Kevin M. Troupe's Blog, page 3
October 26, 2014
Hope During Heartache…
This week I have the pleasure to announce a guest post for our Lessons from Matthew & Isaac. I met Cheri at a writers conference we both attended in Nashville about 3 years ago. Our ministries overlap in so many ways. She writes from her heart and the desire to send hope and healing to families who have suffered loss. In her latest book, Hope During Heartache, she shares the stories of families who have dealt with the pain and emotional healing from Infertility, Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Death of a Child. I will hand over the keyboard to Cheri…see you again at the end of the post…
Hope During Heartache
Infertility…miscarriage…stillbirth…or death of a child. I’m a member of an exclusive group. I never wanted to join this club. When I was a little girl dreaming of my happily-ever-after, this particular sorority was never thought of as a possibility.
My orientation into this club began with a missed period in November 2006. I was happily married with two children. Even though this pregnancy was God planned, not we planned, my whole body reacted with sheer joy at the thought of another child from Him to raise, teach, and love. Before even having a chance to tell my husband the good news, I already had our child through his fifth year of life – at holidays, birthday parties, playing in the summertime – a real part of our family.
Miscarriage was something I thought happened to someone else, not me. However, one day short of twelve-weeks marked the beginning of the end. I woke my husband up to tell him something wasn’t right, but waited until after putting our six-year-old on the bus to call the doctor’s office. I figured they would want to see me right away. Instead, I was ordered strict bedrest. Within two hours of staring at the ceiling trying not to worry, I lost our baby, in our bed, alone.
After a D&C two days later due to complications, my physical body recovered quickly, but emotionally it took me much longer. About six months after the miscarriage, around the time our baby should have been born, I began searching for books that would offer me hope and a promise that I would smile again despite the pain that engulfed me. I never found exactly what I desperately needed. I remember crying out to God in frustration – long before the dream of writing was ever watered – and stating, “Someday, God, I will write a book that will offer hope to those who hurt!” Those powerful words, spoken with conviction, were tucked away deep into my heart.
November 2008, almost exactly two years after finding out I was carrying our third child, I missed another cycle. Hoping, but not believing, and very much afraid this time, I stared at two lines on a stick and wondered how I would tell my husband yet again that God had allowed another miracle to grow. July 2009 we welcomed our “bonus blessing,” the child God knew needed to be born to make our family complete.
By this time, I was working full time from home as a medical transcriptionist which afforded me the flexibility of raising our littlest without having to rely on daycare. I cherished every single day, thanking God for this blessing so underserved. Not that our youngest was cherished more than our older two children, but the innocence we had with our other children had disappeared with the loss of our third. All the while, the promise I had made two years before remained forgotten.
October 2011: It was during my first writer’s conference when God reminded me of the promise I had whispered to Him four years earlier. “If this is what You want, Lord, I’ll obey. Please lead me to the people whose stories You want shared.” I came home and began asking courageous men and women if they would be willing to tell their personal stories of heartache, offering hope to others who are walking that path themselves.
By September 2014, the book that God put together became a reality, but had one missing part before it could be published. The perfect cover. For months, I had been searching for a picture which would depict a message of hope during one of the darkest times in a parent’s life. I was getting frustrated, yet, I should know better. God, my Father, who is always personal, also always has perfect timing. My husband found the perfect picture on Facebook after a terrible storm swept through our area. I messaged the woman who took the photo and explained why I was asking permission to use it. She responded immediately with a “yes.” She shared that her family has also been personally touched by the topic of the book.
October 1, 2014, Hope During Heartache was officially released. It was the fulfillment of the promise I made to God one ordinary spring day in 2007 while I was desperately seeking hope and freedom from my pain.
God is never the Creator of pain. Instead, I believe He smiled the day I made Him that promise, borne out of frustration, to use the pain in our family’s life to help others through their difficult journeys. As a result, He lovingly guided me every step of the way until that promise was fulfilled.
Hope During Heartache is the result of my promise to Him.
Cheri Swalwell is a Christ follower who thoroughly enjoys her calling to be a wife, mother, and writer, in that order. She enjoys writing regularly for Book Fun Magazine and LIFE TO THE FULLEST. Her Spoken from the Heart Series is available through Amazon in both eBook and paperback versions. Her latest book, Hope During Heartache, a compilation of 13 men and women’s stories told from their viewpoint about hope after the loss of a child, was released in October and is available at Amazon in paperback and eBook versions. To read one of her many articles on life from a Christian perspective, visit her blog at: http://bit.ly/1gRp9oK. She loves to interact with her readers, so send her an email at clSwalwell99@gmail.com
Cheri’s book can be purchased from Amazon in both print and eBook versions at the following link:
Thank you, Cheri for the gift of Hope During Heartache. I read the book in just two sittings. I cried along with several stories as people shared their heart of the pain of loss and then peace. Their stories are very transferable to our own journey and I would trust that this is close to home to many in our CHARGE Syndrome community. Maybe there is someone you know who could benefit from this book.
