Caryn Sullivan's Blog, page 7

Jack Brewer: Resilient, Resolute Entrepreneur and Philanthropist

10/15/17 I’ve had my fair of challenges in life. But I’ve never experienced racism or hatred because of my skin color. To better understand the long-standing racial divide in our country I reached out to Jack Brewer, a man who is known for his candor and convictions. This story appeared in the St. Paul Pioneer…

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Jack Brewer: Resilient, Resolute Entrepreneur and Philanthropist

10/15/17 I’ve had my fair of challenges in life. But I’ve never experienced racism or hatred because of my skin color. To better understand the long-standing racial divide in our country I reached out to Jack Brewer, a man who is known for his candor and convictions. This story appeared in the St. Paul Pioneer…

The post Jack Brewer: Resilient, Resolute Entrepreneur and Philanthropist appeared first on Caryn M. Sullivan - Bitter or Better.

Author Vince Flynn Teed It Up for the Troops

9/12/17 Vince Flynn never served in the military but he had great respect for those who did.  When his own dream of serving as a Marine pilot was thwarted by a history of concussions, he found a different way to serve. He used his platform as an internationally acclaimed author to shine a light on…

The post Author Vince Flynn Teed It Up for the Troops appeared first on Caryn M. Sullivan - Bitter or Better.

Author Vince Flynn Teed It Up for the Troops

9/12/17 Vince Flynn never served in the military but he had great respect for those who did.  When his own dream of serving as a Marine pilot was thwarted by a history of concussions, he found a different way to serve. He used his platform as an internationally acclaimed author to shine a light on…

The post Author Vince Flynn Teed It Up for the Troops appeared first on Caryn M. Sullivan - Bitter or Better.

The Intriguing Legacies of Vince Flynn

 9/10/17 This story appeared in the St. Paul Pioneer Press.  Vince Flynn was a man with a big personality, a big heart, and a big following. Beginning in the mid-1990s, he created a body of work featuring a counterterrorism agent named Mitch Rapp and plot lines so plausible he captured the interest of readers and…

The post The Intriguing Legacies of Vince Flynn appeared first on Caryn M. Sullivan - Bitter or Better.

The Intriguing Legacies of Vince Flynn

 9/10/17 This story appeared in the St. Paul Pioneer Press.  Vince Flynn was a man with a big personality, a big heart, and a big following. Beginning in the mid-1990s, he created a body of work featuring a counterterrorism agent named Mitch Rapp and plot lines so plausible he captured the interest of readers and…

The post The Intriguing Legacies of Vince Flynn appeared first on Caryn M. Sullivan - Bitter or Better.

Simon Says Gives and Famous Footwear: Working Together to Repurpose School Supplies

5/25/17

As the school year winds down students are scurrying to clear out desks and lockers. I can picture the books, papers, pens, and highlighters, crammed for months into small spaces, quickly removed in the scramble to leave the school year behind.

I remember all those dollars spent on the must have items: the expensive calculator, just the right felt tip marker, matching folders and notebooks, graph paper, and more.

Am I the only parent who wondered what happened to all those school supplies at year’s end?

Chances are, whether used or unused, school supplies end up in the garbage.

The folks at Simon Says Gives recognized the waste. So its Kids Advisory Board put forth a solution: collect unused school supplies and pass them on to students who cannot afford to buy their own.

The folks at Famous Footwear stepped forward to facilitate a way to get the donations to Simon Says Gives so they can repurpose them in its annual “High Five for Supplies” event to be held at St. Thomas Academy in Mendota Heights, Minnesota, August 3-6.

How can you help? Take your unused school supplies to any Famous Footwear location in the state of Minnesota between June 1 and July 15. Famous Footwear has containers inside stores and will ensure donations get to Simon Says Gives so it can meet its 2017 goal of filling 10,000 backpacks with supplies.

I first wrote about Simon Says Gives in 2015. The Eagan, Minnesota-based nonprofit came about when Mandi Simon approached her mother Dina about helping kids who can’t afford to have birthday parties. In less than a year, a cleverly-named nonprofit was born.

Partnering with organizations like the YMCA, the nonprofit developed a program to provide the essentials for a birthday party and a gift the child will treasure. Since 2011 Simon Says Give has brought smiles to hundreds of kids who wouldn’t otherwise have enjoyed a birthday celebration.

But facilitating birthday parties is just one of the nonprofit’s initiatives. Knowing how costly school supplies can be and that some families are stretched to purchase backpacks and supplies, Simon Says Give started “High Five for Supplies.”

The advisory board determined which school supplies should be provided for each grade and committed to offering backpacks to families who live within two hours of the Twin Cities. The nonprofit reached out to corporations and individuals and established important partnerships to fulfill the mission.

Since its inception five years ago Simon Says Gives has expanded to South Dakota and Massachusetts. It operates with an ambitious goal: to impact 2 million kids by 2022, when Mandi Simon will be a college sophomore. The gals who have embraced a mantra of being “unstoppable,” will surely achieve the goal.

