Byron van der Merwe's Blog, page 2

Sometimes we just need to be real.

Is social media a reflection of real life?

Now don’t get me wrong I like social media as much as the next person. It’s a great place to catch up with people you would otherwise have lost contact with and is also a good central platform to communicate with those you would normally catch up with on a regular basis.

But with all the plus sides to social media , I think there can also be a few negatives. In general, people only ever post the “high light reel” of their lives. The best, filtered pictures, in the perfect location with the perfect lighting. Some people even become obsessed with portraying the image that they are living the perfect life. The trophy wife, the best behaved kids, the new bigger better house and the exotic holidays. While it is awesome to celebrate the high milestones and good things in life (and believe me I think we should celebrate them). Sometimes life just isn’t all that it’s perceived to be. What about the times in life when stuff isn’t all that good? What about when you fight with your  spouse, or when the kids misbehave for days on end, or when you have been stuck at home for years unable to travel and holiday due to financial limitations? Posts like that are rarely seen on social media. But isn’t real life just that, real? Social media is awesome but I’m not sure it is always a true representation of real life. Believe me, no matter how amazing our lives are, if we look a little deeper, everyone has issues. At times life can be amazing, and adversely at times life can really suck.

Part of building authentic relationships is sharing in the good times and sharing in the bad times of life (See Romans 12:15).
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We need to build one on one, face to face relationships with people and not just live a virtual existence. But saying that, I think we can also be more real on social media too. Now, I don’t think that social media is necessarily the platform to share all of our life struggles. After all, you wouldn’t offload your most difficult moments with someone you haven’t seen for 10 years in normal life. However, saying that, it will probably be quite helpful to post some stuff occasionally about life when it didn’t go the way we wanted or the times when real unedited, unfiltered life just happened. This way we will begin to break down the fake masks that our lives are so amazing all the time. Because life is never so awesome all the time, for anyone.

Take yesterday for example. My wife went out for a coffee date with a friend and I had agreed to pick up our daughter from nursery school. I had been feeling okay most of the day but as I started walking to the school I experienced major pain in my back and my chest (now this is nothing new as the last year has been like this a lot, there have been over 6 months in bed due to extreme pain). By the time I reached the school I was in tears. I picked up my daughter and proceeded to walk home. Although, once we left the building I realised I would not be able to walk back home. I called my wife to come and collect us in the car. In the meantime, my daughter and I slowly made our way back to the school and waited inside until my wife came. The rest of the day was spent in bed with many tears due to extreme pain.

Now there is nothing glamorous about a father crying in front of his child’s school teachers. With this not being one of my best moments, I felt such a reservation about posting anything on social media. Perhaps some of it was just wisdom, not letting everyone know the intimate details of my life. But some of it I think was just fear, fear that people may judge me, after all I have written a book about the goodness of God and His wonderful breakthroughs in my life, and yet in this moment God didn’t feel very good nor did I feel particularly victorious. Perhaps I didn’t post anything because I felt it may break the perfect image that we feel the pressure to portray.

But this morning I woke up and felt like I should say something about it. I think we all need to just be real with ourselves and others. Living in victory in Christ is not about just being this faith powerhouse that never has any problems. Living in victory doesn’t mean we never face difficulties, nor does it mean that we will never feel defeated or question God. But I do believe it is about being thankful in every situation but not necessarily for every situation (see 1 Thessalonians 5:18). Living in true victory is not about hiding the difficulties so that no one else can see them. It’s about being real and praising God through the difficulties and rejoicing in each day that the Lord has made. Sometimes living in victory is about posting something on social media or writing a blog about the struggles of life to help other people be free. I believe showing people that we all have struggles helps sets them free to just be themselves and breaks this unhelpful perception that other people always live such perfect lives.

So I wanted to encourage you to not look too deeply into the lives of people on social media and wish that your life was that good. Also don’t feel the pressure to put on this image of a perfect life all the time, its okay to just be average or even that life just sucked today. Obviously, don’t share everything on social media, but be free to just be you, no makeup, no edits, no filters, just real life in all of its glory and all of its challenges. Also, make sure you have a few friends that you can trust and meet one on one with them to help you through the tough times. We were built for community and we were made for relationship. God in His wisdom designed us to not walk through this life alone.

Blessings Byron

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Testimonies of God’s Goodness

Hi everyone

I am  pleased to announce the start of a brand new blog series called “Testimonies of God’s Goodness”. The series is inspired by my book “Testimonies of a Good God” and the idea is to get people sharing their stories of God’s goodness in their lives.

