A.M. Riley's Blog, page 2
January 1, 2013
Old Acquaintances and Happy New Year
Happy New Year everyone!
Hope your holidays were festive and filled with family and friends. Hope your New Year is everything you wish it to be.
About this time of year, as I sweep out all the closets and put away the Christmas ornaments for another year, I remember the people from the last year. Some are personal, friends and family members whom I expected to be here still and am feeling their absence particularly today. Some are strangers who were in the news but whose deaths particularly touched us all.
One of those is Gore Vidal, who passed last year. I've been reading his books this week as a kind of in memoriam. Last night I finished 'The City and the Pillar'. Besides being a very insightful journey in the mind of a gay man before the rights movement, it also has a universal theme. The love he felt in adolescence (and he never thinks of it as 'love', it is much more elemental than that), motivates almost all of his early adult life. When this is shattered it is as if the foundation of everything is removed. All he has left is self loathing and fear. Not the best thing to read during the dark and sometimes depressing days following Christmas, but definitely a good book for the New Year, when I traditionally think about my life and what the hell I think I'm doing here.
It is also appropriate as I finish "If Not for You" which is a very nostalgic book about youth and cynicism and confronting the past.
Hope your holidays were festive and filled with family and friends. Hope your New Year is everything you wish it to be.
About this time of year, as I sweep out all the closets and put away the Christmas ornaments for another year, I remember the people from the last year. Some are personal, friends and family members whom I expected to be here still and am feeling their absence particularly today. Some are strangers who were in the news but whose deaths particularly touched us all.
One of those is Gore Vidal, who passed last year. I've been reading his books this week as a kind of in memoriam. Last night I finished 'The City and the Pillar'. Besides being a very insightful journey in the mind of a gay man before the rights movement, it also has a universal theme. The love he felt in adolescence (and he never thinks of it as 'love', it is much more elemental than that), motivates almost all of his early adult life. When this is shattered it is as if the foundation of everything is removed. All he has left is self loathing and fear. Not the best thing to read during the dark and sometimes depressing days following Christmas, but definitely a good book for the New Year, when I traditionally think about my life and what the hell I think I'm doing here.
It is also appropriate as I finish "If Not for You" which is a very nostalgic book about youth and cynicism and confronting the past.
December 11, 2012
my house doesn't feel like people live there
Weird. I moved in last July and I've painted and unpacked. There's still a lot to do but the house doesn't feel like someone inhabits it. When I come home it still feels like the dogs and I live in someone elses house.
I've finished the first run-through of 'If Not for You' which bent and went off in an odd direction. I think it's okay, but still have much revising and editing to do.
I've finished the first run-through of 'If Not for You' which bent and went off in an odd direction. I think it's okay, but still have much revising and editing to do.
December 7, 2012
I'm not an authority on marriage...
I honestly wouldn't get married if I could. But that's me. In light of the Supreme Court deciding to hear two cases, sometime in the next year, that address gay marriage. I wanted to point out something I don't often see mentioned in discussions on the topic.
Gay people aren't born into families of gay people, generally. Racial minorities come from families of minorities. This may seem ridiculously obvious but consider; how many gay people lose family when they come out. My Asian friends didn't lose their parents because they were Asian. My African American friends went through all kinds of stupid unfair sh*t, but they had family to hang onto. Family had their back.
Gay people are a minority of often dispossessed people. I lost my family for years. So did many of my friends. Many of us never really properly reconciled. Of all the people in the world who deserve to make and keep family, gay people are probably the ones who need it the most.
And that's my two cents on the issue.
That said you'd have to put a gun to my head to get me down the aisle, lol.
Gay people aren't born into families of gay people, generally. Racial minorities come from families of minorities. This may seem ridiculously obvious but consider; how many gay people lose family when they come out. My Asian friends didn't lose their parents because they were Asian. My African American friends went through all kinds of stupid unfair sh*t, but they had family to hang onto. Family had their back.
Gay people are a minority of often dispossessed people. I lost my family for years. So did many of my friends. Many of us never really properly reconciled. Of all the people in the world who deserve to make and keep family, gay people are probably the ones who need it the most.
And that's my two cents on the issue.
That said you'd have to put a gun to my head to get me down the aisle, lol.
November 26, 2012
Hockey
I'll update my NaNo info shortly, but right now I want to complain about the hockey lockout.
I don't have really anything interesting to add. The man here says it all. I spent all of the Thanksgiving Holiday trying to get as excited about Football as I do about Hockey. It's a good thing I had family to distract me or I might have become depressed.
