Philippa Moore's Blog, page 17

my favourite books of 2017

 

I can't be the only person rubbing their eyes and thinking "Oh God, how is it the end of February already?!"...but here I am. I've never really managed to do my best books post of the year in a timely fashion - but I'm determined to never let it get to August like I did several years ago. In my defence, I had spent all of that year writing my own book! 

This time, instead of doing a measly Top 10 which is always difficult to whittle down, I'm just going to pick my favourites and tell you why, in the hope that you'll be moved to check them out too.

So here goes, of the 83 books I read in 2017, these were the ones that stood out. And as always, because I read and savour them like novels, cookbooks are included. 

My favourite book of the year -  After by Nikki Gemmell

I am still reeling from this gaping wound of a book. Written in the aftermath of her mother's suicide, Nikki's words made me think long and hard about the relationship between a mother and daughter, how it can be so brutal and beautiful. After was absorbing, heartbreaking, thoughtful, tender, anguished and, as always, beautifully written. 

Fresh India by Meera Sodha

Absolutely stunning, and the first cookbook to make me feel hungry again after having the worst flu of my life over Christmas (sob!). I made the temple tomato rasam as a gentle reintroduction to solid food and it was exquisite. The smell of the garlic, ginger, chilli, cumin and curry leaves frying together was so restorative I almost wept. Every recipe of Meera Sodha's I've made - whether from this book or from her Guardian column - has been sensational so I'd highly recommend you check her out if you like to cook. 

The Dry by Jane Harper

I'd heard great things about this book and wasn't disappointed. Even though I'm not normally a crime fiction person, I've been reading more and more of them lately! The Dry was riveting and well-written, brilliantly paced and intricately plotted. I didn't see the twist coming, which is always a good sign. I found the portrait of the claustrophobic, drought-ridden country town very authentic too. 

When It Happens To You by Molly Ringwald

Yes, *that* Molly Ringwald - who is as compelling a storyteller with the written word as she is on screen and stage. I wasn't sure what to expect, but this "novel in stories" had me intrigued from the first page. Over the course of the book, through these stories where the lives of various characters (convincingly) intersect, Ringwald creates a world where these flawed but ultimately good people find their lives punctured by betrayal, in its various forms. It's realistic and compelling reading, and her writing has a lovely lyrical quality in places. The characters are brought to life beautifully, I particularly enjoyed Betty the neighbour, and how the philandering Phillip was welcomed back into his estranged family. It's a book that makes you think, not just about life and family and relationships, but how might you feel, as the title suggests, when it happens to you.

My Life in France by Julia Child (a re-read)

I re-read this last summer in preparation for my first trip to Paris in over seven years. This is one of my favourite books and this read of it reminded me why. It is just pure joy, from start to finish. Julia finds herself in a foreign country, not speaking the language, knowing very few people and wanting to discover her purpose in life. "At age thirty-seven, I was still discovering who I was," she writes. I feel very similarly! Her delight in discovering the pleasures of food and cooking, and her incredible work ethic and refusal to give up on a project she believed in wholeheartedly, is a balm for the soul for anyone feeling a little cynical or dejected. Never give up! 

Island in the East by Jenny Ashcroft

A luscious historical novel that has a bit of everything - love, war, betrayal, heartbreak, tragedy, redemption and hope - resulting in a sumptuous, evocative read with characters that will linger in your mind long after you've finished reading. And, at time of writing, it's only £1.99 on Kindle! 

Little Boy Lost by Marghanita Laski

I heard about this book on the Tea and Tattle podcast special Persephone Books episode, where Miranda and Sophie discussed their favourites. I read it in one weekend. It was absolutely breathtaking. It was desperately sad at times, even depressing, as it follows a father's journey to try and find his missing five-year-old- son after the Second World War, but all in all, it is a stunning novel about loss and hope. I'd even go so far as to say it's a masterpiece. 

