Lily Cahill's Blog, page 4

REVIEW: “Modern Romance” by Aziz Ansari

A hilarious, thoughtful, and in-depth exploration of the pleasures and perils of modern romance from one of this generation’s sharpest comedic voices

At some point, every one of us embarks on a journey to find love. We meet people, date, get into and out of relationships, all with the hope of finding someone with whom we share a deep connection. This seems standard now, but it’s wildly different from what people did even just decades ago. Single people today have more romantic options than at any point in human history. With technology, our abilities to connect with and sort through these options are staggering. So why are so many people frustrated?

Some of our problems are unique to our time. “Why did this guy just text me an emoji of a pizza?” “Should I go out with this girl even though she listed Combos as one of her favorite snack foods? Combos?!” “My girlfriend just got a message from some dude named Nathan. Who’s Nathan? Did he just send her a photo of his penis? Should I check just to be sure?” 

But the transformation of our romantic lives can’t be explained by technology alone. In a short period of time, the whole culture of finding love has changed dramatically. A few decades ago, people would find a decent person who lived in their neighborhood. Their families would meet and, after deciding neither party seemed like a murderer, they would get married and soon have a kid, all by the time they were twenty-four. Today, people marry later than ever and spend years of their lives on a quest to find the perfect person, a soul mate.

For years, Aziz Ansari has been aiming his comic insight at modern romance, but forModern Romance, the book, he decided he needed to take things to another level. He teamed up with NYU sociologist Eric Klinenberg and designed a massive research project, including hundreds of interviews and focus groups conducted everywhere from Tokyo to Buenos Aires to Wichita. They analyzed behavioral data and surveys and created their own online research forum on Reddit, which drew thousands of messages. They enlisted the world’s leading social scientists, including Andrew Cherlin, Eli Finkel, Helen Fisher, Sheena Iyengar, Barry Schwartz, Sherry Turkle, and Robb Willer. The result is unlike any social science or humor book we’ve seen before.

In Modern Romance, Ansari combines his irreverent humor with cutting-edge social science to give us an unforgettable tour of our new romantic world.

 

Rating: 4 out of 5 capes

Heroes,

As a fan of both “Parks and Recreation” and social science, I was really excited to check out Aziz Ansari’s first book, “Modern Romance.” I’ve listened to a couple of biographies of famous, funny people, and I figured this would be along the same lines–some ridiculous stories from his childhood, followed by his experiences as a young comedian, concluding with some insider dish on his Hollywood colleagues. And if he was doing it through the prism of his dating life, even better. As a romance writer, I’m convinced that most things in life come back to love. I was interested to see his take on it.

Well, this is not the book I thought it was going to be. It’s far more interesting than that. The narrative of “Modern Romance” is peppered with personal stories, but for the most part Ansari is exploring the modern world of dating with the help of various experts and the latest research into online dating trends. So much of this book reflected my own experience and that of my friends. We spend an inordinate amount of time analyzing text messages, Tinder profiles, and boring first dates. It turns out we’re not alone.

Ansari makes the point early on that the biggest difference between romance today and romance 50 years ago is that in the past, most people were looking for companionate love as opposed to soulmate love. In the past, people got married young and typically chose someone who lived in their immediate area. Today, however, we live in an era of infinite choice. More people live in big cities, where they see new and interesting faces every day. And the internet connects us with thousands of strangers who are just a well-crafted message away from becoming dates.  This sea of possibilities makes it difficult to focus on one person and fully commit to a relationship. Both partners fear being rejected, so neither is willing to admit their interest. Eventually relationships fall apart, sometimes before they even begin.

Ansari does offer some tips for creating the sort of dates that can lead to a more meaningful connection. First, messaging someone online is not unlike submitting a cover letter. It’s okay–even useful–to have a format greeting, as long as it’s interesting and says something about you as a person. Next, don’t date wider; date deeper. Even if someone wasn’t a perfect match on the first date, try going for a second or third. A deeper connection might be possible if you actually invest some time in getting to know your date. Third, stop going on the same boring first date every time. Instead of drinks-and-maybe-dinner, Ansari recommends a monster truck rally. Experiencing something for the first time with another person forms a bond. Seeing your date outside of their comfort zone tells you way more about their personality than having the same getting-to-know-you conversation you’ve both had a thousand times. I feel like I learned a lot from this book, and I want all my single friends to read it.

