Kane Lesser's Blog, page 2

No Phoenix Will Rise From The Ashes

Riots, looting, criminal activity, and chanting in nearly every major American city right now serve no purpose other than to destroy the human and physical infrastructure of our society.

That’s it in a nutshell. It cannot be denied or ignored. Justice and peace being screamed for will not arise from this asphalt war being waged. The soldiers on this battlefield are sadly misguided and ignorant as to what really is going on around them. They function as nothing more than tiny little insignificant cogs in a broken, unfixable system.

A native Minnesotan, I lived in various cities across the state. I spent nearly 20 years of my life in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area – The Twin Cities. I know the territory and people like the back of my hand.

There are few other cities in the United States that have as much to offer but time, weather, and the passive aggression of its population wore me down and I saw an opportunity to seek out different and new pastures. Not greener ones – I’m not that idealistic. Certainly newer ones could offer something different.

Perhaps my vacating was some sort or premonition of the worst yet to come.

This is what I know: George Floyd moved from Houston, TX to Minneapolis, MN after having served five years in jail for an armed robbery conviction. Media has mysteriously failed to mention that the man had a criminal background.

He left behind a six-year-old child in what would seem to be a wake of escaping a chequered history that he had forged for himself.

At the time of this “incident” – his attempting to pass a counterfeit $20 bill at a convenience store – he was unemployed. When his attempted forgery was unveiled, he bolted from the store and was apprehended by four Minneapolis police officers who had been called to the scene by the store owner.

Here is where things get blurry. I wasn’t at the scene to see it for myself. I’ve never been trained or served as a member of law enforcement. Therefore, I can only imagine the astronomical challenges that accompany a job that draws just as little praise as it does salary.

I suspect a great many of millions of people spouting off on social media are those who were not there, know nothing about Minneapolis, nor are they now nor were they ever cops or lawyers, yet they seem to be law enforcement and legal experts in these matters.

They’re not – not even remotely.

What ultimately transpired from this entire event was the death of an individual.

To date, there is no definitive proof nor can an absolute direct correlation be made from the police’s actions to the man’s demise.

Argue all you want. Until an exhaustive investigation and thorough autopsy provide a clearer picture of events of that evening, it is all conjecture, guessing, and personal opinion.

However, in the few skewed details trickling down through biased media, George Floyd’s blood – per the autopsy – contained “intoxicants”. His underlying health issues were determined to have ultimately played a role in his death and the coroner has reported no evidence of strangulation or asphyxiation attributing to George’s death.

Those facts will piss off a lot of people. Right now, everyone just wants to be mad. Everyone wants to be right and everyone wants their way.

That isn’t justice. The end result will not be peace. It is mob rule.

I find myself becoming numbed to the entire episode. This takes place so frequently that it can hardly be a surprise to anyone anymore.

It’s always about race. Always.

Funny thing, racism. Everyone is guilty of being a racist. Everyone. Everyone has been a victim of racism. Everyone.

Those who missed that or have failed to see it are the biggest racists of all.

But why? Couldn’t it be about culturism? Individuality? Circumstances and life choices? Of course it could.

Statistics reflect that more than twice as many white people, 55% versus 27% black people, are killed by police during altercations. That number is 19% for Hispanic, though the latter account for the majority committing crimes.

To that end, questions of logic arise and require answers. Here are mine:

Question: If the police’s actions were prompted by race, why have there been no hate crimes charges levied against them?

Answer: Because the cops’ presence had NOTHING to do with race. It had everything with them doing their job in responding to a crime in process and no evidence points to hate being an underlying element clouding this apprehension. Should prosecutors attempt to make that charge stick – and they’ve obviously chosen not to at this stage – not only would they fail, they would lose their entire case and probably be disbarred.

Question: The owner of the convenience store was a man of color. If this entire incident was predicated on race, why wasn’t the store owner charged with a hate crime?

Answer: Because his call to the police had NOTHING to do with race. It had everything to do with a crime being committed against him and his business that he was trying to protect.

Question: Why has/haven’t the party/ies standing by and watching this entire scene unfold – while videoing it with their phone – been charged with a crime like the individual in the case of Ahmaud Arberey?

Answer: I have no idea, but they should be.

Question: Why, when three years ago a black Minneapolis police officer with a LONG history of professional infractions and misconduct was found guilty of murder and sent to jail for shooting an unarmed white woman, did people not take to the streets and riot? What was different then and in that case?

Answer: The victim was a white woman and the police officer was black. Don’t ask me how that makes any sense or why it even remotely matters, but this seems to be the focus. Also stemming from that entire debacle was the public calling for, and ultimately getting, the resignation of the Minneapolis Chief of Police. She was a white woman.

Question: Why is no one calling for the head of the present Minneapolis Chief of Police? Isn’t he responsible, too? He manages, trains, and is ultimately responsible for his officers’ actions – good, bad, or otherwise.

Answer: Could it be because he’s black? I know that’s a question to a question, but ask yourself why his culpability isn’t just as damning. Life being an equal balance, this issue should be reviewed from both sides. However, it is imperative that this high-ranking officer’s performance should be scrutinized, as well, if for no other reason than he is responsible for his officers.

Question: Why would ANYONE listen to Minneapolis’ mayor, Jacob Frey? A Democratic millennial from Virginia, this man has been in his role for less than two years. He has lived in Minnesota for barely a decade. His demands for dismissal and prosecution of the police officers in question are just as insane, unjust, unwarranted, and misguided as Trump suggesting that people drink disinfectant to protect or cure themselves of the coronavirus.

Answer: I don’t know, but I do truly believe that he is beginning to grasp the severity of a situation that he has absolutely no comprehension how to address, control, or end. What he hasn’t taken into consideration is the potential for a massive wrongful termination lawsuit that could be brought against the city by the police officers. Having axed them in less than 24 hours of this incident, they could very well have an iron-clad argument on their hands, one that could result in Minneapolis having to lick their wounds in the form of a massive financial payout and apology.

What a hollow victory that would be, considering that the mere release of those police officers’ names to the public has already ended their lives as they knew them.

Question: Why are people so quick to play judge, jury, and executioner based upon mostly conjecture, speculation, and gossip spread across media rags?

Answer: Don’t. Stop it. Take caution in wrongly administering the exact law of the land that applies to us all…whether you believe that or not.

Question: As you watch people breaking store windows, setting on fire any inanimate objects in their path, destroying city vehicles, battering others around them – do you put yourselves in the shoes of anyone in history facing a jury trial and ask yourselves: “Is this REALLY whom I would trust to sit on a jury of MY peers???”. Would you want them to be?

Answer: Not in this life or the next.

THE RIOTS

No one can justify this current madness unfolding before our eyes. As Minnesota’s governor said this morning, this isn’t about justice or protestation anymore.

Destroying an entire city is never about justice. Civil unrest reflects little more than the disrespect, lack of self-discipline, and absence of morality in any city’s people.

I made the mistake of reading some Twitter comments recently, those that reflected – en masse – the sheer disregard for the destruction that is running rampant through American cities right now.

“Who cares if Target gets destroyed? They have insurance. They’ll be fine”.

Hardly the point, don’t you think? There isn’t any reason for people to act like animals simply because they want to or somehow think they are entitled.

I also saw on social media a woman’s organization bragging about using their “privilege” to support those around them.

I don’t think I can put into words how ridiculous and degrading that should be to any gender OR race.

What is this “privilege” of which everyone speaks? Where can I sign up to get some? It seems like it’s a pretty fantastic thing or else it wouldn’t get so much attention.

This “privilege” concept incenses me. Fuck you. I’m not privileged. I’ve worked for everything I’ve gotten in my lifetime. I have sacrificed and suffered more than most out of integrity and self-respect. When I don’t “get what I want”, I don’t go destroying everything and everyone around me.

Grow up and shove your “privilege”.

While you’re at it, save the reference to “400 years of anger” as some excuse for violence and retaliation. Unless you or someone you know is 400 years or older, there can’t be any validity to such an argument.

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I see a great many people defending and standing up for injustices they perceive before them.

I think that’s wonderful. I am a humanist who believes that all lives matter. What I do not buy into is an individual of any one particular race who believes it necessary to condemn and trash their own race simply to defend another race.

Under what circumstance could any human be effective in defending ANY race by chastising ANY race? They can’t be. Either support all or destroy all. There is no in-between. We are the HUMAN race. Period.

Even if you refuse to stand up for something that you do not believe in does not give you the right to condemn or destroy it – just as much as you wouldn’t want your beliefs destroyed by your dissenters.

I’ve never known what it feels like to be another race. I never will nor could I ever pretend to. That goes for us all. I find it remarkable that so many social media profundits believe that they can directly relate to what everyone else is seeing, feeling, and living.

