Nick Cato's Blog, page 22

Ace's Version of KISStory!

NO REGRETS by Ace Frehley with Joe Layden and John Ostrosky (2011 Simon & Schuster / 305 pp / hc)
As a fan of KISS since I was five years old (maybe even younger), I had a blast reading about the early days of the band, and as a major ACE fan, I LOVED the stories about the recording of his classic 1978 solo album. Like most rock n roll memoirs, there's plenty of drug and alcohol stories, as well as car crashes and near-death experiences. So as a KISS and Ace fan, the book is a lot of fun, especially when Ace trashes Gene and Paul on nearly every other page, then offers something positive about them (although toward the end Gene really comes off as a total scumbag). 

What I DIDN'T like about NO REGRETS are several sections where it's painfully obvious Ace's two co-authors did all the writing, using language that just doesn't fit with the majority of the book's Ace/Bronx attitude and lingo. Sure, Ace is lucky to have one brain cell left after all these years of cocaine and beer parties, but a book released on a major label like this could've taken the time to make each chapter sound like they were part of the same book. A small complaint, but one that I found distracting despite the quickness of the read. 

I'm assuming any KISS fan will find much of this interesting, although fans of Ace's solo bands (if there ARE fans of JUST his solo bands) might be a bit disappointed as there's little time spent talking about them. 

Ace's recollections of his times hanging out with John Belushi are worth the cover price IMO, and he comes off as a cool old-school neighborhood guy you'd want to hang out with. And judging from this book, it seems Ace bagged almost as many women as Gene Simmons! 

Fun stuff for fans, including a 16-page section of rare pics.

Enormity Could Be HUGE

ENORMITY by W.G. Marshall (to be released February, 2012 by Night Shade Books / 280 pp / tp)


Manny Lopes is an American working in Korea, is sort-of married and is sort-of having an affair with a co-worker.  One day an accidental (or is it?) quantum explosion occurs, turning Manny into the size of a mountain...one of the BIGGEST characters ever to appear in a novel.


While Korea is dealing with him (every step he takes causes tsunamis and destroys entire towns), a second giant is spotted near Japan.  It turns out she's a North Korean assassin named Yoon-sook, who worships The Wizard of Oz, and as Manny goes to meet up with her, her government makes her change course for the United States.  Manny's allies manage to hook up to his ear drum and speak with him, guiding him on his cross-planet trek.


Manny and Yoon-sook meet up in an odd confrontation at the Grand Canyon; Manny tries to convice her that since they're the only two giants on the planet, they should unite.  His sweet talking leads to one of the more bizarre sex scenes in recent memory, although Yoon-sook uses it to her advantage.


With another strange creature emerging from this unusual meeting, some great side characters, dark humor and plenty of social commentary, ENORMITY is a fun homage to the sci-fi creature features of the 50s.  The detail that Marshall gives in explaining what such a large person might be like (from the aforementioned walking effects down to the germs on his skin) makes this quite an imaginative read, and one you'll whiz through in no time.  KUDOS for a politically incorrect Muslim named Salim Ali, who rides inside Yook-sook's ear and does something that might have Islamic groups up in arms...yet I laughed my ass off.


Don't miss this.

Half-Off DON for One Week Only!

For this week only, you can get my novel, DON OF THE DEAD, in eBook form, for 50% off at Smashwords.  Just use coupon code JT89H and get your mafia-zombie freak on!
DON OF THE DEAD at SMASHWORDS

One Line Film Reviews

My wife Maria has a knack for making one line film reviews that are at times hysterical and more often than not point out something others had not noticed.  I'm currently trying to collect a bunch she has come up with over the years, but for now here's a sample of her two most popular:




On David Lynch's INLAND EMPIRE:
"I have NO IDEA what that meant, but it was AWESOME!"

On Alexandro Jodorowsky's THE HOLY MOUNTAIN:
"I've never seen so many unerect penises before."


More to come...

One HEADACHE of a Gig!

