Carolyn Astfalk's Blog, page 18

What if Your Broken Heart Helped Save a Soul?

There’s nothing quite like unrequited love. It’s a different kind of heartbreak than that from a breakup, I think. I know of what I speak, starting with my one-sided affair with Speed Racer.

One of my one-sided loves had a strength and staying power I’d not anticipated.

In a move totally out of character, fueled by I don’t know what–desperation?– I confessed my feelings. In writing, of course, not in person. I said “out of character,” not momentary insanity.

Of course, the verbal insanity confession would have at least produced instant results. In the days when remote communication happened via either written word or the family landline telephone, response time lagged.

For days upon days, I tensed at every ring of the phone and raced to the mailbox. Eventually, I received a letter relegating me to the friend zone long before that term had been coined.

Over (much) time and in the wake of my one requited love, feelings faded. My days and my heart filled with a new love, new life, new home, and then babies with only a rare, fleeting thought given to that heartbreak.

Of course, questions occasionally niggled. Was he happy? Did he have a family of his own? What did he do for a living?

Google was little help beyond its slew of ads for people-finding services, and I was not a lovesick stalker. Some people simply choose to live a life entirely outside of social media and the Internet. (God bless them. There are many a day I wish I were one of them!) If neither Google nor God would satisfy my idle curiosity, then there was nothing I needed to know.

And yet the curiosity persisted, both by the occasional stray thought by day and the random dream at night. (Lest you think these thoughts or dreams something unseemly, they were innocent, I promise.)

These persisted over the course of years, and finally, in the past year or so, I decided these conscious and subconscious recollections of my friend were a nudge to pray for him.

Just to be sure my prayers for him weren’t outpacing prayers for my husband, I upped my game there too.

And if I was wrong–if these thoughts and dreams were meaningless beyond my own nostalgic musing or curiosity, then so what? No harm done. Extra prayers all around.

Image by Luci Goodman from Pixabay

Last fall, after yet another uninvited guest appearance in my dreams, I dragged a chair across the hardwood floor of our bedroom, positioning it in front of the sagging closet shelf where I unearthed a floral tin so full of letters its lid won’t close.

Inside lay letters from a variety of high school friends as they made their way through colleges, universities, and a student exchange program. And letters and cards from him.

In the attic, I sorted through several brown bags of daily journals recording the tedium of decades of ordinary days sprinkled with love, loneliness, frustration, anticipation, and a slew of other unnamed emotions.

Had I inflated our relationship over the years? Specific memories had long since faded, and I’d more recently acquired a novelist’s imagination. Were my memories wistful fabrications meant to distract me from existing relationships that required a level of selflessness and sacrifice I was reluctant to live?

These pages held the truth, faithfully recorded on ripped spiral-bound pages, Shoe Box greeting cards, and cloth-bound diaries.

I pored over letters, mostly about nothing, but filled with humor and encouragement. With genuine friendship.

I skimmed the journal entries, reliving the hours passed between classes in the university library or walking across campus. Real conversations happened about classroom lectures, shared interests, hobbies, and dreams.

I tucked the letters back into their tin and replaced it on the closet shelf. The journals were returned to their brown bags in the attic.

Our friendship had been real, as had my feelings. A living, breathing human being lay on the other end of those thoughts, out of reach, but real just the same. I would continue to pray for him when he came to mind.

Then last month, in a micro-moment of boredom, while pondering what task to tackle next or waiting for a slow site to load, I said a prayer and opened a new browser tab. What did Google have for me today?

Maybe it would offer me an inkling of what had become of my friend. A LinkedIn profile, a Twitter account, a letter to the editor, a family photo.

Unlike prior searches, my results didn’t turn up a list of sites with sketchy address information and the tantalizing prospect of discovering a criminal record or divorce decree.

My face slackened, and I pushed away from my laptop, shaking my head.

A death notice.

One from around that time in the fall that I’d been rummaging through those old letters and journals.

Death shouldn’t have been a possibility. Not for a man so young. Not for a guy who hadn’t aged beyond twenty-two in my memory.

My heart sinking faster and hurting deeper than it had when I’d read that kindly worded friend-zone letter, I clicked. Surely his name had merely been attached to an obituary page. Perhaps an elderly family member had died. That was it, right?

Wrong.

I say with confidence my friend’s death was not a “good” death. You’ve seen these notices. The kind without a photo of the deceased and only the barest of information. No “after a long illness” or “with his loved ones at his side.” No cause of death. No public burial.

And most heartbreaking to me, no Mass of Christian Burial.

Shell-shocked and not trusting my own instincts, I sent it to my husband to read. He got the same vibe: not good.

Hours later, I opened my copy of Day by Day with Saint Faustina and read the daily reflection. The quoted passage from the saint’s diary regarded a “soul in agony, who was dying without the Holy Sacraments.” The reflection and prayer urged me to prayer for the dying, especially those meeting God without benefit of the sacraments.

That was my charge then, to pray for him. Pray hard for him.

Photo by Mike Labrum on Unsplash

In the past weeks, I have done that. Was this why I’d been hounded by his memory for so long, well beyond reason? To pray for him?

I’d often wondered why our paths had crossed at all. What purpose had our friendship served beyond providing some companionship during lulls in our schedules?