The Christmas Chronicles by Nigel Slater

I think Nigel Slater could write a book about paint drying and it would still be a bestseller. This book is magnificently evocative and poetic in true Nigel style as he shares with us a celebration of his favourite time of year - Christmas, and winter in general. A cold Christmas is something I've wholeheartedly embraced living in the UK and for the very first time ever, I looked forward to winter after reading this book. All of his ideas - like enjoying a white port and tonic, in the same way you'd enjoy gin - are delicious and inspiring. A must-read for the colder months.

Between A Wolf And A Dog by Georgia Blain

Sometimes I think the best novels are those that are set over the course of just one day. Let's face it, a lot can happen. Between A Wolf And A Dog explores the goings on of one rainy day (and a little bit into the next) in Sydney, in the lives of several characters in one family, by blood and by marriage. Blain explores the pain and heartbreak of separation and betrayal, how life as we know it can be over in an instant, and captures the minutiae of life, from the sound of the rain falling to the colour of an enamel ring on a character's hand, with a poet's touch. The plight of one character's fate is all the more poignant knowing that Blain herself passed away not long after the novel was published. It's a wonderful book and hammers home all the more that the Australian literary community lost someone very special indeed with her passing.

Anything You Do Say by Gillian McAllister

A completely gripping and engrossing novel with two parallel narratives. In the style of Sliding Doors, you see two storylines playing out if the protagonist, Joanna, had made a different decision. That decision is whether to leave the scene of a crime, or to dial 999 and hand herself in. I was completely engrossed in this novel as the story played out and Joanna grappled with the aftermath of this incident in both scenarios. The anxiety, guilt and fear that she feels - in both storylines - is palpable and will have you turning the pages! It's the sort of story that certainly makes you wonder how you would react if you were ever in the same situation. At the time of writing, it's only 99p on Kindle which is an absolute bargain!

Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle

Having written a book about self-discovery after a marriage breakdown myself, I knew I'd enjoy this (and undoubtedly think "oh, she put that so much better than I did!"). I found it relatable on so many levels, not just the marriage breakdown side of things because ultimately this is a book about learning to save yourself, rather than a marriage, or anyone else. It's courageous and candid, and I'd highly recommend it if you've found yourself at a crossroads in life and need to see that it is possible to find your way through to the other side. 

Talking As Fast As I Can by Lauren Graham

A fabulous read - what a warm, witty writer Lauren Graham is. I especially liked the sections of the book that reflected on her own writing practice. It revolutionised my own writing practice last year and reacquainted me with the idea of good old fashioned discipline! Funny and inspiring.

Upstream by Mary Oliver

Normally I gulp books down in a day or two, sometimes hours, but occasionally one comes along that demands careful savouring. This was one of them. One of my favourite poets, Mary Oliver turns her exquisite touch to essays in this collection which covers everything from the creative life, meditations on the work of her own favourite writers like Poe and Whitman, or observing nature, such as a spider making a web in the stairwell of a rented house at 5am each day.  I love her boundless curiosity, and how she lives so thoughtfully and intelligently.

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg

One of the best books on grieving, trauma and healing that I've ever come across. Within just a few pages I was trying not to cry as Sheryl shared the terrible story of her husband's sudden death and the painful aftermath of it. It's a very readable and relatable book with lots of personal insight, research and practical advice - even, believe it or not, humour (she uses sarcasm to great effect in places!) - which anyone navigating a loss I'm sure will find helpful and of comfort.  It's a real tribute to human resilience. 

So, not a bad reading year....and my favourites only had one bloke (and a fabulous bloke at that) among them! In 2018 I'd like to read more British women writers and more women in translation. 

Have you read any of these books? What did you think? What were your favourite reads of last year? Do you have any goals for your reading this year? Do let me know!

The links to the books in this post are Amazon Affiliate links. 

whisky banana bread

If you have any black, spotty overripe bananas in the fruit bowl, you have to make this. Even the most feral bananas, minutes away from going in the compost, are transformed. 

