Cee Tee Jackson's Blog, page 31

SHIZZLE INC.

Shizzle, Inc by Ana Spoke

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Not really a ‘bloke’s’ book, I’d say – but a good, fun romp of a chick-lit novel. Some very funny lines and images created. The plot is simple enough, but I did feel it really stretched the bounds of realism towards the end. It felt that Ana had an idea for the follow-up and was keen to get it started, and so rushed the assumptions and situations that led to the end.

This is one of those books that I read as if in ‘film’ mode. It would definitely come across well as a TV movie.

Yeah – a good, fun read. And yes, I’ve already downloaded that follow-up. And again, yes – I am looking forward to reading it.

COFFEE, COMMUTE & READ IN U.S.A.

DAMP DOGS & RABBIT WEE …… only 99 cents until 27th August!

That’s right – less than one buck!

According to an article on U.S. News last September, the average price paid for a cup of coffee (without milk) in USA is now $2.70. And that’s before the 19/20% tip you generous Americans leave, again as reported in the article.

Believe me, I’m a coffee nut myself, and $2.70 sounds like value for money to me. BUT – can a cup of coffee make you laugh? Can it make you cry? (Well, I suppose an overpriced Mocha or ultra bitter tasting Vietnamese robusta could induce the latte.)

‘DAMP DOGS & RABBIT WEE‘ is a series of short, true,, humorous and compassionate vignettes, written in a style that has been likened to that of James Herriot.

It’s perfect to pick up and read in bite-sized chunks. In fact, it’s the ideal accompaniment for your regular commute-coffee.

And, until 27th August, less than a third the price of your beverage.

99 cents! Go on – treat yourself. Or your pet-loving friends and family. 

(There’s no need to tip … though all Amazon reviews are appreciated.)

THE WORST MAN ON MARS.

COMING SOON!

(Not from me, I’m afraid, but from the excellently funny Corben Duke and Mark Roman.)

I read some of this a year or so back while it was still a work-in-progress – and it IS full of laughs!

‘The Last Man On Mars,’ is published by Grand Mal Press and will be available from 2nd September 2016.

Here’s the book blurb:

Hero. Legend. Role model. He is none of those.

Flint Dugdale, blunt Yorkshireman and reality TV show winner, seems an unlikely contender for First Man on Mars. The Right Stuff he is not.

But the tragic death of the mission’s brave commander has created a vacancy which Dugdale, with his large frame and ‘persuasive personality’, has been quick to fill. He has put himself in charge of Britain’s first group of colonists to the Red Planet. With a place in History assured, Dugdale plans to see out the rest of the mission drinking lager, eating pies and watching his favourite sports on wide-screen TV.

But all is not well on the Martian surface. For five years an advance party of robots with evolving AI personalities have been building Botany Base. They are a long way behind schedule and have made some crucial dimensioning errors.

So the base’s rooms are too small, the doors don’t fit, and the lift-shaft is too narrow for the space elevator that is to bring the humans down from their spaceship. Worse, the food supplies sent from Earth have mysteriously gone missing, the drinking-water is muddy, and the Polish builder bots have gone AWOL.

On the eve of the descent to the surface, Dugdale knows nothing of these problems. And he is also unaware that the ship’s scanners have detected living organisms two miles north of the base.

It seems there is Life down there. But will it be pleased to see him?

DESIST, ASSIST and PERSIST.

It’s now one year since I published my first book, ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee.’

Get me –  ‘first book.’ Now I’m talking in some kind of author-type language. Like I’ve got another book in me. Well …

I’ve learnt a lot these past twelve months: I cringe now when I think of the number of exclamation marks I used in my first drafts of ‘Damp Dogs;’ I now understand why many readers dislike the overuse of adverbs; head-hopping can become confusing and overuse of ellipsis (oops – see above) and quotation marks can becoming annoying.

I’ve also learnt to cultivate a thick skin – this being the result of submitting pieces of work to Critique Circle. Boy, can they be brutal? (See? – in the old days, I’d have had an exclamation mark just there. And there.)

But most of all, I’ve realised that to be a writer, successful or otherwise, you need to learn to desist, assist and most of all, persist.

