Tracy St. John's Blog, page 215

First Four Friday – Netherworld: Drop Dead Sexy

Chapter 18
I don’t know how long I cried.  When I finally stopped, I noted with horror the reddish-orange light filtering into the shack.  The sun was setting, and the vampire would be climbing into his body pretty soon.  He planned to kill Tristan.
Available from Amazon Kindle, Nook, Smashwords, and NCP

WIP Wednesday – The Font

           June 29 is the release date for this erotic vampire novella.  Proofing is done as well as the cover, as you can see.  Isn’t the male model Jimmy Thomas delicious?            Naya ‘The Font’ Woods and her vampire abductor Elisha Midyet don’t trust each other at all.  Shared pain makes for strange bedfellows sometimes:
Naya stopped, her gaze finally lighting on the tiny graveyard that lay beyond the house and barn.  Elisha steeled himself for her question, which came a moment later.  “Is that your family?”“My wife and children.  I lost them all to consumption.  Tuberculosis,” he corrected himself.It had been decades since the last of his children had succumbed, and yet the old grief filled his belly, grinding at him with dull blades.  Within a space of six months he had lost them all, watching helplessly as they died one by one.  And he?  Elisha had never fallen ill.  They had left him to mourn them, to castigate himself with survivor’s guilt, to drink himself stupid until his vampire maker had found him lying drunk and semi-conscious in the loft of the now almost demolished barn.Naya’s gentle caress on his cheek startled him.  “I’m sorry Elisha.  Does it ever get better?  The grief?”She was crying, silent tears pouring down her face, and he was reminded she’d learned the truth of her parents’ deaths only the night before.  He pulled her close, held her slight frame tight to his body.  “It doesn’t get better.  Just more … manageable.”He’d lost so much.  So had she.  They clung together, him stroking her long, soft hair and she rubbing her hands up and down his back.  At some point during their shared misery, their lips met.  Their breath mingled.  And more than anything, he wanted her warmth, the feeling of someone else touching him, the fantasy that he was again loved and belonged to another.The grass he laid her down on smelled sweet, though not as sweet as her flesh.  He pushed her skirt up and found she was already sticky-wet with honey.  For once it wasn’t the flavor of her blood that tempted him; he wanted to taste her other juices now.

