Jennifer Apodaca's Blog, page 44

A Story of Enduring Love

I wanted to share a story. Before Wizard and I got married, we were required by his church to go through their version of pre-martial counseling. What that turned out to be was several evenings with an older, and presumably successfully married, couple.

We were assigned a couple named Bill and Maureen.

At the time I was barely 20 and Wizard was 28. We knew everything already, of course. But we respectfully humored our “elders.” Over six weeks, Bill and Maureen graciously hosted us in their home and led us in discussions. They taught that a successful marriage was built on The Three C’s, which were communicate, communicate, communicate.

Wizard and I “graduated,” and while we truly liked them and found them quite interesting, we didn’t think we really needed any guidance. And yet, those “lessons” stuck with us over decades of our marriage. No matter how good or bad things got, we always remembered The Three C’s. We also kept in touch with Bill and Maureen, occassionally visiting them. Every year we’d get a Christmas card from them with updates about whatever adventure they’d had that year. They had a largish family, traveled when they could and seemed genuine in every way possible.

As each year passed, Wizard and I came to respect their advice, and appreciate their efforts with us, all the more. Without even realizing it, we were trying to follow their example.

Then the day before our anniversary this last weekend, we were both sitting in the garage on a break when I got a phone call. It was Bill and Maureen’s daughter sharing with us that her parents had passed away. I told their daughter how much of an impact they’d had on our lives, and she told me something truly startling: After 65 years of marriage, one of her parents passed, and one day later, the other passed. They hadn’t been sick at all.

And now they are together in eternity.

So when Wizard and I went to dinner to celebrate our anniversary, our waiter asked us the secret to a long marriage. Wizard and I looked at one another and answered, “Communicate, communicate, communicate.”

Then we raised our water glasses in a toast of gratitude to Bill and Maureen.

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Weekend Roundup

I’m mostly happy about the time change, and super sorry for those who hate it Maggie is not as happy when she thinks her dinner is “late.” She does not believe in excuses like a time change. But we did an awesome marathon walk in the morning so she can deal with the “late” dinner.

The weekend was mixed. Our brother in law isn’t well right now and that’s a worry, though we do think he’ll be okay once the doctors find the right mix of treatment. And Turbo’s family is striving to become germ free, but man, they have had a battle. Turbo’s four and a half and in preschool, so this is totally normal but not fun. Still I think they are almost well and are planning to come out here next weekend! We video called with him yesterday and he’d had enough energy to run a marathon. Kids are amazing!

Yesterday was our 40 year anniversary. We went to a really nice dinner last night (I hope, I’m writing this before we go to dinner, but I expect it will be great). This year we are tentatively planning two trips as our celebration, but not locked in yet. We’re pretty focused on, and enjoying, doing on the house but we also really want to take some trips. We’ll see if life cooperates or we’ll adjust our plans.

Speaking of the house, I ordered two chairs, and hoping I made the right call because they are white. That’s crazy, right? I mean I got dark couches so I wouldn’t have to worry as much about wear, dog hair and dirt But…obviously Crazy Jen got out of the locked closet and placed the order.

So these are my practical dark gray couches. (Ignore the arm of the old blue couch  in the front of the picture, those were given away to one of the construction workers.

And these are the 2 chairs I ordered that probably won’t come until after Thanksgiving:

I think will balance out the dark gray, and pull from the kitchen cabinets and granite. Plus we’ll use the couches more, and Maggie won’t be allowed on the chairs (Famous. Last. Words!). So maybe I’m not crazy?

It’ll be a LONG time before I can afford different tables, but I’m so happy that we will have plenty of seating. The chairs swivel which means they can turn to see the TV, and they recline. This week we are for sure, maybe, probably committing to getting the various retaining walls in the front, side and back, plus a lot of cement work.

So that was my long post about the weekend, now I’d love to hear about your weekend!

The post Weekend Roundup first appeared on Jennifer Lyon.

