Rakhi Jayashankar's Blog, page 101

Red Flag- Is distrust tearing your marriage apart

RED FLAG: Is distrust tearing your marriage apart

Author: Titania Hudson
Format: Kindle Edition

Is jealousy killing the romance in the marriage? Are the insecurities 

and fears of a jealousy spouse driving you insane, what with the 

feelings of frustration and anxiety you're subject to, whenever your

 spouse puts you through multiple tests to ascertain if you've actually

 crossed the boundaries of fidelity and commitment. 

Don't lose hope and succumb to temptation, simply because you are 

surrounded by plentiful admirers, and you are trying to find ways to 

escape from your marriage problems! 

With this detailed love guide, you can run a mental check on the trust issues troubling you and your spouse. 

. What are the root causes of distrust and how they can place your marriage under duress? 

. Explain the concept of jealousy and how it can destroy a relationship through its adverse 

effects 

. Ways to tell if you actually married a spouse who's prone to fits of jealousy 

. Top ten secrets men and women hide from their own spouses 

. 20 effective tips to help you to nurture the growth of trust between married couples 


My Review

Red Flag is a non-fiction book on relationships. As the title suggest, the author warns us about the dangers that we might encounter, if we ignore the signs of jealousy and mistrust in relations. Citing the statistics of increasing divorces, author reinforces the fact that a successful marriage needs a lot of conscious effort. The book is divided into six chapters. The introductory first chapter explains the signs of jealousy and mistrust, or simply stating, the red flag.The symptoms, as it might be termed, make us feeling that every marriage is just the same. One way or other we can relate to the  marital life of either ourselves or someone we know  about. Author has perfectly used experience of working as a dating counselor in citing the point by point account of troublesome relations.

The second chapter tells how to cope up with the signs. It explains the view point of the jealous partner as well as the victim.  The third and forth chapters explains the ten secrets men and women hide from their respective partners.The fifth chapter can be called the show stopper. It describe the 20 tips for a successful marriage.A marriage is an agreement where in both parties agree to make amendments on their personal preferences. East or west, relationships are the same.

 The books will leave 90% of the readers wondering how the author came to know about their relationship because she has explained the subtle nuances of all types of  relations. The twenty effective tips are quite effective if practiced with an open heart.

The book might create magic in your life if you  read it and practice the tips with an open and receptive mind. 

Book is small with 66  pages which makes us feel like it finished before we started but the vision it permeates is far more than the 66 pages.

Positives

 The book is a close knit one with out any loose ends. It covers all major points. Author pin points every point without unnecessary dragging explanations.

Negatives

The chapter four, explaining the ten secrets that women withhold, some points of which, seem irrelevant. 


Overall the book is worth the time and money because all we live for is to have a healthy beutiful happy life 

which would not be possible without a good relationship.

Rating

3.5/5

The kindle version is available at Amazon

About the author
Titania Hudson is a veteran dating counsellor residing in Los Angeles with her husband and three children. Now, a self-published author, she aspires to develop a series of dating books to help others cruise along their dating journeys. 

With a specialized degree in Psychology and years of experience under her belt, she is familiar with the crises in dating and adept at highlighting the troubling issues that can crop up within the dating and marriage mart. Nothing pleases her more than having the chance to publish her relationship guides as a form of giving back to society, and she gains much satisfaction from knowing that her readers are faring well in their love pursuits.

While working as a dating counselor in her earlier days, she came across a varied mix of couples, who upheld different values, beliefs and aspirations in life. Some couples were vexed over their seemingly irreconcilable differences, but they were determined to make their relationship work; others had it easier with their other half, except that they wanted to be mentally prepared to face any trials that may surface in the course of their courtship and/or marriage. 

Seeing couples split up was definitely something she hated to see while doing her job, and she felt that couples needed to have a clear understanding of what they want in a partner and not force themselves to accept one another 'blindly' in spite of the apparent faults and differences present in both individuals. That belief led her to start thinking about writing a series of dating books to encourage all couples to adopt a practical yet healthy perspective of what love actually means to them.

Till to-date, she has published a series of dating books under her name. They are none other than: How To Make A Guy Believe You're The One For Him, Get Him To Propose In 80 Days, Go Getter Guy Secrets To Successful Dates and Red Flag: Is Distrust Tearing Your Marriage Apart?

