C.A. Watson's Blog, page 4
July 7, 2015
All This Quiet Is Too Loud
One of the things I’m noticing about this experience is how quiet it is. Without any of the toys that steal my attention turned on, my physical space is doesn’t make a lot of noise. I wish I could say that this was a positive experience. I hope that somewhere down the road it doesn’t feel so unnatural. Unfortunately, I’m only three days into the journey and it is just plain weird. I am so used to having some sort of background noise, that removing it actually makes it difficult to concentrate. I know that sounds weird, but I get to this place where I have to fight the impulse to turn something on. That in itself is distracting. How about that? My lack of distractions is distracting. All I can hope is that the situation corrects itself at some point. Three weeks of freaky stillness is not something I think I can pull off.
I went on one of my pre-established outings today. I drove into the Tattered Cover bookstore on Colfax in Denver to get tickets for Chris Colfer’s visit next week. I wish I could say that I did great and that I went back into retreat mode easily after venturing out into the wider world. I wish I could, but I can’t. Don’t get me wrong, the whole thing didn’t completely fall apart. I got all of my prescribed tasks done. My word count was met and typed. I started sending chapters to my editor. I tracked my food and exercised.I read and worked on my greeting card ideas for fun and profit. I even blogged, as you can see. But there was this restlessness. I wanted to get out of the house, to do anything else but what I was doing. I had to work to resist it, but I caved. I went out to lunch. Do I feel bad? Sort of, but I have to admit, it helped. It gave me the ability to focus after I got back in a way I’m not sure I could have if I’d stayed home. Did I cheat? I don’t think so. I gave myself permission to do one outside activity a day. This was it. Still, I don’t feel great about it either. It’s a work in progress. I just hope I’m progressing in the right direction.
I went on one of my pre-established outings today. I drove into the Tattered Cover bookstore on Colfax in Denver to get tickets for Chris Colfer’s visit next week. I wish I could say that I did great and that I went back into retreat mode easily after venturing out into the wider world. I wish I could, but I can’t. Don’t get me wrong, the whole thing didn’t completely fall apart. I got all of my prescribed tasks done. My word count was met and typed. I started sending chapters to my editor. I tracked my food and exercised.I read and worked on my greeting card ideas for fun and profit. I even blogged, as you can see. But there was this restlessness. I wanted to get out of the house, to do anything else but what I was doing. I had to work to resist it, but I caved. I went out to lunch. Do I feel bad? Sort of, but I have to admit, it helped. It gave me the ability to focus after I got back in a way I’m not sure I could have if I’d stayed home. Did I cheat? I don’t think so. I gave myself permission to do one outside activity a day. This was it. Still, I don’t feel great about it either. It’s a work in progress. I just hope I’m progressing in the right direction.
July 6, 2015
Convent Mondays Are Hard
Today was the first weekday of this process. I know that shouldn’t make a difference, but somehow it does. Weekdays are designed for action. You are supposed to be doing things out in the world. I felt it in my desire to check my e-mail and Facebook when I used the timer on my phone. I felt it in my reluctance to get moving on the day, just like it was a typical Monday. A convent is, in many ways, a retreat from time, or at least our perception of it. I don’t know if three weeks is enough time to feel some sense of that sort of disconnect, but I do know this: The stirrings will get louder and meaner as this goes on.
Today reminded me of something else. While my TV will stay off, my mother will have her’s on ALL THE TIME. This is not usual behavior for her, but once a year, during the month of July, my mother becomes a sports fan as obsesses with the Tour de France as anyone in Chicago is with the Cubs. She will watch the same race twice in one day. She takes notes. She keeps a running tab on who is in what place. She gets information on the route weeks before the race begins. This means there is a consistent din of noise in the background for this adventure in quiet. I have not found it distracting at all. Not yet, but that is another thing that will just have to play out.
Two days down, nineteen to go.
Today reminded me of something else. While my TV will stay off, my mother will have her’s on ALL THE TIME. This is not usual behavior for her, but once a year, during the month of July, my mother becomes a sports fan as obsesses with the Tour de France as anyone in Chicago is with the Cubs. She will watch the same race twice in one day. She takes notes. She keeps a running tab on who is in what place. She gets information on the route weeks before the race begins. This means there is a consistent din of noise in the background for this adventure in quiet. I have not found it distracting at all. Not yet, but that is another thing that will just have to play out.
