Philippa Moore's Blog, page 3

Katharine Susannah Prichard Writers' Centre 2023 Fellowships announced

I am beyond thrilled to let you know that I am a Katharine Susannah Prichard Writers’ Centre Fellow for 2023!

The Centre announced the Fellowship recipients earlier this week:

This annual fellowship program provides placements for dedicated aspiring, emerging and established writers looking to develop a writing proiect. These successful applicants will have the time and space to work in an inspirational environment with special access to Katharine's Cottage, where celebrated novelist Katharine Susannah Prichard wrote most of her works. While in residence at KSP, these fellows also have access to an active community of peers through our many writing groups and workshops.

This means at some point next year I will have two weeks of immersive and focused writing time at this beautiful-looking centre in the outskirts of Perth, Western Australia, where I will be working on my PhD novel. Hopefully by then I will be well and truly on a third draft…maybe a fourth.

At the start of the year I vowed that 2022 would not be another year that I lost to imposter syndrome, which means I’ve put my hat in the ring for many things like this, things I might have been scared off applying for in previous years. Not all of them have come off but that wasn’t the point - the point was to try. That was the deal I made with myself. Just try - no expectations or cherished outcomes beyond that. The lesson Liz Gilbert taught me four years ago seems to have finally sunk in.

To say I can’t wait for 2023 now would be an understatement! Getting this news has been utterly wondrous and spirit-lifting. The day I got the email, I kept checking it to make sure I hadn’t misread it! It’s amazing what can happen when you get out of your own way and just try.

Thank you so much KSP - see you next year!

got thoughts on this? message me

the last two weeks

The usual excuses, my friends! I seem to have blinked and it’s another Friday. And how is it October tomorrow?! I promise I will get back to more regular posting soon. I have two weeks to catch you up on, though there hasn’t been anything too exciting to report. Except…

Favourite experience of the last two weeks

The birth of and meeting my new nephew. Holding him, stroking his silky cheeks and downy head, marvelling at his tiny ears and fingers with those miraculous little specks of nail on them, watching his eyes flutter open and look at me. He is beautiful. I can’t wait to get to know him.

Reading

While it feels like I’ve been working non-stop (and I have!), I’ve also been reading a lot. My brain feels like it’s had some hearty meals.

I read Blueberries by Ellena Savage which I thought was excellent - so inventive, clever and affecting. I watched quite a bit of Parks and Recreation while I was reading it so somehow found myself reading this book in the voice of April Ludgate as it’s quite dry and cynical in its humour (I thought), which added to my enjoyment (though some parts of it, the first essay in particular, are not funny at all). At the same time, it’s so poetic and fragmented, and really pushes your perceptions on what you expect to find when you pick up a memoir. In fact, I started the book halfway through, because I opened the book at random and was so intrigued by what I saw, I read from there, and then went back to the beginning…which added to the slight disorientation, never quite knowing what to expect. What does it mean to write about yourself, your body, your traumas, the way you live in the world? These are questions which, on reflection, I’d like to have grappled with in a more intellectual way in my past work. The toothpaste is already out of the tube in that regard but these questions still really interest me and I love seeing how other writers play around with them. Savage is really clever and creative in how she straddles self-enquiry and enquiry about the world at large. I really loved it!

I also read Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder which I devoured in mere days. I was intrigued by a mention of it in one of Jen Campell’s videos and thought I’d check it out at the library. All I have to say is WOW. It’s a very clever and utterly surreal novel that has an element of fairytale about it (which are, after all, incredibly dark stories). It’s about an exhausted, rage-filled mother of a young child who starts turning into a dog. As in…she is literally turning into a dog. She starts growing fur, prowling the neighbourhood at night, killing small prey, and eating a lot of meat. Even her child gets in on the act! It was quite a trip to read this on Day 1 and 2 of my cycle, I have to say! Of course, it is an extended metaphor and a very, very clever one. I think every woman, mother or not, can relate to that rage that is so deep it’s in your bones at the sacrifices and behaviours that are expected of us, with or without children. Fabulous. Highly recommended!

I also started reading A.S Byatt’s latest short story collection Medusa’s Ankles which I’ve been dipping in and out of - again, very surreal fiction set in a recognisable world.

The Guardian: I enjoyed this piece on Lena Dunham, this one on writing the story of Australian history, this one on how more doctors are writing about the harsh reality of practicing medicine in this country but I particularly loved this one by writer Sarah Moss, who wrote about buying herself a small gift when at a low personal ebb:

Maybe we’re allowed to find small joys, in proportion to our situations, on a burning planet with the ancestors howling in our ears.

I was gutted to read of the death of Hilary Mantel, whose command of and passion for the craft of historical writing has had such an impact on my own work these past few years. I highly recommend all of her Reith Lectures which make for fascinating and compelling listening, in one of which she says:

You don’t become a novelist to become a spinner of entertaining lies: you become a novelist so you can tell the truth.

What an incredible human and writer she was, and what a legacy she leaves.

Sydney Review of Books: Hypocrisy, bruh! which introduced me to another (previously unknown to me) literary controversy surrounding a book I will probably never read but the real-life drama was very intriguing!

The Audacity: Not Your Gilmore Girl: A Meditation

LitHub: How dealing in facts helps fiction writers hone their craft

Listening to

Wellness Unpacked with Ella Mills: Manifesting, creating your dream life and adaptogenic mushrooms and How to lead a more fulfilled life, let go of perfection and the power of a daily gratitude practice - both very good episodes but particularly enjoyed the latter one. I should have liked to have known Sarah when I lived in the UK, I think we would have had a lot to talk about!

The Atlantic: How To Build A Happy Life: How to forgive ourselves for what we can’t change - a new to me podcast and I really enjoyed this episode.

BeWILDered: Elizabeth Gilbert gets Bewildered! Loved this one, it’s fascinating to hear what Liz has been up to and how much I relate to a lot of what she says!

The First Time: Masters Series: Sophie Cunningham - a very enjoyable window into the craft and work of a writer I have always been curious about but whose work I don’t know well. Maybe the time has come for a deep dive?

Eating (and cooking)

So many delicious things.

Creamy pumpkin risotto, pictured - absolutely scrumptious.

I made Deliciously Ella’s spiced cauliflower and cashew pilaf traybake, which was utterly divine. It’s a recipe from her new book, which I haven’t got yet - I got this recipe emailed as part of her newsletter (but I found a link online for it for you). I’ll definitely be getting the book, as hers are some of the ones I cook from the most often (and if you know me, and how many cookbooks I have, that’s saying something!).

Fennel, walnut and sun-dried tomato pappardelle from Special Guest by Annabel Crabb and Wendy Sharpe, a book on whose brilliance and delicious recipes I have waxed lyrical several times before. This is my favourite recipe from that book and one I love to make when fennel is cheap and plentiful.

Yellow split pea dhal with loads of greens from the garden and chilli - I wanted to use up a huge bag of yellow split peas that I bought during the national lockdown of 2020 when red lentils were nowhere to be seen. This cook-up helped me stock the freezer and the dhal was so nourishing and warming.

Speaking of a cook-up, I made Jamie Oliver’s pasta e ceci soup and a loaf of bread for my sister and her family for when they brought the new baby home from the hospital. I’m planning on making a vat of that soup for us too, as the sample I tasted for seasoning was very delicious indeed!

Vegan sausage rolls to watch the Grand Final with….which we ended up not watching much of at all! Sob!

We cheered ourselves up with nachos for dinner, which were heavenly as always. I used womb cabbage instead of lettuce for a winter variation and we didn’t have any avocado in, but oddly that seemed not to matter - in fact, Tom told me he preferred it without.

I’ve also discovered Biscoff spread which is somehow vegan (how?!) and has proved to be very dangerous indeed. I made a version of peanut butter cups with it (with Biscoff instead of peanut butter, obviously) all of which disappeared far too quickly. I also made a vegan chocolate cake for a celebration and put dollops of the spread in the middle of the batter before baking. It was unbelievably good.

Vegan banana bread also made. It’s compulsory when there are spotty bananas in the fruit bowl, am I right?

Watching

We finished the whole series of Parks and Recreation for perhaps the second time this year. One of my favourites!

We finally watched the film Citizen Kane which in all honesty I had never seen - and I was astonished at how many Simpsons jokes and homages I suddenly understood, after all this time. Ahead of its time - absolutely. The greatest film ever made, as so many have claimed it to be? Not in my opinion. But worth watching all the same.

We also finished The Thick of It series which made me almost yearn for my former British workplaces in a very, very weird way. Though I don’t think I’ll ever yearn for the one that had its office inside Paddington station.

We’ve just started watching The Newsreader, which is on ABC iview here and I believe is also on BBC iPlayer in the UK. It’s just brilliant. If you liked Morning Wars (which is what it’s called here, because we have a show called The Morning Show, which is what it’s called everywhere else), you will love this - I think it’s even better, in many respects. We’re two episodes in and I’m already hooked. The series is set in Australia in 1986 and there’s something quite surreal about watching something set in a place and time when you were a young child and realising how much of it you remember.

Picking

Rainbow chard, silverbeet, cavolo nero. I also picked a big bunch of celery for my dad. In the garden itself I planted some broad beans and marked out a spot for my potatoes. Soon it will be time for spring planting!

