Michael Swanwick's Blog, page 98
June 15, 2017
Bloomsday!
.
In Plato's Myth of Er, you will recall, he told how in the afterlife, the Greek heroes were given their choice of lives to be reincarnated in. Most chose lives of glory and heroism. Orpheus chose to be a swan, Agamemnon an eaglle, and Ajax, a lion. Odysseus, wiser than the rest, sought carefully until he found the life of an ordinary and undistinguished man.
Over two and a half millennia later, James Joyce wrote of exactly such a man as Odysseus aspired to be -- Leopold Bloom. His Odyssey of a single day Joyce recounted in Ulysses.
That day was June 16, now known to bookish people around the world as Bloomsday. In Philadelphia, Bloomsday is celebrated by the Rosenbach Museum which possesses the manuscript of Ulysses. Here's what they say on their website:
And tomorrow I will be one of the readers!
If you care to hear my five minutes of local fame, I'll be reading at 5:05 p.m. But, really, if you're local and have the free time, you should just show up anytime and be happy. It's a public celebration of a work of literature! What could be more pleasant?
The Rosenbach is located at 2008-2010 Delancey Place in Philadelphia. If you've never seen their collection, you really should.
You can find more detailed information on this free event here.
Or you can check out the museum's main page here.
*
In Plato's Myth of Er, you will recall, he told how in the afterlife, the Greek heroes were given their choice of lives to be reincarnated in. Most chose lives of glory and heroism. Orpheus chose to be a swan, Agamemnon an eaglle, and Ajax, a lion. Odysseus, wiser than the rest, sought carefully until he found the life of an ordinary and undistinguished man.
Over two and a half millennia later, James Joyce wrote of exactly such a man as Odysseus aspired to be -- Leopold Bloom. His Odyssey of a single day Joyce recounted in Ulysses.
That day was June 16, now known to bookish people around the world as Bloomsday. In Philadelphia, Bloomsday is celebrated by the Rosenbach Museum which possesses the manuscript of Ulysses. Here's what they say on their website:
The Rosenbach celebrates the Joycean tradition annually on Bloomsday, June 16. Bloomsday, the only international holiday in recognition of a work of art, brings scholars, devotees, and the general public together on Delancey Place for a day of dramatic readings from the novel. The Rosenbach also produces a special exhibition related to Joyce and Ulysses, drawing from its substantial collection of modern literary materials.
And tomorrow I will be one of the readers!
If you care to hear my five minutes of local fame, I'll be reading at 5:05 p.m. But, really, if you're local and have the free time, you should just show up anytime and be happy. It's a public celebration of a work of literature! What could be more pleasant?
The Rosenbach is located at 2008-2010 Delancey Place in Philadelphia. If you've never seen their collection, you really should.
You can find more detailed information on this free event here.
Or you can check out the museum's main page here.
*
June 12, 2017
And It's Done!
.
Look what I have made with my own two hands!
On April 4, 2012, I wrote the first 185 words of what would eventually become The Iron Dragon's Mother. Today, I finished the novel and the trilogy that I didn't set out to write.
When The Iron Dragon's Daughter was first published in 1993, it was intended to be a stand-alone novel. Then, ten years later, Marvin Kaye hit me up at a convention for a dragon story for his anthology, The Dragon Quartet. "I don't have any ideas for a dragon story," I told him. "But if I think of one, I'll send it to you."
In the strange way that such things sometimes happen, I went home, sat down at the computer, and immediately came up with an idea for a dragon story. And when "King Dragon" (published in 2003) was complete, I recognized that it was the opening segment for a new novel. Thus, The Dragons of Babel, which was first published in 2008.
When you have one book set in an imaginary world, it's a novel. When you have two, it's an unfinished trilogy. So I found myself in a situation similar to that of the guy who lives downstairs from a pooka and is waiting for the third shoe to drop.
The protagonist of the first book, Jane Alderberry, was in a world where she did not belong and so, no matter what she tried, she could not find a place for herself. The protagonist of the second, Will Le Fey, was a native of Faerie, and so he had to find a place for himself. I was an English major... I can recognize Thesis and Antithesis when it stares me in the face. So I knew there had to be a third novel and that it had embody Synthesis. But I had no idea what that might be.
Until five years ago.
And now the trilogy is done. At a good guess, I probably began writing The Iron Dragon's Daughter in 1991. So it's taken me 26 years to write my trilogy.