Why had I endured yet again the aching loss of a love that would never be? Because that was recorded on those journal pages too. Loneliness and a longing for romantic love. To be special to the person I found most special. Was that sadness, rejection, and self-pitying heartbreak all for naught?

What if it were something more? What if a glimmer of my attraction to him, that persistent and unrequited love, was meant to sustain DECADES so that now I could pray for him?

What if the reason our paths had crossed was so that I would pray for the repose of his soul?

What if now, so many seasons later, I could take all of the long-spent tears, the aching heart, and suffocating dejection I felt in my early 20s and unite it with Christ’s suffering for the sake of a man I no longer knew but once did?

What if my husband, the man who did requite my love, had a faith solid enough and a heart generous enough to tell me, “You need to have Masses said for your friend. Lots of them.”

“We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.”

Romans 8:28

My prayers and sacrifices are small, and I may have completely misinterpreted my relationship with my friend, the recurrent thoughts of him, and the scarce information divulged in his death notice (though my gut says I haven’t).

If so, I have confidence that not a prayer or sacrifice will be wasted. God and His Blessed Mother can make use of those merits as they see fit. Worst case, I look foolish. It’s happened before (see above: letter confessing my feelings); it’ll happen again.

I share this because for me it’s a rare glimpse at God’s magnificent plan. It offers me hope in trusting Him through heartache and suffering, however and whenever it may come, knowing that His plan is bigger and better than mine. Bigger than a single life or a lifetime, even.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

Isaiah 55:9

Even if I’m too blinded by self-pitying tears, immaturity, or self-centeredness, His words echo: “I AM WHO I AM.” (Exodus 3:14)

“But, as it is written. ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard , nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him,’ God has revealed to us through the Spirit.”

1Corinthians 2:9-10

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An Open Book

Welcome to the February 2020 edition of An Open Book, hosted both at My Scribbler’s Heart AND CatholicMom.com!

Once Christmas Day passed, I had an opportunity to do a bit more reading, including reading Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol for the first time. From there I dove into a variety of books, including an advance copy of Danielle Bean’s Giving Thanks and Letting Go: Reflections on the Gift of Motherhood, which releases this week. In her usual personal style, the author provides encouragement to mothers embarking on a different but equally-challenging stage of life in their vocations as mother and wife. A quick read filled with hope.

The Bright Unknown by Elizabeth Byler Younts is a beautifully written, thought-provoking novel set in an early 20th century mental institution (though Brighton, the protagonist, is not mentally ill and neither are some others forcibly committed to the institution where she resides.) Stellar fiction that is imaginative, multi-layered, and marked by persistent hope amid suffering.

The Last Shot by Amy Matayo is the third book in her Love in Chaos series, each book being set amid a calamity: lost at sea, a tornado, and now an active shooter during a country musician’s concert. I’ve enjoyed each book so far, and this one didn’t disappoint. I love how deeply the author gets into each character’s head. Lots of chemistry in this one and some heated kisses.

Jeff Goins’ The Art of Work: A Proven Path to
Discovering What You Were Meant to Do was a short listen
in the car. His advice for discovering what you’re called to do rang true with
my own experience in discovering what to pursue in college and in life. I like
that the stories shared incorporate faith and that his approach includes a
well-balanced life that is about much more than work but faith, family, and
service as well.

Denise Hunter’s contemporary Christian romances are
consistently well-done, and Lake Season is
no exception. This story’s hero, Adam, stands out as the nerdy love interest –
something we see little of in romance. I say, give us more real men that have a
variety of interests, aren’t perfect-looking, and don’t play sports or have
six-pack abs.

I completed the final read-through of my own novel coming out next week: Come Back to Me. It’s a sequel of sorts to Stay With Me, but can stand alone. This one is a little different for me. It’s shorter than any novel I’ve written (less than half the size of all but Rightfully Ours), and not a conventional romance. This one falls more readily into the general Christian fiction category, though a marriage is at the center of the story. Come Back to Me shares the point of Chris’s older brother Alan, who is separated from his wife, and Megan, another minor character from Stay With Me who, like Alan, is forced to re-think her approach to life.

My oldest son found Seneca’s Letters from a Stoic boxed with my old college
books and has been reading a letter here and there. Seneca was one of my
favorite Roman writers (along with Cicero), and I’m so glad that I hung onto
this book (in English, not Latin), and it’s getting some use!

With Christmas cash, he also picked up the Star Wars The Rise of Skywalker: The Visual
Dictionary by
Pablo Hidalgo, which is fun for the whole family to flip through, looking up
races or characters here and there, especially as some have resurfaced in
Disney’s The Mandalorian.

My tween went on a reading binge starting with Cynthia
Toney’s 8 Notes to a Nobody, a
story well-suited to her age. Wendy, on the verge of starting high school,
deals with changing friendships and interests, a blended family, and some
not-so-nice classmates. Oh, and she loves puppies! Great start to the Birdface
series.

From there my daughter launched into Raymond Arroyo’s Will
Wilder series starting with The Relic of Perilous Falls,
and read the three books in the series very quickly! It sounds as if it’s set
up for four additional books, but I couldn’t find any indication that more are
in production. She’s encouraged me to read these stories of a boy battling
demons in his town.