Tutorial Tuesday - Setting the Stage

Scene descriptions. Ugh. This is probably the least favorite part of writing for me. It bogs me down for some reason. I prefer to get my characters talking and acting and could care less if they're doing it in a blank void. Setting the stage for my story is my biggest weakness, so I've learned to pay extra attention to it. In fact, for a long time I wrote my setting descriptions separately from the rest of my work. It was the only way to make sure I'd plug it in somewhere appropriate and not leave my characters roaming around in a gray, nondescript world.  I'm getting better at it. In fact, some reviews of my work have specifically praised the detail of my settings. Who'd have thunk? But I still don't like it. 
So how do you get a reluctant writer to stop whining about how much she hates describing the scenery and get on with it already? Well, if you checked out the Building Characters clinic a few weeks back, you know I work best with a highly organized list. It's no different with my settings. So uncross your eyes and get ready for another obsessively detailed way to make sure your worlds come alive on the page. 
This week's example comes from Alien Conquest (Clans of Kalquor 3).  We’ll work with the opening scene.
First, I think about the general location of the scene I'm currently writing. We're on Jupiter's moon Europa in the distant future, where an isolated convent huddles under a containment dome. Yes, a convent with nuns. But that's not important right now. 
Next, I determine the specific place the scene is happening. Alien Conquest starts off in a ventilation shaft, located in the dormitory where the nuns and aspirants sleep. The shaft is metal and large enough to allow the heroine Cassidy to crawl into it. There she read works definitely not on the Mother Superior's list of approved books. The Kama Sutra, anyone? 
And what's the best time of day to read racy stuff? Nighttime, of course. The side of Europa that the convent is parked on is always dark however, so we're in the early part of the convent's scheduled sleeping hours. 
I like to look at the lighting situation. Obviously, if we're on Europa's dark side during the convent's sleeping hours, there is precious little illumination. Cassidy's copy of The Kama Sutra is an electronic file displayed on her illuminated reader. It's a bright spot of light in an otherwise shadowed environment. So you can now imagine Cassidy lying on her stomach, her wide-eyed expression lit by her reader as darkness pools around her. The silvery walls of the vent send off a slight glare where the brightest illumination hits. 
So far we're dealing with the first of the five senses, sight. While we're having a look around, let's list all our props. We already know about the reader. What else do we need to see? Well, there's Cassidy herself, though I don't count her as a prop. But her stiff, long-sleeved billowing nightgown is a prop, as are her modest cotton panties. So is the cache of sweet and salty treats she's got hidden in the vent with her. With these items in our sight, we're developing a clear picture of where we are. 
So that's it, and the job is done, right? I wish. No, you want your reader in the vent with Cassidy, experiencing what's going on right along with her. So we've got to engage those other four senses. 
Let's go with sound next. What does one hear in the middle of a sleeping convent in a private hideaway? In this case, there's the whispering motion of Cassidy's long hair and the crinkle of her nightgown when she shifts position. There's her own soft breath, growing a little quicker as she looks at the naughty pictures of men and women coupling. And don't forget the sounds of chewing and swallowing as she nibbles on a chocolate. 
Smell comes next. The soap Cassidy used to bathe earlier today still perfumes her skin. The dark, satisfying scent of the chocolate she's nibbling on. The slightly salty aroma of her arousal as she wonders what it would be like to lie with men as depicted in her book. 
Touch is the last of the must-have senses. The hard metal surface of the vent's tight confines might be claustrophobic to some, but for Cassidy it's a cramped yet comforting shelter, safe as a mother's womb. The starchy, stiff nightgown is uncomfortable however, even irritating. Her hair is soft against her face. And when she touches herself after a little while, she finds a pleasant melting sensation that is both sin and salvation. 
Taste won't always show up, but if you can include it, do so. For this scene, taste is easy. Cassidy is eating chocolate, rolling the sweetness around on her tongue, savoring one of the few joys left in her life. In scenes where there's nothing in the character's mouth, try flavors like the metallic 'taste' of fear. Or the stale dryness of panic. 
Last, the reader needs a sense of how your point-of-view character is feeling. Consider the locale of an abandoned building setting. A victim of a natural disaster desperate for shelter is going to see this building one way; a scantily-clad teenage girl being stalked in the halls by a hatchet-wielding guy in a hockey mask will experience it in a totally different manner. Mood colors a setting every bit as much as the five physical senses. 
So to recap the basic building blocks of setting: 
General area Specific location Time of day Lighting Props Sounds Smells TouchTasteMood
Here are a few paragraphs from the book, showing how we get a sense of place using these tools. 
Light, props, taste and mood: Cassidy Hamilton sighed before shoving a chocolate in her mouth. As cloying sweetness invaded her taste buds, she studied the page displayed on her illuminated reader for the second time. 
General area, specific location, light, props, touch and mood: She shifted, searching for a more comfortable position in the cramped ventilation shaft. Stretched out on her belly, her stiff, long-sleeved nightgown bunching around her knees, it wasn't easy to move around. The narrow ductwork, glowing silvery-white in the wash of light from her reader, was the only place she dared to read the illegal materials she'd downloaded from her grandfather's collection before being sequestered in the convent on Europa. 
General area, specific location, time, props, and mood: It was still early in the convent's sleeping hours on the eternal night side of the moon. Cassidy read every night in her hiding place, nibbling on sweets and snacks bought with the modest allowance her grandfather sent her. She'd been stuck on Europa for three years now, her days a monotonous drone of praying, tending crops, scrubbing floors, and Bible study. Even creeping through the ventilation system to spy on her fellow aspirants and the nuns had worn out its novelty. Only the stolen collection of banned books kept her mind sharp and sane. Fortunately, the library was vast. She'd barely sampled the many offerings her grandfather had kept hidden deep in secret computer files. 
Smell, touch, and props: Her thick cotton panties were soon damp. The scent of her juices, reminiscent of the salty tang of the Neuse River back on Earth, teased her nostrils. 
Props and touch: Cassidy's fingers slid down her soft, downy inner thigh and danced delicately over the moist crotch of her panties. She knew where the spot was, the sweet nubbin of skin that felt best. After only a moment's hesitation, she touched it. 
A warm, melting sensation poured through her core. Cassidy sighed. 

These few simple tools will bring your world alive, whether it takes place on a distant planet, a long-ago Scottish castle, or a dance club in the here and now. Well-described settings transport your readers away from the real world, which is why it's indispensible. Darn it.

