M.L.S. Weech's Blog, page 88

A 3-Star Review for Caught

Greetings all,

[image error]I just wanted to share a bit of good news.  Caught has a new three-star review up on Goodreads. I’m always overjoyed at any review. I say it, and I mean it every time. Please feel free to look here to see the latest opinion on my work.

Thanks for reading,

Matt

It Was Indeed an Awesome Con!

[image error]This is me speaking at my panel on the pitfalls of self publishing. Photo by Peggy Trujillo.

I’ve had a few days to rest (at least a little), and I think I’ll be back to work in another day or two. It won’t be long at all before my next event, which is Shore Leave. I’ve just learned bout some more opportunities coming my way, so stay tuned for that. With that said, I wanted to give you all a bit more insight as to how AwesomeCon went.

First off, some special thanks.  The first must be my helpers. They get the chance to attend the event and have some fun, but they have to help me sell books and give me periodic breaks. Events like this take a ton out of me as it is, and I wouldn’t be able to do them without help, so I’d like to offer special thanks to Peggy Trujillo and Keith Simmons.   They made it so I could step away when I wanted. They made it so I could attend my panel (more on that later), and they made it possible for me to check a few items off the bucket list (yes, more on that later, too).  A note about Keith, turns out, his cosplay costume was well liked by the AwesomeCon folks. He made their list of favorite costumes.

Next I’d like to thank Andrew Hiller.  He actually joined me at my table this year. Teaming up with him gave me another person to talk to. I’ve read A Halo of Mushrooms, and A Climbing Stock is on my TBR. It was a pleasure working with him, and I want to make sure I say thanks for sending some traffic my way and keeping me company.

[image error]E.A. Copen speaks about self publishing during the first day of AwesomeCon 2017. Photo by Peggy Trujillo. 

Last, but in no way the least, is the new group of friends I made during my panel. I didn’t have anyone to be on my panel with me, and I truly wanted those in attendance to get the most out of the experience. So I approached a group near my table and asked if they’d care to join me.  They call themselves the Awethors, which is a clever name if I do say so myself.  They were a super group of people to meet.  Jeffery Cook, D.R. Perry, and E.A. Copen were fantastic additions to the panel, and they made it a huge success.  I had several people come up to me and tell me they loved it. I owe that success to them.  Thank you all for joining me.

For those interested in the marketing side of things, this is the spot you should be interested in. Jeffery wrote a book called, “Working the Table, An Indie Author’s Guide to Conventions.” I can’t wait to dig into that. I brought around 300 business cards, 75 bookmarks and a ton of QR-Code cards I’d made a while back. I should have brought more of the bookmarks and business cards. I ran out of those on the first day, and I think they were effective. All told, I sold about 10 more books than I’ve ever sold. Caught finally gained some traction, and I’m hoping readers start posting reviews soon. I’m also nearly sold out of soft-cover editions of The Journals of Bob Drifter. I’m proud of the fact that I sold enough product to make up the table, gas, new books (sorry, TBR pile), and parking. By any standard, that’s a success. I’ll admit I didn’t reach my super goal, but I’d still call that weekend a success.

[image error]I think my favorite part of the event was having people approach me and tell me how much they liked my work. I posted about that earlier, but I can’t say enough what it means to me for people to show their appreciation.  A lot of those conversations gave me some much needed motivation to stay true to my dream and keep at it. It’s amazing to think anyone would take time out of their day to stop by and just say they liked my books. Thank you!

A note on the value of reviews: I had a large number of people who spoke to me about my book. They took a night to think on it and then came back. A lot of them said my reviews on Goodreads  made a convincing argument to try my books. I’d like to thank those who reviewed my books. I’d be ever so grateful to anyone else who’s read my work to do the same. They really do matter. If you hated them or loved them, there is no such thing as a bad review in my eyes.

[image error]This puppy is going on the wall in my office (if I ever unpack). 

The convention wasn’t 100 percent business. Last year, I made it a point to meet Summer Glau.  This year I had a chance to meet someone who was fundamental to my dream to become a writer. If I’m being honest, Stan Lee was far too busy to do much more than sign a comic, but this Uncanny X-Men #101 is right up there with my signed copy of The White Dragon. I honestly only need one more autograph to have my own personal Rushmore of authors (ok, look, Tolstoy would be on that list, but I don’t think that’s in the cards). I didn’t pay for the photo or any of the events, but having that signature on my favorite comic ever is really special, and I’m glad I got the chance to do that.