Moving

I’ve felt like doing a lot of yoga this week - I really love Jessica Richburg’s channel on Youtube. She has a lot of lovely gentle practices. I don’t know if it’s a coincidence but ending my work day with some gentle yin yoga has also coincided with me sleeping better than usual. So I’ll be curious to keep that practice up!

Noticing

Magnolias in full bloom, everywhere. How the air when you go outside at night is fragrant with jasmine and wattle flowers. How alive everything suddenly looks and feels after a long winter. And yet, the minute you change your bedsheets back to the spring and summer ones, the nights suddenly dip back to a freezing two degrees!

Quote of the week

It had to be Hilary, of course. There were so many I could have picked but this one felt apt:

“The things you think are the disasters in your life are not the disasters really. Almost anything can be turned around: out of every ditch, a path, if you can only see it.” - Hilary Mantel

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Wishing you all a happy and safe weekend, filled with enjoyable things xx

message me

this (last) week

Winter greens still going strong…

As I’m writing this on a Monday, it should be called Last Week! I’ve settled for the title above, as you see. I hope to get back to my regularly scheduled posting soon. Things have been a little crazy but I’m not complaining.

We’re currently waiting for a new nephew to be born - today is his due date - and very excited at the prospect of baby cuddles again! Wriggly toddler cuddles are, of course, great too but there’s something so special about cradling a brand new human in your arms. Expect that to be my “favourite experience of the week” in an upcoming post!

Favourite experience/s of the week

Finding out I was successful in my application for a 2023 Residential Fellowship at the Katharine Susannah Prichard Centre in Western Australia! Next year I’ll be working on my novel there for two weeks. To say I’m EXCITED and THRILLED and HONOURED would be an understatement!! More details to come on this soon.

A quieter but no less gratifying achievement was looking back through my journal volume before last - written in April sometime, I think - and seeing a list of four things I wanted to do this year, in terms of my writing, career and PhD progress. As of yesterday, I’ve done all four. I’m very, very chuffed. I’ll write more about this at some point because there have been some pretty seismic shifts for me of late, but all four goals were only to do with my output. There weren’t to do with anything happening beyond putting my hat in the ring, or reaching a certain milestone. Surprise surprise, these things are achievable with enough discipline. And achieving them has given me confidence to set my sights higher.

And, far out, the lifestyle gurus and self-made millionaires might be on to something - writing your goals down is pretty bloody powerful.

Reading

Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory by Sarah Polley - I read this at Tom’s insistence, as he thought I would get a great deal out of it. What can I say, he knows me!

I only knew Sarah Polley from her work on the Ramona TV series I watched and enjoyed as a child. I remember wanting to be an actor myself quite desperately as a child and lamenting that we lived in a part of the country where as far as I was aware there was no, or rarely any, call for child actors. I would read about stars of TV shows I watched avidly, children my age or a bit older, and about how the entire family was moved to Sydney or Melbourne for their career. I occasionally wondered why my parents hadn’t done the same - I had, after all, wowed audiences with my performance in The Emperor’s New Clothes. Having read Sarah Polley’s memoir, I am so deeply grateful my parents just let me be a kid and perform at school or in the backyard with my sisters!

Polley’s experiences are quite heartbreaking to read - how she was exploited and vulnerable for most of her early career, pushed to her physical limits, struggling with the tragic death of her mother when she was only 11, and how most of the adults around her, including directors, producers and her own parents, failed to protect her from, as she puts it, an industry that was built on exploitation. She writes with such fierce intelligence, and with the benefit of both hindsight and now being a parent herself, about these difficult years and experiences, creating a dialogue between the past and the present:

These are the most dangerous stories of my life. The ones I have avoided, the ones I haven't told, the ones that have kept me awake on countless nights. As these stories found echoes in my adult life, and then went another, better way than they did in childhood, they became lighter and easier to carry.

I think that’s what I found so admirable about the book - that Polley unpacks these painful “dangerous” stories in the present, advocating for her younger self and giving her the voice she didn’t have at the time. Polley doesn’t vilify (all of) the people who should have known better or protected her; she even questions and acknowledges the fallibility of her own memory at times. A side effect of trauma, after all, is selective memory as a form of self protection. But it is in the aftermath of a serious concussion that Polley, as she struggles to recover, is urged not to lie in dark rooms and succumb to her symptoms. Rather, in order to recover, she needed to “run towards the danger”. She would only regain strength by pushing through and doing things that were painful. It worked, and so Polley applied the same philosophy to other traumas in her life. The result is a beautifully written, moving meditation on memory, resilience, vulnerability, strength, and coming to terms with painful things. Highly recommended!

I also finished an ARC of Free to Go: Across the World on a Motorbike by Esa Aldegheri, which is out in the UK now and is being published in Australia in November. It’s a very cleverly written travel memoir that, a bit like Sarah Polley’s book, sets up a dialogue between the past and present. Trapped in lockdown in Scotland in 2020, Aldegheri finds herself homeschooling three children and lamenting her lost freedom, not just related to the pandemic but due to Brexit and the rising xenophobia associated with it. She remembers a wild, freeing adventure she and her now husband took some years earlier, riding a motorbike from Italy to New Zealand - a motorbike she was the primary rider of. Aldegheri ponders the idea that women are expected to ride in the sidecar of a motorbike (referred to as riding pillion) as well as in the sidecar of life; their desires and dreams often being secondary, especially once motherhood enters the equation. The book switches back and forth from the exhilaration of the open road, travelling through remote Central Asia, India, China and then Australia; to the mundane, stultifying reality of pandemic living. Though, Aldegheri wonders, how free was she in the first place - as a woman, a mother, a European who has made her life in a country that has left the European Union? Even on her incredible adventure, before marriage and children, there were still constraints and borders that were hard to cross. How do you navigate the world, literally and metaphorically, as a free-spirited woman? As you can imagine, I related hard to a lot of Aldegheri’s observations!

Listening to

The usual writing playlists - I have grown particularly attached to an old Nils Frahm favourite, Corn. I vividly remember standing on a platform at Moorgate station back in the day, waiting for a delayed train, and having it on repeat. I couldn’t find it on streaming for years and was delighted to rediscover it a few weeks ago.

I am also halfway through this amazing episode of Between the Covers: there is honestly so much to unpack here. I have long been a fan of “The Hero’s Journey” both as a narrative device and as a spiritual philosophy, but I had never appreciated how rooted in colonialism (and conquering) it is. This is a fascinating conversation and I am excited to write more of my thoughts about the “Carrier Bag Theory of Fiction” because I think it definitely applies to the novel I’m writing at the moment.

Favourite Friday Night Fodder!

Eating

I’ve got to start taking pictures of every meal again - it’s a very reliable memory jog!

Monday: Chilli made with black beans, kidney beans, leftover mushroom and walnut ragu and leftover homemade salsa, served with brown rice, coconut yoghurt and pickled jalapeños

Tuesday: Pasta with sunflower seed pesto

Wednesday: Roasted tofu, carrot and pumpkin with satay sauce and rice

Thursday: Both of us worked late, so it was DUMPLINGS (ready in 10 minutes)

Friday: Beetroot quinoa burgers (I loosely used a Deliciously Ella recipe - I subbed the quinoa for leftover brown rice) and homemade vegan mayo with fresh basil - OMG both were amazing! The mayo is keeping well.

Saturday: Sweet potato mac and cheese

Sunday: Leftover sweet potato Mac and cheese, turned into a bake (with breadcrumbs and cheese on top), with cavolo nero on the side

I made a delicious homemade dipping sauce for the dumplings on Thursday based on the OTK bang bang noodles sauce recipe, which is equal parts tahini, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar and a splash of maple syrup. There was plenty leftover so we’ll use that for a stir fry noodle dish this week.

I also made Deliciously Ella’s nut butter chocolate chip cookies - well, my version thereof! Added a few extra bits and pieces, and they were divine. We had no self control around them, the whole batch was gone by Saturday!

Watching

Thor: Love and Thunder (4K Blu Ray) - I’ve never been disappointed by a Taika Waititi film (or by anything involving him, his TED talk is hilarious!) and this one was no exception. You know you’re in for a wacky, laughter-filled ride. Thor Ragnarok is one of our favourite Marvels, and we wondered how on earth Taika would top that - the answer is with Thor (Chris Hemsworth) seeking inner peace; his ex Jane (Natalie Portman) coming back into his life in a very powerful form but hiding a painful secret of her own; a disappointing meeting with Zeus (Russell Crowe), “never meet your heroes",” Thor laments afterwards; a terrifying villain in Gorr the God Butcher (Christian Bale) whom you manage to feel a little empathy for; and some screaming goats who made Tom and I lose it every time they appeared. The soundtrack is awesome - it’s basically 80s and 90s rock, dominated by Guns N Roses - and it just manages to be both funny and moving at the same time, like most of Taika Waititi’s work. There’s some wonderful symbolism, I thought, about children being at the mercy of adults when it comes to real crises that are going to affect them in the future (climate change, for example) and it also sets up a sequel that has the potential to be equally hilarious!