Monday Man Time

Six Sentence Sunday – Alien Slave (Clans of Kalquor 5)

            The sexily scruffy Kalquorian asked, “Why are you here?  How does an Earther end up as a sex slave on Dantovon?”            Unlike the dangerous Wynhod, the psychologist was easy to look in the face.  Even easier to tell the truth to.  His gentle expression wasn’t guarded, wasn’t ready to judge.  Dani warmed in the alien’s regard.
Available from Amazon Kindle, Nook, Smashwords, and NCP

Positions, Please 7

You Dirty Dog
Doggie-style.  You know it.  You love it.  But did you know it came in so many different breeds?
You can have it lying flat on your stomach.  He can stand or kneel behind you … or even straddle your thighs for a tight fit.

You can have it while you crouch on all fours.  It’s especially nice if he reaches around to stimulate your clitoris or if he gets a good grip on your hips to masterfully move you back and forth onto him.


You can have it bent over a stack of pillows, a bed, a table, a chair … oh, whatever you find handy.


Lie flat, but use a pillow to raise your hips for maximum penetration.


No surface required.  Bend over as far as you can, steadying yourself on your thighs or shins.  


As always, try these moves at your own risk.  Be safe and have fun!

First Four Friday – Alien Salvation (Clans of Kalquor 4)

Chapter 11
            The clan, along with Lindsey and her family, left the refugees behind with two deer carcasses and the promise of rescue as soon as they reached the search party.  There wasn’t enough room on the shuttle to accommodate the group, but with a supply of food and the threat of Tragooms done, everyone agreed it was the best option for all concerned.            They’d found the Tragoom ship, part of which had been constructed of an old Kalquorian transport.  Bacoj cannibalized it for parts and made more repairs to his own shuttle’s engine, which was beginning to sound worse for wear.  
Available from Amazon Kindle, Nook, Smashwords, and NCP

WIP Wednesday – Netherworld II: Blood Potion No. 9

In the second book of this series, a growing rift between Brandilynn, Tristan, and Dan has a certain vampire ready to make a big sacrifice:
He rubbed his forehead, looking really tired.  Ghosts don’t get tired, at least not physically.  Tristan rarely let people see him as anything but cool and unflappable.  “That really cut what you said about I didn’t have any reason to be upset because I have sex with other women.  You have a point though.”I regretted my choice of words.  I knelt at his feet, wanting to touch him but not having the guts to do so.  “Forget I said anything, okay?  You’re a vampire.  Blood and sex go together.  I know that.”His dark eyes searched my face.  He shook his head almost violently.  “It doesn’t have to.  Plenty of my kind get along on the bottled and pouched stuff.  I could too.”Then joy of joys, he reached for me.  His hands closed over my upper arms and he pulled me into his lap.  I fought the urge to cry again as I snuggled against him.  I had to make this right, somehow.  I had to keep Tristan.  “The bottled stuff isn’t as good.  No vampire who can get it fresh from a donor drinks from a bottle.”I wouldn’t do Tristan as a vampire if I could.  It is just too freaky even for me.  But I’ll be honest.  It did hurt to know my sweetie had intimacies with other women, even though as one of the fanged, he’s a very different man from his ghostly aspect.  Still, I’d put up with it.  I love him that much.I was totally shocked when Tristan said, “If the vampire loves someone enough, he will find a way to stay monogamous with her.”I pulled back to look him in the face.  “What are you saying?”“If I gave up the blood groupies for you, would you give up Dan for me?”I stared at him, my mouth hanging open.  Emotions swirled within me:  terror, delight, love, and dread.  Tristan chuckled.  “My little commitment-phobe.”  He turned serious again.  “No need to answer right now, Brandilynn.  But once the blood supplies are safe again, I’m willing to take that step.  It’s time to choose one man.  Neither of us is going to share you much longer.”
Coming June 8