THE BRAINPAN CONCERTO by Jurt Newton (2011 Sideshow Press /  123 pp / tp)


A musical maniac is kidnapping those with extrodinary musical talent, removing their skull caps and tapping into their brains to record some of the most original music ever heard by human ears.  With the help of a computer hacker, a young music fan manages to track  the lunatic down, only to become another hostage.


On the case are detectives Saul and Gwen, both with their own jaded pasts, an annoying, sexist boss, and they currently happen to be falling for each other.  Along with the young boy, Saul eventually becomes hostage to the maniac's musical scalpel, leaving no other choice but for Gwen to come to the rescue.


THE BRAINPAN CONCERTO features a nifty idea for the killings and has some truly gruesome moments, and despite the standard police fare, I found Newton's quick novella a fine way to spend an hour or so.

A 50 Year-Old Turkey!

THE MAN WHO MADE MANIACS! by Jim Harmon (1961 Epic Books / 155 pp / mmp)


I picked up this 1961 pulp novel looking for some kitschy fun, but unlike a few other pulp/exploitation novels I've read from this era, THE MAN WHO MADE MANIACS was just plain horrible. 

Jace Reid is a Hollywood screenwriter whose life is turned upside down when someone tries to frame him...but with what is never quite clear. There's doctored photos of him with a woman with "big baloozas," and we eventually discover an underground sadism cult considers him their master. In one scene Jace is shot in the head but is back in action a couple chapters later, apparently part of a soap-operaish double-switch thing. 

THE MAN WHO MADE MANIACS--despite its 1961 release date--features some of the goofiest dialogue I've ever read, and is massively unaware of its own stupidity. At one point in the book Jace begins to think himself a vampire, and the allegedly "shocking" sex scenes are tamer than one would think in a book about a "Depraved Cult of Sadism" (back cover blurb). 

Author Harmon (who just passed away in 2010) has somewhat of a cult following, but this wasn't the title to discover him through. Hopefully a small press WON'T be publishing a 50th anniversary edition!

My Top Ten Books of 2011

I have read 88 books so far this year, and should get to (and maybe even pass) 90 by New Year's Day.  SO, unless I read something exceptionally good in the next 2 weeks, this is pretty much my top ten list for 2011.  I had some difficult decisions to make, as I was fortunate enough to read an unusually large amount of GOOD books this year.


Here's my Top Ten, with links back to my original reviews:



10) IDOLS & CONS by S.S. Michaels.  There were a few stellar debut novels released in 2011, and this was easily one of the best.
IDOLS & CONS by S.S. Michaels
~~~

9) THE SORROW KING by Andersen Prunty.  Bizarro fave Prunty showed he can write a solid horror novel on par with the big boys.  This is as creepy as it gets.
THE SORROW KING by Andersen Prunty
~~~

8) THE GERMAN by Lee Thomas.  Here's one author who continues to get better with each passing novel or short story.
THE GERMAN by Lee Thomas
~~~

7) FOR EMMY by Mary SanGiovanni.  SanGiovanni's novella is (hands down) the SCARIEST horror story I read this year.  It packs more punch than most full-sized novels.
FOR EMMY by Mary SanGiovanni
~~~

6) DEVIL TREE by Steve Vernon.  Leaving his trademark dark humor behind, Vernon also took his gloves off and delivered a genuinely frightening horror novel.
DEVIL TREE by Steve Vernon
~~~

5) ENGINES OF DESIRE by Livia Llewellyn.  The all-around BEST (and most original) short story collection of 2011.  A couple of stories have stayed with me since reading this back in February.
ENGINES OF DESIRE by Livia Llewellyn
~~~

4) RULE 34 by Charles Stross.  In this loose sequel to Stross' 2007 novel HALTING STATE, we're back in the world of an ever-present Internet where obscure appliance murders cause headaches for Inspector Liz Kavanaugh.  This quirky futuristic thriller is a prime example of why Stross is one of the best science fiction writers working today.
RULE 34 by Charles Stross
~~~

3) RETURN TO DARKNESS by Michael Laimo.  Laimo's 2004 DEEP IN THE DARKNESS is an all-time personal favorite of mine.  This long-awaited sequel is every bit as scary, engaging, and downright DARK as the original.  It's the fastest I've read through a novel in ages.
RETURN TO DARKNESS by Michael Laimo
~~~