Next week I will return with another Lesson…Until then you can lift up the Troupe’s as we prepare Isaac for another surgery in November and for the start of a very busy season for our household as we fully immerse into the holiday season.
You may share our story, our prayer needs and this blog as you feel led by using the share buttons below. If you would like updates on when new content is added to the blog or to keep up with current prayer requests for the Troupe’s you may subscribe at the top of the right hand column of this blog. Don’t worry about providing your email address…I had enough SPAM and eggs growing up…l would never send any unnecessary SPAM your way!
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September 18, 2014
Our magic clothes dryer…
The secret is out. The Troupe’s have a magic clothes dryer in our laundry room. It is a normal one, just like the one you may have but it has, according the Matthew, one feature yours may not. Ours makes and is the source of all new pajamas. He checks it several times a day just to see what may have appeared since the last time he checked…ten minutes ago. You see, we have a rule in the Troupe house: All clothes purchased or donated new or used have to be washed first. Matthew figured out a long time ago as his obsession with clothes and fabric grew into this pajama phase…if you tear up your favorite pair, no problem…there will always be a new pair “magically” being created in the dryer. When returning home from an outing and shedding the mandatory street clothes…check the dryer. Wake up in the morning…check the dryer. Diaper change…check the dryer. So our lives go at home. All the more reason we are so thankful for our new house with main floor laundry.
Of course, we all know pajamas just don’t appear out of nowhere, right? One of us has to always scour garage sales, second-hand and thrift stores to score pajamas (he is especially fond of the footed blanket sleepers). On a side note, big boys are not especially fond of the footed pajamas, hence Matthew is primarily decked out in pink or purple ones adorned with princesses, puppies, hearts or kitty’s. Matthew doesn’t care, he will just accessorize. We have become pros at checking second-hand stores and looking for the tell-tale signs of strollers and play equipment that say: “this garage sale has kids clothes!”.
Silly boy…pajamas do not magically appear in the dryer. Pajamas are a lot of work. Work and effort Matthew will probably never know or understand how much sacrifice and time went into his next pair. Does it really matter though? Are we ever looking for a thank you or recognition? Not us. No recognition required, no thanks needed. We do it out of love and a desire to make Matthew’s life, despite the stares, even though kids may look at him like he is from another planet, even though people point and snicker…we desire to make his life meaningful and happy. Happy to wear blanket sleepers out-of-season…Or even pink ones with kitty’s on them out of the house to begin with.
As I was reflecting on this Magic Dryer post I could not help draw the comparison of our God. He isn’t necessarily looking for thanks or even recognition. He takes care of us even though we may never acknowledge the work and the sacrifice that went into the very breath that He provides for us. Or the price He paid for the sin we are constantly in battle with. He is always at work.
“The call of God in the lives of believers means that God has been at work with them, and the evidences of grace reveal that He is at work in the present…They need to know because so often they’re unaware. Too may Christians are more readily aware of the absence of God than they are of the presence of God, and they are more aware of sin than they are of grace. God is at work…” C.J. Mahaney, Humility: True Greatness
Far too often I am keenly aware of the absence of God. When, all along, he has been hard at work scouring, not for pajamas but scouring my very soul from crimson to white as snow. Working high and low to prepare the way for my every move. Far too often I go to the Magic Dryer of prayer with my list of wants and desires when what I really need to do is thank him for who he is and nothing more. God, you are my provider.
How often do you check the Magic Dryer without a thought or a thank you to the one who provides and is at work even when we think he is absent?
I am writing this post on the eve of a big “complicated” (surgeon’s words) surgery for Isaac. We know all to well how God is our provider and our comforter in these difficult surgeries and procedures. Would you take time to pray for this next surgery? Specifically it is on his stomach. A repeat of one he had about a year and a half ago. We also know of the power of prayer. We have seen the very fingerprints of God when people pray on our behalf. Thank you…you are a vital part of our journey. As always…yes, you may share our prayer requests. It is our joy in life to be able to touch another family who is struggling with raising a special needs child or two or more. We find ministry is being able to share our lives our struggle and our triumphs along the way. Leave a comment below if you wish.
You may share our story, our prayer needs and this blog as you feel led by using the share buttons below. If you would like updates on when new content is added to the blog or to keep up with current prayer requests for the Troupe’s you may subscribe at the top of the right hand column of this blog. Don’t worry about providing your email address…I had enough SPAM growing up…l would never send any unnecessary SPAM your way!
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August 9, 2014
Preparing the way for extraordinary destiny…
Yes, it has been a long time, and yes, I am still blogging! As you know life has a way of getting so busy and out of control. I am hoping I still have your ear and that you are still willing to partner with us as we live out this extraordinary life…I love that phrase. It comes from C.S. Lewis.
“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny” C.S. Lewis
Let’s see, since the last glimpse into our lives we have moved and have been working non-stop to bring our new home into “safe” and “functional” status. We have celebrated Matthew’s 13th and Sarah Anne’s 5th birthdays. We have participated in 2 county fairs (with one more to go). We just finished an illness outbreak in our home with Isaac lingering the longest (with a short hospital stay). We have just sent our two oldest on a 10 day missions trip to Guyana, Central America. And, we have an abundance of appointments/procedures lined up for Isaac and Matthew and a re-surgery of the stomach surgery Isaac had last a year ago in May that did not stay intact and needs to be redone.