I love this banana bread recipe. It's delicious, indulgent, low in sugar (though you'd never know to taste it) and - best of all - made with the minimum of equipment! Gemma Burgess got me on to the original Smitten Kitchen recipe and I've Phil-ified it a bit over the years to make it as low-fuss as possible. 

It doesn't matter how many bananas you use - I've even just used one, and it was great. Bear in the mind the more bananas you use, the wetter your mixture will be, so if you use 4 bananas, you might need to add a dash more flour to balance things out.

And the shot of whisky? Essential. It's the perfect use for that tiny bottle you got on the aeroplane. A whisky with sweeter notes is what you want here though - something too peaty and smoky like Laphroaig might not work! Alternatively, you can use rum - the darker the better. 

You can of course leave the alcohol out if you're avoiding it or don't like the taste - but the end product may not have the rich depths that the whisky provides. I must admit, I've never tried it without! 

Whisky banana bread

Based on Smitten Kitchen's recipe

2-4 ripe bananas, peeled and broken into chunks
Splash of almond milk (or regular milk)
75g unsalted butter
75-100g brown sugar (I usually use the 75g, depending on how many bananas I have)
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 shot (30ml) of whisky (I like Highland Park for this recipe - anything with a toffee-sweet finish)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground cardamom (or mixed spice)
A little freshly grated nutmeg (optional)
190g plain flour

Preheat the oven to 190 C (350 F). Line a loaf tin with baking paper or a special loaf wrapper like I've used in the picture (you can get them from supermarkets in the baking section). 

Puree the bananas and splash of almond milk together with a hand blender (or in an actual blender) and set aside. Alternatively, smash the bananas thoroughly with a fork if you don't have a blender.

In a large saucepan (which will also be your mixing bowl), melt the butter over a low heat. Once melted, remove from heat and add the pureed bananas, sugar, egg, vanilla and whisky. Mix until well combined.

Add the baking soda, salt, spices and, finally, the flour to the saucepan. Mix well but do not overbeat. 

Pour the mixture into the prepared tin and bake for about 45 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean. My oven is quite hot so I usually check it after 30 minutes. 

Allow to cool and then slice to serve. It's perfect any time of day with tea, coffee....maybe even whisky too. It also freezes well in individual slices if you want to put it in the freezer, away from temptation!

This recipe is so good I sometimes buy a few bananas and deliberately let them get overripe in the bowl, just so I can make this. I'm sure once you've tried it, you'll do the same.
 

tofu mushroom hotpot with miso and chilli

This dish isn't exactly instagrammable (is any brown food?) but if you're after moreish and delicious vegetarian winter comfort food that's also good for you, it doesn't come much better than this! It's also perfect to serve to people who claim they hate mushrooms (aka my husband). Add more chilli, garlic, ginger and miso to your own taste.

TOFU MUSHROOM HOTPOT WITH MISO AND CHILLI

Makes 4 hearty helpings

300g white or chestnut mushrooms

2 cloves garlic

3/4 inch long piece of fresh ginger

3 spring onions

1 x 396g pack firm tofu (preferably organic)

1 tablespoon groundnut oil/coconut oil/chilli oil/garlic oil

2 leeks, washed and sliced

2 medium courgettes, sliced

1 tablespoon minced chilli or chilli paste (I like Gochujang - Korean chilli paste), more if you like it hot

4 tablespoons miso paste (Hikari red or brown is very good, and vegetarian)

850ml vegetable stock

Brown rice vinegar, to taste

Tamari, to taste

Two rough handfuls of spinach leaves

Sesame oil or chilli oil, to serve

Steamed rice, to serve

Pulse mushrooms, garlic, ginger and spring onions in a food processor until it resembles mince. If you don't have a food processor, get one. Or just chop everything finely and set aside :)

Drain the tofu from the packaging, patting off the excess liquid with a paper towel. Cut the block of tofu in half through the middle (as you might cut a sponge cake to prepare it for its filling) and then into roughly 2cm sized cubes. Set aside.

