Sandy Wright's Blog, page 18
January 13, 2017
Shadow Dance
Our dark side was called our personal "shadow" by Carl Jung. It's everything about ourselves we do not know, or refuse to know: egotism, forbidden sexual desires, violent urges, unpopular proclivities. But it also includes positive, untapped potential, those qualities we admire in others but can't see in ourselves.
The challenge is in accepting ourselves all the way to the bottom, admitting and holding, rather than denying and burying our arrogance, our self-centeredness, our will to coerce others, our shame, and any other dark truths we think we can't face. By hiding objectionable personality traits, we lose the chance to rework and move through them. Befriending the Shadow makes fear an ally. It enables us to live more authentically.
In his book Shadow Dance, David Richo, a psychotherapist, shows how to use active mindfulness to work with our shadow side when it manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, and the world around us.
Richo formerly practiced as a Catholic priest, but I think the "feel" of the book is more mystical. His learning is truly ecumenical--he draws on his readings of the poets, Greek and other mythologies, Hinduism, Zen, and his experience of the Holy Spirit to illuminate the path into the dark parts of our human nature. He sees the shadow as containing great power and beauty, if we can only stop avoiding the teachings contained within it.
The book contains essays which lead you down the path of doing "shadow work," with each essay followed by a section of journal exercises and topics to think about. These "to do" sections help the reader to work with the ideas in the book, rather than just read about them. Not all the exercises will appeal to everyone, but there is such a wide range offered in each section that there is surely something for every reader.
I use this book for a class I teach in Shadow Work, and there are lots of tears in every class. Looking inward and facing personal demons is hard work. If you approach the exercises in the book with honesty, you will be exhausted every session. You will also be enlightened, awakened and liberated.
Does one's shadow work ever end? Should you ever stop questioning your own reasons for behavior—or the motivations and behavior of people around you? Between severing my old coven ties last year, Reclaiming Witchcamp, Samhain, Krampus at Yule, and some deep personal examination of my political and moral beliefs, I lived in Shadow Land for most of 2016. After listening to so many people saying, "F-off and good riddance" to the old year, it appears I was not the only one struggling with the dark side of life, and my own possible contributions.
And, based on my New Year's tarot spread, it looks like Shadow will be coming to visit a few more times in 2017. Thankfully, I now feel I'm ready to embrace my darker shadow side, and her opportunities for growth.
Note: If you start this book and decide it's too much too soon, take a look at Richo's earlier works, such as How to Be an Adult in Relationships.
The challenge is in accepting ourselves all the way to the bottom, admitting and holding, rather than denying and burying our arrogance, our self-centeredness, our will to coerce others, our shame, and any other dark truths we think we can't face. By hiding objectionable personality traits, we lose the chance to rework and move through them. Befriending the Shadow makes fear an ally. It enables us to live more authentically.
In his book Shadow Dance, David Richo, a psychotherapist, shows how to use active mindfulness to work with our shadow side when it manifests in personal life, family interaction, religion, and the world around us.Richo formerly practiced as a Catholic priest, but I think the "feel" of the book is more mystical. His learning is truly ecumenical--he draws on his readings of the poets, Greek and other mythologies, Hinduism, Zen, and his experience of the Holy Spirit to illuminate the path into the dark parts of our human nature. He sees the shadow as containing great power and beauty, if we can only stop avoiding the teachings contained within it.
The book contains essays which lead you down the path of doing "shadow work," with each essay followed by a section of journal exercises and topics to think about. These "to do" sections help the reader to work with the ideas in the book, rather than just read about them. Not all the exercises will appeal to everyone, but there is such a wide range offered in each section that there is surely something for every reader.
I use this book for a class I teach in Shadow Work, and there are lots of tears in every class. Looking inward and facing personal demons is hard work. If you approach the exercises in the book with honesty, you will be exhausted every session. You will also be enlightened, awakened and liberated.
Does one's shadow work ever end? Should you ever stop questioning your own reasons for behavior—or the motivations and behavior of people around you? Between severing my old coven ties last year, Reclaiming Witchcamp, Samhain, Krampus at Yule, and some deep personal examination of my political and moral beliefs, I lived in Shadow Land for most of 2016. After listening to so many people saying, "F-off and good riddance" to the old year, it appears I was not the only one struggling with the dark side of life, and my own possible contributions.
And, based on my New Year's tarot spread, it looks like Shadow will be coming to visit a few more times in 2017. Thankfully, I now feel I'm ready to embrace my darker shadow side, and her opportunities for growth.
Note: If you start this book and decide it's too much too soon, take a look at Richo's earlier works, such as How to Be an Adult in Relationships.
December 18, 2016
The Holly King...and Krampus Too
ONCE UPON a time, when all lies were true…The Oak King and the Holly King were twins. Every year at the Winter and Summer Solstices, the two brothers fought for dominance.
The Holly King ruled the waning, dark part of the year, from Midsummer to Yule. The Oak King ruled the waxing, brightening part of the year, from Yule to Midsummer.
The Holly King represents darkness, decay and destruction. Our earth during winter.
He's often associated with Underworld gods Pluto or Hades, or the Celtic Underworld God Cernunnos. He often appears in red winter clothing, wearing the antlers of a stag, or goat horns, sometimes even with cloven hooves and a beard.
Sometime during the medieval age, his image was merged with the Christian Devil.
In many countries worldwide, the twin figures of the Oak and Holly Kings have remained separate, and it is the Oak King who has been assigned the "Good" role of the rewarder/gift-giver, while the Holly King has been assigned the "Wicked" role of the punisher/depriver.
Or, sometimes that role is assigned to his evil alter-ego, Krampus. Yes, this movie is on my holiday movie short-list for sure!
Here in the US, the modern Santa Claus has become a melting pot of the two pagan Gods. The Oak and Holly kings reunited as one dual-faced entity. For Santa Claus is both the rewarder and the depriver, marking children as naughty or nice. Giving them presents. Or sticks and coal. From house to house he travels in his sleigh, drawn by the beasts sacred to Cernunnos, the stag lord. Eight reindeers pull the sled over rooftops, the number of men required to heft the Daghda's mighty club, and the number of legs boasted by the Scandinavian god Odin's horse, Sleipnir.
And, just as the spirits of the dead were believed to do, Santa enters the houses he visits via their chimneys. The Celts shoved whole tree in the hearth, trunk first, and burned it for several days, to keep the spirits out. We stay up and wait for him, with cookies.
We decorate our homes with the Holly King's evergreens. Fir, spruce, yew, rosemary and holly.
And we trim our evergreen tree in Yule colors: Red for the waning Holly king, Green for the waxing Oak King, and white for the purity and hope of the light reborn.When I first started studying the Wheel of the Year, I found the timing of the Holly and Oak King battles confusing. Each king fights to win back the crown when the other is in his full strength and splendor.
For instance, we have been in the dark, or waning, part of the Wheel of the Year, since the day after Midsummer. At Midsummer, or Litha, the Oak King was slain, put to bed under the earth, and the Holly king began his rule. June 22.
I don't know about you, but living in Arizona…no way do I think about the dark part of the year, or the days getting longer, or the Holly king…. in June.
But if you look at it astrologically, the timing makes sense.
EQUINOX in Latin means Equal Night.
And SOLSTICE comes from the Latin Sol (sun) + Sistere (stop or stand still).
For the three days and nights before and after the solstice, the sun appears to stand still in the sky, to rise and set in the same place. That's because the Earth is tilted on its axis as it rotates around the sun. When the North Pole is tilted as far away from the sun as it ever gets, we are at Winter Solstice. To early astronomers, it appeared that the sun paused, and then changed direction.
Christian scholars don't know when Jesus was actually born. It was a Roman king who decided to proclaim Dec. 25 as the day of Christ's birth. I think he mainly wanted to keep it close to the solstice, an auspicious and important time.
