Ruth Ehrhardt's Blog, page 2

The Power of the Lullaby

Written reflections for Mother’s Day — 11 May 2025

Yesterday was Mother’s Day — and with this commemoration of Mothers and Motherhood, I want to feel into the power of the lullaby: what it means for motherhood, and what it truly is.

The power of the lullaby.

There are a few threads I want to explore:

Discovering the power of the lullaby as a motherDiscovering its power in labourAnd witnessing how it settles the nervous system — not just for the baby, but for everyone

When I say “lullaby,” I don’t just mean Hush, Little Baby or Rock-a-bye Baby — though those songs have their place. It’s more than that.

Having had four children, I found myself — again and again — in the darkness and stillness of the night, alone with my baby. In those moments, I had to draw on an inner strength, very similar to how I had to tap into that inner strength in labour. There are times when every mother reaches that place — where it feels like you almost can’t go on, yet there you are: rocking, walking, lying with, or feeding your baby. Deep presence is called for. I believe that the essence of the lullaby was born from those moments.

It’s the rhythm, the repetition — that rocking motion, both sonic and physical — that makes a lullaby so powerful. Many are passed down through generations and across cultures. They’re usually very simple. Like the Zulu lullaby Tula Baba. Just Tula Baba, Tula Baba… over and over again. It’s not about the complexity. It’s about the transmission.

The lullaby is drawn from the place where you feel you have nothing left to give. It’s from that well that so much of motherhood is sourced. And it is a deep, incredible power to be able to tap into that.

In labour, I found something similar. Each of my births taught me something different, but in all of them, my voice became a tool. A resource. With my fourth birth, it wasn’t just a tool — it became a channel. When a surge came and I fully opened to it, a sound emerged that was high, pure, and clean. I wasn’t using my voice just to express; I was letting something move through me. It became a channelling of life force.

I’ve sung my whole life. It’s always been a way of expressing myself. But singing after birth — after having resourced myself through voice in labour and then using that same voice to connect with my children — something changed. I no longer feel like I’m singing from myself. I feel like I’m singing through myself. That I’m resourcing from the infinite.

That’s what labour teaches. What motherhood teaches. That we can only go so far within ourselves. There comes a point where we must draw from beyond — from life force, God, Great Spirit…

Now, when I sing, I don’t feel like I’m the one doing it.

My voice is the instrument, my body the tool, but what’s moving through is life itself.

That is the power of the lullaby.

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Childbirth, Eros and Sexuality

This has been a long requested Study Spiral and Debora is the perfect person to bring this offering to these sessions. She is a beautiful and tender birth attendant who truly understands what it means to guard and protect birth and she has immersed herself a myriad of teachings on intimacy, touch and sexuality. She has a deep understanding of how these worlds are intertwined and I very much look forward to what she will be sharing with us.

In this session, we’re going to explore something truly extraordinary—the deep, interconnected system that makes human life on Earth possible.

Menstruation, sexuality, orgasm, pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding are all part of one grand design—a bridge between dimensions. This system connects cosmic and earthly consciousness, the divine and the animal, celestial mechanics and our physical bodies.

The reproductive-sexual system is the sacred shrine where life itself is propagated, and in this session, we’ll restore a vision that brings birth and sexuality together into a single, beautiful tapestry. We’ll uncover how the continuity of life—across all species—is intimately linked to pleasure and eros.

Join us as we honor the extraordinary system that sustains life and explore how birth and sexuality are woven together in ways that are both powerful and sacred.

About Debora 

In the field of love and eros, I am an all-round activist, from the political-socio-cultural to the holistic-spiritual-shamanic perspective. I practice Yoga of Touch and facilitate circles, retreats and individual session on pleasure, intimacy, sensuality, relating, communication, emotional and bodywork.

I am a birthkeeper and doula, deeply involved in public speaking and advocating in this field. I deal with attachment parenting, spontaneous learning, non-directive education, trauma and conditioning related to the primal period and childhood, unlearning, paradigm shifts.

Death and grief doula.

Facilitator of group processes.

Passionate about deep ecology, bioregionalism, biophilia, I accompany groups and individuals in nature connection activities, wilderness awareness, outdoor education and experiential learning.

MusicArTherapist, percussionist, vocalist, performer, dance teacher. I make goddesses and vulvas from clay.

Traveller, expert in divergent lifestyles, activist.

Debora’s Social Media Links

Instagram

Facebook

Telegram

To book for the upcoming study spiral see here

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Are you interested in joining A Journey of True Midwifery?

Are you interested in joining A Journey of True Midwifery taking place from 12 – 17 May 2025 in Southern Portugal but you have some questions or would like to just get a feel for the course, the facilitators and the content?

Ruth Ehrhardt, Samara Hawthorn and Alex Khula invite you to a free information session call this Wednesday the 12th of February

Please fill in this form to sign up for the call and we will send you the link to join the call an hour before we begin.

Thank you and looking forward to meeting you.