Two days down, nineteen to go.
July 5, 2015
Creative Convent, Day One
Yep, today was the day. I entered my creative convent for the sole purpose of going after my big creative goals. I have to say, Day One went pretty well.
Did it feel like I’ve entered the convent? Well, yes and no. I did my ritual yesterday and it took over an hour to burn all of my journals. In the heat of a July afternoon I decided to burn things. Say what you will, but it was a wonderful experience (thank you, Heather my friend). However, Sunday tends to be a quiet day for me in general. We’ll see how easy or difficult this is on a weekday.
I started my day at 8 am, as per my convent rules, and it was not easy. I was in bed by 11 pm last night and slept horribly. A big part of me wanted to go back to sleep when the alarm went off, but I didn’t. I managed to complete all of my morning routine including my word count, typing my stuff, having a sit down breakfast and taking a good walk. I had other goals written down and I managed to start most of them. I started Swann’s Way. I took two walks today and tracked my food. I worked on a backlog of stuff for the book. I worked on greeting card ideas. Sunday night is a BIG television night for many people, me included. All the good stuff on HBO and Showtime and Stars, not to mention Masterpiece, is on Sundays. I don’t know why this it, but it is and it is a real challenge deciding what to watch and when to watch it. Well, not tonight. Tonight I’m doing this and reading and making dinner. Tonight I’m working and it feels, not too bad. Basically, I followed all of my own rules. That’s a great start. Now it’s all about making it last.
Did it feel like I’ve entered the convent? Well, yes and no. I did my ritual yesterday and it took over an hour to burn all of my journals. In the heat of a July afternoon I decided to burn things. Say what you will, but it was a wonderful experience (thank you, Heather my friend). However, Sunday tends to be a quiet day for me in general. We’ll see how easy or difficult this is on a weekday.
I started my day at 8 am, as per my convent rules, and it was not easy. I was in bed by 11 pm last night and slept horribly. A big part of me wanted to go back to sleep when the alarm went off, but I didn’t. I managed to complete all of my morning routine including my word count, typing my stuff, having a sit down breakfast and taking a good walk. I had other goals written down and I managed to start most of them. I started Swann’s Way. I took two walks today and tracked my food. I worked on a backlog of stuff for the book. I worked on greeting card ideas. Sunday night is a BIG television night for many people, me included. All the good stuff on HBO and Showtime and Stars, not to mention Masterpiece, is on Sundays. I don’t know why this it, but it is and it is a real challenge deciding what to watch and when to watch it. Well, not tonight. Tonight I’m doing this and reading and making dinner. Tonight I’m working and it feels, not too bad. Basically, I followed all of my own rules. That’s a great start. Now it’s all about making it last.
July 3, 2015
It's Getting Real!
It’s Friday. Tomorrow is the 4th of July, or, as I know it, the national holiday most likely to give me a headache. It has for the past five years. I would LOVE it if I could break that streak, but I don’t think I have that level of luck. No matter. I will be in bed tomorrow night by 11 pm, according to my rules, and, headache or no, I will get up at 8 am and start writing and dig into this new schedule.
I write that and I believe that, but it just does not quite feel real yet. Am I the only one who goes through this? Whenever I have a big event coming into my life, I sort of disconnect from it in order to prepare for it. I’m not sure why, but I go around in sort of a daze. When the event arrives, I wake up, but until then, I feel like like I’m in some sort of a trance. I’m choosing to take this as a good sign. Two days to go, until I retreat.
I write that and I believe that, but it just does not quite feel real yet. Am I the only one who goes through this? Whenever I have a big event coming into my life, I sort of disconnect from it in order to prepare for it. I’m not sure why, but I go around in sort of a daze. When the event arrives, I wake up, but until then, I feel like like I’m in some sort of a trance. I’m choosing to take this as a good sign. Two days to go, until I retreat.
July 2, 2015
It's Just Now Hitting Me-This Will Be Hard!
I know that it’s a little late in the game. I’m starting this in three days and this is just now hitting me. Paying attention much? I just spent the past twenty minutes on Facebook doing nothing. I can do that like nothing. I’m going to go from that to NO DISTRACTIONS AT ALL? How am I going to pull this off for three weeks. I clearly did not think this through. Well, if I had, I would never have signed up for it. I sure wouldn’t have published the idea on Facebook and let everyone know that I was going to do this and have figured out a ritual to start it all off.