When does your inner clock begin to note the shift from the waxing to the waning year? When do you FEEL the darkness settling onto to land? When do you begin to settle in, to nest? When do you find yourself looking inward more, becoming introspective, and reviewing your year and measuring its worth?
For me, it's somewhere around the end of the school year, right around Mabon.
And then, by Samhain, the dark half of the year is upon me, and the introspection. I love it. Embrace it. Look forward to Yule.
And, then *Poof* … Yule's here, it finally feels like winter in the desert…and it's gone!
…And the wheel turns, and turns once again.
One thing I have learned as a witch, and now a witch approaching her Croneage, is that perspective is everything. Your perspective changes your life. Every–single-thing you do or think, wish for or achieve, is affected by your unique personal perspective.
We have a few days left before the actual solstice.
This coming Wednesday is the winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year.
So starting tonight,
Let's honor the Holly King, who will soon sacrifice himself to nourish our beautiful earth and renew its growth and bounty.
Embrace his energy for these days before he dies, and turns the wheel back to Light,
Let's embrace the darkness. The quiet. The shadow side of our lives.
Let's get introspective. Investigate the darkness, maybe even face down a demon.
November 23, 2016
Flying Far, Landing Near
My twenty-something son is living at home with us again.
Mother's Day before last, I met him and his girlfriend for brunch. He seemed nervous. After we'd ordered, he gave me my card. I thanked them. "Open it," he urged.
Inside was an ultrasound.
I have always hoped that both of sons will, as adults, find loving, positive, supportive partners with whom to share their lives. But holy heck, I still fell off my chair. My son, a junior in college, just told me he was going to be a dad.
I offered them hugs, congratulations and best wishes.
Afterwards, we walked out to our separate cars. I drove home in a daze. On the way, I stopped at a convenience store and bought a Coke and a pack of cigarettes. I'd quit smoking a year before, and drink only coffee and tea since being diagnosed with diabetes six years ago.
Except that week.
I was alone at our cabin that weekend, so I called my three best girlfriends, all of whom have children in their teens or older.
"What do I do now?" I asked. "This is my first grandchild. I should be ecstatic. But my heart is breaking."
That was just over a year and a half ago. It's been a tough go, for all of us, I think. My son's college pursuit just kinda unraveled. So he quit. My husband and I refused to continue paying their apartment rent at school if he was no longer attending classes. They gave notice on their apartment, put most of their belongings in storage, and moved the three hours from their forest college town to our big, busy city in the desert.
She moved with the baby to her parent's home. There was no room there for my son or their two dogs, so he moved back into his old room with us.
They've been living separately for a month and a half now.
His girlfriend says I'm making it easy for him to slack off. She accuses me of being a helicopter parent and orders me not to do his laundry. Says "Make him do chores. Pay rent. Or kick him out. Make him get a job."
Her mother and father tell him he must find full-time work immediately, any kind of work, and start supporting his girlfriend and their year-old son. Her parents want their house back, sans infant, no matter how much they love their daughter and grandson.
I've offered repeatedly to make space for all three of them here. We have extra rooms and would simply have to re-allocate the space, and baby-proof the house, which my husband and I are both willing to do. But how hard does one push when extending an offer that obviously isn't welcomed? So we backed off.
In the midst of this stressful time, I remind myself that this week is the 1-year anniversary of my stroke. Stress. Stroke. Stress. Stroke. No matter the other extraneous circumstances, I know my own brain, my own heart, better than anyone else. I know, beyond any doubt, that for me, stress and stroke were related. To stay healthy, I now consciously manage my stress. You know the saying…."give me the strength to change the things I can, and say 'go to hell' to all the things I can't."
This year, instead of stressing over our current circumstances, I choose to be thankful.
First, I'm thankful that the spawn's dogs bonded with ours. This last month would have been hell if our five pets (we have two cats also) couldn't live together. But our dog, Teak, is overjoyed to be living in a pack. The cats, not so much. But, other than the exponential increase of animal fur in the house, we're getting along great.
Second, OMG!!! I am so, so happy to be alive with my brain mostly intact. I was so lucky. I am thankful for my health every single day now, and will never take it for granted again.
Third and final, I'm thankful that our little family is going to be together for Thanksgiving, for the first time in several years. I'm not only hosting our family, but other close friends, including a couple with month-old twins. We have enough guests to have dinner at home this year, instead of going out to Mimi's Café, as we have done in recent years. Dining out on Thanksgiving, for me, was a substitute for the festivities lacking at home on this holiday. So this year, I am thankful that we are celebrating as a family. Dysfunctional perhaps. But together.
Spending an afternoon eating and laughing, hugging babies and changing diapers. Walking the pack of dogs that are part of our temporarily blended family. Complaining about eating too much, and dividing up the leftovers so everyone goes home with a sack. This is fun. It's fulfilling. It's love.
But if this one afternoon stretches into weeks, does the togetherness, support, and sharing equate to helicoptering? Will our son be able to strike out on his own, or have we spoiled him to the point that he'll never want to be independent?
University of Texas psychologist Karen Fingerman, having conducted a number of studies on adult parent-child relationships, published a study with several collaborators (2012) in the well-respected Journal of Marriage and the Family to put the helicopter theory to the test.
The research team theorized that many young adult children today need their parents to help them through the so-called “emerging adult” years between 18 and 29. Not only are many young adults finding it difficult to make it economically, but they may also be experiencing emotional strains of finding their identities. They don’t necessarily expect their parents to support them, but they’re finding it rough to make it on their own.
Parents, for their part, sensing that their children are hurting, often want to reach out and provide them with emotional, if not practical, support.
But instead of feeling smothered, the children receiving help were higher in life satisfaction and, surprisingly, strength of their own personal goals. It is possible that the reason they found this support so helpful was that they were in a life stage when the continued help of their parents could ease their adjustment into adulthood
The hard part, of course, is how to separate from our children's problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own.
And that's what I'm doing—getting on with my own life, while making room in my heart for those I love. Loving unconditionally. Remaining openhearted to my children and their partners, estranged or not, difficult as it is. Inviting contact, expressing love, with no expectation or insistences.
For now, we'll leave the porch light on with a key under the mat.
You will always be welcome.
Mother's Day before last, I met him and his girlfriend for brunch. He seemed nervous. After we'd ordered, he gave me my card. I thanked them. "Open it," he urged.
Inside was an ultrasound.
I have always hoped that both of sons will, as adults, find loving, positive, supportive partners with whom to share their lives. But holy heck, I still fell off my chair. My son, a junior in college, just told me he was going to be a dad.
I offered them hugs, congratulations and best wishes.Afterwards, we walked out to our separate cars. I drove home in a daze. On the way, I stopped at a convenience store and bought a Coke and a pack of cigarettes. I'd quit smoking a year before, and drink only coffee and tea since being diagnosed with diabetes six years ago.
Except that week.
I was alone at our cabin that weekend, so I called my three best girlfriends, all of whom have children in their teens or older.
"What do I do now?" I asked. "This is my first grandchild. I should be ecstatic. But my heart is breaking."
That was just over a year and a half ago. It's been a tough go, for all of us, I think. My son's college pursuit just kinda unraveled. So he quit. My husband and I refused to continue paying their apartment rent at school if he was no longer attending classes. They gave notice on their apartment, put most of their belongings in storage, and moved the three hours from their forest college town to our big, busy city in the desert.
She moved with the baby to her parent's home. There was no room there for my son or their two dogs, so he moved back into his old room with us.
They've been living separately for a month and a half now.
His girlfriend says I'm making it easy for him to slack off. She accuses me of being a helicopter parent and orders me not to do his laundry. Says "Make him do chores. Pay rent. Or kick him out. Make him get a job."
Her mother and father tell him he must find full-time work immediately, any kind of work, and start supporting his girlfriend and their year-old son. Her parents want their house back, sans infant, no matter how much they love their daughter and grandson.
