Rita Arens's Blog, page 12

Reconnecting to the Role

This past weekend I was grouchy. I'm at the hardest part of my half-marathon training, so I'm tired physically a lot. We just had a week solid of sultry, sweaty days and thick summer nights. Labor Day means the neighborhood pools closed, it means the end of summer, it means looking ahead and jam-packed schedules and my husband's weekday travel and early-morning choir runs. It means it will get cold again, and I hate being cold more than any other weather scenario. Freezing drizzle. I hate fre...

Growing Up

"Did I used to put my head here?" she asked, even though she knew the answer, that this is a dance we do.

"Yes, right here on my shoulder. And then, finally, you would sleep from 5-7 am."

I remember those days, dragging myself to work to pay for diapers and formula and daycare. It was a dark time.

She rests her tween head on my shoulder now. I vow to stay for five counts of one hundred.

I feel her body grow heavy, begin to twitch.

I remember those days when her body was only two feet long...

I Am the Party

"You are the party," she said.

We were in college. I'm sure I was crying over what the kids now call FOMO. It was easy to do at a party school when I was trying so hard to balance perfectionism and grades and social acceptance and my bad habit of seeing my self-worth reflected (or not) in boys' eyes.

It was a reassuring thought, then and now, when even at forty-one I occasionally feel left out of this get-together or that trip. When I think about places I can't get time away from work to vi...

The Transformation of Chateau Travolta: New Deck Edition

(This post originally appeared on BlogHer.com. And look, I made a Pinterest-y thing!)

Because I'm not like a professional blogger or anything, I forgot to take rock-solid "before" pictures, so some parts of the deck are already removed here.

In recent years, we realized the deck was getting seriously squishy. As in, someone might actually fall through soon.

We started scheming for affordable ways to replace the deck, because our taste is never in line with our budget reality. Then my...

Kizzy Had Surgery. Very Drastic Surgery.

Well, a year and a half after I wrote Help, My Cat Can't Pee on BlogHer, my sweet little black cat, Kizzy, almost died again from a total urinary blockage. Thankfully, before he blocked completely, we'd already decided to take the rather dramatic step of perineal urethrostomy surgery.

Cats become candidates for this crazy surgery after they've been blocked three or more times, according to my vet. A year ago, we thought we'd never do it. The surgery is drastic: The vet cuts off the cat's peni...

The Little Black Cat Had Surgery

Kizzy has had an extremely tough week. I'm going to write about the whole thing on BlogHer and will add a link here when I do. The good news is he is recuperating and so far hasn't had complications and can take the cone off hopefully Monday.

Earthquakes. And Iran. And Ta-Nehisi Coates.

Note: I wrote this on the plane on the way to #BlogHer15, so this post is already ten days old. After consulting some friends, I decided to publish it anyway. I don't really care if it doesn't win me any popularity contests. This post was springing from my fingers as I was still reading Coates' book, and that hasn't happened to me in a long time.

I didn't know President Obama planned to speak today. I flipped to NPR out of boredom during the hour-long ride to the airport.

Obama talked about...

Traveling Alone

I'm traveling this week to #BlogHer15 in New York City. Packing always reminds me of the combined apprehension and freedom I feel taking off on my own. Knowing there will be no one to watch your bags while you use the facilities changes your suitcase strategy.

When I was a senior in high school, I'd sometimes drive the four hours from my hometown to The University of Iowa to visit friends. The closer I got to exit 242, the more nervous I'd get. I'd be lying if I didn't admit on every solo tri...

The In-Between Space

My daughter is in between needing daycare and being able to get a job during the summer, and we are sort of flummoxed about it. She has alternated between staying with me as I work and attending a parks & rec summer camp that is unfulfilling but what we can afford. We can't afford a nanny. She doesn't need a babysitter.

She's at the age that I remember loving summer the most, when the little kid stuff -- like swingsets and trampolines and splash parks -- is still fun and nostalgic but she doe...

The Sky

Today my daughter looked up and said, "Mama, no matter how fast we drive, we never reach that cloud. Do we all see the same sky?"

And I said, "Yes. There's only one sun. One moon. We all see it."

This month, I am happy and sad for us.

I am happy that same-sex couples can now be recognized as spouses anywhere in the U. S.

I am sad that we laid to rest yet more black humans who did no harm. All they did was be black.

Again.

And I think, we all see the same moon. We all see the same sun. We...