They can’t and endorsing such a perception is madness, delusion, and hubris. It’s fantastic if you want to support another human – just don’t pretend to be them.

I thought long and hard about putting my thoughts to paper recently. This entire event troubles me greatly. I do not pretend to have any answers and – if social media is any indicator – my perception and opinions of this will not be received very well, I believe.

I boil this down to objective thinking; that which is not the commodity of the masses. The voice of dissension rarely has an audience that applauds.

Because I do not hold a majority opinion does not mean that my voice is not worthy of being heard.

Think about that for just a second: that previous sentence is the entire basis of our entire country in upheaval right now.

People believe there is a voice not being heard.

It is unfortunate that a life was lost. It is unfortunate that jobs were lost. It is senseless that people are destroying their own villages.

But I don’t feel the need to march anywhere, break anything, set fires, or kill other humans to make sure my voice is heard. Martin Luther King, Jr. preached peace against all of that. It got him assassinated.

Conversely, Malcolm X based his movement on gaining equality “by all means necessary”, meaning he was advocating violence. His aggressive stance got him killed, too.

Education, objective thinking, and humanity are the only elements that can save us. History has constantly proven to us how badly humans still have yet to grasp those concepts.

Until we start upholding geniuses and scholars instead of destroying our livelihoods in defense of criminals; until we reject the corruption of leaders in positions of power – peace cannot be attained.

Until this understanding, this enlightenment is reached, the human race is doomed to continue to repeat its downfall and degradation; not by how they are treated, but by how they treat those around them. How easily it is to fight to be treated well while losing sight of doing onto others.

Until each person on the planet takes full responsibility and is held directly accountable for their individual actions and words, division will continue to widen.

Imagine such significant changes taking place.

Louis Armstrong wished for us all – what a wonderful world it would be.

Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

British singer Adele before and after losing 100 pounds. I’ve always thought her beautiful and she has a voice that is beyond compare, regardless of her weight.

She’s being shamed for losing so much weight. She was mocked previously for being too fat….and at such a young age.

Think about that for a minute.

This body imagery obsession, especially amongst younger individuals (most loudly from females) is getting to the point of ridiculous and really quite aggressive.

Morbidly obese people are shrieking to be accepted just as they are and couldn’t care less about the majority of average people. Fashion magazines are catering to “plus size” (boy, I hate that term) runway models and photo spreads.

The MOST insane comments I’ve seen in response to Adele’s birthday pictures are those who are claiming Adele shouldn’t be complimented on her weight loss because it sends the message to overweight people (those who haven’t put Adele’s level of effort into shaping up) that their bodies or they as people aren’t valuable or acceptable.

It’s always about them. I can’t even get my head around that level of lunacy.

There are inifinite body compositions, medical conditions, even cultural norms that dictate body shape. In large part, being overweight can be attributed to just plain laziness.

I’m lazy – I’ll be the first to admit it. I hate to exercise; I’ve never thought I’ve had a great metabolism. But I wear a size 8-10 American sizes. I’m no rail – I’m about medium, but little attention is given to the middle-of-the-road American woman.

It’s said that the “average” American woman is between size 16 and 18.

That’s hefty in proportion, should it be someone my height and build, for example.

It’s unhealthy. Obese people get defensive if they perceive being fat-shamed, but they don’t realize the greater impact and potentially detrimental results of their behavior.

It is entirely possible that this all stems from self-loathing and it’s easier to blame someone else for what they could perceive as their own shortcomings, low self-esteem, or general lack of self-respect than to actually take responsibility and do something about it for themselves.

And it seems more important to selfish younger generations to be right than to be healthy.

As technology-bound generations’ waistlines and demands for acceptance continue to increase, so will health insurance premiums and hospital costs…if not now, they will eventually and for everyone, healthy or not.

Case in point, I have noticed recently that some restaurants have begun adding surcharges to their customers’ bills, money they claim they’re using to pay for their employees’ insurance plans.

That’s unfortunate, but they ARE the business owner, are they not? It is their responsibility to provide fringe benefits to their own people, not my duty. If they as an owner find it a “hardship” to provide their employees with a privilege – not a right – then they shouldn’t go into business.

Those are establishments I will not patronize. A service industry provides services, not demand it from customers already paying for said services and then trying to overcharge them without their knowledge.

I know there are some that applaud that practice – I find it appalling and entitled.

But I digress.

If an individual is being fat-shamed, whatever that happens to look like, perhaps it is just someone trying to help them improve because they foresee bigger struggles coming with time and age.

I’ve always been pretty much the same size throughout my life with the occasional, “Getting a little thick around the middle, aren’t you?” from a mother who’s been morbidly obese her entire life.

So much so that her insurance company dumped her because her blood pressure is off the charts. She even suffered a hairline fracture in her femur caused by years of excessive weight being carried on it.

Those are just mild examples of the pitfalls of carrying too much weight.

For myself, I know that if I put on just an additional 20 pounds, I am miserable. My joints ache, I sleep poorly, and I despise myself. How someone must feel carrying five times that is something I can’t imagine. Why do they do it? How can this pride in being so slovenly be so justified?

What about extra fares an obese person is expected to pay when flying because they they take up so much extra seat space on an airplane? Plus-size clothing almost always costs more than regular size clothing because of the required extra material.

Worse yet, an easy fix that so many morbidly obese people are racing to is gastric bypass procedures or gastric banding.

These are actually some of the most dangerous surgical procedures undertaken. Plus, once completed, the patient is restricted to such stringent eating and activity guidelines that much enjoyment of everyday life is stripped completely away.

And when all is said and done, nearly 85% of these patients end up back at their previous weight or more because they couldn’t discipline themselves to do what they should have been doing all along: controlling food portions and taking care of themselves.

Are these the battles worth fighting just so you can prove to the world you have your right to be fat?

It’s ironic to think that the same individuals so proud to be so obese are those that serve as primary targets of beauty and plastic surgery industries.

Proponents of over weight demand to be accepted for JUST WHO THEY ARE, yet fall so easily prey to multibillion-dollar bloodsuckers and charlatans that give them nothing but false hope, false lashes, false tits, and very temporary esteem while sucking them dry of their last pennies to do so.

And all the while these individuals are buying their imagined, shallow, insubstantial, and plastic beauty and then unwittingly destroying it all with their foul language and abhorrant treatment of others around them.

At the end of the day, the most important attributes that actually, truly make them who they are – depth, intelligence, respect for others and themselves, and personality – are being pushed aside just so they can have the right to be just as ugly on the outside.

It doesn’t make sense to me, either…

It is of little consequence to me a person’s size, shape, ethnicity, gender, clothing, socioeconomic standing, religious belief, or profession.

If you treat me, others, and yourself well, that is truly most important overall.

A nightly walk in the fresh air does wonders for body and mind, best consistently practiced.

Accountability

In 2011, I worked in a brief contract for Best Buy headquarters just outside of Minneapolis, MN. It wrapped up just as the company was stumbling into its most disastrous and least-profitable holiday season in the history of the company.

One month later, CEO Brian Dunn very abruptly exited his seat.

It seems as though he had *ahem* stuck his pen too far into the company ink well, if you get my drift, and in more ways than one. An extramarital affair he was having with an administrative assistant and misappropriations of funds were brought to light and he was ousted without fanfare.

Behind him, the founder of the company relinquished his own board of directors seat as an admission of guilt for having known about the affair, but doing nothing to correct or stop it.

Since that incident nearly one decade ago, two professionals have taken on the role within the company. Brian Dunn’s immediate successor, a polished Frenchman, turned the company around to its previous financial glory and then some.

It has been less than one year since his successor – a woman and 20-year employee of Best Buy – has assumed the role, only to be in the same uncomfortable spotlight as was Dunn, less than six months into her ascension.

In December 2019, less than six months ago, she came under investigation and scrutiny for “allegedly” (don’t you love that word? It is nearly always indicative of guilt.) having an extramarital affair with another executive within the company.

As of January 2020, everything within the big box retailer seems to be back to smooth sailing with all “inappropriateness” dismissed under the excuse that Best Buy’s corporate policies really don’t define permission or prohibition of corporate romances.

The moral aspect of adultery is hardly one that can be crossed from business into personal lives. However, anyone worth a lick would argue that this questionable personal behavior speaks to the character, intent, judgment, and virtue of the person in a significant corporate leadership role – the top rung.

Is this really the person that you want running a substantial global business? Best Buy didn’t seem to pursue that question with any depth, as nothing came from their internal or external investigations (allegedly), and their business has continued as usual with the sleazy CEO somehow being released from any culpability. Not even a slap on the wrist was administered.

