Lori Brant's Blog

Is It Time For A New Strategy?

It’s not me. I feel this way because,…..…he won’t change.…she is a teenager and moody.…he is jealous.…of my health challenge.…I don’t have enough money.…I can’t find my passion.…it’s snowing. Most people assign responsibility for their discomfort, sadness or stress by selecting an incident, someone’s behaviour, or circumstances outside of themselves as the culprit. Assigning blame for the unwanted experiences they’re having is a strategy. It’s what they know. It’s the strategy they learned as a child and continue to use as an adult because it appears to work. The strategy of blaming outside circumstances or people, keeps them from having to do anything differently than what they are doing now, because it avoids having to change. On the other hand, to take responsibility for their unhappiness, discomfort or stress would mean, they would have to do something about it, and ultimately, that would mean change.So, the strategy of blaming outside circumstances doesn’t make things easier, it actually makes life harder.How does the strategy make life harder?1. It takes you out of alignmentWhen you attribute blame to something outside of yourself, your awareness shifts from who you really are, to the ego.When this happens, you become isolated from your inner wisdom and begin relying on your past that is plagued with limiting beliefs to resolve the issue.2. What needs to change within you is ignoredThe Universe uses the experiences and people in your life to draw you inwardly home to who you really are.This is your purpose. If you draw your awareness inward, question what is creating your discomfort and transform your limiting beliefs, you begin to see that what you thought was creating your distress, is not. It was actually your thoughts you were thinking about it that created your stress, and not the situation or people themselves.3. What you focus on expandsWhen you see the outside world as hostile, and to blame for what you are experiencing, you actually are creating more of what you don’t want.The Universal law of metaphysics is that what you think about expands and multiplies, so thoughts of how others are responsible for your stress or doing something wrong actually creates more stressful circumstances.4. It keeps you from making changesIt’s exhausting to feel sad, annoyed or stressed. Changing how you perceive situations or relationships by changing your strategy, can bring the peace and calm you hunger for.Why do you resist change?1. Change requires more effortIt’s easier to keep doing what you’ve always done, the way you have always done it.Let’s face it, when things can be accomplished without much thought or effort, it takes less energy and you can get more accomplished.2. You’ve been wired to find the path of least resistanceYour brain is wired to make connections, find similarities, form conclusions and assimilate new behaviours into old existing patterns. If you’re trying to create a new way responding or develop a new behaviour or habit, your mind wants you to maintain the status quo. Your mind is going to try to convince you that the change you’re attempting to accomplish is not working, not what you are supposed to do, and try to convince you to go back to the old way of doing things.3. Your automatic pilot gets turned onChange requires conscious awareness. That means, you need to be paying attention by maintaining your state of awareness on the present moment so that you can notice when you are reverting back to old ways of being. When your automatic pilot gets turned on, you move through life without really recognizing the details of what you are doing. It is just like when you drive to the store and when you get there, you realize you were not really paying attention and can’t really remember how you got there. Discomfort, sadness, lack, and stress are messages from the Universe, letting you know your awareness has strayed, is focussed on the mind, (the ego) and on your limiting beliefs. Drawing your awareness inward, questioning what you are believing and transforming limiting beliefs are crucial to creating a new habit of maintaining a peaceful state of being. It would mean changing the strategy of blaming outside circumstances for your discomfort to a new strategy of seeing the discomfort as a gift. Discomfort is a gift because it is letting you know your awareness has shifted outward and is no longer aligned. Once you notice the stress, you can draw your awareness inward and in alignment with who you really are, question the thoughts you are believing and finally, transform the thoughts that are creating the stress.Lori Brant is the author of “The Happiness Toolbox: Finding happiness regardless of circumstances,” a motivational speaker, Life Coach and Life Coach trainer who inspires people to tap into their natural state of happiness rather than rely on outside circumstances. For more information about Lori, go to www.LoriBrant.com.

