Rae Theodore's Blog, page 13

Searching for the Indigo Girls

W and I are seeing the Indigo Girls on Sunday in what is being billed as a special acoustic performance. I got her tickets for her birthday.

Today, I stopped by our local Best Buy to pick up the new Indigo Girls CD. Yes, we still buy CDs. We are old school like that. Word to your mother.

I couldn’t find the CD on the shelves, so I sought out a Best Buy employee to aid in the search. Before all was said and done, there were three boys in blue huddled around a computer screen and then the CD ra...

Being butch and Barry Manilow

I had a 45-minute drive yesterday. I was tired of listening to sports radio and NPR. Even my 80s station didn’t appeal.

So, I popped open my four-CD collection of Barry Manilow’s greatest hits. I belted out the lyrics to “I Write the Songs” and “Mandy” and “Weekend in New England.”

It felt like the unbutchest thing I’ve done in a long time. Even though there was Lola “with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there.”

But I didn’t care. It was just me and Barry in my Altima “sin...

On the verge in 2016

2015 was a pretty spectacular year for your favorite butch blogger.

I landed a publishing contract and my book, Leaving Normal: Adventures in Gender, was released on June 26. If you’re keeping score at home, that’s the same day the U.S. Supreme Court issued its marriage equality ruling.

W and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary.

Call mea sucker for a head offeathered hair back in the day.

I not only survived my first public speaking gig but shined. Like Farrah Fawcett’s pretty feathered...

What I learned from some blue jays

A few weeks before Christmas, I saw three blue jays in our backyard. Three blue jays lined up on a white picket fence, their painted crowns poking into the morning sky.

I knew there was some meaning inmy sighting. I went to my computer and looked up the blue jay as an animal totem.

“If you have a Blue Jay totem, you must learn to use your personal power properly. Be careful not to become a bully. The word ‘jay’ comes from the Latin word ‘Gaea’ which is Mother Earth. A Blue Jay totem links you...

Middle-age Butch speaks

So, guys,I had my corporate speaking gig on Thursday. It went really well. Who’s the butch? That would be me.

Remember how nervous I was? I wrote about my fear here.

Looking good.

To get myself psyched up, I watched wrestling. And I wore my power tie. One that had belonged to a friend who passed away a few weeks ago. The guy got things done. I’m taking you with me, I told him. I figured I needed all the help I could get.

And there at 11:30 a.m. I stood in the front of a conference room full o...

Restroom heroics

This is for everyone who has ever felt uncomfortable using a gender-specific public restroom.

And for everyone else, too. Those individuals who have never felt uneasy or unsafe using a public restroom that corresponds with their gender. If you fit into this category,see what it’s like to be butch or genderqueer. Walk in my big butch shoes forjust a few minutes.

Read what happened to mewhen I used a public ladies room when I was on vacation. My story has been publishedat The James Franco Revie...

Baby, it’s cold in here

W has been home sick for the past two weeks. And two days. Not that I’m counting or anything.

She’s had pneumonia. She’s been on steroids.

Her internal thermostat is out of whack.

It is 3o degrees outside. W is wearing a camisole. Our bedroom window is open. The overhead fan is on.

She’s like this guy:

W tells me to put on more clothes.

“I can only get so naked,” she says. “You can keep putting on more clothes.”

It is one of the few times in my life that the prospect of a naked woman does ab...

Middle-age Butch looks like a celebrity

I’ve been getting sir’d a lot these days.

At Best Buy. At the pharmacy.

Pretty much everywhere.

I had been on a ma’am streak for awhile.

What changed? I haven’t lost or gained weight. I’ve been wearing the same clothes that I always wear.

I hadn’t been able to figure it out.

Until I was looking in the mirror. And noticed that my hair is at that in between stage. Not short and spiky like with a fresh cut. Not so long that it needs cut.

Here’s what I decided. I look like this guy:

Yep, I’ve g...

My butch bucket list

A friend’s husband died a few weeks ago.

We are going to the funeral tomorrow.

I’ve read several versions of the eulogy.

Each time, I’ve been struck by one line.

The man who died was puzzled by the concept of the bucket list. This was a foreign concept to him, because he lived his bucket list. As a result, he left this world with no regrets.

I wonder how many of us can say that.

I have always been a late bloomer. I didn’t come out until my 30s and often regret time lost being young and carefr...

Angry butch

As a kid, I wasn’t allowed to show anger. When I was angry, I was supposed to express it in some silent way far removed from my parents. Even a raised voice was considered talking back.

#1 in moping and sulking

I became an excellent moper and sulker. Like Olympic gold medal moper and sulker.

I learned how to punish people with silence.

It was polite. It didn’t violate our family’s code of conduct. And I soon learned that it cut deeper than a string of cross words shouted in anger or a clenche...