I've offered repeatedly to make space for all three of them here. We have extra rooms and would simply have to re-allocate the space, and baby-proof the house, which my husband and I are both willing to do. But how hard does one push when extending an offer that obviously isn't welcomed? So we backed off.
In the midst of this stressful time, I remind myself that this week is the 1-year anniversary of my stroke. Stress. Stroke. Stress. Stroke. No matter the other extraneous circumstances, I know my own brain, my own heart, better than anyone else. I know, beyond any doubt, that for me, stress and stroke were related. To stay healthy, I now consciously manage my stress. You know the saying…."give me the strength to change the things I can, and say 'go to hell' to all the things I can't."
This year, instead of stressing over our current circumstances, I choose to be thankful.
First, I'm thankful that the spawn's dogs bonded with ours. This last month would have been hell if our five pets (we have two cats also) couldn't live together. But our dog, Teak, is overjoyed to be living in a pack. The cats, not so much. But, other than the exponential increase of animal fur in the house, we're getting along great.
Second, OMG!!! I am so, so happy to be alive with my brain mostly intact. I was so lucky. I am thankful for my health every single day now, and will never take it for granted again.
Third and final, I'm thankful that our little family is going to be together for Thanksgiving, for the first time in several years. I'm not only hosting our family, but other close friends, including a couple with month-old twins. We have enough guests to have dinner at home this year, instead of going out to Mimi's Café, as we have done in recent years. Dining out on Thanksgiving, for me, was a substitute for the festivities lacking at home on this holiday. So this year, I am thankful that we are celebrating as a family. Dysfunctional perhaps. But together.
Spending an afternoon eating and laughing, hugging babies and changing diapers. Walking the pack of dogs that are part of our temporarily blended family. Complaining about eating too much, and dividing up the leftovers so everyone goes home with a sack. This is fun. It's fulfilling. It's love.
But if this one afternoon stretches into weeks, does the togetherness, support, and sharing equate to helicoptering? Will our son be able to strike out on his own, or have we spoiled him to the point that he'll never want to be independent?
University of Texas psychologist Karen Fingerman, having conducted a number of studies on adult parent-child relationships, published a study with several collaborators (2012) in the well-respected Journal of Marriage and the Family to put the helicopter theory to the test.
The research team theorized that many young adult children today need their parents to help them through the so-called “emerging adult” years between 18 and 29. Not only are many young adults finding it difficult to make it economically, but they may also be experiencing emotional strains of finding their identities. They don’t necessarily expect their parents to support them, but they’re finding it rough to make it on their own.
Parents, for their part, sensing that their children are hurting, often want to reach out and provide them with emotional, if not practical, support.
But instead of feeling smothered, the children receiving help were higher in life satisfaction and, surprisingly, strength of their own personal goals. It is possible that the reason they found this support so helpful was that they were in a life stage when the continued help of their parents could ease their adjustment into adulthood
The hard part, of course, is how to separate from our children's problems without separating from them, and how to be a positive force in their lives while getting on with our own.
And that's what I'm doing—getting on with my own life, while making room in my heart for those I love. Loving unconditionally. Remaining openhearted to my children and their partners, estranged or not, difficult as it is. Inviting contact, expressing love, with no expectation or insistences.
For now, we'll leave the porch light on with a key under the mat.
You will always be welcome.
November 17, 2016
Trump, The Wall, and My Next Book
I didn't vote for Donald Trump.But I do owe him a big "thank you" for making the major theme of my upcoming novel, illegal immigration, front page news.
I live in Arizona, so undocumented border crossers have been in the local news on and off for years.
Now, thanks to Trump's signature campaign promise that Mexican border wall is on everyone's mind. "We will build a great wall along the southern border," he said. "Mexico will pay for it. One hundred percent. They don't know it yet, but they're going to pay for it."
Do you believe him?
Newt Gingrich, a former U.S. House speaker, recently said Trump's demand that Mexico pay for the wall was "a great campaign device" that might not be practical in reality.
Ya think?
But THE WALL is Trump's signature promise. It's unlikely he can avoid political blowback if he back-pedals and claims his repeated call for the 1,984-mile border wall was simply a metaphor. People expect some follow-through.
Granted, parts of a wall already exist. The barrier is not one continuous structure, but a grouping of relatively short physical walls, secured in between with "virtual fence" which includes a system of sensors and cameras monitored by the U.S. Border Patrol. As of 2009, U.S. Customs and Border Protection reported it had about 580 miles of barriers in place.Cost of the existing border fencing is said to be roughly a million dollars per mile.
Only 1,404 miles to go, Donald.
I'm sure even Trump knows, as President, he can't just order things done. The border project is not like building a new hotel. It involves multiple states, a myriad of different jurisdictions, including state, federal, tribal and private lands. Environmental impacts. Water rights treaties. Oh, and in some places, especially Texas, the terrain is so rugged it can only be covered on horseback. Infrastructure for access to the area will have to be built before wall construction crews can get there. Just to get the cement and rebar to build the roads in west Texas could cost billions.
Ironically, because of potential rights issues, some of the United States could actually end up on the opposite side of the wall.
I say we should forget about the damn wall issue, and look deeper into what's broken in our current immigration and deportation process.
In another of Trump's other "First 100-Day" promises, he vowed to create a deportation force to go after the nations estimated 11 million undocumented immigrants.
At his immigration speech in Phoenix on Aug. 31, Trump said he would begin by deporting the more than two million "criminal aliens" inside the country. "Day One, my first hour in office, those people are gone. And you can call it deported if you want," Trump said.
I'm not sure what source he used for his "more than two million criminal aliens" reference, I couldn't find it. Quite possibly his researchers are better than I am.
But regardless, we already have an agency responsible for arresting and deporting undocumented immigrants, and even legal immigrants who commit serious crimes. That agency is called ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement).
While you may not have run into them personally, ICE is big. Part of the Department of Homeland Security (created after the 9/11 attacks), the ICE office represents the second largest law enforcement organization in the US. Only the FBI is bigger.
ICE enforces both immigration and customs laws, which involves going after illegal immigrants in US territory, employers who hire illegal immigrants and those trying to smuggle goods or contraband into the country.Since 2014, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Jeb Johnson has directed ICE to place its highest priority on removing immigrants who pose threats to national security, border security and national safety. In other words, immigrants engaged in terrorist activities those caught trying to enter the country illegally, and those convicted of felonies and aggravated felonies.
And this is where things get sticky.
Experts estimate that about 60 percent of the approximately 11.7 million illegal aliens who are residing here original entered the country by illegally crossing a land border. That includes air and water crossings as well. The other 40 percent were admitted through an official port of entry and overstayed their visa or authorized admission.
So I understand the ranting about building a wall and closing off the border.
But illegals don't stay in the border region, especially those with criminal intent. They disperse throughout the nation. According to the Center for Immigration Studies, the ICE field offices with the highest convicted criminal arrests (in 2013, the most recent year released) were, (in order) San Antonio, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Dallas, Atlanta, Houston, Chicago, Miami, New Orleans, and Phoenix.
I think President Trump will face of choice on how to use his existing resources.
He can divert his manpower to building a border wall to keep new immigrants from the South from crossing our border.
Or, he can order ICE to deport the more than 872,000 aliens who have already been ordered to be removed, but who are still living here in defiance of our laws. These are post-final-order cases. They have been accorded due process, exhausted appeals, and received a final order of removal, but who remain here in defiance of that order. A small percentage cannot be removed, either because their home country won't take them back, or because the government is insufficiently organized to issue travel documents. But the majority have simply absconded, skipped out on hearings, and continue to live here illegally. This number grew by more than 1500,000 from 2012-2013.
Personally, I prefer the second approach.