 

It feels weird. This post is under 1,000 words, but I feel like I only scratched the surface. I wish I could talk about every conversation and every cool thing I saw, but there’s just too many. All I can do is say it really was a great time, and I can’t wait for next year!

Thanks for reading,

Matt

Some Things for which to be Grateful

[image error]These two came by to tell me they loved The Journals of Bob Drifter. They also wanted a sequel. While that’s not currently a plan, I did tell them there will be a book they might want to pay close attention to coming in 2019.

I’m spending a few days recovering from a productive, enjoyable, and exhausting AwesomeCon.  I’ll post more about the event later (probably next week). But since I post something every Wednesday and Saturday, I thought I’d share some achievements and milestones with you all.

The first is how successful AwesomeCon was as a whole. I met a lot of new friends. I had several readers approach me (more on that later) to tell me they liked my work, and I sold a solid number of books.  Thus far for yours truly, if I had trouble making back what I paid to have the table. I’m not consistently earning back that money plus a little extra, which I plan to use to order more books for the next event. This would have been enough of a blessing by itself, but my week has only gotten better.

I can say with pride that I now have 300 followers! Raven and Beez was my 300th follower, and I’m always overjoyed when people think enough of my goings on that they let me bombard their WordPress reader with my thoughts. The fact that I’m slowly growing followers is a motivating thing. There’s a lot of perseverance required in this line of work. It’s an evolutionary process, requiring years to build an audience and establish a rapport with true fans.  I’m simply amazed I’ve  come this far, even acknowledging how much farther I have to go.  I want  you all to know how much I appreciate you. I hope my blogs and post are useful and entertaining.

[image error]The last thing I wanted to share with you all was a very special 5-star review for The Journals of Bob Drifter.  I was at AwesomeCon during a particularly slow hour when a woman approached me to tell me how much she enjoyed the book. Cathey was so emphatic in her praise that I didn’t really know how to react. You always hope for someone to like your work, but before she even posted this review, I genuinely felt how much she loved it. That sort of moment is what makes a lot of late hours and months of bad sales seem worth it. Just coming up and telling me what she thought was a supremely inspirational moment for me. That review just sort of enchanted the euphoria to another level.  Cathey, if you’re reading this, I can’t put into words what that meant to me. I give you my word that I’ll always push myself to tell compelling, powerful stories. I hope to introduce you to characters that are as inspirational as they are emotional.  Thank you.  I make that same promise to all of you.

As happy as I am, I will need a bit more time to recover and get back into routine. I’m still waiting on the editor to get back to me with Sojourn in Captivity and then the second edition of The Journals of Bob Drifter. I’ve started an outline for a short story revolving around Kaitlyn from Caught. I have a very ambitious goal for 2019, and I’ll have to get to work if I want to meet it.  So I’ll rest up a few days and then charge forward.  I want you all to know how much I value your comments, likes and questions. Every email or message I get is precious to me.  Thank you all and thank you for reading.

Matt

 

An Interview with the April Book Cover of the Month winner Gabriel Rodriguez

[image error]Hello everyone! It’s actually been an incredibly busy few weeks. I’m happy to say I’ve been eager to post this interview I had with Gabriel Rodriguez. As most of you know, I’ve been interview each month’s winners.  Click on each month to see those interviews. December. January. February. I wasn’t able to reach the artist for March, but here’s the announcement for it.

I am happy to have an interview for you today from the man who designed Singular,  April’s winner.

Without further delay, let’s get right to it!

Hello Gabriel! I just wanted to say congrats one more time!

[image error]Image of Gabe provided by him and used with his permission.

First off, do you have a website? Would you be willing to allow me to post 3 or 4 of your favorite projects? If so, please attache JPGs to your reply.  Do you have an image of yourself or a logo I may use?  If so, please attach that as well.

My name is Gabe Rodriguez. I’m a creative handyman living in Seattle with my beautiful wife and three rad kids. You can see more of my work at http://radriguezinc.com/

When did you get in to art? 