Setting Loving Intentions

Bringing awareness to your state of BEing before you set your intentions allows you to align yourself with who you really are, fuel the intention with love and create more loving experiences in your life. There are two states of BEing, FEAR and LOVE. Remember, what you put out into the Universe comes back to you multiplied. Intentions set from a state of fear, can create more fear compared to intentions that are set from a state of love, which can create more love. A loving state of BEing is best described as an alignment with the essence of who you are. In this state of awareness, rooted in the heart, one can consciously be aware of the purity of intention. Your awareness, as awareness serves, gives, acts, thinks or responds willingly, lovingly without concern for anything in return such as recognition, monetary gain, attention, fame, advancement, safety, or emotional gain etc. Once you discover that you are setting intentions from a state of love, you then begin to expand your state of consciousness, opening yourself up to infinite possibilities and solutions.How do we define fear, as it relates to our state of being? A fearful state of being is any time you act, think or emotionally respond with the goal to control an outside experience such as, to avoid discomfort, loss, security or loneliness. A fearful based intention might cleverly mask itself as a loving intention but with deeper exploration, it might be revealed that the act, thought or response is to avoid, influence, or in some way try to control a possible outcome. For example, giving a gift to someone. If the intention is set from a state of love, the thought of giving a gift originates out of love, and given in love. That’s it. When we think of giving a gift because it is expected of us, ( we think everyone else will give one, or because they gave us a gift), we are setting the intention of giving, from a place of fear. Thoughts like, “I hope they like the gift. Did I spend enough? Did I spend too much? Do I have the money for this gift?” are other unconscious, attached thoughts that get activated with the intention of buying a gift and establish the fear based state of being.Intention: Buy a giftThoughts:I need to buy a gift:How much will I spend? I need to buy gifts for family birthdays. What would my family think if I didn’t buy a gift? No one would buy me a gift. They would think I am cheap. They wouldn’t love me as much.I hope they like the gift:Seeking a specific response (smile). I hope they think I am great, they think I am thoughtful, loving, they’ll like me, appreciate meDid I spend enough?Expectation of how the receiver perceives the gift, will they think I am cheap, not value their relationship with me, not love/like me? Do I have the money for this gift? Did I spend too much? Thoughts of lack, I will not have enough money for other things, suffering, stimulates thoughts of not enough, need moreIn what mental, emotional, physical or spiritual state do you set your intentions? Bringing awareness to the origin of your intentions can have an enormous impact on your life. If, through this awareness you discover that you are setting intentions from a state of fear, you can then, consciously choose to draw your awareness inward, to the heart and align with the essence of who you are. From this loving state, you could question the fearful intent, by identifying the limiting beliefs that are supporting that fearful state, and transforming those limiting beliefs. The transformation of limiting beliefs is paramount in learning how draw your awareness back inward and maintaining that awareness in daily life.3 Questions to ask before setting an intention.What is the result I hope to achieve by setting this intention? What is the motivation behind the intention? Is the act of giving the receiving?How am I hoping to feel once I set this intention? Am I expecting an intrinsic reward from setting the intention?What is my present state? Am I in crisis, upset, lonely or am I feeling grateful? Where is my awareness?By bringing awareness to your state of BEing before you set your intentions you can align yourself with who you really are, fuel the intention with love and create more loving experiences in your life.

What You Think Is Drawing You Inward, May Be Drawing You Outward

Spiritual practices, experiences, conferences, theories, and groups may be just another way your ego keeps you focussed on the outer world.If I catch myself wondering if this person can help me go deeper or if this group will help me connect more, I remind myself that “more” is impossible. Going deeper, assumes there is a level, some benchmark measuring my spiritual attainment. It’s like trying to rank my ability to be Lori when I already am a Lori. I can’t be more or less of a Lori. Similarly, we can’t rank our spirituality. We already are, spiritual, in its entirety, and nothing we do or say can change that. The longing, the disconnected feelings we encounter represents our state of awareness, and not our level of spiritual enlightenment. Any negative feeling indicates that our awareness is focussed on an outside experience or an ego generated plan of action to fill the emotional longing and disconnection.Those on the spiritual path are not immune to the ego's desire to draw awareness outwards. It masks itself brilliantly as an energetic surge during a meditation, an esoteric experience, a physiological tingling, emotional shift, or collection of knowledge that is perceived as something done or achieved. The simple desire to recreate it, is an ego motivated desire because it perpetuates the illusion that pleasure is triggered by an outside experience. Something you did, created that experience within youAny feeling of less than or more than, is an indication that our awareness is focussed on the outer world and we are no longer in alignment with our true selves. Feeling the desire to Guru others(more than), believing a manifestation is of your own doing (more than), superiority (more than), seeing oneself as chosen (more than), evolved (more than), needing guidance (less than), not there yet (less than), separate (less than), are all indicators the ego is active.When I catch my awareness focussed on the outer, I consciously draw my awareness inward and ask myself what am I believing that is drawing my awareness outward. For example, once I had a strong desire to travel to Europe for a week long retreat to see a guru. By questioning my intent, I identified that my desire stemmed from my belief that he would help me go deeper in my understanding of who I really am. I was believing that, he knew more than I did, he had more abilities than me, that he was special, he had the power to create changes within me, and it would be faster to go to him than to wait for for my own insight. I was looking for him to fulfill my need to feel satisfied, special, gifted, transformed, connected and loved. Even though it appeared I was aligned because I was contemplating my inner spiritual self, my longing for more (negative feeling), and my inquiry illuminated the limiting beliefs that were drawing my awareness outward.It doesn’t mean we can’t go to see people, to read or receive treatments. It means that your intention for doing so may be the help you are looking for. I have read many books, have sat in many audiences and participated in plenty of workshops. They all helped me to understand metaphysics, and positive psychology but what truly transformed my experience was the personal application of the teachings, every day, as often as possible until it became my new habit. The teachings became so ingrained that when I swayed, I could feel it physiologically, mentally and emotionally and could draw my awareness back, inward.Questioning limiting thoughts and exploring negative feelings may seem like a lot of work but it’s vital to creating a new habit of maintaining a state of awareness on who you really are. Trying to find easier, faster ways to feel better is the ego keeping you busy, occupied and your awareness outwardly focussed.