But our man has a massive ego, and he made big, loud promises. So get out your pocketbooks America, if he chooses THE WALL. No matter what he boasts, there is no way out poor Mexican neighbor can foot that billion-and-a-half dollar bill.
I'm sure our new president will raise hackles and spark riots no matter what he decides.And I can't wait to write it into my novel.
What do you think he'll do?
November 11, 2016
How I Won NaNoWriMo
National Novel Writing Month.If you're a working author, you either embrace the phenomenon, and let it sweep you to bigger word counts on Thanksgiving. Or, you sneer at the amateurs and scoff at their absurd and unrealistic hope to write a novel in one month.
I'm an embracer.
Seven years ago, I eagerly signed up for my first NaNo contest. I retired that year and took a couple of online novel writing classes, so I was ready to jump into my third career. I had the first half of a detailed story outline finished by October and thought I was going to write the Great American…well, you know.
I got through 22,000 words that year before I ran out of outline--and ideas.
If you've never written a book, that's about 90 pages. Not bad for a month, actually, but I wasn't going to make the 50,000-word magic number needed to get the "Winner!" on my page.
Discouraged, I didn't finish the last week of the event. Ninety pages in in the first twenty days of November days wore me out, especially the last week, when my family began to grumble about dust on the furniture and ask, "what about Thanksgiving, and Black Friday sales?"
But the next year, undaunted, I signed up again. The challenge was addicting. But my youngest son had just gone off to college, and then the oldest one decided to get married out of state on New Year's Eve. And my elderly father needed attention. And…well, you know.
I only wrote 7,000 words year two before I quit.
But during those two years, I edited and polished the 22,000 words I had, and added another 20,000 thousand more. I'd written and polished enough, in fact, that I started entering writing contests, and got enough positive feedback to feel encouraged to keep writing on it.
The summer of the third year, my budding book, Song of the Ancients, won first place in the prestigious Pacific Northwest Writers Conference. I attended the conference in Seattle, pitched my book to agents and editors in attendance, and got a request for a full manuscript. "Is it done?" The agent asked. "Sure is, just over ninety-five thousand words," I lied.
That fall is when I learned what it's really like to be an author.
I came home from Seattle that July in a panic. I had just committed to send a full manuscript to an agent, when in reality it was barely half-finished. I wrung my hands. I cried. I berated myself for not telling the truth. For one day, while I unpacked.
Then I went into my office and started writing. I mean, really writing. I wrote all morning, took a break to eat and shower, then wrote again. Some nights, when the words flowed, I'd write until 3:00am. Then I'd get up in the morning, spend an hour with the family, do the breakfast dishes and a load of laundry, and start again.
I wrote the second half of the book, a little over 50,000 words, in four weeks.
And that, folks, is the same thing people commit to do each year for NaNo.
Granted, you don't have to turn your NaNo manuscript in to an agent or editor. In fact, please don't. Editors and agents cringe at the increase of manuscripts they experience after NaNo ends.
There's a strong chance none of those manuscripts are not ready for publication. In fact, mine wasn't either, and the agent rejected it. But, instead of a simple "not for me" letter, she made enough comments that I decided to send my book to a professional content editor, The Word Doctor.
Armed with his 40-pages of content comments (yes, he gave me a lot of feedback. He suggested some major POV consolidation, pointed out places where the action sagged, some passive voice, and, most importantly, showed me the places where he "was tempted to skim.") I was positively rearing to get to re-writes during NaNo Year Three.
But…according to Nano's website, you aren't supposed to do that. You're supposed to start fresh on a brand-new story for your thirty days of literary abandon, not work on an existing piece.
Screw that! I had a novel I had sweated over for three years, on the brink of becoming something publishable. I wasn't about to switch storylines in mid-stream.
Note: Even though the NaNo mods tell us to play by the rules, they also say that the main objective of NaNo is to encourage people to follow their dream and write. They shake their finger at you with one hand, and nod their blessing with the other. It's a game, for heaven's sake.
So I rode the Nano wave of enthusiasm and re-wrote all November. It was glorious. I knew in my bones the book was improving. I also realized during re-writes, that my antagonist was all wrong, and completely revised him as well.
I only counted brand-new passages in my word count that year, so I didn't come anywhere close to the 50,000 goal. I just wrote. Tightened. Re-read and wrote more. Continued through December and January and February.
By March, the book was ready.
I contracted Kim Killion at Hot Damn Designs, and she concocted this beautiful cover.
Song of the Ancients published in May 2015.So, yes, I embrace the National Novel Writing month experience. It worked for me.
I encourage you to do the same. When it seems like life is piling obstacles in front of your Nano goal, put your head down and power through anyway. And, never, never stop writing when the contest ends, just set new goals.
FINAL NOTE:
Five months after Song of the Ancients was published, I suffered a stroke in my left frontal lobe, the part of the brain that controls speech, creative thinking, and all the functions grouped under the category of "higher level cognitive reasoning."
In the hospital I showed the neurologist my book. "I don't know what I'll do if I can't read or write," I told him. "It's such a big part of my life and who I am."
He told me that might be exactly what would save me. "A non-writer might be using this much..." He held his palms apart six inches..."for vocabulary and creative thought. But you use this much." He extended his palms another ten inches.
First, I will always love that doctor. I thought about his words often during my six months of recovery and therapy. By Valentine's Day I was writing emails. By March I could compose a blog, re-learn my passwords, and figure out how to post the damn thing. (although, to be honest, I can't blame all of my technology fumbling on the stroke).
For the last five months I've been back to work on my next novel (working title is Crescent Moon Crossing), and once again, I'm participating in NaNoWriMo as extra incentive to get it finished. I've given myself a goal of December 27 for a completed first draft.
I would love to have you join me on my noveling journey this year.
I'm posting excerpts from the novel-in-progress on this website under Tuesday Teasers.
And FRIEND ME on NaNo also, and we can support each other!
My NaNo name is SINAZ.
Happy writing!
October 31, 2016
Drunken Pumpkin Party Punch
Whether you celebrate Halloween or Samhain tonight, here's a fun cocktail for your witching hour…and a perfect use for that pumpkin you didn't have time to decorate!The Drunken Pumpkin
1 pumpkin
Apple cider
Cranberry juice
Ginger ale
Pumpkin pie spice
1 cinnamon stick
Slice off the top of the pumpkin, scoop out seeds and clean as thoroughly as possible.
Pour equal amounts of cider, cranberry juice, ginger ale and rum into the pumpkin until full.
Pour liquids back out of pumpkin and into a sauce pan with cinnamon stick and sprinkle of spice.
Warm until just boiling.
Refill the pumpkin with liquids and serve immediately.
Have a great night!
October 28, 2016
Witch's Dumb Supper
Part of many witch's observance of Samhain is the Dumb Supper. The Dumb Supper is a feast held in silence…with settings laid for the beloved dead. It is held in silence in respect for them. They cannot speak, but they will communicate with you easier if your mind and heart is open. That is easier if you are not thinking about what to say, and the better to remember those who are gone.During the waning half of the year, we encounter the energy of sacrifice, of the descent into the Underworld for the winter months. The last of the three harvests, Samhain represents the sacrifice of life that leads to life again. We let go of the old, sacrifice old patterns and habits, and then fill the void with new, positive aspects.
Now, during the final waning of the old year, we seek out our ancestors, to acknowledge their positive influences on our life, as well as to right any wrongs or misunderstandings, so those departed souls may complete their journey to the Otherworld unfettered.
You can host your own Dumb Supper and make it as simple or as elaborate as you like. The one described below can be used for a small or large group, the only restriction being how many people you can seat at your table.
Ask your guests to write a note containing a message to their ancestors.The food you serve is personal choice. I like to ask people to bring a pot luck dish that is an old family recipe, or if their family traditions do not include well-loved dishes, to remember that Samhain is all about the vegetables of the second fall harvest: pumpkins, gingerbread, winter squash, corn, nuts, mulled cider or wine.