Because you are a girl

As a first attempt into indispire, I was excited to get a very novel topic. Does women need equality or empathy

Well I thought over the idea for long but could not find the right answer. Why? Because women need neither equality, nor empathy. Then what on earth does she need?

FREEDOM . FREEDOM for what?


Freedom of expression, freedom of movement, freedom of life.

From childhood, parents keep on telling you should not do this because you are a girl. You should not do that because you area girl.
You should keep your legs closer because your are a girl.
You should not keep one leg over the other because you are a girl.
You should not whistle because you are a girl.
You should not jump around because you are a girl.
BECAUSE YOU ARE A GIRL.
 From childhood, girls are reminded that they are an inferior gender and you expect them to excel in all areas! They would rather you ignored them instead of stopped showing empathy or providing equality in a plate of generosity. Instead of teaching them how to behave, teach your sons what to do because you are a boy.
Respect women because you are a boy.
Consider them as human beings, not a mass of flesh, because you are a boy.

Women does not need equality or empathy. Indira Gandhi did not become Indian Prime Minister through reservation or empathy. She and many other women came to the forefront because their family asked them not to back off because they were girls or women.
Bring up your girls telling them that they are not inferior because they are girls. Bring up your boys telling them that they are not superior because they are boys.

Tell your child about good and bad touch. .protect your child

The incident which happened in Bangalore a year back still send chill through my spines. Since my child started going to school, I was always thinking about how to make her distinguish between good and bad.
 It's really confusing since we have to caution them from even our friends and close relatives without offending them. We pick and drop our child to our school but are they safe at school? They ought to be but you never know. They might think if its okay when the school caretaker help them remove their undergarments? Since they are just toddlers they might need help with it. So, where lies the line between good and bad touch. We know, but do they know?

For that we need to educate them about their body parts naming them the way it suits their age. Tell them that its not permissible to touch them or to show them unless they need to be cleansed, which is the role of their parents or caretakers. Again, can we trust the caretakers? There lies the importance of understanding what's  abusing. Make them understand the difference. DON'T UNDERESTIMATE YOUR CHILD. Don't think that they won't understand of I tell all these. They are way too intelligent than you think.
Another point is, don't force them to kiss or hug a relative or friend or a stranger if they are not comfortable, how ever close they might be. Because, this might send wrong signs. They might think that its okay to be close with people whom they are not comfortable with. Its doesn't mean that you should keep your friends and relatives away. Just talk to them. They will understand and if they don't, their friendship or relations is not worth it.
These are all easy to say but difficult to practice. There is someone who will help us with this.
Meet Deepa Kumar, maker of  HowToTellYourChild.com , a platform that provides educators  and parents easy tools to teach children tough topics like sexual abuse and puberty. The platform provides animated videos, tools and products to make this education fun and positive. SIGN UP FOR FREE AND GET TO WATCH EDUCATING VIDEOS AND FREE NEWSLETTERS, BED TIME SAFETY STORIES AND MORE. JOIN THERE NEW MOVEMENT. No sexual abuse on my watch where we can take the pledge.

Tata Sky+ Transfer- End of remote war

I have been thinking of writing about a best friend lately. What is the criteria of being a best friend? They should be with you in happiness and sorrow, they should make you happy when you are sad, they should boost you when you are happy, they should entertain you when you are bored. In short, they should understand you and provide you with whatever succor you expect from them. Life is moving at such a fast pace that it's practically impossible for us to find such a friend these days but luckily I got one. MY MOBILE.Hey, don't laugh. I'm serious. I will tell you why

TV was the soul mate of everyone in my family. There had been a war for remote for years, in my home. I watches my reality shows, music and movie channels, my mother watches her daily sops, my brother watches his cricket matches and my dad watches action movies. All with different interests and different temperament. Poor remote:( It suffered the hell of the times and was replaced innumerably since my brother used to use it as his cricket ball when denied the permission to watch his match. When I became a wife and a mother, my kids sat in front of the TV like couch potatoes and I had to stop watching my sweet soul mate to show example to them. My poor shows, they might have missed me:(


But now, Tata Sky+ Transfer turned the once battle field into a peaceful abode since no one fights for the remote anymore. It works simply. Just buy a Tata Sky+ Transfer box, click the app transfer the program directly from TV to your phone and peacefully watch it on your own best friend.

