S.J. Himes's Blog, page 4
August 9, 2015
Resist- Review and Giveaway
Resist
By Heather C. Leigh
5 Stars
Usually when I hear about an M/F author dipping his or her toes in the delectable pool of wonder that is the M/M genre, I'm hesitant to give the book a try.The chemistry between a man and a woman is very similar to that of a man to man, but there's a fundamental difference that many authors can't grasp their first time writing a male only couple.
I was very quickly reassured. Heather C. Leigh roped me in fast. Her style, while not sparse, is fast-paced, smooth, and gives off a frenetic energy that's hard to resist. (wink) Mitch is the biggest case of denial I've ever seen. And, reading M/M now for a couple years exclusively, I've seen some men in denial--and he wins hands down.
Ms. Leigh does a great job of showing the reader the tension between Mitch, our retired FBI agent, and Gavin, our slightly spoiled rock star. Gavin is immediately attracted, but confused by Mitch's conflicting behaviors, and comes across as a brat more often than a suave superstar. Thanks to the alternating POVs, we get to see inside both men's heads, and understand their actions, so I was never left thinking one was a jackass and the other a helpless brat. Mitch is endearing in his frustrations and obliviousness, and Gavin is heartbreaking with his wounded psyche and painful past.
The actual plot, that of mysterious stalker, comes in second place to the broiling tension between the two leads. The bodyguard trope is overdone, even in the M/M genre, so reading this book was actually a pleasure. It was a refreshing take on an overused plot device, and I am very thankful it never fell into a repetitive rehashing of every other bodyguard/stalker tale known to the romance world. While there are similar and familiar elements, Ms. Leigh takes her time to make us focus on the growing relationship and emotions between Mitch and Gavin, and less on the constant danger from the stalker. The mystery surrounding the stalker(s) plays out more in the background, even while we're reminded on each page why Mitch is there, and why Gavin is so stressed out.
This was a different read for me. Not due to this being the author's first foray into the land of M/M, but because of Ms. Leigh's writing style. She leaves out extraneous details, keeps the plot moving, and makes the reader focus on the two men instead of the world they live in--usually I like a well-fleshed out environment, and I thrive on details. There is just enough detail in the story to give me a snapshot of where and what, then it's right into the interactions and dialogue. Smooth and swift, and I liked it.
I'm giving this book 5 Stars because of the intense and chaotic chemistry between Mitch and Gavin. I was addicted, and just as unable to stop as they were.
This book is aptly named!
Buy Resist on Amazon
Rafflecopter and Giveaway
By Heather C. Leigh
5 Stars
Usually when I hear about an M/F author dipping his or her toes in the delectable pool of wonder that is the M/M genre, I'm hesitant to give the book a try.The chemistry between a man and a woman is very similar to that of a man to man, but there's a fundamental difference that many authors can't grasp their first time writing a male only couple.
I was very quickly reassured. Heather C. Leigh roped me in fast. Her style, while not sparse, is fast-paced, smooth, and gives off a frenetic energy that's hard to resist. (wink) Mitch is the biggest case of denial I've ever seen. And, reading M/M now for a couple years exclusively, I've seen some men in denial--and he wins hands down.
Ms. Leigh does a great job of showing the reader the tension between Mitch, our retired FBI agent, and Gavin, our slightly spoiled rock star. Gavin is immediately attracted, but confused by Mitch's conflicting behaviors, and comes across as a brat more often than a suave superstar. Thanks to the alternating POVs, we get to see inside both men's heads, and understand their actions, so I was never left thinking one was a jackass and the other a helpless brat. Mitch is endearing in his frustrations and obliviousness, and Gavin is heartbreaking with his wounded psyche and painful past.
The actual plot, that of mysterious stalker, comes in second place to the broiling tension between the two leads. The bodyguard trope is overdone, even in the M/M genre, so reading this book was actually a pleasure. It was a refreshing take on an overused plot device, and I am very thankful it never fell into a repetitive rehashing of every other bodyguard/stalker tale known to the romance world. While there are similar and familiar elements, Ms. Leigh takes her time to make us focus on the growing relationship and emotions between Mitch and Gavin, and less on the constant danger from the stalker. The mystery surrounding the stalker(s) plays out more in the background, even while we're reminded on each page why Mitch is there, and why Gavin is so stressed out.
This was a different read for me. Not due to this being the author's first foray into the land of M/M, but because of Ms. Leigh's writing style. She leaves out extraneous details, keeps the plot moving, and makes the reader focus on the two men instead of the world they live in--usually I like a well-fleshed out environment, and I thrive on details. There is just enough detail in the story to give me a snapshot of where and what, then it's right into the interactions and dialogue. Smooth and swift, and I liked it.
I'm giving this book 5 Stars because of the intense and chaotic chemistry between Mitch and Gavin. I was addicted, and just as unable to stop as they were.
This book is aptly named!
Buy Resist on Amazon
Rafflecopter and Giveaway
August 2, 2015
The King's Command
Bred For LoveThe King's CommandBook Two of The Bred For Love SeriesSJ Himes Writing as
Revella Hawthorne
Official Blurb:
Percy is pregnant. He is overjoyed, and Prince Edward, his master and owner, is just as happy. Both men are content, and are enjoying the simple life at Hartgrove, Prince Edward's country estate. There they stay in pre-baby bliss, until the christening of the Cassian Dynasty's newest princeling approaches. Prince Edward decides to risk King Henry's wrath, and brings Percy back to the capital to attend his nephew's christening, putting his and Percy's unconventional relationship front and center in the media and the court. Greed and betrayal combine to place Percy and their unborn child in danger, and the capital, once a place of power and strength for Prince Edward, becomes a prison. Percy is confronted by the reality of his social status and what exactly it means to be the collared consort of a Cassian blood prince--and how dangerous that place of honor can be.
Caught between the orders of King Henry and the dangers to be found in Court and city, Percy and Edward strive to protect themselves, their love, and their unborn child.
The Process of Making a Sequel
Writing a series is easier, and harder than I ever expected it to be. Easier, in that as the books progress, I don't have to do as much world building, and I can get to the actual story-lines and plot. I can introduce new characters and evolve old ones, and I can move the books wherever I want...EXCEPT.....and here's the hard part:I am restricted by what came before. Continuity is a vital, and often under-appreciated element of writing a series. I have to make sure I'm honoring the books that came before, and moving them in the direction laid out in the previous book. I can't waste a plot point, I have to carry the clues from before, I have to protect the characters, and let their potential explode across the pages in such a way that makes sense based on their previous experiences. And this is so much harder than I thought it would be...and also a joy.
Percy
Percy, in The King's Command, is still the sweet, submissive and gentle breeder we all know and love. BUT--he's also a thinking, breathing, feeling HUMAN man, and I had to lead him to that realization with kid gloves, and some not so nice scenes. I had to get Percy to the point where he breaks--and becomes something more than he was before. He'll always look to Edward to lead, but Percy grows to realize that he has a voice too, and that Edward will never treat him as 'less' for expressing it.
Edward
Edward, Eddie, Ed....Prince of the Blood. Farmer, lover, leader, humble and yet arrogant in the way that only the truly royal can be, that innate presence that comes from having a dynasty behind you.Edward is challenged in The King's Command much as Percy is--put under strain, in ways he could never have foreseen or prevented. His status has always been an source of strength and protection for the youngest son of the sitting Monarch, and while he never abused it, he still benefited from all the perks of being a Cassian Royal and Prince of the Blood. yet in The King's Command, Edward is confronted by betrayal, and it's not something he can turn to his family for protection from--as they are the ones from whom he needs protection!