Best Sellers (iTunes) - Tom and I synced up our in-flight TVs so we could watch this together on the plane to London four months ago, and we really enjoyed it, so we were keen to give it another watch in the comfort of our own home and without the need for subtitles! It was wonderful to see it again and absorb its quiet brilliance and admire the direction and acting. Ambitious young editor Lucy Standbridge (Aubrey Plaza) has inherited her father's publishing house, and things are not going well. Every book she publishes is universally panned by critics and book-tubers and the publishing house is on its last legs financially. She discovers she is owed a book by Harris Shaw (Michael Caine), an utterly cantankerous, alcoholic, reclusive author who originally put the company on the map decades earlier but hasn’t published a book (or been seen) since. Desperate to save the company, Lucy insists Harris honour his contract and release a new book; she makes no edits on the proviso that he comes with her on what turns out to be the book tour from hell. Very funny and touching, and genuinely surprising in places, I enjoy any movie about a writer, even a washed-up, booze-addled old curmudgeon like Harris, who is played brilliantly by Michael Caine.

The original blog banner from 2005…..

Grateful for

I just realised as I was writing that on this day in 2005 (SEVENTEEN years ago?!) that I published my first ever blog post. Seventeen years. I had only been alive for a bit longer than that at the time!

What seemed like a very small thing ended up being one of the most momentous things I’ve ever done. It changed the course of my life. Who knows where I would be right now without it. I am very grateful for that, and for everyone who has read and continued to read my work over the years, who continues to offer support and encouragement to this day. It is so very special to still hear from people who have been reading since the very beginning. You know who you are. I am so, so humbled that you’re still here. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Admittedly, I have had moments over the years where I deeply regretted starting that blog too - moments where I felt overexposed and attacked, frightened and vulnerable; when that world was very new and not very many people could relate to or understand some of the things I had to deal with. I’ve also sometimes wished that I had known how dangerous it can be to start a narrative about your body in public. But, as Sarah Polley said in an interview about her book, I’m very happy with my life as it is right now so it’s hard to feel regret about anything in the past. It’s also hard to regret the decision when, as I mentioned above, I still hear from lovely people all over the world who are still on the journey with me, people who have been some of my most generous friends and cheerleaders over the years. The good has far outweighed the not so good. There are things I’d do differently, with the benefit of hindsight, of course. But no regrets. Only gratitude.

Quote of the week

“You cannot use someone else’s fire: you can only use your own.” - Audre Lorde. The quote continues: “in order to do that, you must first be willing to believe you have it.”

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you find things to savour and ponder and that give you joy this coming week xx

message me

all the lives we live

Cooking with Theo Randall in London, 2013. Photo by Soolin Cottle.

Sometimes I look back at pictures of things I’ve done, people I’ve met, experiences I’ve had, and I have to pinch myself a little. I can’t quite get my head around it. Was that me? Did that really happen?

I’m stunned by all the lives we live. And stunned that there are more, undoubtedly, to come.

this week and last week

Has spring sprung? It’s still pretty bloody cold down here…

What can I say, things have been a bit crazy! Here we go…

Favourite experience/s of the past two weeks

It would have to be our 12th wedding anniversary, which was on the first day of September, and which, predictably, was freezing and a washout (we didn’t think when we got married in the UK’s late summer that one day we might move back to Australia!) so our plans for a romantic day out in the open air were shelved for another time. We stayed close to home instead - we had lunch out at a nice place that was only a short walk away and then went to the movies! The rain had finally stopped as we walked home at dusk, hand in hand, bundled up in our winter coats. Tom also surprised me with a bouquet of flowers the size of a small child, which were stunning and has lasted the best part of two weeks!

Last week was also the anniversary of our first date so Tom and I have also now been together for 15 years, over a third of our lives, which I find staggering in many respects. We’re still finding new things to get excited about, new adventures to plan, and we never tire of hearing each other’s stories or run out of things to say. It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. Perhaps it’s because of everything I went through before I met him, but I never take having a happy, solid marriage for granted. Even through the harder, darker times we’ve faced as a couple - things I know previous relationships would have well and truly crumbled under the pressure of - we are still standing and, despite everything this strange and relentless year has thrown at us, we are actually happier than ever. He truly is the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ve felt very lucky these past few weeks.

Reading

The last week of August/first week of September was all about getting my first draft to my supervisors so if I read anything that week, it was just my own words, over and over, wondering how I might ever entice some magic out of the mess that a first draft invariably is. But my primary supervisor kindly texted me a few days later saying she’d read it already (!) and enjoyed it, so I have been breathing a little easier since then!

But I finished Dessa’s book which I mentioned in the last this week, and I also started at Tom’s recommendation (insistence!) Run Towards the Danger: Confrontations with a Body of Memory by Sarah Polley. Tom bought this book because of the Baron Munchausen film connection (which he loved as a child) but ended up being very moved it and thinks I will enjoy it, so I’ll report back!

I also read my friend Fiona’s debut cookbook From Scratch which was absolutely wonderful, just as I had anticipated. If you want to learn how to make some pantry staples from scratch that not only work out cheaper but better for you to boot, this is the book you need. Whether it’s yoghurt, peanut butter or rice crackers, you’ll find a simple and yummy-sounding recipe in here. I also loved reading some of my favourites of Fiona’s stories she shared back in the ye olde blogging days!

And of course we had the sad news of the Queen’s death last Thursday - I have found myself on the Guardian website more often over the past few days than in many previous weeks combined! I found this piece by Jeanette Winterson and this one by Nesrine Malik the standouts of everything I’ve read. Quite different opinions, but I agree with both of them. Charles III has previously shown himself to be an ally of the climate and committed to diversity. Now he is King I really hope he continues to be so.

Listening to

How to Fail: Jarvis Cocker, whose book I am also currently reading. Always a pleasure to hear Jarvis and his invariably funny and thoughtful musings. And yes, I am on a first name basis with him because we once spoke at a Foyles event some years ago, haha! I particularly appreciated what he had to say about being vulnerable in your creative work, as I had just sent my supervisors my first draft and was quietly terrified:

[to be creative]…you have to be vulnerable and also open to making a fool of yourself. You have to feel like you’re walking on a tightrope and you could fall off and it will all be a disaster. But that’s what you have to do otherwise what you’re writing about, singing about, making films about, painting…it isn’t going to mean anything. It’s got to mean something to you first for it then to mean something to another…I think there’s a Leonard Cohen quote that says ‘anyone can show a scar, but it takes courage to show a pimple.’

That made me feel a lot better. Author Andrea Eames, who I interviewed for my own podcast nearly 10 years ago now, also said something similar in my interview with her, which I’ve borne in mind over the last few intense months of writing and in the queasy moments that followed pressing “send” on the draft:

I felt like I was free-falling…and I sort of feel like you have to feel like that when you're writing. If you don't feel terrified of what you're doing, it’s probably not very good. I think you sort of need to be uncomfortable and off your guard and vulnerable to write anything worthwhile.

I have to keep reminding myself that books are slippery things - they often won’t be what you thought or hoped they would be - and that no one will give me permission to write this book. Confidence is something I have to choose, and I also have to hold my nerve, every step of the way. What an education this is proving to be!

Best Friend Therapy: Transactional analysis therapy - another fascinating episode, which explored the role of our various internal voices and how we can find our way to a nurturing and calm adult way of seeing things.

Picking

I took advantage of a warm day when I wasn’t feeling too under the weather (I caught a cough off my sister - but it was not covid!) to tidy up the garden, dig in some compost and mulch with seaweed which Dad brought round. I picked some very healthy looking nettles which were growing wild in the garden, and a random carrot which I don’t remember planting! The celery and rainbow chard continue to produce well. I haven’t had to buy celery all year thanks to my amazing plants! The leaves are also a great substitute for parsley too (which hasn’t grown very well for me - maybe I don’t wear the trousers in this house after all! [that’s an old wives tale]).

Eating

We had lunch outside at the start of the week, for the first time since April, but it’s been freezing pretty much every day since! Typical mercurial spring weather!

I made some rather lovely nettle soup from the nettles (pictured) which had an almost broccoli taste, which was really delicious.

Other yummy things I’ve made over the past two weeks (not all of them photographed, alas!):

Emma Galloway’s dhal with roasted cauliflower on the side

A rather epic apple crumble

Lime and ginger loaf cake

Sweet potato mac and cheese (veganised, which I think I now prefer to the original!)

Curried pumpkin, lentil and cauliflower soup

Vegetable cashew noodle stir fry (not dissimilar to this, just without tofu)

Tofu and rice with satay sauce (also from Emma Galloway’s latest book)

Vegan pizzas (still loving the mushroom, green olive and basil pesto combo)

Deliciously Ella’s mushroom and walnut ragu

We also tucked into some of the vegan chocolate stash we brought back from the UK!

If you would like any of the recipes for the dishes above that I made up, including the nettle soup, do let me know and I will happily write them up…provided I wrote down what I did of course, haha!

Watching

We have seen quite a few films these past few weeks.

Three Thousand Years of Longing (at the cinema) - this was our anniversary treat, and as it was a rainy Thursday afternoon we (almost) had the entire cinema to ourselves. Anything with Tilda Swinton and Idris Elba in it is going to be good, am I right? This was just what I was in the mood for - a well-crafted and acted film with a big brain and surreal/fantastical elements. An accomplished, outwardly content but somewhat lonely scholar (Swinton) buys an artefact in an Istanbul bazaar while there on a conference (she is a narratologist). Back at her hotel room she cleans the artefact, and a Djinn (Elba) appears, offering her three wishes in exchange for his freedom. Anyone expecting a “adult version of Aladdin” as I saw the film referred to in some reviews might be disappointed. It’s actually a very intellectual (as well as visually stunning) exploration of what stories mean and what cultural functions they serve (as cautionary tales, to maintain the status quo, etc). It also examines the idea that unless love is given freely, it isn’t really love at all (in other words, you cannot wish for it). Visually arresting, ambitious in scope and very funny in places, it’s a wonderful film to escape into. I really loved it.

