Joy E. DeKok's Blog, page 9

Tender Loving Care ~ A Lesson Learned From God

[image error]

Jon and I were enjoying a lovely Sunday afternoon in the living room when a male grosbeak hit the window. He smacked it so hard that he left feathers on the glass. We both got up to look and were sad to see him lying on the ground motionless his head at a funky angle. Sadness filled our hearts.

Adding sorrow to the incident was the way his mate sat in the tree above and waited singing to him.

[image error]

The lump in my throat grew as the minutes passed and he didn’t move. Was this her last song to him? It didn’t look good, but that didn’t seem to matter to her – she kept up her musical vigil. I wondered if she knew something we didn’t. I hoped so, but he remained so still.

A funny thought crossed my mind as we listened to her sing. “It’s like she’s caring for him in a 1 Corinthians 13 kind of way – full of faith hope and love.”

But was she wasting her sweet song?

My eyes filled with tears. Then Jon whispered, “Joy – look.” The male on the ground moved. We stood at the window watching as hope for him rose in our hearts. Her quiet song got a little louder, and she continued to sing as he lifted his head, stood on wobbly feet, and shook out his feathers. She continued her musical encouragement.

I cannot tell you how excited we were when he stretched out his wings and joined her in the tree. I wanted to sing a victory song but held my breath instead, and I’m so glad I did because as soon as he landed near her, he started to sing back to her.

About this time the once hopeless tears in my eyes spilled down my face in a celebration.

She stayed beside him for a few minutes then seemed to be urging him to the feeders below by moving to branches closer to the feeders. When she flew to the jelly bowl, he joined her.

They stayed at the feeders for a long time, eating, drinking, and making sweet sounds to each other. Jon and I sat back down still watching them a little surprised by his recovery and her determined care over him.

When the birds settled back into the locust tree branches, Jon and I smiled at each other across the room our hearts deeply touched by the privilege of witnessing their tender loving care for each other.

“I want to love you that way,” I said.

And my husband responded, “I want to love you that way too.”

1 Corinthians 13:713(ESV)

13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

Until Next Time,

Joy

Fun Rose-breasted Grosbeak Fact: Not all birds sing as much as these two do. Both have been seen and heard singing with sitting on their nest. The female sings while the nest is being built, while incubating her eggs, and brooding. Her mate will sometimes sing quietly from the nest and more loudly where he perches on high branches.

P. S. I just read a book I want to share with you. My friend, author Stacy Monson’s new book is out and it’s my favorite of hers so far. And that’s saying a lot because I’ve enjoyed them all. But Open Circle got to me. Please check it out on Amazon.

[image error]

The post Tender Loving Care ~ A Lesson Learned From God appeared first on Joy DeKok .

Our Father-Daughter Dance

[image error]

Daddy & Me

In the tenth grade, John Marshall high school held a Father-Daughter dance. After school, I climbed a tall ladder, hung streamers in the lunch room, cut out name tags in the shapes of father and daughter lions, and could hardly wait to dance with my Daddy. Mama taught me the steps and gently encouraged me to let Daddy lead.

She also bought me a new dress and did my hair. Daddy bought me a corsage and came home from work early so we could double date with my friend and her dad.

[image error]

It was all such a big deal.

Then came our first dance. I was so nervous and wanted to do it perfectly, but I stepped on his toes a few times and a couple of times he stepped on mine. We tried a few more times finally choosing to sit on the sidelines.

Being wallflowers was a difficult relief.

While the music played, and other daughters danced with their dads, I wished I could have as well as the other girls did and worried that I’d embarrassed and disappointed my favorite (at that time) man in all the world. My friend and her dad sat with us after having about as much success as we did.

Pretty soon Daddy whispered in my ear, “Want to go get an ice cream sundae?”

Talk about the coolest Dad at the dance!

Daddy provided a way out, and that strawberry sundae with whipped cream and a cherry on top was more delicious than any that had come before it.