Stupid greedy bastards. Don't ask me to whom I refer. I am mad at the entire organization right now. The owners particularly but even the players who I don't feel are as outraged and depressed as we fans. Nobody could be as outraged and depressed as people living in Los Angeles who have Lord Stanley's Cup here for the first time and can't even throw the party for it!
razzlefrazzleratfink as the cartoon dog used to say.
One of the things I miss the most is the comforting NHL.com site where I could wander for hours, my brain on half-speed, while recovering from the food and family hangover I have today.
Instead I have to write.
I hope everyone had a lovely holiday!
I don't have really anything interesting to add. The man here says it all. I spent all of the Thanksgiving Holiday trying to get as excited about Football as I do about Hockey. It's a good thing I had family to distract me or I might have become depressed.
Stupid greedy bastards. Don't ask me to whom I refer. I am mad at the entire organization right now. The owners particularly but even the players who I don't feel are as outraged and depressed as we fans. Nobody could be as outraged and depressed as people living in Los Angeles who have Lord Stanley's Cup here for the first time and can't even throw the party for it!
razzlefrazzleratfink as the cartoon dog used to say.
One of the things I miss the most is the comforting NHL.com site where I could wander for hours, my brain on half-speed, while recovering from the food and family hangover I have today.
Instead I have to write.
I hope everyone had a lovely holiday!
November 20, 2012
still slugging away
Sunday I wrote a little over five hundred words. I lifted, deleted, rewrote and tightened about 4500, so coming out ahead was a small miracle. Except I'm not done deleting.
I was in the car for around six hours yesterday. My clutch-side leg is killing me, from riding it through traffic. The 'stang needs a physical soon. As I expected, I wasn't able to write anything. I did pound out a little this morning, but I can't write at work, so I might not catch up to my writing deadlines until Turkey Day. I'm cooking, but I got a lot done over the weekend, so I'll have a little free time.
Without hockey and with the Bears looking so bad it hurts my eyes, the only sports I can stand to watch are college bowls.
Then, last night, I downloaded 'The Back Passage' by James Lear, as a tiny reward to myself.
I can't recall where I first heard of this author, but I've been looking forward to reading his books. What is it about that slightly amused, facetious and yet basically good humored voice that I find so charming? I've run into it before in gay literature and, believe it or not, in Jane Austin. It's clever and wise but doesn't whine. It isn't sappy or preachy. It's not that it is or isn't politically incorrect so much as it is apolitical. Things are what they are. Life is a great big charming, if sometimes disappointing, story. And in the end its all about getting off.
Throw in a gloriously dead body and I'm a happy reader.
I love it. I'm afraid it's like a candy bar, though. I can't help but read it quickly and then, too soon, I will have read the whole series.
I was in the car for around six hours yesterday. My clutch-side leg is killing me, from riding it through traffic. The 'stang needs a physical soon. As I expected, I wasn't able to write anything. I did pound out a little this morning, but I can't write at work, so I might not catch up to my writing deadlines until Turkey Day. I'm cooking, but I got a lot done over the weekend, so I'll have a little free time.
Without hockey and with the Bears looking so bad it hurts my eyes, the only sports I can stand to watch are college bowls.
Then, last night, I downloaded 'The Back Passage' by James Lear, as a tiny reward to myself.
I can't recall where I first heard of this author, but I've been looking forward to reading his books. What is it about that slightly amused, facetious and yet basically good humored voice that I find so charming? I've run into it before in gay literature and, believe it or not, in Jane Austin. It's clever and wise but doesn't whine. It isn't sappy or preachy. It's not that it is or isn't politically incorrect so much as it is apolitical. Things are what they are. Life is a great big charming, if sometimes disappointing, story. And in the end its all about getting off.
Throw in a gloriously dead body and I'm a happy reader.
I love it. I'm afraid it's like a candy bar, though. I can't help but read it quickly and then, too soon, I will have read the whole series.
November 18, 2012
The Color Not-quite-purple
I didn't write yesterday because I was getting the guest room ready for Thanksgiving.
This old house has popcorn ceiling texture that is unbearably ugly. Room by room, I'm getting rid of it. The first room I did was the office, so I could sit here and find excuses to not write. Scraping the ceiling, repainting it with this awesome stuff called 'ceiling paint'. Then prepping and painting the walls, two coats even with the 'paint-with-primer' paint. Then the trim. It takes at least one day for a small room. The office took two days because I painted it with this gorgeous paint by Ralph Lauren called 'suede', which requires a second coat to be applied with a hand brush.