Simon Says Gives is about kids celebrating kids. It’s also about teaching kids how to look up, reach out, and step forward, the hallmarks of developing resilience I write about in “Bitter or Better.” Resilience is a vital life skill, best learned early in life. Dina Simon says, “We are growing the next generation of leaders by providing the opportunity for children to develop essential life skills and a passion for giving back.”

 

The post Simon Says Gives and Famous Footwear: Working Together to Repurpose School Supplies appeared first on Caryn M Sullivan - Roadmap to Resilience.

Dear Daughter: Pack Your Roadmap to Resilience

Five years ago my daughter graduated from the all-girls’ high school where she learned more than how to ace exams. She competed for honors with girls who were laser-focused on college. She skated her heart out to make the varsity team before accepting it was beyond her reach. She learned about negotiation and conflict resolution over lunch as girls verbally arm-wrestled over prom dates.  Under horrific circumstances she learned that life comes with an expiration date. 

Graduation wrought tears, pride, and the realization my work was mostly finished. We’d given her roots and wings. How resilient she would be; whether she would bend or break from the inevitable tempests that awaited her; how she navigated an independent life, were beyond my control.

Five years later I began my week by watching an interview with the family of the Penn State fraternity pledge who recently died a senseless and preventable death as a result of hazing. I was reminded of how little control we have once our kids leave home. It seemed timely to share an essay, originally published in the St. Paul Pioneer Press, later incorporated into my award-winning memoir, “Bitter or Better.” 

The context: In the spring of 2012, two months before graduation, we shared a sun-kissed vacation with my daughter’s girlfriends and their mothers. One morning I asked the other moms what they wanted their girls to know as they launched the bikini-clad girls who were in view but out of earshot. The responses drew upon our respective experiences and vantage points but led us to craft a roadmap for resilience that has universal application. 

 Dear daughter,

The world has changed dramatically since you were born 18 years ago. Three women have served as secretary of state and several have run for president. Terrorists attacked us on our own soil so we pack our toiletries in ridiculously small Baggies when we travel. We communicate on minuscule keyboards and multi-task like mad. We have that thing called the Internet that connects you instantaneously to the cute guys you met in Mexico.

Soon you will leave the protective shelter of home and school. You might be stunned to learn how much it costs to support yourself and that life as portrayed by the Kardashians is fantasy, not reality.

As mothers, we cannot protect you from what we know to be reality: that life will bring joy and pain, opportunities and obstacles. We have done our best to prepare you to navigate it all. But in case you’ve missed the lessons, we offer you this missive to carry in your minds and souls. If you should misplace it, we are always just a phone call — or a text — away.

The first year of college may be hard. You will need to figure out how to be a juggler — when to strive for moderation and when to push the limits. You will need to manage your time and your finances. It could take awhile to master the art of balancing laundry, exams, a social life and maybe even a job. Be patient. Be resourceful. Be confident. Relish the empowerment that competence and independence breed.

You’ll need to be your own advocate in ways you may not imagine right now. You might miss a deadline on a paper and need to negotiate with your professor. Your roommate might have nonstop visitors; your tiny abode might become a toxic wasteland. Don’t suffer in silence, but be respectful. Respect is a two-way street.

Regardless of how it may appear, drinking is not an NCAA sport. No matter what others are doing, saying, or thinking, you will never regret making good choices, though it may not feel that way at the time. Be your own person, awkward as that may be. 

If you decide to drink, learn your tolerance. Use the buddy system. Relinquish your car keys. Many people have addictive tendencies and you don’t want to discover yours the messy way. Do you want to be one of those girls who slams shots to get inebriated and ends the evening with mascara cascading down her face?

College can be a blast but it can also be stressful. Whatever you are struggling with, you will get through it — and you need not face it alone. Take a risk and open up to others. When a friend or roommate is feeling blue, reach out. You might save a life.

There is a correlation between effort and outcome. Ninety-nine percent of anything is what you put into it. Push yourself. Work toward something you never thought you could do. Run a marathon. Choose a finish line and experience the exhilaration of crossing it. Dig deep and finish strong. 

Choosing your major may be overwhelming. Take time to discover your passion and nurture it, even if there are naysayers who don’t believe in you. Embrace your gifts. If you do what you are passionate about you will find contentment. Everything else — money included — will work out. Keep an open mind. Many things you think could never happen do. 

You are in the prime of your life. There are endless products and services to enhance your appearance, but it will change as you age. (You may have noticed that time and gravity aren’t always kind to moms in swimsuits). Don’t neglect your inner beauty, for it is what will draw people in and truly define you. Be the go-to friend who is a good listener and protects others’ confidences. Learn to accept and give compliments with grace and sincerity.

While you mostly communicate with digital devices, adults actually talk to one another. Explore the world. Read books. Study abroad. Sharing something you love makes you intriguing, exceptional, and desirable. Master the art of conversation by having something interesting to say.

And please… call home. 

With love, Mom

 

 

The post Dear Daughter: Pack Your Roadmap to Resilience appeared first on Caryn M Sullivan - Roadmap to Resilience.

A Mother’s Day Gift – A Roadmap to Resilience

Mother’s Day gifts come in all types of packaging. This year I’m sharing the gift of wisdom – a roadmap to resilience – for those inclined to unwrap it.