Three years ago, after a seventeen-year remission, the Mantle Cell Lymphoma returned with a vengeance. Daddy fought it with the courage and determination of a warrior, and we learned a new Father-Daughter dance.

And once again, it was such a big deal.

This one involved letting him lead no matter what because he was still the dad and at sixty, I was still the kid. Once again, we stepped on each other’s toes as we journeyed through cancer’s deathly pace loving each other more in our sometimes clumsy and off-beat way.

This time, there were no ice cream sundaes, and we danced all the way to the end. Then suddenly, I was alone on the Father-Daughter dance floor we’d shared for so long.

Hours later, as I grieved what was and then in one last breath I wasn’t, I held on tight to God’s words . . .

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (ESV)

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

I chose and continue to choose His comfort.

Please don’t misunderstand – I don’t say that easily because my grief (like many of yours) is deep and wide and worse than I imagined it would be. And like you, I find myself crying when I least expect it as the sorrow stabs my insides and literally takes my breath away.

Until I got here, I had no idea.

But in the ache and loss, I am also greatly comforted by God the Father whose perfect love, grace, mercy, and comfort are eternal.

And that’s the biggest deal of all.

As I weep, I thank God for Clarence Pater – the man He chose as my earthly Daddy and who instead of feeling ashamed of me at that long ago dance, bought me an ice cream sundae and smiled at me across the table as if that moment was the whole point of our evening.

And that was a big beautiful deal!

Until Next Time,

Joy

The post Our Father-Daughter Dance appeared first on Joy DeKok .

A New (to me) Kind of Waiting

This downy woodpecker’s body language communicated anticipation. He sat there, eager and ready for his turn at the suet lunch counter. When the second the other downy left, he was there.

[image error]

I know there are times when it’s important to wait passively, and I’m not good at it. For so long I believed all waiting (especially when waiting for God) required a resignation of sorts – a reluctant standing still. I prefer action and at the very least fidgeting.

Over and over I wondered (at times with my teeth clenched) if there was another kind of waiting that I’d missed along the way that would still please God.

Like Mary of Bethany. She sat, but her sitting was full of energy while she waited to hear every word Jesus spoke. At first glance, her position at His feet seems passive, but I’ve come to believe her waiting was full of energy like a woman on the edge of her seat – eager, intense, poised to move, and ready to receive something great. Like the downy woodpecker.

Psalm 27 is one of my favorites and people who know this have often reminded of verse 15 which says, “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” (ESV) I get the feeling what they want is for me to cool my jets.

My heart desires to do right and dig deeper. When I feel that way, I turn to Strong’s Concordance. Oh, my goodness – I learned that the word used in this verse for wait is a verb – it’s not a passive thing, and the definition is: looking eagerly for, to linger, to expect, to hope for.

This kind of waiting is not sitting around with my arms crossed over my chest, my toe-tapping in boredom with my eyes closed so no one will see me rolling my eyes (but they might assume I was praying) and then pretending that this kind of waiting is sacred.

It’s anything but. Instead, this right kind of waiting (in certain circumstances) is active and motivated by hope. Sort of a holy kind of fidgeting. Yeah, I know, that’s probably stretching it.

Anyway . . .

While waiting for the birds to come and get their pictures taken – okay – biding my time until they to come in for the seeds I put out to bring them closer, I’ve been remembering times of waiting that were active.

When Grandma Joy was coming to our house. While we waited for her to arrive, Mama prepared foods she would enjoy, Mama and Daddy planned on sleeping in my bed, and I’d sleep with Grandma in theirs on the main level, and Mama made a list of the things her mother liked to do. My brother anticipated games of checkers, and I could hardly wait just to be with her and tell her all that was in my heart. I got out the things I wanted to show her – like that book report I received an “A” on, or the poem I’d written, or a funky flower I’d drawn.

We waited and counted the days and kept busy getting ready. One thing on my list was making sure I took no babysitting jobs and didn’t make plans with my friends. When she arrived, we lingered longer at the table with her or sat close by while she played the piano and sang.

