Lisa Endlich's Blog, page 361

Why You Should Stop Saying “Just Do Your Best”

I have said it to my teen, and you have said it to your teen: “Just do your best.”

“You do not need to be perfect,” we say, “just as long as you do your best…in math, in dance class, in science, in English, in soccer, etc.

Why do our teens always have to do their best?

What is the message we send when we tell them that their “best” is required at all times.

We say this with the best of intentions. We often say it to ease the pressure, to let our teen know it is OK if they do not achieve the...

There’s Not Just ONE Path to Adulthood. This is the One My Kids Aren’t On

It’s college admissions season.

The stakes are high. The pressure is high. The SAT scores, the GPAs, the volunteering, the FAFSAs, the AP exams, the letters of recommendation, the applications.

The campus visits with their requisite airline tickets or long drives, the application fees, all packed into two final years of high school. Parents of high school kids know this game.

In theory, all college-bound students are following that path, working themselves into nervous breakdowns to turn the...

3 Reasons Your Teen Should Look at Colleges Far From Home

My job is to help students identify colleges that “fit” them academically, socially and personally. I make sure each of my students enters his or her senior year of high school armed with a list of potential colleges. Criteria explored and considered include academic rigor, available activities, campus vibe, possible majors, climate, availability of academic assistance, campus size, class size, cost, religion, political climate and more.

Before I get started on my extensive research to find a...

How Do You Raise Teens Who Will Grow Up Close to Each Other?

One of my favorite photos of my kids was taken when my son was four and my daughter was two.

They are sitting side by side, with their backs to the camera, playing in the sand on the beach. She’s wearing a pink sun hat and he’s wearing an orange fisherman’s hat. While you can’t see it from the picture, I snapped the photo because my heart swelled as I watched them quietly share their sand toys without words.

I remember that day clearly, too. It had been a hassle to make it to the beach with t...

What I Want My Kids to Know About Being “Average”

A simple definition of average is: Someone who is just like everyone else; a normal person.

What?  That can’t be.  When did it happen that we just don’t celebrate normal anymore?  I’ll be the first to admit it, and shout it from the rooftops…”I am not perfect, and I’m pretty much average”.  My husband and I grew up in the Midwest.  We went to a college in state that was the right fit for both of us.  We had wonderful experiences, played college sports, traveled abroad, and landed great career...

When Your Children Leave You Will Still Have the Dog

I was walking my dog in early January when I overheard a woman say (to my dog), “I see your mom bought herself a hat, but didn’t buy anything for you.” This was true. I had succumbed to Philadelphia Eagles fever and bought myself a beanie. The paraphernalia popped up everywhere prior to the Super Bowl and it was hard to ignore.

The Eagles had embraced the underdog label and our entire family was caught up in the experience. The woman was right, I should have bought our dog something to commem...

What it is About My Old Car That Makes Me Sentimental

“You should get a newer car,” my wife suggests gently.

Without even a pause, I sternly state, “I don’t want a different car.”

Because, no matter what “they” say, my car doesn’t speak for me.

Oh, yes, car ads love to promote the idea that the look of your vehicle sends a message about you, before you’ve even opened your mouth or stepped one foot out of the car.

Well, if my car creates people’s first impression of me, then I too, am slightly salty, make strange noises when running (ME! Running…...

Here are the 6 Moms Who Helped Raise My Son

There is something to be said for people who know your history, especially people who you have raised your kids with.  It’s a bond, a connection, a union that reminds you of a time in your life when were exhausted, busy, and worn-down.  A time in your life where you rushed from work to baseball practices, birthday parties and school performances.

A stage where you had no time for yourself, helped with carpool and homework and packed lunches every night before you went to bed.  And as drain...

There Has to Be a Better Way for Kids to Apply to College

Perfect.

That is essentially what we are asking our high schoolers to be when it comes to their grades. And I don’t just mean some of their grades. I mean ALL of their grades. The mere sight of a “C” or a “D” (GASP!) on a transcript is now a brutal blemish that no concealer is able to cover up. Add to that is the fact that even the slightest dip in one class in one semester can wreak havoc on your GPA.

Think about that for a second – out of eight semesters, even a one semester slip up can spe...

When a Hug Tells You All You Need to Know About Your Teen

Yesterday morning my son came over to me with arms reaching for me. I literally had no idea what he was doing, he has not given me an unsolicited hug in years – that’s no exaggeration.

When he wrapped his arms around me, I felt his familiar warmth. I tried not to act too surprised and excited. This wasn’t just any hug – it was a loving embrace. He meant it, he wanted me to feel it.

I thought he’d be quick about it, then he kissed my cheek and kept hugging me. I will never forget it; words can...