Lisa Endlich's Blog, page 7

The 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before My Kids Left for College

Are your kids leaving for college soon? Here are 10 things we wish we’d known…

Tracy Hargen and her family at the University of Miami. (T. Hargen)

10 things to know about life after you drop your teen at college1. For the first couple of months after “drop off” don’t do anything.

Don’t make a ton of plans, or big decisions, or commit to anything. The lead-up to helping your youngest move into their new digs is exhausting — physically and emotionally. I thought I’d want to jump into a million th...

Dear Girl in Target, Please Let Your Dad Do This for You

I had empathy for this man (who was obviously the dad of a college freshman) as he stood
across the aisle from me, because in his quest to find the right tool to adjust to a new chapter in life, I saw the familiar angst of parental transitions.

Father wants to send his soon-to-be-freshman daughter with the tools (literal and figurative) she needs to live independently. (Shutterstock pixelheadphoto digitalskillet)

He was so earnest in his pursuit, yet was so quickly rebuked, that I felt compe...

The Definition of Success: Life Lessons In a Letter to My Children

As our third of four children prepares to leave home, I’m overcome with a quiet, profound joy.
We’ve raised another decent, capable human being, and that, to me, is success.

In a world that often defines worth by job titles and salaries, I’ve wrestled with my own sense of value as a mostly stay-at-home, sometimes-paid-to-work mom. My ambition has never been tied to promotions or paychecks. Instead, I’ve tried to model a deeper form of success: one rooted in values, not valuables.

The other...

When Your ‘Grown and Flown’ Moves Out of Town

Last July, my oldest daughter, who had just graduated from college, accepted a job offer in New York City. The fact that she had found a job — one that she happened to be very excited about — was reason to celebrate. And yet, as happy as I was for her, I was in no mood to do cartwheels.

Why would anyone want to leave home and move away from their “cool” parents? (Twenty20 @crystalmariesing)

I always knew that her moving to another city was a possibility, and I understood that a grown chil...

What I Want My Teens to Know About Being ‘Average’

A simple definition of average is: Someone who is just like everyone else; an average person.

What I want my teens to know about being “average.” (Shutterstock Mark Herreid)

What? That can’t be. When did it happen that we don’t celebrate normal anymore? I’ll be the first to admit it and shout it from the rooftops….” I am not perfect, and I’m pretty much average.” My husband and I grew up in the Midwest. We went to a college in-state that was the right fit for both of us. We had wonderful experie...

College Readiness: How to Know if Your Teen Is Prepared

I sent three kids to college without fully thinking about whether they were ready. When I saw some red flags in high school — missed homework assignments and poor time management — I chose to ignore those problems, rationalizing that there is a lot of growth between ages 17 and 18, and these issues would work themselves out.

I reasoned that if my kids were accepted to a college, they must be ready. They seemed to recount their life stories in those applications; indeed, the college admissions co...

This Grandparent Love Is Slower, Softer, Sweeter

I’m a grandmother now. And even though I have more life behind me than in front of me, or maybe because of that, I find myself slowing down rather than speeding up.

When I was a young mother, I was always racing. There were schedules to keep, meals to prepare, extracurriculars to get to, There was always somewhere to be or something to be done. 

There were a million things to check off my proverbial list, items listed in black ink, crossed out in red. Days were measured by what we accom...

I Begged My Parents Not to Come to Graduation: The Long Road Home

I begged my parents not to come to my college graduation. It was an 8-hour drive from Brooklyn to Buffalo and I was only attending a small departmental graduation in my communication department.

I begged my parents not to come to my college graduation. (Twenty20 @sineadles)

“It’s such a long trip,” I pleaded.

“Nope, we’re coming,” my mother said.

I begged my parents not to come to graduation.

My reverse psychology could never work on two psychologists. I really wanted to hang on to my last days ...

Favorite College Dorm Room Ideas for 2025 — Adorable and Easy!

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Here are some of my best tips (and secrets…) for making your college dorm room look more like a home and less like a prison cell.

As you and your mom begin to make a college packing list and BEFORE you do ANY dorm shopping for freshman year, find the residence life section on the college website. Look for the dorm rules and prohibited ite...

6 Things You Should Never Do as the Parent of a College Student

As a parent, I know how hard it can be to let go and allow our children to manage the bumps and bruises of life. I wish to protect my daughter from every difficulty and shield her from every hurt. However, as a higher education professional, I know I can’t, and shouldn’t, parent with that as my priority.

In my work in higher education, I see examples of parental over-involvement that may come from love but may not, in the end, succeed in producing confident, capable adults. (Chevanon on Unsplash...