Alison Cooklin's Blog, page 2

Can we still enjoy Christmas, even when we don’t believe?

Last year, when my son was 9, he admitted that he didn’t believe in Father Christmas and the Christmas story anymore. The magic had disappeared and he felt empty and sad. So I explained to him why, at 45 years old, I still enjoy Christmas immensely. I am not a religious but I still find great meaning and wonderful intent in this festival. This year he is much more excited by Christmas and I hope he has regained his sense of wonder and magic in this season. Everyone’s experience of Christmas is different but the things that fill me with joy, personally, are the following things.

Gifts :

Many people bemoan the commercialism of Christmas. The insane amount of money spent that people can’t really afford. Bah Humbug. Well I think what is amazing is that for a few months before Christmas a huge number of people are thinking very hard about what they can buy family and friends, and are therefore putting an awful lot of energy into thinking about other people and what will give them pleasure. That is surely a good thing. And yes a lot of money is ‘frittered away’ but as long as you do not put yourself into excessive debt, it is actually a really important boost to the economy which ultimately benefits us all. And charities do very well in this season of generosity too.

Giving and receiving gifts is obviously a pleasure. It is also a great lesson: kids very naturally are good at receiving and enjoying gifts, especially the younger children who, as we know, can find as much pleasure in a cardboard box and their imagination as an expensive toy. Adults often find more pleasure in giving and watching the recipient’s pleasure. But really we should all learn to enjoy both aspects: we think we enjoy the receiving but how often do we refuse an offer of help when we are busy preparing the Christmas lunch or clearing up all the discarded wrapping? We make our lives unnecessarily busy and we deny someone the pleasure of helping.

It is a good thing for children to learn the pleasure of giving: my daughter is particular good at finding a teddy to comfort you when you are sad, or making a picture to say ‘I love you’. Children do not need to buy gifts to be able to find ways of giving and it is a wonderful thing for them to experience too: the pleasure of giving and experiencing someone else’s pleasure at their act of kindness.

Christmas lights:

For those of us that live in the Northern Hemisphere, we are accustomed to darkness at Christmas time. We are creatures of light however and there is nothing more uplifting on a dark, cold evening than to see the house and garden twinkling with lights. Some of us restrict the lights to the Christmas tree, some smother their houses and gardens with a blaze of dancing lights and inflatable Santas. We all find our own ways to enjoy lights at Christmas time. This is the joy of darkness: it shows us the pleasure of finding light, and without the darkness we would miss the best light display of all which are the stars in the winter night sky. So for those who find the darkness hard to bear, enjoy all the wonderful sources of light that you can find: dazzling shop displays, firelight, decorations, stars in the sky and, whenever it shows itself, the heart-warming rays of winter sunshine.

 

Food:

 

Now there is definitely a tendency to gorge on goodies over the Christmas period (and often a long time before, due to the abundance of Christmas products in supermarkets from September onwards). Initially this is a pleasure but it can become just a habit over time or even a cause of discomfort and excess weight. However, from a child’s perspective I don’t think they ever tire of food treats! As an adult I abandon the idea of healthy living for a month and instead look forward to opening my advent calendar each morning for a delicious and indulgent piece of chocolate. I think everyone in the world should spend a month giving themselves a little treat of something, whether food or anything else. It is a great way to start the day and we all deserve a little of something we like (the key thing here is that it is a’ little something ‘with no guilt attached and not too much of it!).

Christmas lunch in the modern world has changed greatly. No longer is turkey the only option. Vegans and vegetarians have their own special lunches, as do other cultures. What you eat does not matter in the slightest, as long as it is something that you can relish and feel comfortable with afterwards. As we all know, indigestion from over-eating does diminish the pleasure somewhat!

Love

This is the richest and most satisfying part of Christmas. Some of us are very fortunate to be able to surround ourselves with family and friends that we love. To give and receive love at this time is so easy. But of course for many they spend a lonely Christmas, or live in circumstances where there is no love felt by those they live with. Love must be very much missed at a time when others draw their loved ones close. But love is available for us all: if you can start with yourself. Accept yourself and love yourself for who you are, not what you think you should be. Know that you are worthy of love, just like anyone else. When you can find self-love, you will be able to give love. It is like a magnet and once you start giving love it will come back to you ten-fold. It may not be love from a fellow human even. If you can look out of your window and find something to love, be it a tree, a pet, a gorgeous sunrise or a favourite book. Anything. Once you begin you will be overwhelmed by how many things or people you can find to love and appreciate. Giving always ends in receiving. Some of us believe in the world of spirit, angels and God and know that we are always held in a powerful love that forgives all. Whatever your beliefs may be, I know that you are never alone and that you are always loved.

 

Have a very merry, light-and-love-filled Christmas everyone, and a very Happy New Year!

About the Author

Alison Cooklin was born in 1971 in Colchester, Essex. After graduating in Modern Arabic Studies at Leeds University she spent the next eight years working for an Arabic speaking television station, which gave her the opportunity to discover the Middle East, its people and their cultures. Her visit to Morocco provided the inspiration for the setting of her second book in the Light Travellers series, ‘Noura’s Journey’, where the heroine Noura faces a long and bewildering journey across the Sahara desert.

Alison then began a new career as a belly dance teacher and performer ( www.bellycise.com). It satisfied her creative energies for a while but the need to write became too strong and whilst her children were very small she began forming her ideas for the series of books that would become the Light Travellers series. Finally in 2015 her children’s novel ‘The Light Travellers: Luke’s Journey’ was published.

The author currently lives in Suffolk, UK with her husband and two children.