Friday Five

TGIF! It’s time to share five random things about our week. Here’s mine:

Time is racing by and we’re already into the Holiday Season. Crazy! I’m not ready! That said, we are having Thanksgiving here. I already have RSVPs from the kids with dishes they are bringing, so that makes it so much easier. So I’m not really behind.Tuesday I found a frozen turkey at my regular store that was more than $50.00. Holy Sticker Shock, Batman! Then I went to Walmart to buy Maggie a new dog bed (she loves it!) and found the same size turkey for $27.00. SCORE! And it fits in my oven! I think it’ll be fun to have T-Day here as long as I keep insane Jen locked in the closet. Insane Jen will try to get all the furniture and wall hangings bought and placed and create a stupid impossible amount of pointless pressure. So she’s locked up tight and not getting out.I had my followup visit, at which point I found out they GI practice is closing. Insert eye roll here. But what I know is this so far: My ulcers are only from the meds that I’ve stopped taking. I don’t need to worry that other foods or drinks are causing them. I can adjust my diet to whatever makes me comfortable. Those are two good pieces of news. The other news (nothing bad) is that one, while the diet did help some of the occasional nausea, it did nothing to help the on and off again pain on my right side. Pain like that is so weird it could be anything and is likely nothing significant or worrisome. But I agreed to a CT scan to check out a couple more things. In the meantime, I’m watching my diet and taking some meds to help and we’ll see. Let me just say though, I have a diagnosis of a redundant and torturous colon, but honestly I think the medical system is MORE redundant and torturous. I just want someone to say, stop eating this food, take this vitamin and go live your life.  Wouldn’t it be great if life were that easy?I have to brag. Wizard hung the cabinets he built for the garage with only my help!! I did it! Mostly because Wizard used a slide in bracket system that just required the two of us to lift the cabinet and slide it up and onto the bracket where it locks into place. I’ve helped him move, lift and saw quite a few parts. It’s amazing what the two of us can do if we think it through first. But if I’d had to try and hold those cabinets that high while he drilled and screwed them in, I doubt I could have done it.We have a plan to see Turbo tomorrow, but I’m skeptical it will happen. Oldest is working on kicking the cold, and there’s just a swirl of stuff happening. So I’m in wait and see mode. Today I’m dragging Wizard out (or will go by myself) to look at chairs (this isn’t Insane Jen, this is part-of-the-plan- budget-Jen ). Well that’s assuming if all the relatives are doing okay. They are more important than a chair or table.

That’s my five, now I’d love to hear yours! I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend!

The post Friday Five first appeared on Jennifer Lyon.

Wednesday Chatter

We got two sets of kids on Halloween We sat outside and met some neighbors, so I call that a win. There’s a lot of dogs in the neighborhood too which is really cool. Maggie loved sitting by us and watching all the kids and dogs. Maggie seems very happy here, and she loves being in the garage any time we bring her out. When we don’t, she gives us her sad eyes. This is her on a sit/stay living the dream.

See that look on her face? She’s scenting the air while feeling the sun. Behind Maggie are all the cut and painted pieces for two cabinets that will go over the workbench. They are now assembled and ready to hang. Wizard is working on the workbench, and once that’s up, he’ll get a stronger person than me to help hang them It’s slow progress but he’s enjoying it most of the time.

And here’s some pics of the small back yard.

 

This is our covered patio (it’s a bit bigger than it looks here) to the backyard.

This is from the far counter of the yard (I’m up on a small hill) to the backside of side of the house. The patio cover and the room attached to it our the additions to the house we had done. We love them both. At the very end is the sun room/ dining room. So outside there I either want a lot of plants, or plants and a small sitting area.

These are before pics. Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll have after pics. We’re working on estimates and adjusting and refining our ideas as we get more info and professional advice. Because the house next to us is a pretty high elevation, the house on the other side lower, and we’re surrounded by hills, it all needs to be done correctly with the right drainage. Our last house was terraced so this part we understand At least a small yard helps contain the cost! In the front, we are concentrating on the hardscape of concrete and any block walls, the rest will have to wait. I’m not going to overwhelm you with pics of that.

So what’s going on in your world today?