Jurassic World Dominion (4K Blu Ray) - Tommy’s choice, you’ll not be surprised to hear, haha! Getting the original cast back together for this film was the main attraction for me, as I imagine it was for many, and Jeff Goldblum delivers even the most mundane lines in his usual scene-stealing way. Especially when he says: “Jurassic World. Not a fan.” Hahaha! But overall, despite the dazzling animatronics and some genuinely terrifying moments, it wasn’t my favourite of the franchise. Good fun though!

The Flipside (DVD) - OMG, what a find this was. Tom had gone into JB Hifi to get Jurassic World and while I was waiting for him to find it, I spotted this. Reading the synopsis, I was immediately intrigued. An Australian film, set in Adelaide and the Barossa, with all the ingredients of a Phil film - comedy, romance, food and wine, road trips, missed chances, the complicated emotional lives of women. A no-brainer, frankly! The minute it started playing, I knew we were going to enjoy it. It was very charming, clever, well-acted and the right amount of quirky. It reminded me a lot of one of my all time favourite films, Sideways. And yes, we watched it while drinking a Barossan shiraz and a meal that included quite a few Maggie Beer products - I like to team the evening meal with the theme of our chosen film!

I’ve become a little obsessed with Marion Pilowsky’s (the director) back catalogue - she has a lot of very funny and clever short films available on Youtube. I really related to what Marion said about why she made The Flipside:

After working in London for many years I returned to my hometown of Adelaide to focus on writing and directing. In the beginning it really struck me how alien I felt after being away for so long. As I readjusted the vast differences in culture and mind-set between Europe and Australia, it gave me an idea for a story that I felt many could relate to - the visitors from hell. This is a film about finding your true home, love, sex, food and bloody good Shiraz, as well as being my own personal ode to Australia.

She’s pretty much described the sequel to The Latte Years (which may or may not be in the works)!

Honestly, nothing makes me happier than discovering a funny, well-written, truly enjoyable film - and the fact it was written and directed by an Australian woman is a wonderful bonus. From what I could tell it wasn’t particularly well reviewed and I can’t really understand why - I guess people just didn’t get it. But I got it wholeheartedly! I urge you, if you’re in Australia, to seek it out - I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. And Castle fans, you’ll spot a beloved actor from that film in this one and he uses profanity in exactly the same hilarious way. Let me know if you check it out!

Grateful for

Good health (well, the knowledge that a hacking cough is just that and it will pass). A loving husband and family. Friends who show they care. That I live somewhere safe and uncrowded, where the streets are so silent at night you would think you were the only person living there. A roof over my head, food on the table, clean water, a warm bed. The usual suspects!

As I think I’ve hinted at quite a bit in my This Week posts, 2022 has not been an easy year. But, in my stronger, more clear-headed moments, I like to think I have grown more resilient because of it, and I have also been shown that I have a choice where my energy goes. I cannot control how anyone else has chosen to behave but I can choose how much energy I give to things that are, at the end of the day, not actually about me at all. It’s so easy to get bogged down in dramas and doubts, but life is not a guarantee, it is a gift and should be lived with reverence for what matters most. “Be here now” is my most oft-repeated mantra in meditation and it does help ground me. I am truly grateful for all the moments of enlightenment, in whatever form they’ve come, that have led to greater awareness and resilience.

Quote of the week

“We are what we believe we are.” - C.S Lewis

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re all keeping safe and well xx

message me

this week

Tug of war with a very cute golden retriever!

Well, even with an alteration to my publishing schedule, I’m still a day late with my This Week post because this weekend just gone involved back-to-back social engagements which I don’t think has happened since…early 2020?! It felt like our first “normal” weekend in a very long time which was very strange (and tiring) but also lots and lots of fun.

Tom snapped the picture above on Saturday as we took a dear friend out for her 40th birthday and then had sunset drinks back at hers with her adorable dog, which made both Tom and I want one of our own very much. There might be a visit to the Hobart Dog’s Home very soon.

Much like last week, this one passed in a blur of work, deadlines and trying to dress appropriately for the weather, and not always succeeding. Not that I’m complaining about those beautiful late winter days that Hobart does so well, where the sky is so clear and blue it’s like glass, the sun is out but the air is still cool, and the gardens are a riot of pink, white and yellow blossoms. They are golden days, indeed.

Favourite experience/s of the week

Apart from spending time with friends and family, it would have to be printing out a full draft of my PhD novel, having literally cut and pasted and reorganised it into its relevant sections so I know where the gaps are, and feeling very excited that I might have hit on its title, at long last. Tom took a picture of me to mark the occasion!

There were many long days with the book this past week, days where I wrote 500 words but then deleted another 2000, which can be very disheartening. But the draft is slowly taking shape. It’s difficult but ultimately very satisfying work.

Reading

I finished an ARC of Cat Lady by Dawn O’Porter (coming out in October) which was, like all Dawn’s novels, compelling and hilarious but also perilously on the edge of disturbing in places. This novel is a really interesting deconstruction of the “cat lady” stereotype (and other stereotypes too) as well as an exploration of mental health, grief, trauma and abuse of power, as well as the powerful love and bond one can have with animals who, let’s face it, tend to love a bit more unconditionally than humans do. I really enjoyed it but did find myself absolutely cringing at one point, wondering how far Dawn was going to go with it! I do admire authors who are braver than I ever would be!

I also started reading a memoir, My Own Devices by Dessa, which I ordered from the US, and am adoring it so far. Deeply intelligent and thoughtful writing about life as a working musician as well as a woman who is curious about her parents, her upbringing, science, psychology, heartache, the search for happiness as well as the search for what is real. I believe she has a podcast too so I’ll be seeking that out!

Plus the usual PhD reading - my favourite was Spontaneous Particulars: The Telepathy of Archives by poet Susan Howe, which was a stunning exploration of what it is like to work with archives, how these dusty folders and piles of papers are in fact alive, full of stories and mysteries. She also captures the surprises, the chance encounters, and the occasional shocks one can have when working with an archive. It was a real inspiration for my exegetical work.

Amy Letter: Quitting Social Media Part One and Part Two - I recently discovered Amy and her work, and these posts on quitting social media were, I’m sure you won’t be surprised, deeply relevant and resonant for me!

Listening to

Inspired by my reading, I’ve been listening to a lot of Dessa and Amanda Palmer, as well as my usual writing and running music. Perhaps the musicians I’ve been drawn to this past week are also reflective of the fact that I’ve reached a point in my manuscript where my main character is - inasmuch as she could in 1820s Hobart Town - fighting back against prejudice and oppressive stereotypes and expectations, attempting to contextualise and give a voice to her pain and trauma. Reading Dessa’s memoir has made her music more meaningful for me, and I particularly identify with her saying that her work seems to have recurring themes, a persistent thread of sadness and heartache. I have found the same with my own body of work. I had thought after writing The Latte Years that I might be done with its themes, but no - they appear persistently in everything I write. I too seem destined to keep striking the same bell and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I write to work through things, to understand and process them. Things I know so many other women have grappled with too - even women who lived 200 years ago. I think that’s one of my main drivers for my current novel, that a story of female resilience from colonial Australia can have so much resonance for women now…well, it certainly does for me.

Best Friend Therapy: Divorce - is it failure or evolution? How does it affect wider relationships? Is there a way to divorce well? I always enjoy this podcast and have listened to some episodes many times over, but this was probably the least resonant episode for me so far. I found that surprising, as I expected to relate hard to the subject matter but instead found it was all stuff I had dealt with a long time ago and didn’t feel the need to rake over again. Which is definitely a good thing! Listening to this episode made me feel very grateful, and not for the first time, that if getting divorced was a life experience I was always destined to have, that it happened to me in my twenties. It was painful enough when the whole relationship had been relatively short; from what I can tell it’s even harder when you’ve been together for decades and have all of the collateral that a shared life of that length entails. The emotional pain of a marriage breakdown, even when you know it’s for the best, is not something I’d wish on anyone but I hope that the stories I’ve shared over the years prove that you can thrive on the other side of it.

The First Time: Kate and Katherine catch up + featured book, Denizen by James McKenzie Watson I always enjoy this podcast and now that I’m not on social media anymore, I like to listen to their catch-up episodes as well to find out what these two very interesting and lovely-sounding writers get up to and are inspired by.

WILD with Sarah Wilson: Mark O’Connell, meet the apocalypse preppers - far out, this was an eye-opener! I found the discussion about how the world’s super-rich are buying up land in New Zealand to escape the apocalypse could be viewed as a second wave of colonialism very, very interesting and noted many parallels with what I’ve observed happening in Tasmania since the start of the pandemic.

Wellness Unpacked with Ella Mills (formerly the Deliciously Ella podcast): How to change habits, taking life off hold and mindful eating with Shahroo Izadi - I loved this interview. Shahroo is fantastic - her first interview with Ella a few years ago was one of my favourites of the earlier seasons and she’s yet again right on the money with her observations and advice. Really inspiring and a great listen.

