the most beneficial things you can do is try to get as many positive reviews for it as possible. The more good reviews you have, the higher your trust factor. That is, with the overwhelming choice that readers are faced with when choosing a new book, they are more likely to pick one that lots of other people recommend over one that has no or lots of negative reviews.

Of course, getting reviews is easier said than done. One effective way is approach relevant bloggers and ask them to do so. Having bloggers review your book, particularly if they are willing to do a whole blog post featured on their website about you, can be extremely valuable.

However, as one would expect, most high profile bloggers who will consider doing this for writers are usually inundated with requests. Therefore knowing how to approach a blogger in the right way, and make your request seem like a no-brainer for them is hugely important if you ever want to receive a positive response.

With that in mind, here are some simple things you can do to help find appropriate bloggers and contact them in a way that is more likely to make them say yes.

Do your research

Don’t just contact every blogger you come across and hope for the best. Take your time to research which blogs are relevant to you and why. If a blogger clearly loves horror stories and you send them your romance book, then you aren’t going to get a positive response, if you even get one at all.

Never send out a mass request

Bloggers can spot a generic email a mile off, even if you’ve addressed them by name and mentioned their blog name - they are not stupid. If you have treated them as an afterthought and haven’t put any effort into actually finding out what they are all about, they simply aren’t going to give you the time of day - and why should they?

Take your time

Make an effort to build up a relationship with bloggers before you reach out to them. If you’ve made an effort to follow them on social media, comment on their posts and share them, and made your presence known to them, they are more likely to return the favour by reviewing your book. The more genuine you are, the better.

Make it personal

Behind every blog is a person, and the more personal and approachable you appear the better your chance of success. There is a right balance of being professional and not overly familiar while also coming across on a personable level. Getting this down to a fine art can make all the difference.

Check out their guidelines

Some more popular bloggers will have submission or proposal guidelines or will even ask for a fee. Make sure you read these and take them seriously. If you don’t, you can’t expect the blogger to take your request seriously either.

Offer something in return.

Think about what you could offer a blogger in return. Perhaps you could write a guest post for them or promote their blog on your social media pages. Think of what you could offer them to make your proposal seem more appealing.

While these tips won’t guarantee you’ll get your book reviewed by bloggers, they will certainly increase your chances of doing so. So next time you are hoping to build up reviews for your book keep them and mind as a good blogger review really can make all the difference.

Bethany Cadman -author of 'Doctor Vanilla's Sunflowers'

The post How To Approach Bloggers For Reviews appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

Excited to be joining this dynamic community

Hello Authors and Wannabee Authors like myself

Just wanted to say how excited I am to have a place to chat and learn, share ideas and be inspired. I have always " scribbled" from an early age and dreamed of being a writer. Now, I am embarking on a lifelong dream, to actually complete a historical novel, based on my family history. Have done lots of research and now.......how to write it all in a way that is interesting and informative.....hoping to hear from others who have been down this road.

Kindest regards

Molly

The post Excited to be joining this dynamic community appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

On Writing: Why I Don’t Listen to Stephen King

Normally, I don’t like to give people advice about writing. I prefer to offer advice on how to get your writing published, how to deal with the publishing world, how to be a success. I leave the writing instruction manual to other less qualified people – by which I mean famous writers.

These are the people who get big bucks to tell other people how to write. Their publishers figure, “Hey, the guy’s famous. People will want to hear how he got there.” That much is true; people do want to hear how Stephen King, for example, became a writer. But do famous writers really know anything about writing?

After reading Stephen King’s memoir, On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft, I have to conclude that famous writers don’t know jack.  That’s because they are writing intuitively. They have a gift, and the substance of that gift cannot be transferred. They can only say, “This is how I write.”

The section of his book in which Stephen King chronicled his career as a writer (starting in grade school) was wonderful. It was funny, and scary, and very down-to-earth - just like his novels. Unfortunately, he spends most of his book telling us not how he wrote his novels, but how we should write ours. No doubt, if you follow his advice, you will probably end up sounding a lot like Stephen King.

The question is, do you want to?