Edward and Percy are put under strain. Impossible and powerful, and aggravating. Frustration, anger, bitter disappointment all converge on Percy and Edward. They will find new friends willing to risk everything to help them....for reasons of their own.
Excerpt:(NSFW)
“Hello, little one,” Edward said with a smile, raking a hand through his solid black hair, dislodging the last few stubborn snowflakes from the longish locks. He smiled down at Percy, his tanned skin flushed from cold, dark brown eyes shining. “Were you waiting long?” “No, master,” Percy blushed as Edward bent down, gifting him a sweet kiss before shrugging out of his coat and tossing it to the floor. “I just got up.” “What have a told you about that?” Edward growled with a grin, reaching out and tugging Percy into his arms, nuzzling his still cold nose in the thick hair behind Percy’s ear. “Call me Edward when we’re alone, little one.” “Yes, master,” Percy sighed with a smile, and he let his head fall back as Edward gently nibbled his way down his neck. Edward growled again, a smooth rumble that made Percy shiver, and his master sucked on the vulnerable skin just above the consort collar. Percy leaned into the hot mouth and raced his small hands under Edward’s thick sweater, touching firm flesh. His prince moaned, tongue slipping up his neck, landing behind his ear and nibbling at the tender skin, and Percy gave himself over to the desire building fast. Edward lifted his head, and let go of Percy, stripping himself fast, dark eyes burning with a lust that made Percy’s body respond faster. His tight hole clenched, and he whimpered, feeling the slick lubricant his body naturally produced begin to build between his ass cheeks. Edward was stripped bare in seconds, and his hard, aroused body plastered to Percy’s entire front. The robe was gone in a blink, pooling at their feet as Edward lifted Percy off the floor, mouths coming together in a wet tangle of tongues. “Lunch can wait,” Edward gasped, tearing his mouth away from Percy’s and attacking his neck again, making Percy writhe in his arms. The bed suddenly appeared under them, and Percy found himself flat on his back, legs spread, with Edward’s lean hips resting between his thighs. Percy arched into the bigger man, needing more of his weight, wanting his hard body to press him down until he could no longer move, helpless and trapped.“Are you feeling better, baby?” Edward whispered, need weighing down each word. Edward hadn’t touched him like he knew the prince wanted, the royal’s need to fuck him pressing in, demanding an outlet. Edward’s care and concern with Percy left him treating Percy like he was made of spun glass and he was frustrated too. Percy panted, and nodded, seeking out Edward’s mouth for another kiss. Edward wasted no time, both hands roughly lifting Percy’s legs up and out, bending him nearly in half.
The King's Command
Available August 15, 2015
And Coming Soon from SJ Himes
Writing as
Revella Hawthorne
Bred For LoveA Royal RebellionOctober 2015
Book Three of the Bred For Love Series
Revella Hawthorne
Official Blurb:
Percy is pregnant. He is overjoyed, and Prince Edward, his master and owner, is just as happy. Both men are content, and are enjoying the simple life at Hartgrove, Prince Edward's country estate. There they stay in pre-baby bliss, until the christening of the Cassian Dynasty's newest princeling approaches. Prince Edward decides to risk King Henry's wrath, and brings Percy back to the capital to attend his nephew's christening, putting his and Percy's unconventional relationship front and center in the media and the court. Greed and betrayal combine to place Percy and their unborn child in danger, and the capital, once a place of power and strength for Prince Edward, becomes a prison. Percy is confronted by the reality of his social status and what exactly it means to be the collared consort of a Cassian blood prince--and how dangerous that place of honor can be.
Caught between the orders of King Henry and the dangers to be found in Court and city, Percy and Edward strive to protect themselves, their love, and their unborn child.
The Process of Making a Sequel
Writing a series is easier, and harder than I ever expected it to be. Easier, in that as the books progress, I don't have to do as much world building, and I can get to the actual story-lines and plot. I can introduce new characters and evolve old ones, and I can move the books wherever I want...EXCEPT.....and here's the hard part:I am restricted by what came before. Continuity is a vital, and often under-appreciated element of writing a series. I have to make sure I'm honoring the books that came before, and moving them in the direction laid out in the previous book. I can't waste a plot point, I have to carry the clues from before, I have to protect the characters, and let their potential explode across the pages in such a way that makes sense based on their previous experiences. And this is so much harder than I thought it would be...and also a joy.
Percy
Percy, in The King's Command, is still the sweet, submissive and gentle breeder we all know and love. BUT--he's also a thinking, breathing, feeling HUMAN man, and I had to lead him to that realization with kid gloves, and some not so nice scenes. I had to get Percy to the point where he breaks--and becomes something more than he was before. He'll always look to Edward to lead, but Percy grows to realize that he has a voice too, and that Edward will never treat him as 'less' for expressing it.
Edward
Edward, Eddie, Ed....Prince of the Blood. Farmer, lover, leader, humble and yet arrogant in the way that only the truly royal can be, that innate presence that comes from having a dynasty behind you.Edward is challenged in The King's Command much as Percy is--put under strain, in ways he could never have foreseen or prevented. His status has always been an source of strength and protection for the youngest son of the sitting Monarch, and while he never abused it, he still benefited from all the perks of being a Cassian Royal and Prince of the Blood. yet in The King's Command, Edward is confronted by betrayal, and it's not something he can turn to his family for protection from--as they are the ones from whom he needs protection!
Edward and Percy are put under strain. Impossible and powerful, and aggravating. Frustration, anger, bitter disappointment all converge on Percy and Edward. They will find new friends willing to risk everything to help them....for reasons of their own.
Excerpt:(NSFW)
“Hello, little one,” Edward said with a smile, raking a hand through his solid black hair, dislodging the last few stubborn snowflakes from the longish locks. He smiled down at Percy, his tanned skin flushed from cold, dark brown eyes shining. “Were you waiting long?” “No, master,” Percy blushed as Edward bent down, gifting him a sweet kiss before shrugging out of his coat and tossing it to the floor. “I just got up.” “What have a told you about that?” Edward growled with a grin, reaching out and tugging Percy into his arms, nuzzling his still cold nose in the thick hair behind Percy’s ear. “Call me Edward when we’re alone, little one.” “Yes, master,” Percy sighed with a smile, and he let his head fall back as Edward gently nibbled his way down his neck. Edward growled again, a smooth rumble that made Percy shiver, and his master sucked on the vulnerable skin just above the consort collar. Percy leaned into the hot mouth and raced his small hands under Edward’s thick sweater, touching firm flesh. His prince moaned, tongue slipping up his neck, landing behind his ear and nibbling at the tender skin, and Percy gave himself over to the desire building fast. Edward lifted his head, and let go of Percy, stripping himself fast, dark eyes burning with a lust that made Percy’s body respond faster. His tight hole clenched, and he whimpered, feeling the slick lubricant his body naturally produced begin to build between his ass cheeks. Edward was stripped bare in seconds, and his hard, aroused body plastered to Percy’s entire front. The robe was gone in a blink, pooling at their feet as Edward lifted Percy off the floor, mouths coming together in a wet tangle of tongues. “Lunch can wait,” Edward gasped, tearing his mouth away from Percy’s and attacking his neck again, making Percy writhe in his arms. The bed suddenly appeared under them, and Percy found himself flat on his back, legs spread, with Edward’s lean hips resting between his thighs. Percy arched into the bigger man, needing more of his weight, wanting his hard body to press him down until he could no longer move, helpless and trapped.“Are you feeling better, baby?” Edward whispered, need weighing down each word. Edward hadn’t touched him like he knew the prince wanted, the royal’s need to fuck him pressing in, demanding an outlet. Edward’s care and concern with Percy left him treating Percy like he was made of spun glass and he was frustrated too. Percy panted, and nodded, seeking out Edward’s mouth for another kiss. Edward wasted no time, both hands roughly lifting Percy’s legs up and out, bending him nearly in half.