In a large pan, heat the oil over medium heat then add the leeks and courgettes. Cook for a few minutes until they begin to soften (but not colour too much). Add the minced mushroom mixture, increase the heat slightly and stir until combined. Add the minced chilli/chilli paste and miso paste, stir until combined and cook for a minute or two until fragrant. Add a splash of water (or even cooking sherry if you have it handy) if it starts to stick.

Add the tofu pieces, stirring gently to combine, then add the vegetable stock, again stirring gently to ensure everything is mixed in. Bring to the boil, then reduce to a simmer. Cover and simmer for 20 minutes or until everything is cooked through and the broth is flavoursome. Taste it - you may want to add more miso or chilli. A few minutes before you want to eat, add some handfuls of spinach, stir and simmer until the leaves are wilted. Add a splash of brown rice vinegar and/or tamari, to your taste.

Serve in bowls with steamed rice to soak up the delicious broth/sauce. Drizzle each portion with a little bit of sesame or chilli oil.

An excellent savoury muffin

Since my last visit to Australia, I've picked up a rather serious savoury muffin habit. It seems I'm not alone in this, as I encountered many savoury muffin admirers in my homeland - in fact, the woman behind me in a queue in a Melbourne bakery huffed and stomped out when I ordered the last one (hashtag, issues). But it was a bloody good muffin so perhaps she had a point.

SMs aren't really a thing in the UK, I've found. At least, if Miranda Hart's reaction is anything to go by:

via GIPHY

But, Miranda, savoury muffins are anything but disappointing! 

This is my foolproof recipe, and I tried a lot of them in my quest to recreate the one I tried in that Melbourne bakery (and inadvertently ruined someone's day over. I hope she recovered).

I highly recommend procuring a kingsize muffin tin and those cute little brown wrappers. They make the job much easier and also you get a giant muffin! But a normal 12 muffin tin will do just as well, they'll just be gone in two bites.

Phil's savoury muffins

Makes 6 Texas-sized muffins, or 12 normal

300ml buttermilk OR 200g natural yoghurt plus 100ml milk (you can also sub creme fraiche for yoghurt)
60ml olive oil (I have used normal and extra virgin, both are good)
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon bicarbonate of soda
1 teaspoon sea salt
1 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1/2 teaspoon dried herbs of choice (I like basil, oregano or thyme)
200g savoury ingredients (my favourite combination is finely chopped fresh parsley, finely chopped red pepper, cubes of feta and cubes of roasted squash or sweet potato but you could use anything really)
Optional: 6 (or 12) cubes mature cheddar, for a surprise middle

Preheat your oven to 200 C/fan 180 C/Gas Mark 6. Line your muffin tray with paper cases.

Place the buttermilk/yoghurt and milk in a bowl with the oil and egg. Combine together with a fork.

Add the dry ingredients to the wet mixture, stirring well to ensure no dry pockets. Have a light touch and try not to overwork the mixture. It will be a bit lumpy but don't despair, everything's going to be wonderful.

Fold your savoury ingredients in.

Spoon a small smount of mixture into each case, place a cube of cheddar on top of each one, and then cover with remaining mixture. If you're missing out the cheesy middle, just distribute the entire mixture evenly between the cases.

Bake for 25-30 minutes until the muffins are golden brown.

Marvel at your willpower to let them cool in the tin briefly once you remove them from the oven. Then transfer to a wire rack or board to cool. They are lovely eaten warm but I also like them as a portable snack the next day, as the melted cheese will have re-solidified and it's a bit like eating cold pizza, which we all know is one of life's most delectable treats.

I like them with a little butter when warm, but find butter is unnecessary when they're cold. But each to their own.

They freeze well and last up to a week in a tin....so I'm told.