I cannot help noting that Tolkien's trilogy only took him 12.
*
Look what I have made with my own two hands!
On April 4, 2012, I wrote the first 185 words of what would eventually become The Iron Dragon's Mother. Today, I finished the novel and the trilogy that I didn't set out to write.
When The Iron Dragon's Daughter was first published in 1993, it was intended to be a stand-alone novel. Then, ten years later, Marvin Kaye hit me up at a convention for a dragon story for his anthology, The Dragon Quartet. "I don't have any ideas for a dragon story," I told him. "But if I think of one, I'll send it to you."
In the strange way that such things sometimes happen, I went home, sat down at the computer, and immediately came up with an idea for a dragon story. And when "King Dragon" (published in 2003) was complete, I recognized that it was the opening segment for a new novel. Thus, The Dragons of Babel, which was first published in 2008.
When you have one book set in an imaginary world, it's a novel. When you have two, it's an unfinished trilogy. So I found myself in a situation similar to that of the guy who lives downstairs from a pooka and is waiting for the third shoe to drop.
The protagonist of the first book, Jane Alderberry, was in a world where she did not belong and so, no matter what she tried, she could not find a place for herself. The protagonist of the second, Will Le Fey, was a native of Faerie, and so he had to find a place for himself. I was an English major... I can recognize Thesis and Antithesis when it stares me in the face. So I knew there had to be a third novel and that it had embody Synthesis. But I had no idea what that might be.
Until five years ago.
And now the trilogy is done. At a good guess, I probably began writing The Iron Dragon's Daughter in 1991. So it's taken me 26 years to write my trilogy.
I cannot help noting that Tolkien's trilogy only took him 12.
*
June 7, 2017
Touring Finland: Atelier Bar (Helsinki)
.
The Atelier -- in Finnish, Ateljee -- Bar is a rooftop bar atop the Hotel Torni is known primarily for two things. First, it has the best view in all Helsinki. This is because, until the Skywheel Helsinki Ferris wheel was built, it was the highest spot in all Helsinki. The other is because the ladies room, one floor down, has huge windows. I haven't seen them myself, but Marianne assures me they're worth the trip.
Neither of those is why I recommend you visit the Atelier, however. I recommend it because in Cold War times, it was a notorious spy bar.
Are there really such things as spy bars? A former spy I know assures me that there are. On first being told of the Atelier Bar, I had my doubts. But when I actually went there, I realize that if you were a spy, whatever your cover story might be you were passing as the sort of person who could not resist drinking there.
I vividly remember sitting in the Atelier, drinking absinthe while being interviewed for a Finnish fanzine. It was a beautiful day. The tile roofs on the buildings below were bright orange. The alleyways between them were narrow and black.
Looking down on them, I felt cunning and ruthless.
And I'm told...
Supposedly, the Ateljee Bar makes an appearance in one of Len Deighton's spy novels. I've never tracked down the scene myself. But if you can, it might be worth taking a copy with you and reading it while sipping on an appropriate drink.
Whisky, most likely.
Above: Image swiped from Crawl Pal, which has other good suggestions for things to see in Stockholm. You can find those suggestions here.
*
The Atelier -- in Finnish, Ateljee -- Bar is a rooftop bar atop the Hotel Torni is known primarily for two things. First, it has the best view in all Helsinki. This is because, until the Skywheel Helsinki Ferris wheel was built, it was the highest spot in all Helsinki. The other is because the ladies room, one floor down, has huge windows. I haven't seen them myself, but Marianne assures me they're worth the trip.
Neither of those is why I recommend you visit the Atelier, however. I recommend it because in Cold War times, it was a notorious spy bar.
Are there really such things as spy bars? A former spy I know assures me that there are. On first being told of the Atelier Bar, I had my doubts. But when I actually went there, I realize that if you were a spy, whatever your cover story might be you were passing as the sort of person who could not resist drinking there.
I vividly remember sitting in the Atelier, drinking absinthe while being interviewed for a Finnish fanzine. It was a beautiful day. The tile roofs on the buildings below were bright orange. The alleyways between them were narrow and black.
Looking down on them, I felt cunning and ruthless.
And I'm told...
Supposedly, the Ateljee Bar makes an appearance in one of Len Deighton's spy novels. I've never tracked down the scene myself. But if you can, it might be worth taking a copy with you and reading it while sipping on an appropriate drink.
Whisky, most likely.