Eating

Gosh, this is always a long section isn’t it? How un-shocking! Once more, it was a case of cooking up on Sunday and eating the results for most of the week though there were a few surprises in there too. No baking this week, though I had plenty of last week’s lime and ginger cake and the week before’s vegan gingerbread to nibble at. I’ve been reading a wonderful vegan baking book and am keen to try a few of the recipes.

Friday’s lunch - vegetables, chickpeas and noodles which tasted so incredible!

Sunday: Minestrone soup

Monday: We had our friend Jack over for dinner and I made a couple of vegan curries - a simple potato one and a dal makhani (based on Dishoom’s recipe for their house black dal, though to be honest I mostly looked at the back of the packet of dal makhani spices I bought from a specialist spice shop in Moonah!), which we had with rice, spicy apple chutney I made last autumn and flatbreads. It was quite a feast! I can’t believe I didn’t take any photos…but that’s what being off social media does to you, haha!

Tuesday: Tofu fried rice (to use up the leftover rice)

Wednesday: Potato curry

Thursday: Gnocchi with pesto, rocket and aged walnut cheese that all needed using up - delicious!

Friday: Broccoli miso pasta (OMG this was amazing and I will totally be writing up the recipe)

Broccoli miso pasta. So divinely creamy and indulgent, I found it hard to believe it was vegan!

Saturday: Homemade pizza - which we hadn’t had in SO long and I am definitely bringing back!

Lunch out at Frogmore Creek on Saturday. Arancini balls - but the apple and fennel salad in the middle was the real star of the show!

Sunday: Leftover homemade pizza!

But I was most impressed with lunches this week as well - particularly Friday’s where, craving something green and wholesome, I cooked some green vegetables with a can of chickpeas, added them to some rice vermicelli noodles, dressed the whole lot with soy and chilli, and scattered the top with pumpkin seeds. So nourishing and delicious!

We also had a lovely meal out on Saturday at Frogmore Creek, a winery about half an hour away, one of our favourite places.

Drinking

We had some very nice wines on Saturday and I also had some whisky for the first time all year! I felt I couldn’t really get to the end of winter without indulging at least once. I had missed that delicious burn in the throat.

During the day it’s been tea, tea and more tea - chai, Bengal spice, and ginger mostly. Anything warming.

Picking

The usual suspects - celery, chard and perpetual spinach - but this week we noticed the rhubarb is back! I’m not sure if I can pick it to eat this year or whether I have to wait another year (I planted it last year) but it looks very robust and healthy. I’m quite excited for spring planting now - just need to dig some more compost in and my beds will be good to go.

Watching

The usual suspects, though we’re now on to The Thick of It as well as our current favourites. We haven't quite had the headspace for films (well, I’m speaking for myself here - Tom always has the headspace for films!) of an evening after the long days we’ve had, so something hilarious has been just the ticket.

Wearing

My coat, scarf and hat for half the week, and then not!

A gorgeous comfy red floral dress I bought from Seasalt Cornwall, my favourite UK clothing brand, when we were there a few months ago. I can’t find a link to it, it would appear the seasons have definitely changed now!

Grateful for

My husband, my family, caring friends, my good health - the usual suspects!

Quote of the week

“No need to hurry. No need to sparkle. No need to be anybody but oneself.” - Virginia Woolf

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re also finding things to savour and ponder, that give you joy and nourishment xx

message me

this week

It’s always fun to spot The Latte Years out in the wild! I don’t think seeing my book on a library shelf will ever get old. I also love how our State Library puts a little Tassie sticker on the spine if you’re a local author.

Sometimes I’m glad I just went with This Week as the title of these weekly updates - something simple, rather than anything clever or exciting. I got trained out of that some years ago when the Elders of the Internet suddenly told us that blog post titles that were too clever, a pun or a play on words, where the reader might have to work for the meaning, were bad for SEO, or led to lower engagement and higher bounce rates. I get the rationale for it, I do.

But if I were giving each weekly update post its own title, this week I might have gone with The Physics of Failure.

A supremely clever and dear friend of mine is an engineer and that is her specialty. But I also think it’s a fantastic summation of trying to write the first draft of a complicated novel.

Take this equation from my most recent work day - write 500 words, delete 5000. What kind of algorithm is that? How is it possible to estimate or predict anything about the creative process? “Honestly, who would do this?” my colleague wrote back in solidarity when we exchanged emails about our writing progress that day.

But I do want to do this, as excruciating as it is. Putting a book together, as Annie Dillard writes, is “interesting and exhilarating. It is sufficiently difficult and complex that is engages all your intelligence. It is life at its most free.”

So, there is nothing to do but keep buggering on, as Winston Churchill said. I steel myself as I prepare for the week ahead, but also I’m rather excited as I wonder whether the draft might be completely different this time next week. What might happen? What might I discover?

Favourite experience/s of the week

Coffee with my parents at a cafe for the first time in about a year (in a cafe, that is, I have seen my parents often in that time!). I’m grateful that hanging out with them regularly is now the norm, no longer a biennial event, though I still savour spending time with them, all the same.

A visit to the hairdresser for the first time since February! My last hairdresser sadly moved away so I had to find a replacement - the lovely lady who did my hair on Tuesday recognised me once I pulled my mask down to take a sip of water. It turned out she did my sister’s hair for her wedding, many years ago. Hashtag Hobart!

Reading

Again mostly PhD stuff but I also managed to read Karen Hitchcock’s The Medicine: A Doctor’s Notes, a collection of her essays about what it’s like to work in the Australian public health system today - interestingly, published in February 2020 and therefore some of her warnings about the dire state of things proved to be correct. Her writing is so insightful and sharp and quite haunting. Karen has been one of my favourite writers for years, ever since I listened to a highly entertaining and engaging interview with her on the ABC in 2010, which I also very much recommend as well as her book of short stories.

I’m also spending some time with Annie Dillard in her restorative and elemental The Writing Life.

Listening to

The First Time: Masters Series - Christos Tsolkias. I managed Part One, which was great, and Part Two is even more insightful but I’ve still got some of that to go, so that’s first on the list for my next walk. Such a talented, humble man and so passionate. I particularly loved this bit from Part Two:

I get told that people want to write revolutionary stuff; they want to write radical stuff; they want to burn the world; [where] their writing is “talking back to the man”…and then, it’s the most timid writing. Everyone I speak to seems to be terrified of what someone’s going to say about them on Twitter so they will not risk an opinion that is challenging. And, more vilely, they won’t defend a friend who gets attacked because they’re scared of the damage that will come their way.

Christos was referring to the mindset and viewpoint of his characters Christo and Andrea in his latest novel 7 1/2 but these are thoughts he, like anyone writing a contemporary novel, has as well. I think it holds a lot of truth!

I also discovered that the Dandy Warhols released an extremely interesting album, that’s about four hours long, in 2020 called Tafelmuzik Means More When You’re Alone - I’ve not yet listened to the whole thing as it’s not quite writing music, though the first two tracks could be. It takes the concept of Tafelmuzik, which was designed to be played to accompany banquets in the 16th century, and turns it on its head a bit. It’s meditative and weird and I kind of love it.

I’ve also had Nils Frahm’s Lemon Day on repeat this week, and while writing this post!

Seriously sensational mashed potato flatbreads.

Eating

The week’s eats were:

Sunday: All-in-one sweet potato Thai curry from The Green Roasting Tin by Rukmini Iyer - this was luscious and so easy to make when we’d got in late from watching the football with the family. It was lovely and soupy, a bit like a laksa.

Monday: Jerk-spiced lentils with rice and mashed potato flatbreads. The flatbreads were seriously out of this world and totally worth having to have all the windows and doors open because of how smoky the kitchen got! Next time I’ll do them on the barbecue but WOW, they tasted like the naan from the Indian street food stall at Spitalfields Market, where I used to prowl around on a Thursday lunchtime back in the day. I can write up the recipe if you like but it was very simple - equal parts leftover mashed potato and self-raising flour, with a bit of soy milk to bind it all together. Spread each flatbread with butter or vegan equivalent while you keep them warm. We had the leftover flatbread (I’m amazed there was any left) with soup the next day for lunch.

Tuesday: It was meant to be risotto, but I ruined it by adding something that had gone off to it (why didn’t I check it first?!) so we ended up having hot chips in the air fryer and a packet of Digestive biscuits. Plus wine. That might have been why the risotto was ruined.

Wednesday: Jerk spiced lentils with pasta (as an alternative bolognese, it’s very delicious).

Thursday: Vegan curried sausages with rice and greens. Very yummy! I was trying to recreate the dish I remembered from my childhood after a chat with my new hairdresser about comfort food, but it wasn’t quite how I remembered it. I think my parents might have used a milder curry powder as well as extra turmeric and milk instead of stock to get more nutrition into their growing girls. I recall the sauce being neon yellow, and very creamy. More experiments needed.

Friday: Jerk spiced lentils with pasta again - I had no desire to repeat Tuesday’s disaster so went with something safe! After a long day, the most I could handle was boiling water and stirring a sauce through.

Saturday: Burger and chips, which we hadn’t had for quite a while. I put some aged walnut cheese on mine which felt rather decadent.