Our waiting to do the other stuff in our lives was also active and enthusiastic, and we didn’t return to normal until she got back on the bus to go home.

To me, there is a grace in this kind of active, joyful waiting.

I’ve also been pondering The Parable of the Talents. I do NOT want to be the servant who buried the talents he’d been given to do something with because he waited too long, did nothing, and then blamed his intentional decisions on his master.

Sometimes, even when I knew better, I’ve said, “Well, it must not have been God’s will for my life.” Often, even before I’ve finished that sentence, there’s been a nudge of conviction in my spirit, and I’ve wondered to myself, “What if it was God’s will for me to do what it would have taken to see that happen?”

The possibility that I blamed God for not using the talents He’s given me to do something, even if I can’t measure the results is enough to make my heart sick.

The other servants didn’t try – they actively obeyed their boss and increased his investment in them while waiting for him to return.

When it’s time for me to leave here for heaven or Jesus comes for all of us who believe, I want to have done what He gave me to do!

The same day the downy above stopped by so did this sparrow, and it seemed to me he looked right at me, and it felt like he might be saying, “What are you waiting for? Take the picture already!”

[image error]

And there was that familiar tug in my gut and this question, “What about those stories you want to write and the new way you want to get them and your photographs out there?”

I was procrastinating because new things are risky and when something scares me, I’m good at passive waiting. Yeah – I know – hypocrisy is an annoying thing.

Today I said yes to a new way of doing things, and while there are no guarantees, internally, I’m sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to take in new lessons willing to do my part to make it work.

And here’s the cool part: no matter what happens I’m choosing to wait actively. Courageously. Enthusiastically. Hopefully. Boldly.

Until Next Time,

Joy

Please don’t leave yet – I have more news for you!

Are you looking for a spring devotional or a lovely Mother’s Day gift for the mom who loves the birds? She might really enjoy a copy of Under His Wings. 

Click the cover to learn more.

[image error]

 

 

 

 

 

And, the free Photo Focus for April 2018 is this beautiful guy. Click photo to download him.

[image error]

Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Here’s more about the new journey I’m embarking on . . .

This is the question I’m hearing most about what I’m up to: What is Patreon and what’s in it for me?

Click the button below and find out, but come on back so you can find the link to my Patreon page and see what I’m up to out there.

Become a Patron!

Find me on Patreon HERE.

[image error]

The post A New (to me) Kind of Waiting appeared first on Joy DeKok .

Day 5 – Featured Author Joy DeKok ~ Me!

[image error]

Whether I’m is writing fiction or non, I am determined to write what’s in my heart – no matter how scary that is!  I live with my husband Jon just outside of Pine Island MN on thirty-five acres of field and forest with their dogs Sophie and Tucker.

[image error]

 

When I’m not writing or reading, I’m roaming our land taking nature photos.

[image error]

When the dream to write was born in my 4-year old heart, I was certain I would write kid’s books because well, I was one.  And in the process, I have written and published 3 children’s books as well as two novels, 1 novella, and a devotional.

Today’s focus is my first novel – the one I really didn’t want to write and actually asked God to pick another writer. Finally, certain He had already picked me, I wrote it.

Rain Dance:

[image error]

What happens when a Christian woman facing a childless future and a woman seeking an abortion are waiting to see the same doctor? And what if after that “chance” encounter they are unable to forget each other?

To learn more about these books and the others Joy has written, visit her website.

If you’d like to receive updates from Joy, you can sign up on her contact page.

I’d also love it if you joined me on my Joy DeKok Author & Blogger page on Facebook.

Today’s word is: brewed

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The post Day 5 – Featured Author Joy DeKok ~ Me! appeared first on Joy DeKok .

The Spring Fever Giveaway is LIVE!

10 Days ~10 Authors ~ 10 Books!

[image error]

10 days of Spring Fever starts TODAY! For the next 10 days, discover great deals on books, and get to know amazing Christian Fiction authors. Stories of redemption and grace, romance and mystery, and much more. Tales that will take your mind off the bitter cold and long, dark days of winter until the thaw has begun and spring has finally sprung!