This week’s story is from a good friend Izzi Stock. She is an amazing lady and has such a great testimony of God’s goodness and faithfulness.

I know you are going to be blessed by it.

Ps- Be in touch if you have a testimony of God’s goodness that you want to share, I would love more people to be a part of this series.

Blessings

Byron

I was 11 years old when I prayed a prayer. Mrs Williamson, our P7 teacher, was giving us the before-high-school chat. I don’t remember the full conversation but one thing she said stuck out: the boy who was her first kiss was the man she ended up marrying. At that moment I prayed a heart-prayer that my first kiss would become my husband.

Fast-forward 19 years: no ‘I do’ and certainly no first kisses. There was, however, confusion over the goodness of God. I had known God personally since I was at least 6 years old, had prayed countless prayers and stepped out on countless acts of faith. I had many answers to prayer, including miraculous provision and divine encounters, any of which could speak to God’s goodness. Yet honestly I was not certain if he truly cared or truly wanted to answer the heart-prayers, those deep cries that lay your soul bare.

I had staked a whole lot on each of those prayer. Some had been continuations of my prayer aged 11, others had been around other life circumstance. Some had been born out of faith from the provision I had seen, others had been desperate cries at difficult times; none had been easy to pray. The Bible says, “The LORD is good to those who wait for him,” (Lamentations 3:25). I was still waiting and the waiting was hurting me deeply.

Sitting in The Meadows in Edinburgh, a friend asked me out. Finally, an opportunity for my first-ever kiss. I was almost ready to give up on that childhood prayer, exchanging it for a short-term relationship that I knew would not last, in order to feel wanted by someone. I told myself God would understand, no prayer prayed as a child could be taken seriously in these circumstances… And yet I said no. Not through any act of great faith in God’s goodness or blinding light from heaven, but simply resigning myself to seeing through what I had started.

Three months later, I kissed a guy. A guy who I hadn’t known that day in Edinburgh. Just under two years after that, my first kiss became my husband. On the 25th July 2015, 21 years after I had first entrusted that heart-cry to him, I could finally say that I had waited upon the LORD and he was good!

Looking back now, I can see some of the reasons for God’s timing in this circumstance – not least that kissing a boy living at that time in South Africa would have been quite hard for an 11-year-old girl in Scotland! However, I have other heart-prayers that have not been resolved, and perhaps harder to come to terms with, others have had very different resolutions than I was longing for. I don’t have answers to these, or to the seemingly un-answered heart-cries of others I know about.

What I do know is that in the waiting, despite the waiting, God is still good. When the prayer is unanswered, or when we can’t understand the answer he gives, he is still good. He is not slow, cruel or distant – he cares passionately and holds you close as you bear the years of waiting. What I know is that sometimes faith is telling yourself to keep going, one day at a time, and such a faith is a beautiful thing to God. Finally, in my waiting, what I now know is that his goodness will be made known, whether now or in eternity, and for each of our heart-cries we will shout: “I have waited upon the LORD and he is oh so good!”

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Don’t Despise the Day of Small Beginnings

Don’t despise the day of small beginnings

 

We all want to live big lives of significance that change the world in some way. Perhaps you feel like you have a product, a ministry or a business in you that can help change the world in some way.

Well, we were all made for greatness in some form or another and God has great plans for all of our lives. 1 Corinthians 2:9 tells us that what no eye has seen nor what any ear has heard the great things God has in store for those who love him.

However, greatness starts off small. No significant work started off huge. Everything in life starts off as a seed. Jesus told us in Mark 4 that everything in the Kingdom of God is as if a man cast seed on the ground (see Mark 4:26). The seed is planted, takes root and then grows (see Mark 4:26). Zechariah 4:10 also speaks of not despising small beginnings because the Lord rejoices to see the work begin. In Isaiah 61 the righteous are compared to an oak tree displayed for the Lords splendour (see Isaiah 61:3).

Our lives are supposed to flourish, just like an oak tree that is on display for all to see. But did you know an oak tree takes years to grow and become established? It didn’t just one day arrive and become this mighty oak. No, a seed was planted, watered and cared for and then over time a tree began to grow. That tree had to weather the storms of life until it reached maturity and could stand firm under any conditions. Only once it becomes significantly big, do people start taking notice of it. But the growth didn’t happen overnight, nor did most of it take place where other people could see. The real significant development of that tree took place out the limelight so to speak. Perhaps the little tree had to endure a drought and a storm in it’s first few years of life and yet no one took notice.