Holy crap, I need help, prayers and good vibes all over the place to make this work. I will take them all and I will make this work. I guess I’ll enjoy it while I can without any rules because the cold turkey day is right around the corner. God help me!
Holy crap, I need help, prayers and good vibes all over the place to make this work. I will take them all and I will make this work. I guess I’ll enjoy it while I can without any rules because the cold turkey day is right around the corner. God help me!
It's Free! It's Free!
Hey all,
Just a quick note to let you know that my book, How To Survive A Minor Alien Invasion, is free at the Kindle e-book store for the next two days. You know, in case you were looking for something to read after the fireworks were done.
Enjoy your 4th!
C. A.
How To Survive A Minor Alien Invasion
Just a quick note to let you know that my book, How To Survive A Minor Alien Invasion, is free at the Kindle e-book store for the next two days. You know, in case you were looking for something to read after the fireworks were done.
Enjoy your 4th!
C. A.
How To Survive A Minor Alien Invasion
June 30, 2015
I'm Feeling Good, Therefore I Must Be Doomed!
Does anyone else ever get this feeling? Things are going well. You're feeling hopeful, so something bad must be about ready to happen. Yep, me too. I've had it for most of my life. Now though, I'm feeling very nervous because, well, I'm not feeling it. The creative convent plan is going forward. I signed a contract and paid for editing services today. I am getting ready to launch the print version of book one. My work is on track. I don't feel like I'm going to get sick anytime soon. I even got a good nights sleep last night. I am feeling hopeful about how things are going. I should be worried about how it's all going to go wrong, shouldn't I? Except, I'm not. It's sort of nice, not thinking the rug is about ready to be pulled out from under me. Don't get me wrong life will still give me bumps and bruises along the way. It will always have challenges, but for the first time in awhile, I don't think they will come as some sort of punishment. They will come because, well, that's life, right?
June 29, 2015
Do I Sound Pretentious?
One of the reasons that I'm working so hard at this blog, at this idea of a creative convent, is that I think it is something others can use in their own lives. I think we all could use a break now and again. I think that our creative projects too often get tossed aside for more 'practical' concerns. I want to encourage people to alter their headspace for a small amount of time in order to reconnect to something important in their lives.
Then I think, gosh, do you sound full of it. You sound so entitled and out of touch it is almost disgusting. People have jobs, bill, families and responsibilities that make this whole, disappear for three weeks idea not only impractical but irresponsible. It takes a lot to talk myself off that ledge. I am not demanding everyone disappear for three weeks, I just want others to think about taking a planned time out. I am not even sure this will work, but at least I'm willing to give it a serious try. Plus, I'm willing to fail publicly. The question hounds me, though. I can only hope that by the end of this, I will have done something that is of value. Isn't that all any of us want?
Oh, for those of you who wondered, did she keep the TV off? She did not, but she also did not sit down and spend hours in front of it. It will be an interesting three weeks.
Then I think, gosh, do you sound full of it. You sound so entitled and out of touch it is almost disgusting. People have jobs, bill, families and responsibilities that make this whole, disappear for three weeks idea not only impractical but irresponsible. It takes a lot to talk myself off that ledge. I am not demanding everyone disappear for three weeks, I just want others to think about taking a planned time out. I am not even sure this will work, but at least I'm willing to give it a serious try. Plus, I'm willing to fail publicly. The question hounds me, though. I can only hope that by the end of this, I will have done something that is of value. Isn't that all any of us want?
Oh, for those of you who wondered, did she keep the TV off? She did not, but she also did not sit down and spend hours in front of it. It will be an interesting three weeks.
June 28, 2015
How You Lose Your Mind Before Entering A Creative Convent
I have been working hard to get things ready for my admission into a creative convent and here is what I discovered, you tend to binge on the things you will be giving up. I have been glued to my TV, my phone with Facebook and Twitter and eating things that are not good for me. I wondered if nuns do this before making their retreat from the world? I would bet they do since they are marrying God and giving things up for the rest of their lives. Me, I'm only retreating for three weeks and I'm missing things that are available everyday already. I think it's hitting me now that I have a start date and a starting event. I have a whole box of journals in my basement. To kick this off, on July 4th, I will be burning them. This is a strange decision on my part. I've saved them since childhood, but from the second the thought entered my head, I knew it was the right choice. I have a good friend who has the means of burning them safely. I approached her with this idea and she gave me her enthusiastic support for the plan and suggested that we do it as a ritual where I include my intentions for this new phase of my life and conduct the ceremony in relation to a certain phase of the moon. Now, I'm normally not the sort of person that cares about these things, but I figured, what the hell? Then, I looked up when the moon's next waning phase would be, and discovered it hit on Independence Day. That, well, seemed like kismet. Burning day set.