Tutorial Tuesday: Looking to the Past ... How to Weave in Back Story

We've all heard it by now. "Begin in the middle of the story." Plunging into your book headfirst gets the readers' attention and draws them immediately into the situation. A running start sets the tone for the entire book. Here are a few examples of first sentences from my books: 
"You're being watched," Ambassador Vrill whispered to Amelia. - Alien Embrace   Shaking violently, Michaela whispered, "I can't do this." - Alien Rule   I looked around the pine tree-filled woods that surrounded me and sobbed. - Netherworld:  Drop Dead Sexy   We're already well into the action right from the start, inviting the reader to find out what all the drama is about. But sooner or later, you've got to play catch up. The back story has to be addressed. After all, everyone wants to know how the character got herself into her present predicament. We also need to relate the history of our characters; what made them the people they are today. There are many tools to address this need, tools that will hopefully entertain the readers as much as inform them. I recommend using all of them, scattering them like breadcrumbs along the story for the readers to pick up as they go along. 
Tell Me About It  Having your characters tell each other what's going on is one of the easiest ways to feed the readers need-to-know information. Just don't pile it on too heavy. We don't want page after page of a character relating her life's story to her companions, because in real life, we'd duct tape her mouth shut after a certain amount of time. Lay it on too thick, and your readers will shut the book, slap a ten-cent sticker on it, and put it in the next garage sale. 
Here's an example of sharing back story through dialogue from Alien Salvation . An Earth woman is speaking to aliens who have crashed their ship: 
She nodded at the badly dented spaceship behind them. "It looks like you're having a little trouble." The Kalquorian glanced back at his ship, his frown deepening. His gaze returned to her, and he stepped closer. Lindsey caught a scent that reminded her of cinnamon. "Much trouble," the man agreed. "Portal unstable. Make damage." "The Bermuda Triangle wormhole? Yeah, it eats ships. None of ours can use it unless they're double hulled with buffer fields." She licked her lips. "Are you here to hurt Earthers?" His eyes widened, and he held his hands up. "No to hurt. We to work containment for radiation." 
From this we get the aliens don't speak English that well, they used a portal too unstable for their ship which resulted in the crash, and they're on assignment to contain radiation. They also aren't there to harm Earth people. It's short and sweet and gets the job done. 
There are times when longer dialogue can be used too without becoming overbearing. In Alien Rule , Emperor Zarl of Kalquor shares his story of surviving a shuttle crash in which his mate was killed. He speaks of his loss for about a page and a half, but I interwove reactions and questions from his listeners to keep it from becoming the Dreaded Info Dump (more on that later). As long as it was kept a lively conversation, it didn't read like an essay. 
A few weeks ago I covered the terrible dialogue creature, 'as you know'. That's the back story tool best not employed. Do not have your characters tell each other what everyone is already aware of. It's clunky and unnatural. For an example of how bad this technique is, please refer back to the 'Say What?' blog. 
Get the Hint 
You don't have to drop back story in like a ton of bricks. Alluding to past issues can tantalize while sneaking in little bits and pieces of the tale's history. Snippets of information allow for gradual spoonfeeding and keep the work from getting bogged down. In Alien Rule, Jessica's past trauma of being caught in a tornado kept showing up throughout the book: 
Jessica screamed as whirling darkness fell upon her. The roar of the wind pressed everywhere, and she battled against the shredding sky as it pinned her helpless body. "Lindsey! Lindsey!" she cried, reaching for her sister. Thrashing, she fell off the lounger, tangled in the soft cover keeping her naked body warm. Two of the triple moons remained in the sky, gleaming through her untinted windows and lighting her Plasian quarters. The dregs of the nightmare tugged at her, making her heart race even as comforting reality asserted itself. She lay still on the soft carpet, fighting to catch her breath. Just a dream. I'm safe on Plasius. Past is past, and all is well."After twenty years, I should have outgrown this by now," she grouched, extricating herself from the linen wrapped around her. 
From this short passage and others that pop up throughout the story, we know something terrible happened to Jessica at some point in her past. We get bits and pieces to entice us until she is finally forced to face her fears and give us the whole story. 
Groovy Man ... I'm Having Flashbacks  I love the flashback. It lends immediacy to the back story, letting you tell it in its entirety. The longer the flashback, the more pivotal it should be. Only something huge earns the right to have its own scene, perhaps an entire chapter. The flashback also has to have bearing on the immediate situation. After alluding to the tornado in Jessica's past throughout Alien Rule, I finally come to the point where it must all come out in gory detail. Jessica is forced to come to terms with the trauma of losing someone she loved and nearly seeing her sister die. She begins to tell the story, at which point I switch to the flashback so the reader can 'see' the events unfold rather than being told about them. 