With 10 Christian fiction authors involved, you have at least 10 chances to win awesome prizes! Plus, extra chances to win by entering the “Word of the Day” (found within each day’s posting), answering a simple poll, or tweeting about the promo!

First up on the Spring Fever docket is Barbara Ellen Brink.

An award-winning author, Barbara writes action-packed mysteries brimming with suspense and interwoven with a thread of romance. She grew up on a small fruit farm in Washington State but now lives in the mean “burbs” of Minnesota. In her spare time, she likes to take her motorcycle for a spin, hang out with friends, or go hiking with her husband and their spoiled dog. She is currently working on the 4th book in her Double Barrel Mysteries series, and the 3rd in her Christian romantic suspense series, Second Chances.

Running Home is FREE at Amazon thru March 2nd (reg price 3.99)

Split Sense is on sale for .99¢ at Amazon (reg. price 4.99)

Here is a little about Barbara’s TWO book deals:

In Running Home, Ivy’s husband disappears in a cloud of suspicion and leaves her and the children to pick up the pieces of their lives and move on without him. Back in her hometown, she dreams that everything will be better. She can start over and hopefully not make the same mistakes she made in the past. But her philandering husband left her with more than bills to pay and children to raise. He left her in a world of trouble. The FBI thinks she knows something and the bad guys think she has something.

When her husband is found murdered, special agent Samson Sinclair is assigned to keep an eye on her. He’s willing to take a bullet for her, but can she trust him with her heart?

Ivy’s attempt to assemble the broken pieces of her life is proving harder than she anticipated. Will her husband’s secrets push her over the edge or into the arms of grace?

[image error]Split Sense is a Christian thriller that interweaves the lives of two families, twins separated at birth, and two different but unbelievable gifts that each child discovers which impacts their lives and others in startling ways.

Connect with Barbara online:

Facebook

Twitter

Bookbub Author Page

Webpage

The 3rd book in the Second Chances series will be (fingers crossed) coming soon! Barbara’s first grandbaby is due to arrive in a couple of weeks, so she won’t make any set-in-stone promises, but visit her webpage and/or sign up for her newsletter for all the newest updates!

***Sign up for Barbara’s newsletter on her webpage and get a FREE copy of Entangled!***

For another chance to win in the Spring Fever promo, enter the secret Word of the Day:  blatherskite.

Here’s the Spring  Fever giveaway link:  a Rafflecopter giveaway 

Be sure to stop by tomorrow to meet the prolific Brenda S. Anderson!

Until Tomorrow,

Joy

The post The Spring Fever Giveaway is LIVE! appeared first on Joy DeKok .

Spring Fever Giveaway Starts Tomorrow! 10 Days. 10 Authors 10 Books

[image error]
Spring Fever Giveaway

Grand Prize: Kindle with 9 e-books & an autographed copy of Counting on the Cowboy.

Additional Prizes: Five (5) $10 Amazon gift cards

Scroll below image for details on how to enter and links to the Featured Authors’ blogs.

[image error]

How to Enter

Contest runs from Wednesday, February 28th through Friday, March 9th, 2018.

Visit each featured author’s website to enter via Rafflecopter.

One entry option is “Word of the Day.” Each featured author will include a Secret Word in her blog post to be used for this entry.

Winners will be chosen by Rafflecopter and announced on Saturday, March 10th, 2018.

Featured Authors

Wednesday, February 28th: Barbara Ellen Brink

Thursday, March 1st: Brenda S. Anderson

Friday, March 2nd: Lindsey Brackett

Saturday, March 3rd: Johnnie Alexander

Sunday, March 4th: Joy DeKok

Monday, March 5th: Dawn Ford

Tuesday, March 6th: Kimberly Rose Johnson

Wednesday, March 7th: 

Thursday, March 8th: Stacy Monson

Friday, March 9th: Shannon Taylor Vannatter 

Stay Tuned . . .