Aren't you excitedd with this new technological boom. This is the future. If you don't want to be obsolete click here http://www.tatasky.com/transfer/. and join the TRANSFERKARS

Krishna Key- Not a review but an analysis of the reviews

Originally published: 2012Author: Ashwin SanghiCountry: IndiaPreceded by: Chanakya's ChantGenres: Novel, Thriller










    Krishna key is a thriller. A mythological or historical thriller? No! Its not since the story line doesn't go through the old times. It is a story that analyses the documentations related to the mythology surrounding Krishna and trying to reinforce that Krishna did indeed exist and that all other literature had been an adopted versions of the vedas. Had the author expalined these in a non-fiction book, noone would have bothered to read. Hence the fictional element. The ardent research the author made reaches the readers through a background story. Why I thought of writing this discussion? I will get to it after giving a brief account on the story.


    Coming to the story: Professor Saini is arrested and treated like a criminal by the police. Why? Because he was the last visitor of Prof, Varshney who was murdered and also because he possessed the seal which belonged to Prof.Varshney. I was wondering if it is so easy to Charge someone of a grave murder on these two grounds. Questioning is another matter but torturing in a Jail as bad as Abu Gharib! Well I don't have personal experiences so I will keep it with myself.

    Next we see Prof. Ravi Mohan Saini on a run to save his face with the help of his doctoral student Priya. Thenceforth we witness several nail biting incidents,murders,accusations, revelations. A serial killer who thinks that he is the eighth Avatar of Vishnu and murders the scientists for retaining dharma. Tharak Vakil's character is well conceived. We can relate with the helpless boy who later gets transformed into a cold blooded murderer. Just that, even if the author reinforces that he is intelligent, we feel that he is dump for following the orders blindly.
Discussion
    The novel is irrevocably an Indian version of Angels and Demons and that's the main criticism the author faced, not that he cares. I feel that its not a negative but a positive. All Indians know that we have a lineage of rich culture, heritage, literature and art but we never bothered to go into the roots of the paraphernalia of cultural background. Ashwin Sanghi portrayed this channel so clearly and crisply  that we will end up raising our head high for being in a country with such rich history, the present day scenario is not good though. Nevertheless, Ashwin has succeeded in playing the role of Indian Dan Brown. I don't understand why is ti considered unpropitious. Author has researched well for this book and the research paid off well. The connection between the victims' surnames and the clans of Krishna and the Anagrams of Tarak Vakil and Sir Khan are interesting. Author intertwined the history with the present , seamlessly.

     We comes to know that Prof.Saini was in love Priya while he was on exile. The love part was not needed at all. The author mentioned it in just a sentence but it was biting in the whole story line since he falls in love again with Radhika Singh, whom he met days before and considers her as soul mate. Had Priya not been the vamp, would he think of Radhika for a moment? Is spending a few days, may be between life and death, a criteria to fall in love? There was no mentioning about any attraction between the two of them and all of a sudden they end up in a bedroom.! Does a book need to have a bedroom sequence for the reader to think highly of it? No, I dont think so. May be the sequence was needed to explain the quote " The philosopher more inportant than the stone." The same takes a star off.








Originally published: 2012Author: Ashwin SanghiCountry: IndiaPreceded by: Chanakya's ChantGenres: Novel, Thriller










    Krishna key is a thriller. A mythological or historical thriller? No! Its not since the story line doesn't go through the old times. It is a story that analyses the documentations related to the mythology surrounding Krishna and trying to reinforce that Krishna did indeed exist and that all other literature had been an adopted versions of the vedas. Had the author explained these in a non-fiction book, noone would have bothered to read. Hence the fictional element. The ardent research the author made reaches the readers through a background story. Why I thought of writing this discussion? I will get to it after giving a brief account on the story.


    Coming to the story: Professor Saini is arrested and treated like a criminal by the police. Why? Because he was the last visitor of Prof, Varshney who was murdered and also because he possessed the seal which belonged to Prof.Varshney. I was wondering if it is so easy to Charge someone of a grave murder on these two grounds. Questioning is another matter but torturing in a Jail as bad as Abu Gharib! Well I don't have personal experiences so I will keep it with myself.