I had to keeping digging new books out for this child and
finally handed her Leslea Wahl’s debut novel, The Perfect Blindside.
She really loved this story of a cocky snowboarder and a high school
photographer who team up to solve a mystery in their Colorado town. Mystery,
adventure, faith, and a little romance – a perfect combination for my young
lady!

Somewhere in there, she also read It Happened in the White House: Extraordinary Tales from America’s Most Famous Home by Kathleen Karr. As you might expect, it includes ghost sightings and a variety of interesting tales gathered over the centuries. Her favorite story was of newly inaugurated Ronald Reagan wanting to ride his horse back to the White House. For protection, a steel-lined hat and bullet proof long johns were provided to him only for him to change his mind about the horseback ride.

My second grader hops from book to book and back again,
and Sisters of the Last Straw’s The Case of the Christmas Tree Capers by
Karen Kelly Boyce has been carted around the house with her. These are cute
chapter books with an endearing cast of imperfect religious sisters who solve a
little mystery. I see there is an Easter-themed book on the way too!

True to her puppy-loving self, she also has been reading The
Adventures of Wishbone book The Mutt in the Iron Muzzle by Michael Jan Friedman. (It’s
a retelling of The Man in the Iron Mask
by Alexandre Dumas, in case you didn’t guess.) This takes me back decades to my
nephew, who loved watching Wishbone after school. A cute series whether in
books or on TV.

My little boy read Tornado by Betsy Byars at home and with his class. This simple chapter book is a story within a story as the tale of discovering a lost dog during a tornado is retold from inside a storm shelter.

What are you reading? Share it at An Open Book and find new book recommendations too! #openbook
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An Interview with A Single Bead Author Stephanie Engelman

A Single Bead really drives home the power of prayer in such a compelling way, one that is entertaining and organic to the story and gives us that big-picture glimpse of what many of us know intellectually about the efficacy of prayer but rarely recognize in daily life. Did you know from the start how that theme would permeate the book or did it develop as you wrote?

To really answer that question, I have to share the story of how I came to write A Single Bead in the first place. Having consecrated myself to Jesus through Mary in early October of 2013, I found myself feeling renewed conviction to write a Bible study on the Rosary. By mid-October, I was researching publishers and came across Pauline Books & Media, who said they were specifically seeking Catholic young adult fiction. That single sentence set bells ringing in my head, as if the Holy Spirit were saying, Stephanie, pay attention to this! I had never even considered writing fiction, though, so I said out loud, “God, if you want me to write Catholic young adult fiction, you’re going to have to
give me the idea. Because I’ve got nothing!”

A few days later, someone sent a tweet to me, commenting on my old Twitter handle and blog name – A Few Beads Short, (I’m “a few bead short of a full Rosary,” like some people are “a few fries short of a Happy Meal.”) This person said, “@aFewBeadsShort, have you ever thought of the power of a single bead?” I responded with, “Great point! I’ll have to write a blog post on that!” And mentally filed it away for future blog material.

A few hours later, when I was with my family in the car, I got what I would call a “download” of the first chapter of A Single Bead. I knew that there would be a girl whose grandmother had died in a plane crash. I knew she’d wander away from her family as they prayed the Rosary at the crash site. I knew that she would find a bead from her grandmother’s rosary – a bead bearing her own initials. I knew she would discover that others had found beads as well, and that they had miraculous/mystical events associated with them, and that she would begin to search for more beads. I didn’t know what the conflict would be, or who it would be with, but I knew that it was a book I was meant to write.

So, in answer to your question, yes. I did know that the central theme of the book would be the power of prayer, and of the Rosary, in particular. But no, I didn’t know how, per se it would permeate the book . . . only that it would.

How do you think the power of story can uniquely reach readers when the Rosary is commonly presented in nonfiction books and instructional pamphlets? 

When I started writing A Single Bead, my thought was, Really, God? I want to write a Bible study for you, and you’re having me write frivolous fiction? But, once I’d gotten a little deeper into the process, I realized that fiction speaks to us in ways that nonfiction typically doesn’t. We come to know, love, and sympathize with the characters. We want them to grow and learn, and we grow and learn with and through them. When we finish the book and return it to the shelf, those characters remain with us, like a friend we’ve lost touch with. We continue to think of them occasionally, wonder how they’re doing, and wish we could meet up for coffee.

In A Single Bead, the reader meets Katelyn as a girl who wants little to do with her Catholic faith. She knows there’s a God, but doesn’t really see how He could operate in her life. In her opinion, the Rosary is boring and holds no special power. Over the course of the book, she witnesses miracles that have occurred in the lives of others, and is forced to admit that there must be something supernatural behind them. Moreover, she experiences emotional and spiritual changes in herself wrought by the Rosary. The reader travels through that experience with her. If they’re already a
believer in the power of prayer, they’re rooting for her all the way through. If the reader is more like Katelyn, and doubts the power of prayer, they find themselves joining her in the journey to come to believe and rejoice.

This unique power of fiction has been expressed to me countless times when parents, or kids themselves, have reached out to tell me they’re now praying the Rosary, when they had never or rarely prayed it before. These were not people who would have picked up a nonfiction book on the Rosary, but they were lured in by the power of story to read and believe.

As a convert to the Catholic faith, is the Rosary something you took to easily or was it a challenge to accept, and how do you think that has helped or hindered your effort to spread this devotion?