Above: Image swiped from Crawl Pal, which has other good suggestions for things to see in Stockholm. You can find those suggestions here.
*
June 6, 2017
The Man With No Name
Moby Dick is a seafaring tale. One of the men, the narrator, says, "Call me Ishmael." Somebody asks him where he's from, and he says, "It's not down on any map. True places never are." Stubb gives no significance to anything, says everything is predestined. Ishmael's been on a sailing ship his entire life. Calls the sailing ships his Harvard and Yale. He keeps his distance from people.
Did you get that? There's a man with no name from a place that's realer than real and not on any map. Wherever he is, that's where he's always been. Whatever he's doing is foreordained. No one can say they truly know him. Underestimated, barely noted, he descends out of nowhere upon the Pequod . When he leaves, everyone behind him is dead.
Have you guessed his name? Do you see what "Ishmael" has in common with Clint Eastwood in Sergio Leone's Man With No Name movies? In Cosmic Trigger , Robert Anton Wilson gave the game away. The man has no name, he wrote, because he is Death.
Ishmael is still out there today, walking down a dusty road somewhere, on the way from a place that's not on any map to a destination he will not share. And he's headed this way.
You can read the speech in its entirety here.
And as always...
I'm on the road again. I'll let you know about my adventures when I get there.
*
June 5, 2017
Touring Finland: Rock Church (Helsinki)
.
So you're going to Worldcon 75 in Helsinki, and you're thinking of staying over to see Finland. Good decision! You won't regret it.
I am far from being expert at touring Finland. But I did spend a week wandering about it once and had a fabulous time. So I'm starting an occasional series of posts on things to see in that beautiful land.
Today: Temppeliaukio Church in the heart of Helsinki, at the end of Fredrikinkatu. Also known as Rock Church. In 1969, the church was blasted and jackhammered into a rocky knoll surrounded by lovely old buildings. The result is very modern, with raw stone walls vaulted by a copper dome that seems to float overhead.
How you respond to this depends largely on how you feel about modern architecture. The French, I am told, take one glance and run screaming into the outer darkness, appalled by the lack of ornamentation, gilt, carved cherubs, and the like. But there are usually Japanese tourists present, sitting in reverent admiration of the austere simplicity and beauty of the space.
The rock walls and copper ceiling, as it turns out, combine to create ravishing acoustics and, as a result, many concerts are held there. It is also much in demand as practice space.
When Marianne and I first arrived in Helsinki, dragging our wheeled suitcases behind us, our friend Tino insisted that we go several blocks out of our way to see the church. We did, and when we walked in, discovered an ensemble of 19 trombones practicing a piece which, in retrospect, we decided must have been composed by Arvo Pärt. It was a magical introduction to a country which is, let's not forget, the home of the Kalevala .
Thank you, Tino.
*
So you're going to Worldcon 75 in Helsinki, and you're thinking of staying over to see Finland. Good decision! You won't regret it.
I am far from being expert at touring Finland. But I did spend a week wandering about it once and had a fabulous time. So I'm starting an occasional series of posts on things to see in that beautiful land.
Today: Temppeliaukio Church in the heart of Helsinki, at the end of Fredrikinkatu. Also known as Rock Church. In 1969, the church was blasted and jackhammered into a rocky knoll surrounded by lovely old buildings. The result is very modern, with raw stone walls vaulted by a copper dome that seems to float overhead.
How you respond to this depends largely on how you feel about modern architecture. The French, I am told, take one glance and run screaming into the outer darkness, appalled by the lack of ornamentation, gilt, carved cherubs, and the like. But there are usually Japanese tourists present, sitting in reverent admiration of the austere simplicity and beauty of the space.
The rock walls and copper ceiling, as it turns out, combine to create ravishing acoustics and, as a result, many concerts are held there. It is also much in demand as practice space.
When Marianne and I first arrived in Helsinki, dragging our wheeled suitcases behind us, our friend Tino insisted that we go several blocks out of our way to see the church. We did, and when we walked in, discovered an ensemble of 19 trombones practicing a piece which, in retrospect, we decided must have been composed by Arvo Pärt. It was a magical introduction to a country which is, let's not forget, the home of the Kalevala .
Thank you, Tino.
*
June 2, 2017
The World Is So Full Of A Number Of Things...
.
I'm working on the final draft of my novel, going up and down the pages looking for typos and infelicities of phrasing or thought. Which is why I have been so terribly remiss in keeping this blog updated.