Desist from talking-down your book. Understandably, you will be unsure as to how it will be received. Will it merit many / any ‘five star’ reviews? Will it attract any reviews at all? Authors writing in the same genre are far better and more experienced than me. Those thoughts, and others, can easily lead to the conclusion that the best way to prepare for disappointment is to get your strike in early. Lower the expectations of any potential readers and work from the ‘promise low, deliver high,’ perspective.

Logically, this may be a sound approach. Except that the number of potential readers may have been greatly reduced as a result of the author’s perceived negativity.

Don’t do it. Tell the world how great the book is. Show some belief.

Sheepish modesty may be cute, but it doesn’t sell books.

Assist other aspiring authors in reaching their goals. Whether this is through constructively critiquing their work via online writing groups, or re-tweeting details of their work / special offers, or sharing links to their sales pages on your social media / blogs, it doesn’t matter. Writing is fun, but it’s kinda lonely. Not in a sad way, but it’s good to talk as a wee bird once said.

Mutual back scratching is way better and more productive than mutual back slapping. Be honest with your comments to others, but be positive. And guaranteed, you’ll receive the same benefits in return. Authors are a breed apart, but form a tight-knit, worldwide association.

I know from experience, I’ve had invaluable help from The Inca Project; Scribophile members; the CLOG group on Goodreads; Clean Indie Reads and numerous individual writers.

Show support, and if at all possible, buy their books. Kindle editions normally cost only a couple of pounds. I’ve read more books this past twelve months than at any point in my life since leaving school. And all have been from indie authors, the majority of whom have not yet made it into the High Street stores.

There are some tremendous stories out there.

Persist with your belief. Writing a fabulous book is the easy bit. Telling the world it even exists, especially with no marketing budget at your disposal is another thing entirely. It’s a slog, I know, but a little bit of work, even just through social media can pay dividend.

This past week, I’ve run a low-key promotion in the UK – there will be a bigger effort made in the U.S. market after the Olympics. I spent a total of £10 and that was on a donation basis to a site that promoted ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee.’ The direct results of that promo were poor, but through my own efforts of persistence, I managed to sell another twenty-six books.

No – it’s not big-time. And no, I can’t yet give up work to become a full time author. But it’s all relative, isn’t it? The fact that the book rose from around 200k to circa 12k  in the Amazon Kindle rankings was good enough for me.

 

 

I’m not writing for money – just as well, eh?. I’m writing for experience. So that I may learn how to make more of a success of the comedy-fantasy, ‘Soul Survivor’ that I’m currently working on.

Success is all relative. I started out as the hopeful writer at the start of the ‘desist‘ paragraph above. I reckoned that if I sold about thirty books to family, friends and clients, then I’d be happy. So, having sold over two hundred and seventy (when the average for a debut effort from an indie author is, I believe, ninety) I’ve now embraced the mantra from the end of that section.

It’s not rocket science, and it’s all been said before. But after a year, the penny’s finally dropped. With all your invaluable assistance and support, even from just reading this blog, I know both ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee,’ and when ready, ‘Soul Survivor,’ are / will be successes. Even if just in my own head.

See you on the shelves of Waterstones and Barnes & Noble.

(Cee Tee)

BOOK HIPPO FEATURED AUTHOR.

ALMOST A GIVEAWAY!

Bramble.

Well ….. what do you expect? I’m Scottish. So sue me.

‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee,’ was published a year ago this week, and to celebrate, the Kindle price has been reduced to only 99 pence (in Amazon’s UK store) until 11pm on Friday 29th July.

I know – I’m all heart, me.

When I ran a Goodreads Giveaway some months ago, there were over 1,200 entrants hoping to land a free copy. If you were one of the 1,195+ disappointed folk that missed out, then maybe you’ll want to grab this amazing opportunity to read the amusing antics of Marley and the gang for such a keen price.

Maybe, on the other hand, you’ll think, “What a tightwad – why couldn’t it be a freebie?”