Traditionally, the Dumb Supper décor is black—black tablecloth, black plates, cups and so forth. I divide my feast table in two, one half black for the ancestors, the other half white for the living. On the dark side, place a black votive candle on the plate at each empty chair. Have a bunch of extra black votives available, for any guests who wish to honor more than one ancestor. In addition to the Ancestor votives, I try to light the entire dining area with oil lanterns and candles.
The last item you will need is a Spirit chair, situated at the head of the table. Put an orange or white pillar candle on the Spirit chair plate, and place a small cauldron or some other fireproof container on the table next to the candle.
On the big night, prepare everything before your guests arrive. Since the dinner itself will be conducted in complete silence, you will need to have everything on the table buffet-style ahead of time. Shroud your Spirit chair, and place all of the food serving dishes in front of Spirit. Put the cauldron or ashes container on a small table away from the food, along with a lit white pillar candle. Cleanse and consecrate the dining area and cast a sacred circle around it, in any way you are comfortable with. I normally use a white sage bundle, running it above the table while saying, "I consecrate this sacred space. May only good enter herein. Spirits, please be with us, so we may honor you tonight."
If you like, you can also provide a way for your guests to cleanse themselves as they enter the dining area. You can use the sage bundle, or make a bowl of blessed water by combining purified water, three drops of lavender essential oil, then drop in a small crystal or amethyst into the bowl. As each guest enters the dining area, he or she should go to the Spirit chair, touch it and say a silent simple prayer. Then they light their remembrance votives and place them on a black plate of their choosing, and slip their note under the plate.
Your guests should enter the dining area and be seated from oldest to youngest, with the two eldest members sitting on each side of the Spirit chair. The host will begin the feast by serving the living guests from oldest to youngest. Before eating, take a moment and remember the Ancestors who have passed before you, and thank them for the positive effects they have had on your life.
After everyone has finished eating, join hands, silently asking for the blessings of Spirit on the living and the dead. As guests exit, one by one, they retrieve their note, light it with the candle flame, and burn it in the ashes dish.
After the host thanks Spirit, the guests may return to the table to share any impression they received during the feast. The table is cleared except for candles and your scrying tools: Tarot cards, runes, pendulum etc. Use your remaining time for divination by candlelight. When all guests have departed, snuff the candles and throw the candle ends and prayer ashes into a moving body of water, or bury them off the property.
October 21, 2016
Magickal Samhain online takeover is October 28 4:30-6:00 pm (PST)
I do quite a few online promotion parties, but I'm especially excited about this one. First it's so well run and organized. Second, it features my kind of paranormal - witches, ghosts, demons and fairies--as well as all kinds of Halloween and Samhain lore. And third, it includes 30 fantastic authors!The event runs for four days next week, Thursday - Sunday. Authors participating are posting EVERY DAY this month, so hop over and enjoy the scariness and fun any time. But be sure to visit the event site during MY takeover time is Friday evening from 4:30-6:00 Pacific time.
If there are any online games you especially enjoy, leave me a blog reply here, and I'll do my best to include your requests. I will be posting a couple of Samhain-related excerpts from from my book, as well as details about the next two books in the series.
And I'll be doing "give-aways" also. I have some really nice bookmarks and wine charms, and of course, free ebooks and one print book. I think I'll also give away a couple of LOVE SPELL kits and maybe some TAROT READINGS during my hour. There will also be some trivia and games, silly Halloween pictures to caption.
Please come by, say "hello" and join in the fun!
October 14, 2016
Catch the Spirit: My favorite Samhain activities
Samhain. It’s my favorite, whether the witchy Sabbat, or the mundane Halloween party. Seeing the orange and black Spirit stores pop up overnight in the strip malls brings a maniacal smile to my face. Yes, it’s true that Halloween’s a monster of an industry. But it’s more than that. It’s magic in the truest sense. A time when all bets are off, and we can act out, children and adults, without restraint or fear of judgment. We can part the veil and talk (yes talk!) With our dearly departed, and there's a good chance they'll answer.
This holiday is the dark aesthetic blended with romance, myth, and rebellion. When the leaves change and the evenings go chilly, I’m transported back to running the neighborhood with my pals in Zorro capes, witch’s hats, and black cat costumes complete with swishing tail. I recall a knot of children screaming on a front porch when the homeowner, a normally mild-mannered adult, opens the door in full wolf’s garb and growls, “Do you dare ask for candy?”
On this one extraordinary night, we willingly run into the dark rather than away from it. We grope in the pitch black field of cornstalks, brittle and bleached white like bones in the light of a crescent moon. We pay to scream with strangers in dark haunted houses, stuffy with billowing fog.
Wait! Listen: I think I hear something scratching outside. Halloween waits. Let’s have some fun. You coming?
#1 Zombie Walk. Unearth your inner ghoul. An evening of bloody good times, Zombie Walks have risen in nearly every major metro area from Toronto to Tampa. There’s even a Route 66 Zombie Crawl in Galena, KS, population 3,000. Many of the walks are family affairs with special activities for kids, even pets. Non-zombies are also invited to attend. After all, you can't have a proper zombie apocalypse without victims. Don't know how to become a zombie? No problem. There are often makeup artists on hand at the event to make you look appropriately rotted. Or find instructions for your look online. Then claw your way out of the grave and stagger out to join me.
#2 Witch’s Ball. Granted, Salem and New Orleans hold the granddaddies of these fetes, but witch’s balls have sprung up everywhere. Be warned though, you may not find an announcement in your local paper. I googled ‘witch’s ball’, ‘Halloween ball’ and ‘All Hallows masquerade’ for Phoenix and found a plethora of costume parties to choose from. Pick one that features not just costumes, but a psychic fair, dumb supper (see #4 below), or an Underworld journey to visit the dead, so you can experience the full flavor of the event.
#3 Ghost Hunting. Many towns have places reputed to be haunted. Sign up for a tour and try your hand at paranormal investigation. The tours often provide you with detection equipment, and bring your digital camera to capture orbs, shadows, apparitions and other phenomena. 
#4 Hold a Dumb Supper. I follow this ancient tradition with my family every Hallows Eve, to commune with the souls of our loved ones on the other side of the veil. Transform your covered patio. Divide a long table in half with black material hung from the ceiling, to designate one side for the living and one half for the spirits. Put pictures and mementos of your loved ones on the spirit side, along with offerings of their favorite foods. The meal is conducted in silence, so we can concentrate on opening our heart and soul to those who may cross over and visit. Serve the meal course backwards, including the placement of everything down to the silverware, as a means of weaving your earth-bound participants down into the Shadow World of the spirits. Have a pencil and paper ready to do automatic writing and capture any messages from the beyond.
#5 Throw a Tarot Spread. Samhain, the witch’s version of Halloween, is also considered the perfect time for divination. Here’s a fun reading called “Haunted House.” In dreams, a house often represents you, the chambers and passages symbolizing your own inner dwelling place. So light your candle, open your mind’s creaky door, and peer into the darkened corner of your own Halloween haunted house!
Shuffle your favorite tarot deck in your usual way. Lay out seven cards as follows:
1. The Forbidding Foyer:
What has been trying to enter your life (for good or ill) that you have been warding off?
2. The Perilous Parlor:
What aspect of yourself do you need to spend more time getting to know?
3. The Lurid Library:
What lore or study is calling to expand your esoteric knowledge?
4. The Atrocious Attic:
What neglected treasure should you dust off and use now?
5. The Chilling Cellar:
What should be stored away and allowed to ripen for future use?
6. The Ghastly Garden: What needs to be weeded out?
7. The Twisted Oak Tree: What needs to sink roots and deepen?
Now, draw one more card for a message from an otherworldly visitor to your Haunted House. Boo!
