Lisa Endlich's Blog, page 355

I Want To Leave My Husband And Here’s Why

I want to leave my husband, but it’s not what you’re thinking.

We’re not having marriage troubles (at least any more than the rest of you).We’re not dealing with infidelity (as far as I am aware).

And neither of us is utterly depressed and completely unhappy (though a few cocktails surely help those grins stretch across our face).

We’re two people who married young, had kids relatively young and have been working to balance a partnership, some romance, a home, work, two dogs and parenting dut...

4 Ways to Help Your Teen Overcome Their Fear of Failure

One of the favourite age groups I work with in my clinic are the clients between the ages of 18 and 23. Many young people have a wonderful capacity for flexible thinking which makes my job easier. Without the responsibility of child-rearing, complex finances and other problems associated with mature adulthood, life feels full of possibilities.

For some of the young people I see, that’s exactly the problem. The opportunities seem so endless that instead of it filling them with excitement about...

12 Things That Are Absolutely True About Teens

I have three boys very close together in age. Over the years I have heard a lot of unsolicited comments about my three sons . . .

“You sure do have your hands full.”

“I bet your house is loud and rowdy.”

“I wouldn’t want to clean your toilets.”

But the comment I heard the most was more of a warning . . .

“Those boys may be sweet and cute now, but just wait until they are all TEENAGERS! I feel sorry for you.”

They would spit out the word, “teenager” as if it were some dreaded disease – someth...

Six Tips for Talking to Your Teenage Son about Consent

You can probably recall the zip and sting of your bra strap against tender skin as you shouldered your way through the hallway to class.

I know I remember.

I grew up in the 1980s when a guy who copped a cheap feel was a rascal.

Bra-popping, grabbing behinds and making sexual innuendos were labeled harmless fun designed to make school less boring.

Unfortunately, this “boys will be boys” oft-dismissed behavior lent validity to the belief a male had permission to put his hands on a female – with...

Early Decision Is The New Normal But Is It Good for Our Kids

Today’s Wall Street Journal article, The Decision That Hurts Your Chances of Getting Into Harvard, just confirmed what I have been hearing anecdotally from the seniors and the college counselors at my son’s high school. The bottom line is that if you don’t apply early decision to a school, you’re not getting in. Full stop. As slim as the odds of getting into an Ivy League college are if you apply early, they are far, far slimmer if you apply regular decision.

When it comes to applying to coll...

Teens Need To Know The Real Truth About Success

As I sipped hot coffee in a café, I listened to my friend detail the latest in her son’s journey towards college admission. Because her son is interested in attending the same university my son wants to attend in a few years, I was curious to learn the ins and outs of the application process.

Her news, however, was stunning to me.

“The college advisor told us he probably won’t get in, even with perfect grades,” she told me. She went on to say that the university’s admission criteria were so s...

It Never Gets Easier To See Your Teen In Pain

I parked in front of the oral surgeon’s office and gathered my things to get out of the car. I was all the way to the office door before realizing my son wasn’t trailing behind.

He was still sitting in the car.

I could see him taking off his sweatshirt and collecting his own things but he was in slow motion which I very much understood.

I gave him a few more moments before I went to check him in.

When he joined me, he was upset and angry with me he’d forgotten his ear buds. Music had been his...

This Is How It Feels When You Realize Your Teen Is Independent

As I stand at the top of the mountain, I can barely see my teens in the distance.

In fact, as I watch their brightly colored coats zig zag along the crisp white snow, I take a deep breath and pull down my snow goggles. Tentatively, I inch myself forward and feel gravity start to pull me slowly towards the bottom of the hill. Reflexively, I keep my skis in a pizza wedge form, lest I actually gain enough speed to careen out of control and crash into the tree line.

But, even though I am apprehen...

Dear Son, I’ll Try Not to Roll My Eyes at You, Too

“You home from your cruise?” my college student son texted, the day I returned from the Caribbean. “I need your help.”

As a seasoned mother, I have at long last, learned to leave well enough alone. Sure, I’ll send a hand-wave emoji if a month or two has gone by without communication, but as long as a kid is not living under my roof, I’m not going to go looking for trouble.

I don’t ask for their grades. I don’t check on their finances. I don’t visit their apartments. However, I will admit to o...

Parents of Teens, It’s Time To Stop Saving Them From Failure

We’ve long known from educators and parenting experts how important it is to let your kids fail. The idea that everyone gets a trophy and nobody needs to come in second (or third, or last) place has produced a cohort of young adults unable to deal with many types of rejection and failure.

If you’ve been saved from falling on your butt your whole life, you will continue to look to be saved each and every time thereafter when you’re about to bust it. 

And well meaning parents – only wanting t...