For my friends in relationships, it is less useful. Ansari talks about how cheating is facilitated in the digital age, but he doesn’t discuss a lot of problems facing long-term relationships. For instance, it would have been interesting to me to learn more about acceptable levels of digital privacy in relationships. Should your significant other have your passwords or login codes? What do we know about the way healthy couples handle their finances? Is marriage even necessary in the modern social environment? Ansari doesn’t address any of these issues, but I suppose the book is called “Modern Romance,” not “Modern Long-Term Relationships.” He chose the much catchier title.

Ansari also recently released “Master of None” on Netflix, a ten-episode series that, in some ways, expands on the ideas in “Modern Romance.” He is taking an interesting turn away from his image of the self-indulgent Tom Haverford he played so well on “Parks and Rec.” This book is thoughtful, intelligent, and sensitive. And if you get the audiobook, Ansari reads it himself and berates you for being too lazy to actually read. Which is more delightful than it sounds. Check it out!

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Book Review: “Landline” by Rainbow Rowell

As far as time machines go, a magic telephone is pretty useless.

TV writer Georgie McCool can’t actually visit the past — all she can do is call it, and hope it picks up.

And hope he picks up.

Because once Georgie realizes she has a magic phone that calls into the past, all she wants to do is make things right with her husband, Neal.

Maybe she can fix the things in their past that seem unfixable in the present. Maybe this stupid phone is giving her a chance to start over …

Does Georgie want to start over?

 

If you are looking for a unique romance to get you in the mood for the holiday season, I seriously cannot recommend “Landline” enough. Read it, listen to it, snuggle your nose deep inside those pages. I was totally obsessed with this book. I am generally a Rainbow Rowell fan, but this book was just so perfect for the time of year.

Rowell writes her prose with character detail that makes you fall in love with the characters and root for them to succeed. The premise of this book is that the main character, Georgie McCool, uses her childhood phone to call her out-of-town husband, Neal, and reaches him in the past. She finds him at a moment in time when she believes she can fix everything that’s gone wrong with their relationship.

What is so exceptionally wonderful about this book is SO MANY THINGS! I loved the split in time, watching the characters fall in love for the first time (which is why we all read romance) while also seeing some of the struggle relationships go through, regardless of how much two people love each other. We get to see the stomachs full of butterflies; we see the perfection, passion, and discovery of finding love. We also get to see the joys and hardships of a long-term relationship and having a family. When Georgie is confronted with Neal of the past, she’s forced to address the problems in her marriage, and we as a reader get to root for the characters to get together for the first time while simultaneously rooting for them to fix what’s gone wrong.

As someone who reads “The H Street Sledding Record,” by Ron Carlson every year, I am definitely one who appreciates love at Christmas. “Landline” doesn’t just take place during the holidays, it embraces the spirit. All of the quirky events and characters in this book support Georgie and Neal’s journey and make for a book that I was so sad to end, that I couldn’t pick up anything else for a week because I knew it wouldn’t be as good as “Landline.”

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Ten Gifts for Fiction Lovers

When gathering gifts for this post, I was so tempted to buy them all for myself. Plus some other items that have nothing to do with fiction but were just plum adorable. We hope you you find these ten gifts for fiction lovers helpful for your holiday shopping. Happy Holidays!

Hold ‘Em Up Bookends

I have a few books … but I actually don’t own any bookends. I found so many that I loved, but these were my favorite. They are grabbing at those beautiful covers, caressing the stories waiting to be read.

Classic Quote Mugs

The quotes on these literary mugs are fabulous. Whether you’re buying for a Poe or a Vonnegut, you can’t go wrong.

Infinity Book Scarves

These scarves come in loads of different books. I’m partial to Huck Finn, but they have something for everyone.

Author Paper Dolls

There is a cockroach outfit for the Kafka paper doll. ‘Nuff said.

Inspiring Pencils

These pencils are great for writers and readers. They are just so pleasant and happy.

Moby Dick Throw Pillow

I love the drama of this pillow. Hint: It also comes in a framed print.

Chapter One/The End Earrings

The story is all between your ears. Or literally in your ears.

F. Scott Fitzgerald Quote Bag

This one is my personal favorite. If someone gave this bag to me, I would melt. (hint, hint)

Fully Illustrated Harry Potter

This one seems pretty obvious, but since we are all such Potter fanatics, I just couldn’t leave it off the list. If you haven’t crept into your local bookstore to leaf through this illustrated edition yet, I highly recommend it. It is beyond pretty. So perfect for those of us who are antsy to start reading these novels to youngsters who aren’t quite ready for non-picture books.