 

what I've learned from meditating for 250 days in a row

"Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid." - Fredrich Buechner

Apart from brushing my teeth, drinking coffee and telling Tom I love him, I don't think I've ever done anything every day for such a sustained period of time.

But on Saturday, Insight Timer* told me I had just meditated for 250 days in a row.

How does that feel, you might ask?

It's hard to explain, but I guess a rambling blog post is a good place to try. I don't know if I feel calmer - and calm was definitely something I wanted to feel more of this time last year, when my old friend anxiety had moved back in. After 250 consecutive days of meditation, if anything I think I feel my emotions more.

But perhaps the difference is knowing I *can* sit with them, and they will pass. I no longer feel afraid of anger, sadness or loneliness. All things I used to avoid feeling if I possibly could.

I don't feel at one with the Universe. There have been no giant revelations or moments of enlightenment. But there has been a clearing, of sorts. I do feel like I know my mind better. 

I have become more conscious of things in my life - and within myself - that I'd like (and need) to change. 

When you force yourself to get still at least once a day, you slowly learn how to switch your mind off, even if it's only for a few seconds at a time.

Those moments - those fleeting, precious seconds when I am actually not thinking and am just there, all breath, in my body and all I can hear are cars on the street, or the rattle and creak of the floorboards, or the wind or birds outside, or the oven warming up, or my neighbour leaving for the day, and my mind is empty and quiet, and I can feel the quietness of it - are bliss.

I meditate for an average of 10 minutes at a time. Occasionally I do 20 minutes, like I did this morning. I'd like to build up to more. That feeling - where everything drops away and I witness my mind emptying and getting still - has only ever lasted for a few seconds, so far. I've never been able to maintain it for very long but those few seconds are always worth it. They make me think "ah, this is the point of it all."

Meditation has helped me find ways to relax, to check in, to be in the present throughout the day, not just when I've got the app timer running. When you force yourself to stop and just be where you are right now, you start to realise how much of our mind's energy is spent fretting over the past and the future. 

Stress has not vanished from my life because I've been meditating every day. If anything, I'm more aware of how stress feels in my body. But when that happens, I employ a breathing technique which clears the mind and helps me relax. 

Meditation has helped me to be (slightly) more patient with and forgiving of myself, which I hope will translate into my interactions with others. 

It's become a wonderful way to start the day. I meditate before I do anything - no checking my phone first, and ideally immediately afterward I write in my journal or do Morning Pages (but that doesn't always happen). Once I've meditated, I go into the kitchen and find Tom has made a coffee for me (and unloaded the dishwasher!) and sit there, taking in the taste of the coffee, feeling reset for the day, my senses heightened.

Meditation has helped me feel more peaceful and content in my heart. Every time I hear the closing bell, I feel reassured that I'm a good person doing my best, trying to be kind, improve and move forward.

And that's worth making time for each day.

So what if instead of fearing the power of dark thoughts, we used our minds’ power to create safe havens within ourselves to explore them. Maybe literally envisioning cocoons inside our hearts where we can sit before cozy fires, hot drinks in hand, and ask of our fear and laziness and depression and shame and lust and rage and whatever other thing we might otherwise try to ignore: What is it you’d like to say to me? What indispensable nourishment do you have for the Life of trust I want to live? – Kristen Noelle (via Leonie Wise)

 

* Insight Timer is a free app and is the one I use based on recommendations from friends and well-wishers. I absolutely love it and am not being paid to mention it in any way! I just wanted to share because it has genuinely improved my life. 

 

things i like to do [video]

Following on from last week, I've now finished this week's MAKE FILMS assignment. Here is a little video about one of my favourite things to do....gardening. Specifically, growing vegetables and fruit - and then cooking and eating what I grow! 

I'm really lucky to have a garden (a rarity in London) so I don't take it for granted and am grateful for every bean, potato, tomato and stalk of rhubarb my little patch has produced so far.

Learning to garden has been very much a trial and error thing for me - sometimes I have successes, but more often than not things don't go according to plan! 