Joy

The post Spring Fever Giveaway Starts Tomorrow! 10 Days. 10 Authors 10 Books appeared first on Joy DeKok .

When Perfect Doesn’t Happen

[image error]I enjoy taking photos and love it when I get to take good ones and sometimes even near perfect ones.

But sometimes perfect – even almost perfect doesn’t happen. 

When I get ready to go outside, the last thing I do is hang my camera around my neck. That action sets my goal: get great pictures. I feel the determination settle over me internally as real as the strap on my neck.

To accomplish this, I must stand or sit very still. I tend to fidget, so this is not easy, but I want these pictures very much I’m willing to be uncomfortable and to fight my inner restlessness certain it will be worth it all the while I know that perfect photos might not be the result.

Many times, when the moment comes I press the button only to see that in the half a second before the click, I missed it. Because birds flitter, flutter and move a lot.

Their goals and mine are not the same. 

Often, they need to clean their tiny beaks on a branch.

[image error]

Sometimes I sneeze or sigh (I’m fidgety and dramatic) and they hide.

[image error]

Other times perfect doesn’t happen. Not even close, but the moment is incredibly delightful, and I laugh out loud.

[image error]

And most of the time imperfection is its own kind of perfection.

[image error]

Until Next Time,

Joy

P. S. And sometimes almost perfection happens.

[image error]

Sign up to get the latest from Joy's blog

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Email Address

Do you like my bird posts? If so, you might enjoy reading Under His Wings – Lessons Learned From God While Watching the Birds – Learn more click HERE. Or to see it on Amazon, click the book cover.

[image error]

The post When Perfect Doesn’t Happen appeared first on Joy DeKok .

Tenacity ~ A Lesson Learned From God

[image error]

I admired his tenacity. The feeders were full. On the ground was a fresh and generous scattering of all their favorite treats. I grinned at this bird who decided to eat coneflower seeds, and he was willing to do what it took to get the best of them.

He knew I was out there because I spoke to him when he perched on the slender stem of the once vibrant wildflower. He cocked his head at me several times and seemed to look at me.

We were partners in a way. He worked. I snapped pictures. When I got in the house, I studied the photos, and something about him challenged the discouragement and doubt I’d allowed into my thoughts.

I was tempted to quit writing. And taking pictures. And all the work I love to do because sometimes it’s hard. Harder than I think I have the energy for. It wasn’t a pity party (I know because I’ve had many of those in the past – in fact, I could be this kind of party planner!).

The truth glared at me. After many years of striving, the results that seemed to matter most (bottom line/balance sheet kind of stuff) were firmly on the negative side and made me shudder. On paper, it didn’t make practical sense to keep going.

I knew a lesson was on the way because the memory of this bird would not let me go.  He was so . . .

Determined.

[image error]

Patient.

[image error]

Persistent.

[image error]

Steadfast.

[image error]

Resolved.

[image error]

Even when it was harder and might not have made sense to the others enjoying the seeds from me, he would not quit until he’d reached his goal – a belly full of what the old coneflower had to offer.

He persevered and refused to give up.

[image error]

I looked at the photos again and again.

When I did, the words and faith of a woman who encountered Jesus (Matthew 9:22b-21 NLT) snagged at my heart.

She touched the fringe of his robe, for she thought, “If I can just touch his robe, I will be healed.”

This woman had been sick for years with no relief. Reaching out for the hem of his garment made no sense. It was socially and religiously risky for a woman to touch Him or His clothing. Besides, although she didn’t know this, He was on His way to raise a little girl from the dead.

Still, she reached . . . her circumstance tenuous and her faith tenacious.

Jesus turned around, and when he saw her he said, “Daughter, be encouraged! Your faith has made you well.” And the woman was healed at that moment. (Matthew 9:22 NLT)

The months since I took these pictures have been full of prayers and pondering. I thought the love for what I do might gently go away and He’d show me another thing or two to do — something that made more practical sense.

But God didn’t take anything away from me nor did He change my course. Instead, He used this woman and that goldfinch to teach me the value of a tenacious heart in my faith, my purpose, and my work.