#6 Visit a Corn Maze. The corn maze is the epitome of Samhain, the last harvest season. They have become popular tourist attractions and a way for farms to create additional income. Many are based on artistic designs such as movie characters or current events, and some are even created to tell stories or to portray a particular theme. Most have a path, which goes all around the whole pattern, either to end in the middle or to come back out again. In Arizona, my annual go-to spot is the 10-acre maze at Schnepf Farms. Last year, my son resorted to GPS on his phone to get us out. If you’d like a real challenge, go on Oct. 16 and navigate by full moon instead of flashlights. Or combine the maze with a really scary haunted house. 
#7 Corpses for Sale. A full-size corpse, nicely decaying head, moveable extremities. Blue eyes. No, brown. Or maybe empty sockets. Every year, www.corpsesforsale.com packs a dozen or so of them on trucks for delivery to film makers, collectors and the odd person who wants to drive around with one in the passenger seat of the car. Since 1991, creator and proprietor Jaime Di Stefano has crafted unlife-like corpses from chicken wire, wood, latex and cotton. Of course, he thinks of them as art projects, not stiffs. Don’t you want one?
#8 Give More than Candy. Do something extra for trick or treaters. Over the years, I’ve set up a Severus Snape Potions Lab in our garage, complete with Veritaserum (hot cider in a carafe surrounded by fog). The whole family has dressed up and posed in the front-yard cemetery, rising up to greet trick or treaters as they come up the driveway. I’ve done tarot card readings at the local Halloween carnival; thrown chicken bones for divination around a neighborhood fire pit after we put the kids to bed; read palms by candlelight. You have a latent talent buried within. Unearth it this Halloween.
9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard.
9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard. For instructions, see the easy step-by-step instructions in this book.
10. Practice Psychometry This is the ability to sense or “read” the history of an object by touching it. Impressions may be images, sounds, smells, tastes, even emotions. A practiced psychometrist can hold an object—an antique glove, for example-- and be able to tell something about the history of that glove, what the owner was like, what they did and even how they died.
Perhaps most importantly, the psychic can sense how the person felt - the emotions of the person at a particular time. Emotions especially, it seems, are most strongly "recorded" in the object.
Don’t believe me? Try it at your Halloween party. Have each guest bring one or two items that have a strong history and sentimental value. Take turns exchanging tokens. Hold one in your hand and relax. Share the impressions you get, and let the owner tell you how close your information was at the end. If you’re having trouble picking up information, silently ask yourself questions to help trigger information such as, “how many owners has this object had?” “Where was this object purchased?” “Was it given as a gift?” “Did a male or female give you this object?” And so on. You may be surprised at the accuracy.
11. Make a Will. If you don’t have a will or living trust, do one this month. Why is this activity in my list? Our society spends most of its time trying not to think about death. Samhain, on the other hand, celebrates death. It fills our imaginations like no other day. Take advantage of that openness. Get it done. Then make a point to review and update if needed on future Samhains.
This holiday is the dark aesthetic blended with romance, myth, and rebellion. When the leaves change and the evenings go chilly, I’m transported back to running the neighborhood with my pals in Zorro capes, witch’s hats, and black cat costumes complete with swishing tail. I recall a knot of children screaming on a front porch when the homeowner, a normally mild-mannered adult, opens the door in full wolf’s garb and growls, “Do you dare ask for candy?”
On this one extraordinary night, we willingly run into the dark rather than away from it. We grope in the pitch black field of cornstalks, brittle and bleached white like bones in the light of a crescent moon. We pay to scream with strangers in dark haunted houses, stuffy with billowing fog.
Wait! Listen: I think I hear something scratching outside. Halloween waits. Let’s have some fun. You coming?
#1 Zombie Walk. Unearth your inner ghoul. An evening of bloody good times, Zombie Walks have risen in nearly every major metro area from Toronto to Tampa. There’s even a Route 66 Zombie Crawl in Galena, KS, population 3,000. Many of the walks are family affairs with special activities for kids, even pets. Non-zombies are also invited to attend. After all, you can't have a proper zombie apocalypse without victims. Don't know how to become a zombie? No problem. There are often makeup artists on hand at the event to make you look appropriately rotted. Or find instructions for your look online. Then claw your way out of the grave and stagger out to join me. #2 Witch’s Ball. Granted, Salem and New Orleans hold the granddaddies of these fetes, but witch’s balls have sprung up everywhere. Be warned though, you may not find an announcement in your local paper. I googled ‘witch’s ball’, ‘Halloween ball’ and ‘All Hallows masquerade’ for Phoenix and found a plethora of costume parties to choose from. Pick one that features not just costumes, but a psychic fair, dumb supper (see #4 below), or an Underworld journey to visit the dead, so you can experience the full flavor of the event.
#3 Ghost Hunting. Many towns have places reputed to be haunted. Sign up for a tour and try your hand at paranormal investigation. The tours often provide you with detection equipment, and bring your digital camera to capture orbs, shadows, apparitions and other phenomena. #4 Hold a Dumb Supper. I follow this ancient tradition with my family every Hallows Eve, to commune with the souls of our loved ones on the other side of the veil. Transform your covered patio. Divide a long table in half with black material hung from the ceiling, to designate one side for the living and one half for the spirits. Put pictures and mementos of your loved ones on the spirit side, along with offerings of their favorite foods. The meal is conducted in silence, so we can concentrate on opening our heart and soul to those who may cross over and visit. Serve the meal course backwards, including the placement of everything down to the silverware, as a means of weaving your earth-bound participants down into the Shadow World of the spirits. Have a pencil and paper ready to do automatic writing and capture any messages from the beyond.#5 Throw a Tarot Spread. Samhain, the witch’s version of Halloween, is also considered the perfect time for divination. Here’s a fun reading called “Haunted House.” In dreams, a house often represents you, the chambers and passages symbolizing your own inner dwelling place. So light your candle, open your mind’s creaky door, and peer into the darkened corner of your own Halloween haunted house!
Shuffle your favorite tarot deck in your usual way. Lay out seven cards as follows:
1. The Forbidding Foyer:What has been trying to enter your life (for good or ill) that you have been warding off?
2. The Perilous Parlor:
What aspect of yourself do you need to spend more time getting to know?
3. The Lurid Library:
What lore or study is calling to expand your esoteric knowledge?
4. The Atrocious Attic:
What neglected treasure should you dust off and use now?
5. The Chilling Cellar:
What should be stored away and allowed to ripen for future use?
6. The Ghastly Garden: What needs to be weeded out?
7. The Twisted Oak Tree: What needs to sink roots and deepen?
Now, draw one more card for a message from an otherworldly visitor to your Haunted House. Boo!
#6 Visit a Corn Maze. The corn maze is the epitome of Samhain, the last harvest season. They have become popular tourist attractions and a way for farms to create additional income. Many are based on artistic designs such as movie characters or current events, and some are even created to tell stories or to portray a particular theme. Most have a path, which goes all around the whole pattern, either to end in the middle or to come back out again. In Arizona, my annual go-to spot is the 10-acre maze at Schnepf Farms. Last year, my son resorted to GPS on his phone to get us out. If you’d like a real challenge, go on Oct. 16 and navigate by full moon instead of flashlights. Or combine the maze with a really scary haunted house. #7 Corpses for Sale. A full-size corpse, nicely decaying head, moveable extremities. Blue eyes. No, brown. Or maybe empty sockets. Every year, www.corpsesforsale.com packs a dozen or so of them on trucks for delivery to film makers, collectors and the odd person who wants to drive around with one in the passenger seat of the car. Since 1991, creator and proprietor Jaime Di Stefano has crafted unlife-like corpses from chicken wire, wood, latex and cotton. Of course, he thinks of them as art projects, not stiffs. Don’t you want one?