The King's Command
Available August 15, 2015
And Coming Soon from SJ Himes
Writing as
Revella Hawthorne
Bred For LoveA Royal RebellionOctober 2015
Book Three of the Bred For Love Series
July 12, 2015
When Happiness Hurts
When Happiness Hurts
I have a Bucket List. Most people do, right? It became the 'thing' back in the late nineties, early aughts, and everyone was doing it. Hell, they even made a movie. So I avoided having such a thing, because,...well, I never wanted to think about my dreams, or rather, the lack of them.
Depression does that. Steals dreams. Makes your forget, and puts ambition to sleep. A horrid affliction I fight every damn day, and it still tears at me, even now....even now, when I am so damn happy, that I hurt. Happiness is painful.
Well, here's why. I'm so happy I'm getting sick.
Thank you, to everyone. An honest, and painful, thank you. I may not be Number #1, but I feel like it.
To be within touching distance of one of my all time favorite authors is a privilege and joy. To even be in the same ANYTHING as some of these wonderful people is one of the greatest joys of my life.
And I am so damn happy I can FEEL the happy! I can feel this joy! I'm alive, somewhere, under the ennui and the pain and burden of depression, I can feel how alive I actually am, and I refuse to fall backwards under the weight of it again. I may never make Number #1, but to even be this close to the top makes me feel like I've already succeeded.
I'm not done yet. One of my Bucket List items is, "To get a book of mine within the Top 20 bestsellers of Gay Fiction". I'll get there. One day.
Wolves Of Black Pine
Life sucks. Bad things happen. And so do good things. Fight for the good, and fight through the bad.
I have a Bucket List. Most people do, right? It became the 'thing' back in the late nineties, early aughts, and everyone was doing it. Hell, they even made a movie. So I avoided having such a thing, because,...well, I never wanted to think about my dreams, or rather, the lack of them.
Depression does that. Steals dreams. Makes your forget, and puts ambition to sleep. A horrid affliction I fight every damn day, and it still tears at me, even now....even now, when I am so damn happy, that I hurt. Happiness is painful.
Well, here's why. I'm so happy I'm getting sick.
Thank you, to everyone. An honest, and painful, thank you. I may not be Number #1, but I feel like it.
To be within touching distance of one of my all time favorite authors is a privilege and joy. To even be in the same ANYTHING as some of these wonderful people is one of the greatest joys of my life.
And I am so damn happy I can FEEL the happy! I can feel this joy! I'm alive, somewhere, under the ennui and the pain and burden of depression, I can feel how alive I actually am, and I refuse to fall backwards under the weight of it again. I may never make Number #1, but to even be this close to the top makes me feel like I've already succeeded.
I'm not done yet. One of my Bucket List items is, "To get a book of mine within the Top 20 bestsellers of Gay Fiction". I'll get there. One day.
Wolves Of Black Pine
Life sucks. Bad things happen. And so do good things. Fight for the good, and fight through the bad.
June 29, 2015
Where The Wolves Run
Where The Wolves RunWolves of Black Pineby SJ Himes
Release Day, June 30th 2015It's Alive!
Starting out, months and months ago, writing was the means I used to escape. I tried to get away from the frustration, the helplessness, the grief I felt at being stuck in a life I could no longer stand. Depression is a vile and cloying disease that steals hope and ambition, and kills dreams faster than anything in this world. To survive, I latched onto whatever I could that generated even the tiniest bit of happy, and what happened snowballed into the miracle I now call my profession. I may pull a day job to cover the bills, but what I call myself now is....WRITER.Author.
I create worlds that bring me peace and happiness, and the stories I kept to myself for years, my escape from reality, are now alive, a force of nature and words that are inescapable and powerful.
Back in August of 2014, I read an m/m shifter story, and while it was sexy and well-written, it left me unsatisfied. That itch wasn't scratched, ya know? Little things in the commonly accepted lore of 'shifters' bothered me, in that it was all about those particular pieces and not the characters. And I kept seeing the same themes over and over and over in shifter books. While some things are perfectly fine to be shared across the genre, and I personally read and enjoy tons of shifter books, I had a version to tell that was vastly different.
One thing that seems to be shared across the spectrum with writers is that we write what we want to read. So that, my dears, is how Wolves of Black Pine was born. I wrote what I wanted to read.
And I'm incredibly nervous about how it's going to be received. It's one thing to lament the woes of trying to create an original shifter world and universe, and its entirely different to actually do it. I'm messing with the very much beloved shifter-verse, and I'm not too sure how the readers will take to it. Angry? Adoring? Or will my book come in with a lusty howl and quickly fade out on a whimper?
When He SpeaksYet he wouldn't shut up. He broke down my nerves and walls and said, "I'm here, and I'm not leaving until you tell this story."
That's when Gray Shadow started to talk to me. Shaman Gray Shadow spoke to me, and he didn't tell me his story, but the story of his grandson, Luca. A very special boy who would one day be the key and focus of a war, a battle for not just his right to live and love, but the fate of his people.
I love Gray Shadow. He came out of my brain fully realized and complete, and I knew before I wrote the first word that he would break my heart. His own story isn't in Wolves, but his best chapter is, and it will hopefully resonate with readers as it did with me.
Wolves of Black PineAn ancient civilization long hidden from humanity is on the brink of chaos and war. Peaceful for thousands of years, the wolfkin clans are mysteriously losing packmates, kidnapped and killed by unknown foes.The nightmare begins with an ambush by humans at a gathering of their kind, and lives are lost. Among them is Luca, youngest grandson of the two most powerful wolves in the Northern Clans. Thought long dead and gone, he is forced into a half-life, hidden in the far northern wilds of Canada and cut off from his kind. Those who raised him have no idea the creature they harbor in their midst, and name him Ghost. He begins to lose himself over the long years, and though he barely recalls his true name, the one wolf he never forgets is Kane.
Kane, Heir to the wolfkin clan Black Pine, is charged with hunting down the traitors who betrayed their kind to the humans. Years fly by, and more wolves are dying. He refuses to give up, and he vows to never again fail another of their kind, as he failed young Luca years before. His heart tells him Luca lives, but his mind tells him that it’s foolish hope, his guilt eating him alive.Fate and magic change the course of their lives, and the two wolves long separated by the years find their paths intertwining. Though the gift of their reunion doesn’t come without price. Faced by the consequences of their growing love, and the goddess-forged bond between them, Kane and Ghost are besieged on all sides. Enemies are coming for their blood, and without the steadfast loyalty and love of family and friends, they may not be safe from the very people they fight to protect.
GhostLuca is a child in the beginning of the book. The wolfkin live for a very long time, and five years is like infancy to their kind. He is five years old, and smart, sweet, and loves to flirt with everyone. Innocent and affectionate, Luca holds a special place in Gray Shadow's heart, and he charms everyone he meets.....Especially Kane, heir to Black Pine Clan.
Tragedy strikes and betrayal rips apart families. Death takes the best and brightest, and cruel fate sends Luca, helpless and alone, into the wilds. His path deviates from where it should have gone, and his loss is mourned, all thinking him dead... But for one.