Cats Reading Books Throw Blanket

This reading cat blanket might be primarily (aka exclusively) for fellow Lily, Elizabeth Crowne, but if you, too, know someone who loves cats, and books, and wrapping themselves in a blanket, they probably don’t love those things as much as Liz does. But if you do, then it is your moral obligation to purchase this and give the best holiday gift that cat-loving weirdo will get this year.

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A Thanksgiving Recipe: Paulie’s Stuffing

This is my dad’s recipe for stuffing (he’s Italian, so I have some street cred here). It’s a crowd favorite. The first year I brought my husband (then boyfriend) over for Thanksgiving he ate so much of this stuffing that he made himself sick. He literally couldn’t move and demanded not to be touched. This was back in the phase where we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, so I was shocked and appalled.

If you are looking to impress with some unique and delicious stuffing, this recipe is for you. If you are looking to get lucky, perhaps you should forego this recipe and make a salad instead.

Paulie’s Stuffing

2 packages Pepperidge Farm seasoned stuffing
3 stalks celery
1/2 large vidalia or sweet onion
2 large jalapeno peppers
12-16 oz baby bella mushrooms
3 links hot Italian sausage
1/2 stick butter
1 can Swanson chicken broth

Bake the sausage at 350 for 45 minutes, turning once; slice thinly (about 1/8-1/4″) and put aside. Dice the celery, onions, and pepper; slice the mushrooms and sauté it all in a tablespoon of butter.

While this is on the stove, empty the bread stuffing into a large bowl, put the remainder of the butter and sausage on top. When the onions are translucent, transfer the sauté on top of the stuffing mix and let the butter melt. Turn the mixture, adding the soup broth as you do as well as salt and pepper to taste. (Depending on your preference for moist or drier stuffing, you may not need the entire can of broth.)

After the turkey is stuffed, the remainder of the stuffing can be put in a casserole dish with additional pats of butter and baked along side the turkey.

Vintage Thanksgiving dinner – Paulie’s Stuffing not featured

Enjoy your stuffing and your leftovers! My mouth is watering thinking about all the turkey, potatoes, and stuffing I’m going to devour!

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Plotting vs. Pantsing

It’s November, also known in the writer world as National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). This is a frenzied time when thousands of writers attempt to complete an entire 50,000+ wordcount book in just 30 days. It’s both exhilarating and terrifying. For me personally, I’ve done NaNo three times, “winning” twice.

So thinking of NaNo, we here at Lily Cahill started talking: Plot vs. Pants? Do you prefer a fully-detailed plot outline before you dig into a new story, or do you fly by the seat of your pants and just let the writing take you where it will? Here are thoughts from two Lilies on either side of the debate … -Renee Coen

TO PLOT OR TO PANTS, THAT IS THE QUESTION

Plotter for life, y’all

I’m all about the plotting, and always have been. I don’t step inside the grocery store without a plan, so you can imagine what kind of roadmap I typically build when I’m about to write a book. Let’s just say it’s involved. As an unofficial NANOWRIMO-er this year (GOAL: 80k words from 11/4-12/4), I’ve got those outlines locked and loaded.

My background is in screenwriting, which is very much about having a tight, solid structure. I’ve definitely brought that perspective to my novels as well. When we started this adventure together, I sort of maybe strong-armed the rest of the Lilies into plotting too. (They call me President Lily for a reason, folks. I’m one bossy lady.) To me, it’s the most important part of the process. It’s my chance to make all the mistakes I would typically make in the first draft, without wasting a lot of time or words to make them. There’s a lot of experimenting going on there, and it typically goes through a few drafts before I feel solid about the direction. Then it’s my best friend during the true first-draft process.

One of the most common worries I hear about plotting is that it removes your ability to have those happy discoveries along the way that are just as surprising to you as they are to the reader. But I don’t find that to be true at all! Having a roadmap doesn’t mean you can’t take a detour if it feels right. It just gives you directions on how to get to your final destination efficiently without missing anything important along the way.

I always leave myself some room to experiment inside the draft, especially where characters are concerned. I feel like I learn the most about my characters as I write them. No matter how I plan, the people that emerge on the page are always different than I expect. A good outline is character-driven and allows you the flexibility to make adjustments and discoveries.

So could I ever imagine myself just diving in and pantsing away? Hell no. That sounds like skydiving in a hurricane without a parachute. You might survive (anything’s possible, I guess), but probably not. I’m a plotter for life, y’all. -Livia Harper

Fly by the seat of my pants

First of all, pantsing sounds like so much more fun than plotting. But besides the way it sounds, I find pantsing to be a more creatively fulfilling process.