    Next we see Prof. Ravi Mohan Saini on a run to save his face with the help of his doctoral student Priya. Thenceforth we witness several nail biting incidents,murders,accusations, revelations. A serial killer who thinks that he is the eighth Avatar of Vishnu and murders the scientists for retaining dharma. Tharak Vakil's character is well conceived. We can relate with the helpless boy who later gets transformed into a cold blooded murderer. Just that, even if the author reinforces that he is intelligent, we feel that he is dump for following the orders blindly.
Discussion
    The novel is irrevocably an Indian version of Angels and Demons and that's the main criticism the author faced, not that he cares. I feel that its not a negative but a positive. All Indians know that we have a lineage of rich culture, heritage, literature and art but we never bothered to go into the roots of the paraphernalia of cultural background. Ashwin Sanghi portrayed this channel so clearly and crisply  that we will end up raising our head high for being in a country with such rich history, the present day scenario is not good though. Nevertheless, Ashwin has succeeded in playing the role of Indian Dan Brown. I don't understand why is ti considered unpropitious. Author has researched well for this book and the research paid off well. The connection between the victims' surnames and the clans of Krishna and the Anagrams of Tarak Vakil and Sir Khan are interesting. Author intertwined the history with the present , seamlessly.

     We comes to know that Prof.Saini was in love Priya while he was on exile. The love part was not needed at all. The author mentioned it in just a sentence but it was biting in the whole story line since he falls in love again with Radhika Singh, whom he met days before and considers her as soul mate. Had Priya not been the vamp, would he think of Radhika for a moment? Is spending a few days, well between life and death, a criteria to fall in love? There was no mentioning about any attraction between the two of them and all of a sudden they end up in a bedroom.! Does a book need to have a bedroom sequence for the reader to think highly of it? Nay, I don't think so. May be the sequence was needed to explain the quote " The philosopher more important than the stone." The same takes a star off.

Advice Adda , India's first and largest advisory portal

Advises are those piece of words that we hate the most, even if provided free of cost. Especially when they come from the older generation. " I know what to do" would be our response. Yes, I hate advice too. 
But, what if it comes from an expert, that too anonymously!! And free of cost.Does that ring a bell? Advises regarding education, career, relationships,men's and women's health,sex,mental health, legal issues,'money, parenting,property, beauty,gadgets and what not.
The right message might resurrect you from the slumber of pain and depression.DEPRESSION is not about sitting alone in a corner, or ranting or becoming violent. A mere dejection might take its toll. Opening your heart to someone might ease you of the subdued fear and sorrow but due to the fear of society, many refrain from seeking help. If someone accidentally see you at the counselor's abode. Alas!!That's where Advice Adda comes into picture. Sorry for the long intro but the website is quite worth it. It deals with all the aforesaid issues , that too expert advice. A TEAM OF 65 PROFESSIONALLY QUALIFIED EXPERIENCED EXPERTS.  If you think that this website is only for those with personal problems or psychological or clinical issues, you are mistaken. The variances of the genres of expertise is the unique quality of Advice Adda. Other than the clinical and psychological experts, they also have a team of make up artists, personal trainer, journalist and more. You can sign up in a single click and posting queries are even easier. The page views are soon proceeding to a million with 2 and a half unique users. I myself examined the portal and found it quite helpful. The answers are quite clear and up to the point. PositivesInstead of using complicated terms and confusing the seeker, the experts are very friendly and cooperative.Promptness is another quality of the portal. We don't have to wait indefinitely to get a reply.
What will you lose by just having a look. I'm sure you would not go back without sharing your predicament and seeking advice
 http://adviceadda.com
You can be a part of this novel venture by CROW FUNDING them. The details follows
http://www.catapooolt.com/campaign/in...