Kane has hope, but it torments him, his inability to let go of Luca and mourn him for dead crippling him. He continues on, grieving and yet determined to avenge the lives lost, and find the traitors and killers hiding among their kind.
Lost for years, in the company of humans who think him an animal, Luca loses himself. He is given a new name, and becomes Ghost. He dreams of loneliness and sorrow, and the distant glimpses in his dream-scape of a midnight black wolf.
He is a ghost, a specter, living a half-life of empty promise, his humanity slowly losing ground to the instincts of his wolfkin form. It's not until violence and death comes for him and his humans that Ghost begins to recall his past and true nature.
Fate takes another turn, and when Ghost finds himself returning to the place where his life as Luca ended, he comes face to face with the one wolfkin he never expected to see again.
Kane
Heir and Alpha. Best friend and killer. Hunter, leader, and defender. Kane is many things, and does his best to live up to the expectations of his clan and his people.
He leads the hunt for missing wolfkin and their abductors, and its when they get so very close to their enemies that Kane's path twists, and he returns to the place he never wanted to: Baxter State Park, the place where he failed to save some of his people, and the youngling Luca was lost.
He returns to Baxter, accompanied by his pack and dearest friends, and they quickly realize that what at first seemed to be a simple protection job had become so much more......and that Goddess and Fate have a gift for him......Luca lives.
When Deities Intervene
There is no gift from a deity that comes without price. Luca's return as Ghost is greeted with joy and disbelief, but their enemies are excited for his return as well, and they want something from Ghost that they're willing to kill to get. A bond is forged between Kane and Ghost, impossible and divine, and it is that soul bond that threatens their lives and those who would defend them. Anathema and a violation of Tradition and Law, their bond and nascent love places them in great danger.
Yet it is that bond that makes them strong, and keeps them safe. Lust and desire comes easily, and the bond comes with a surprising side effect that astounds and frightens the wolfkin around them.
The Wolf of the Northern Star is all knowing, and their Goddess has a plan for them.
Excerpt from Wolves of Black Pine:Ghost absorbed Kane’s reply, and he unconsciously nuzzled deeper into the alpha’s embrace, breathing in his scent. It was a delicious and heady mixture of fresh-cut sweet wood, pine, coffee, and soap from their shower. Thinking of wolves mating for love, and then their shower that morning, stirred Ghost’s blood, his body heating. The dull roar of many voices and the vibration of dozens of feet coming up through the soles of Ghost’s borrowed boots receded until nothing existed for him except his mate.He laid his hands flat on Kane’s stomach and side, feeling rock-hard muscles under his thin shirt, heat radiating through the fabric. Kane was speaking over Ghost’s head to someone, but he wasn’t interested in who it was, or their words. He put his nose on the smooth, soft cotton, and pulled in deep, smelling the winter air caught in the threads and his mate’s scent underneath, knocking his thoughts astray. There was so much to learn and do and think and simply be, and Ghost wanted none of it right that moment. All he wanted was to keep on existing in his mate’s space, feeling him, smelling him, listening to the rumble of his words as he spoke.Ghost ran his hands down Kane’s sides, to his hips, nostrils flaring as he pulled his heady scent in deeper, until it felt like his mate was wound around his very bones, twined with the fibers of his very being. Red starlight pulsed, grew brighter, flooding his vision, his eyes floating shut as he leaned into Kane, everything falling away but for the other wolfkin’s heat.Time passed without meaning. He’d never felt like this before. Was it because he was a human man now? The female wolves of the sanctuary never appealed to him when he was in wolf-form, nor did the scrawny males, the submissives of the female alpha’s pack. Perhaps his dual nature, both wolf and man, had kept him from having an interest in such things until he was back among his own kind.Kane was everywhere. His heat, his scent, his taste. Ghost came back to the surface momentarily, as his tongue traced the dips and hollows of Kane’s collar bone, revealed by the open neckline of his shirt. Salty, and yet sweet. He wanted more. A voice came to him through the haze, trying to calm the storm of heat and need, but he didn’t want to hear it. He growled softly, teeth bared against his mate’s soft skin, nipping and tasting.“Kane, take Ghost to your cabin,” an accented voice said, laced with humor. It came as if from a great distance, muffled. Ghosts sighed, lathing his tongue over a hard ridge of muscle, standing on his toes, fingers curled tightly in the fabric of Kane’s shirt.“What’s gotten in to him? I’m not complaining, but he growls every time I try and get him to calm down.” Kane was speaking. Why was he speaking to someone, and not touching him?Ghost whined, and pressed closer, wanting to crawl inside his mate and roll in him, surround himself in every facet of his mate. He was falling deeper, every thump of his heart rocking him under his body’s response to his mate. His thoughts were thinning, becoming less complete, Kane’s sharing of thoughts and ideas, behaviors—it was becoming less important. He wanted something. Needed something, and soon.“Your bond is getting stronger, deeper. Whether you knew it or not, you’ve had nearly fifteen years of adjusting to the bond. Whereas Ghost was a little boy, then a wolf, when the bond first began, so it never had time to grow in him as it did in you….the bond is hitting him hard, making up for lost time. The two of you need to cement your connection. Get him alone, now.”“Well, shit,” Kane swore, grabbing at Ghost’s hands. He growled again, trying to get closer, not wanting to be denied. “I’ll ask how you know that later.”Big arms picked him up. Ecstatic, Ghost whimpered, and roped his legs around Kane’s waist, and he buried his hands in his long dark hair, the silken strands flowing through his fingers like water. He ran his mouth slowly over Kane’s high cheekbones, to his ear, nipping at the soft lobe. There was a rough hitch in Kane’s breathing, and there was a change in his scent, a fiery and spicy taste of which he wanted more.Kane was walking. Carrying him, to somewhere. He didn’t care. All he cared about was the strength in the muscles under his hands, against his body, the way his skin tasted and smelled and felt. Chill air and the scent of pine greeted him, light filtering through his eyelids. He blinked, and lifted his head from Kane’s neck. He saw a hillside covered in snow, a thin path cutting through the trees behind them as Kane took them down a new path.“There you are, little wolf. Can you hold on for me? Just another few minutes?” Kane asked him huskily, his long strides devouring the ground as he walked along the path.“What happened?” Ghost gasped softly, and he tightened his arms and legs around Kane’s torso. He felt different. Head lighter, skin tingling, heart thrumming. And he was hard, his cock aching where it was pressed to Kane’s stomach.“Can you tell me? I don’t mind at all that you want me, little wolf, but in the middle of a Clan-wide meeting was perhaps not the best place to…..you know.” Kane didn’t sound upset, he sounded amused, and yet strained. “My cabin’s right here, just hold on, I’m going to open the door.”
Wolves of Black Pineby SJ HimesBook One of The Wolfkin SagaRelease Day June 30th, 2015
Wolves on Amazon
Wolves on Smashwords
Wolves on Nook
Wolves on Kobo
Coming soon Early Winter 2015:
Wolf of the Northern StarSequel to Wolves of Black PineTheir story doesn't end here! Kane and Ghost will be back!