Stephen King's Rule #1: Don’t use passive voice

Active voice is great if you want to produce a driving passage, filled with energy and momentum. But what if you want to convey something else – mystery, suspense? Here is an example of passive voice:

The body was hanging in the hall. It had been hung there some time in the night, when we were sleeping. As we made our way down to breakfast, we all stepped around it. Nobody looked up.  We all knew who it was.

Would this passage have worked as well using active voice: “Somebody had hung it in the night"? Absolutely not. The focus here is on the body. Using passive voice increases the tension and forces us to wonder, "Who hung it there?"



Stephen King's Rule #2: Don’t use adverbs



The overuse of adverbs (anything ending in -ly) can be clumsy. However, the adverb, like any other part of speech, fulfills a purpose. Sometimes you need to describe how someone is performing an action, without a lengthy descriptive phrase.

Gently, oh so gently, they lifted my body out of the river. They placed it on the bank and arranged my tattered clothing to cover what remained of my flesh. Then they stood around me, in perfect silence, their hats in their hands.

If only they had shown me such respect when I was alive.

That passage could have begun without the “gently.” But the impact of the (dead) narrator’s voice would have been compromised, and the force of the final line would have been diminished.



Stephen King's Rule #3: Don’t use a long word when you can use a short one



English, a gloriously complex language, is a mashup of Germanic and Latin roots (among other things). The Germanic lexicon is essentially agglutinative (via compounds): get up, get down. Latin roots are inflected: ascend, descend. Academic writing favors Latin roots, while colloquial speech prefers the Germanic. If you want to sound like Hemingway, or Stephen King, stick to the Germanic roots. But, if you are after a more scholarly effect, go for the Latin.

As the waiter stared at the coin in his hand, a slow flush spread across his cheeks.  The time traveler leaned back in his chair, adopting a stern demeanor. “My good man,” he said, “I trust the generosity of my emolument will not tempt you into drink."  The waiter threw the dime on the floor. “Next time you can get your own damn burger and fries!”

I'll admit I’ve cheated. In dialogue anything is permissible. But, placed well, those five-dollar words can accomplish much more than their one-syllable equivalents. Here is the last phrase of Camus’ The Stranger, taken from two different translations:

… and that they greet me with cries of hate.

… and that they greet me with howls of execration.

Which version do you think you will remember?

The real rules of writing

There is only one rule for writers. So pay attention. I will not repeat it.

You can do anything, provided that you can pull it off.

That second clause is the key. If you can pull it off, whatever it is, you will have written a masterpiece. If you can’t, you will have produced a piece of trash. Being able to do something successfully is what is important, not whether you follow the rules.

_________________

About: Erica Verrillo is the author of three MG novels, the Phoenix Rising trilogy (Random House), as well as the definitive medical reference guide for treating ME/CFS (St. Martin's Press). Her short work has appeared in over a dozen publications. She provides resources for up-and-coming writers - agents seeking clients, publishers accepting unagented manuscripts, free writing contests, paying markets, and more - on Publishing ... and Other Forms of Insanity.

The post On Writing: Why I Don’t Listen to Stephen King appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

Baffled Bill

William Grafton was a young man in his mid- twenties, recently married to beautiful Laura. He used to be a very ‘one-of-the-boys’ kind of guy, having been part of a rugby club, a darts club and a sailing club. Those activities used to involve partying and partaking in party favourites like drinks, girls and rock ‘n roll.

But, in theory, those days of wine, women and song came to a grinding halt the day he got married. He had decided that he needed to move on to the next logical step in his life; get married, settle down to sober habits, get ahead at work and then start a family – the tried and tested route of all healthy males, or so it was written.

Marriage did not mean that he had to avoid his friends altogether. He still had a lot of those - males and females. They all called him Bill. He called them whenever he needed help or advice. His best friend-in-need was George Humber - a friend indeed. There was Thomas, Richard and Harold, as well as Pamela - all good friends. He was rich in that regard.

Last Friday night Bill had a most preposterous dream. He did not remember ever having a dream quite as weird. His wife had been abducted by, what he could only describe as, aliens. He had not actually seen them but he knew that it was only aliens that had vehicles that flew off into the sky at a whim. He and his wife had been about to step into some sort of large glossy limousine. In his good-mannered way, he opened the door for her to step in first. The next thing he knew, he was standing at the side of the road seeing the vehicle take off without him. The noise of their loud exhausts rattled his eardrums. This was a very unpleasant situation. . He should have been in that noisy vehicle as well. Disappointment overwhelmed him.