Mea culpa, and I'll be done soon.
Meanwhile, life goes on. So I have a more than a week's worth of news for you. As ensue:
1. The Liars Club Oddcast
I was interviewed by a group of merry pranksters from Philadelphia's own Liars Club (that most
admirable of all writers' organizations, one that doesn't distinguish between genres and mainstream) for their podcast -- or Oddcast, as they call it.
As a rule, I cannot bring myself to listen to listen to my own interviews. But Marianne and Sean say that it came out well. Certainly, there was a great deal of fun and laughter. Because -- and here's a dark secret that no one else will tell you -- most writers are fun-loving, upbeat people. Shh!
At the end of the interview, I was challenged to present my hosts with two truths and one lie and let them guess which was the untruth. Did I fool them? There's only one way to find out.
You can find the Liars Club Oddcast main page here, which let's you choose iTunes or Stitcher or iHeart Radio as options for listening.
2. The Iron Dragon's Daughter E-Book Sale
Amazon has selected The Iron Dragon's Daughter as a Kindle Monthly Deal throughout June. The ebook will be downpriced to 1.99 at Amazon.com for the entire month, With so many ebook sales being one-day pop-ups, this is a surprisingly generous deal.
So... much praise to Open Road Media for arranging this.
3. I Am Returning to China!
I have been invited to the Fourth China International SF Conference in Chengdu, Sechuan Province, China this coming 10th-12th of November..
I accepted, of course. I love China, I love Chengdu, and this is a very exciting time for Chinese science fiction. Also, and best of all, I'll get to see some of my Chinese friends again. So this was an extremely easy decision to make.
I'll almost certainly be blogging from Chengdu when the time comes.
4. The Photo Above
Not everything, mirabile dictu, is about me. When I was at the Nebula Awards Weekend in Pittsburgh, I snapped the above shot.
This requires a little context. The guest speaker for the awards banquet was astronaut Dr. Kjell Lindgrin. During the signing event, I was standing by Joe Haldeman's table, talking with his wife Gay when Kjell came up with his phone in his hand and the above picture loaded into it. While he was waiting his turn to show the picture to Joe, he explained what it was and, very quickly, I asked if I could take a snap.
What you see above you is a copy of The Forever War afloat inside the International Space Station.
Wow.
And that's all for this week. There'll be more news soon. And, knock on wood, more often.
Above: See how casually that's held. What a wondrous time in which we live!
*
I'm working on the final draft of my novel, going up and down the pages looking for typos and infelicities of phrasing or thought. Which is why I have been so terribly remiss in keeping this blog updated.
Mea culpa, and I'll be done soon.
Meanwhile, life goes on. So I have a more than a week's worth of news for you. As ensue:
1. The Liars Club Oddcast
I was interviewed by a group of merry pranksters from Philadelphia's own Liars Club (that most
admirable of all writers' organizations, one that doesn't distinguish between genres and mainstream) for their podcast -- or Oddcast, as they call it.
As a rule, I cannot bring myself to listen to listen to my own interviews. But Marianne and Sean say that it came out well. Certainly, there was a great deal of fun and laughter. Because -- and here's a dark secret that no one else will tell you -- most writers are fun-loving, upbeat people. Shh!
At the end of the interview, I was challenged to present my hosts with two truths and one lie and let them guess which was the untruth. Did I fool them? There's only one way to find out.
You can find the Liars Club Oddcast main page here, which let's you choose iTunes or Stitcher or iHeart Radio as options for listening.
2. The Iron Dragon's Daughter E-Book Sale
Amazon has selected The Iron Dragon's Daughter as a Kindle Monthly Deal throughout June. The ebook will be downpriced to 1.99 at Amazon.com for the entire month, With so many ebook sales being one-day pop-ups, this is a surprisingly generous deal.
So... much praise to Open Road Media for arranging this.
3. I Am Returning to China!
I have been invited to the Fourth China International SF Conference in Chengdu, Sechuan Province, China this coming 10th-12th of November..
I accepted, of course. I love China, I love Chengdu, and this is a very exciting time for Chinese science fiction. Also, and best of all, I'll get to see some of my Chinese friends again. So this was an extremely easy decision to make.
I'll almost certainly be blogging from Chengdu when the time comes.
4. The Photo Above
Not everything, mirabile dictu, is about me. When I was at the Nebula Awards Weekend in Pittsburgh, I snapped the above shot.