I’m really sorry. Honest. But much as I’d like to hand copies away for nowt, I do have to eat. And 99 pence would allow me to buy a bread roll, a slice of ‘plastic’ cheese and maybe leave just enough for a Bazooka Joe bubblegum. 

Anyway, please – it would be  great help if you could let all your dog / cat / pet loving pals know of this, ok, slightly less than startling offer, by any means of social media you have available.

Thanks so much.

I’m off now to have my evening bite of that roll and ‘plastic’ cheese slice.

RENEWED ENTHUSIASM!

Right!  Summer’s over (it was early this year in the West of Scotland, being on 15th July) and my proper work has reverted to more regular hours. I now have some time to crack on with ‘Soul Survivor,’ and hopefully expand this blog into more than just a conduit for sales of ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee,’ which was published just about a year ago.

You know – one of the side benefits of writing and publishing a book, is the introduction it offers to similarly minded aspiring, indie authors.

This past year, I’ve read more books in a twelve month period than ever before. Those books were written not by Terry Pratchett, Frank Dikotter, Neel Mukherjee, Jang Jin-Sung, or Douglas Adams, some of my favourite authors. No – they were written by the likes of Rob Gregson, Jessica Collette, Andy Paine, Sarah Potter, Sue Harris, Robert Wingfield, Lia London, Cynthia Port, Will Once, James Court and Ana Spoke– some of my new favourite authors! (Watch out also for a guy called Corben Duke. He’s just been signed up by a publisher for his comedic fantasy, ‘The Worst Man on Mars.’ Very funny!)

Hopefully, over the next few months I can convince some of these excellent and entertaining writers to spend a little time on this blog, giving a bit of background to their inspirations and aspirations.

Indie authors everywhere …. I’m coming at you with a metaphorical microphone!

But for now …. ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee’ – the final push.

 

ODE TO A SHOOGLY TOOTH.

ODE TO A SHOOGLY TOOTH.

We’ve been as one for fifty years,

Through joyous times and painful tears.

Crushing Hob Nobs, chewing cakes,

Your imminent demise is hard to take.

But I’ve not chewed to the right for a while

And you’ve given my mouth a crooked smile.

There’s no need you remain, now the pain’s abated,

Incapable of doing for what you’re created.

So, why bother clinging to a weakened gum?

Eating my muesli is no longer fun.

Shoogly for a month, it’s simply not funny,

Tooth Fairy, please – just bring me the money.

Psssst! (I’m still here …)

I know – it’s been very quiet on the blog front in recent weeks. All right, months then.

Life, it seems just continues to get in the way of my writing. Which, I suppose is infinitely better than Death interfering, but it’s still incredibly frustrating.

So – no more excuses. Time to prioritise and get the finger out. Here’s a wee update of where things are at:

SOUL SURVIVOR (working title.)

Writing a novel is far harder than banging out a memoir type thing. Especially if it’s meant to edge towards the humorous side. Some days, it flows and everything seems to fit. Until the following morning and I look at it again. Other days, it doesn’t even get that far.

The first few chapters have been rewritten completely, and I’ll shortly be posting them to a couple of writing sites for some honest feedback.

DAMP DOGS & RABBIT WEE.

I’ve not done any promotion at all in 2016, but sales keep dripping through. I’m still keen to get a foothold in the USA, and plan a couple of little initiatives shortly.

From what I’ve read, however, it seems that ‘Damp Dogs & Rabbit Wee’ has sold better than the average debut book by indie authors. So, a big “THANK YOU” to everyone for their support so far.

 

 

COMING SOON.

There are SO many excellent writers out there whose books are not (at least, not yet) available in your local bookstore. In the coming weeks, I hope to introduce a few to readers of this blog. You will not be disappointed, I guarantee.

 

 

That’s it – I’m off now to be distracted by some other random nonsense.

Sarah Potter Writes.

Sarah Potter, author of the wonderfully weird and quirky ‘Desiccation,’ a science fiction novel billed as a ‘young adult crossover fantasy,’ has kindly afforded me a guest storyteller spot on her blog this month.

Hopefully, in the coming weeks, I can reciprocate, for if her book is anything to go by, a chat with Sarah is likely to be very entertaining indeed.