Excerpt from Wolf of the Northern Star
Ghost crept forward, the flickering light from the fires camouflaging his approach to the cage where his mate paced. Kane was in his wolf-form, the great and beautiful beast almost too big for his prison. Ghost could see him with his Spirit-sight, Kane’s powerful crimson red star in his core a writhing storm of strength and resolute determination.Ghost was within a yard or so when Kane’s head turned in his direction, his dark eyes glowing in the shadows, the only hint of his outline in the darkness. *Little wolf, you must leave,* Kane said, the frantic concern he felt for Ghost’s safety coming through clearly along their link. *The tribunal will punish you if they catch you here!**No!* Ghost retorted, stepping through the dead grass and weeds beside the cage. He pressed his head through the bars, only able to get his nose and muzzle inside. He was not afraid of wolves who went against the Great Mother’s will, wolves who wanted Kane punished for having too much power—power they couldn’t control or exploit. Kane licked his nose, whining deep in his throat. *I will not leave you alone. You fight for me, for us. What the tribunal is doing is wrong, and you know it!**It is, little wolf, but they do what they feel is right,* Kane said softly, pressing his head to Ghost’s, the bars keeping them from getting closer. *I am Heir and Alpha, and I cannot disobey the Law.**Law made by wolves who no longer believe, no longer follow our Goddess. They quote Her Will without once asking for Her guidance. She made this bond between us, and I am thankful every moonrise that she did,* Ghost whimpered, thinking he should just use his abilities to destroy his mate’s prison and free them both. Let them leave, live in the wilds, wolves unfettered by corrupt Law and greed.*No, Ghost,* Kane told him, reading his thoughts. *I will fight tomorrow, and defeat Roman. I have done so before, easily. He will die, as justice for his crimes, and I will be exonerated when the gathered shamans cannot dissolve our soulbond. Don’t worry.*Ghost was about to answer, when the crack of a twig in the night made them break apart, both turning to confront the wolf standing nearby. Ghost swallowed his snarl, instantly recognizing Andromeda’s true-gold star, shining intensely in the heart of the Red Fern Clan Leader. The White Wolf padded silently into the small space around the cage, and sat beside Ghost, her wolf-form terrifying in its beauty and grace. Pure white, glacial blue eyes, and fangs sharper than the final cut of Death, Andromeda was the epitome of the wolfkin.*You would win, Kane of Black Pine,* she said gently to both of them, *If the tribunal had not just decided that you will no longer fight Roman McLennan. He will face death in the pit against Heromindes, Clan Alpha of Ashland.**And who will Kane fight?* Ghost demanded, paws restless in the pine needles under his toes. Kane was breathing slow and sure next to him, both of them staring at Andromeda, waiting for the name of Kane’s opponent in the morning.
*Forgive me, younglings,* She said, ears back, nose down, unhappiness for once disturbing her usually stony expression. *For once, I do not know. A greater alpha, summoned this night from out-Clan. He arrives in the morning.*
Upcoming from SJ's Alter EgoRevella HawthorneBred For Love: The King's Command
August 15th, 2015
All Content Copyrighted by SJ Himes 2015
Release Day, June 30th 2015It's Alive!
Starting out, months and months ago, writing was the means I used to escape. I tried to get away from the frustration, the helplessness, the grief I felt at being stuck in a life I could no longer stand. Depression is a vile and cloying disease that steals hope and ambition, and kills dreams faster than anything in this world. To survive, I latched onto whatever I could that generated even the tiniest bit of happy, and what happened snowballed into the miracle I now call my profession. I may pull a day job to cover the bills, but what I call myself now is....WRITER.Author.
I create worlds that bring me peace and happiness, and the stories I kept to myself for years, my escape from reality, are now alive, a force of nature and words that are inescapable and powerful.
Back in August of 2014, I read an m/m shifter story, and while it was sexy and well-written, it left me unsatisfied. That itch wasn't scratched, ya know? Little things in the commonly accepted lore of 'shifters' bothered me, in that it was all about those particular pieces and not the characters. And I kept seeing the same themes over and over and over in shifter books. While some things are perfectly fine to be shared across the genre, and I personally read and enjoy tons of shifter books, I had a version to tell that was vastly different.
One thing that seems to be shared across the spectrum with writers is that we write what we want to read. So that, my dears, is how Wolves of Black Pine was born. I wrote what I wanted to read.
And I'm incredibly nervous about how it's going to be received. It's one thing to lament the woes of trying to create an original shifter world and universe, and its entirely different to actually do it. I'm messing with the very much beloved shifter-verse, and I'm not too sure how the readers will take to it. Angry? Adoring? Or will my book come in with a lusty howl and quickly fade out on a whimper?
When He SpeaksYet he wouldn't shut up. He broke down my nerves and walls and said, "I'm here, and I'm not leaving until you tell this story."
That's when Gray Shadow started to talk to me. Shaman Gray Shadow spoke to me, and he didn't tell me his story, but the story of his grandson, Luca. A very special boy who would one day be the key and focus of a war, a battle for not just his right to live and love, but the fate of his people.
I love Gray Shadow. He came out of my brain fully realized and complete, and I knew before I wrote the first word that he would break my heart. His own story isn't in Wolves, but his best chapter is, and it will hopefully resonate with readers as it did with me.
Wolves of Black PineAn ancient civilization long hidden from humanity is on the brink of chaos and war. Peaceful for thousands of years, the wolfkin clans are mysteriously losing packmates, kidnapped and killed by unknown foes.The nightmare begins with an ambush by humans at a gathering of their kind, and lives are lost. Among them is Luca, youngest grandson of the two most powerful wolves in the Northern Clans. Thought long dead and gone, he is forced into a half-life, hidden in the far northern wilds of Canada and cut off from his kind. Those who raised him have no idea the creature they harbor in their midst, and name him Ghost. He begins to lose himself over the long years, and though he barely recalls his true name, the one wolf he never forgets is Kane.
Kane, Heir to the wolfkin clan Black Pine, is charged with hunting down the traitors who betrayed their kind to the humans. Years fly by, and more wolves are dying. He refuses to give up, and he vows to never again fail another of their kind, as he failed young Luca years before. His heart tells him Luca lives, but his mind tells him that it’s foolish hope, his guilt eating him alive.Fate and magic change the course of their lives, and the two wolves long separated by the years find their paths intertwining. Though the gift of their reunion doesn’t come without price. Faced by the consequences of their growing love, and the goddess-forged bond between them, Kane and Ghost are besieged on all sides. Enemies are coming for their blood, and without the steadfast loyalty and love of family and friends, they may not be safe from the very people they fight to protect.
GhostLuca is a child in the beginning of the book. The wolfkin live for a very long time, and five years is like infancy to their kind. He is five years old, and smart, sweet, and loves to flirt with everyone. Innocent and affectionate, Luca holds a special place in Gray Shadow's heart, and he charms everyone he meets.....Especially Kane, heir to Black Pine Clan.
Tragedy strikes and betrayal rips apart families. Death takes the best and brightest, and cruel fate sends Luca, helpless and alone, into the wilds. His path deviates from where it should have gone, and his loss is mourned, all thinking him dead... But for one.
Kane has hope, but it torments him, his inability to let go of Luca and mourn him for dead crippling him. He continues on, grieving and yet determined to avenge the lives lost, and find the traitors and killers hiding among their kind.
Lost for years, in the company of humans who think him an animal, Luca loses himself. He is given a new name, and becomes Ghost. He dreams of loneliness and sorrow, and the distant glimpses in his dream-scape of a midnight black wolf.
He is a ghost, a specter, living a half-life of empty promise, his humanity slowly losing ground to the instincts of his wolfkin form. It's not until violence and death comes for him and his humans that Ghost begins to recall his past and true nature.
Fate takes another turn, and when Ghost finds himself returning to the place where his life as Luca ended, he comes face to face with the one wolfkin he never expected to see again.
Kane
Heir and Alpha. Best friend and killer. Hunter, leader, and defender. Kane is many things, and does his best to live up to the expectations of his clan and his people.