#8 Give More than Candy. Do something extra for trick or treaters. Over the years, I’ve set up a Severus Snape Potions Lab in our garage, complete with Veritaserum (hot cider in a carafe surrounded by fog). The whole family has dressed up and posed in the front-yard cemetery, rising up to greet trick or treaters as they come up the driveway. I’ve done tarot card readings at the local Halloween carnival; thrown chicken bones for divination around a neighborhood fire pit after we put the kids to bed; read palms by candlelight. You have a latent talent buried within. Unearth it this Halloween. 9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard.
9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard. For instructions, see the easy step-by-step instructions in this book.10. Practice Psychometry This is the ability to sense or “read” the history of an object by touching it. Impressions may be images, sounds, smells, tastes, even emotions. A practiced psychometrist can hold an object—an antique glove, for example-- and be able to tell something about the history of that glove, what the owner was like, what they did and even how they died.
Perhaps most importantly, the psychic can sense how the person felt - the emotions of the person at a particular time. Emotions especially, it seems, are most strongly "recorded" in the object.Don’t believe me? Try it at your Halloween party. Have each guest bring one or two items that have a strong history and sentimental value. Take turns exchanging tokens. Hold one in your hand and relax. Share the impressions you get, and let the owner tell you how close your information was at the end. If you’re having trouble picking up information, silently ask yourself questions to help trigger information such as, “how many owners has this object had?” “Where was this object purchased?” “Was it given as a gift?” “Did a male or female give you this object?” And so on. You may be surprised at the accuracy.
11. Make a Will. If you don’t have a will or living trust, do one this month. Why is this activity in my list? Our society spends most of its time trying not to think about death. Samhain, on the other hand, celebrates death. It fills our imaginations like no other day. Take advantage of that openness. Get it done. Then make a point to review and update if needed on future Samhains.Catch the Spirit
Samhain. It’s my favorite, whether the witchy Sabbat, or the mundane Halloween party. Seeing the orange and black Spirit stores pop up overnight in the strip malls brings a maniacal smile to my face. Yes, it’s true that Halloween’s a monster of an industry. But it’s more than that. It’s magic in the truest sense. A time when all bets are off, and we can act out, children and adults, without restraint or fear of judgment. We can part the veil and talk (yes talk!) With our dearly departed, and there's a good chance they'll answer.
This holiday is the dark aesthetic blended with romance, myth, and rebellion. When the leaves change and the evenings go chilly, I’m transported back to running the neighborhood with my pals in Zorro capes, witch’s hats, and black cat costumes complete with swishing tail. I recall a knot of children screaming on a front porch when the homeowner, a normally mild-mannered adult, opens the door in full wolf’s garb and growls, “Do you dare ask for candy?”
On this one extraordinary night, we willingly run into the dark rather than away from it. We grope in the pitch black field of cornstalks, brittle and bleached white like bones in the light of a crescent moon. We pay to scream with strangers in dark haunted houses, stuffy with billowing fog.
Wait! Listen: I think I hear something scratching outside. Halloween waits. Let’s have some fun. You coming?
#1 Zombie Walk. Unearth your inner ghoul. An evening of bloody good times, Zombie Walks have risen in nearly every major metro area from Toronto to Tampa. There’s even a Route 66 Zombie Crawl in Galena, KS, population 3,000. Many of the walks are family affairs with special activities for kids, even pets. Non-zombies are also invited to attend. After all, you can't have a proper zombie apocalypse without victims. Don't know how to become a zombie? No problem. There are often makeup artists on hand at the event to make you look appropriately rotted. Or find instructions for your look online. Then claw your way out of the grave and stagger out to join me.
#2 Witch’s Ball. Granted, Salem and New Orleans hold the granddaddies of these fetes, but witch’s balls have sprung up everywhere. Be warned though, you may not find an announcement in your local paper. I googled ‘witch’s ball’, ‘Halloween ball’ and ‘All Hallows masquerade’ for Phoenix and found a plethora of costume parties to choose from. Pick one that features not just costumes, but a psychic fair, dumb supper (see #4 below), or an Underworld journey to visit the dead, so you can experience the full flavor of the event.
#3 Ghost Hunting. Many towns have places reputed to be haunted. Sign up for a tour and try your hand at paranormal investigation. The tours often provide you with detection equipment, and bring your digital camera to capture orbs, shadows, apparitions and other phenomena. #4 Hold a Dumb Supper. I follow this ancient tradition with my family every Hallows Eve, to commune with the souls of our loved ones on the other side of the veil. Transform your covered patio. Divide a long table in half with black material hung from the ceiling, to designate one side for the living and one half for the spirits. Put pictures and mementos of your loved ones on the spirit side, along with offerings of their favorite foods. The meal is conducted in silence, so we can concentrate on opening our heart and soul to those who may cross over and visit. Serve the meal course backwards, including the placement of everything down to the silverware, as a means of weaving your earth-bound participants down into the Shadow World of the spirits. Have a pencil and paper ready to do automatic writing and capture any messages from the beyond.
#5 Throw a Tarot Spread. Samhain, the witch’s version of Halloween, is also considered the perfect time for divination. Here’s a fun reading called “Haunted House.” In dreams, a house often represents you, the chambers and passages symbolizing your own inner dwelling place. So light your candle, open your mind’s creaky door, and peer into the darkened corner of your own Halloween haunted house!
Shuffle your favorite tarot deck in your usual way. Lay out seven cards as follows:
1. The Forbidding Foyer:
What has been trying to enter your life (for good or ill) that you have been warding off?
2. The Perilous Parlor:
What aspect of yourself do you need to spend more time getting to know?
3. The Lurid Library:
What lore or study is calling to expand your esoteric knowledge?
4. The Atrocious Attic:
What neglected treasure should you dust off and use now?
5. The Chilling Cellar:
What should be stored away and allowed to ripen for future use?
6. The Ghastly Garden: What needs to be weeded out?
7. The Twisted Oak Tree: What needs to sink roots and deepen?
Now, draw one more card for a message from an otherworldly visitor to your Haunted House. Boo!
#6 Visit a Corn Maze. The corn maze is the epitome of Samhain, the last harvest season. They have become popular tourist attractions and a way for farms to create additional income. Many are based on artistic designs such as movie characters or current events, and some are even created to tell stories or to portray a particular theme. Most have a path, which goes all around the whole pattern, either to end in the middle or to come back out again. In Arizona, my annual go-to spot is the 10-acre maze at Schnepf Farms. Last year, my son resorted to GPS on his phone to get us out. If you’d like a real challenge, go on Oct. 16 and navigate by full moon instead of flashlights. Or combine the maze with a really scary haunted house. #7 Corpses for Sale. A full-size corpse, nicely decaying head, moveable extremities. Blue eyes. No, brown. Or maybe empty sockets. Every year, www.corpsesforsale.com packs a dozen or so of them on trucks for delivery to film makers, collectors and the odd person who wants to drive around with one in the passenger seat of the car. Since 1991, creator and proprietor Jaime Di Stefano has crafted unlife-like corpses from chicken wire, wood, latex and cotton. Of course, he thinks of them as art projects, not stiffs. Don’t you want one?
#8 Give More than Candy. Do something extra for trick or treaters. Over the years, I’ve set up a Severus Snape Potions Lab in our garage, complete with Veritaserum (hot cider in a carafe surrounded by fog). The whole family has dressed up and posed in the front-yard cemetery, rising up to greet trick or treaters as they come up the driveway. I’ve done tarot card readings at the local Halloween carnival; thrown chicken bones for divination around a neighborhood fire pit after we put the kids to bed; read palms by candlelight. You have a latent talent buried within. Unearth it this Halloween.
9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard.
9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard. For instructions, see the easy step-by-step instructions in this book.
10. Practice Psychometry This is the ability to sense or “read” the history of an object by touching it. Impressions may be images, sounds, smells, tastes, even emotions. A practiced psychometrist can hold an object—an antique glove, for example-- and be able to tell something about the history of that glove, what the owner was like, what they did and even how they died.