Five years ago my daughter graduated from the all-girls’ high school where she learned more than how to ace exams. She competed for honors with girls who were laser-focused on college. She skated her heart out to make the varsity team before accepting it was beyond her reach. She learned about negotiation and conflict resolution over lunch as girls verbally arm-wrestled over prom dates.  

Graduation wrought tears, pride, and the realization my work was mostly finished. We’d given her roots and wings. How resilient she would be; whether she would bend or break from the inevitable tempests that awaited her; how she navigated an independent life, were beyond my control.

Two months before graduation we shared a sun-kissed vacation with her girlfriends and their mothers. One morning I asked the other moms what they wanted their girls to know as they launched. The responses drew upon our respective experiences and vantage points but led us to a shared landing. Together, we created a roadmap for resilience that has universal application. It’s my gift to all on this Mother’s Day.

 Dear daughter,

The world has changed dramatically since you were born 18 years ago. Three women have served as secretary of state and several have run for president. Terrorists attacked us on our own soil so we pack our toiletries in ridiculously small Baggies when we travel. We communicate on miniscule keyboards and multi-task like mad. We have that thing called the Internet that connects you instantaneously to the cute guys you met in Mexico.

Soon you will leave the protective shelter of home and school. You might be stunned to learn how much it costs to support yourself and that life as portrayed by the Kardashians is fantasy, not reality.

As mothers, we cannot protect you from what we know to be reality: that life will bring joy and pain, opportunities and obstacles. We have done our best to prepare you to navigate it all. But in case you’ve missed the lessons, we offer you this missive to carry in your minds and souls. If you should misplace it, we are always just a phone call — or a text — away.

The first year of college may be hard. You will need to figure out how to be a juggler — when to strive for moderation and when to push the limits. You will need to manage your time and your finances. It could take awhile to master the art of balancing laundry, exams, a social life and maybe even a job. Be patient. Be resourceful. Be confident. Relish the empowerment that competence and independence breed.

You’ll need to be your own advocate in ways you may not imagine right now. You might miss a deadline on a paper and need to negotiate with your professor. Your roommate might have nonstop visitors; your tiny abode might become a toxic wasteland. Don’t suffer in silence, but be respectful. Respect is a two-way street.

Regardless of how it may appear, drinking is not an NCAA sport. No matter what others are doing, saying, or thinking, you will never regret making good choices, though it may not feel that way at the time. Be your own person, awkward as that may be. 

If you decide to drink, learn your tolerance. Use the buddy system. Relinquish your car keys. Many people have addictive tendencies and you don’t want to discover yours the messy way. Do you want to be one of those girls who slams shots to get inebriated and ends the evening with mascara cascading down her face?

College can be a blast but it can also be stressful. Whatever you are struggling with, you will get through it — and you need not face it alone. Take a risk and open up to others. When a friend or roommate is feeling blue, reach out. You might save a life.

There is a correlation between effort and outcome. Ninety-nine percent of anything is what you put into it. Push yourself. Work toward something you never thought you could do. Run a marathon. Choose a finish line and experience the exhilaration of crossing it. Dig deep and finish strong. 

Choosing your major may be overwhelming. Take time to discover your passion and nurture it, even if there are naysayers who don’t believe in you. Embrace your gifts. If you do what you are passionate about you will find contentment. Everything else — money included — will work out. Keep an open mind. Many things you think could never happen do. 

You are in the prime of your life. There are endless products and services to enhance your appearance, but it will change as you age. (You may have noticed that time and gravity aren’t always kind to moms in swimsuits). Don’t neglect your inner beauty, for it is what will draw people in and truly define you. Be the go-to friend who is a good listener and protects others’ confidences. Learn to accept and give compliments with grace and sincerity.

While you mostly communicate with digital devices, adults actually talk to one another. Explore the world. Read books. Study abroad. Sharing something you love makes you intriguing, exceptional, and desirable. Master the art of conversation by having something interesting to say.

And please… call home. 

With love, Mom

 

 

The post A Mother’s Day Gift – A Roadmap to Resilience appeared first on Caryn M Sullivan - Roadmap to Resilience.

Life Lessons from Sergio

4/10/17

When he sunk his last putt late Sunday, Spanish golfer Sergio Garcia achieved a personal and professional goal he’d chased through 70 tournaments.

His is a familiar story – always the bridesmaid, never the bride. But with his fiance by his side, Sergio changed his story by earning the coveted green jacket.

As a latecomer to the game of golf I didn’t know Sergio’s story.

But watching numbers change on the leaderboard, imagining how hopes of strangers were raised and dashed, it struck me that more than drives, chips and putts were on display.

An elite group of world-class golfers were demonstrating important life lessons.

Dare to dream.

Never give up.

Perfect the pivot. That first putt didn’t make it? Evaluate. Breathe. Try again.

Surround yourself with positive people who will celebrate your victories and help you to grapple with your losses.

In loss, Justin Rose, Sergio’s longtime friend and competitor, offered his own lessons.

A dignified loser garners respect.

Grace is so much more attractive than malevolence.

We can covet the green but support the one who earns it.

What lessons did you glean from the Masters this year?

 

 

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