The Universe Is Like a Self-Driving Car

I'm not sure who said it first but I have heard references like, "we are not living, but are being lived,"or"we are not doing, but are being done,"and I kind of struggled with the understanding of that. I had a hard time grasping what that looked like when applied to everyday life.Both statements seem to suggest that we are not in control, but it's hard to believe that we are not making choices, manifesting or making things happen.It got me thinking that it would be similar to the idea of a self-driving car. Imagine for a second that the Universe is like a self-driving car.  It drives on its own, knows where to go and keeps us safe. It gets us where we need to be, on time, perfectly, moment to moment, lovingly supporting us, always. That's our Universe. Perfectly designed and requires no assistance from us, at all, ever. All we have to do is trust the loving Universe and sit back and enjoy the ride. This is our natural state. To just sit back, and notice, moment to moment, the loving perfection of the Universe.But we don't do that. We grab the wheel and try to control that which can't be controlled.  We BELIEVE that we are the one driving the car. We BELIEVE we are choosing what we do, where we go, and believe we are making the maneuvers to keep ourselves safe. We've got a firm grip on the steering wheel, making it turn left, making it turn right. Sometimes we floor it , pressing the gas pedal as far as it goes, sometimes we coast.  Sometimes we slam the breaks hard refusing to budge.  We truly believe that our actions are driving the car and are oblivious to the fact that our efforts are not required and have zero impact on our trip.  When our movements line up with the car's movements, it reinforces our idea that we created it, and it feels good.  When our movements or plan don't line up with the car's movements we feel sad or disappointed and think we need to go in a different direction, or change our plan.But all the while we're being driven. Automatically, perfectly, lovingly. Cleaning up our limiting beliefs, helps us to release our grip on the steering wheel, open us up to trusting the Universe and seeing the gifts in the moment.  When we relinquish our illusionary control, we begin see that our path, is the perfect path, our body is the perfect body and our experience is the perfect experience because it is divinely orchestrated to bring us back to who we really are. It's freedom.We are not driving, but are being driven and our life is designed as the perfect RIDE back to our original state.

You Are Creating Your Experience, But Not The Way You Think.