(Yes, I’m well-aware that days, perhaps weeks, could be spent discussing corporate accountability and corruption. It’s rampant. We know that…or we damn well should.)

That could be me being prone to automatically assuming guilt, but I do not believe that there is no smoke without some fire somewhere.

Therefore, any accountability for Best Buy’s CEO simply disappeared, but their reputation as a company hiring and promoting adulterers has been established. And an adulterer still in the top leadership position of a major American company will continue with her own lack of conscientiousness, contrition, self-awareness, and self-control.

She got away with it once (that we’re aware of) – she’ll get away with it again.

Why?

She wasn’t held accountable for her actions by having any sort of consequences imposed upon them.

Welcome to our world…what’s left of it.

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Customer service – the new true oxymoron.

What has happened to it? Where did it go? The last decade has been incredibly telling of a tide that has shifted to a very, very disappointing low.

Instead of actually communicating and working toward a satisfactory resolution (you know – acting like grown-ups), public entities are telling patrons “don’t come back” when alerted to less-than-acceptable performance matters or suggestions. Additionally, they refuse to acknowledge or take any responsibility for their mistakes. That does one thing – leads to more mistakes and absolutely no growth. It is history doomed to repeat itself.

Never in my life could I have imagined living in a time when telling a customer to not come back was acceptable behavior. Ever.

But here’s a case in point where I won’t return: my family and I patronized an establishment we’d never been to before and ordered a diet Coke. The waitress brought a regular Coke and then became enraged when we asked her to correct the drink. Seriously?

True story. After her unnecessarily copping some serious attitude and us determining that the situation best be escalated to a “manager” (a term I use extremely loosely); not only did we receive no amenable response from him, but were ignored at our table for the rest of the evening by the wait staff. I believe that it goes without saying that we’ll never patronize that establishment ever again.

A seemingly innocuous event, and something so easily rectified and forgotten, turned into an incident where a business proved themselves to be very undesirable. And they lost several patrons and their money.

Was it worth it?

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No professionalism, integrity, or accountability.

Recently, I noticed that my publisher unfriended and blocked me from Facebook where we had been connected. Not only had he distanced himself from me on social media, but he had removed links to my books – those which he contracted to sell – from the publisher’s website.

He didn’t reach out to me first. He didn’t indicate anything amiss, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what apparently displeased him.

Several attempts to contact him have been unsuccessful, actions on his part that reflect some juvenile tantrum when I am actually trying to resolve whatever issue I am clearly unaware of.

The only thing I can possibly assume is him having seen a Facebook post of mine, that indicating that my first publisher was a crook…which he was…but that wasn’t the publisher that unfriended me. The latter was my second publisher and he knew that.

I’m in the dark as to the entire affair but not only has this behavior destroyed a business relationship and any trust, it has also broken the law in his breach of contract.

To which I can only ask: why? What purpose did it all serve?

*For any indie authors seeking an outlet for your books, stay away from Editions Dedicaces out of Montreal, Canada.

Now…was THAT worth it?

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People are self-absorbed and disrespectful.

Our next door neighbors are a lesbian couple with seven children ranging from infancy to teenage. They have three dogs that they rarely pay attention to (hell, they barely take care of the kids running out in the street in their diapers and with no supervision), one of which was barking non-stop after the entire family took off for a two-week spring break trip without seemingly having anyone to care for the poor animals.

After having endured an entire day and night of constant howling and yipping from this unsupervised dog, I called the police about 10 p.m. to find some relief. A very nice sheriff’s deputy showed up at our door only to tell us there was nothing that he could do. His hands were tied.

Texas law dictates that dogs and other animals are considered property. Private parties are permitted to own as many animals as they’d like and because they are property, “government” and law enforcement have no leverage to tell property owners what to do and not to do with their own property…

…even in situations where it’s clearly obvious that the property owners have no intention or capability of taking responsibility for their own “property”.

The law doesn’t care about we who have to suffer and endure others’ irresponsibility.

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When it becomes a matter of health and wellness, it still doesn’t matter.

Grocery stores sell rotten food and then become combative, defensive, and all but invisible toward their consumers when alerted to the seriousness of this issue.

Citing my own personal experience, I have recently been “in discussion” (also tongue-in-cheek) with a local food chain and have become increasingly frustrated and confused by the lack of response or acknowledgement I’ve received from their “customer service representatives” to resolve the issue of buying rotten food I’ve had to throw away and the cost along with it.

There is no way that this should be the enormous hassle that it has become. If they didn’t sell rotten food, if they comprehended even the vaguest sense of obligation, if they cared…none of this hassle would be necessary for them or me. I have lost all faith and trust in every buying items from them again.

How can that be defended? Why is this rocket science?

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I’ll cook at home, thank you.

Though my family and I are not apt to eat out or get fast food frequently, every single experience that we have had in the last year has been disastrous. Wrong orders, items left out, having to ask for silverware at a table that has already received food, watching restaurant workers messing around and doing anything but their jobs are just a few examples.

That’s not an exaggeration. It has been every single experience.

The examples of questionable and even unbelievable behavior that I could continue to present is infinite.

Has this entire world now finally found its way to the bottom of the bowl? I appreciate that humans are flawed and potentially prone to mistakes. I even expect them now and again. That’s considered a margin of error.

But why do people settle for so little from the one and only life that they have to enjoy? There is no shame or humility in satisfaction, comfort, or standing up for oneself.

Why the constant excuses and the arguments and poor relational connections?

Why are people so angry, defensive, and prone to simply ignoring a situation with the hopes that it will disappear – especially in their place of work and toward other people? Why is no one held accountable for ANYTHING anymore?

I get it. Perhaps the pendulum has swung so far, that individuals have became so rude that public industries have decided to stand up to it. People get fed up. Every one of us.

That’s fine, but only to a point and none of that serves as justification to treat other people poorly. Ever.

The adage that the “customer is always right” has never resonated with me. Customers are NOT always right, but that doesn’t mean that businesses are entitled to treat their patrons like shit.

After all, consumers are the source of the business’ revenue and paying rude employees’ salary. Apparently, that escapes a great many individuals.

They just don’t care.

They don’t get it.

And they just really have no idea what to do. They’re zombies incapable of formulating their own thoughts and instructions on what they are to do in their jobs are given to them by people just as – if not more so – incompetent than the teams they lead.

It’s ok to think for yourself. In fact, it is fantastic. Actually, being wrong isn’t bad at all. We learn far more from failures than we ever will gain from successes. Be willing to fall flat once in a while. It happens. No one is perfect.

And afterward, stand up; dust yourself off and keep doing it wrong until right shows up.

Right will never appear if you convince yourself that wrong doesn’t exist.

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The dog with the bone.

I have been frequently – and will continue to be, I have no doubt – admonished, derided, sworn at, and shamed for being – seemingly perceived as – fussy, combative, picky, overly-critical, or just a downright bitch because I raise these situations to attention.

Worse yet, that I will stand up against unacceptable behavior and treatment. I have no problem calling out the 800-pound gorilla in the room. Few others will take that action – that’s conflict avoidance.

The general public view that as “Karen” mentality – that I’m difficult and demanding. I’m really not. I simply refuse to surrender my standards.

I refuse to accept mediocrity.

I guess I was just raised that way.

I remember my dad pounding into the heads of my siblings and me the importance of taking pride in everything we did – that something worth doing was worth doing well.

He never permitted us to settle for anything less. My dad, though not an educated or wealthy man, stood up for that in which he believed, regardless of those who disagreed with him.

He didn’t have to use profanity or aggression to do it. He saw no need for that. He was a simply-spoken man who laid out with reason and common sense his justification and logic for that which he did and said.

I have followed very closely in those footsteps despite finding myself the butt of ridicule, gossip, and abandonment.

And I will continue to do so. It is exhausting and heartbreaking to have every aspect of life directly impacted by continual and constant mistakes, slovenly behavior, rudeness, apathy, and defensiveness.

Yet, even more painful is to know that I have just simply stood by and permitted it.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing”. – Edmund Burke.

There are more questions than answers when it comes to holding people accountable for their actions, but it comes down to each of us having our voice and using it respectfully and – yes – sparingly as the situation applies.

Accountability has to come from within because integrity is how one conducts themselves when no one else is watching. That’s a tall order, one infrequently met.

Not every event requires response, not every situation is conflict; not everyone needs to be your friend, but everyone is worthy of respect until they have shown you otherwise.