Today is a Sunday. It is a dangerous day. Lots of good television on today. Time for a little practice in the area of absence, of less is more. I am not turing on the television today. One day and we'll see how it goes. If it goes well, then I will enter the convent with some peace. If not, it's going to be an interesting three weeks. Either way, I'm beating that wimpy two week record!
Today is a Sunday. It is a dangerous day. Lots of good television on today. Time for a little practice in the area of absence, of less is more. I am not turing on the television today. One day and we'll see how it goes. If it goes well, then I will enter the convent with some peace. If not, it's going to be an interesting three weeks. Either way, I'm beating that wimpy two week record!
June 25, 2015
Why I'm Entering A Creative Convent
What is the point of doing all this if I don't have goals? None, so I have goals. I am posting them publicly so that I hold myself accountable. Here we go.
Goal 1: The current book will be written and tentatively formatted and Mia, my editor, as gone through half of it. Specifically, the book takes place over the course of six days. Days 1-3 have been edited.
Goal 2: I will market my book daily to get to the base of selling two book each hour on Amazon. I will use this blog, Facebook and Goodreads as my main selling platforms.
Goal 3: Create a second stream of income by writing greeting cards, bring in $500-$1000 a month. I will write and send out stuff daily.
Goal 4: Finish both of the online Great Courses I have on my computer, The History of Spying and The Addicted Brain, and do other book related research.
Goal 5: Read 40-80 pages of a book daily. I have always wanted to tackle a big reading goal and his name is Proust. I am starting that during this time as well as engaging in other reading. I still want to have read 75 book by the end of the year.
Goal 6: Track food and exercise daily
Goal 7: Finish one of my counted cross-stitch projects.
Goal 8: Start on my a secret personal project. This will be a year long mission that I will go into later. These three weeks are part of my prep phase.
Goal 9: NO DISTRACTIONS!!!! This means NO FACEBOOK (outside of posting my blog) NO TWITTER, NO TV, NO TV GUIDE, NO E!, NO IMDB, NO FANDANGO, NO WHIRLY WORD. In short NOTHING THAT IS A TIME SUCK ON MY PHONE, TABLET, COMPUTERS OR TELEVISION IS ALLOWED.
Goal 10: Complete all my goals.
Those are the goals. I think I have made them clear and tangible. If not, then I will alter them as needed. I am going to do this!
Goal 1: The current book will be written and tentatively formatted and Mia, my editor, as gone through half of it. Specifically, the book takes place over the course of six days. Days 1-3 have been edited.
Goal 2: I will market my book daily to get to the base of selling two book each hour on Amazon. I will use this blog, Facebook and Goodreads as my main selling platforms.
Goal 3: Create a second stream of income by writing greeting cards, bring in $500-$1000 a month. I will write and send out stuff daily.
Goal 4: Finish both of the online Great Courses I have on my computer, The History of Spying and The Addicted Brain, and do other book related research.
Goal 5: Read 40-80 pages of a book daily. I have always wanted to tackle a big reading goal and his name is Proust. I am starting that during this time as well as engaging in other reading. I still want to have read 75 book by the end of the year.
Goal 6: Track food and exercise daily
Goal 7: Finish one of my counted cross-stitch projects.
Goal 8: Start on my a secret personal project. This will be a year long mission that I will go into later. These three weeks are part of my prep phase.
Goal 9: NO DISTRACTIONS!!!! This means NO FACEBOOK (outside of posting my blog) NO TWITTER, NO TV, NO TV GUIDE, NO E!, NO IMDB, NO FANDANGO, NO WHIRLY WORD. In short NOTHING THAT IS A TIME SUCK ON MY PHONE, TABLET, COMPUTERS OR TELEVISION IS ALLOWED.
Goal 10: Complete all my goals.
Those are the goals. I think I have made them clear and tangible. If not, then I will alter them as needed. I am going to do this!