He dreamt that he had pursued the airborne vehicle for a short while, running down a yellow brick road, shouting “Stop! Stop!” He was in The Wizard of Oz, as the Scarecrow bounding beside the yellow maize fields. But just as quickly, they had morphed into a field of yellow flowers. He did not notice what blooms they were, but he felt certain that he was in a world of Wordsworthian wonder.

He had swayed and danced and got awfully dizzy and exhausted. In fact, his head swam around in a sea of clouds. He felt headachy, tired of all the running and his legs were seizing up. He had a sudden urge to water those flowers with whatever was in reach.This was just before Mother Nature woke him up in her inimitable way. Reluctantly, he crept out of his comfort zone and waddled off to the bathroom as Mother had dictated. Both bladder and head required instant relief.

A terrible headache was something that Bill had hardly ever encountered; but it was second in line for the gratification queue. After a minute, he opened the medicine chest and despatched two or three tablets. Where had this headache suddenly come from? Not from those daffodils, surely? He ambled to the kitchen, fighting through a misty cloud of vagueness, and prepared a necessary and urgent mug of coffee and some toast – the wake-up cure.

He tried to recall his name; His brain strained. It came to him after a few seconds of concentrated thought. His name was Bill! It was the coffee mug in his hand that sparked the engine. ‘Bill, have your Fill’ was clearly inscribed on the mug, a gift from Laura. She always seemed to go the extra mile in buying him something novel on Valentine’s Day.

While waiting for his toast to burn, he thought about good old George. It was almost as though he sensed George was in the flat somewhere. He could swear that he had talked to him quite recently. He remembered his kindness, his patience, but could not think why he thought that. It should have been his wife Laura who was uppermost in his mind.

Did he say Wife?

What about his wife? He did not notice her on her side of the bed as he got up. But had he actually looked? It was difficult to really observe anything when holding one’s head in one’s hands. He made his way back to the bedroom to confirm or deny, still feeling tipsy. Her side of the bed was empty, made up and undisturbed. Oh dear!

Where was she? He knew she was not in the bathroom; otherwise he would have tripped over her earlier on. He searched the rest of the flat. No trace at all; and there was no George either – just in case. He did a sort of a panic pantomime and paddled back to the bedroom where he dressed hurriedly in last night’s castoffs, out the front door, keys in hand and took the elevator to the garage level. Her car was not in its bay. He now had a missing wife and her missing car. What could be worse?

There was something very seriously worse; the discovery that his car too was missing from its bay. He was completely baffled. His anxious brain was still half considering the alien spacecraft flying off with her in it. That was just a dream he told his brain, trying to convince it to think rationally. In any case, the aliens would not have taken both cars as well.

His head was still not in a healthy state to do too much logical reasoning. He did not know what to do next, so he just staggered out into the morning light in a daze. He wandered lonely under a cloud of despair, among the disinterested crowd on the pavement. He was so sad and all forlorn. Like a sheep that’s newly shorn. An odd thing he could not explain, he still had Wordsworth on the brain.

He wandered around, and around, and wondered what the heck had happened. Did she leave him early this morning? Was it his snoring? Did he do something inappropriate? And where was his car? He had no memory of it not being where it was supposed to be. For Bill, this Saturday had not turned out as well as most other Saturdays.

He asked himself how he was so sure that it was a Saturday morning. He just seemed to be certain for some reason. He must have spotted a calendar in his flat, he thought. No, that couldn’t be it. How would a calendar tell him which day it was? If only his head was not so fuddled. He had not even had his toast and coffee - no wonder things were so fuzzy. Breakfast was badly needed.

Hunger had now been added to his list of woes. He had to get back to his flat and try to fill up with food. No brain can work on an empty stomach. This was the first bit of logic that he tried. Once he was back in his flat, he decided that he should write down a quick to-do list. For instance, he wrote down that he must phone the police once he was through with his breakfast and felt better. He should also look for any note that his wife may have left for him in the flat.