I know that plotting is more efficient, but I frequently feel that my writing suffers from knowing what is supposed to happen in a scene. Instead of immersing myself in the sights, sounds, and smells around my characters, I end up writing blocky sentences that lead to the logical conclusion. It’s a one way ticket to Terrible Writer Prison. When I do use an outline what I gain in first draft efficiency, I lose in rewriting all of my stiff prose.

Even when I outline well, I find my best writing to come from the scenes that get added in on the spot. I love when my characters lead me somewhere or do something unplanned. Exploring their actions and feelings when they are taking you to unexpected places is so much more fun and revealing than trying to force structure.

I like to cook without measuring cups and spoons. I’m not a big fan of rules (or at least of not following them). And I’d prefer to fly by the seat of my pants rather than be confined to an outline. -Alex Casola

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“The Secret Life of Anna Blanc” release

We here at Lily Cahill love supporting our friends, so we weren’t about to pass up the chance to celebrate Jennifer Kincheloe’s release of her amazing historical mystery, “The Secret Life of Anna Blanc.” We are so proud of Jennifer and her debut novel, and had a lovely time at her reading and book signing at a local Barnes & Noble.

Jennifer Kincheloe signing her book for us!

Some of us were lucky enough to read early copies of “The Secret Life of Anna Blanc,” and we can’t wait for the rest of the world to discover Jennifer’s fast-paced, funny, adventurous romp through early-1900s L.A.

Ugh! How gorgeous is that cover!

It’s 1907 Los Angeles. Mischievous socialite Anna Blanc is the kind of young woman who devours purloined crime novels—but must disguise them behind covers of more domestically-appropriate reading. She could match wits with Sherlock Holmes, but in her world women are not allowed to hunt criminals. 

Determined to break free of the era’s rigid social roles, Anna buys off the chaperone assigned by her domineering father and, using an alias, takes a job as a police matron with the Los Angeles Police Department. There she discovers a string of brothel murders, which the cops are unwilling to investigate. Seizing her one chance to solve a crime, she takes on the investigation herself. 

If the police find out, she’ll get fired; if her father finds out, he’ll disown her; and if her fiancé finds out, he’ll cancel the wedding and stop pouring money into her father’s collapsing bank. Midway into her investigation, the police chief’s son, Joe Singer, learns her true identity. And shortly thereafter she learns about blackmail.

Anna must choose—either hunt the villain and risk losing her father, fiancé, and wealth, or abandon her dream and leave the killer on the loose.

You can buy “The Secret Life of Anna Blanc” at your favorite bookseller today! Congratulations again, Jennifer!

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“The Exorcist,” or: The Scariest F**king Movie of All Time

I have a serious film obsession. I am kind of addicted to going to movies–I love eating popcorn in the dark, and those moments when the audience reacts to something in unison, and the fact that everyone is in there together, seeing the same thing, and yet having their own, separate experience. There is something magical about movie theaters, I’m positive.

One of my favorite movie genres is horror, but I’m picky about them. Slasher films aren’t my thing (unless they’re campy to the point of hilarity), and things like both versions of “Funny Games?” Egh. No, thank you. Michael Haneke can judge me for watching horror movies all he wants. At least I didn’t spend millions of dollars making the same horror film twice.

But if you give me a good scary movie–ooh, I love it. Chill me. Keep me up at night. Make me jump a foot in the air. I’m a down for this experience. Being a little frightened can be very, very fun.

A few years ago, a local theater played “The Exorcist” during Halloween. I’d never seen it, and I called up a friend who I’d known had seen “The Exorcist” and asked for her opinion: How did it hold up? She said it was dated, but that she thought I’d like it. It was “okay,” in her opinion. Not too scary. So I didn’t bother inviting anyone else, just turned up at the theater, got my popcorn, and got ready to watch my not-too-scary film.

Maybe if I’d looked more closely at the poster, I would have realized that my friends are liars who want to hurt me, and this movie is CLEARLY VERY SCARY.

Only that friend is apparently the lyingest liar to ever lie because “The Exorcist” is terrifying.

I mean, there are scary movies, and there are scary movies. “The Exorcist” is the latter. Twelve-year-old Reagan plays with a ouija board and then starts acting funny–using bad language, showing abnormal strength. Head spinning around. Not the usual pre-teen kind of thing. Two priests are brought in to conduct an exorcism. It doesn’t go well.