Remembering the goldfinch, I realize God placed a new motive in my heart: to write, take pictures, and share them for the love of it. Now I have a new bottom line that makes perfect sense to me.

“Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity.” -Louis Pasteur

Tenaciously Yours,

Joy

Still, she reached . . . her circumstance tenuous and her faith tenacious. #Tenacity #LessonFromGod #GoldfinchTweet This
Now I have a new bottom line that makes perfect sense to me. #Tenacity #LessonFromGod #Goldfinch #ConeflowerTweet This

The post Tenacity ~ A Lesson Learned From God appeared first on Joy DeKok .

Suddenly Sixty

[image error]

Three years ago today, Mama left here for heaven. I wanted to do more to remember her than stand at her grave. I wanted to share her with you. And, on the selfish side, I wanted to write about her because that’s one way I can still honor her.

In a couple of days is my birthday. Sixty seems like a significant number. I like it though. Mostly. It comes with changes and a few surprises. My new limitations continue to catch me off guard. I’m not fond of them, but they are here to stay.

Before dementia stole her completely, we talked about me being this age. She knew she wouldn’t be here for this birthday even if she were still in her chair. It hurt knowing that, but she was determined to have this conversation.

She sat in her chair by the window looking the at baby pictures of me that she loved most.

[image error]

I asked her, “Did you ever think your baby would one day be sixty?”

She smiled and looked at me. “Now and then I wondered what you’d be like when you got older.”

Older. Yikes. That word.

Hoping the shock of it didn’t show I asked, “What did you think?”

“I thought you’d be like your Grandma Joy.”

[image error]

“Wow. I like that.”

She nodded and looked at more old photos.

[image error]

“Was I a difficult child?”

“Sometimes, but not often.”

“What about when I was a teenager?”

[image error]

“You were emotional, but after you accepted Jesus, you were spiritually grounded. That helped. You didn’t rebel, but you could stomp up the stairs to your room.” She paused to look out the window. “Mostly you were a good girl.”

“I was still selfish.”

“Yes, but we all are.”

We sat in the quiet as she turned more pages in her photo album. Then she pointed at another favorite. “I love this one of you and your dad.”

[image error]

“Me too.”

There was more turning of the plastic-covered pages.

“You were a beautiful graduate and bride.”

[image error]

[image error]

By now there were tears in her voice. Each page made the passing of our years so real.

For a while longer, we lingered over family pictures remembering the people we both loved, feelings, words, food, clothes, and cars.

Then she shut the book and patted it with her hand – three pats. Funny thing about that – it was always three. On my back when she hugged me or was encouraging me to get going on a project or to a place. And on my hand when she comforted me.

She had grown weary in our remembering, but I wanted to know one more thing. “What should I do as I grow older, Mama?”

“First you can get me a more coffee.”

That sentence represented so much change. It was my turn to serve her – she could no longer jump out of the chair and do that for us. As I carried her cup to her, she looked at me and said, “The years have gone so much faster than I expected them to.”

With her cup held in her now fragile hands she gave me the following advice:

Trust God more. Always more.
Tell everyone you know about Jesus. He is all that matters.
You’re way too hard on yourself. Be kind to my daughter.
Give yourself credit for all you’ve accomplished. I am so proud of you.
Let your regrets go. God has forgiven you. Forgive yourself.
When I am gone, honor your dad. He will need you even if he doesn’t want to admit it. Promise me you will. Promise God. (I did and I am.)
Love your husband – no one loves you the way Jonathan does. Not even me.
Love your dad, brother, and all the kids in your life more. No matter what. (I do.)
Stay true to your friends. You are going to need them. (I do.)
Only apologize if you did it – you’re not responsible for everything wrong in the world, Joy.
Laugh a lot.

I used to get shushed a lot and reminded her, “But Mama, I laugh really loud.”

[image error]

[image error]

Her voice grew gently stern – “I said laugh a lot. Laugh like you. Be loud. Be joyful. Be you. Do it for me.”