This requires a little context. The guest speaker for the awards banquet was astronaut Dr. Kjell Lindgrin. During the signing event, I was standing by Joe Haldeman's table, talking with his wife Gay when Kjell came up with his phone in his hand and the above picture loaded into it. While he was waiting his turn to show the picture to Joe, he explained what it was and, very quickly, I asked if I could take a snap.
What you see above you is a copy of The Forever War afloat inside the International Space Station.
Wow.
And that's all for this week. There'll be more news soon. And, knock on wood, more often.
Above: See how casually that's held. What a wondrous time in which we live!
*
May 29, 2017
Memorial Day
.
Memorial day was cool and overcast, as in my memory it always is. As a child, I would accompany my father as he went to a different cemetery every year for the memorial services. He was a radio operator for a B-26 bomber in WWII and even though I was very young, the seriousness of the day impressed me greatly.
The turnout for the ceremony in Levering Cemetery was small because most neighborhood people go to the larger one, an hour later, at the war memorial in Gorgas Park, not a quarter mile away. I like the one at the cemetery, though, because there are soldiers buried there from the American Revolution and the Civil War, as well as more recent wars, and because the presence of their graves reminds everyone of what the day of memorial is all about.
There is always a short speech and of course it's patriotic. There's always the 21-gun salute. But the ceremony is not about the country and it's not about the military. It's about showing respect to those who died before their time. Some of the vets present would be thinking about those they knew who had surrendered their lives far before their time. I know my father was. And before that, one has to stand humble and silent.
*
Memorial day was cool and overcast, as in my memory it always is. As a child, I would accompany my father as he went to a different cemetery every year for the memorial services. He was a radio operator for a B-26 bomber in WWII and even though I was very young, the seriousness of the day impressed me greatly.
The turnout for the ceremony in Levering Cemetery was small because most neighborhood people go to the larger one, an hour later, at the war memorial in Gorgas Park, not a quarter mile away. I like the one at the cemetery, though, because there are soldiers buried there from the American Revolution and the Civil War, as well as more recent wars, and because the presence of their graves reminds everyone of what the day of memorial is all about.
There is always a short speech and of course it's patriotic. There's always the 21-gun salute. But the ceremony is not about the country and it's not about the military. It's about showing respect to those who died before their time. Some of the vets present would be thinking about those they knew who had surrendered their lives far before their time. I know my father was. And before that, one has to stand humble and silent.
*
May 19, 2017
And As Always...
.I'm on the road again!
This time I'm in Pittsburgh for the Nebula Awards. I'm not up myself, by a friend asked me to be the designated acceptor should the Work In Question win. If it does, I'll tell you all about it.
Meanwhile, I'm in Pittsburgh! I once ticked off a lot of fantasy readers by ending a novel with the heroine moving to Pittsburgh and becoming a chemist. That one baffled me. Chemistry is a great profession. And Pittsburgh is a great city. I'd rather be a chemist in Pittsburgh than rule in Narnia any day.
Today, I think I'll go to the Carnegie. Which is that most sensible of institutions, a world-class art museum which is also a world-class natural history museum. Or is it the other way around?
*
This time I'm in Pittsburgh for the Nebula Awards. I'm not up myself, by a friend asked me to be the designated acceptor should the Work In Question win. If it does, I'll tell you all about it.
Meanwhile, I'm in Pittsburgh! I once ticked off a lot of fantasy readers by ending a novel with the heroine moving to Pittsburgh and becoming a chemist. That one baffled me. Chemistry is a great profession. And Pittsburgh is a great city. I'd rather be a chemist in Pittsburgh than rule in Narnia any day.
Today, I think I'll go to the Carnegie. Which is that most sensible of institutions, a world-class art museum which is also a world-class natural history museum. Or is it the other way around?
*
May 15, 2017
Celebrating F&SF
.
I got an email from Gordon Van Gelder this morning (a group email, I should mention, which is a pity because he almost always says something witty in his one-recipient correspondence) mentioning that F&SF is the lead article for Wikipedia today.
Gordon also mentioned that The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction is having a sale on their Website selling sample issues or subscriptions at a reduced price. But only until midnight EDT today, May the fifteenth.
Finally, for those who prefer emags, Weightless Books is having a similar sale on F&SF on the exact same terms: One-Day Good Deal Only.
So if you've been meaning to subscribe, or are curious as to whether you'd enjoy the magazine or not, today's your day!