It’s a simple premise, something that’s been done in the movies countless times–but it’s never been done this effectively, before or since. The spiderwalk scene, cut from the original film but restored in the version I saw, is twenty seconds of nightmare-inducing terror, and arguably the scariest scene in any film, ever. Period. Don’t believe me?  Check it out for yourself. I literally climbed my chair in the theater.

Not everyone is down for a scary movie, but if you’re looking for a spine-tingling time this Halloween, check out “The Exorcist.” Be smarter than I was about it, however, and make sure to have a friend on deck to hold your hand during the worst bits. When I got home from seeing it alone, I made all my roommates sit in a brightly lit room while I hugged a pillow. I was twenty-three and had no excuse. It was not my proudest moment.

If you end up watching the movie, make sure to let me know what you think. I hope everyone has a spooky and fun Halloween!

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REVIEW: “You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost)” by Felicia Day

From online entertainment pioneer, actress, and “queen of the geeks” Felicia Day, You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) is a “relentlessly funny and surprisingly inspirational” (Forbes.com), memoir about her unusual upbringing, her rise to internet stardom, and embracing her weirdness to find her place in the world.

Showcasing Felicia’s “engaging and often hilarious voice” (USA TODAY), You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost) is proof that everyone should celebrate what makes them different and be brave enough to share it with the world, because anything is possible now—even for a digital misfit.

Rating: 4.5 out of 5 Capes

Heroes,

Let me just admit that I was not 100% sure who Felicia Day was when I picked up her memoir, “You’re Never Weird on the Internet (Almost).” I knew her vaguely as the redheaded girl on “Supernatural” (which I never got in to, despite the massive hotness of both Jared Padalecki and Jenson Ackles), or the redheaded girl from “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” (which I totally got in to, but I’ve got serious sparklehearts for Nathan Fillion and I can barely register anyone but him). She’s famous in that way that’s like, “people on the internet say she’s pretty cool,” so when I saw the book, I thought, eh, why not?

(Edited to add from Renee: AND she was a “potential” in S7 of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” I mean, come on, Cory! Okay, carry on with your review …)

I knew I would like this audiobook (read by the author) when Felicia Day acknowledged her weird little slice of fame with a great introductory story about being approached by a group of fans in the mall. I won’t spoil the delivery, but suffice it to say that Day’s baffled reaction to her own quirky appeal is charming and gently self-mocking. Day tells stories of her home-schooled childhood and her early years trying to make it as an actress with the aplomb of a veteran comic, and speaks movingly of her struggles with a gaming addiction and the price of speaking out on the internet. Day reaches out to her audience with candor and humor, and I felt connected to her in return.

Not all autobiographies leave me feeling like, yeah, I want to be friends with this person. But I totally want to be friends with Felicia Day.

The part of the book that touched me the most was the section where Day discusses the writing and producing of her show “The Guild.” The show, which features a group of friends who play a MMORPG as a team, originated on YouTube, which was essentially brand new at the time. Day was encouraged to write the series by a group of women, calling themselves “Chicken,” who met regularly as a sort of informal support group. Later, they went on to work together on the series, taking it from a shoestring production in Day’s own home to a seven-season cult favorite that essentially created the genre of web shows.

Day’s description of this time period reminds me so much of the last year writing as Lily Cahill. She talks about the insane hours, the intense pressure, the difficulty of doing everything, and periods of crippling self-doubt. But she also talks about how much fun it is to work with your friends to create something that excites you. Working with other women helped Day bring her creative vision to reality, and working with the women of Lily Cahill has pushed me to expand my creative horizons and pursue my dreams. I found her commitment to the project and willingness to experiment with marketing techniques very inspiring, and I hope I can bring the same determination and sincerity to the Independence Falls series.

I also started watching Day’s Vaginal Fantasy Book Club series, and I’m totally in love. I’ve been looking for an online community to share my love of romance novels, and I think I may have found it. You can check out Felicia Day there, or at Geek and Sundry, the all-things-nerdy YouTube channel Day created and to which she regularly contributes.

I’m sure Day wrote her autobiography hoping to appeal to fans, but in my case she created a new fan through her book. I very much enjoyed it, and I think you will too.

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Vintage Halloween

People always talk about a simpler time … a time when phones and computers didn’t sap our attention. A time when things were just more wholesome.

