Sarah O'Flaherty's Blog, page 3
November 12, 2017
2017 Xmas Deals
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How To Make A Keep Calm First-Aid Kit
Have you been struggling to think of some new and creative gift ideas for Christmas? It's definitely tough these days to come up with something that is different, interesting, and useful. However, I think I may have a solution for you.
This gift idea is useful, original (you decide how you create it and what you include), and it can be very cheaply produced. As you will have no doubt guessed from the visual associated with this blog post, it is a 'keep calm first-aid kit' designed for when you, a friend, or family member are having a bit of a psychological crisis or just need a little pick-me-up.
If I had my way, I'd recommend for everyone to have one of these ready for when they're feeling stressed, down, or overwhelmed. When you're in a bad emotional state or struggling your mind tends to shut down a little and doesn't help you to come up with solutions for how you can get yourself out of that rut. And that's where your kit comes in - it's already created. You just have to pop it open and dig into it to find some mental health solutions.
So, how do you create one of these little kits? Here are some simple steps to follow.
1. Find an appropriate container
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I like to make the kit look a little like a first-aid kit. The container in the image above is a plastic lunch container. However, you do what works for you or whoever you are making the kit for. For example, some people like to use a bag as their container so they can take it with them if they decide to go for a walk or to use their kit somewhere in nature.
2. Make a label
Create a label that you feel suits your recipient best. You can include the person's name, some funny pointers, or inspirational quotes. You can make the colours match your container or not, depending on your design preference. I used Canva to make my label; it's a great, easy to use website, and they have plenty of designs already set up. For mine, I chose a pre-made design and changed the copy to suit my recipient.
3. Purchase or make the items to include
You can make items to include, such as:
Inspirational quotes
A self-care handbook
Photos of friends or family
Or, self-care suggestion cards
Or, you can purchase items to include, such as:
Herbal tea
Essential oils
Candles
Bath salts
Or, a stress ball
I've had so much fun creating mine, and I hope you enjoy making yours too.
Please post below if you'd like to share your kit or the items you've included in your kit.
Happy keep calm first-aid kit making!
July 25, 2017
Writing Advice: How To Get Started In Self-Publishing
Here's a great little podcast from the self-publishing formula team.
And if you want to hear about what I learnt from their online course (which is brilliant by the way) and how my self-publishing career is going, then go to minute 32 and have a listen.
For more on writing, read how becoming a writer may be good for you or messy minds - how to tap into your creative spirit.
Self Publishing
Here's a great little podcast from the self-publishing formula team.
And if you want to hear about what I learnt from their online course (which is brilliant by the way) and how my self-publishing career is going, then go to minute 32 and have a listen.
July 11, 2017
Guided Sound Meditation: Improve Your Ability To Deal With Stress
If you'd like to be supported in your meditation practice then a guided meditation can be very helpful. This guided meditation focuses your awareness on sound. There are plenty of silent moments for you to become fully aware of what your mind is doing when it's not focused on the sound of my voice.
Once you've completed this lovely sound meditation, then why not find out why everyone is talking about mindfulness. If you're new to meditation you might like to read our beginning meditation guidelines.
Image:
Mingun Myatheindan Pagoda, Myanmar.
Copyright © Sarah O'Flaherty. All Rights Reserved.
Images can be purchased by contacting me at sarah@sarahoflaherty.com
Guided Sound Meditation
If you'd like to be supported in your meditation practice then a guided meditation can be very helpful. This guided meditation focuses your awareness on sound. There are plenty of silent moments for your to become fully aware of what your mind is doing when it's not focused on the sound of my voice.
Once you've completed this lovely sound meditation, then why not find out why everyone is talking about mindfulness.
Image:
Mingun Myatheindan Pagoda, Myanmar.
Copyright © Sarah O'Flaherty. All Rights Reserved.
Images can be purchased by contacting me at sarah@sarahoflaherty.com
June 13, 2017
The Hero's Journey
Joseph Campbell is one of my heroes. His writing is vast and covers a wide range of human experiences. If you get a chance, I highly recommend taking the time to read one of his many books. He is the creator of the term ‘finding your bliss’, and he established the famous ‘hero’s journey’. In case you aren’t aware of what the hero’s journey is, let me provide you with a brief overview. And, please note, where I write ‘hero’ I am talking about a male or female hero. ‘Heroine’ seems like such an old-fashioned word to me, and using hero keeps things simple. I like simple. I’m going to use ‘her’ for the hero’s journey segment, but feel free to replace that term with whatever is appropriate for your gender.