I prayed the Rosary for the first time with my RCIA class, and I remember thinking that it seemed pretty boring and repetitive, and not something I really wanted to do on a regular basis. But, when I joined the Catholic Church, I felt convicted that I was called to live out her teachings and devotions as fully as I possibly could. So, whether or not I really wanted to, I picked up my rosary occasionally and prayed it – just because that was what “good Catholics” did, and I wanted to be a “good Catholic.”

My first experience with the power of the Rosary occurred when I had had an argument with a family member. I was angry, hurt, frustrated, and confused, and then I prayed the Rosary. About midway through I began to recognize a change in myself. My heart rate had decreased. My muscles were no longer tense. The adrenaline was no longer pumping through my veins. By the end, I was peaceful, resolute, and ready to make amends with the family member. After that experience, I was a believer in the Rosary’s power, and I’ve tried to pray it daily ever since. During the best periods of my life, I’ve even managed to pray fifteen decades each day.

I believe that which we have to struggle for becomes more precious and meaningful to us. I think I appreciate my Catholic faith more than many cradle Catholics because I had to study my way in, grapple with the Church’s teachings, and confront long-held misunderstandings. I had to turn my back on the “faith of my fathers” to gain the “Faith of my Fathers,” and that was no easy or lighthearted feat. In a similar way, I appreciate the Rosary that much more for having had to fight an internal fight against its foreignness, the unfounded whispers of idol-worship, and the baseless accusations of senseless babbling.

I fully understand what precious gifts our Catholic faith and Our Lady’s Rosary are, and am most content when I’m encouraging others to understand and love them as much as – or more than – I do!

Can you say a little bit about the power of the Rosary in your own life?

There’s no doubt but that the Lord works miracles in response to our prayer of the Rosary. But I think the most immediate, most accessible miracle of the Rosary is the power it has to change the way we look at our circumstances, thereby completely turning around our lives. When I entered the Catholic Church, I knew nothing of “dying to oneself,” “redemptive suffering,” or “joy amidst crosses.” Such things were complete anathema to my way of thinking! Yet, through regularly praying the Rosary and thereby meditating upon the life of Christ, my thinking slowly evolved. When trials and tribulations came, my knee-jerk reaction of seeking the least painful path or asking, “Why me, Lord?” changed to “Not my will, Lord, but Thine,” and “Be it done unto me according to thy Word.”

Thanks to this evolution, I met unexpected pregnancies with joy, financial troubles with peace, and even the near-death and subsequent brain injury of my husband with a firm trust that God would provide, God would be glorified.

He has! What greater gift could one ask?

Your book for children, Bead by Bead: The Sorrowful Mysteries of the Rosary, begs for sequels in the form of the other mysteries of the Rosary. Are those books forthcoming?

AGGGHH! Yes! Unfortunately, I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I learned some lessons in publishing The Sorrowful Mysteries – namely that I should have published it in paperback – which I want to correct before moving on to the next book. I’ve been so busy with other projects that I haven’t gotten around to doing so. Thanks for the gentle nudge – I’ll get to work on it soon, and hope to follow with the other mysteries of the Rosary shortly after that!

So far, your books have been inspired by the Rosary, which is perfectly on-brand with your tagline “a few beads short.” Do you envision writing on other themes?

Yes. In particular, I would love to explore fiction centered around the Eucharist. I’ve started a couple of different stories, but, when I didn’t feel that same inspiration I had for A Single Bead, I ended up setting them aside. At some point in the not-so-distant future, I hope to finish at least one of them. The world desperately needs an increased belief in the presence of Christ in the Eucharist!

You’ve also been helping others to tell their own stories. How do you do that?

My official “nine-to-five” is now as a personal historian. My clients hire me to write their stories, or – more typically – those of their parents or grandparents. I spend time interviewing the individual or couple, and then use the material from the interviews to craft an entertaining story of their lives. I then work with a book designer to add photographs and a lovely cover design, and we produce a hardcover book that the family can enjoy for generations.

It’s an incredibly fun and rewarding process, and I’ve learned from the stories of each person I’ve had the pleasure of writing about. I feel extremely blessed to get to earn a living doing the thing I enjoy the most!

What are you working on now?

I’m really excited about a novel I’ve been commissioned to write which is the fictionalized story of a young woman whose trust in God the Father strengthened her through terrible abuse and neglect. I’m currently doing some heavy editing and very pleased with what is emerging.

I also have a graphic novel in the works for the “reluctant reader” group – those pre-teen boys who don’t love to read. Based loosely off the characters in my own family, twelve-year-old Mac will get into all sorts of trouble as he tries to get back the video games that his mom has taken away for the summer. My kids and a few beta readers have read the first draft and assure me it will be well-loved!

"This unique power of fiction has been expressed to me countless times when parents, or kids themselves, have reached out to tell me they’re now praying the Rosary . . . " @SEngelmanauthor #authorinterview
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Stephanie Engelman is a wife and mother of five, and the author of A Single Bead – an award-winning young adult novel about the power of prayer. Stephanie is also a public speaker who loves to talk about the Rosary, trusting God, and her personal experiences of peace and joy amid crosses.  Stephanie and her family live in Indianapolis with their rambunctious mutt and rescued cat. In her free time, Stephanie loves to walk the dog, hike, mountain bike, and garden.