Accounting for myself, I can:

Not justify laying down with dogs just to wake up with fleas. I do not measure my worth by how many followers are on social media, nor will I fret should that number decline. That is beyond my control or willingness to expend energy on the entire affair.Carefully consider the situation in front of me and choose how and when to select or hold my words.Believe that discretion is the better part of valor and practice that daily.Grasp that behavior accepted or ignored is behavior that is condoned.Apologize and rectify when I am wrong, and caution when accused of falsehoods.Appreciate that we are all different and our experiences make us who we are and what we expect.Constantly strive for higher ground. There is always better to be had or improvement to be made in all of us. Always. The day that I believe something is “good enough” is that day that I will be put into the ground.Not tolerate being treated with disrespect, being ignored, being sworn at, or insulted. No one should.Avoid drama where I can, lessen it when possible, and maintain reason. Anger, defensiveness, and retaliation do nothing but welcome the same in return.Stand up for that which I believe and permit others to do the same.Recognize those parties opened to compromise versus those only seeking to be right. You can share information with anyone – what they choose to absorb is solely up to them.Take accountability for my own actions knowing full well that others simply can’t or won’t.Know when to quit. Battles are easy to choose – how hard and how long we choose to fight them is more difficult to decide.

And after all of this, expelling thoughts that have been bubbling in me for days, I see little hope in their worth.

That’s not defeatism – that is realism.

As a last resort, we can always trust karma to come through with flying colors.

It has no problem finding any of us…

A Goofy Glossary

Everyone has weird sayings or words acquired from oddball relatives or friends, or those that have just been picked up as they’ve gone on their journey through life.

Some of these are personal creations, while others are legitimate words.

Though mine are many and colorful, they are used for entertainment value and intended for lightening the mood. I’m a sharing just a few of them to make you giggle.

Ass Quack – A fart. See also flatulence, crop-dusting, drive-by, and dropping ass.

Boob Salad – Decolletage. The state of a well-endowed female’s bosom when fully on display, particularly when bound in a corset or well-made industrial brassiere. See also boobage.

Boondoggle – Useless work or activity made to look as though one is being productive or serious.

Bwak – A word or sound intended to scold with minimal severity. Varying levels, depending upon the nature of the infraction, could include multiple bwaks and flaps. The latter is to be avoided at all costs.

Chesticles – Male boobs.

Cloud – A white comforter or duvet.

Cow Pie – Bovine excrement usually left in a round pile resembling a pie.

Creepie – Term of affection and nickname given to a Jeep Wrangler by a Jeep Wrangler owner. It’s a Jeep thing – you wouldn’t understand. See also “Rubi” for Rubicon.

Doof – A cross between a dumbass and a goof, intended to be not as offensive as straight-out calling someone a dumbass; lighthearted and humorous.

Doppelganger – An individual with identical physical traits, an identical twin, someone who looks the same as another person.

Doug – A verb meaning to break something, injure oneself, or to do something wrong. Originating from simple observation of my husband’s daily activities, I’m seriously contemplating contacting Webster’s to convince them of their need to include this in the English vocabulary.

Gash-hole – A term describing an individual for whom one has a feeling of extreme dislike or hatred. Derogatory term for a woman of ill-repute.

Glop – A dish comprised of any leftover food, scraps of ingredients, or the last minuscule remnants of any bag found in a pantry. Customarily made when the household’s primary chef is tired, lazy, or desperate.

Goo – Sweetened syrup added to water for enhanced taste, available in a variety of flavors.

Gunt – A combination of the words gut and cunt describing the midsection of a woman’s body where the lower stomach overlaps the genitalia.

Hail Damage – Pocks or divets in human skin caused by cellulite found in males and females, most easily noticed through white or yoga pants. See also orange peel, cottage cheese, and surface of Mars.

Horse Apples – Equine excrement left where dropped and approximately the size of the fruit. Dimensions may vary; do not attempt to ingest.

In Spades – A term describing a great many, a large volume, or with serious intention.

Moo Cow – A leather jacket.

Nerd Herd – A gathering or group of young men most likely found in a college setting. Think chess, science, or physics clubs.

Oldsmopile – The only thing that an Oldsmobile should be called or considered.

Rag – Any publication – a tabloid, newspaper, or magazine – that is known for consistently printing and disseminating lies, poorly-written news, or stupid information.

Ratbert – Nickname for a small child of toddler age, originating from the Dilbert comic strip.

Schnork – A way of laughing that incorporates a snort, a hiccup, and inhalation executed with such force to expel milk through a nasal cavity or trigger acid reflux.

Scritch – A way of scratching that brings immediate satisfaction to an itch, originating from the Peanuts’ cartoon strip.

Shiticles – Non-visible and potentially toxic particles or remnants left behind in the air or on solid surfaces following a visit to the restroom or crop dusting incident.

Slab – A slang term for a state of or person being slab-like, usually horizontal and immobile, and likened to a slab of marble, granite, or clay.

Snag – To expectorate mucus and expel by spitting. See also goober, loogie, or snot.

Snoreasaurus – A creature prone to emitting a snoring noise loud enough to keep awake or refuse sleep to an entire household, with decibels capable of cracking walls and loosening ceilings.

Spud or Spudlet – Term of endearment for a child of any age; your own or them of another individual. Originated from the slang term for a small potato.

Titsling – A bra. See also over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

Twatwaffle – A colorful adjective used derogatorily to describe a stupid, irreverent, rude, inconsiderate person and/or their actions.

Wienous – Male genitalia. This word is a combination of wiener and penis.

The Write Purpose

Everyone writes something. Whether professionals are typing an email, lawyers are drafting legal documents, or an online influencer is building a daily blog, writing is an integral part of every human’s life.

People read news stories. Televisions broadcast closed-captioning so that those hearing impaired can enjoy a show and grasp the story line. Foreign films ticker subtitles.

Words are everywhere. Much as is anything that is constantly in our sight or that by which we are surrounded, words and writing almost always get taken for granted.

Just because they’re everywhere doesn’t mean that they add up to anything…unless we intend or permit them to do so.

Those who enjoy, thrive upon, relish in, and love words understand the importance of not only the words themselves but of their meanings and origins.

Any novelist, journalist, writer worth their salt ponder frequently why they write. They hunt high and low for a greater and deeper understanding of the tools that are the very foundation of their trade.

Merely knowing a word is of little value. Comprehending the meanings of words is better. Appreciating the varying contexts in which a word can be used is good. Researching a word’s origin is great.

Knowing when, where, and how to apply a group of words in any given situation is absolutely priceless.

I am constantly thinking about…well…everything. It is my blessing, it is my curse. With a significant milestone birthday on my horizon, I find myself reminiscing about who I used to be and how far I have come. I apply my reflections to the world I live in now and how I fit into it.

Call it arrogance or entitlement, but I have earned my own right to be critical of younger generations…because I was once there myself. I was young and dumb, I’ll be the first to admit that. I think we have all been. Anyone who denies that is now old and still dumb.

It is entirely possible that, at the time, I knew full well how obnoxious and defiant I was. I didn’t care. It could still be argued that I’m obnoxious and defiant but the years that have passed have given me ample opportunity to refine that rogue behavior.

And I have taken full advantage of that fact. No opportunity should be a missed one.

I remember people I have encountered throughout my life who have belittled, berated, corrected, scolded, and advised me. Some of those instances stung me badly and those are the ones most vivid in my memory. Those encounters never end. They are to be recognized from cradle to grave.

The most profound instances of change, learning, and growth do not come from being congratulated for doing something right or good. True advancement comes from emotional, physical, and sometimes financial challenges or conflicts. Heartaches. Losses. Mistakes.

This is where a younger generation has missed the mark in nurturing their own children – no participation trophy will ever result in anyone striving for anything better than mediocrity.

And as I experience frequent frustration with these younger generations, I trust more and more in my ability to pay forward to them the lessons – tough as they may often be – to those whom I believe can and will benefit from them, much as I have.

In doing so, I am fully aware that just because I lead a horse to water does not mean that I will be able to make it drink.

Regardless of what or whom I impact on some level with my writings, here are a few reasons why I will continue to put my words to text and where possible, in speech:

I enjoy it. There is no other feeling in the world compared to lying in bed at night, unable to sleep, pondering a topic, and constructing a story to go with it. It is intoxicating. There is a profound sense of self-satisfaction that comes from expressing thoughts and viewpoints of any subject and in turn:

It makes me think. About everything – why I wrote what I did, what it means to me, how can I say it better or differently, what am I trying to convey, and does it make sense. A great deal of consideration goes into what I write and I edit my pieces to ad nauseum. And because I have, it has:

Taught me patience. I have learned to pause and take conscious inventory of any given situation, and consider very carefully what words I will apply.