He leads the hunt for missing wolfkin and their abductors, and its when they get so very close to their enemies that Kane's path twists, and he returns to the place he never wanted to: Baxter State Park, the place where he failed to save some of his people, and the youngling Luca was lost.
He returns to Baxter, accompanied by his pack and dearest friends, and they quickly realize that what at first seemed to be a simple protection job had become so much more......and that Goddess and Fate have a gift for him......Luca lives.
When Deities Intervene
There is no gift from a deity that comes without price. Luca's return as Ghost is greeted with joy and disbelief, but their enemies are excited for his return as well, and they want something from Ghost that they're willing to kill to get. A bond is forged between Kane and Ghost, impossible and divine, and it is that soul bond that threatens their lives and those who would defend them. Anathema and a violation of Tradition and Law, their bond and nascent love places them in great danger.
Yet it is that bond that makes them strong, and keeps them safe. Lust and desire comes easily, and the bond comes with a surprising side effect that astounds and frightens the wolfkin around them.
The Wolf of the Northern Star is all knowing, and their Goddess has a plan for them.
Excerpt from Wolves of Black Pine:Ghost absorbed Kane’s reply, and he unconsciously nuzzled deeper into the alpha’s embrace, breathing in his scent. It was a delicious and heady mixture of fresh-cut sweet wood, pine, coffee, and soap from their shower. Thinking of wolves mating for love, and then their shower that morning, stirred Ghost’s blood, his body heating. The dull roar of many voices and the vibration of dozens of feet coming up through the soles of Ghost’s borrowed boots receded until nothing existed for him except his mate.He laid his hands flat on Kane’s stomach and side, feeling rock-hard muscles under his thin shirt, heat radiating through the fabric. Kane was speaking over Ghost’s head to someone, but he wasn’t interested in who it was, or their words. He put his nose on the smooth, soft cotton, and pulled in deep, smelling the winter air caught in the threads and his mate’s scent underneath, knocking his thoughts astray. There was so much to learn and do and think and simply be, and Ghost wanted none of it right that moment. All he wanted was to keep on existing in his mate’s space, feeling him, smelling him, listening to the rumble of his words as he spoke.Ghost ran his hands down Kane’s sides, to his hips, nostrils flaring as he pulled his heady scent in deeper, until it felt like his mate was wound around his very bones, twined with the fibers of his very being. Red starlight pulsed, grew brighter, flooding his vision, his eyes floating shut as he leaned into Kane, everything falling away but for the other wolfkin’s heat.Time passed without meaning. He’d never felt like this before. Was it because he was a human man now? The female wolves of the sanctuary never appealed to him when he was in wolf-form, nor did the scrawny males, the submissives of the female alpha’s pack. Perhaps his dual nature, both wolf and man, had kept him from having an interest in such things until he was back among his own kind.Kane was everywhere. His heat, his scent, his taste. Ghost came back to the surface momentarily, as his tongue traced the dips and hollows of Kane’s collar bone, revealed by the open neckline of his shirt. Salty, and yet sweet. He wanted more. A voice came to him through the haze, trying to calm the storm of heat and need, but he didn’t want to hear it. He growled softly, teeth bared against his mate’s soft skin, nipping and tasting.“Kane, take Ghost to your cabin,” an accented voice said, laced with humor. It came as if from a great distance, muffled. Ghosts sighed, lathing his tongue over a hard ridge of muscle, standing on his toes, fingers curled tightly in the fabric of Kane’s shirt.“What’s gotten in to him? I’m not complaining, but he growls every time I try and get him to calm down.” Kane was speaking. Why was he speaking to someone, and not touching him?Ghost whined, and pressed closer, wanting to crawl inside his mate and roll in him, surround himself in every facet of his mate. He was falling deeper, every thump of his heart rocking him under his body’s response to his mate. His thoughts were thinning, becoming less complete, Kane’s sharing of thoughts and ideas, behaviors—it was becoming less important. He wanted something. Needed something, and soon.“Your bond is getting stronger, deeper. Whether you knew it or not, you’ve had nearly fifteen years of adjusting to the bond. Whereas Ghost was a little boy, then a wolf, when the bond first began, so it never had time to grow in him as it did in you….the bond is hitting him hard, making up for lost time. The two of you need to cement your connection. Get him alone, now.”“Well, shit,” Kane swore, grabbing at Ghost’s hands. He growled again, trying to get closer, not wanting to be denied. “I’ll ask how you know that later.”Big arms picked him up. Ecstatic, Ghost whimpered, and roped his legs around Kane’s waist, and he buried his hands in his long dark hair, the silken strands flowing through his fingers like water. He ran his mouth slowly over Kane’s high cheekbones, to his ear, nipping at the soft lobe. There was a rough hitch in Kane’s breathing, and there was a change in his scent, a fiery and spicy taste of which he wanted more.Kane was walking. Carrying him, to somewhere. He didn’t care. All he cared about was the strength in the muscles under his hands, against his body, the way his skin tasted and smelled and felt. Chill air and the scent of pine greeted him, light filtering through his eyelids. He blinked, and lifted his head from Kane’s neck. He saw a hillside covered in snow, a thin path cutting through the trees behind them as Kane took them down a new path.“There you are, little wolf. Can you hold on for me? Just another few minutes?” Kane asked him huskily, his long strides devouring the ground as he walked along the path.“What happened?” Ghost gasped softly, and he tightened his arms and legs around Kane’s torso. He felt different. Head lighter, skin tingling, heart thrumming. And he was hard, his cock aching where it was pressed to Kane’s stomach.“Can you tell me? I don’t mind at all that you want me, little wolf, but in the middle of a Clan-wide meeting was perhaps not the best place to…..you know.” Kane didn’t sound upset, he sounded amused, and yet strained. “My cabin’s right here, just hold on, I’m going to open the door.”
Wolves of Black Pineby SJ HimesBook One of The Wolfkin SagaRelease Day June 30th, 2015
Wolves on Amazon
Wolves on Smashwords
Wolves on Nook
Wolves on Kobo
Coming soon Early Winter 2015:
Wolf of the Northern StarSequel to Wolves of Black PineTheir story doesn't end here! Kane and Ghost will be back!
Excerpt from Wolf of the Northern Star
Ghost crept forward, the flickering light from the fires camouflaging his approach to the cage where his mate paced. Kane was in his wolf-form, the great and beautiful beast almost too big for his prison. Ghost could see him with his Spirit-sight, Kane’s powerful crimson red star in his core a writhing storm of strength and resolute determination.Ghost was within a yard or so when Kane’s head turned in his direction, his dark eyes glowing in the shadows, the only hint of his outline in the darkness. *Little wolf, you must leave,* Kane said, the frantic concern he felt for Ghost’s safety coming through clearly along their link. *The tribunal will punish you if they catch you here!**No!* Ghost retorted, stepping through the dead grass and weeds beside the cage. He pressed his head through the bars, only able to get his nose and muzzle inside. He was not afraid of wolves who went against the Great Mother’s will, wolves who wanted Kane punished for having too much power—power they couldn’t control or exploit. Kane licked his nose, whining deep in his throat. *I will not leave you alone. You fight for me, for us. What the tribunal is doing is wrong, and you know it!**It is, little wolf, but they do what they feel is right,* Kane said softly, pressing his head to Ghost’s, the bars keeping them from getting closer. *I am Heir and Alpha, and I cannot disobey the Law.**Law made by wolves who no longer believe, no longer follow our Goddess. They quote Her Will without once asking for Her guidance. She made this bond between us, and I am thankful every moonrise that she did,* Ghost whimpered, thinking he should just use his abilities to destroy his mate’s prison and free them both. Let them leave, live in the wilds, wolves unfettered by corrupt Law and greed.*No, Ghost,* Kane told him, reading his thoughts. *I will fight tomorrow, and defeat Roman. I have done so before, easily. He will die, as justice for his crimes, and I will be exonerated when the gathered shamans cannot dissolve our soulbond. Don’t worry.*Ghost was about to answer, when the crack of a twig in the night made them break apart, both turning to confront the wolf standing nearby. Ghost swallowed his snarl, instantly recognizing Andromeda’s true-gold star, shining intensely in the heart of the Red Fern Clan Leader. The White Wolf padded silently into the small space around the cage, and sat beside Ghost, her wolf-form terrifying in its beauty and grace. Pure white, glacial blue eyes, and fangs sharper than the final cut of Death, Andromeda was the epitome of the wolfkin.*You would win, Kane of Black Pine,* she said gently to both of them, *If the tribunal had not just decided that you will no longer fight Roman McLennan. He will face death in the pit against Heromindes, Clan Alpha of Ashland.**And who will Kane fight?* Ghost demanded, paws restless in the pine needles under his toes. Kane was breathing slow and sure next to him, both of them staring at Andromeda, waiting for the name of Kane’s opponent in the morning.