Links:

Website: www.StephanieEngelman.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/s.engelman.author/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/SEngelmanauthor

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephanie_engelman/

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY! STAY A WHILE AND LOOK AROUND. LEAVE A COMMENT. SHARE WITH A FRIEND. IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, PLEASE SIGN UP FOR MY AUTHOR NEWSLETTER TO KEEP UP-TO-DATE ON NEW RELEASES, EXTRAS, AND HOT DEALS!

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An Open Book

Welcome to the January 2020 edition of An Open Book, hosted both at My Scribbler’s Heart AND CatholicMom.com!

While he’s preparing for Marian consecration, my husband has been listening to/reading Jesus and the Jewish Roots of Mary: Unveiling the Mother of the Messiah by Brant Pitre. Part history, part Catholic apologetics, the Old Testament Marian typology presented in this book has been fascinating to him. I’ve seen some accolades for this book on social media too, and I’m looking forward to reading this one myself.

I’ve been reading Dracula by Bram Stoker for a long, long time. In fact, my daughter recently asked why I was reading a “Halloween book” at Christmas! I’ll finish it soon, I promise. In the meantime, I’ve been listening to several books as well. The Thorn Keeper by Pepper Basham, while being the second book in her Penned in Time series, is the first historical novel of hers that I’ve read. This World War I novel has the feel of a dramatic saga akin to a soap opera in parts. The characters are lively and engaging, and its redemptive message is a good reminder to try to see others as Christ sees them, as they are, not as they were. Change happens.

Maybe the final days of Christmas preparations made me a bit Grinchy, but I wasn’t feeling A Christmas by the Sea by Melody Carson. The contrived contemporary Christmas romance novella is akin to a Hallmark movie in print form, but the romance was so abrupt, it ruined the story for me. Being sensitive to authors’ feelings, I think this may be the first time in years of reviewing that I’ve used the work “schlock.”

Kill Shot by Anne Patrick is a Christian romantic suspense novel teaming a Maine sheriff with a combat veteran to discover who wants to see the former Army medic dead. I’m only a few chapters in, but I see some chemistry brewing between this pair, and the story is moving at a nice clip.

For Christmas, my sixteen-year-old received Drive! by Corinna Turner. This dystopian dinosaur adventure is sure to please Jurassic Park fans. I quite easily bought the dinosaur-inhabited world with secured city dwellers separated from hunters and farmers living beyond the safety fence. Somehow, the author nicely adds a bit of faith as well, even ascribing a patron saint to these rugged adventurers.

My sixth grader recently read a book her older brother and I both loved: Treachery and Truth by Katy Huth Jones. This is the fictionalized story of Good King Wenceslas of the famed carol told from the point of view of his servant Poidevin. This is a great one to re-read at Christmas time—or anytime.

In class, my daughter is also reading Number the Stars by Lois Lowry, a Holocaust book set in Denmark. I’d love to see how it compares to Bright Candles by Nathaniel Benchley, which is similarly set. (More about that book in Sabbath Rest Book Talk from July 2017.)

In her big ol’ heap of chapter books lying around here, the eight-year-old found The Ember Stone: A Branches Book by Katrina Charman, the first book in The Last Firehawk series. I asked for a summary and got a laundry list of animals on some kind of adventure that included a barn owl and a squirrel. And an egg that might have combusted. She seems to be enjoying it.

She’s also begun Lisa Hendey’s  Chime Travelers series. I thought being the Christmas  season, she’d like to read The Strangers at the Manger, but she wanted to start at the beginning, so she read The Secret of the Shamrock, a story involving Saint Patrick, first. Her sister also enjoyed these books that I’d describe as a Catholic Magic Treehouse series with a brother-sister pair traveling through time to experience the lives of the saints.

Being Christmas, one of our favorites resurfaced. My husband picked up Jolly Old Santa Claus by Mary Jane Tonn years ago because it reminded him of the Christmas Little Golden Books from our childhoods. This is a cute story about Santa Claus’s Christmas workshop preparations with the help, of course, of his elves (called brownies here). For extra fun, you can find Santa’s cat, Lady Whiskers, on most pages.

One Winter’s Day by M. Christina Butler came home from school with my youngest son, but I think we have our own copy on a shelf here somewhere. (Shows you how well organized our books are.) No matter which copy we read, it’s a cute tale of a hedgehog who generously gives away his warm scarf, mittens, etc. to friends in need.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY! STAY A WHILE AND LOOK AROUND. LEAVE A COMMENT. SHARE WITH A FRIEND. IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEE, PLEASE SIGN UP FOR MY AUTHOR NEWSLETTER TO KEEP UP-TO-DATE ON NEW RELEASES, EXTRAS, AND HOT DEALS!

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10 Reads to Help You Be Better in 2020

While fiction shines on this blog, front and center, nonfiction titles naturally dominate this list for self-improvement in 2020. No diet or exercise books here, just some books that are both easy to read and helpful in growing in one way or another without becoming another task to tick off of your list or adding a radical change to employ overnight.

If you’d like to read my full reviews, visit my Goodreads shelf.

LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES

Be Brave in the Scared: How I Learned to Trust God During the Most Difficult Days of My Life by Mary Lenaburg

GET ORGANIZED

Know Thyself: The Imperfectionist’s Guide to Sorting Your Stuff by Lisa Hess

GET IT DONE

Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff

FOCUS

Day by Day with Saint Faustina: 365 Reflections by Susan Tassone

GROW CLOSER

Side by Side: A Catholic Mother-Daughter Journal by Lori Ubowski

LEARN FROM LIFE

Don’t Forget to Say Thank You: And Other Parenting Lessons that Brought Me Closer to God by Lindsay Schlegel

SET A COURSE

Unrepeatable: Cultivating the Unique Calling of Every Person by Luke Burgis and Joshua Miller, PhD

MOVE FORWARD

Giving Thanks and Letting Go: Reflections on the Gift of Motherhood by Danielle Bean (Coming in February – pre-order now!)

BE INFORMED

The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy: What Ever America Needs to Know by Ed D. Hirsch, Jr., Joseph F. Kett, and James Trefil

BUILD EMPATHY

The Bright Unknown by Elizabeth Byler Younts

What book do you recommend for starting the new year off right?

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My Top 10 Reads of 2019

I’m ending the year by (barely) meeting my Goodreads goal of 110 books. That includes some children’s chapter books and pictures books, so don’t be too impressed. Still, I think that’s a substantial number of books.

Trying to whittle those to a Top 10 list was tough. First, I eliminated all but Young Adult and adult books. Then I whittled, going through my ratings and reviews, mentally ranking one over another. Toward the end, it became painful, literarily-speaking.

Here are my Top 10 books read in 2019, in no particular order. If you’d like to read my full reviews (snippets below), visit my Goodreads shelf.

Be Brave in the Scared by Mary Lenaburg – “Mary Lenaburg’s painful honesty, her authenticity, is what makes Be Brave in the Scared one of the best Catholic nonfiction books I’ve read. “



The Whiskey Rebels by David Liss – “Never have I laughed out loud so frequently while reading a book . . .”



The Captured Bride by Michelle Griep – “This book was such an adventure, start to finish.”



Sons of Blackbird Mountain by Joanne Bischof – “A beautifully written story that merits a re-read.”



Just One Kiss by Courtney Walsh – “Just One Kiss is a near-perfect contemporary romance – one of my new favorites!”



The Noble Guardian by Michelle Griep – “All together an enjoyable read with a satisfying ending! “



The Good Neighbor: The Life and Work of Fred Rogers by Maxwell King – “This biography did a good job of presenting Rogers as a remarkably kindhearted man, an innovator in his field of expertise, and a complex (but not flawless) human being.”



My Queen, My Mother: A Living Novena by Marge Steinhage Fenelon – “I thoroughly enjoyed My Queen, My Mother, a sort of travel guide, reflective journal, history book, and prayer companion rolled into one.”



Tortured Soul by Theresa Linden – “Not only will you be entertained – and maybe a little spooked! – but you’ll be mindful of praying for those who need it most. “



More than Words Can Say by Karen Witemeyer – “. . . refreshingly frank about marital love and the emotional intimacy that should co-exist with the physical intimacy. “



What’s the best book you read in 2019?

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Relevant Fiction Reviews: Saints

This month’s selections are the inspiring stories of saints! Saintly Rhymes for Modern Times is a rhyming book for children whose inclusion here as fiction is a stretch, but I love this book so much, I couldn’t resist! Susan Peek is over-represented below, and yet I’ve not even included all of her books. So, if you’re looking for more saint stories for children and teens, visit Susan’s website.

Relevant Fiction Reviews: Novelizations of the lives of saints for children, teens & adults. #RelevantFictionReviews
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Saintly Rhymes for Modern Times by Meghan Bausch


I’m a sucker for rhyming books for children, and this one drew me right in! These simple, easy-on-the-ears stanzas about modern saints are such fun to read. And yet they capture the essence of each’s saint’s life and charisms. The matching illustrations are beautifully done and convey as much as the written words, making this a true treasure that has a place in every Catholic child’s library!









Saint Clare and Her Cat by Dessi Jackson

Saint Clare and Her Cat is a great introduction to the Franciscan saint. Told as a story within a story, it’s appealing to children with friendly illustrations and a pretty kitty too. The book would make a great gift for a child any time of the year.









Saint José: Boy Cristero Martyr by Fr. Kevin McKenzie

Father McKenzie has created an exciting, engaging, and realistic portrait of the Mexican teen Jose Sanchez del Rio’s piety and courage. The story follows Jose and his family as he leaves home with his friend Trino to join the Cristeros and ultimately to give his life in defense of his faith.

Nothing about his martyrdom is whitewashed, yet the story is retold in a manner that is appropriate for young readers, its focus being on Saint Jose’s bravery rather than his captors’ brutality. An excellent introduction into Mexican history, Church history, and sainthood.









Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque and the Sacred Heart of Jesus by Emily Beata Marsh



Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque and the Sacred Heart of Jesus is a chapter book biography of the French nun to whom Jesus entrusted devotion to His sacred heart. The story is simply told for children with short chapters and several illustrations. It’s a good basic biography with a glossary and prayers as well. The in-text pronunciation guide to French names is helpful for children (and adults).

I only wished the story established the time period better from the beginning. I think page 64 was the first time the year was noted.