Our “sanity wall” dividing each half of the main floor. This wall, complete with numeric keypad helps keep Matthew out if mischief. I was able to match the existing pillars and the back side has cabinets that double as our pantry.
Many of you have been asking and are curious about our move. Here are the details! We are still in Ottawa County, about as Southwest as one can get in the city of Hudsonville, MI. There are far too many things to list and talk about in a short post…but, Theresa uses one word to describe the feeling of our new home…Peace. The safety and function factors we have added to an already great layout are: biometric fingerprint scanners on all exterior doors, keycode locks on many interior doors, double-hung windows that all open at the top, a new “sanity wall” as we call it that separates the main floor in two halves which slows down Matthew’s access to the kitchen, dining room, Isaac’s room and the laundry room. An addition of french doors also keeps Matthew from accessing the foyer which has stairways to the upper and the lower levels. Completing the main floor is a “sleeping room” (a smaller room just for sleeping) for Matthew that is next to a master suite for mom and dad. The master suite allows a little more privacy than before as we go about our day with in-home nursing, caregivers, therapists and more. The upper and lower floors have additional bedrooms for Hannah, Megan, Sarah Anne (still working on that one), a play/therapy room, a craft/sewing room and a cozy hang-out family room. This whole process of looking for a new home, securing it and the actual move has been somewhat of a dream come true. For several years, as Matthew grew older, wiser and more talented at locks, gates and other means of keeping him safe it was apparent that we needed to make some significant changes…either to the existing house or to start looking at different options. Then, along came Isaac! Another “hardship”, although an adorable, sweet one, launched us into another realm of changes needed!
French doors separating the foyer with the two stairs ways that lead to the upper and lower levels. Another piece-of-mind addition that helps keep Matthew out of mischief. I am looking forward to making a stained glass insert for the transom space above the doors…a custom solution to an over-sized opening.
Here is where the rubber meets the road (Caution: vulnerability here…exposing weakness, not for the faint of heart). We were in no financial position to consider a move. We were 3 years into our Dave Ramsey plan of becoming debt free and just being able to keep our head above water and not living paycheck to paycheck. Many of you know that I do carpentry work on the side, at least up until Isaac was born. All of that money went to pay down debt and get us closer to being able to make a move in the direction of a new home. As we were approaching light at the end of the tunnel, along came Isaac. With the combined needs of Matthew and Isaac we faced the reality of needing to make significant upgrades and repairs to current house which would have been nearly impossible to do with Isaac in the house due to his trach (air quality, dust, etc.). Moving out and then making the repairs would have been cost prohibitive…not to mention that we needed a bigger house than the one we had with a workable floor plan…one that would allow for safety and function.
This is where my prayer life was focused when not focused on surgeries, healing, milestones and just plain life in general. Another vulnerability alert here…My prayer was usually filled with doubt. I felt that we were being blessed beyond measure just to sustain us, keeping us strong and healthy and able to face each new challenge. People responded to needs we never expressed…something only God could arrange. How could I possibly ask for more? In my own reasoning I thought I would leave the miracles of healing and a little help here and there with the bills to God…but, the debt thing and the housing thing I was convinced I needed and had to work for and get us out of the financial mess on my own. After all…my mess, my problem. I didn’t feel worthy of an extraordinary destiny.
“The greatest tragedy of life is not unanswered prayer, by unoffered prayer.”
F.B. Meyer
Isaac’s sun-room/bedroom and nurses station. Perfect location right next to the dinning room and kitchen. Isaac is still always right in the middle of the action.
Thankfully there are people who pray on our behalf and a wife that was praying for a solution, with much more expectancy and frequency than I was. With the assistance of two different non-profits we were able to make this move quicker than we ever dreamed possible and easier without having to make needed repairs on our old house. We were also able to make the modifications we needed to bring our new home into a safe and functional state. I am at a loss for words on how God prompts people and people not only listen, but also respond in a way I could ever imagine. What would God have done if I had the faith to actually ask? It is a good thing I am at a loss for words…the two non-profits who assisted us have asked to remain anonymous. A selfless act of love prompted by only God alone because I was too weak and doubtful to ask.
A Prayer for the Ephesians14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
So much to grasp in this prayer from a letter from Paul to the Ephesians. We have personally experienced and are still grasping what how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…we have also been witness to what immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine looks like in real life.
What hardship can you prayerfully hand over? What is your extraordinary destiny? I am learning my destiny is not in the hard work I do and my lame attempts to earn God’s favor. My destiny has everything to do with grasping how wide and long and high and deep is His love for me.
You may share our story, our prayer needs and this blog as you feel led by using the share buttons below. If you would like updates on when new content is added to the blog or to keep up with current prayer requests for the Troupe’s you may subscribe at the top of the right hand column of this blog. Don’t worry about providing your email address…I had enough SPAM growing up…l would never send any unnecessary SPAM your way!
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