Christopher-Charles Chaney's Blog, page 5

Caregiving Knowledge I Wish I Had Known (Part 7 of 7)

7. Wish I’d sought out support groups and organizations earlierI was devastated and overwhelmed with the task of caregiving. Initially, it was hard for me because I thought I was alone, especially when I didn’t get the family and community support I truly needed. As a new caregiver, I felt isolated. Without a support network, I was losing myself in the process.True, I was trying to turn to family and friends for support, but many of them had limited-to-no experience with caregiving. I realize now that many of them didn’t understand, couldn’t relate, or simply didn’t have the caregiving gene. In some cases, the energy I expended pleading for their help was wasted.Eventually, I found organizations and groups providing resources and support to caregivers like me. It was comforting to discover that I wasn’t alone after all, but could link up with like-minded people for support and encouragement. In fact, I learned more about my mother’s condition, possible reactions to medications, other preferred doctors and so much more from caregivers in the support group. In hindsight, I would have been more proactive in searching out support groups and resourceful organizations early on.One final noteYes, there are days when I am afflicted by the should-have, could-have, and would-have syndrome. But if I could go back and re-start my caregiving journey with Mama, I would most likely still have the should-have syndrome, because there’s no such thing as being the perfect caregiver. In fact, the perfect caregiver is simply a present caregiver. I was present when Mama needed me most, and this is the reality that allows me to face myself each morning in the mirror.In hindsight, foresight and now-sight, we as caregivers do feel guilty at times. But based on what we knew at the time, we must recognize that we gave our absolute best. And our best is good enough. Yes, our best is good enough.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For a complete listing of the things I wish I had known, please reference my new caregiving book called Mama Peaches Hot Slices of Wisdom available on Amazon.For more caregiving news you can use join our informational Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/CHANEYspeaks.

Caregiving Knowledge I Wish I Had Known (Part 6 of 7)

Continuing from my initial blog post on September 4.6. Wish I’d known that dementia causes anger, rudeness, and    unpredictable behaviorMama Peaches was convinced that one of the neighbors was entering the house to spy on her. She was also terrified that we would die in a car accident. Transporting her to the doctor, store, or anywhere else became an ongoing challenge. Mama would call my brothers, other family members, and even 911 to claimed that she was being mistreated— which was far from the truth. In short, there were days when Mama Peaches absolutely resisted me despite my desperate pleas for her to comply for the sake of her well-being.Most people associate Alzheimer's and dementia with memory issues, but these diseases can also cause extreme changes in one’s personality and behavior. People who were once polite, kind, and rational can become mean, make wild accusations, as well as see and hear things that are just not there.Through her sickness, Mama believed her feelings and events were real, which caused a great deal of pain and confusion for our family. I wish I had understood earlier that it was the disease talking and not Mama. This understanding would have made it much easier to deal with the hurtful comments and changes in behavior.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Check back next week for the next thing I wish I had know.  For a complete listing, please reference my new caregiving book called Mama Peaches Hot Slices of Wisdom available on Amazon.For more caregiving news you can use join our informational Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/CHANEYspeaks.

It's "Mama Peaches & Me" Monday

Here's your Mama Peaches' nugget of wisdom for today!  Don't forget to share the thought.For more of Mama's timeless quotes and my timely caregiving advice, check out my latest book called Mama Peaches' Hot Slices of Wisdom and find out why social media and everyone in between can't get enough of the award-winning Mama Peaches and Me caregiving books!  Available now on Amazon.com!  Get updates on events, caregiving news, inspiration, a list of my current books, and more at www.CHANEYspeaks.com.Start writing your post here. You can insert images and videos by clicking on the icons above.

Caregiving Knowledge I Wish I Had Known (Part 5 of 7)

Continuing from my initial blog post on September 4.5. Wish I had pushed the doctors moreWhen it comes to the diagnoses and recommendations of medical professionals, baby boomers like me tend to take them at face value. Our parents trusted the decisions of the experts, and so do we. Mama had a primary doctor and specialists who took care of her. I was a little concerned about all the medications she was taking and mentioned this to her doctor. Her primary doctor and specialists didn’t seem too alarmed, so I never really pushed the issue. I trusted the experts and saw no immediate need to challenge them.In hindsight, I have learned that reactions to a medication or to a combination of medications can result in side effects such as memory problems, delusional behavior, irrationality, dizziness, insomnia, and moodiness— all of which can be falsely identified as a normal part of aging. If I had it to do over, I would make sure my Mama had a geriatrician, a doctor with specialized knowledge of the ways medications can affect a senior's mental and physical health. One should never assume that the primary doctor knows how medications can interact with elderly patients.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Check back next week for the next thing I wish I had know.  For a complete listing, please reference my new caregiving book called Mama Peaches Hot Slices of Wisdom available on Amazon.For more caregiving news you can use join our informational Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/CHANEYspeaks.