Treachery and Truth by Katy Huth Jones



I won a copy of Treachery and Truth through a Facebook party and immediately handed it to my 13-year-old son, who has long roamed the house singing the “Good King Wenceslas” carol, no matter the time of year. Once he finished the book, I got a hold of it.

While it is written for teens, I enjoyed it immensely! I knew next to nothing about King Wenceslas/Vaclav nor Bohemian history. As seen through the eyes of his servant Poidevin, the reader glimpses the bravery, fortitude, humility, and generosity of Vaclav as well as the history of his life, political alliances, marriage, and death. His story also delivers beautiful messages about the meaning of suffering, fidelity to Christ, and loving our enemies.

I’m happy to pass this well-written story along to my other children when they grow older.








The King’s Prey: Saint Dymphna of Ireland by Susan Peek



Martyrdom is brutal and doesn’t necessarily lends itself to a lighthearted treatment. Then again, this is the Church that made St. Lawrence, roasted to death over a slow fire, the patron saint of cooks.

Susan Peek, wisely I think, intertwines St. Dymphna’s difficult story with that of two Irish orphan brothers, Turlough and Brioc. Both will come to her defense, seeking to save her from her insane widowed father’s attempt to force her into marriage to him.

While Dymphna’s father, the king, is largely an unsympathetic character, for obvious reasons, Brioc’s character allows the reader to delve into the mind of someone struggling with mental illness – not a murderous, villainous person, but a good and kindhearted person who has suffered numerous losses and traumas.

Interspersed with mortal peril, swashbuckling, and glimpses of mental illness are lighter moments, many of which come via the overgrown wolfhound, Sam, loved by Brioc and, begrudgingly, Turlough. The novel also delves into the fractured relationship between Brioc and Turlough, the seemingly insurmountable distance between Brioc and his pregnant wife Lynnie, and several minor characters.

In the end, you’ll be left with a fuller sense of the horror of St. Dymphna’s struggle, the beauty of loving sacrifice, and the power of those sacrifices when offered to God for the sake of another. Ultimately, as with every Christian story, there is a message of hope.

As in all of Susan Peek’s books, the pace is quick, the stakes high, and action nearly nonstop, making it a smooth read.








A Soldier Surrenders: The Conversion of Saint Camillus de Lellis by Susan Peek



I love how Susan Peek brings obscure saints to life. Rather than relegated to dusty tomes, Saint Camillus springs from the page – masculine, lively, and deeply flawed – but never out of God’s reach.

Deeply affected by the bedside vigil at his father’s deathbed, even when he’s strayed from the practice of his faith or lapsed into habitual sins, Camillus is drawn to the sick and dying. Whatever his sins, he recognizes the dignity of the ill and injured and is rankled by the callous injustices they endure.

The story is well-written and fast-paced and appropriate for teens and older. The battle scenes include enough detail to intrigue without becoming gory. The relationships among the men depict authentic friendship and fraternal affection contrasted with selfish acquaintance. I think the story would be especially appealing to boys and young men.








Saint Magnus The Last Viking by Susan Peek



Say goodbye to dry and dusty lives-of-the-saints tomes better suited as flower presses or door stops. Saint Magnus, The Last Viking is lively, engaging, humorous, and as you might guess since Magnus was martyred, bloody.

Instead of boring the reader with an inhumanly pious saint story or bogging down the tale with details of centuries-old Norse life, Susan Peek has written an inspiring tale showcasing both the depth of human depravity and the glory of heroic love. All in a way that is appealing to the modern reader.

Throughout the novel, it’s clear that saints are mere human beings with weaknesses, flaws, desires, and ambitions. What sets them apart is their reliance upon God and the saints and their aim to become more Christ-like in spite of temptations.

Beautifully-written scenes of brotherly sacrificial love and a meditation on Christ’s suffering for our sins are worth reading and re-reading.

Saint Magnus, The Last Viking deftly portrays the power of forgiveness in the face of evil. Its powerful ending resonates in the heart long after the book has ended.

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Seven Quick Takes

Christmas Caroling Edition

I’m linking up with Seven Quick Takes at This Ain’t the Lyceum for some thoughts about Christmas caroling.

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The darkness descends early this time of year, and I confess to dreading leaving the house at any time after 5:00 p.m. But, caroling is traditionally a nighttime thing, so I braved the darkness twice in three days for two caroling events, one hosted by my daughters’ 4H Club and another by my son’s Cub Scout Pack. We visised an assisted living center and a nursing home.

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Music is a gift from God, plain and simple. I can’t imagine my life without it. From church hymns to ballet music to pieces I played on the piano and organ, live concerts, rock, country, and carols, music is not only a joy in the moment, but is a key to so many memories and associations. The elderly folks at the assisted living center and nursing home we visited sang along with the beloved carols and songs they’d likely learned in their youth. (Note to carolers: “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” lacks luster when you eliminate the figgy pudding, and next to no one knows the words or melody to “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.”)

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Caroling is not about skill or ability. It’s about heart. Assemble novice instrumentalists who have never played together before and males and females of all ages with varying degrees of vocal skill and reading ability, and you’ll get a joyful noise for the Lord! And that’s really all it takes. No ones cares if you muffed a cord or slurred a word.