Yeah … looking at the following photos, I’ve got to disagree (and leave every light on in my house from now until I’m 90). I’d so take a completely stupid “sexy” Halloween costume over these vintage Halloween terrors. Need proof of creepier times? I present to you exhibits A through AHHHHHHHHH:

Holding hands gives them more power to steal your soul. (Photo by simpleinsomnia via Flickr Creative Commons.)

Nope. Just nope. (Photo by Delilah Jenkins via Flickr Creative Commons.)

Child(ren) of the corn. His homicidal cornmates are right behind you. (Photo by Richard via Flickr Creative Commons.)

This is what comes out of the mirror when you say “vintage Halloween” three times. (Photo by Richard via Flickr Creative Commons.)

“What’d you do at school today, little Timmy?” “Oh, you know, just slaughtered the adults and bathed in their sacrificial blood.” (Photo by Richard via Flickr Creative Commons.)

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10 *Best Sexy Halloween Costumes (*worst)

I know people complain about how over-the-top ridiculous the sexy halloween trend has gotten every year. And I really can’t agree more. But it’s gotten to the point where it’s funny now. It doesn’t bother me anymore.

Years ago when I was in college, I saw a sexy cab driver. Hiding behind my roommate, I used my fancy new smartphone camera to zoom in from afar and take a creepy picture. I truly did not think I would ever see anything more preposterous. But alas, that was mumble mumble years ago. And things have just gotten worse and worse. The costumes have that “Family Guy” joke quality to them, though. It was weird and uncomfortable, but it’s gone on so long now that it’s just truly funny. Below are my top ten sexy costumes of the year.

THE TOPICAL

Sexy Donald Trump:

There is literally nothing sexy about Donald Trump. I would definitely rather hook up with this girl than Donald Trump, but I could say that about literally anyone over Donald Trump. Also this hair. He highly doubt the real Trump has real hair. This hair looks legit, so the costume isn’t really even representing the real thing.

Sexy Subway Pizza Rat:

I get that it’s topical, but why does this exist? Why?

THE THINLY-DISGUISED UNDERWEAR

The Sexy Mermaid:

I do not take issues with the sexy mermaid. Mermaids are inherently sexy, but this is simply underwear. How can we call underwear a costume? I know that’s basically what all sexy costumes are, but this one doesn’t seem to be making even an attempt at an argument for being more than lingerie.

THE GOOD ENOUGH TO EAT

The Sexy Corn:

I am not sure who is buying this costume. Have you ever eaten corn? You get all that crap in your teeth and all over your face. It is decidedly one of the unsexiest foods. I am just confused by this.

The Sexy Hamburger:

Can I just go on a rant for a quick second? Yes, I understand this entire post is a rant, but humor me anyway. Can we all just simultaneously vote right now to never see any more crazy-hot ladies biting into juicy cheeseburgers that represent their weekly calorie counts? I hate it so much. Not only are we supposed to be thin and sexy, but now we are also supposed to eat terrible fast food and look that way? I call bullshit. Let’s veto this now and avoid a bulimia epidemic.

THE WTF

The Sexy Devil:

Sometimes there are no words. I do not have issue with a sexy devil. I think temptation and being naughty makes a sexy devil sensible. But, what the f*** is this? Bwahaha. I desperately want to see someone wearing this silliness.

The Sexy Weed Nurse:

Also a bit topical. This nurse has marijuana plants covering her nipples. New levels of silliness on old favorites.

The Sexy Fish:

I saw a lot of costumes like this last year. They are just inherently not sexy. A cold fish with a funky hood. I just do not understand. Maybe the fish mouth is supposed to remind us of lady parts? I don’t know. Your guess is as good as mine.

The Sexy Mickey Mouse:

I have a huge, huge issue with this. First of all, Mickey Mouse was my first crush. I thought we were going to get married and I was going to be best friends with Minnie. I obviously did not have a great grasp on how the world works. Anyway, why are we doing this? Why are we taking sweet, innocent childhood heros and sexualizing them? I hate it. So much.

The Not-So-Sexy Nerd:

When I looked up sexy Halloween costumes for boys, this and a myriad of similarly sexy costumes came up. This seems like the opposite of sexy. Don’t get me wrong. Nerds can be super sexy, but this one is not.

I still maintain, if you are going to be sexy be a prostitute, or a stripper, or a Bond girl, or a Playboy Bunny, or Wonder Woman–or you know, anything that is actually sexy. But it seems the world has the opposite idea. Make the most unsexy things into sexy costumes. Ugh.

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