You can find the Wikipedia article here. But only today, Monday, May 15, 2017.
You can find the F&SF website here. Again, the sale is good only today.
The Weightless Book offer can be found here. Today only.
And it's worth mentioning...
I'm shilling for F&SF here not because there's anything in it for me, but because it's a great science fiction and fantasy magazine and deserves your support.
But don't take my word for it. Buy a copy. Read it. Make up your own mind.
Today's a particularly economical day for doing that.
*
I got an email from Gordon Van Gelder this morning (a group email, I should mention, which is a pity because he almost always says something witty in his one-recipient correspondence) mentioning that F&SF is the lead article for Wikipedia today.
Gordon also mentioned that The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction is having a sale on their Website selling sample issues or subscriptions at a reduced price. But only until midnight EDT today, May the fifteenth.
Finally, for those who prefer emags, Weightless Books is having a similar sale on F&SF on the exact same terms: One-Day Good Deal Only.
So if you've been meaning to subscribe, or are curious as to whether you'd enjoy the magazine or not, today's your day!
You can find the Wikipedia article here. But only today, Monday, May 15, 2017.
You can find the F&SF website here. Again, the sale is good only today.
The Weightless Book offer can be found here. Today only.
And it's worth mentioning...
I'm shilling for F&SF here not because there's anything in it for me, but because it's a great science fiction and fantasy magazine and deserves your support.
But don't take my word for it. Buy a copy. Read it. Make up your own mind.
Today's a particularly economical day for doing that.
*
May 11, 2017
How Vivid Is Your Writing? Find Out For Yourself
.
All my time is taken up by the The Iron Dragon's Mother these days. So here's some more useful advice for gonnabe writers:
Granted, there are times when for legitimate reasons you might want your writing to be dull and bland. But as a rule, vivid is better than not. And concrete things are more vivid than abstractions. Here's how to see how vivid (or not) your writing is.
You understand this is just a fast and sloppy test, right? Good.
Take a page from a story you're working on. (Shown above: a page from "The Changeling's Tale," by yours truly.) Now take a colored market -- I chose yellow -- and highlight all the nouns that refer to things you can actually see or touch or taste or hear or smell. Fish. Air. Aunt Kate. Feather. Bravos.
Next, take a different color marker -- red, here -- and highlight all the adjectives indicating things that can be physically sensed.
Finally, take a third marker -- you can guess which color I used -- and highlight all the verbs that indicate actions that can be seen. Stirred. Swung. Turned. But not sensed or felt or realized.
Participles, articles, pronouns, and the like are left gray. A sentence like "Without meaning to, I had caused a sensation," though necessary here, is entirely colorless.
When you are done, look at the results. If the page looks bright and lively, chances are your prose is too. If if looks gray, then your prose is probably colorless and abstract.
And that's all.
Now, back to work, both of us!
Above: Yes, I'm sure I've made mistakes in the exemplar page above. But it was only the work of a minute. You, I'm sure, will put a great deal more care into your page.
*
All my time is taken up by the The Iron Dragon's Mother these days. So here's some more useful advice for gonnabe writers:
Granted, there are times when for legitimate reasons you might want your writing to be dull and bland. But as a rule, vivid is better than not. And concrete things are more vivid than abstractions. Here's how to see how vivid (or not) your writing is.
You understand this is just a fast and sloppy test, right? Good.
Take a page from a story you're working on. (Shown above: a page from "The Changeling's Tale," by yours truly.) Now take a colored market -- I chose yellow -- and highlight all the nouns that refer to things you can actually see or touch or taste or hear or smell. Fish. Air. Aunt Kate. Feather. Bravos.
Next, take a different color marker -- red, here -- and highlight all the adjectives indicating things that can be physically sensed.
Finally, take a third marker -- you can guess which color I used -- and highlight all the verbs that indicate actions that can be seen. Stirred. Swung. Turned. But not sensed or felt or realized.
Participles, articles, pronouns, and the like are left gray. A sentence like "Without meaning to, I had caused a sensation," though necessary here, is entirely colorless.
When you are done, look at the results. If the page looks bright and lively, chances are your prose is too. If if looks gray, then your prose is probably colorless and abstract.
And that's all.
Now, back to work, both of us!
Above: Yes, I'm sure I've made mistakes in the exemplar page above. But it was only the work of a minute. You, I'm sure, will put a great deal more care into your page.
*
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