Our lives are much the same and things that we endeavour to do start off small as well. You don’t become a great success overnight. There is no quick get rich scheme, nor does anything of value just happen. I’ve heard it said that things don’t just happen overnight but they started one night. Nothing of great value will be easy but we need to make a start. We need to plant the seed. Then we will have to tend to it, water it and help it grow. We will have to weather the storms, fight off predators and sometimes go through a drought to see our seed become a thriving tree. Most of this work and stewarding of what has been entrusted to us will probably happen in the shadows and without drawing much attention from other people. However, this part of the process is vital and can’t be skipped out. If Jesus said everything in the Kingdom of God is like planting a seed and letting it grow, then that seed we planted will eventually become a flourishing tree. If we want to build our lives to look like something of the kingdom, then that is the process we are going to need to follow.

Great things take time. Perhaps you have a dream from God that you want to see fulfilled in your lifetime. Well, I want to encourage you to make a start. Plant your seed and start tending to it. Don’t look for the approval of someone else, nor be disappointed if you are not immediately recognised. Remember that seeds take time to grow and when you plant an acorn seed it doesn’t necessarily look like an acorn tree yet. However, if you keep looking after it and nourishing it, it will one day grow into that great tree you are wanting. Don’t give up in doing good, for at the proper time, you will reap a harvest if you do not give up (See Galatians 6).

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Byron from Living in Victory ministries sends out regular devotions, Christian encouragement pictures and blog posts. Be sure to sign up to our blog to make sure you always stay encouraged.

If you enjoyed this post, check out some of my previous posts. Is God still good when life doesn’t seem to be?, No fear in the midst of chaos, Need help reading the Bible?Trusting God in hard times. Or just check out my whole blog.`
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God knows your name.

God knows your name.

Did you know that God really knows you?

In the world today with all its hustle and bustle, it’s easy to feel like you are forgotten or unknown. However, God really and truly knows you. You were fearfully and wonderfully made. God knew you before you were formed in your mother’s womb. He knows when you get up and when you go to sleep. He even knows the thoughts you are going to think before you think them. He knows everything about you (see Psalm 139). You are not forgotten, in fact, you are God’s handiwork and you were made for the purpose that God has prepared for you. He has good works already set up for you to do (see Ephesians 2:10).

You are not an accident, God is intentional and every person born on this earth has a divine plan laid out for them to walk in.
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The Bible says that God knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans for a hope and a future (see Jeremiah 29;11). You have a future and it’s good. Did you know you are so amazing that God even thinks about you? That’s right, Psalm 139 tells us that if we were to count the thoughts that God thinks towards us these thoughts would outnumber the grains of sand on the seashore.

It’s amazing to think about just how much God knows us. He knows and loves us so much that our names are even written in His book. Luke 10:20 and Revelation 20;15 both speak of God having a book of life that our names are written in. God, speaking of Israel in Isaiah 49:16 says that their names are written on the palm of his hands. God takes knowing His people so seriously that He even puts their names on His hands as a reminder just how much He loves them. You and I are His people too and I am sure He does the same thing for us.

God knows us so well that He knows exactly how many hairs are on our heads (see Luke 12:7). I have been married for 11 years to my wife, she knows me better than anyone on the planet. But I can guarantee you that she has no idea how many hairs are on my head, granted there may not be that many anymore, but still, she has no idea how many there are.

We are known by God. All of our days on this earth are even mapped out by God. Job 14:5 and Psalm 139: 16 tell us that God has numbered our days.

So the next time you are tempted to think that no one really knows you, just remind yourself that God knows you. He loves you and has never forgotten about you. There is nothing that can separate you from His love and you are His chosen child, born for such a time as this.

Today I encourage you to meditate on and think about the truth of just how intimately God knows you.

He knows your name so don’t worry about people who don’t.

Lots of Love in Christ

Byron

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Byron from Living in Victory ministries sends out regular devotions, Christian encouragement pictures and blog posts. Be sure to sign up to our blog to make sure you always stay encouraged.

If you enjoyed this post, check out some of my previous posts. Is God still good when life doesn’t seem to be?, No fear in the midst of chaos, Need help reading the Bible?Trusting God in hard times. Or just check out my whole blog.`
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