Campbell studied mythology and symbology for many years. His interest began when he spent about four years reading in a cabin in the woods during the Great Depression. It was during that time that he identified some common themes running through the hero myths and legends from around the world. He identified a set of stages that a hero must go through on his journey, on his own unique quest. Interestingly, these stages are the same no matter in what country the story originates.
Campbell’s book The Hero’s Journey has been the inspiration for many famous writers and film-makers. George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, said that The Hero’s Journey was the inspiration for his famous movies. It can be speculated that it is because George Lucas used such a time-honored structure that his films worked so well and became so iconic and globally popular. As we walk through each of these stages, see if you can identify how they relate to you.
The journey begins in what is considered the ordinary world, the world we currently operate in, the generally uneventful world of routine day-to-day living. The hero may be considered a bit unusual or odd by those operating within the norms of society. Additionally, the hero often possesses some ability or characteristic that may make her special and different, but may also make her feel out of place. A good example is Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, in Kansas before the cyclone strikes – she is alone, perhaps a bit isolated, and feeling out of place in her world, where she doesn’t seem to quite fit in.
The next stage is when our hero receives a call to adventure and is called away from the ordinary world to begin their quest. The hero may initially show some reluctance to leave their home, friends, and family to head away, but usually they will accept the quest that is their destiny. The hero may happen upon their quest by accident or may be called to the quest to save their world.
The quest takes place in another world, which Campbell describes as a “fateful region of both treasure and danger...a distant land, a forest, a kingdom underground, beneath the waves, or above the sky, a secret island, lofty mountaintop, or profound dream state...a place of strangely fluid and polymorphous beings, unimaginable torments, superhuman deeds, and impossible delight.” This description appears to cover many magical realms. It reminds me of the magical world Alice discovers in the story of Alice in Wonderland.
Next, there is the refusal of the quest or the challenge to the quest. This stage occurs when the hero is called to adventure and given a task or quest that only they can complete. At this stage, they do have a choice – they can accept the quest or deny it. Although this may seem like a simple matter when looked at superficially, it is not as clear-cut as you might imagine. The hero may be tempted by another offer, or possibly a reward to stay at home, or they may decide that they don’t want to accept their destiny. Remember the temptation I had to go to Peru rather than heed my call to adventure.
Unfortunately, for those heroes who decide that they do not, for whatever reason, want to accept their destiny, the future is not a rosy one. These individuals generally end up being the characters in need of rescuing or may even end up as the villain in a future tale.
Let me interrupt the story for just a moment, and ask you, does this remind you of anyone? Do you know of people who have been offered an amazing opportunity that required considerable life changes but also offered a huge opportunity for growth, who were not brave enough to take the opportunity when it was presented, and ended up becoming bitter and frustrated? For those accepting the call, sometimes it is a matter of the call having to be presented a number of times until it is finally accepted.
As the hero embarks on her journey she enters the world of the unknown, a world that may be filled with supernatural creatures, spectacular vistas, adventures, and dangers. This new world will have a set of rules that are different from the hero’s homeworld. The hero learns these rules as she progresses on the journey. This is the start of her learning process, which continues through the entire quest experience.
It is at this ‘point of entry’ into the new world that the hero is likely to meet their mentor. This stage has also been interpreted to mean that the hero will receive some form of supernatural assistance before beginning their quest. The mentor has already mastered the new world and can provide the hero with confidence, insights, advice, training, and sometimes magical gifts that may overcome future challenges. The mentor shares his experience and knowledge so the hero is not rushing blindly into the new world. The mentor often provides a gift or some form of wisdom that is required for the quest to be completed. To quote Campbell himself, “One has only to know and trust, and the ageless guardians will appear.” A good example of the mentor archetype is Gandalf from Lord of the Rings.
The next step is crossing the threshold, where the hero commits to the journey. The hero is now ready to cross the gateway that separates the ordinary world from the world of the quest. The crossing may require the acceptance of one’s fears, a map of the journey, or perhaps an incentive offered by someone else. The hero must confront an event that forces her to commit to entering the new world. At this point, there is no turning back. The event will directly affect the hero, raising the stakes and forcing some action. The event may be an outside force, such as the abduction of someone close to the hero that pushes her ahead. Or there may be a chase that pushes the hero to the brink, forcing her to move forward and commit fully to the quest.
After crossing the threshold, the hero faces tests, encounters allies, confronts enemies, and learns the rules of the special new world she has entered. This is the introduction to the new world, and we can see how it contrasts with the ordinary world the hero has come from. It is at this stage in the journey that the hero determines who can be trusted. A sidekick may be found, or even a full hero team developed. Enemies reveal themselves, and a rival to the hero’s goal may emerge. The hero must begin to prepare herself for the greater ordeals to come, and so tests her skills, and, if possible, receives further training from the mentor.