The post Wednesday Chatter first appeared on Jennifer Lyon.

Weekend Roundup

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! We have some candy to give out, but no clue if we will have any kids come to the door or not. We’ll see!

The weekend came and went as scheduled Saturday we didn’t go see Turbo because his dad had a mild cold that has worked its way through their family. I normally wouldn’t care, but I’ve recently adjust some meds to better protect my stomach, and don’t want to add any burdens to my immune system for a little while. So far, the adjustment has been easier than I expected.

Sunday we went to Biker Witch’s for awhile. Wizard and Youngest installed two fans with no trouble. Youngest daughter-in-law came too and she’s always fun. Maggie had a great time. So the text conversation the week prior with my sister went like this:

Biker Witch to me: “Hey are you coming with Wizard?

Me thinking my sister misses me. “Sure, I’ll come.

Biker Witch. “Are you brining Maggie?

Me growing suspicious. “I hadn’t thought about it, but I can if you want me to.”

“Bring her, we really want to see her.”

Me. “Um okay.” Thinking I’m sure you really want to see me too. You know, I’m your beloved baby sister! I’m sure my sister was thinking that but probably was too lazy to type it out on a text, right?

Then the night before Biker Witch texted. “Don’t forget to bring Maggie’s treats.”

Sigh, never mind. My sister only loves me for my dog. Who, by the way, thinks Biker Witch and Biker Hubby are awesome and she loves going there. So Maggie had a great weekend! But I’m fine, I mean my sister probably still loves me

This week we’re working on gathering and researching contractors to begin the process of getting quotes for the back and side yard. I’m preparing myself for a wicked case of Sticker Shock, which we all know is usually followed by the dream-killer known as Reality Check. It’s all good though. If we can’t afford one thing, we’ll do something else. There’s no rush.

So how was your weekend?

The post Weekend Roundup first appeared on Jennifer Lyon.

Friday Five

TGIF! Let’s get right into sharing five random things about our week. Here’s mine:

It’s been a quiet week that has involved a lot of me standing around waiting until Wizard needs me to help with his building the cabinets. It’s been, um, a much longer and challenging than anticipated. You know how it goes, everything that can go wrong does, but Wizard has adjusted the plan the best he can and will make it work. Overall, a quiet week isn’t a bad thing. Last week was almost too hard.We spent an hour or so measuring and drawing out the back yard so we can plan and start getting quotes. It’s a small slightly awkward space, so we want to make the best use of space while keeping it low maintenance. I think we have a good start in knowing what we want. The front is desert landscape, and something we want to change, but it may have to wait. We drew up some ideas and will begin talking to contractors in another week or two.I need to get estimates on the #2 in order to move forward inside the house. I’m trying to be patient but it’s starting to bug me. We aren’t even hanging pictures until I decided where I want our existing wall art and where I think we can afford new pieces. But I need to buy two chairs and some console tables, and that all circles back to budget which requires an idea what the outside retaining walls and landscape is going to cost.  LOLOL. All that said, at least we’re moved in and mostly settled, so these are not real problems by an stretch! We both love this house.I want to bake but I know I should wait until I have a clearer treatment plan (probably late next week). However…I might give in and do something today for fun and I just won’t eat it. Turbo did want some chocolate cookies, but I need to talk to his parents and see what they think about that since Monday is Halloween and there’s probably a lot of junk around — including the Halloween bag I’m taking him.This weekend, we hope to go see Turbo on Saturday, then we’re going by Biker Witch’s on Sunday so Wizard and Youngest Son can install a couple ceiling fans (they volunteered to do it cause they wanted too). I’m just tagging along to see my sister It doesn’t sound like a whole lot, but it’ll fill up the weekend.

See? It was a quiet, boring week. Oh I forgot to mention I started reading RESCUE MOON by Silver James and I’m enjoying it. So far what I love the most is the fast pacing that keeps me turning pages! So that’s my five plus a bonus on what I’m reading, now I’d love to hear yours. I hope everyone has a great weekend!