It irritates people. Yes, you read that correctly. I take no issue with pissing people off. In fact, it seems as though a great deal of my life has been devoted to accomplishing that without even trying. It is human nature to raise one’s hackles when challenged. Saying something that makes people mad will rally them to think – even if it is in anger – about what was said. And they’ll spend a long time afterward thinking about what they should have said. Tell me you’ve never done that.

To educate. That’s a given. If there is just one person I reach that turns to a dictionary to learn the meaning of a word I’ve used or if there is someone who is compelled to ask “why?” to something I’ve written, there is the potential for learning more. About anything.

It’s ventilation. Think of an over-inflated balloon. Sooner or later, it will pop. The more I fill with thoughts, the greater frustration will build up within me. See also: keeping sanity of me and those around me.

There is great curiosity to be satisfied. Seeing my own words laid out in front of me gives a visual life to words. Stories turn into pictures and give me a whole new vantage point in addition to that which I see only in my head. Topics I write about encourage me to look up words, historical events, and other books, too.

Shock value. Why not? Most of what is blogged or posted in today’s media is displayed with as much audacity as possible in order to gain some sort of attraction.

Encouragement. Writing gives me purpose to think further, explore more, and convince others that they can write, too.

It’s an exercise. Idle hands are the devil’s tools, and it gives me something to do.

Historical value. Though I have no delusions of ever reaching the celebrity level of a Stephen King or a J.K. Rowling, I love to believe that my words will somewhere, somehow be available for a long time to come. That my novels’ ISB registration numbers will forever be in the Library of Congress is a fact in which I take great pride.

There are a great many more reasons justifying why I write; this list is not exhaustive by a long shot. It has the fluidity to change on any given day.

You’ll notice that two reasons not finding their way into that list and those are, “To prove I’m right” and “To prove I’m wrong”.

Those states of being are not for me to decide, nor should they be for any writer or any human.

What is right or wrong to any of us is that which we choose, open to discussion, and that which contains many gray areas. One of the greatest elements of words is their subjectivity. There are no rules or laws that govern them…at least, in this context.

Curate your own list. Define your own desire. That – even if you hesitate as to whether you should write or what you should write – constitutes – wait for it…

Writing. There. You’ve started. Keep going.

A Message To Hollywood And Film Makers Everywhere

When I was a kid, going to see a movie in a theater was the pinnacle of entertainment.

Buying my ticket, stopping at the concession stand for popcorn and candy-coated Jordan almonds, and plopping down in that musty red velvet seat were glorious to me.

As my life and technology have progressed and I began buying my own VHS tapes and DVDs and players, I reveled in watching newly-released movies from the comfort of my own home. Snuggling down in bed with all lights off in the middle of the night, I was free to stay up until dawn and binge on action flicks and stand-up comedy to my little heart’s delight.

The dawn of media streaming has revolutionized the accessibility of infinite television shows, documentaries, black and white classic films, and news from anywhere in the world.

Though I enjoy having the ability to select from so many options, I find there are many that are of little interest to me. The advent of “reality television” was an unmitigated mistake that has now broken all barriers and runs amuck. It triggers my gag reflex. It is proof positive that any moron with a camera and – unfortunately – a huge, misdirected audience can be a t.v. or YouTube “star”.

The Toronto-based band Our Lady Peace said it best in their new song, “Stop Making Stupid People Famous”. They warn, “We keep making stupid people famous and now we’re paying for that”.

Boy, no truer words have been spoken.

What saddens me more is how little I go to see movies anymore in theaters. The astronomically-high ticket prices, the first-born you have to give up to be able to afford snacks, and the downright rude people who insist upon watching their cell phones in the theaters during the movies have sickened me to the entire event.

Though I have marveled at the comfy leather recliners, having wine and pub grub served directly to me, and even having a little blanket and pillow to snuggle with in a public place, the exorbitant price is that which isn’t worth paying all too frequently. The simple act of watching any movie in any theater nowadays has become a needless luxury. Forget taking an entire family for a movie night out – you’ll break your bank.

I suspect there are many individuals who have experienced this dynamic. That leaves us to our living rooms and to our own tastes when choosing our in-home nightly entertainment ritual.

There have been few movies made – dare I say – in the last decade or so that have even remotely intrigued me. Overwhelmingly, there are a great many movie remakes and those that are alarmingly dull bastardizations of once-proven blockbusters.

It would seem that movie companies have dropped off of a ledge into a blackened abyss and the writers, actors, and actresses have followed them directly off the cliff.

By watching a bit of a trailer, I can tell if a movie is one that I am curious to see or it is one that I will avoid like the plague. I am almost always dead on in my assumptions based upon the story line and the movies’ players.

Recently, I have been on the fence as to whether or not a new movie being advertised is worth my time and attention. In taking a leap of faith, I have been not only let down by having wasted two or more hours of my life that I’ll never get back by having permitted myself to endure such fluff, but I have been downright incensed by the lack of imagination and talent.

Worse yet, movies being churned out to the public reflect – nay, scream – common attitudes and perceptions of the world today. Societal norms that I have watched evolve, those that used to exist as just a wisp when I truly enjoyed movie theaters, have now become F5 tornados of our daily lives.

The pacification of language and action, the “softening”, if you will, of situational realness, and the political correction made to anything perceived as offensive in every movie I’ve watched recently have become all too real to me.

Perhaps all generations experience this epiphany; the “it’s just not like the old days anymore” lamentation that awaits us all with age.

Case in point – The Addams Family. Originally created as a cartoon strip by Charles Addams in 1938, this group of characters was deliciously cracked with their gothesque black clothing, dilapidated dreary mansion, brooding personalities, and morbid appetites.

These creepies were further brought to life in their own black and white television series in 1964, and then into a movie with sequels in the early 1990s. Their nonconformity was their charm and nothing was more attractively macabre than how far removed and odd they were from every run-of-the-mill typical family.

It was also award-winning and compelling enough to put on the Broadway stage, a production I enjoyed seeing more than any other musical in my life, hands down.

Every single character was brilliantly disturbed, exactly the way that Charles Addams had designed them to be. This weirdness was intentional, cultish, and entertaining enough to withstand decades.

Until now.

In 2019, Hollywood – in their infinite and delusional wisdom (or lack thereof) – determined that it would be a great idea to do ANOTHER Addams Family movie; this time in animation.

Being a disciple of the Addams Family obscurity, I bit. And, heaven help me, it bit back.

I was so mad after having paid Amazon Prime to watch that piece of junk, I could have spit nails.

Folks, if you love the Addams Family as much as I do, do yourself a favor and skip this movie completely, as well as the (ick) sequel to it that is planned for 2021.

Wednesday’s snide one-lined digs, Gomez’s and Morticia’s disturbing and perverse clawing at one another, and Uncle Fester’s bizarre scientific acumen were all gone. All of it swallowed up by the “let’s all be happy, kind to one another, we can’t say anything bad, we have to do this so not to scare anyone, Brady Brunch harmony, we have to shelter them from what originally made them entertaining” crap.

It was horrible, completely benign, and not at all the Addams Family that we devotees have come to know, love, and cringe at.

It marks the undeniable end of an era.

That’s just one example. Additional movies easily added to that “do not bother” list are the latest Star Wars installation (let it die in peace already), Will Smith’s animated “Spies In Disguise”, and most recently, the 10,000th remake of “Dr. Doolittle” (bad, bad, bad).

I love Robert Downey, Jr., but new movies’ scripts are so worthless, not even a full cast of Hollywood’s biggest names can save them from this level of shame anymore.

All that being said, here is my message to Hollywood and film makers everywhere: PLEASE STOP. For the sake of our IQ points and the love of all things holy – stop pandering, stop traipsing the more-traveled road because it’s easy and safe, and stop exhausting these horses that have long ago been beaten to death.

Invent something new, film something of substance, make us – the audience – teeter on the edges of our seats again.

Here’s a suggestion:

There are an INFINITE number of indie authors out there, myself included. Take our books, our scripts, our thoughts and help us turn them into something the world hasn’t seen yet. Bring the words on a page to life on a big screen.

I don’t think my books are too bad. In fact, I think they’re quite exciting. I suspect that many authors feel the same way about their work. There is nothing I would like more – the ultimate goal of my career as a writer – than to see my novels turned into screenplays. There would be no greater reward or acknowledgement for the courage it takes indie writers to put their heart and soul out into the pages of a book.

Why not take a chance? Give it a shot to seek out that which is original, hungry, and appealing.

I don’t think I have to ask: “What have you got to lose?”.

Liberties, Freedoms, Rights

Within these three words flows the lifeblood of the United States of America.

It is upon these principles that beleaguered men upended the only lives that they had ever known, broke their shackles of tyranny, and laid the foundation for the freedom and governmental democracy they so craved.