Perhaps most importantly, the psychic can sense how the person felt - the emotions of the person at a particular time. Emotions especially, it seems, are most strongly "recorded" in the object.
Don’t believe me? Try it at your Halloween party. Have each guest bring one or two items that have a strong history and sentimental value. Take turns exchanging tokens. Hold one in your hand and relax. Share the impressions you get, and let the owner tell you how close your information was at the end. If you’re having trouble picking up information, silently ask yourself questions to help trigger information such as, “how many owners has this object had?” “Where was this object purchased?” “Was it given as a gift?” “Did a male or female give you this object?” And so on. You may be surprised at the accuracy.
11. Make a Will. If you don’t have a will or living trust, do one this month. Why is this activity in my list? Our society spends most of its time trying not to think about death. Samhain, on the other hand, celebrates death. It fills our imaginations like no other day. Take advantage of that openness. Get it done. Then make a point to review and update if needed on future Samhains.
This holiday is the dark aesthetic blended with romance, myth, and rebellion. When the leaves change and the evenings go chilly, I’m transported back to running the neighborhood with my pals in Zorro capes, witch’s hats, and black cat costumes complete with swishing tail. I recall a knot of children screaming on a front porch when the homeowner, a normally mild-mannered adult, opens the door in full wolf’s garb and growls, “Do you dare ask for candy?”
On this one extraordinary night, we willingly run into the dark rather than away from it. We grope in the pitch black field of cornstalks, brittle and bleached white like bones in the light of a crescent moon. We pay to scream with strangers in dark haunted houses, stuffy with billowing fog.
Wait! Listen: I think I hear something scratching outside. Halloween waits. Let’s have some fun. You coming?
#1 Zombie Walk. Unearth your inner ghoul. An evening of bloody good times, Zombie Walks have risen in nearly every major metro area from Toronto to Tampa. There’s even a Route 66 Zombie Crawl in Galena, KS, population 3,000. Many of the walks are family affairs with special activities for kids, even pets. Non-zombies are also invited to attend. After all, you can't have a proper zombie apocalypse without victims. Don't know how to become a zombie? No problem. There are often makeup artists on hand at the event to make you look appropriately rotted. Or find instructions for your look online. Then claw your way out of the grave and stagger out to join me. #2 Witch’s Ball. Granted, Salem and New Orleans hold the granddaddies of these fetes, but witch’s balls have sprung up everywhere. Be warned though, you may not find an announcement in your local paper. I googled ‘witch’s ball’, ‘Halloween ball’ and ‘All Hallows masquerade’ for Phoenix and found a plethora of costume parties to choose from. Pick one that features not just costumes, but a psychic fair, dumb supper (see #4 below), or an Underworld journey to visit the dead, so you can experience the full flavor of the event.
#3 Ghost Hunting. Many towns have places reputed to be haunted. Sign up for a tour and try your hand at paranormal investigation. The tours often provide you with detection equipment, and bring your digital camera to capture orbs, shadows, apparitions and other phenomena. #4 Hold a Dumb Supper. I follow this ancient tradition with my family every Hallows Eve, to commune with the souls of our loved ones on the other side of the veil. Transform your covered patio. Divide a long table in half with black material hung from the ceiling, to designate one side for the living and one half for the spirits. Put pictures and mementos of your loved ones on the spirit side, along with offerings of their favorite foods. The meal is conducted in silence, so we can concentrate on opening our heart and soul to those who may cross over and visit. Serve the meal course backwards, including the placement of everything down to the silverware, as a means of weaving your earth-bound participants down into the Shadow World of the spirits. Have a pencil and paper ready to do automatic writing and capture any messages from the beyond.#5 Throw a Tarot Spread. Samhain, the witch’s version of Halloween, is also considered the perfect time for divination. Here’s a fun reading called “Haunted House.” In dreams, a house often represents you, the chambers and passages symbolizing your own inner dwelling place. So light your candle, open your mind’s creaky door, and peer into the darkened corner of your own Halloween haunted house!
Shuffle your favorite tarot deck in your usual way. Lay out seven cards as follows:
1. The Forbidding Foyer:What has been trying to enter your life (for good or ill) that you have been warding off?
2. The Perilous Parlor:
What aspect of yourself do you need to spend more time getting to know?
3. The Lurid Library:
What lore or study is calling to expand your esoteric knowledge?
4. The Atrocious Attic:
What neglected treasure should you dust off and use now?
5. The Chilling Cellar:
What should be stored away and allowed to ripen for future use?
6. The Ghastly Garden: What needs to be weeded out?
7. The Twisted Oak Tree: What needs to sink roots and deepen?
Now, draw one more card for a message from an otherworldly visitor to your Haunted House. Boo!
#6 Visit a Corn Maze. The corn maze is the epitome of Samhain, the last harvest season. They have become popular tourist attractions and a way for farms to create additional income. Many are based on artistic designs such as movie characters or current events, and some are even created to tell stories or to portray a particular theme. Most have a path, which goes all around the whole pattern, either to end in the middle or to come back out again. In Arizona, my annual go-to spot is the 10-acre maze at Schnepf Farms. Last year, my son resorted to GPS on his phone to get us out. If you’d like a real challenge, go on Oct. 16 and navigate by full moon instead of flashlights. Or combine the maze with a really scary haunted house. #7 Corpses for Sale. A full-size corpse, nicely decaying head, moveable extremities. Blue eyes. No, brown. Or maybe empty sockets. Every year, www.corpsesforsale.com packs a dozen or so of them on trucks for delivery to film makers, collectors and the odd person who wants to drive around with one in the passenger seat of the car. Since 1991, creator and proprietor Jaime Di Stefano has crafted unlife-like corpses from chicken wire, wood, latex and cotton. Of course, he thinks of them as art projects, not stiffs. Don’t you want one?
#8 Give More than Candy. Do something extra for trick or treaters. Over the years, I’ve set up a Severus Snape Potions Lab in our garage, complete with Veritaserum (hot cider in a carafe surrounded by fog). The whole family has dressed up and posed in the front-yard cemetery, rising up to greet trick or treaters as they come up the driveway. I’ve done tarot card readings at the local Halloween carnival; thrown chicken bones for divination around a neighborhood fire pit after we put the kids to bed; read palms by candlelight. You have a latent talent buried within. Unearth it this Halloween. 9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard.
9. Make a screamer. These cloth mache monsters are a lot of work, but boy are they fun! I’m making three witches to circle the cauldron in our front yard. For instructions, see the easy step-by-step instructions in this book.10. Practice Psychometry This is the ability to sense or “read” the history of an object by touching it. Impressions may be images, sounds, smells, tastes, even emotions. A practiced psychometrist can hold an object—an antique glove, for example-- and be able to tell something about the history of that glove, what the owner was like, what they did and even how they died.
Perhaps most importantly, the psychic can sense how the person felt - the emotions of the person at a particular time. Emotions especially, it seems, are most strongly "recorded" in the object.Don’t believe me? Try it at your Halloween party. Have each guest bring one or two items that have a strong history and sentimental value. Take turns exchanging tokens. Hold one in your hand and relax. Share the impressions you get, and let the owner tell you how close your information was at the end. If you’re having trouble picking up information, silently ask yourself questions to help trigger information such as, “how many owners has this object had?” “Where was this object purchased?” “Was it given as a gift?” “Did a male or female give you this object?” And so on. You may be surprised at the accuracy.
11. Make a Will. If you don’t have a will or living trust, do one this month. Why is this activity in my list? Our society spends most of its time trying not to think about death. Samhain, on the other hand, celebrates death. It fills our imaginations like no other day. Take advantage of that openness. Get it done. Then make a point to review and update if needed on future Samhains.
