Nick Cato's Blog, page 50

The SLIME Returns...

After a dirty bomb rocks Manhattan (vaporizing Troma Films' CEO, Lloyd Kaufman), the city is evacuated. Those who don't want to join the new system are forced to scavenge for food and find shelter. Cory and Alexa (played by Kealan Patrick Burke and "Johnny Gruesome"-alumni Jennifer Bihl) find sanctuary in Slime City, a small, desolate community of survivor misfits where anything you may need is available...for a price. They (sort-of) befriend another couple (played by the wonderfully sleazy L...

Sit with the Guru

A DARK MATTER by Peter Straub (2010 Doubleday / 397 pp. / hc)
During the 60s, a group of friends become devoted followers of a college-campus guru named Spencer Mallon. Lee Traux's boyfriend (also named Lee) refuses to get involved. One night in 1966, Mallon brings the group to a meadow to perform an unusual occultic/enlightenment ritual that ends up severely changing the lives of everyone involved.
Modern day: Lee Harwell's a semi-famous author, attempting to understand what happened to his...

This ain't no ERAGON!

CHASING THE DRAGON by Nicholas Kaufman (2009 Chizine Publications / 133 pp. / small tp)
Hot on the heels of the creature that killed her parents, Georgia Quincey battles incredible odds to fulfill her destiny: her ancestors go back to St. George himself, he of the legendary dragon-slay myth (well, apparent reality). She becomes the first female to go after this ancient dragon in its evolved form (also forced to face gang bangers, zombies, and creepy motel managers) while dealing with her...

FINALLY . . . a Remake that Improves on the Original

I've always been against remakes (despite enjoying a couple), so I wasn't expecting too much when I went to see THE CRAZIES, an update of one of my favorite George Romero films. While this new one does use a few horror film cliches and has the feel and set-up of a 50s monster movie, director Breck Eisner (of the 2005 desert adventure, SAHARA) has turned out a surprisingly good, creepy flick.
While this one sticks quite closely to Romero's original, the explanation of what's causing people to g...

You'll hate Yourself For Laughing So Hard...

TABLOID TERRORS 3: ALIEN PERVERTS WRECKED MY PUBES (2009 Skullvines Press / 96 pp. / tp)
The third installment of this whacky series begins with S.D. Hintz' hysterical redneck crop-circle invasion (also titled Alien Perverts Wreckied My Pubes). I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a picture of a crop circle again without laughing my ass off! Next up, Louise Bohmer keeps the laughs going as 'Space Dildo Runs Amok in Nursing Home!' After a nurse from an old-folks home is abducted by...

He Swings...He Misses...

MONSTER by A. Lee Martinez (2009 Orbit / 342 pp. / mmp)
Lee's 6th novel (and the second I've read since his debut, GIL'S ALL FRIGHT DINER) deals with a color-changing human who runs a pest-control company; but he doesn't exactly go after rats and roaches. Along with his self-folding paper partner Chester, he collects ("Ghostbusters-style") all kinds of pesky "cryptobiological" creatures with his unique brand of magic, such as Yetis and all manner of mythical beasts who manage to find their...

Now THIS is How You do a DVD

This legendary underground film is crudely-shot, offensive, barbaric, horribly acted, pointless, silly, terrifying and gross . . . basically everything fans of extreme cinema would want. Barrell Entertainment did a fantastic job with this, from the nice transfer of the film to the mucho-extras (there's even a great interview with the director from a 1975 episode of the Joe Franklin show!) and commentary from both the director and Chas. Balun (both now deceased).

This can easily be considered...

Pulp Friction...

PLEASURE MODEL by Christopher Fowley (2010 Tor / 238 pp. / tp)

This is the first in a planned 3-book run subtitled "Heavy Metal Pulp" (inspired by the famous illustrated fantasy magazine), but note these AREN'T graphic novels; they're novels with plenty of interior artwork (this time courtesy of Justin Norman).

The story is basically a mixture of BLADERUNNER and the "Harry Canyon" segment of the 1981 animated HEAVY METAL film. When a former special ops big shot named Sangacha is found murdered...

Sword and Sandal is alive and well...

DEMON HUNTER: THE CHOSEN ONE by Cynthia Vespia (2009 Aspen Mountain Press / 216 pp. / e-book)

Although the cover of this e-book looks like one of those dime-a-dozen, trendy, sex-packed chick-lit deals, and despite a warning that the story contains adult scenes and language and to store it with e-books that cannot be accessed by kids (I kid you not), Vespia's DEMON HUNTER: THE CHOSEN ONE turned out to be more like a classic re-telling of Conan with a bit of Doug Clegg's "Priest of Blood" serie...

Bizarre even for Bizarro

ARCHELON RANCH by Garrett Cook (2009 LegumeMan Books / 111 pp. / tp and e-book)

Barnard's father and a slightly off-balanced Professor have been injecting him with a strange mud-substance in the hopes of everyone (one day) being able to go unaffected by the effects of the mud(?!). Hoping to find the paradise of the title Ranch, our protagonist(s) go off into the mysterious suburbs---and this is just the beginning of one of the strangest bizarro tales I've read yet.

But this is not just weird f...