Lisa Endlich's Blog, page 444

I Care About Your Kid (But I Don’t Always Like Him)

Dear Parent,

Today I sent you an email to inform you that your child has failed to turn in yet another assignment. With only a few weeks left in the semester, he is in danger of failing my class, and I thought you might be concerned about his grade. Turns out I was wrong. Instead of asking me if there is anything he can do to make up the work, or what he needs to do to pass, you blamed me. You accused me of not liking your kid.

To be perfectly frank, he’s not my favorite.

He is rude. He lies...

College Rejection: How to Take the Sting Out of Bad News

Rejection stings. And a rejection from a college your teen loved and hoped to attend, stings badly. College counselors, parents and peers will all try to tell him not to take it personally. They will tell her the admissions office gets more applications than they can possibly accept and many well qualified candidates are rejected. But there will still be anguish. College rejection always feels personal, deeply personal.

We asked a few experts for their advice on ways to move past this let dow...

Lisa Damour Guides Parents Through Teen Turbulence in “Untangled”

Parenting teens can be frightening. We experience fear for the challenges and dangers our daughters (and sons) will face, for the memories of our own (not so spotless) past and the knowledge that this begins the slide toward true separateness.

With Dr. Lisa Damour’sUntangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthoodin hand, raising teens is just a bit less frightening. Her book is grounded in the most up-to-date research yet reads as a practical and heartfelt guide....

Separation Anxiety: From the Playground to the College Dorm

My daughter, Frannie, has just left home for college and I have been struggling, unable to banish a memory of her at age five. We were at the park and Frannie, upon my urging, had dared to leave my side to join a group of neighborhood kids. Frannie hated separation, whether for school, a play date, or a pajama party. But I thought she should be able to play a game taking place only a dozen yards from where I sat. I promised her that she would be safe without me.

The game Frannie entered was...

Parenting a Moody Teen: It’s Not About Us

He comes in and slams the door, face closed tight, ear buds in sockets, sweat patches under armpits, ready to repeat his daily moan about the heat, like a middle-aged menopausal woman instead of an almost seventeen year old moody teen.

“Hi. How was it?” I venture, trying to work out the color of the cloud above his head and win eye contact with this person who is my boy and yet a man, but his gaze barely registers me as he winds the ear buds around his phone.

“K” he fires back with the final...

3rd Quarter Slump: 6 Expert Tips to Help Parents Survive

It didn’t dawn on me until the other day that we had arrived at that dreaded place already; the one that strikes nationwide about this time of year. The phenomenon that happens right alongside of Valentine’s day, except there is no love shared with this one.

While greeting students on the first day of second semester, an 11th grader shouted at me from across the hallway “if I have to stay in my 1st period class for the rest of the year, I’m not doing any work.” Because I am an adult and I ne...

Learning Disabilities: How to Succeed in College From Day One

Students with learning disabilities can learn much from this former college president. He overcame his own academic struggles and offers help for college-bound students.

When I left home for a Midwestern college many moons ago, I was a shipwreck waiting to happen. In high school I was such a slow reader that I could never complete the SATs and as a result my scores were embarrassingly low. My grades, too, were mediocre and the only reason I got into a good college was because of a persuasive...

Son’s Girlfriend: The Big Mistake You Need to Avoid

The other day I ran into the mother of my son’s former girlfriend. Our kids, who started dating in high school and are now in college, broke up fairly recently. Our encounter was not awkward and I was glad to see her and hear how her daughter was doing; when she was my son’s girlfriend, I had enjoyed her company.

I have a friend who told me that until a ring is offered and accepted, I shouldn’t get too attached to the young women my boys are dating. I had heard this advice from other people...

How a Parent Portal Undermines Kids Academic Success

Does your kid’s school have a parent portal? This parent thinks that information in real-time has a serious downside.

I’ve been a mom with a school-age child for nineteen years now. When my children started school their report cards were mailed to us twice a year, once before December break and again before summer vacation. You only knew what your child chose to tell you about his grades, which gave the little darling ample opportunity for trickery and subterfuge. When your child, all innocen...

Merit Scholarship: Research Schools Now to Save Money Later

Here’s how to help your teen research colleges to find a merit scholarship, well before he applies to a single school.

Many families approach the college process by finding schools they think will be a good academic and social fit for their student and figure out the finances after acceptances arrive. Unfortunately, reviewing college costs after all the applications have been submitted, can leave a family with limited options. Too often families wait till FAFSA time or worse yet, when they re...