Wayne Jacobsen's Blog, page 94

Character Makes Life Easier

see previous blog post) got me thinking a lot about character, love and redemption. People often wonder how it is that God speaks to me. Certainly he inserts thoughts into my mind, or nudges my heart in directions he wants me to go, but there's something larger going on behind the scenes. As Jesus sets me increasingly free to live inside his love and care for me, it changes the way I treat others. The grid through which I respond to people changes. Instead of being focused on my needs, either maximizing my benefit or minimizing any potential pain, I'm able to see them and care about them for who they are. This allows me to think in a clearer space where his nudgings and insights are not so hard to notice.

By no means do I attain all of this in every situation, but these statements describe how I'm learning to live inside his love for me. Please don't think of these as a set of obligations to follow, but as the space that defines the freedom Jesus invites you to live in. Obligation will not produce this. Only by learning to live loved will we be free enough to sense his heart in our unfolding circumstances and be able to treat people with honor and grace.

Be yourself, no more and no less. Pretense is not your friend and deceit darkens your own soul.
Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Follow through on your word, even if you regret giving it.
Put relationships above things. Be kind and gracious to everyone, especially those you don't think deserve it.
Live at the intersection of authenticity and compassion. You don't owe everyone all you know, but make sure that what you do share is honest while it also gives grace to the hearer. Remember character is measured by how you treat people with kindness when you're absolutely sure they are in the wrong.
Unless people are harassing or abusing you, you are better off hearing them out and working through their pain rather than cutting them off to protect yourself. Only those who want to hide in the darkness, cast aside relationships just because they become difficult. The best relationships are won through difficulties and misunderstandings.

It makes life so much easier when you treat people kindly, honor your own words, and trust that God is bigger than any mistake you can make. That's a list of the things I've been thinking about. Feel free to add to it if you have other simple statements of what it's like to live in God's love toward others.

Les Miserables: Living by Law or Love

YouTube video a while back of Susan Boyle singing "I Dreamed a Dream." The words of that song haunted me and so I read the full lyrics on-line about being used by others, abandoned, and living with disappointed hopes in this age. Then Sara and I got to see the play this summer while we were in London and the full story suddenly had more meaning. When we returned home we rented the movie again and watched it. Over the last month I have been reading the book to immerse myself in the story. Surprisingly my daughter had decided to read it at the same time, so we have enjoyed talking through it together. She finished the book last night, I this morning.

As with most stories, the book is so much richer than can be put into a movie or a play. Only a book allows you to get in the mind of the characters and their internal struggles. The poignant closing scenes of the relationship between Jean ValJean, Marius, and Cosette undid me. Here's a man that was so hungry he stole some bread as a young man and served 19 years in prison for it. He gets out only to steal again from a bishop, but instead of demanding justice the bishop shows grace to Jean by his personal generosity. His act of loving sacrifice weaves its way into the fiber of Jean's being. He becomes a different person and learns to love others and show grace to them even at great personal cost to himself.

His loving is often tragic, because his first thought is not to protect himself and thus he gets used, abused, and tormented even by the people he treats with grace. Rather than defend himself, he simply keeps loving even when it costs him most dearly. He is misunderstood and doesn't try to clear the record. He forsakes his own personal happiness to ensure it for others. And because people only want to use him, they take advantage of his graciousness and miss who he really is.

What I love about this story is that while it is true that those you love the most will often lie about you and misuse you for their own gain, loving them anyway puts grace into the world to counteract all the selfishness already there. In the end, love changes lives and calls into question the way people live in their own self-interest. Grace is worth sharing, even when the objects of that grace don't understand it. In the end love wins—not everyone, of course, but enough to make it glorious all the same.

The law is a cruel taskmaster, often used by those who wish to exploit others to make themselves feel important. It often weighs heaviest on the most marginalized in society and is used to dehumanize them. But love is the anti-matter to law! Love is the more powerful. It has the power to transform people and lift them out of their misery. Live by law and you become mean and empty; live by love and even when painful a greater purpose transforms your being.

In a note to the Italian publisher Victor Hugo wrote about the universal application of his story. Here are some excerpts:

The sores of the human race, those great sores, which cover the globe, do not halt at the red or blue lines traced upon the map. In every place where man is ignorant and despairing, in every place where woman is sold for bread, wherever the child suffers for lack of the book which should instruct him and of the hearth which should warm him, the book of Les Miserables knocks at the door and says: "Open to me, I come for you."