*Forgive me, younglings,* She said, ears back, nose down, unhappiness for once disturbing her usually stony expression. *For once, I do not know. A greater alpha, summoned this night from out-Clan. He arrives in the morning.*
Upcoming from SJ's Alter EgoRevella HawthorneBred For Love: The King's Command
August 15th, 2015
All Content Copyrighted by SJ Himes 2015
June 27, 2015
Reading and Reviewing
Why We Should All Review
3 Days.
*OMG*
The Catch-22 of writing and reviewing.
The first of the reviews are due to break publicly on Tuesday, and while I'm hearing reassuring things from most of the reviewers, I'm still incredibly nervous. These people read books and review them, most of them for a living! It's their job! To me, that means reviewers have seen the best and the worst and the boring and the mediocre books, a whole spectrum, and hearing their opinions about how and where my book fits in among the thousands they've read makes me so effing neurotic.
I've never really cared about the opinions of others in my daily life, but in some way I need to care about what the reviewers think, since good reviews means other people will be willing to read my work. I may write because it fulfills something in me, but I also need to sell books, or writing becomes a debilitating hobby. I have aimed for quality and originality, and hopefully the love I feel for my characters comes across the page clearly, and resonates with readers.
I write reviews too, especially for books I sincerely enjoyed. I know how much a review means to the author. I never EVER give a four or five star review where I feel it isn't warranted, but if a book was good or great, then it DESERVES a review. It's the least I can do for the author creating such an enjoyable experience. I may have paid for the book, but I'll also have the joy of reading it for years to come again and again, and I can pay forward that gift by reviewing the book.
Even if you aren't a professional reviewer or blogger, and you buy a book, leave a review for it at the place you bought it. Not just for my books, but every book you buy. Tons of sites make it easy to review, the links live right next to the book's title on most websites. For every review and star rating left, that book then becomes more visible to prospective readers. It's a sucky algorithm, but the more people who review, the more views a book gets. More views mean more purchases. And starving writers can get a solid meal (or pay the bills), and keep writing...which more books get written, and more readers get to read.
3 Days.
*OMG*
The Catch-22 of writing and reviewing.
The first of the reviews are due to break publicly on Tuesday, and while I'm hearing reassuring things from most of the reviewers, I'm still incredibly nervous. These people read books and review them, most of them for a living! It's their job! To me, that means reviewers have seen the best and the worst and the boring and the mediocre books, a whole spectrum, and hearing their opinions about how and where my book fits in among the thousands they've read makes me so effing neurotic.
I've never really cared about the opinions of others in my daily life, but in some way I need to care about what the reviewers think, since good reviews means other people will be willing to read my work. I may write because it fulfills something in me, but I also need to sell books, or writing becomes a debilitating hobby. I have aimed for quality and originality, and hopefully the love I feel for my characters comes across the page clearly, and resonates with readers.
I write reviews too, especially for books I sincerely enjoyed. I know how much a review means to the author. I never EVER give a four or five star review where I feel it isn't warranted, but if a book was good or great, then it DESERVES a review. It's the least I can do for the author creating such an enjoyable experience. I may have paid for the book, but I'll also have the joy of reading it for years to come again and again, and I can pay forward that gift by reviewing the book.
Even if you aren't a professional reviewer or blogger, and you buy a book, leave a review for it at the place you bought it. Not just for my books, but every book you buy. Tons of sites make it easy to review, the links live right next to the book's title on most websites. For every review and star rating left, that book then becomes more visible to prospective readers. It's a sucky algorithm, but the more people who review, the more views a book gets. More views mean more purchases. And starving writers can get a solid meal (or pay the bills), and keep writing...which more books get written, and more readers get to read.
June 23, 2015
When Good Things.....Well, Shit.
When Good Things......Well, Shit.12:20 AM 6/24/2015A midnight therapy session.
Waiting and hating it. Wanting more and resenting it. Restless and edgy and afraid,and so mad at myselfI choke on it. Things will always be,"it'll get better"and never once, better.
Stuck in a moment that never ends, always leaning forwardtrying to bend, but breaking instead. I get pulled back, yanked down,And I feel it.
It's here, nowdragging, dulling, graspingThicker than water,and nowhere near as clean.
I want to move, to walk, burst into a run,leave!
I want out.
But I can't.I'm here, now, too present to pretend otherwise.
Apathy and sarcasm shielded the worst,blocked the grief and disappointment.Once armor, now injury.
Wanting more, needing more.So fucking tired, too exhausted to be kind and calm.
I see a short way ahead of me. I "know" the right answer.The right destination.Knowing the truth and fighting for it...Well, Shit.
I don't want death.I can't stand the thoughtof obscurity.To be here,to live here, and leave without the world knowing I was here...Hurts worse than actually being here.
I've never wanted death,but how do I live,when living is what hurts?I'm pretending.faking.
Smile. Nod, repeat.pretend. Or not.Casual despondency, so know one tries to care for a minute.
Fuck pity. Fuck concern stirred by guiltand shame.I'll do this all,somehow,someway,I will be me.
I'll be the me I should have been,before Life went sideways,and I lost my way.Things will always hurt. I'll always feel sick and sad.
I've never been me.I've always been her.I want to BE ME.
Waiting and hating it. Wanting more and resenting it. Restless and edgy and afraid,and so mad at myselfI choke on it. Things will always be,"it'll get better"and never once, better.
Stuck in a moment that never ends, always leaning forwardtrying to bend, but breaking instead. I get pulled back, yanked down,And I feel it.
It's here, nowdragging, dulling, graspingThicker than water,and nowhere near as clean.
I want to move, to walk, burst into a run,leave!
I want out.
But I can't.I'm here, now, too present to pretend otherwise.
Apathy and sarcasm shielded the worst,blocked the grief and disappointment.Once armor, now injury.
Wanting more, needing more.So fucking tired, too exhausted to be kind and calm.
I see a short way ahead of me. I "know" the right answer.The right destination.Knowing the truth and fighting for it...Well, Shit.
I don't want death.I can't stand the thoughtof obscurity.To be here,to live here, and leave without the world knowing I was here...Hurts worse than actually being here.
I've never wanted death,but how do I live,when living is what hurts?I'm pretending.faking.
Smile. Nod, repeat.pretend. Or not.Casual despondency, so know one tries to care for a minute.
