C. Streetlights's Blog, page 3
February 25, 2018
A Hiatus and a Return
A Hiatus and a Return,C Streetlights
A hiatus is good for a writer’s soul every now and again, even if it is not great for her SEO. I’m at peace with that because I’m a whole person and not just a Google machine, pumping out post after post. I needed a chance to breathe for a minute, to calm the anxiety in my heart that I ...
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January 16, 2018
hope
the problem with hope is that you don’t know it’s false until you’ve hoped too much the problem with hope is that it paints such an amazing picture in your head but it actually turns out to be a bunch of stick figures and scribbles the problem with hope is that we often put it on pedestal making it seem ...
Read MoreJanuary 10, 2018
When Beasts Stir
When Beasts Stir,C Streetlights
(when foolishly seeking illusive and mythic beasts) open your hands to catch your breath (dropping pain from memory) Peel away skins of bitterness and layer on freckled vulnerability. build pyres of looming specters, only to shred them for kindling (written threats and ...
Read MoreDecember 29, 2017
Mania’s Midnight
Mania’s Midnight,C Streetlights
tick tick tick the ticking (always ticking) of the clock and its seconds the seconds winding their way around and Inside out the mulberry bush the seconds wound me round the neck the clock just in time to hear it mock in constant consternation, the consistent continuation of night’s suffocation my sunshine, never my sunshine smothers me when I’m not ...
Read MoreDecember 22, 2017
Seventeen
Seventeen years ago today I became a mother for the first time. My little boy — who’s not so little anymore — was born the day after I locked up my classroom for Christmas Break and three days before Christmas. It was a difficult birth, and it seemed like though my heart was created to be that of a mother’s, ...
Read MoreOctober 16, 2017
Butterfly Tears
Butterfly Tears,C Streetlights
What have I lost? Too much. What am I grieving? Too much. There are times I feel the overwhelming sense of loss fall through me and I can’t catch the tears in a butterfly net. Off they flutter, landing on this memory or touching on that ache in my soul. And I stumble along clumsily with my net not even ...
Read MoreSeptember 3, 2017
Grandmother Sun & Mother Moon
Grandmother Sun & Mother Moon,C Streetlights
Good intentions, they say, pave the road to hell. Good intentions, they say, are meaningless. Your intentions, they say, are meaningless. Your meaningless, they say, and on the road to hell. I disagree. They who are ambivalent litter the devil’s highway with apathetic proverbs and carefully crafted phrases tinged with artifice and spite. Let them have this road, and wherever ...
Read MoreAugust 20, 2017
How I Love to Watch My Courier Burn
How I Love to Watch My Courier Burn,C Streetlights
The courier font is clean. I appreciate its lines, its control. It looks crisp, like my button-downs fresh from the dry cleaners. The courier is lightly starched and pressed. Precisely how I like my life. My appearance. I like things courier fonted. Ordered. Straightened. Symmetrical. Tucked in. That’s me. Or at least, that’s who I used to be before my life turned upside ...
Read MoreJuly 22, 2017
When I Realized Clothes Meant More Than Me
When I Realized Clothes Meant More Than Me,C Streetlights
I really love clothes. Or I did, anyway, until somehow that became not okay. But that’s another topic, the shame that’s thrown onto survivors for loving things that’s just for them. Anyway. I wore a red satin skirt to work once. That’s it. That’s all I got. I wore a red satin skirt and the school imploded. It wasn’t ready ...
Read MoreJuly 17, 2017
Yes, good kids can have depression
Yes, good kids can have depression,C Streetlights
I taught Daina many years ago when I taught her in 9th grade English Honors. Her quick wit and overall sense of humor were a delight to have in the classroom, and Daina had a hard time hiding the mischief in her eyes. Needless to say, I’ve enjoyed keeping in touch with her over the years. Our shared love of ...
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