The post Friday Five first appeared on Jennifer Lyon.

Diet Revelations

The low fodmat diet is very restrictive, but yesterday I felt like a genius.

A couple days ago I made what was supposed to be a one serving size of quinoa. Right now, I can’t eat that much at once (it was a large service in my opinion), so I put half in the fridge. That night we had some roast beef and corn, so I added leftover corn. The next day I shredded the remaining beef for taco. I put a very small amount of leftover shredded beef. The following day we went grocery shopping and I had a little leftover raw zuccini. I add that to my bowl, heated it for a bit in the microwave, added low sodium soy sauce and I had a lunch bowl! All low fodmat! It didn’t taste bad either.

I felt like I’d won the lottery, LOLOL!

Sometimes it’s the little things in life. I know this diet is temporary, and it has help some of my stomach issues. I’ve also learned something interesting: I thought not being able to eat bread would be the hardest.

Nope, it’s not eating pears and apples and broccoli that bugs me the most. I’m finding out I can eat grapes though, and that’s surprising. I’ve actively avoided them thinking they were part of the problem.

It’s good to learn new things about ourselves! Now what I’d love to learn is when I’ll have the time, energy and drive to write again   Sadly I don’t think this diet has the answer to that question.

How about you? Have you learned anything new about yourself recently?

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Weekend Roundup (The Rambling Version!)

It was a beautiful weekend weather-wise! Saturday was cloudy and sunny, with a chance of rain that never happened here. Sunday was mostly sunshine with clouds and about 70 degrees. The best weather ever!

Here’s a pic from Maggie and I hiking up the dirt road behind our house.

Horses! I actually know very little about horses. They were grazing when we walked by and walked a bit closer to see or smell us. Maggie and I didn’t stay too long, I don’t want to stress them. As I said, I don’t really know enough to read their body language and be able to judge if we were bothering them or they were simply curious. This is the second time Maggie has seen them. The first time she was very curious and mildly concerned. This time, she looked and then kept going. It’s good exposure for her.

On Saturday, Wizard and I were finishing breakfast when youngest called and asked if Wizard needed his help. He came over a few hours to help cut out more wood. Wizard was happy, and so was Maggie Fun fact about Maggie, I’ve had her out in the garage with us a couple times while Wizard used the table saw and circular saw. They don’t bother her at all. But the cellphones make her anxious. The dog is, well let’s just call it quirky.

Sunday I ran over to youngest’s for a while to see him, his wife and Phoebe. Very fun! Phoebe is hilarious, when I slow down petting her and talk to her mom and dad, she groans or sits up and puts her face in mine to remind me of my duty as a doggy grandma.

Did I show you guys my daughter-in-law’s housewarming gift?

She’s a witch for Halloween! She cackles and talks, and I love her! My daughter-in-law brought it over the day we were moving in, which is why there are stacked empty boxes and a huge bag of trash behind her in the shot. Now she’s outside entertaining everyone who comes to the door. One of the delivery guys even asked to take a picture of her, LOL!

In case you’re wondering, the witch cackling and talking only made Maggie curious enough to check her out but not anxious. She just hates cellphones. We’re pretty sure she’s in witness protection, it’s the only logical explanation of why she hates cellphones and refuses to have her picture taken.

Let’s see, otherwise it was just a weekend filled with normal weekend stuff. There’s so much to do, and definitely not enough budget for everything, but it’s all good because we’re in the house and don’t have to worry about all the things that got us here! Being busy now feels like we’re living our lives not waiting around for the next phase of life to begin.

So that was my weekend, how was yours?

The post Weekend Roundup (The Rambling Version!) first appeared on Jennifer Lyon.