Anyway, now my guest room is amethyst. On the little sample card it looked sophisticated and sort of warm. On the walls it is suspiciously close to grape. I think it will be okay if I am careful with the accent colors and stuff.
Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. I've bought a house a way out from the city, so going to the dentist means leaving at 4:30 to get to the gym, work out, get dressed and drive for an hour and a half. This means I probably won't be able to write tomorrow either. So I got up super early today to write.
Argh. I have to delete a huge chunk. I've got two hours to write before the gym opens. I still have a lot of cleaning and grocery shopping and baking to do today, so I'm going to try to get my 1000 words done in two hours. ha. I'll let you know how it goes.
This old house has popcorn ceiling texture that is unbearably ugly. Room by room, I'm getting rid of it. The first room I did was the office, so I could sit here and find excuses to not write. Scraping the ceiling, repainting it with this awesome stuff called 'ceiling paint'. Then prepping and painting the walls, two coats even with the 'paint-with-primer' paint. Then the trim. It takes at least one day for a small room. The office took two days because I painted it with this gorgeous paint by Ralph Lauren called 'suede', which requires a second coat to be applied with a hand brush.
Anyway, now my guest room is amethyst. On the little sample card it looked sophisticated and sort of warm. On the walls it is suspiciously close to grape. I think it will be okay if I am careful with the accent colors and stuff.
Tomorrow I have to go to the dentist. I've bought a house a way out from the city, so going to the dentist means leaving at 4:30 to get to the gym, work out, get dressed and drive for an hour and a half. This means I probably won't be able to write tomorrow either. So I got up super early today to write.
Argh. I have to delete a huge chunk. I've got two hours to write before the gym opens. I still have a lot of cleaning and grocery shopping and baking to do today, so I'm going to try to get my 1000 words done in two hours. ha. I'll let you know how it goes.
November 14, 2012
I am not writing today and I am crabby...
... and my eyes itch.
My hair is frizzy and I'm hungry and dinner is three hours away.
Grrr.
My hair is frizzy and I'm hungry and dinner is three hours away.
Grrr.
November 13, 2012
598
Deleted 1100 but I'm still up by 598.
I'm feeling good about this now. Of course, it's 5 a.m. and I'm always an optimist first thing in the morning. There is one enormous plot hole that needs to be worked, but the characters just fell into place.
Off to the gym.
I'm feeling good about this now. Of course, it's 5 a.m. and I'm always an optimist first thing in the morning. There is one enormous plot hole that needs to be worked, but the characters just fell into place.
Off to the gym.
November 12, 2012
1648
I've finally written more than I've deleted and almost enough for the NaNoWriMo requirement of words per day. Yesterday I wrote 1648 of new material.
It's coming along. I was horribly stuck and so changed my pov. I'm not sure if I will keep it for the final but with the enormous cast of characters in this book, it is helpful.
It's coming along. I was horribly stuck and so changed my pov. I'm not sure if I will keep it for the final but with the enormous cast of characters in this book, it is helpful.
November 8, 2012
Two Unrelated Things
Well, I've hit the bottom of the deletion cycle, I think. I wrote 500 words today beyond what I deleted. There is still a lot to get rid of, but the character arcs have tightened somewhat. I feel so insecure about this book. I don't know who this dude is sometimes!
Also, I read a blog post somewhere in which an author complained about authors who talk about politics. Now, I am one of those people who believes that the personal is political. That you really can't separate the two. But I appreciate that my readers may not want to hear my diatribes.
Those of you who feel that way should probably stop reading now.
The GOP made a fatal mistake this election. They did not LOOK at the American people. They looked at the fantasy in their heads in which the vast majority of Americans are white protestants, who hate immigrants, intellectuals, liberated women, foreigners, homosexuals and any race not their own. And now they will have to wake the Ef up or there will be no Republican party in the future.
Maybe the Green party will be the next challenger? I could go for that.
Thank God.
Also, I read a blog post somewhere in which an author complained about authors who talk about politics. Now, I am one of those people who believes that the personal is political. That you really can't separate the two. But I appreciate that my readers may not want to hear my diatribes.
Those of you who feel that way should probably stop reading now.
The GOP made a fatal mistake this election. They did not LOOK at the American people. They looked at the fantasy in their heads in which the vast majority of Americans are white protestants, who hate immigrants, intellectuals, liberated women, foreigners, homosexuals and any race not their own. And now they will have to wake the Ef up or there will be no Republican party in the future.
Maybe the Green party will be the next challenger? I could go for that.
Thank God.