The hero must then approach the innermost cave that leads to the journey’s heart or the central ordeal of the quest. Maps are reviewed, attacks planned, and the enemy’s forces whittled down before the hero can face her greatest fear or the supreme danger that is lurking. The approach offers a chance of a break for the hero and her team before the final ordeal. The team may need to regroup, remember the dead, and rekindle morale. At this point in the journey time may be running out, or the stakes may rise.
The hero reaches the ordeal, the central life-or-death crisis during which she faces her greatest fear and confronts her most difficult challenge. She may experience a form of ‘death’. She may teeter on the brink of failure, and we may wonder if our hero will survive. It is only through ‘death’ that the hero can be reborn, experiencing a resurrection that offers greater powers or insight to see the journey through to the end. This is often the ultimate battle of good versus evil.
Once the hero has survived death and overcome her greatest fear or fears she will earn the reward she has been seeking. The reward may come in many forms – it may be a magical weapon, a secret potion, knowledge or wisdom, or the return of relationships lost. No matter what the treasure, the hero has earned the right to celebrate. The celebration gives the hero a new burst of energy.
Next, the hero must recommit to finishing the journey and taking the road back to the ordinary world. The hero’s success in the other world may make it difficult for the hero to return home. Like crossing the threshold, the return home may require a special event or something that pushes the hero back toward home. This event may re-establish the central dramatic question, pushing the hero to action and raising the stakes. As with any strong turning point, the action that galvanizes the road back may very well change the direction of the story.
The hero then faces the resurrection, another dangerous meeting with death. This is the final life-and-death ordeal that shows that the hero has learnt and maintained what she needs to bring back with her to the ordinary world. This is a final ‘cleansing’ or ‘purification’ that must occur now that the hero has emerged from the other world. The hero is reborn or transformed with the addition of the lessons and insights learned from her journey.
Once the hero has been resurrected, she has earned the right to return with the elixir to the ordinary world. The elixir can be a great treasure or magic potion, it could be love, wisdom, or simply the experience of surviving the other world. The hero may share the benefit of the elixir, using it to heal a physical or emotional wound or to accomplish tasks that had previously been considered impossible in the ordinary world. The return signals a time when rewards and punishments are dished out, and the end of the journey is celebrated. The return with the elixir generally brings closure to the story and balance to the world. The hero can embark on a new life knowing she has survived the trials of her journey.
“All the world’s a stage. And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and entrances, And one man in his time plays many parts.”
William Shakespeare (As You Like It)
Throughout the journey, there are many archetypes or roles that characters play. You can consider each archetype as a mask that a character wears in a scene. Sometimes the character may wear the same mask throughout the story. However, as with life, each character may play many roles throughout the journey and represent different archetypes. The key archetypes are listed below:
Hero – to serve and sacrifice
Mentor – to guide
Threshold Guardian – to test
Herald – to warn and challenge
Shapeshifter – to question and deceive
Shadow – to destroy
Trickster – to disrupt
Allies – to offer support
You may find that you face similar archetypes in your own journey through life.
What I love about the hero’s journey is that it is surprisingly reflective of what happens in our own lives. You may think, no way, I’ve never journeyed to another world, I’ve never fought dragons, I’ve never died and been resurrected. But think of the hero’s journey as a metaphor for life, with each stage of the journey symbolic of a stage of life.
This excerpt comes from my most recent book - Ready For A Career Change.
April 11, 2017
Ready For A Career Change?
Here's the book blurb outlining what the book is about:
Feeling trapped in a job you don’t like? Discover how to transition into a new career with learnings from people who’ve done it.
Working long hours, with no satisfaction? Want to start your own business, but not sure you can? Changing careers or setting up your own business isn’t easy. Let experienced career coach Sarah O’Flaherty show you how others have made the transition.
Sarah O’Flaherty has a successful business assisting people to improve their job/life satisfaction and to work through career-transition. After a successful twenty-year career in advertising, Sarah is now training to become a Clinical Psychologist. Using her own experience and interviews with others who have made major changes or established their own businesses, Sarah has created nine landmark questions to get you through a career change in one piece. By answering these questions, you’ll ensure a transition with minimal stress, while maintaining your relationships, your home, and your sanity.
Inside Ready for a Career Change? you’ll discover:
How to break down the barriers we face when changing jobs so you can make the best decision for you.
How others have changed careers and their key learnings so you can save time and benefit from their experience.
The important questions to consider in a career change so you don’t waste your time and energy on something that’s not right for you.