2) KIN by Kealan Patrick Burke.  Burke pulled off no small feat here: he took what could have been a silly, b-movie backwoods redneck slasher plot and turned it into something fresh and terrifying.  Brilliant.
KIN by Kealen Patrick Burke
~~~
AND NOW, MAY WE HAVE A DRUM ROLL PLEASE:

1) EUTOPIA by David Nickle.  Nickle's debut novel reads as if written by a seasoned pro.  EUTOPIA combines several genres into a strange, conspiracy-laden yarn of subtle terror and memorable characters that was a PURE pleasure from start to finish.  THE most impressive (and all around best) novel I read this year.
EUTOPIA by David Nickle
~~~


Some other titles that didn't make my top ten list but I felt compelled to mention:
- COSMIC FORCES by Gregory Lamberson is the third novel in his Jake Helman supernatural P.I. series, and like the two before it's packed with non-stop occult action goodness and gives us a deeper look into Helman's mind.
- IN LAYMON'S TERMS edited by Kelly Laymon, Steve Gerlach and Richard Chizmar.  This HUGE, long-awaited tribute (in both fiction and remembrances) to the late Richard Laymon was well worth the wait.  Not just for Laymon fans, it deserves a place on ANY horror fiction fan's bookshelf.
-DARK STARS RISING by Shade Rupe is a mammoth collection of interviews the author conducted over the years with some of the wildest, strangest, and most innovative entertainers, artists, and film makers on the planet.  UK Publisher Headpress gets major kudos here for the most ATTRACTIVE page layouts I've seen in many a moon.
Eric Mays' KARAOKE DEATH SQUAD was one of the more entertaining bizarro novels with an idea that I still can't get enough of.  It WILL make you want to pick up a microphone...

See ya next year, kiddies!

Booby Apocalypse of the Film Geeks...

BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS (2011 Copeland Valley Press / 174 pp / tp and limited edition hardcover)

While there's no squids, living sex dolls, or obscure foot fetishists in Krall's latest novella, it turned out to be one of the author's strangest (and best) offerings to date...so if you're a bizarro lover pay attention:

Gary Lancaster reviews obscure films exclusively for print publications.  He's on a mission to find a rare film---one he had seen bits and pieces of at a young age.  He manages to track down a crude VHS copy of THE APOCALYPSE DONKEY, his journey taking him to a modern day nudist colony where he meets a sexy older woman in a donkey mask, who he hooks up with.  Trouble starts when her jealous husband (a professional daredevil) finds out and tries to kill him.  Things take a wicked turn when daredevil "Big" Bill Stapleton tries to run Gary over in a diner before he teams up with a flamboyant Mexican chef.

The rest is classic Krall, combining cult film camp with surreal situations and plenty of off key humor.  If you're a fan you'll want this...if you're new to bizarro you just might lose your mind.

There's also plenty of nifty extras here, especially in the limited hardcover edition (a preface, introduction, and foreword from three different authors, as well as a hysterical afterword by Matthew Revert and Krall's interesting notes on the text of each chapter PLUS another Krall short story).  BEYOND THE VALLEY OF THE APOCALYPSE DONKEYS gives the feel of a 60s/70s H.G. Lewis/Russ Meyer nudie movie meshed with a classic underground midnight cult film.

You gotta love it...

Now THIS is a SEQUEL...

RETURN TO DARKNESS by Michael Laimo (2011 Bad Moon Books / 337 pp / tp)


This sequel to the author's 2004 DEEP IN THE DARKNESS picks up right where things left off seven years ago.  The backstory: Dr. Michael Cayle--who has moved his family from Manhattan to a small town in New Hampshire--becomes a slave to a race of small creatures known as Isolates.  They hold his wife and daughter prisoner as they force Michael to heal their sick and mend their wounded in their underground lair.  The creatures have control of everyone in town, and five surrounding towns are also under their spell, making escape impossible.