When I started this spiritual journey, people told me, “I created my experience,” and I looked around at my life and thought, “Man, I’ve got a lot of work to do.”  At first, I believed that my thought or thoughts in the present moment were creating the outside circumstances and the outside circumstances were creating my pain.It’s my understanding now, that our belief system (which is a culmination of past experiences, thoughts and emotional experiences), creates our perception that interprets our outside circumstances, and in turn, triggers an emotional reaction (pain or pleasure) within us. We ARE creating our experience. We are creating our experience by interpreting or perceiving a situation or circumstance as good or bad based on our past.  We judge it.  If we perceive the outside situation as good, it will trigger positive emotions and if we perceive the outside situation as bad, it will trigger negative emotions within us.Why affirmations alone, don’t workSome people have advocated that changing our negative thoughts to positive thoughts will result in us creating what we want outside of us or our outside reality.  In other words, repeat affirmations frequently enough and we will be happy, feel more positive and eventually create outside circumstances to match what we want and how we want to feel. But, this doesn’t work. Why is that?Changing a thought or a number of thoughts from negative to positive is only the first step to changing our experience. What is often overlooked, is the power and influence of our belief system that operates subconsciously, and shapes our perception moment to moment. This belief system first began when we were a baby and continually grows and expands until it is questioned. It interprets everything within our reality and is responsible for our perception of everything outside of us, without us consciously being aware it is doing so.  Our belief system also houses a lot of the emotional responses we had in past circumstances.  These old emotions can be triggered by our perception of our present day experience.In my experience, the key to creating a new habit of positive thinking is to unveil the negative thoughts in our belief system that are keeping us from a clear, unobstructed view of our circumstances in the moment.  By doing this, we are better able to perceive the perfection in all that is in the moment.  It may seem daunting, but it is possible to clean up the limiting beliefs that are ultimately recreating our negative experiences and emotional responses over and over again. It is not the outside circumstances creating our pain and suffering but our perception or interpretation of them.If you are interested in learning more or want to clean up the limiting beliefs that are keeping you from the happiness you seek go to www.LoriBrant.com/events . Register today for, “The Happiness Toolbox Pilot Project,” an 8 week, interactive, online course that will show you how to clean up your limiting beliefs. Or if you are interested, you can Buy a book ,

What's the Point?

Why bother? Why work on limiting beliefs or the emotions attached to them if you end up feeling bad,..and stuck,... and unhappy while doing it? Is it not better to think positively and repeat affirmations until whatever bothers you passes and you can get on with your life?Resisting, and ignoring limiting beliefs or projections may be keeping you from some of the most intimate experiences of your life.Imagine having a pure, unobstructed moment, void of influences from the past and limiting expectations of the future.  Imagine having a profound meditative experience, completely awake, eyes wide open while physically, mentally and emotionally  engaged in what's happening in the moment. Imagine being lovingly washed over and pure joy rising within in you as you recognize that that is how life is meant to be observed, felt and tasted. Now what if that experience creates a profound physical wave of gratitude that envelopes you, swirls in and around your entire being while you remain physically, mentally and emotionally engaged, eyes wide open, completely awake and aware.In this state, you see others truly for who they are, without their stories or their problems because in that moment, you ARE YOU, without your story, without your problems, limitations or fear.Now imagine that these amazing, uncontrollable chain of experiences trigger your heart to swell as unconditional love, who you really are is being reflected back at you. Would that be worth it? Your life may be calling you, drawing you inward, to move you past what keeps you separated from what is possible. One way to experience all of who you are is to work on the limiting belief patterns and fearful projections of your future because it would  free you from the layers of thoughts that block the waves of gratitude, swirls of joy and unconditional love that is you.Lori BrantTeacher, Author, Life Coach, Life Coach Trainer and Mentorwww.LoriBrant.comBuy a paperback or AudiobookOne on one coaching

Seeing Perfection In What Appears Imperfect

     If everything is universal source energy (God), everything is perfect just as it is. To say illness is less than, wrong, bad or should be cured is to say God is less than, wrong, bad, and should be cured. Our journey is to love ourselves completely, just as we are, and by doing so, we are loving God unconditionally.                                             Response: In theory, I agree, Lori. The problem with illness is the pain and suffering that usually comes with it, isn't it? There

Opening Up to Reality

I have heard over and over again that, "You Create Your Own Reality."  Especially from those who seem to have achieved or acquired what they wanted.  But did they really create their reality or did they open themselves up to embrace reality?Consider someone who is going through the motions, detached, going through their day on autopilot.  "You create your own reality (YCYOR) advocates would conclude that their mundane, routine oriented thinking is creating their normal, routine looking life and

Are Excuses Keeping you Stuck?

      Excuses keep us small, prevent us from growing, expanding and being open to new opportunities so why do we keep using them?                   It is easier to keep doing what you have always done because change requires effort.  Your brain is hard-wired to take the path of least resistance and if repeating the same old excuse keeps it simple, your brain will choose it by default. Old belief patterns operate continually in the background and can sabotage your movement forward without you

How to Enjoy the Ride and be Open to Opportunities

It seems like everyone is working towards a goal whether it be to land a particular job, earn a 6 figure income, find the perfect relationship or buy the perfect house.         Goals are great because they give you direction and purpose, but they can also be distracting. If you are too focused on the big goal, you may stop paying attention to the present moment, ignoring pretty much what is going on right in front of you and investing instead, in the big pay off that you expect to get when you