I also made another stash of Nigella’s vegan gingerbread which happily keeps for weeks, and Rachel Ama’s ginger lime cake from her brilliant One Pot book. One cannot write a book without cake. And tea. There’s been plenty of that too.

Watching

Mission Impossible: Fallout (4K Blu Ray) - a Tom choice, but I have been pleasantly surprised by how enjoyable the Mission Impossible franchise is. A bit like James Bond (up until recently that is!), I relax a lot knowing that Ethan Hunt will never be killed off and will therefore pretty much get out of every situation, however dire and un-winnable it appears. That helps me enjoy an action film a lot more. Though I was genuinely sad and shocked when Alec Baldwin’s character doesn’t make it (sorry for the spoiler!). And the sprightly presence of Simon Pegg makes any film a joy to watch.

Sisters (Blu Ray) - we watched this in 2015 and, being so new to Tina Fey’s work at that point and most of the SNL alumni (I know, what rock had I been living under?), I have to confess I didn’t enjoy it on the first watch. We gave it another try this weekend, having become great fans of Amy Poehler and Paula Pell in the intervening years as well, and on this watch I thought it was fantastic. Perhaps I just get the humour more, or recognised so many of the cast, or perhaps now I’m in my early forties, the same age as the protagonists, everything felt a tad more relatable? Either way, I’m really glad we gave it another go.

The Brittas Empire (DVD) - Tom surprised me with the boxset as an early anniversary present and we’ve been laughing non-stop. A lot of comedies from the 1990s have not aged brilliantly but this one is an exception. I was only a child when this show was originally televised and there is something about revisiting shows that you enjoyed as a kid about workplaces and obnoxious bosses as an adult that just gives it so much more meaning and that rings true so much more. I wonder if my favourite blog Ask A Manager might ever dissect Gordon Brittas’ management style for a laugh?!

Quote of the week

Spotted in London a few months ago….

“Create. Every day. And making excuses does not count.” - Wrdsmith

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! Let me know what you’ve been up to, and what’s been inspiring you, if you like. I love hearing from you. Stay well, until next week! xx

message me

this week

Daphne, one of my favourite smells, and prolific at this time of year. I brought some to my office so I could smell it all day while I’m writing.

I know I say this nearly every week but I’m not entirely sure where this week has gone.

But this week I know why - because I have been putting my head down to make some serious headway on my novel. My supervisors would like to see a full draft by the end of August and so on Monday I printed out the current draft as it stands, all 370 pages of it, and have been lost in that world ever since. Hours pass and I barely move, apart from my fingers on the keyboard.

It has reminded me a lot of when I was writing The Latte Years with a short deadline, around a full time job and everything else that life in London entailed. Days became weeks very quickly.

I’ve decided for the next few weeks, while I’m ensconced in my work, that my This Week posts will be written and published on a Sunday instead of Friday (which frankly has usually meant Saturday!). That takes the pressure off considerably and allows me to devote writing time during the week to the PhD, which is absolutely where it needs to be spent.

It also means that my This Week posts might not be all that exciting for the next little while - if all I’m doing is writing, sleeping, eating and exercising, there might not be much to report! But I’m a firm believer that it’s the little details that are worth paying attention to in life, where we might see interesting patterns, and where we might learn a lot about ourselves.

Favourite experience/s of the week

I loved making some serious headway on my draft. I found myself waking in the mornings, itching to get back to it. I am delighted and frankly relieved that I’ve hit this point with it - it has been a hard slog over the past two years, where research has been so much easier than trying to enter this world with my imagination. I knew I had only got to know these people superficially - I had shaken their hands and nodded politely at them across the room, not sat beside them at a campfire or, God forbid, kicked down their bedroom doors (as the wonderful Morag Joss once instructed me to do). I had a wonderful video chat with a dear friend in London who is also a theatre director, so she is well-versed in making characters come alive. We workshopped a few ideas together and she really encouraged me to step up and take ownership of my subject as a character - I have to invent, because the historical record is so sparse.

Things I was grateful for this week

Is it lame to say my husband? He went out to get some groceries while I was working at home and I heard him come back, shuffling at the front door with the keys and bags. I hopped up and opened the door for him, and he was standing there with a huge bouquet of tulips in his arms. He never misses an opportunity to show me he’s proud of me. I’m so deeply grateful for how supportive he is.

Tea and a pile of library books. Two of my favourite things.

Reading

Honestly? 99 per cent of my reading this week has been PhD stuff. My notebooks, flicking through them looking for things I know I wrote down months ago in a flash of inspiration, or for obscure references that I thought would come in handy. Wonderful books lent to me by my supervisors, poetic deconstruction and interpretation of sparse archives. Combing through JSTOR for papers on fictive memoir and metaphorical mapping in Margaret Atwood’s Alias Grace. There hasn’t been a dull moment!

But I also like to read for pleasure as well, where I can! I got myself a pile of library books yesterday and brought them back to an empty, silent house. I put Ludovico Einaudi on the stereo, brewed a cup of tea and dove into the pile. My happy place.

I’ve already read Breathing Space which is a wonderful collection of poetry, essays, art and short fiction from Tasmanian writers and artists about our changing relationship with this state’s landscape. I adored it. And I know a few of the contributors, which is always special.

Listening to

The First Time: Masters Series - Tony Birch. I had of course heard of Tony and read his writing, but I had never listened to an interview with him before and I was spellbound. He really emphasised the importance of getting into a good working routine for your writing - whatever works for you - and I also appreciated what he said about rejection. I was still feeling sad about one I’d had the week before and his words were really bolstering - and to know that even a writer of his stature still gets turned down was very comforting!

WILD with Sarah Wilson: Ask Me Anything with Melissa Hemsley - fabulous episode, full of Sarah’s usual thoughtfulness and proactive take on life. I must admit I had been feeling a bit despairing over the climate crisis of late and listening to this made me feel hopeful again.

We Can Do Hard Things with Glenn Doyle - OMG, how had I not discovered this podcast until now?! (answer - most likely because I have not been on social media since January). Thank goodness for my walking commute! I have saved so many episodes to listen to but this week I managed both Cheryl Strayed episodes, both Liz Gilbert episodes, and the Reese Witherspoon episode. They were all fabulous and just such great reminders of how important it is to be resilient, courageous and make the contribution that you are here to make.

Best Friend Therapy: Toxic Friendships - how do we define friendship? What makes a friendship toxic? What can we do about it? - I’ve already listened to this twice so that probably tells you how deeply relatable I found this episode. I particularly appreciated their definition of friendship which was thinking of the other person with goodwill, wanting the best for them (even if it means you don’t get what you want from them) and always making generous assumptions. Life is a lot easier when you have generous assumptions! There tends to be less drama too.

Thursday’s tofu fried rice - always a favourite!

Eating

The week’s eats were:

Saturday: Pizza night with family

Sunday: I did a big cook up and made our winter favourite Pip casserole (vegan version obvs!) and Rachel Ama’s Jerk-spiced Lentils, both of which kept us going through the week! We had the casserole with chunks of homemade bread.

Monday: Jerk-spiced Lentils with coconut rice and flatbread. Seriously, every recipe of Rachel Ama’s that I’ve tried has been incredible and this was no exception. If you’re a vegan you need to get her books immediately!

Tuesday: Casserole with flatbread

Wednesday: Jerk-spiced lentils with pasta (it made a delicious pasta sauce!)

Thursday: Tofu fried rice (using leftover rice from Monday)

Friday: Sweet potato and coconut soup (loosely followed this recipe) with bread

Saturday: Nigella’s puttanesca, veganised (use 2 tablespoons of miso paste instead of anchovies) and with shredded chard from the garden added.

The bread machine has been getting a workout (it’s a wonderful enticement to get up with my alarm, as I time it to be finished at the same time. Whatever works!), I made another loaf of banana bread, and also an ill-fated tray of granola which was gutting. I prepared it so lovingly - coconut oil, vanilla and organic honey I wanted to use up melted down, stirred through nuts, almond meal, seeds and coconut into clustered sweetness - only for it to burn in the too-hot oven. The place smelled of honey, coconut and vanilla for days, the promise of what could have been hanging in the air! Sad face. I managed to salvage about half a cup of dark brown on the cusp of burnt granola, and it was pretty nice. Sigh. I will be much more careful next time and watch it like a hawk!

Watching

Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation (4K Blu-Ray - Tom was keen I make the distinction, haha!) - I quite enjoyed this! The highlight was realising that one of the shady guys was Cecil the choirmaster from the Vicar of Dibley, haha!

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (iTunes) - apart from Sisters (which I may need to give another chance), I love everything Tina Fey is in and this was no exception. The year is 2003 and a news writer (Fey) stuck in a rut decides to chuck in her comfortable but depressingly mundane life, and volunteers to report from the frontline of the war in Afghanistan. Unsurprisingly, her life is utterly transformed (to put it mildly) by the experience. Admittedly a certain amount of suspension of disbelief is required when watching Anglo actors play locals but overall I found the heart of this film to be in pretty much the right place. It’s well shot, well paced and also, despite its serious subject matter, very funny in places.

Quote of the week

At the library yesterday I picked up a book I’ve read before - The Writing Life by Annie Dillard - and at random it fell open at this page when I picked it up.