Fast forward more than 200 years.

Modern day America is staring down a pandemic of epic proportion, a virus that is moving like wildfire across the globe.

It is a time of fear, of panic, of uncertainty, and of need for rational minds coming together more than ever before.

My own self-imposed quarantine has provided me the opportunity to sit back and take in all of the news and government information that is being thrown at us.

The amount of fancy, fact, and fiction flying at us is voluminous. Some of it is daunting. Other speculations are just downright farce.

Regardless of how one chooses to filter the information, I don’t believe there is any denying that the change prompted by this spreading disease will continue to morph well into our future.

I do not subscribe to the flash term “new normal”. If anyone believes that this world or their lives were “normal” prior to this world’s affliction, they have bigger things to worry about.

Across our country and the world, governments and local politicians have stepped up and executed orders that limit the gathering and close proximity of individuals in an attempt to slow the spread of this virus. This in hopes of bringing back our “normal” (insert eye roll here) as quickly as possible.

Violations of these established directives in some areas are punishable by possible jail times and hefty fines. There are some officials who are simply not going to mess around with defiants who insist that their civil liberties are being violated, and under no circumstances will those protesters permit the government to dictate to them what they can and cannot do.

Ahhh…there it is. That phrase. Civil liberties.

But, what are those? To whom do they apply? Are mine being violated?

The most popular, best known civil liberties are those called out in the First Amendment of the Constitution: freedom of religion, freedom of speech, freedom of assembly, freedom of press, and freedom of conscience.

Webster’s defines civil liberties thusly: “The state of being subject only to laws established for the good of the community, especially with regard to freedom of action and speech”.

Great; that makes sense to me. At present, “for the good of the community” is the most operative phrase. Our government officials, in whatever capacity, are exercising their legal power for the greater good and to continue to keep people safe, regardless of idiots that are dead-set on doing whatever they damned well please while breaking laws in the meantime.

If people were capable of policing themselves, this wouldn’t be necessary.

Interestingly enough, a secondary definition of civil liberties reads as such: “Individual rights protected by law from unjust governmental or other interference”.

Having a degree in law and being a huge fan of legal writing, I view this second description as contradictory to the first.

An argument could be made that, according to the subsequent definition, government action in this time of crisis is unconstitutional and meddling into our private lives that simply should not be taking place.

One could say that this law is breaking itself. It is confusing and very widely open to individual interpretation.

Legalese is like that. It can be spun in a million different ways to suit anyone making an argument for themselves.

Most of those arguments are ridiculous, without merit, and completely irrational. But they are still protected under law.

Welcome to our judicial and legal system, folks. Buckle up for the ride.

I ponder “civil liberties”. Mine. In terms of our present dire situation, I can’t remotely argue that MY civil liberties have been violated.

Why, you may ask?

Simply put: I’ve got a fucking brain that I pride myself on using often. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to understand: Disease bad, isolation from disease and infected good. Duh. It really is THAT simple.

I’ve never in my life had any issue policing myself – I’ve been quite happy to do it for myself, if for no other reason than to NEVER feel as though there is some government agency that I have put in any position to violate my civil liberties or to keep me so close under their watchful eye.

I assume full responsibility for me and my actions, that includes doing whatever is necessary to keep myself and my family – and whomever else I can help – out of harm’s way.

See how that works? Here is how and why:

First and foremost, any individual who believes that they are “owed” or entitled to “pure” freedom is delusional. There is no such thing; not really, if you give it a great deal of thought.

Freedom by definition is: “The power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint”.

That’s great…to a point. Pure, true, unadulterated freedom would go one step further to safeguard all people from any consequences stemming from that which they do, say, or practice.

That isn’t the case. Individuals are safeguarded under the Constitution to say or do whatever they’d like. They are NOT, however, protected from potential punishment stemming from their words or actions.

Ultimately, I believe that individuals screaming the loudest about their civil liberties being violating are those that have given their government officials and politicians far too much power to be in a position to control those rights in the first place.

These are the people who may or may not realize too late that they had empowered the government so greatly, and end up furious when it becomes apparent just how much they have relinquished, unwittingly or not.

They’re pissed and want someone to blame for their oversight or laziness.

Permit me an analogy: A person encounters a homeless person. Let’s call them citizen A, the person and citizen B, the homeless. Citizen A befriends citizen B and comes to trust them, knowing full well that citizen B is homeless and impoverished.

Citizen A hands citizen B a bag of potato chips for safe keeping. They don’t consider that citizen B may be hungry, nor do they give any thought that maybe citizen B will eat those potato chips. Citizen A leaves for a little while after having entrusted their precious bag of chips to citizen B with the only instruction being to hold the bag of potato chips until citizen A could return.

Upon returning, citizen A realizes that citizen B has eaten every last chip in the bag. Citizen A is livid, absolutely furious, and convinced that their trust has been completely shattered by citizen B.

At which point, one begs to question: what did you expect? What did you think was going to happen? You handed a hungry and wanting person food. You didn’t specifically instruct citizen B NOT to eat your potato chips. They probably would have emptied the bag, regardless of you instructing them not to. You thought of nothing and no one but yourself and the safe-keeping of your potato chips, and then become furious with an outcome that you should have anticipated.

Politicians are “citizen A” and their constituents are “citizen B”. The former simply cannot be trusted to not eat their constituents’ potato chips. The only best interest that any government has got in mind, first and foremost, is its own survival.

Their people’s rights will always come secondarily. That which individuals have given up freely, they have no position to complain about once lost.

Don’t give the government so much power, police yourself, and you’ll be able to live with most civil liberties intact.

It is no secret that I am a cynic. There are very good reasons for that. I watch everything. I question everything and I believe little that is fed to me by political heads. I just simply don’t, even less so in an election year. Campaign promises abound, yet evaporate into thin air once a governmental seat is filled.

That doesn’t mean I’m going to start my own militia, go on a bomb-slinging-Ted-Kaczynski-rampage, or build my own Davidian compound. Nah.

Instead of constantly being disappointed, I just filter it all. I keep to myself and safeguard my own civil liberties myself as best I can. It keeps me from ending up in some governmental cross hairs.

In this time of crisis, we still have freedoms. We still have rights and we still have liberties. We can go to grocery stores and have our food under our roofs before we sleep in our warm beds.

We have the liberty to assist those less-fortunate and make sure that they get their own potato chips with the expectation that they can be satisfied, too.

No government, no law, no cop will ever have any power to take away our humanity. However, it is our duty as humans and Americans to exercise discretion and best judgment in times such as these. Our humilty dictates that there will be times when we cannot have or get everything we want or need. These challenges truly define our strength and integrity.

An excerpt from Abraham Lincoln’s 1863 Gettysburg Address: “…this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth…”.

WE ARE THE PEOPLE. The government is of us, by us, and for us. We have the power over what level of power we provide our government.

The voting box is our tabernacle and it is more effective than complaining about lost civil liberties being preached from a pulpit.

Why Words Matter – Part II

Victorian-era author Edward George Earle Lytton Bulwer-Lytton, 1st Baron Lytton once wrote, “The pen is mightier than the sword”.

American humorist, philosopher, and author Mark Twain quipped, “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything”.

Among the endless and amusing observations made by Victorian-era poet and playwright Oscar Wilde, so many clever sayings stand out to me. A tortured and wicked soul, I have been drawn to his work most of my life. Perhaps, on some level, I have an ability to relate to some of his pain of which he frequently speaks. His observation, “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you” is certainly one that rings clear to me.

These and countless other writers across the centuries – through their experiences they thought important enough to capture in text – remind us all this:

Words matter.

Spoken, written, and implied words have unimaginable and equal ability to enliven and to destroy.

I’ll use a personal example of how something as simple as a spoken word can escalate based upon simple perception.

Recently, my husband had surgery and was unable to drive. That positioned me as chauffeur to us both and for everywhere we needed to be. Doctor’s appointments, grocery store runs, weekend evenings out found me behind the wheel.

The really bad part about that is I have absolutely no sense of direction. Though not necessarily brand new to the area, I have found it more difficult than I had anticipated to get my bearings and I depend largely on my husband as my modified GPS to direct me to any given destination.

That’s my cross to bear. His is that he is a lousy GPS. Having lived here for better than 20 years and knowing the area well, he thinks little about conveying turn by turn to someone completely lost. He’s used to just driving to where he knows he’s going.

One day during one of our trips to the physical therapist – both of us raw from pushing our patience during his lengthy healing – I was driving along and he instructed me to get in the turn lane. We were going to turn left in one of the two designated lanes.

As we approached the lanes, he then said, “Go straight”, so at last minute, I swung the vehicle into the far right lane going directly forward.

