Sharon Astyk's Blog, page 3

How Long Should Kids Stay in Foster Care?

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption has done more to get kids in care adopted than just about anyone else – their facebook page and websites have done a lot to draw attention to the needs of kids for families. The biggest new face of foster adoption comes from an adoptive family that put up an image that has theiradorable little girl holding up a sign saying “I was in Foster Care for 751 Days But Today I got Adopted!” The image has been liked almost a million times, and the site’s FB page...

Baby Goats in Baskets

We had a fence crisis this summer, and for two days had no good containment for our bucks. As is entirely predictable, we also then had a spate of baby goats beginning New Years Day.

Now there is a good reason why most people in the Northeast do not plan goat births for January unless they have heated barns – the week the babies were born involved extreme cold – we had -28F here one night, and weeks where we rarely left the single digits. And to our sorrow, we did lose three babies, but the ma...

How To Have Sex as a Foster Parent

. This, of course, presumes you have a partner. I have NO CLUE how people foster and date at the same time, but am awed that anyone pulls it off.>

1. Determine that tonight will be the night. It has been way too long, right? Way, way, WAY too long. Set jaw. Bring out sense of determination usually used for prying tantruming child out of the candy aisle or extracting expensive but necessary supports into your child’s educational plan. Put your back into it.

2. Ice back.

3. Consider how to get al...

Our Family Discusses Love, Favoritism and Fur

Yesterday morning Isaiah (10) asked me with a grin on his face: “Which one of us is your FAVORITE child?”

My answer “None of you. I like Rubeus best. He’s quiet, and soft, never talks to me, and takes care of almost all his own needs.”

D. (11) “But he’s not a kid, he’s a cat.”

Me: “Shhh…you’ll make him feel bad. He’s my baby too.”

D. “But you aren’t a cat and you didn’t give birth to him.”

Me: “I didn’t give birth to you either, and just because you don’t look like me doesn’t make you not my baby....

18 Months Ago Today…

…on a sticky, sweaty afternoon in July, I received a call from the head of homefinding from my local county social services agency. These are the folks whose job it is to find homes for kids who come into foster care. A two-day old newborn boy was being removed from the hospital, because of mental health issues in his mother. ”I know you didn’t even want a baby, but it is only for two weeks. Can you pick him up by 4pm?” (It was 2pm already)

Earlier that day I had emailed another worker to say...

Why I Won’t Do the Food Stamp Challenge

In the last few years, a number of political leaders have tried to live on a food stamps budget. Among others Newark Mayor and political heir-apparent Cory Booker and current and former governors of Colorado and Oregon. Some have done so to draw attention to the limitations of food stamps, others with the intent of proving that their benefit is sufficient. A number of writers have done so too, as have celebrity chefs and others. A number of people have asked me to do it as well, and I’ve alwa...

My Least Favorite Questions About my Kids (And the Answers I Don’t Usually Have the Nerve to Give)

My family looks pretty different, and it gets a lot of attention. The vast majority is positive, and most of the rest is just curious or wondering – but every now and then someone says something REALLY stupid, unkind or offensive. A lot of the time, if the kids don’t hear it, I let it go. If they say it in front of the kids, I sometimes take them to task. And sometimes, I give free rein to my sarcastic side.

(Note, some of these questions are not, in and of themselves, that offensive, and so d...

Feeding My Army

It is only on really stressful days when I refer to them as my unholy army of the night. The rest of the time, at least at meals, it is just “my army” and we really do go through a stunning amount of food.

For example, in late August, right around the time this photo was taken (I can’t usually post pictures of my kids, but this one, with no faces visible is ok – from left, R., Q., Z., and K., our four little ones who at the time ranged from 13 months to 3 1/2), I counted – we went through fou...

What’s the Connection Between Foster Care and the Ecological Stuff?

A reader sends me a letter and gives me permission to reprint it here, because I suspect he’s not the only one with this question:

“I think what you are doing with your family is great, but I feel like you’ve moved away from peak oil and climate change to write about foster care, and I don’t see a connection. I feel bad saying it, but I miss the old stuff. Is there a connection I’m not seeing?”

In some measure this is just a fair cop, in that my subject matter HAS changed as I’ve spent more tim...

What Are you Cooking Now? Soup Edition.

The fall cool-down has come here, and it is time for soup. My kids’ current favorite is Portugese style Chick-pea, Garlic, Potato and Sausage, although they liked the vegetarian lentil version I made yesterday when we were out of chicken broth, chick peas and sausage .

It is a simple soup – I’ll give it to you in smaller quantities than we make for our 10 person home. Sautee 3 onions and two heads (yes, that’s heads) of garlic until softened. Add sliced up sausage and cook ( a small amount is...