The benefits of a career change, such as increased energy and job satisfaction.
And much, much more!
Ready for a Career Change? Is packed with straightforward, honest, and practical advice that can be your wake-up call to the life that awaits you in a new career. If you like easy reads that tell it to you straight, then you’ll love having Sarah on your team.
Buy Ready for a Career Change? to help you make the move into an exciting new life today!
Get in quick before the price increases.
I've set the price at 99 cents for the soft launch. After launch, the price will be going up - so grab it now if you'd like to get this great new book at a bargain price. Click here for Amazon, and here for other book distributors.
Want a chance to win an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite?
I'm keen to start building up momentum for launch so please let your friends and family know this book is coming out. There is a promotion on my facebook page that offers a chance to win an Amazon Kindle Paperwhite. Also feel free to share the link to amazon and goodreads.
And once you've read the book, I'd love it if you'd take the time to leave a review. Thanks!!
March 16, 2017
Optimism/Pessimism and Stress
There is a difference in the way that people approach experiences, challenges, and stressors. Those people who are more optimistic in their outlook will tend to expect more positive than negative things to happen to them. Whereas, people who are more pessimistic in their views tend to expect more negative outcomes. While there are positives and negatives to both perspectives, there is a large body of research that has shown that optimists, when compared to pessimists, adjust better to difficulties. More specifically, optimists tend to adjust better to stress and exposure to a stressor than pessimists. Optimists have been found to experience less psychological distress and less negative impact on long-term physical well-being.
Optimism and Stress
Stress and the consequences of stress may arise from how people appraise experiences rather than from the experiences themselves. Optimists tend to have a generalized positive outlook about the future, and this impacts how they appraise and approach stressors. It has been found that optimists generally report experiencing less distress during stressor exposure compared to pessimists, and it seems that optimism may have a protective role during the exposure to a stressor in that optimism acts as a buffer against the adverse impact of stressful events. To understand the underlying components of why optimists deal with stress better, we will look at goal engagement and their choice of coping strategies.
Goal engagement
There are often two options when encountering challenges; engage to overcome the challenge and achieve goals, or disengage to avoid the challenge and give up on the goal. The choice between these two options may depend on whether or not the desired outcome is perceived to be attainable. Because optimists see positive outcomes as attainable, they are more likely to engage and continue to invest effort in order to achieve their desired outcome, rather than give-up or disengage as pessimists may do.
A number of studies have shown how dispositional optimists persist longer on tasks compared with pessimists, in some cases particularly when self-awareness is high, as self-awareness tends to highlight own goals. The tendency for optimists to expect positive outcomes and remain engaged in challenges creates a self-fulfilling prophecy because positive outcomes and success are actualized. On the other hand, for pessimists, the tendency to expect negative outcomes and give up on challenges creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.
Coping
Optimists are more likely to appraise goals as achievable and are more likely to approach challenges and work hard to achieve their goals. Pessimists tend to take the other perspective, they are likely to appraise goals as unachievable, and so are more likely to avoid or disengage from demanding challenges and give up. Optimists are more likely to use a problem-focused strategy or approach strategy.
However, don’t think that the information above means that optimists only ever use these more solution-orientated strategies. Research studies have found that optimists are quite flexible in their choice of coping strategy, and will make adjustments based on the stressor they are dealing with. So, rather than always choosing approach problem-focused coping, optimists will choose approach problem-focused coping when the stressors are controllable, and approach emotional-focused coping when the stressors are less controllable.
MENTAL AND PHYSICAL WELL-BEING
Optimism has consistently been associated with higher levels of psychological well-being, while pessimism has been associated with lower levels of psychological well-being. Optimists have been shown to have better mood and emotional adjustment, better life satisfaction and social support, and are less likely to experience mental health problems, particularly in relation to exposure to stressors. For example, optimists in their first year of college described experiencing less stress, depression, and loneliness as well as feeling more socially supported than their pessimistic colleagues. Because of the large body of research in this area, it can be stated that optimism plays a buffering role in the stress-distress relationship.
Optimism has also been linked to better physiological well-being. For example, optimism has been associated with better physiological well-being in terms of cardiovascular and immune functioning. Compared to pessimists, optimists have also been shown to report less pain, better physical functioning, and to experience few physical symptoms. Optimism has also been found to be a significant predictor of physical health.
However, there is some contradictory evidence here. Several studies have found that optimists, in combination with high-challenge, correlate to lower cellular immunity. One study, exposing participants to a stressful mental effort task, found that optimists displayed goal engagement, and persisted longer than pessimists on the tasks, but also experienced short-term physiological costs. There are also indications that the positive connection between dispositional optimists and goal engagement may involve a higher likelihood of goal conflict, which has been linked to physiological cost through lower immunity.