Warmth enveloped her white-knuckled hand gripping the edge of the podium. Jessica blinked to see Rajhir's hand covering hers. She looked up into his kind purple-blue eyes. "What happened, Jessica?" he asked quietly. She took a deep breath. The room was silent, yet behind the hush she heard the remembered voice of the monster, how it screamed like a jet engine and filled her ears until they popped from the pressure. "My parents had gone to a friend's funeral, leaving my older sister and me with a babysitter. A big storm blew up out of nowhere--" * * * *Five-year old Jessica stood in the doorway between the den and the screened-in back porch watching the storm. Sudden afternoon storms on summer afternoons were the rule in south Florida, but this one was wilder than most. Roiling dark gray clouds blotted out the skies, and the wind whipped the razor-sharp palmettos without mercy. Rain drummed against the roof of the McInness cottage so loud she had to cover her ears. Lightning flashed to the accompaniment of deafening cracks of thunder. 
From this point the flashback continues until the entire back story has been revealed and we return to the present day situation: 
But Jessica had to help Lindsey. She ran back, the pain in her chest unimportant in her determination to do her duty. "Lindsey! It's okay! I'm coming!" * * * *"...I could have waited for rescue as Narpok did," Jessica told Rajhir and the assembled council. Her eyes streamed with silent tears. Clajak could see her shaking from his seat, and it took every ounce of self control to not run to her side. 
This flashback ran for seven pages, much too long for dialogue, interior monologue (covered next) or even the Dreaded Info Dump. It was imperative I delve deeply into this back story, as it not only made Jessica into the strong yet vulnerable woman she was, but it also held the key to winning the men she loved. 
Thinking Deep Thoughts  The internal monologue, in which a character is thinking about something, is another handy way to divulge back story. This is another one of those situations in which you don't want to get too heavy-handed, though. Internal monologues run the risk of slowing the story down and boring the reader. Keep it to enticing little bits and pieces. 
In Alien Salvation, dissension is a major problem for Dramok Bacoj's clan. I let the reader know there's a long-standing issue through one thought Bacoj has, rather than going on and on about it: 
Japohn ran his hand over the hull. "The whole skin is crumpled. It's my fault. We should have taken the long way and avoided the portal like you wanted." Yes we should have, Japohn. But we always have to do things your way, don't we? Bacoj bit back the angry words. 
This problem will be dealt with eventually in the story, but this and a couple of other thoughts are all I required to set up the difficulty within Bacoj's clan. 
The Dreaded Info Dump  As much as I hate to go here, sometimes you have to step away from the main action and pile the back story on. Usually known as exposition, I call it the Dreaded Info Dump because this lump of information not only slows the tale, but it brings it to a halt. If not handled carefully, it can kill your story. 
In Alien Rule I had a ton of background that had to come out fairly quickly. Because I wanted this book to stand alone without readers having to be familiar with its predecessor Alien Embrace, I was forced to explain a lot. The following points had to be addressed almost right off the bat: 
1. How Jessica and Michaela came to be exiled on the planet Plasius with death sentences hanging over their heads. 2. Why the women were afraid to attract the men who could save them. 3. The fact that Michaela was an intersex human, something abhorred on Earth, and how she escaped the authorities' notice for eighteen years. 4. The background of the conflict between Earth and the planet Kalquor, along with Kalquor's desperate hunt for compatible female mates of other species. 
That's a lot of ground to cover. My solution was to mix the various modes of imparting back story. Some of it happened through dialogue. A little bit snuck in through internal monologue. Even a couple of mini-flashbacks were thrown in. But the majority of it showed up in the form of exposition, the longest stretch of which ran for eight extended paragraphs. Ouch. 
If you have to engage in the Dreaded Info Dump, make sure you bring out your best writing. Keep it engaging, keep it immediate, and keep it lively. Keep it as short as possible, the Eight-Paragraph Wonder says. Actually, I think I info-dumped even harder in Alien Embrace. I'm afraid to look to confirm that. But I did all in my power to keep the Dreaded Info Dumps from reading like middle school book reports. Think more along the lines of relaying enemy activity to your commanding officer. Quick, concise, to the point. Get in and out as soon as possible. 
Back story is a necessary evil. We have to go there. How you do it determines whether or not your readers will hang on for the slower stretches of the ride. So work hard to make the past every bit as engaging as the present. Then you can comfortably invite your readers, "Let's catch up, shall we?"

Monday Man Time

Doin' my own 'shades of grey' thing:




Sometimes the world looks better in black and white.