Friday Five

TGIF! I am sooo glad it’s Friday. So lets dive right into our five. I’ll start

Our couches came a day late due to a snafu, but they waived the “set up” fee which is nice of them so we’re happy. They are big and dark but we really like them so far.We also got the blinds which is a relief. We are happy with all but one, which has an issue that hadn’t occurred to us. We agreed to two blinds on one rail since the window is so big. What we didn’t think about was that there’d be cords in the center where the blinds meet. We are probably just going to live with it. Especially since we can leave a space between the couch and window wall to access the cord easily. But we wish that the issue had been pointed out to us. It’s a small thing, I know. Otherwise we are loving having window coverings!I went to the dentist Wednesday and it was a newish dentist there. I’m on the fence about this one and it’s hard when you really like every other person there. I’m thinking we’ll wait and see.I got the two scopes done Thursdays. The prep was brutal, but I thought I was okay when we left the house to go to the surgery center. I made it there, got in the back to be prepped for the procedures when nausea hit. It was not fun for anyone, but the team of people there were utterly amazing and helped me so much. For as miserable as I was, they made it as easy as possible from start to finish. And the good news is that I think we got some really good information, with more information coming. One issue is a couple small ulcers on my stomach, but they are “surface” so not deep and I’m sure we can manage those. The other one is something I was born with and might be TMI for some people, LOL. Given the way I’ve been feeling for a while now, I see all this as helpful news. I don’t expect instant solutions, just a path to managing it.We are having more freeway shut downs for repairs and improvements in our area so we’ll be staying close to home again. We have plenty to do so that’s fine. And since I can’t see Turbo (my grandson),  I am hoping to drop by Youngest’s if they are around and play with Phoebe (one of my granddog).

So that’s my rather quick five, now I’d love to hear yours! I feel better as I’m writing this Thursday night, but I’m a bit sore (fully expected) and ready to sit on the new couch and do nothing but pet Maggie for an hour. I hope all of you have a fun and safe weekend!

The post Friday Five first appeared on Jennifer Lyon.

The Power of Story (my opinion!)

The audiobook I’m listening too had a major curveball that was interesting. The female murder victim turned out to be transgender which very few people knew. That twist came during the trial, and could provide the missing motive to why her boyfriend could have murdered her in the book’s plot. That’s all fine and didn’t bother me.

What does bug me is when the character exposition turned into blatant lecturing. I’m not even sensitive on these topics. If I don’t like something, I just move onto something else. There’s plenty of choices out there. But this twist worked for me in this story since it upped the stakes, and the author had laid down some clues that suddenly made sense. But I got jerked hard out of the story by the blatant lecturing in the murder victims exposition (the timeline switches between the present and the past, and that parts skillfully done). It makes me sad. Sometimes as authors, we forget the story itself is powerful enough, and we are actually weaking the power of the story when we insert our own voice, beliefs and or agendas. Let the characters tell their story and trust their story is enough.

Then step off and let readers choose if they want to go along for the story’s ride or not. Some will, some won’t. That’s how it works. And that’s how it should work in my view. Readers get to choose what they want to read. But if we write a powerful enough story without that lecturing, maybe we will give our characters a chance to add something to the conversation of life, and give readers an opportunity to see something from another point of view. It’s happened to me many times.

For sure, the method in this book doesn’t work for me. It seriously irritates me.

I’m finishing the story because I’m still hooked by the story question of did the well like, nice guy high school hocky star kill his girlfriend or not? Plus the author is developing interesting characters and her writing is engaging except for this one thing that slips through in the exposition/lecturing.

A couple decades ago, I was reading a fiction and was too far in when I realized it involved showing the opposite side of something I believed. By then I was hooked and devoured the entire book. There was no lecturing. Rather, this was a powerful story that helped me see that issue in a broader way. I don’t remember the title, but I’ve remembered the story and the two main characters for more than two decades.  That’s pretty danged impressive. That fictional book had an impact on my views and has stayed with me for a very long time. It didn’t necessarily change my opinion but it’s helped me understand how the issue affects all people, not just me.

That’s powerful. And yet not once did the author disguised as the character lecture. She was living her life in the timeline of that book, and I was experiencing it with her. For those few hours, it felt like I had a friend who lived a different life than mine, and I was learning from her without even realizing it.

That is the power of story! Let’s keep our author voice’s out of it and let the characters’ voices do their job!

Happy Wednesday!

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