Carolyn Astfalk's Blog, page 37
April 26, 2017
Blogging from A to Z Challenge: V is for Virtue
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
[image error]V is for Virtue
Simply put, a virtue is a good habit. Sporadic good deeds don’t cut it. The Catechism of the Catholic Church says, “A virtue is an habitual and firm disposition to do the good.” (1803) (Can I just say how much the use of the article “an” with a pronounced H sound annoys me? Okay, I’ve said it. Moving on . . .)
In Rightfully Ours, the chief virtue explored is chastity (see C is for Chastity). Chastity is one of the capital virtues, which correlate to the seven deadly sins. I love the simplicity of the virtues and matched vices. Simply name your poison and discover the antidote. Problem with envy? Try kindness. Gluttonous? You need temperance. Got a problem with pride? Seek humility.
We all know how painfully difficult it can be to break a bad habit and cultivate a good one. And why is it the opposite seems effortless?
How have you broken a bad habit and replaced it with something good?
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April 25, 2017
Blogging from A to Z Challenge: U is for Underground
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
[image error]U is for Underground
When I began writing Rightfully Ours during NaNoWriMo 2010, without a clue as to what I was doing, I knew I was creating a story about, in part, buried treasure. Buried implies underground. I set the story near a natural gas well in an area with prevalent fracking. Fracking implies underground. Add the danger of a sinkhole – underground, naturally.
The connection seems quite obvious, but I didn’t put it together as I was writing. It wasn’t until many subsequent drafts later that my underground theme came to the surface. (Sorry. Couldn’t resist.)
With each of my novels, what I call this “writing magic” has happened. Themes materialize and connections are made, either by accident or the work of my subconscious – the underground of my waking, active thoughts.
Have you ever been surprised by connections brewing in your subconscious, whether in writing or in life?
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April 24, 2017
Blogging from A to Z Challenge: T is for Treasure
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
[image error]T is for Treasure
Discovering treasure is the theme of Rightfully Ours. There are several ways in which the theme resonates throughout the story, including the discovery of actual lost treasure and the figurative recognition of that which is valuable. In this case, it is authentic love. Treasure brings to mind buried treasure and pirates, and you’ll find that in the book as well.
In looking up “treasure” before I began this post, I was surprised to learn that the word comes from the Greek and Latin “thesauros/thesaurus,” then through Old French (tresor) to English. I’m sure all writers would agree that the thesaurus (a repository or collection) is a treasure!
For fun, I looked up “thesaurus” at thesaurus.com. Ten synonyms are listed, including, you my have guessed it – “treasury of words.” So, there you have it. We may not all be so lucky as to discover gold doubloons beneath a big, fat, X in the back yard, but most of us have access to a big book of synonyms!
What reference work do you treasure most?
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April 22, 2017
Blogging from A to Z Challenge: S is for Siblings in Stories
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
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S is for Siblings in Stories
I have a thing about writing siblings in stories. I love it.
While I’m not particularly close to my brothers due to the large gap in our ages, we share a history. When you grow up in the same household, where you make shared memories, you share a bond.
I think what I love about writing about siblings is that they have a shorthand relationship. What I mean by that is that their relationships are built on so many shared experiences, so much familiarity, and a lack of pretense, that their characters can be free with one another. It doesn’t mean they get along perfectly. In fact, because they know exactly what pushes the other’s buttons, they can be prickly, cruel, or pesky.
But at the bottom of all that is usually (at least in my characters), a steadfast love and affection, despite their differences. And that, for me, is fun to write.
In Rightfully Ours, there are two sets of siblings: Paul and Sean Porter and Rachel and James Mueller. James is rather young, so his relationship with Rachel is reduced to pestering her with his pirate play, interfering with her relationship with Paul, and battling them with light sabers or water guns.
In the case of Paul and Sean, they’ve been reliant on one another in their parents’ absence. Sean has had to act as both brother and father in some cases, and despite his discomfort with that role, he does his best, straddling the line between cool older brother and paternal guide – neither of which keep him from giving his younger brother a hard time about everything from girls to his gullibility.
For writers, do you have a particular relationship that is your favorite to write?
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April 21, 2017
Blogging from A to Z Challenge: R is for Resurrection Choir
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
[image error]R is for Resurrection Choir
Have you ever heard of a Resurrection Choir? I’ve heard mention of it here and there over the past decade. It’s simply a volunteer choir whose members sing at church funerals. Sometimes, it’s at the request of the family of the deceased. In other cases, I think it is customary for every parish funeral Mass. (I say Mass because my experience is with Catholic churches, but it may be a ministry of other Christian churches as well.)