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Your present is your presence. Cute and cliché, but true. It’s not about performing, it’s about your being there. Trust me, if you bring children into a facility caring for elderly people, they could warble their way through that hippo song in #2 above, and no one cares. It’s about taking time from your busy life to spend some time with those who may not receive many visitors or who are unable to get out much, if at all.

My youngest daughter helping a gentleman with his jigsaw puzzle.



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Soft, cuddly critters make great therapy. Some of the 4H kids bring their small animals for residents to hold – rabbits, guinea pigs, chickens. I will never forget watching an elderly lady take a rabbit and clutch it to her chest. (Don’t tell my kids, but I really want both a couple of guinea pigs and a dog.)

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You have to see with eyes of faith to see value in persons when they’ve completely relinquished what society values most: usefulness. Depending on the level of care needed at the facility or residence you visit, you and your kids may encounter some people who seem to be locked in their own worlds, asleep, oblivious, or uncomprehending. What value are they to their loved ones or to anyone? If you judge only by what they accomplish, not much. If you can look deeper at these souls beloved by Jesus – same as you and me – you’ll see their value is inestimable.

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Let me be honest. If these caroling trips were not arranged by the organizations my kids participate in, we would’t have gone. It’s good to be involved with people, groups, and causes that give us opportunities to serve.

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For more Quick Takes, visit This Ain’t the Lyceum.

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Virtual Christmas Cookie Swap 2019

I’ve reached the point in the run-up to Christmas (otherwise known as Advent) in which my mind turns to baking. Memories of baking with my mother while sharing a couple of glasses of wine. Lists of teacher, bus drivers, and friends to whom we’ll give cookies. Parties for which we’re expected to bring treats.

I’ve got a bazillion recipes and a handful of favorites, but I’m looking for a well-loved Christmas treat that will stand the test of time.

Share your Christmas desserts, cookies, breads, etc. with a photo or a link below. It can be a picture of your freshly-baked goodies, a link to to recipe site, or an Instagram picture. Whatever works for you.

Just for fun, I’ll select a random winner from all of the entrants to receive a paperback (US only) or audiobook (US or UK) copy of my Christmas romance, , which features a grandma who LOVES to bake . . . AND a paperback copy (US only) of Gifts: Visible & Invisible from Catholic Teen Books! Contest ends Friday, December 20, 8:00AM EST.

I’ll start us off with a family favorite, one that was featured in my first novel, Stay With Me: Fudge-Full Peanut Butter Bars.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

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Blog Tour – The Light: Who Do You Become When the World Falls Away

About the book:

A blinding flash … then darkness.
Bria Ford and her three closest friends are stranded on a country highway in the middle of a November night.
No phones. No cars. No lights.
Helpless and hundreds of miles from home, Bria and her friends put their lives in the hands of the handsome Jonah Page and his flinty sister, East, strangers who somehow know the secrets of Bria’s past. Secrets that not even she knows, but that offer them all the hope of survival.

The Light is Book One in this fast-paced, character-driven, Christian series that will leave you wondering who would I become if the world fell away?

The Light: Who Do You Become When the World Falls Away? by Jacqueline Brown #ChristianDystopian #YALit
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Book 1 in the series, The Light

Book 2 in the series, Through the Ashes

Book 3 in the series, From the Shadows

Book 4 in the series, Into the Embers

Book 5 in the series, Out of the Darkness

My review of Book 1, The Light:

The Light is a bit different from the previous Christian dystopian series that I’ve read in that the reader never learns what forces are behind the inciting moment – an EMP (electromagnetic pulse) that wipes out all the gizmos and gadgets, plunging life back into the early 19th century. Maybe that comes in later books in the series; this book is about the characters.

Bria, we learn, is a hurt and broken young woman, punishing herself by remaining in an abusive relationship. She and her three friends are stranded on the highway in North Carolina when the EMP hits. As luck (or God) would have it, they meet up with a brother and sister (Jonah and Eden) heading to their nearby home.

When they arrive at Jonah and Eden’s homestead, they are welcomed by a warm and loving family with some revelations that will rock Bria’s entire world well beyond the changes the EMP has wrought. As they learn to survive in a drastically different world, they remain ever-wary of their threatening neighbor, Mick.

Faith – or lack of it – plays an interesting role in the story as Bria is an atheist and her friends are nominal Christians, at best, while the family they’re adopted into is unabashedly Catholic. Jonah is a seminary student and his older brother is a priest.

Some incidents stretched my ability to suspend disbelief regarding both the family’s utter isolation, history, and entanglements, but, again, this story is definitely character over plot.

The Light ends with hearts broken open and a new way of life forged. I’m interested in seeing what the second book in the series brings.

About the author:

Jacqueline Brown is a clinical psychologist turned Christian fiction author. As a psychologist, Jacqueline worked with women and girls who experienced trauma and entanglement with the criminal justice system. She was always amazed at the beauty, hope, and resilience of these women and girls, and she strives to bring that same hope, resilience, and beauty into the characters she creates and the stories they tell. Jacqueline tries to balance her love for fast-paced fiction with the true depth of life, to create characters and stories that leave readers pondering who would I become if the world fell away?
Jacqueline lives in Florida with her beautiful sons and incredibly supportive husband. 

Links:

Website: https://jacqueline-brown.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jacquelinebrownauthor/

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/authorjacquelin/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jacquelinebrownauthor/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiBfR1joNDL_Kr9gR8DIyZQ/

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