But first things first: he had to throw away the cold toast that was still in the toaster and replace it with fresh slices of brown bread. He re-boiled the kettle and sensed that his headache was slowly clearing – thanks to the tablets he had taken earlier. The throbbing of the headache was now being replaced by another vibration. The beat and rhythm of it became persistent just like rock and roll. It was rock and roll, he thought. It was a familiar beat that he must have heard recently. Why else was it on his mind?

While the kettle boiled, he quickly checked the bedroom, the lounge and the dining room for the presence of a note. He found nothing. All he found was a grocery list. His wife usually keeps those lists to herself. This was a clue? The list was in the kitchen, affixed to the door of a cupboard with masking tape. Saturday was written on the top line.

A ringing interrupted his thought process. It was his cell-phone. The sound startled him. He had forgotten that it was in his pocket from last night. Had he been thinking more clearly, he would have phoned Laura’s number in the first place. With his head in Throbsville, he had just not thought of the obvious solutions. He looked at the screen to see who the caller was. It was Laura!

He answered immediately but with a little trepidation, not sure what she was about to say. There she was in full voice, cheerfully asking him how his first day of freedom had been. What on earth did she mean? But wait. Just wait now for a moment. Prompted and cajoled in this way, his forgotten short-term memories had flowed back. As he stuttered along, he wasn’t even aware of what they were saying to each other. But he knew what he was suddenly remembering - too much for his dry sponge of a mind to absorb all at once. From a little trickle of recollection to a splash pool of memories, then on to a flood, and finally, a tempest that simply blew him away.

Yes, she had left yesterday morning to visit her pregnant sister in Port Alfred. How could he have forgotten that? Almost her last words were “Now do not go and get carried away at Harold’s birthday party tonight. A married man like you should not become irresponsible just because he’s on his own for a week”.

But he had got carried away. Goodness, did he ever get carried away. It seems he had decided to enjoy that party as well as his sudden freedom - all in one go. He had given it his very best shots - one blessed shot after the other, and had completely neglected to heed Laura’s sage but forgotten advice. The rhythm and beat that had been bouncing around in his head all morning was the music of the night before. And the throbbing was obviously from his all night drinking and dancing.

Bill did not recall much else about the party. He just vaguely remembered that his good friend George had helped him back to his flat because there was no way that his best friend would allow him to drive his car back home. He hoped that Harold would not sell it to defray the costs of any consequences that may have happened during his hours of darkness.

Laura asked whether anything was wrong because he sounded so confused. He assured his chirpy wife that everything was fine at home, and that he was merely half asleep with a slight headache from sleeping too long. “I found your grocery list on the cupboard”. “How’s your sister?” he remembered to ask, completely unaware that she had already told him about her. In a frustrated tone, she told him to phone her back once he was sober again. He kissed the phone goodbye with mixed feelings. Yet it was a very timely call and he was glad that he had not phoned the police after all.

Bill now felt much more relaxed and was eager to get stuck into that toast and coffee that had eluded him all morning. He had made up his mind that he was not going to bother phoning anyone else that morning. Baffled Bill would go back to bed and catch up with his missing sleep. Perhaps he could get back to the daffodils and discover where those aliens had got to. He had a bone to pick with them.

The post Baffled Bill appeared first on Writer's Life.org.

Wine with the Authors

As a part of our #WineBook great Wine Tasting and Book Reading Event around #NYC we present our First Summertime WineBook.

FPInc. and Being Artsy have taken the Book Clubbing World to the next level. We invite you to come out and bring your ideas about life, love, relationships, religion, spirituality, and much much more............... we want to hear from you.

Join us as Six local Authors present their work and their craft to you. You won't want to miss the Food Tasting by Gourmet Chef and Author Keren Alexis.

Notes to Self - Author: AbikeMineuittie Benning Farley

Days Like This - Author: Ruth C. Durant

Sinning on the Way to Church - Eric "Crow" Draven

One Passionate Night - Keren Prescott & Sasha Forde

Empowered: The Woman's Guide to Following your Heart - Jenny Powers

I'm Not too Small - By Daniel "Young Decent" Stewart

The post Wine with the Authors appeared first on Writer's Life.org.