At the hour of civilization through which we are now passing, and which is still so sombre, the miserable's name is Man; he is agonizing in all climes, and he is groaning in all languages. Your Italy is no more exempt from the evil than is our France… Like us, you have prejudices, superstitions, tyrannies, fanaticisms, blind laws lending assistance to ignorant customs. Have you not indigent persons? Glance below. Have you not parasites? Glance up. Does not that hideous balance, whose two scales, pauperism and parasitism, so mournfully preserve their mutual equilibrium, oscillate before you as it does before us? What is the amount of truth that springs from your laws, and what amount of justice springs from your tribunals? …This book, Les Miserables, is no less your mirror than ours certain men, certain castes, rise in revolt against this book,– I understand that. Mirrors, those revealers of the truth, are hated; that does not prevent them from being of use.

As for myself, I have written for all, with a profound love for my own country, but without being engrossed by France more than by any other nation. In proportion as I advance in life, I grow more simple, and I become more and more patriotic for humanity… Whether we be Italians or Frenchmen, misery concerns us all. Ever since history has been written, ever since philosophy has meditated, misery has been the garment of the human race; the moment has at length arrived for tearing off that rag, and for replacing… the sinister fragment of the past with the grand purple robe of the dawn.

The law can so easily be manipulated by the wealthy and abused by those who lie without conscience. Into the misery of our world, God speaks his love in the language of grace. Only those who are truly changed by that reality become a light in the world, treasure all of their relationships, and offer hope to those who are lost in the darkness.

After reading this book, I want even more to be that simple light, a voice of grace, to the next person I meet today. There is nothing more real, more significant, or more transforming than love freely offered, especially when it costs us something.

All the Help You Need

I am often asked if I know of a retreat or a workshop that will help people find the joy of living loved and connect with the Father, especially for those whose father's betrayed or abused them in some way. They have never had a flesh and blood example of a loving, trustworthy father in their own lives.

I was just asked that this morning. What I wrote back is something I'd want to say to so many others who struggle with the same thing. They look for a resource to help them find a...

Movie Opening: Like Dandelion Dust

I got a ringside seat behind the scenes to watch this little movie grow up. I've known producers Bobby and Kevin Downes for years and watched them craft this Karen Kingsbury novel into a first-rate motion picture as an indie production. It has been well-received at film festivals and opens this weekend to the general public in selected cities around the U.S. and you can get all the details and watch a preview here.

My part was incredibly small, but I did have the chance to read and...

Movie Openning: Like Dandelion Dust

I got a ringside seat behind the scenes to watch this little movie grow up. I've known producers Bobby and Kevin Downes for years and watched them craft this Karen Kingsbury novel into a first-rate motion picture as an indie production. It has been well-received at film festivals and opens this weekend to the general public in selected cities around the U.S. and you can get all the details and watch a preview here.

My part was incredibly small, but I did have the chance to read and...

Out of the Darkness Into the Light

I received this email yesterday and I found my heart not only cringing at the pain my sister has endured, but also overwhelmed with joy that even in such desperate circumstances she has come to discover that her Father had not abandoned her, but was with her as the redeemer in the midst of such ugly circumstances.

Our flesh wants to blame God for the painful things that happen to us, but Scripture is...

Resting From Our Own Labors

Some of the people I met at the conference in Dallas recently wrote me an email last week. They have recently left a more traditional structure and are involved with a group of people desiring to experience more relational body life. In the email they shared an interesting observation that gets to the crux of how we participate in the unfolding work of God in the world:

We are trained professionally to plan...

Until the Glory Comes

Phone calls and emails over the last few days have made me very much aware of all the pain that is in the world and how our only hope is to navigate our difficult circumstances inside the love of a powerful and gracious Father.

Whatever you are facing today, no matter how difficult or tragic, it is so much smaller than the One who loves you and who is at work even in the pain to dislodge you from a false...

Henri Nouwen Quotes

I love the thoughts and words here by a man who lived deeply a journey into life and faith in Jesus Christ:

"As long as we continue to live as if we are what we do, what we have, and what other people think about us, we will remain filled with judgments, opinions, evaluations, and condemnations. We will remain addicted to putting people and things in their "right" place."

"I know that I have to move...

Finding Truth

I thought others of you might enjoy looking over a recent email exchange I had with a brother this week:

From him:

I have been studying and studying God's word and different interpretations of certain areas of the bible, and it seems that there are so many different opinions on things that I feel like my head is going to explode trying to figure out what is right. Some say speaking in tongues is real, others say it doesn't exist now. Some say hell isnt eternal, some say it is, and some say...