“Aim for the chopping block. If you aim for the wood, you will have nothing. Aim past the wood, aim through the wood; aim for the chopping block.” - Annie Dillard

I think of this as encouragement to see the bigger picture, widening one’s perspective rather than being focused too narrowly on the wood itself - the finished work, the published book, and how it is received. Don’t worry about doing it perfectly. Focus on the act of writing itself, the chopping block.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re staying safe and well, wherever you are xx

message me

this week

Blossom watch has started….

We’re at that time of year where the mornings are getting (slightly) lighter and we’re no longer under a cloak of darkness at 4:45pm; where you can see bright jonquils springing up in gardens and the beginnings of blossom on the trees. There’s still frost on the cars in the mornings, the air is still bitingly cold, and I can’t see myself wearing a dress without tights any time soon, but we have entered that stage in the season where everything is waking up, the wheel is turning and soon there will be barbecues, bare arms and beach swims after work again. I’m looking forward to summer. Winter has felt especially long this year, even after spending some of it in the UK. A weird feeling, but then it’s been a pretty weird year.

Favourite experience/s of the week

A book was sent to me to review and it must have been sent from the future because it was (mistakenly) addressed to “Dr Philippa Moore” which made me laugh but also filled me with utter delight. That’s still at least two and a half years away but nice to think it might have already happened in a parallel universe!

Browsing a bookstore looking for a gift for a friend while it poured with rain outside and acoustic Missy Higgins was playing on the stereo.

A walk at dusk with Tom where we encountered many friendly wallabies. Some fellow walkers also enjoying the area after dark mentioned that tawny frogmouths (a bit like owls) can be seen on occasion!

Hearing that a surprise I sent a friend in New Zealand made it there!

A lovely chat with my dear friend in London, seeing her sitting in her garden with the sun beating down, and finding it so bizarre that I was sitting in the exact same place just two months ago!

Solitude as I worked in my office at uni, which smells of old library books and chai. Two of my favourite smells.

Having dinner with my sister and my nephew, who is a sweet and caring young man who I am really enjoying getting to know better.

Things I was grateful for this week

A few clear sunny days in a row, in which to hang washing out and get it dry. Ah, the things you get excited about in your forties!

Encouragement, support and always useful feedback from my PhD supervisors, which led to a productive week.

The abundance of my tiny garden, even in winter, with chard, spinach and thick celery picked fresh for nearly every meal.

When the little stings come, being able to absorb the wisdom of other writers who have been there. And having a husband who also gives the best hugs.

A healthy body that can walk and run and take just about anything I throw at it. But, as Neil Young put it, “I’m gettin’ old” so eye tests have also been booked. On that note, I’m also grateful to live in a country with public healthcare where eye tests are still bulk-billed.

Also grateful to science and the caring medical professionals who gave Tom and I our second covid boosters today - our fourth jab in total. Vaxxed to the max!

A few poetry collections I’m savouring at the moment.

Reading

Poetry. Mountains of it. I can’t get enough. The picture shows a few of the collections I’m working my way through (most of them purchased from Foyles in London). I also have the collected works of Philip Larkin, Adrienne Rich and Judith Wright which I’ve been dipping in and out of. Online, my discoveries of the week were Felicity Plunkett’s “What the Sea Remembers” and Anne Sexton’s “Her Kind”. Nikki Gemmell once said that poetry is her tuning fork when she writes fiction, and it is mine too.

The Conversation: A Brief History of Curry in Australia by my colleague Dr Frieda Moran (curried wombat was once a thing, apparently!)

Lithub: The Childfree Effigy: On Network’s Diana and the Tropes that Betray Women. A brilliant essay on how the image of a childfree woman has been controlled in Hollywood over the past five or so decades. “Were it women directing 85 percent of Hollywood films today, how might that change the global perception of power, and even power itself?” So much yes in this article!

The Guardian: Greta Gerwig films - ranked! Greta is one of my favourite directors (if not my favourite….though Jane Campion has held top spot for a long time) and I enjoyed this ranking of all her films, that she’s directed, written or acted in. I disagree with Greenberg being number one though! Ladybird or Little Women should have grabbed that spot. Thoughts, fellow Greta fans?

Sydney Review of Books: Taking our Time - a very interesting essay about how academic work has both intensified and been increasingly devalued over the last few decades, and hence how time is measured in relation to academic workloads, as well as freedom to pursue research and thought without (too much) restraint or control, has changed. Lots of food for thought.

Listening to

After hearing an unfamiliar song of hers in the bookshop, I’ve been listening to everything Missy Higgins has recorded since 2012. Her latest EP Total Control is fabulous. “Watch Out” is my favourite track.

Michael Kiwanuka - so fantastic. I particularly love “Piano Joint (This Kind Of Love)” and the Claptone remix of “You Ain’t The Problem”. That’s been a particularly reassuring song for the last year or so!

Fable released a new album, Shame, last week and Tom is a huge fan! We listened to it on repeat over the weekend and I really loved it. Powerful, intense and haunting, but so listenable.

But my most incredible listening experience of the week is in the Watching section….

Thursday’s tofu fried rice - always a favourite!

Eating

The week’s eats were as follows:

Saturday: Pasta bake

Sunday: Minestrone soup with homemade bread

Monday: Sweet potato and lentil curry (made with my homemade Sri Lankan curry powder) and rice

Tuesday: Linda McCartney’s Deep Dish Pie with mash, green beans and peas, which I made for my sister and nephew who joined us for dinner. They brought a warm vegan brownie for dessert, which was also scrumptious! No leftovers, unsurprisingly.

Wednesday: Minestrone soup with homemade bread (leftovers from Sunday)

Thursday: Tofu fried rice (using leftover rice from Monday)

Tonight: who knows?! Probably pasta. Maybe sweet potato mac and cheese (which I now make a vegan version of - and it’s so good!)

There have also been a lot of winter smoothies for breakfast. A winter smoothie is, quite simply, a smoothie made with a mixture of fresh winter fruits and dried fruits. A typical one for me and Tom is:

one large apple/one large pear/one large orange + one frozen banana + two Medjool dates + frozen or fresh spinach + ground flaxseed/LSA + maca powder + tahini/peanut butter + cinnamon + almond milk + a hefty scoop of porridge oats. All blended together. It tastes amazing! And gets lots of fibre and good things into you.

Admittedly, it’s not the most warming breakfast on a two degree morning when there’s frost on the cars outside (!) but always delicious! Add a side of Vegemite toast and that’s our WFH breakfast most days. Smoothies were something I really missed when we were couch-surfing/housesitting/staying with my parents when we first moved back here. No one seemed to have a blender!

Next week we have a few long work days in a row so this weekend will most likely involve a few cook-ups so there’s a tub of soup, curry or pasta sauce to simply reheat when we get in. I’m keen to try a few new things too so we’ll see what inspires me! I’m keen to make those cabbage rolls I made last week again, so let’s hope Hill Street Grocer has plenty of cabbages…

Watching

The most profound watching (and also listening) experience of my week was Kasey Chambers’ covering Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”. The original was a favourite running song of mine in years gone by but this is something else. I found myself in tears at this performance’s energy and power. There was something about this song being sung by a woman in her 40s, hair spilling down to her waist and a banjo in her hands, a song of melancholy, anger and hopelessness, and how it slowly built and built until it exploded into energy and power and…magic, for want of a better word. Seriously, just watch it. I have barely stopped thinking about it.

Tom and I also enjoyed a long overdue rewatch of a favourite film, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. This film is very special to us. We went to see it at the cinema in September 2010, a few days after we were married. My parents had left that day to return to Australia and we were feeling a bit blue, as we always were when Aussie family and friends departed after a visit, and in need of perking up, we decided to stroll up the King’s Road and go to the movies. The minute the film started, we knew we were going to love it - and we did! It was absolutely hilarious and still is, nearly twelve years later. I also recognised a lot of places in the movie from my trip to Toronto (where it’s set) which at the time had only been three years earlier (it has now been 15 years!!). On my trip I had paid a visit to the record store (Sonic Boom) and I so loved going to Second Cup for my signature beverage at the time (I’m sure you can guess). It’s just one of those movies that’s full of good memories and associations for us, and one I think we’ll probably watch once a year forever and never tire of. Do you have a movie like that?

Quote of the week

“I’m just going to write because I cannot help it.” - Charlotte Brontë. This is a card I bought at the Haworth Parsonage in Yorkshire in June, which I plan to have framed for my study at some point.

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re keeping safe, well and warm or cool, wherever you are xx

message me

this week

How small we are compared to the vastness of nature.

I found myself pondering paradoxes, contrasts and dualities this week - how we think things are compared to how they actually are. How on Monday morning I read The Guardian in bed with a coffee, shaken at the news of rising inflation and cost of living, the likes that have not been seen for 30 years in this country; and then headed to work at my desk, where my inbox was overflowing with click frenzy sales for items I didn’t need from merchants I suppose I must have given my email address to but whose wares I have no use for at this point in time. Conflicting messages from every direction. How hard it can be to keep one’s head amongst it all.