FOR THE HOMEMAKERS- FOLLOW YOUR PASSION

I have been asked these days why I am not going for a job? Why did you end up looking after your kids? Why did you study so much? and worst of all Why do you SACRIFICE so much? Is looking after kids a sacrifice!! It is the best learning experiece. Trust me! They teach us a lot about life and relationships. Is the finding a job, the sole purpose of education? Given a chance ,I would continue studying till my last breath and I still am.
I am sure a lot of my homemaker friends have faced the same questions. And who is to be blamed? the poor husbands!! Well, I am swaying from the topic
Following your passion is never an inferior predicament,In fact, it is the luckiest thing to do. Just because you don't go out and work under someone or you don't run a business, you don't become useless. FOLLOW YOUR PASSION. Make the maximum out of the celebrated homemaker title and relieve your spouses of the blame of tying up their wives in the four walls of the house. I am doing this for my first childJayashankar Balakrishnan
If at least one agree with me, I am blessed. DO SHARE YOUR PASSION AND INTERESTS IF YOU AGREE WITH ME AND DON'T FORGET TO DEDICATE IT TO YOUR BETTER HALF. I AM SHARING MINE lets make this a celebrationhttps://www.wattpad.com/myworks/48818...

Is troubling parents a quintessential new-gen dude and diva quality

Lately I overheard a conversation. Overheard would not be the right term because I did not deliberately listen to them( I don't want to be trademarked as a gossipmonger :-)
Well, while the rhetoric was happening between two people standing behind me I had to let the sound waves enter my Tympanum.
It went like this.
Speaker 1: I just went to have a regular visit to the doctor but I was admitted immediately for a surgery.
Speaker2: Oh my god! how adveturous you are
Speaker1: I am a spoiled brat, you know. I don't go home regularly, I don't listen to my parents.
Speaker2: Me2 and they hi fived.
Speaker1: But you are a good guy, rt? But I am not.
Speaker2: Yeah May be. (He looked at his friend adoringly.)

The relation between parents and children is the most precious, notwithstanding the greatness of carrying one's child in womb for nine months or the sacrifice of toiling to bring up their child. I am no one to tell anyone to love their parents but would like to request the new gen folks not to find happiness in troubling them. Its was never cool and would never be.

Canarian Flight

The canaries are all set to fly. The wings are all kept still and unruffled to avoid further hassles. Their mother banyan will spread its branches in the minds the readers

Ajaya -Roll of Dice by Anand Neelakantan. A review

                       
                          
The epic which ruled the hearts of zillions could be remade only by legends. Here Anand Neelakantan did not just remake the epic but engineered the right weapon to cut thought the story which was as strong as a diamond. It might have been suidical hadn't he portrayed this antagonistic Mahabharath in the most exquisite and aesthetic manner. The author showed the mettle to demolish the rotten yet celebrated belief of victory of good over evil. He saw through the invalidity of Dharma which justified the vile atrocities And blindfolded the mass.

             


Author seamlessly portrayed Suyodhana's side of the story. The story of Mahabharata is known to everyone, yet author succeeded in inducing the curiosity in the readers to know what happens next; or to put it this way- how does the author view each instances. The quintessential example would be Arjun shooting the parrot, which was viewed as an act of chivalry but the pain of the bird and its mate was not seen by anyone till date or no one dared to point out. The rebellious venture of the author was real chivalry. During the initial part of the story, portraying the Pandavas as bullies was painful but while sailing in the same boat of Suyodhana, the author opened new realms of thoughts and insight to the predisposition of Pandavas' Dharma. Ekalavya's escape from Thakshaka, Karna's competition to become the Dharmaveera, etc are explained stupendously. No visual media would provide the effects that he permeated through words.
 Arjuna who was considered the greatest warrior in the history was impotent in accepting the favoritism. Eklavya who gave his thumb as Gurudakshina proved that he was more of a man. The society which brutally follows care system accepts polygamy and polyandry is a contradiction. Author succeeded in divulging several similar social double standards.
The book makes the reader yearning for the sequel. How does he portray Bhagavath Geetha would be interesting to see. But for that we need to wait for the sequel.Can't wait to grab a copy of Rise of Kali
The book contains a lot of characters but none seems negligible.  Author made sure that each character was portrayed with utmost perfection. The fact that author decided to write the story in two books is an intelligent decision.
Except for a few typos and the word Utopian used by Bhishma, the book is a nearly perfect one

I feel really small in rating the book but I would rate it 4/5.