And he exploded at me, screeching that he told me to turn. In response, I dissolved into tears, screaming back that he told me to go straight.

By definition, a turn on a curve is polar antonym of straight. You don’t go straight to turn a corner.

It seems so stupidly apparent to me.

He saw it differently. And his direction was completely rational to him.

That disagreement landed us in separate rooms for days until we cooled off and both acknowledged that we need to work on our communications when it comes to giving directions.

I am thankful to say that – on every other plane – he and I communicate flawlessly through humor, day to day routine, and true romance. I adore him with all my being.

But, goddammit, that incident pissed me off.

I love that he tells me that I am one of the most intelligent people that he’s ever met in his life. He mentions frequently how my pontificating about every subject under the sun has changed his way of absorbing and fielding what he reads, what he hears, how he speaks, and how it all applies to the world around him.

Through my prompting and challenging everything he’s ever known and said, I have broadened his mind and his vocabulary. He understands now why it matters.

A prime example he has given on multiple occasions is my ability to educate by description and with purpose; that I do not yell, bark, shame, or command. Yet, I express observations in order to change behavior in a way that achieves desired results through respect and understanding.

I pride myself on that. If any of our deliberations have power to plant a seed of contemplation into just one person’s mind, this planet may be on its way to becoming a beautiful garden.

That is the immeasurable power of words when they are used with bold intention. This is why they matter.

World Leaders Are Held To A Higher Standard – Or Are They?

At risk of kicking a hornets’ nest, I’ll also use an opposing example; one of many as have been set forth by our current president, Donald Trump.

I find it difficult to describe how I feel about the news media’s daily attacks on everything that our president says and does. Don’t get me wrong – I actually agree with them and I marvel in the colorful and clever adjectives that the journalists and opinionists conjure up.

The president has ostensibly opened his own door to the endless berating and punishing prompted by his ridiculous Twittering, his public scolding of reporters, his documented inconsistencies, and his outright lack of understanding of the politics and people around him.

He has positioned himself as a fool, unapologetically so, but ultimately it is he – and only he – who is responsible for his words and reactions.

That burden lies with each and every one of us.

He’s no exception, however. Every politician at some point in their career has faced the public with egg on their face, placed there by their own rhetoric.

A very sensitive and arguable topic that I have seen addressed – a comment once made on social media about a very well-known historical leader and politician – was a viewpoint indicating how great a leader was Hitler.

Now, before you go diving for the torches and pitchforks, think about that for just one moment. Does that statement anger you? Or do you sit back in your seat, examine those words, apply rational thought, and then seriously consider that he very well may have been?

Of course he was and I’ll tell you why.

Let’s begin first at the end and work our way back. It is an indisputable truth that Hitler’s actions were unforgivable, unimaginable, and inconceivable. He was the most notorious murderer, criminal, scoundrel of the 20th century, hands down. The man was the definition of evil as close as we can find it.

But it cannot be denied that he was an exceptional leader NOT based upon the outcome of his actions, but that he achieved them in the first place – why?

Because he was followed, hailed, and admired by millions of disciples, believers, and soldiers.

How?

Words.

An intelligent, cultured, driven, educated, and disciplined individual, he applied his extreme intellect to cajoling and manipulating the masses so much so that he convinced them of his ability to bring his anticipated realm to perfection. And they all bought it hook, line, and sinker.

He told people EXACTLY what they wanted to hear. And they believed him.

Does that make it right? Absolutely not…but, unfortunately, it makes it a fact of history.

Throughout that same history, a myriad of examples can be given of civilizations brought to their knees, mass murders, absolute defiance, civil disobedience, and corruption promulgated by leaders and driven by their spoken and written words.

A ray of sunshine is that just as many arguments can be made in favor of those successful and positive leaders who moved mountains, changed lives, and built cities with their words. One of my favorite examples of that is Martin Luther King, Jr.’s speech “I Have a Dream”. It brings me to tears each time I hear him utter those poignant words.

What You Say And HOW You Say It

“Turning dog shit into diamonds” – that is one of my favorite lines by Christopher Walken’s mobster character in the 1997 movie “Suicide Kings”.

It’s a suave, sexy, striking comment. Watch the movie and you’ll perk up when it’s spoken. You’ll rewind the movie just to make sure that you heard what you thought you heard. Essentially, what Walken in his character was expressing, was that the most persuasive individual can take the most dire scenario and turn it into the most enjoyable of occasions.

They could easily achieve this – as could anyone – simply by calculating how creative is their description, how enticing are those words, and knowing exactly whom is the audience they are addressing.

Our ears and eyes are sensitive instruments. They are attracted and soothed by nice, comforting, and pleasant sounds and sights. For purposes of this discussion, we’ll assume that those are spoken and written words.

Alternatively, they are also repulsed, incited, and infuriated by bad and profane content.

That’s human nature.

“One is apt to attract more bees with honey than with vinegar”.

In other words, posing and accepting open communication in any situation will gain more attention and result than will spouting anger, accusations, and name-calling.

Think about a time when you had to deal with a customer service representative and you didn’t feel as though your situation was receiving the attention or result that you were hoping for.

We’ve all been in that spot. I am just as guilty for losing my temper with someone I did not perceive as being competent to handle the given situation.

As a result, it got nowhere, just like I knew it wouldn’t.

Bottom line is – all of us as humans are more amenable to being worked with as opposed to being worked against and words are the driving force in getting us to a productive result.

I’ve always viewed profane responses as the refuge of the weak-minded. I do, however, believe that an occasional “f-er” provided precisely at the right moment to express emphasis is a very powerful tool. There’s the dog shit.

Speaking with purpose and clarity requires a great deal of thought, that which most are incapable or unwilling to devote to resolving or eliminating conflict. Those are diamonds. Some call them pearls of wisdom – choose whichever metaphorical precious gem you’d like.

The irony of this is, that in most cases, words already spoken are those that have brought on the conflict now requiring diffusing.

We aren’t required to modify who we are in order to all live in peace with one another. Perception belongs to us all, as does our ability to rationalize situations and apply our words appropriately.

We all have infinite ability to turn that dog shit into diamonds, should we choose to do so.

Draw the parallels: Dog shit smells and people will avoid stepping into it…it embeds into the bottom on their shoes and it is drug into the house and spread throughout every room.

Diamonds are breathtaking, of great value, in high demand, and adorn wherever they are worn.

With spoken and written words, we can stink or we can beautify.

Why Words Matter – Part I

My urge to write is constant. Thoughts that are forever taxing my head are begging to be released to the page.

An unfortunate and pathetic (for a writer and someone who commands language) truth to the stall between my posts is the bewitching question I too often apply to me AND my supposed audience, and it is this:

Who cares?

Such a magical, powerful, sad, influential, and ultimately dissuadingly argumentative two words. Who cares? I hear people say this all the time. I see this in response to social media posts that obviously don’t engage the reader on any level. Who cares?

I ask myself this as I suffer to rectify an infinite number of philosophies and actions in this world. For me, this question is FAR from rhetorical. Answers I seek to satisfy this query are those that could offer any probabilities and possibilities.

Inevitably, I find myself coming back to a confidence fueled by frustration; incited by the infinite and growing apathy of the world. And my answer is: I care. That’s really all that matters. That I am forever viewed as pedantic, erudite, loquacious, verbose, or perspicacious doesn’t bother me in the least.

That’s hoity-toity, smug, uppity, brainy, arrogant, snooty, geeky, and smartypants to all those asking “who cares?”.

My rant today is two-fold. What I see. Why it matters.

Words. Statements. Phrases. Communication. Questions. Opinions. News. Blogs. Grammatical structure. Content. Observations. Voice passivity. Language. Literary appreciation.

It’s all gone to hell in a great many ways I’ve watched throughout my lifetime, and with great rapidity.

Why?

First, permit me to provide examples of the crucifixion of our language and way of speaking that I notice every single day.

Media is a joke. To people with even half a brain, it’s insulting. Mainstream news outlets, local stations, random rogue blogs – all of them – shoot out information (true or false, it doesn’t matter) at rapid-fire speed. In the all-out war to be first with the news, first to be seen, noisiest, top, most important – content is neglected. Words are misspelled or written twice, grammatical structure becomes nonexistent, and typos abound.

WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?

It is really quite simple.

Words written incorrectly, printed out of proper context, or even situated in the wrong order can change an entire story from right to wrong or even from bad to good…or worse. An intended audience targeted, a strong point attempted, and a mass attraction are all quickly missed just by a poorly written article. The conveyed messaged is lost under a mound of ignorance.