Then she took a picture out of her book – she had two copies – her favorite one of her and me – and handed it to me. That is how much I have always loved you. And will still love you this much when I change and can’t tell you.” She pointed at her heart, “No matter what I say or do – the love will be there.”

[image error]

And before I headed home to Jonathan I asked, “Mama, were you right – am I like Grandma Joy?”

She smiled, and her eyes twinkled. “You are like her, me, your Grandma Pater and Grandma Pearl. You are a beautiful mix of us.”

[image error]

“Well, Mama doesn’t get much better than that.”

“I’m glad you think so.”

Mama was right – it seems like I went from here. . .

[image error]

. . .to sixty in what seems like no time at all.

[image error]

In a couple of days, it will be official: I will be suddenly sixty. And I will laugh. Out loud. For her. For me. I think it will feel really good – both the age and the laughter.

Until Next Time,

Joy

When Anger Losses {A Lesson Learned From God}

[image error]

There was something dry and brittle in my heart – something that didn’t belong.

The day was gloomy gray, and so was my spirit. Everything felt heavy, and tears flowed with no warning. My whole body felt weary and wounded. My jaw ached from the constant clenching and my shoulders from hunching. And my head hurt the way it does if I miss that second cup of coffee in a day.

[image error]

Out by the wildflower garden, I stopped and asked God, “What in the world is wrong with me?” I knew the answer, and I didn’t like it much.

Like most of us, I carried sadness in my heart, but I couldn’t blame my defeat and discouragement on that.

Instead, it was time to face it head-on – I was angry in a quiet, barren, prickly, dreary, stubborn, prideful, worn, sinful kind of way. It wasn’t the first time and the last time wasn’t all that long ago.

[image error]

I spent some time justifying the anger and reminded God (yes I did!) about the deliberately unkind and shaming things said to me about me, undeserved criticism, and mean words spoken behind my back shared by someone else to my face. I reminded Him that they had all been wrong and they had been.

But there was another side of my sin – I’d let too many sunsets pass without releasing my indignation.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” Ephesians 4: 26 & 27 (NIV)

“But, Lord!”

My spirit was still a mess of tangled emotions and dark thoughts and self-justified anger as I said to Him, “Their false exhortations came with no edification!”

I was bent out of shape and fretting, and on the brink of bitterness.

[image error]

And I wanted Him to relieve my pain by assuring me that my anger was the right kind and that I had His approval.

That didn’t happen.

Words and tears tumbled out as conviction continued to prick my conscience with a steady, gentle, firmness.

[image error]

Something had to give, and I knew it had to be me.

I remember inhaling – the way I imagine I might if I was drowning and broke the surface for a gulp of air. When I exhaled resistance fled as if carried out of me in the white vapor.

Memorized verses came to mind, and instead of resisting them, God gave me the courage to listen to His Word.

 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” (James 1:19-20 NIV)
“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NIV)
“But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips.” Colossians 3:8
“Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.” Psalm 37:8 (NIV)

When God and I finished, a soft hurt remained instead of the un-right, hard anger. It was a beautiful relief.

[image error]

Back in the house, my cheeks were a little scratchy from where tears had dried in the chilly wind, and I was thirsty. I patted little Vaseline on my face and poured myself a big cup of coffee. When I sat down, and our dogs snuggled close, it was as if God poured a pitcher full of peace over my now quiet heart.

Just like He did the last time.

Because that’s the way He is.

I thanked Him and admitted, “Sadness doesn’t hurt nearly as much as anger.”

Since that day, God has graciously filled my heart with mercy for those who were unkind. That’s not my doing – it is 100% His. I cannot say I love what they said, but I can tell you I care deeply for each of them and no longer hold any of their words against them.

This is what happens when anger loses, and God’s love wins.

Until Next Time,

Joy

There was something dry and brittle in my heart – something that didn’t belong. http://bit.ly/2hvRKamTweet This
This is what happens when anger losses and God’s love wins. http://bit.ly/2hvRKamTweet This