Fuck pity. Fuck concern stirred by guiltand shame.I'll do this all,somehow,someway,I will be me.
I'll be the me I should have been,before Life went sideways,and I lost my way.Things will always hurt. I'll always feel sick and sad.
I've never been me.I've always been her.I want to BE ME.
June 16, 2015
Wild Pitch
Wild Pitch on Amazon 5 STARS*Spoiler Free Review*
I am not a sports fan, and it's not often I'll read a book in the m/m genre that involves sports. It takes a rare book, by an especially talented author to get my interest and keep it when sports and sex mix.Sloan Johnson is one such writer, and I am left with one of the most enduring book hangovers I've had in a long time after having finished Wild Pitch.
Sean and Mason, the two MC's, are both professional players on different teams, and have been friends for a long time. Best friends, and the story benefits so much from the fact that Johnson creates their relationship foundation from long-term friendship. Secrets, family angst, work and distance all come to bear down on the lovers, and I think the book would have been far more stressful a read if Sean and Mason didn't have years of friendship and trust between them to make things work. Even when things get tough, and it looks bad for them, I don't lose faith that things will get better.
"What if dreams are meant to change?" is the book's tagline, and wow, it's the whole plot in seven words. Sloan Johnson pulls off a masterful plot evolution full of changing dreams and hopes, maturity and emotional growth. Our characters all see some kind of development, and secondary characters don't FEEL secondary at all with the insights she provides us. Johnson breathes life into the smallest part, and gives each scene the details necessary to bring me into the story completely, and forget the real world.
Speaking of the real world, I have to admire Johnson's approach to baseball as a sport, the way players live and interact off the field, and she does it without any fanfare. I don't feel like I'm reading a treatise on the game, which I'm very thankful for, and the terminology and games don't leave me floundering. Johnson has written a sports book that I can enjoy, and actually look forward to the times the game comes into play (sorry!), because she presents it in such an easily digestible manner.
Johnson's dialogue comes off the page as easy as breathing, and there isn't a sense she's wasted lines or contrived a scene just so a character can say something funny or snarky. The book abounds with one-liners, some so subtle I had to reread to make sure I got it right the first time, and Jason, one of the secondary characters, has more than enough to say. (Heard he's getting his own book, insert fangirl squeal here.)
Wild Pitch is a book full of anticipation and hope. Love and friendship and a true sense of 'team' make this book, for me, a pleasure and a joy to read, and it's going in my Favorites Collection.
PS- I think I fell in love with Mason. Pretty damn sure, actually. Well done Sloan!
*I received a copy of this book for an honest review.
June 2, 2015
Freaking Out
Wolves on SmashwordsWolves on Amazon
Getting down to the wire. Gawd, I'm nervous. What if no one likes it? What if no one reviews? What if its horrible, and no one told me?
*smack*
Okay, I feel marginally better now. I can't help but freak out. This is a huge deal for me. Even bigger than the erotica. The erotica I knew was good, and and I didn't really freak because it was for a niche market and was bound to deal well there. Here, now, Wolves is for a broader audience, and may not do well at all. And i'm terrified. Not because I want sales to be awesome, though that would be great, it's because i'm carrying this fear around that I'm not good enough to be worthy of living my dream.
To write. Just write. And be happy doing it.
May 23, 2015
New Look
Cover art by Kellie Dennis of Book Cover By DesignBook Cover By Design
Get The Prince's Consort at Amazon
I'll just leave this picture right here.......Mmmhhhmm.Got my first erotica a brand-new cover. I can't design anything visual and artsy to save my life. Kellie Dennis is a master, she is amazing. I'm going to commission her for everything I write.
The sequel, The King's Command, is slated for release in late August.Popping out 3k words a day I can be done in two weeks, plenty of time to get it edited and a new cover designed for it!
Get The Prince's Consort at AmazonI'll just leave this picture right here.......Mmmhhhmm.Got my first erotica a brand-new cover. I can't design anything visual and artsy to save my life. Kellie Dennis is a master, she is amazing. I'm going to commission her for everything I write.
The sequel, The King's Command, is slated for release in late August.Popping out 3k words a day I can be done in two weeks, plenty of time to get it edited and a new cover designed for it!
May 5, 2015
As Natural As Breathing Review
Amazon LinkGoodreads Review
Pleasantly Tangled 3.5 Stars
First, I enjoyed the book. It was sweet, sexy, and charming. Christian is delightfully wounded with a grasping need to be who he truly is past his own insecurities and traumas. Logan is a buoyant charmer with a ready smile and quick wit...and a steady hand with a paddle. I'll explain the 3.5 rating below.
While Christian is the older man in the relationship (by only five years, but in your twenties, that can be a huge maturity gap), and a veteran of the Middle Eastern conflicts, he is the more damaged of the two men, wounded mentally, emotionally, and physically by his service and the betrayal he suffered at the hands of his own men. Logan is younger, and at first glance, a bit of an effervescent playboy. That's just the surface though, for both men, and Thianna does an admirable job of peeling back the layers to get to the core of each man, and showing us who they truly are, and who they can be together.
Pros:
Thianna D clearly has well-researched and comprehensive knowledge about the DD lifestyle, fetish practices, and handled the content maturely and responsibly. I was impressed by how she incorporated an almost instructional component to Logan's coaching of the lifestyle with Christian. He introduces his spanking fetish first, and clearly knows his man well enough not to scare off the skittish and (gay sex) virginal Christian with discussions of the DD (Domestic Discipline) lifestyle.
The obviously traumatized Christian was brought to the realization he had severe PTSD slowly, and naturally. Many veterans don't begin to experience symptoms until months AFTER discharge, and Thianna D walked Christian through the process with a deft touch. The panic attacks and flashbacks were well written and gripping, and felt realistic. Christian's reliance on Logan wasn't overplayed, and was tender and romantic. Logan, who as the younger man still in college, would typically be the "submissive", actually took the role as a competent, easy-going dominant. (Though to be accurate, he is a budding Head Of Household, and at this stage in the MCs' relationship, it is very much equals.)
I hate the fact that this book has flaws, as I am fond of it.
Cons:
Editing.
Whoever edited this book didn't give their best effort, not by a long shot, and did a major disservice to the author and the plot. The POV is far too fluid, jumping between head space and viewpoints in the same paragraph, and in the beginning, this is a frequent and often confusing occurrence. At points, I had trouble wondering who was thinking what, and remembering who each person was with the first-name basis the author employed with the parental units left me frustrated in the first few chapters. Addressing adults by their given names is great, but it made the parents seem to more of the MCs' peers and friends than actual parents, and it took away some of the strengthening and grounding foundation I think the author was trying to use them for.
I felt surprised, in a "what is this doing here?" kind of way when it was revealed that Logan was a practicing fetishist and aspiring Head of Household in a DD lifestyle. I was taken aback, and I KNOW I shouldn't have been, considering Thianna D's penchant and affection for the BDSM lifestyle in her previous works. The revelation felt like a sharp 90 degree corner in Logan's development, and Christian's seemingly spontaneous internal desire to be spanked was quick and equally left-field.
Final Thoughts: I did enjoy this book. Truly. I am happy with it, and I wouldn't mind adding it to my Reread pile. Sweet, sexy, charming, hit the right level of angst and tension. Well drawn and developed attraction between the MCs and I felt real chemistry. Thianna D is a talented author, and I will be eagerly looking forward to her forthcoming titles. I just wish that better care was taken with her first full-length novel.
* I received a free copy of this book for an honest review.*