Such practice not only misinforms and fails miserably to educate, but it sends the very dangerous message reflecting an uneducated and apathetic writer pandering to an already-disinterested audience. That message is that it is ok to wallow in ignorance. It is just fine to dismiss mistakes, even when they’re abundant. It is always acceptable to not hold writers to standards of excellence.

In turn, one has to question what purpose could the media serve other than to control what the readers think and believe.

The “who cares?” crowd will always be the ones most-easily kept within the demonic claw of media hypnotism.

And with the expectation of immediate informational dissemination and journalistic superiority, our ability to speak correctly and efficiently communicate through digital and direct means has been murdered. Machines – computers, cell phones, tablets, televisions – and apathy have minimized and devalued physical in-person interactions and human social connection.

Technology has eliminated people’s capacity to spell words; to grasp meaningful content and – most importantly – to develop critical thought expressed through creative writing and speaking.

In short, writers’ and journalists’ posts are LAZY, misguided, and just plain confusing. Multiple times daily I throw fits about where we as a collective race are going in this hand basket, after having painstakingly endured typo after typo and improper use of language in what the media is belching out to the sheeple masses.

But who cares, right?

HERE IS WHY YOU SHOULD CARE

Human intellect is directly correlated with thought, behavior, and speech. An intelligent person viewing the world and all of its contents on a higher plane will think, behave, and speak well. Very well. It is the structure, the fiber of what defines them; how others perceive them and what they contribute to the world around them.

Education, experiences, and willfulness of each individual lend to the treatment of others. Those continually exposed to obscene language, images, and behavior will act crudely toward others. They will speak in slang, curse, defile; and possibly be prone to violence. They will hate.

It is the very definition and description of the old adage, “Garbage in, garbage out”.

Those who have no higher expectation or inclination to speak and think decently will have little care for how they are treated and for how they treat others.

Hate speech – read and heard – will incite hateful behavior. Calm, rational speech will promote thinking, harmony, understanding, and pursuit of knowledge.

Therefore, it is only reasonable to believe that the dumbing down, cruelty, and finger-pointing of society can be directly placed upon media’s shoulders. Though they are not solely to blame, they are directly responsible.

News and social media are the most powerful influences on the planet. Their images and links are forever in the forefront, spewing details of every subject to billions of readers.

Political correctness used rampantly and necessarily in media content has deformed, buried, and bastardized thought and speech. Fear of offending anyone has turned perfectly innocent words and thoughts into that which is considered offensive or inciting. In doing so, true meaning and intent behind words and critical thinking have been diluted and frequently punished.

Customarily opposed to tagging people in the society-determined “boomer” and/or “millennial” silos, there is still no denying that it is overwhelmingly younger individuals – those aged 20-32, give or take – who dominate journalist and writing roles.

This is a significant fact to take into consideration. The gold-star, self-appreciating, why-do-I-care, gimme-everything group aforementioned are those least likely to put any thought or effort into their writing or speaking because:

They’ve been programmed, brainwashed into asserting and believing that everything they do is perfect, and should be without question or challenge. Mommy told me so; I couldn’t possibly do anything wrong.
They’ve had little or no exposure to culture or creativity. Ask any individual between the ages of 15 and 30 how many hardback novels they’ve picked up and read, how many pictures they’ve drawn or painted, how many musical instruments they play, how many museums they’ve visited, or how many states they have traveled to (those trips not sanctioned through an educational institution). I fear the answer would be frightfully, staggeringly low.
Their collective apathy. The millennials are most likely, most frequently, and quickest to ask “who cares?” because they haven’t been taxed or positioned to question ANYTHING around them. When you are right about everything, there couldn’t possibly be a reason to think about it any further.
They lack respect for people, words, and humanity in general. Technology has shaped newer generations into insular lumps by confining their interests to a small screen and not toward other humans or the bigger picture of the world. When suddenly thrust into social situations requiring engagement, talking, and eye contact, they freeze with fear. They become defiant and defensive, protecting their space like a ferocious tiger would horde a slab of raw meat.
They’ve simply not been educated to care. Humans, regardless of age, need a foundation – purpose, reason – to act. Whether an excuse or reward are those which can justify and entice behavior, they all fare much better than the old mother’s threat, “Because I said so”.

Conversely, it is the generations of boomers and Xs that are also very likely to express the apathetic “who cares?”, but for different reasons. As an X-er, I can attest that that is an attitude or approach that will simply come with age. We learn to pick our battles as we age.

Do NOT confuse aging with maturing. They are mutually exclusive.

Caring about anything is good human nature. Attentiveness to what we say, how we say it, how we portray that which we pronounce is the foundation of our existence and we will reap what we sow…whether we care or not.

The next time you find yourself reading a news article or listening to someone speak and you notice that your reaction is “who cares?”, prepare yourself to change your mindset by practicing these:

Question everything. Do not wait for an answer – go out and find it for yourself. You’ll be amazed at how quickly it will come to you and the impact it will have.
Correct yourself and others. Be opened to someone who tells you that you’ve spelled or pronounced a word incorrectly, and scold someone who constantly speaks profanely. Not only will you increase your skills in grammar, you will strengthen your tolerance, confidence, and humility as a human.
Open your mind. Sign up for websites that feed the information to you. It’s painless, not remotely time consuming, and you just may find great interest in it: https://www.dictionary.com/e/word-of-the-day/.
Write. Read. Talk. Practice makes perfect. As in anything we do, the improvement comes with consistency.

Tell yourself “I care” and practice it.

Equal is an Element of Math

If you’re a mathematician calculating equations, equality is essential. Everything needs to add up.

Applying, expecting, demanding equality among humans is lesser of an exacting science. Variables weighed into making all people equal and satisfying cries for equality is an unachievable dream.

Equality is a myth, an aspiration never to be achieved.

But that’s not a doomsday prophecy, if you think about it. Do you actually WANT to be equal to everyone else? Same hair, same skin, same intelligence, same house, same salary, same ability to travel the globe, same family structure?

I would sure hope not. How dull and boring and monotonous would be the planet.

Yet, we are inundated daily with screams of inequality in the forms of bias accusations, workplace expectations, and legal entitlements.

Ah…there’s that word: ENTITLEMENT. What am I owed? What do I deserve? Who or what is keeping me from leading the peaceful life that I so desire?

Questions to which the answers are: nothing and no one.

We are all born into our own place – I don’t know yours. You don’t know mine. That doesn’t mean that we can’t or shouldn’t accept and allow that “permission” to live as we like and as we see fit, nor does it mean degrading and demeaning any other human being to do it.

No one HAS to be equal to do or gain ANYTHING.

Equality, if it did exist, would be disastrous. Humans, should they even remotely be able to attain equality, would still be miserable. They would STILL find something to argue or disagree about. They will still stand in judgement of others; they would still want something more.

Humans are insatiable – and selfish – creatures.

But that is the beauty of inequality. It is living and permitting lives, regardless of how different they happen to be from your own.

The “Keeping Up With the Joneses” mentality is rife in our country. Far too many people are twitching their curtains, peeking over the back fence, and coveting what their neighbor has…and wanting – nay, demanding – the same thing.

This perception is fueled by zealots, misguided as their challenges often are, convincing the weak or the lost that the latter are being cheated out of what is “rightfully” due them.

Another illusion to dupe those too lazy, entitled, or directionless individuals into believing that that which should make them in life be handed directly to them.

By whom? Another culture, not their own? A different race? A top company? The government?

I watched groups rise up, and I laugh and shake my head at the glaring, hilarious, and often sad irony of it all.

Those most-loudly demanding equality are those people who deem themselves “individuals”; groups that want to be recognized for who they are and expect to be treated differently than everyone else…

Huh? Wouldn’t that be the antithesis of “equal”? Do you see where I’m going with this? You can’t have it both ways.

*See “entitlement” above.

Few and far between are the media stories, nonprofit groups, or individuals offering the education for people to attain success or status driven by hard work and ingenuity.

That’s just too much work.

Let me go back to “equal”. Here are some areas where we all are on “the same playing field”, if you will:

We all live on the same planet.
Americans all have the same president. Here, we are all bound by the same laws and we are all expected to pay taxes.
Eventually, all of us will die.

Beyond that, there are only differences.

Thank God.

The notion of never achieving equality should not concern you.

What is the most horrifying thought is the potential of having your differences taken away from you; being instructed that you have to conform to fit it and the instruction that you MUST be like EVERYONE. You get nothing more and nothing less than anyone else.

Give that some thought the next time you perceive yourself as oppressed, ignored, or overlooked; and consider what the alternative very well may be. The grass is not always greener on the other side of that fence that you’re peeking over…

I will fight to my death to keep my uniqueness, my individuality, my nonconformity.

You can continue to pursue – and demand – your equality.