I also thought about how being back in Tasmania has warped time for me, in some respects. I am not the 24-year-old who left, though many people treat me as though I am. As though a pause button was somehow pressed (where is it? How do I find it?!), as though everything that has happened to me over the past seventeen years happened to someone else. Oddly, sometimes my life does feel like it did then, as though it is yet to really get going. But unlike when I was actually 24, there’s lots of promise and potential, that I try to maximise at every opportunity. I was therefore surprised to look up the details of a Young Tasmanian Writer’s Fellowship and discover that I didn’t qualify - in fact, the cut-off for me qualifying was age 30, well over a decade ago! That was a real jolt back to reality, that even though I feel I’m very much still on a journey and don’t feel that different to who I was in my twenties (just wiser and less tolerant of bullshit, I’d say), the world seems to think I should have it more together by now! I honestly forget how old I am a lot of the time. I’m smiling as I write this because I know how ridiculous it sounds. Am I really that deluded? Is it the effect of the pandemic, the bizarre melting down of days, weeks and months into time candles that we think we can still light but when we strike the match, we find they’ve already burned down?

I was also reminded of how beautiful Tasmania is, particularly in the winter. A friend and I had an adventure down at the Tahune Airwalk, which I had never been to before, and what a tonic it was to breathe such fresh cold air, revel in the natural beauty of the place, cross the Huon River on a swinging bridge, and be left speechless at the sheer majesty of the trees.

Favourite experience/s of the week

The Tahune Airwalk, by far! It’s tucked away deep in the south west of the state, and we did a lovely hike through it, including two swinging bridges and the air walk itself, which feels like you’re suspended among the extremely tall, majestic treetops. If you don’t like heights, maybe it’s not for you! But I loved the thrill of it.

It moved me greatly to think that some of the stringybarks were there, alive and growing, during the period I’ve been researching and writing about (1820s). These trees well and truly outlived my characters, and they will likely outlive me too. It made me think about how small we are, in terms of the vastness of nature and its incredible power to survive. That even through fire and destruction, nature will find a way to come back. We must take our place beside nature, not dominate it or bend it to our will.

The air was fresh, invigorating and cold from the nearby Hartz mountains, and the Huon River had chunks of ice floating in it. Being winter, the off season, the place was almost deserted and it was such a treat and an honour to practically have it to ourselves.

I shot some video too which I’ll edit together at some point for you all, to hopefully entice you to visit yourselves!

We drove back to Hobart via Geeveston for the famous Masaaki sushi and then another stop at Kingston Beach where we indulged in my favourite post bushwalk treat, whatever the weather - cold beer and hot chips.

Nature, fresh air, a dear friend and chips! The perfect Saturday.

Reading

Island Magazine: Living Poets by Jessica Lim - I too am rereading A Room of One’s Own and am quite blown away by its relevance for contemporary women, so I enjoyed this article very much.

Meanjin: I (re)discovered their What I’m Reading column and enjoyed trawling through the archives during a much needed brain break. I particularly enjoyed James McKenzie Watson, Melissa Manning and Emilie Collyer.

Gwenn Seemel: Making Art When The World Is Ending - “even if this is the conjunction of horrible that actually kills us all (or makes us wish we were dead), I’ll have seen it through by making love tangible across space and time. I’ll have been creating objects that make people feel seen and understood. I’ll have been opening myself and others to new worlds and different ways of thinking, helping people to get outside of their own narrow experience and allowing them to become better and more loving.” YES to all of this.

Annabel Smith: How to Become a Writer with Imbi Neeme - every guest of Annabel’s puts their own spin on the theme and the questions, it’s never the same which is part of the charm! I particularly enjoyed how Imbi structured it. I also liked how Imbi described herself as “a recovering blogger, an impending novelist” which I might borrow to describe myself in future!

Guernica: Sharp Relief - Watching Yoko Ono’s “Cut Piece” post Roe

In terms of books, I’ve been reading a lot of gardening and cookbooks, most of which I’ve borrowed from the library, and I finished Stolen by Lucy Christopher, the YA prequel to her just-released adult fiction, Release, which I’ll be reading next. It’s a dark, brutal but stunningly told story, bringing the harsh beauty of the Australian desert to vivid life, and so clever as to how you, the reader, end up with Stockholm syndrome as the narrator does. I can’t wait for Release!

Listening to

My general “for writing” and “moody dramatic” writing playlists were on repeat as I worked (and reworked!) on a 10,000 word section of my novel to send as part of a fellowship submission (fingers crossed). I also discovered the soundtrack (written by John Barry) to a 1980 film called Somewhere in Time which is actually beautiful to write to.

Best Friend Therapy: Fertility - what’s the reality? How does the language impact us? How can we support each other? This is an issue that has affected so many people I know. Feeling seen, heard and supported is so important. If you need a good cry, listen to this episode - that’s really all I have to say!

The Imperfects: I’m still really enjoying working my way through the archives of this how. This week I listened to Dr Emily, Truth vs Harmony - and boy did this resonate with me!

James and Ashley Stay at Home: This past week, James had his debut novel published! This episode did a behind the scenes look at Denizen and made me even more excited to read it!

The First Time: Masters Series: Liane Moriarty - I had no idea that Liane had written the part of Perry’s mother (in the second season of Big Little Lies) specifically with Meryl Streep in mind, and then got her to play the role! The power of acting ‘as if’! Fabulous.

Winter Nachos

Eating

Rather than a taco mac and cheese with last week’s leftovers, I made winter nachos! Leftover cauliflower stalk and lentil taco mixture bulked out with a tin of black beans and reheated; topped with cashew queso, mashed avocado, raw kale massaged with cider vinegar, pickled jalapeños, vegan sour cream and pickled tomatoes. Bloody delicious if I do say so myself.

Cabbage rolls - pre sauce and baking!

I also made some incredible cabbage rolls (no recipe yet, I saw one in a cookbook that I loosely followed, but not really! I can write up what I did if anyone is interested, as I’ll definitely make this again). I had some leftover rice and so turned that into the stuffing. I flavoured it with spices, green vegetables and herbs from the garden, dried cranberries, chopped almonds and some various bits and pieces lying around. The cabbage leaves were blanched in salted water, left to cool slightly and then I used them to wrap around generous spoonfuls of the rice filling. I topped the rolls with a tin of tomatoes and then baked for about 40 minutes. I didn’t get a picture of it afterwards as we were so hungry, I just served it up without a second thought about a photo! It was such a satisfying dinner but quite light, weirdly. I will definitely make this again, it’s perfect winter food with cabbages in season.

There was plenty of leftover rice stuffing, which we had cold the next day in a Buddha bowl.

Plenty of last week’s vegan banana bread for snacks - I keep forgetting it’s there half the time. Fortunately it keeps brilliantly!

I also made a gorgeous curry with a free Spice Tailor curry paste I got at the supermarket a few weeks ago (I love how Coles sometimes do that!) - I chose the Malabar one and used it to make a curry with potato, cauliflower and spinach, which was absolutely divine. We had leftovers so I added chickpeas to those when we heated it up for dinner a few nights later.

I also made a vat of lentil and walnut ragu - I intended to make shepherds pie at some point this week but was so busy that I barely noticed the sun going down each day, signalling that maybe it was time to think about dinner! So we just ended up freezing some and having the rest with pasta (and then used the leftovers to make a pasta bake, which was also delicious!). I will have to update my 2020 recipe because I have discovered that adding miso to the sauce is a game changer. I would also recommend using a combination of black and red lentils. So good!

Drinking

So much TEA. I made a pot of green tea to keep me going one morning which I really enjoyed and will try to make a habit of. We restocked with our favourite T2s - Melbourne Breakfast, New York Breakfast, English Breakfast, Chai. Bengal Spice after 5pm. Sleepy Time before bed.

Watching

Did you catch my six months off social media video? :)

Snatch (Blu-Ray) - Tom had talked about this film for years but I’d never sat down and watched it with him. A gangster film is never going to be PC is it, but if you can get past that, it’s absolutely hilarious and great fun.

Star Trek Picard (Amazon Prime) - I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this. Star Trek fans such as my darling husband have long celebrated how the various series and movies hold a mirror up to the world we live in now, and I found this particularly so with this series. Some critics said such commentary was “unsubtle” but I disagree - I think the level of hatred, intolerance and dysfunction in our world is such that we can’t really afford to be subtle anymore. I especially loved Ito Aghayere as the younger Guinan (the character Whoopi Goldberg has played in other series) and wish she had been utilised more. When implored by Picard to give humanity another chance and be patient because change takes time, Guinan replies that, as a woman of colour, she doesn’t have the luxury of being patient for change. Picard, on the other hand, as a white man, does. Frankly, I think the world needs more “unsubtle” messages like that!

Wearing

This sweet hat and scarf knitted by my sister’s friend for my birthday. Much needed in these four degree afternoons we’ve been having! My cheeks are almost as pink as the hat and scarf, aren’t they?!

I’ve also been enjoying these deliciously warm Tradie Lady socks. I found them at the supermarket and they’re better than slippers.

Proud of

Tom for rocking his first class as a UTAS tutor!

My sister who gave me the hat and scarf, for many reasons.

A dear friend who has raised her son, my godson, alone and continues to meet every challenge of solo parenthood with grace and fortitude.

Myself, for being brave and applying for something that felt like a real stretch. But I refuse to let another year pass where I let imposter syndrome get the better of me.

My father, for giving a beautiful speech at his best friend’s wake.

Quote of the week

“He who is brave is free.” - Seneca. This one is for you Bob xx

If you’d like to share your thoughts on this post, or anything else, with me, please do! I hope you’re also finding things to savour and ponder, that give you both pause and joy.

message me