I pick up my two youngest children from preschool at about the same time funerals are scheduled in our parish. For some funerals, the parking lot is overflowing, with cars lined up and down the block for the procession to the cemetery. Other times, there are a few scattered cars in the lot and only a couple are sporting the funeral home flag designating their spot in the procession.
My oldest son is an altar server, and often is excused from classes to serve at Masses of Christian Burial. He’s served funerals for young people, old people, and those in between. Some deaths are sudden and tragic, others are peaceful and long-expected, but the one that he mentioned as being so sad stands out in my mind. It was one in which the man had outlived nearly all family and friends and only a few people were present.
I think that is when the Resurrection Choir is most meaningful. I mention it in the funeral that takes place in Rightfully Ours, specifically the poignant voices of the elderly choir members who sound as if they’re not too far from joining the deceased themselves! (After all, what group of people are most able to come out in the middle of the day on short notice? Retirees.)
How generous a service it is to assist at giving each person a proper send-off, so to speak. To be there when others cannot. To know that no person’s life passes from this world unnoticed or unacknowledged.
Have you heard of a Resurrection Choir?
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April 20, 2017
Blogging from A to Z Challenge: Q is for Quarrel
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
[image error]Q is for Quarrel
I love the nuances of language. We writers are always searching for the word that best matches our meaning. What sets “quarrel” apart from synonyms such as “bickering,” “dispute,” “fight,” or “fray?”
One of Merriam-Webster’s definitions is “a usually verbal conflict between antagonists.”
A good quarrel among protagonists can be a good thing too – at least in fiction. In Rightfully Ours, Paul and Rachel quarrel not long after Paul’s father has died. Paul’s been ignoring his friend Rachel, choosing to listen to his dad’s music rather than engage in conversation.
She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes glistened. “You act like I suggested we dance on your parents’ graves. Is sparing me a few words too much to ask?” Her voice grew louder and more shrill with every word. “I’m sorry if I’m no good at this. I was trying. I thought maybe you’d like to talk about it. About him. That I could listen.” A lone tear escaped her left eye. “Screw you,” she hissed, and turned on her heel back toward the house.
He lunged forward and grabbed her wrist, turning her back towards him, but couldn’t think of a thing to say to stop her.
I think “quarrel” fits the scene from which this snippet is taken very well. “Bickering” would imply more verbal sparring, “dispute,” a particular point of disagreement, “fight,” a more physical disagreement, and “fray,” a chaotic fight amongst a group of people.
How important is the right word? Which word would you use to characterize your last disagreement with someone?
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April 19, 2017
From A to Z Blogging Challenge: P is for Pirates
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
[image error]P is for Pirates
What is our fascination with pirates? Kids love pirates, for sure. Pirate play sets, books, and costumes never go out of style. For my oldest son’s fourth birthday a decade ago, I hosted a pirate party in our back yard in which the kids dug for buried treasure, crafted parrots to perch on their shoulders, played Pin the X on the Treasure Map, and pummeled a papier-mâché pirate piñata. (Ask me if I had the will to host anything so elaborate for any of the children that followed. The answer is no.)
Pirates turn up at the door every Halloween, children and adults. Then there is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19). Not to mention, my favorite baseball team, the Pittsburgh Pirates.
In Rightfully Ours, Rachel’s younger brother, James, loves to play pirates. He’s found placing X’s in undesirable places, walking makeshift planks, and brandishing a play sword. Of course, a real pirate, more or less, turns up later in the story, intent on thievery.
What do you think is the romanticized historical pirates’ appeal, despite their criminal history?
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April 18, 2017
From A to Z Blogging Challenge: O is for Orchard
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
[image error]O is for Orchard
A couple of summers ago, I took my three youngest children, then 7, 3, and 2, to a local orchard to pick peaches. It was hot. My 2-year-old kept disappearing down rows of fruit-heavy trees. There were bugs. But it was still fun.
I like orchards enough that I gave one of the main characters in Rightfully Ours a summer job at an orchard. Paul spends late spring, summer, and fall at the orchard, working alongside a mixture of teens and migrant workers harvesting peaches and apples.
The alley that runs behind our property is called Pear Alley, and we learned that the old Bartlett Pear tree that sits at the end of the property is the last of what was once a pear orchard. Apparently, our tree is the only one to survive the addition of hundreds of homes in two developments built behind our property in the 1990s.