The greatest lesson gardening has taught me - which I try to apply to life in general - is that you have to let go of the things you can't control. You might take every precaution necessary to protect your plants from squirrels, slugs and birds, but then there might be a drought, or a storm, or you'll pick something or dig something up too early, and all your work is down the drain. You can't take these things personally, but merely chalk it up to experience, process the lessons for next time, and move on. 

It's also one of the most absorbing, calming, lose-yourself-in-the-moment tasks I can think of. Time stops for a while and you find yourself talking to your basil plants or watching in fascination as bees, pollen drunk, float from flower to flower. 

I'm always learning, trying to go with the flow of nature and the seasons, and every now and then there's a delicious triumph. 

Happiness comes with a bit of dirt under the nails, I think. 

PS: Turn the sound on for music - and spray bottle sound effects! Music is 'Take Me Higher' by Jahzzar - http://betterwithmusic.com/

scenes from the weekend [video]

I made a film! 

I'm taking Xanthe Berkeley's marvellous MAKE FILMS course, which I highly recommend, and this was our first assignment - "Scenes from the weekend" (make sure you put the sound on to hear the music!).

Tom and I went to a favourite (and lively) part of London where we took in Broadway Market, Columbia Road, Shoreditch and Brick Lane, so I had masses of footage by the end of Saturday afternoon.

There's something for everyone in this video - street art! Hot and jellied eels! Goats! Beer! Drums! Frida Kahlo!

Film-making is a very new medium for me. I'm completely out of my comfort zone, but I can see why people find it addictive. This was so much fun to film and edit together, so I hope you like it.

adventures in meditation, part one

Every year, I've made a resolution to learn to meditate and start a meditation practice.

I've been making that resolution for about nine years, maybe longer.

The reason I kept trying? Because every interview with or profile of anyone I admire - whether they're a writer, a public figure, an entrepreneur, or just a generally enlightened and content person - usually mentions meditation in some way. That it is key to their creative practice, to balance, to keeping calm, to staying sane. That it opens the door between the person they are, or have to be in the world, and the person they want to be.

At the start of this year, a friend gifted me Danielle LaPorte's The Desire Map, a much-spoken of phenomena in the online world that gets a lot of traction around New Year, and with good reason - it's a pretty effective system for driving down into what you really want for your life.  One of the activities is 'Core Desired Feelings' and after much excavation and brainstorming, two of my four were 'calm' and 'wise'.

Much of the work in programmes like this centres very much around action and sovereignty when it comes to what you want to happen in your life. In other words, what do you have to do to feel the way you want to feel? What is something you can do, that is within your control, right now to get you closer to where you want to be?

The answer for those two particular desires I had identified in myself was.....meditate.

So, around the same time I did the Desire Map work, I began experimenting with meditation with the help of a wonderful (and free!) app I highly recommend called Insight Timer. This is the moment to tell you this is not a sponsored post, in any way, I just love this app! I think Laura might have recommended it to me too.

The app was great. But instantly I was reminded of why I had abandoned all previous attempts - because my mind was so manic, it wouldn't focus. I could barely get through 60 seconds.

"Just focus on your breath" - sounds easy, am I right? Wrong.  

After many months now, the trick that has helped me the most in learning to meditate has been thinking of my mind as a puppy in training. What do you say to a puppy when you're trying to teach it? 

"Stay."

So every time I notice my mind wandering in meditation, as it always does, I call it to heel like I would an adorable puppy. Hearing the word "stay" does jolt my mind back to the task at hand. A few breaths and it will stay, like a good mind. Then it wanders off again, and I gently grab it by the collar and lead it back. 

It's a nice metaphor, when it works! But my mind isn't always a cute puppy that comes back obediently when it's called. Sometimes meditation for me is like finding the puppy has destroyed the couch, chewed your favourite books and done its business everywhere. Moments like those, I set the timer for 2 minutes and that has to be enough. Miraculously, those 2 minutes do the trick. 