It's Mama Peaches' Monday!

Here's your Mama Peaches' nugget of wisdom for today.  Don't forget to share the thought.For more of Mama's timeless quotes and my timely caregiving advice, check out my latest book called Mama Peaches' Hot Slices of Wisdom and find out why social media and everyone in between can't get enough of the award-winning Mama Peaches and Me caregiving books!Available now on Amazon.com!Get updates on events, caregiving news, inspiration, a list of my current books, and more at www.CHANEYspeaks.com

Caregiving Knowledge I Wish I Had Known (Part 4 of 7)

Continuing from my initial blog post on September 4.4. Wish I’d had a better filing systemThere were so many documents to keep up with over time. Mama’s bills, receipts, letters, medical papers, health insurance documents, and the list went on. Heck, managing my own documents was a nightmare in and of itself. It wasn’t just a simple matter of having a stack of Mama’s stuff. There were times when I needed to access information quickly. Imagine being on hold with the health insurance company for over 30 minutes. Finally, the representative gets back on the phone and surprises you with a request for information you weren’t exactly prepared to share. You know you have it in the “stack”— it just may take another 30 minutes to find. The health insurance representative kindly invites you to call back once you have the requested information. Ugh, which means you will probably be on hold for another 30 minutes.In the beginning, I had a few documents here and there. Managing stacks of documents was, for a while, feasible. However, the stacks were growing with time. I wasn’t prepared for ever-increasing mountains of paperwork. I eventually invested in file folders and a file bin to keep everything stored and easier to find. In hindsight, I wish I had done that from day one.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Check back next week for the next thing I wish I had know.  For a complete listing, please reference my new caregiving book called Mama Peaches Hot Slices of Wisdom available on Amazon.For more caregiving news you can use join our informational Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/CHANEYspeaks.

It's Mama Peaches Monday

Give me a drum roll and a trumpet blow!  The latest book in the award-winning Mama Peaches and Me caregiving series, Mama Peaches Hot Slices of Wisdom, is finally here!  Click hereand read Hot Slices' first outstanding book review from the Caregiver's Living Room Blog (Canada). 

Caregiving Knowledge I Wish I Had Known (Part 3 of 7)

Continuing from my initial blog posting on September 4.3. Wish I’d had Mama spiesNearly all of Mama’s children were at least five hours away from the city she lived in. However, I lived the closest to her, about two and half hours away. I tried to visit my mother at least one weekend a month, and spoke to her on the phone at least once a week, as did my brothers. But we all worked, and I traveled a lot— there was just no way for us to be there with her constantly.After Mama was first diagnosed with dementia, I was approached by a few family members who admitted that they’d intended to call me because they had noticed that my mother was acting unusually. I was deeply disappointed that no one had made that critical call. Frequently, in the case of brain and memory disorders, there is a window of opportunity in which the struggles and problems can be masked from others. My brothers and I didn’t see her every day, so Mama was able to skillfully mask her condition for a long time. And because of the mask, we couldn’t react accordingly.Looking back, I would have asked Mama’s close friends and neighbors to keep an eye on her. This would entail them contacting me immediately if there were any signs of trouble or concern. Yes, people talk, and they most certainly did. I just wish I’d had wind of those early whispers.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Check back next week for the next thing I wish I had know.  For a complete listing, please reference my new caregiving book called Mama Peaches Hot Slices of Wisdom available on Amazon.For more caregiving news you can use join our informational Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/CHANEYspeaks.

IT'S "MAMA PEACHES & ME" MONDAY

Here is your Mama Peaches fuel for week!For more of Mama's timeless quotes and my timely caregiving advice, watch for the national debut of "Mama Peaches' Hot Slices of Wisdom" -- the next anticipated book in the award-winning caregiving book series.Available soon on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.comWatch for future updates and news at www.CHANEYspeaks.com

CHANEYspeaks!