Much love,

Ruth, Samara and Alex 

A Journey of True Midwifery

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What is it About Birth? (video reading)

What is it about birth?

It is as though time suspends itself and something unique unfolds from within the labouring woman.

She has purred, sighed, breathed, whimpered, cried her way through her contractions, these life giving pains which make her rock her hips, make her moan and groan, make her eyes roll back in her head, make her sweat, make her hate, make her angry, make her one, make her have to give in, give up, surrender.

And as she surrenders something primal is unlocked and this, this essence, this power takes over, her body is no longer her own.

She sits on the loo, or she squats, or she kneels, or she lies on her side.She grunts and moans, red slime drips down her thighs, she feels overwhelmed.

She may stand up, she may look up, she may feel with her hand as the head of the baby slowly stretches her perineum. She seems more alert now. There. Present.

She may crouch down, or breathe, or gasp, or moan, or scream as her baby’s head emerges, not quite believing the sensation of this slimy little head stretching stretching stretching her wide open.

The head emerges and hangs, almost lifeless.

The world holds its breath.

Then a splutter, or a crackle, or a bubble of spittle and a grimace. Then slowly, slowly, the baby’s head turns – as though ready to face the world and with a newfound power, the little body ejects itself, swimming forth in a gush of blood and water and shit.

Again, it is as though time has suspended itself as the baby, still aquatic in its features and colour, begins to move, sometimes throwing its arms back and stretching its back like a ballet dancer, and sometimes uncurling slowly slowly slowly as though waking from a deep sleep.

A gurgle, a crackle, a soft cry. Slippery body, oily white vernix, blinking eyes, stretching fingers and toes. Cord pulsating. Body breathing.

Mother touching. Stroking. Smelling. Kissing. Whispering. Crying. Laughing. Grateful. Astonished. Astounded. Holding. Loving. Ecstatic. Triumphant.

Perfect. Beautiful. Primal. Sublime.

What is it about birth?

This…

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Educational Expectations of The Silent Birthkeeper Course

Coming from a Montessori background I feel very aligned with the philosophy of freedom of choice and freedom of movement and this has always fed into how I hold space for birth. For me, it has always been more about creating a safe environment for birth that meets the basic needs of the labouring woman as opposed to dictating, managing, guiding or coaching. A space where the labouring woman can find HER unique way in her mothering journey. I feel similarly about the education of those attending births. I do not feel it is up to me to dictate to you what the right way for you to attend births is but to rather create a space where you can explore and learn at your own pace over a year, in a closed group, meeting regularly to share and discuss.

You can expect to immerse yourself in the following over the 12-month journey together:

⁃ What is ‘True Midwifery’? What does it look like?

⁃ A deep look at our collective and personal history as birthkeepers ⁃ Exploring and finding clarity on this path

⁃ Ceremony, dance, tradition, meditation, and song ⁃ Preparing an ideal learning environment for yourself and supporting one another

⁃ Listening skills

⁃ Self Care

⁃ Birth Stories, storytelling, and learning from birth stories

⁃ The Basic Needs of a Woman in Pregnancy, Labour, and Birth

⁃ Basic midwifery skills, terminology, and record-keeping

⁃ Antenatal/Prenatal care ⁃ If you are assisting at birth, what is your role in labour, birth, and postpartum

⁃ Immediate postpartum care of mother and baby

⁃ Introduction to care and assessment of the newborn

⁃ Breastfeeding

⁃ Cultural competency in childbirth and care of women

⁃ Sexual Abuse Triggers in Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Postpartum

⁃ Pregnancy and Birth Complications

⁃ Difficult outcomes, grief, and death

⁃ Homeopathy and herbs

⁃ Connection and support within your birthing community

BOOKINGS CLOSE 4 NOVEMBER 2024

For more information see here

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I hardly know where to begin to describe the impact of The Silent Birthkeeper course…

and the deeply safe and nourishing community that comes with it – has had on my life. 

I just gave birth to my firstborn. Having had the immense blessing of having my pregnancy unfold in tandem with this course. Currently he is nuzzled up against my chest in our dimly lit birthing cave. He’s 5 days old. 

I’ve felt the calling towards becoming a traditional birthkeeper ever since I was a little girl, listening to the tales of my grandmother. Of how the women of the frozen tundra gave birth, close to the fire, safely nestled inside their tents, with their sisters and grandmothers humming outside. The men out hunting, seeking an offering for a safe passage of the new soul. 

Never until now though, have I actually been present in a birthing space. The arrival of my baby boy was my initiation. Both to motherhood, and to the deep deep certainty that supporting women to feel empowered, loved and safe during conception, childbearing, childbirth and beyond – is a prayer I’ll devote my life towards. 

I’ve experienced first hand the impact that the teachings, love, support and wisdom offered through this course and its wonderful teachers – can have on a woman journeying towards motherhood. As well as on a birthkeeper at the very beginning of her path. 