I’ve not spent more than a couple of hours walking an orchard with my kids, but that one pear tree has taught me they are a lot of work. Last year, the harvest was thin, but if the number of brilliant, beautiful blossoms currently blooming on our tree is any indication, we’re going to have a bumper crop this year!
Have you ever picked your own fruit at an orchard?
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Top 10 Tuesday: Things I’m Still Learning After 20 Years of Marriage
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My husband and I will be married twenty years this week. Twenty years. Not sure how it’s even possible that so many sunsets have slipped by me.
As a twenty-five-year-old bride, I thought I came into marriage well-prepared. Relatively speaking, I did. My parents provided a good example of a long and faithful marriage. (Remote preparation.) I understood, more or less, what marriage entailed, at least as well as any never-been-married person can. We attended the Church-required marriage preparation and consulted with a priest. (Proximate preparation.) We discussed the important stuff: faith, babies, finances, and lifestyle.
And yet, surprise of surprises, the rose tint faded from our glasses somewhere along the way. Despite good health, steady employment, the blessings of children, and constant faith, married life has not been all sunshine and roses. Sometimes it’s been dreary and rife with noxious weeds.
I haven’t kept a meticulous accounting of our life together, but I think the good years have exceeded the bad ones. We’ve continued to love, even when it hasn’t been easy. Even when we didn’t feel like it. Even when love wasn’t deserved. Because that’s what we vowed to do.
Fail to accept the imperfect results of others & you’ll have to do everything yourself. #marriagetip
Tweet ThisAs we enter the third decade of matrimony, here are ten of the many things we’ve learned – the hard way.
Take risks. Not wild, devil-may-care risks. Calculated risks in the direction God is leading you. Trust Him more. Sometimes you have to step out in faith.
Don’t wait. Things don’t have to be perfect to be improved upon. Things don’t have to be perfect, period. There is no time like the present.
Make friends. Family friends. Couple friends. Same-gender friends. You’ll need them.
Your home matters. Size does matter, but not as much as comfort. This is where you will spend the great majority of your time. At the least, you should make it into something you don’t hate. It’s also where you can foster friendships, yours and your children’s. Home should be a refuge, not a fortress.
Don’t waste your time comparing – houses, jobs, income, vacations, clothes, physical beauty, relationships, family support – none of it. You’ll always come up short. Always. Even if that’s not objectively accurate.
Don’t let anything steal your joy. A good cry notwithstanding, cultivate an interior life that allows you to weather the bad times and savor the good times.
Just do it. Instead of thinking of all the reasons you can’t, figure out ways you can, even if the circumstances are not ideal. Not all dreams have to die at the hand of responsibility.
Laugh more, even if no one else is laughing with you. Someone has to have a sense of humor. Don’t take yourself or life’s little disappointments and accidents so seriously. It’ll make the whole world a brighter, happier place.
Be prudent with your money, especially if it’s tight. Save and spend on things that have long-term value: furniture, home improvements, education, a memorable vacation. Accumulate less “stuff,” most of which you’ll never miss.
Your way isn’t the only way. Fail to accept the imperfect results of others and you’ll eventually end up having to do everything yourself. People can only take so much dismissal and correction before they just stop doing.
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April 17, 2017
Blogging from A to Z Challenge: N is for NaNoWriMo
For the first time, I’m participating in the Blogging from A to Z April Challenge! The concept is simple: Each day in April I’ll be blogging on a topic starting with the letter of the day, beginning with A and progressing to Z by the end of the month. Posts will be short and will relate to my chosen theme: my new coming of age story, Rightfully Ours, released April 1.
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N is for NaNoWriMo
For those who do no know, NaNoWriMo is National Novel Writing Month, which takes place annually in November. It was during NaNoWriMo 2010 that I wrote the first draft of Rightfully Ours, then tentatively titled All That Glitters. I hadn’t ever attempted writing fiction longer than a short story, and even that had been a decade earlier. Suffice to say, I didn’t really know what I was doing, only that I wanted to get 50,000 semi-coherent words written during that November.
I succeeded in doing that, making things up as I went along (writing by the seat of my pants, as they say) with only a small, old newspaper clipping to spur my imagination. That incomplete manuscript had to be finished and then revised so many times over then next five to six years that I lost count.
I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo twice since then, “winning” once more. The more experience I have at writing and the busier I’ve become with marketing books, the less valuable it’s become. Even so, had I not decided to give NaNoWriMo a shot, I may have never attempted writing a novel at all.
Have you given NaNoWriMo a try? If so, did you find it helpful and productive?
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