The benefits of meditation are seeping into other aspects of my life too. I find I'm calmer in general, able to let things go a lot faster than I used to. I get pissed off, of course but I allow myself to feel it, for five or ten minutes and then, frankly, I get bored and move on! I've also found I'm sleeping better thanks to meditation, even when I'm anxious. Even when I wake up for no reason and can't get back to sleep - the anger and panic at only being 5 hours away from the alarm going off, and then 4, and so on, has dissipated dramatically. I find that I can rest in those moments, even if I don't go back to sleep straight away. 

I meditated for 53 days straight over March and April, usually in the evenings, after work, before bed. It seemed to be working. I had gone from barely being able to do 5 minutes to doing guided meditations for half an hour or more. I was on a roll!

But then I lost my winning streak thanks to just one stressful and busy day at the end of April, where making time to meditate merely slipped my mind. Hardly a major crime. But over the next few days, I had one day on, one day off, and it just didn't work. Perhaps the practice hadn't been so carefully carved out as I thought. I found myself feeling really out of sorts and realised that meditation had come to be an essential part of my routine, like perfume, caffeine and morning pages. I didn't feel myself without it. Much like running. 

It didn't matter that I'd fallen off the wagon. In fact, there was no wagon. It's a practice. I just had to start again. 

Meditation has become part of my daily routine. My rule is "meditation before social media", which means I meditate as soon as I wake up, happily filling the space between being conscious and the coffee being ready.

I didn't expect it to change my life, but it really has. 

"Meditation is not a means to an end. It is both the means and the end." – Jiddu Krishnamurti

More on this subject to come, as I feel it will be quite an adventure, as the post title hints! 

Do you meditate regularly? How do you find it?

the writer's garden

"The soil is warming. We gardeners grow ever more watchful, sniffing the air as excitedly as beagles, peering into the vegetation to detect those first thrilling signs of life. Is that a distance haze of green? Wait: did you hear birdsong? At long long last, after months of enforced dormancy, we tell ourselves it might be time to begin." - Charlotte Mendelson, "Rhapsody in Green"

The last weekend in March, I planted early potatoes. A week later, the rhubarb we'd given up for dead did a Jesus and came back to life, the blueberry bush began sprouting green leaves and the cherry tree exploded in pink blossoms.

Tom and I went out for a run and came back to a generous bag of horse manure on the front step, gift of our mechanic, also a keen gardener who told me rhubarb loves horse manure and he had a reliable local source.

My packets of seeds have been out on the bench for the last few weekends, waiting for the right, ripe moment to sow as April marches into May.

As Charlotte Mendelson writes in her lovely book of essays, this is such a nice time of year to be a gardener - a time where hope triumphs over experience, where we sow and are thrilled by the potential, like applying for a job we really want - you send your CV off, put the seed in the ground, and for a while, anything can happen. It's a lovely feeling.

Today I planted french beans and courgettes (zucchini), and there is a tomato plant on my kitchen windowsill. The cherry blossoms are falling and fading, to make way for the green leaves and fruit. The potatoes are thriving. The rhubarb is Trump-like in its determination to beat all the odds and completely take over. 

I love my garden. I hope it will be an abundant year, in every sense.

art thrives on restrictions

“I think there’s something to be said for making movies faster, rather than slower. I think that the years that are now consumed in obtaining a green light and the funding for a movie, and the amount of rewriting that scripts undergo, overcooks them to the point where a lot of times spontaneousness and a sort-of short-order cooking is lost. Something happens that robs them of a certain spontaneity, and when we were writing at breakneck speed, and turning things around really fast there is a kind of energy and enthusiasm that I think is sometimes lost when you have too much time. Art thrives on restrictions, and it’s not just money that can be restricted to good effect, it’s also sometimes time and the fact that we didn’t have enough time to second-guess ourselves may have worked to the film’s advantage.”

- Nicholas Meyer, Writer/Director of Star Trek VI