It has taught me why birthkeeping matters. The importance of self care as we aim to care for others. I has  made me realise how common it is for women to birth without having the basic needs of a woman in labour met. 

It has made me ask around among my own friends, sisters, mothers – and learn of their birth stories. Listening to them has made me realise even more the extent of the unspoken trauma that so many women experience during birth. Their feeling of loneliness. Of isolation. 

I am so deeply grateful to Ruth, Lana, Samara and all the wonderful guest teachers coming to us from all over the world. Showing up in this deeply held container to share their stories, their work and their experience with us. 

Truly it is such a gift. 

The teachings I’ve received and the friends that I’ve made here,I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

– Noo, Artist, Mother and Silent Birthkeeper 2023-2024

Welcome little one! Your magnificent Mama!

For more information or to book your place on the upcoming Silent Birthkeeper one-year immersion please see here

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Want to know more about the Silent Birthkeeper course?

Are you interested in learning more about the Silent Birthkeeper one-year online immersion with Ruth Ehrhardt?

The one-year online course is limited to a small group of people, as it is a personal journey we take together. It is an opportunity for you to spend time with yourself, delving into your relationship with birth, what it means to be a guardian of birth and what it means for you to attend births. The course is held within a tightly held container, and we do our best to honour the unique journey that each person undertakes.

One of the beauties of the Silent Birthkeeper space is the diversity of the participants, not only from a cultural perspective, but we have people joining us from all corners of the world and so we get to gather in a monthly virtual circle from different seasons, time zones and hemispheres. 

The course begins on the 14th of November 2024.

Early bird pricing closes on 30 September 2024.

Bookings close on 4 November 2024.

For more information see here

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True Midwifery is a safe space for ALL birth attendants…

True Midwifery is the home of The Silent Birthkeeper One Year online Immersion and a variety of other courses and workshops are offered online and in person in countries around the world.

One of the visions of True Midwifery is to offer a safe space for birth attendants around the world. In a similar way that we want to offer safe spaces for mothers, and babies True Midwifery endeavours to be a safe space for those who guard and protect birth. 

Sadly there is a lot of fractioning, disparity and othering in the birthing world and the True Midwifery learning spaces endeavour to bridge that gap and to honour that no matter in what capacity we are attending births, we hold at the centre of our calling, the guarding and protecting of the mothers and babies. 

So we welcome anyone who is interested and feels a connection to birth. Part of what we celebrate in the True Midwifery space is the diversity of the community, not only cultural diversity but also the diversity of what the participants bring into the space.

To find out more about the Silent Birthkeeper course see here

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Establishing My Boundaries in Birth Work

How have I created boundaries for myself in my birth work? And why?

Getting burnt out. 3 times…burnout is no fun and no joke. Big lessons here.Very quickly learned to say no to doula jobs that did not align with being able to support birth physiology and where I felt complicit in obstetric violence and violationDoing good things for my body, stopping bad things for my bodyTaking my time in coming home after births – especially difficult births. I am blessed to live close to the ocean. Taking a moment to sit on the beach, put my feet in the water and listen to the roar of the ocean is cleansing for the soul before heading back home to family life.I need to feel safe when attending birthsSpending time in nature regularlyHaving a designated on-call phone Saying no to people who don’t feel rightHaving a good support networkPrioritising balance in my birth work life and my personal lifeSleepingOnly travelling within a certain radius for births

Whilst making this list, I realised how interwoven boundaries and self care are and how a boundary becomes a way to take care of myself, and how establishing a way to take care of myself, becomes a boundary….

As I walk this path, my boundaries have shifted over the years as I have grown and required different things in place. As a birth attendant, I step into intimate relationships with families, and as with any relationship, we need to assess and establish our boundaries within them. How do we best meet the basic needs of those we serve whilst taking care of ourselves?

How have you created boundaries for yourself in your birth work?

Compromise & flexibility in birth work is crucial given that we will encounter many diverse families wanting to make use of our services with expectations that may or may not be within our comfort zones or personal philosophies.

So how do we know what healthy boundaries are? How do we implement them?  What are the pros and cons of having and enforcing those boundaries? 

Join our upcoming study spiral as we dissect this topic together.

For more information and to book your place see true-midwifery1.teachable.com/p/true-midwifery-study-spirals

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I am Woman, Hear me Roar!

Thank you Mom for teaching me to Roar!

For knowing deep down in your bones

That inside you

Was embedded

A freedom

That needed to be let loose

And allowed to dance in the wind

Thank you Mom

For climbing the mountain

And standing at its peak

And roaring

Roaring

Roaring into the wind

Letting the wind hear your anguish and your sadness and your pain

Whilst we children giggled and tumbled and played in the bushes and amongst the rocks

And felt bashful about our weird mom roaring at the wind

Thank for you for teaching me to roar

It is embedded in my spirit

And I will never forget

The image of you, my mother, roaring into the wind

And seeing how the wind received you

And roared back

(written 09/08/2024 – Woman’s Day, South Africa)

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