RETURN TO DARKNESS finds Dr. Michael about to committ suicide, when the thought of his wife and daughter out there in the woods convinces him to go on with the hellish ordeal.  His wife--having been raped by an Isolate and given birth to a demon baby in the first novel--now has Isolate DNA running through her veins.  She appears to Michael as a half human/half monster...but his young daughter Jessica still seems to be all human.  The only way for Michael to get his family back is to have a different person sacrifice an animal to the creatures...a feat that was put on him by an alleged friend, a ritual that has been the town's dark tradition for centuries.


A family of four move in to the neighborhood, and before long Michael plans ways to get one of them to take his place.  But the father is a drunk lunatic, his wife and teenage son no better.  The eighteen-year-old daughter Shea, however, takes a liking to Michael, and before long helps him find his daughter while he helps her to get revenge on her father who has raped and abused her since she was a child.


What follows is a bloody horrific time as Michael--with increasingly poor health due to struggles with the Isolates--plots a way to escape the cursed town with his daughter, all the while wondering what to do about his possessed wife and his feelings for the young girl who risks life and limb to help him.


Like DEEP IN THE DARKNESS, RETURN is chock-full of suspense, plenty of scares and creepy atmosphere, and an impending sense of doom that'll leave readers breathless.  Laimo gives the "ancient evil in a small town" thing a fresh kick in the pants here, delivering a sequel that's every bit as frightening as its predecessor.  This is MUST reading for fans of DEEP, and while newbies will get a better effect if they read DEEP first, there's still enough background given to make it work as a stand alone novel.


The seven year wait for RETURN was well worth it, from its fast paced opening right up to the darker than dark finale.

Uneven...but Good

THE RED EMPIRE AND OTHER STORIES by Joe McKinney (to be released 1/1/2012 by Redrum Horror / 356 pp / tp)


McKinney, best known for his Dead World zombie novels, here delivers a collection featuring a novella and seven shorts, most with a police-theme.


In the novella THE RED EMPIRE, a secret military bio-weapon is accidentally unleashed on a small town where a woman and her young daughter (who is recovering from having cornea implants) are trying to get home during a heavy rain storm.  Adding to the problem is an escaped cop killer, who seeks refuge in the woman's isolated home.  While the story is action-packed and will give you the willies, it's almost as if the killer-ant thing takes a back seat to the psycho/hostage drama.  Good, if a bit uneven.


'Blemish' is a love/ghost story dealing with a cop who ends up leaving the force, and while I didn't find it spooky, McKinney's take on ghosts and lost love is well done.  'Cold Case' deals with a rookie cop who becomes fascinated with the story of a cop who was slain during his second day on the force...back in 1900.  Why this short tale (which originally appeared on a true crime blog) was included in a horror fiction collection is anyone's guess.


My favorite piece here is titled 'The Old Man Under the Sea,' an addictive tale featuring Ernest Hemmingway in Cuba--fresh off a boxing match with Louis Lamour--who becomes enticed by a young girl, only to have her father threaten his life if he doesn't help him with a dangerous diving expedition.  The suspense and mystery here never lets up, and McKinney handles this classic literary figure in a slick way.


'The Millstone' is a pointless trailer-trash outing about two sisters, their wacky neighbor, a cheating boyfriend, and an axe.  Likewise, 'Empty Room' is a sort-of ghost tale about a suicidal would-be father.  And a pistol.  Both tales are forgettable.


The very-well done 'Burning Finger Man' pits a cop assigned to a housing project against an impossible-to-grab freak who molests women in the hallways then seemingly vanishes. Its cast of crackheads and hood rats gives it a genuine hood-film feel. The collection concludes with 'Eyes Open,' an apocalyptic/Lovecraftian yarn about a cop who becomes "enlightened" by a schziophrenic homeless man about a coming calamity.  I'm a sucker for cult-themed stories and this one's quite satisfying.


THE RED EMPIRE AND OTHER STORIES is all over the place, which is fine; but coming from a new small press dedicated to horror fiction, I was surprised to see so many non-genre stories in the mix.  The good tales heavily outweight the bad (and thankfully, the longer stories are the more memorable), so it's still worth your time.  This is the first I've read from McKinney and it's easy to see why he has so much material out there.