These results indicate that the engagement displayed by optimists in the face of stressors may be taxing and that although goal engagement may be beneficial in the long run, in the short term there may be physiological costs. However, despite potential short-term costs, the persistence demonstrated by dispositional optimists is likely to be beneficial in the long run, resulting in goal achievement and related to positive physical and psychological well-being.
HOW TO IMPROVE OPTIMISM
There are many positive links between optimism and goal engagement, coping, adjustment, and well-being, and establishing ways in which optimism can be increased would be beneficial. However, as a personality trait optimism has been found to be relatively stable. Further, optimism is estimated to be 25% heritable, and financial security, warmth, and attention from parents in childhood may also predict adult-degree of optimism (Heinonen, Räikkönen, & Keltikangas-Järvinen, 2005).
Despite being considered fairly stable, optimism can change over time. Some ways this has been achieved has been through cognitive behavior therapies. It is not a matter of pushing people to “pull themselves together and become more optimistic,” but rather giving people the knowledge and tools to better cope with specific challenges. Coping skills appear to contribute to a better outlook, and subsequently a better approach in how to cope with stress.
SUMMARY
Optimism does appear to play a role in how people respond to stressful situations. Optimists tend to expect more good things to happen to them than bad, and when exposed to stressors, they believe in positive outcomes, persist at goal engagement, and use approach coping strategies to deal with the stress at hand. The overall outcome for optimists appears to be better psychological and physiological well-being, including less distress, better life satisfaction, and social support, as well as better cardiovascular and immune functioning.
Are You Suffering From Burnout?
References:
Heinonen, K., Räikkönen, K., & Keltikangas-Järvinen, L. (2005). Dispositional optimism: Development over 21 years from the perspectives of perceived temperament and mothering. Personality and Individual Differences, 38(2), 425-435.
February 23, 2017
What Is Stress?
Stress is estimated to cost American businesses up to $300 billion a year and has been labelled the 'Health Epidemic of the 21st Century' by the World Health Organisation (G Fink, 2016). Numerous studies show that job stress is by far the major source of stress for many adults, and in a recent global survey, employers identified stress as the number one health risk factor in nearly all surveyed countries (Towers Watson, 2014). However, stress is not limited to the workplace. Stress can be caused by being stuck in heavy traffic, overdue bills, or feeling threatened by another individual.
Stress is difficult to define. Stress was defined by Hans Selye, the father of stress, as the non-specific response of the body to any demand. This definition is the most generic. Stress can be described in a medical sense as the rate of wear and tear in the body, or more broadly as an aversive event (physical, mental, or emotional) that threatens the wellbeing of an individual. Other definitions, detailed by G Fink (2010) are: the perception of threat, with resulting anxiety, discomfort, emotional tension, and difficulty in adjustment; and, stress occurs when environmental demands exceed one’s perception of the ability to cope.
One definition of stress that stood out to me, was the three-component definition of stress developed by Kim and Diamond (2002). The authors suggest that this definition can be applied broadly across species and paradigms. First, stress requires heightened excitability or arousal (E). Second, the experience must be perceived as aversive (A). Third, there is a lack of control or uncontrollability (U). Thus, stress can be defined as the product of these three factors: S = E x A x U
Kim and Diamond (2002) suggest that having control over an aversive experience has a profound mitigating influence on how stressful the experience feels. The element of control is the variable that ultimately determines the magnitude of the stress experience and the susceptibility of the individual to develop stress induced behavioural and physiological conditions. They summarise by defining stress as a condition in which an individual is aroused by an aversive situation – for example, a hostile employer, or an unpaid bill. With the magnitude of stress and its physiological consequences greatly influenced by the individual’s perception of its ability to control the presence or intensity of the situation.
Are You Suffering From Burnout
References:
Fink, G. (2010). Stress: definition and history. Stress science: neuroendocrinology, 3-9.
Fink, G. (2016). Stress concepts and cognition, emotion, and behaviour. (1 ed.). Amsterdam: Academic Press.
Kim, J. J., & Diamond, D. M. (2002). The stressed hippocampus, synaptic plasticity and lost memories. Nat Rev Neurosci, 3(6), 453-462.
Towers Watson. (2014). The business value of a healthy workforce: A global perspective. Retrieved from https://www.towerswatson.com/en/Insights/IC-Types/Survey-Research-Results/2014/02/stayingatwork-report-business-value-of-a-healthy-workforce