I gained more of an appreciation for art after I married an artist. At the time we married she was studying art in college and she helped open my eyes to museums, the theatre, we even sat in the nose-bleed seats watching an Opera performance. To this day (almost 14 years later) we still love going to museums and are very much inspired by the art of others.

How long have you been creating covers?

Believe it or not, Singular is actually my first book cover design.

What got you started in creating covers?

[image error]The cover to April’s winning cover provided for review purposes under Fair Use doctrine. 

Designing book covers has been a long time coming. I spent over 10 years as a freelance photographer. It was only in the last two years that I started to focus on design. I was fortunate to work with a good friend and talented designer who brought me under his wing and taught me a lot about design.

One of the ways I learned design was studying book covers with him. He encouraged me to keep a file of screenshots and iPhone pics of inspiring covers. So when I was approached by Zack to design the cover for Singular it was fun to go to my inspiration files and study what others have done and fuse that with the story and meaning behind the book.

Do you prefer one medium over another?

I still love photography and I think in pictures a lot. I’m very much intrigued by digital illustration. It keeps me up at night. Either working on drawings of my own or going down rabbit trails of various artist portfolios and Instagram feeds.

Do you have someone who inspired your own work? If so, who? Why?

I love the creativity of folks like Brad Montague (Montague Workshop) whose work makes me feel that art and creativity can change the world.

[image error]A book cover by Peter Mendelsund posted for review purposes under Fair Use doctrine.

In terms of book covers, I’m a big fan of Peter Mendelsund and Daniel Gray. I’m in awe of their seemingly effortless designs that pique interest, convey meaning, and make you think.

In illustration I love the work of Don & Ryan Clark of Invisible Creature and artist Jean Jullien. They create characters and build worlds that blow my mind. In a similar way I’m inspired by authors like Zack in their ability to create a world of their own.

What makes you choose to work with an author or not?  What do you look for in a great client? 

I haven’t had to make this choice with authors yet, but in photography and design it usually comes down to looking for clients that are passionate about their work, can bring some good ideas to the table, and then trust me to execute a concept that will serve them well. Obviously it would be amazing if every project had an endless budget and a deadline that would allow for research and experimentation. But in the end, creatives love to create. Let us do that for you and we’ll love you.

What are some of your pet peeves about clients?

I’m a pretty easy going guy so not a lot comes to mind. I don’t love having to educate clients on importance and realistic costs of particular things, but I feel it’s an important part of the job. If I could pass anything on, it would be to value the work of others in the same way you want others to value your work.

What would an author need to do to work with you? Do you have a link to your standard rates, or do you negotiate fees by author?

Being relatively new to (book cover) design, I don’t have a standard rates page. I’d love to work with talented authors both new and old. The only requirement for me is passion and ideas, I can take it from there. I understand that there are a range of budgets and projects so rates depend on complexity and vary from project to project.

[image error]Image of Zack Hubert taken from his Amazon page for review and promotion purposes under Fair Use doctrine.

How did you come to be chosen to create the cover for Singular?

I’d like to say it was destiny because that sounds more romantic but in actuality Zack is long time friend of mine. He’s been a supporter of my work in the past and I appreciate that he took a flyer hiring me to design his book cover as it was my first one. I’d also like to think that we’re just getting started together and that this is the first of many.

Artistically, what were your goals for the cover?

We wanted something that would catch your eye and draw you in as well as a design that had some meaning and gave insight into what the book is about. The cover needs to help sell the book but also compliment the story.

How was Zack to work with?

Zack was great to work with. He brought a lot of good ideas to the table and was able to point me in the direction of art and covers that have inspired him.

Singular was such a clean, simple concept.  What inspired the idea?

I visited a lot of used book stores looking at old covers and artwork to pull ideas from. Zack also gathered a collection of book covers he liked and we those served as a mood board. I tend towards clean design so I think I was looking for a clean design solution from the start.

[image error]Can you walk me through the whole process of that cover? From commissioning to final product? How did you feel about it once it was finished?

Zack asked me about designing the cover as he was nearing the completion of writing the book and I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to sit with the story for about two weeks before starting in on the design. I started with a handful of loose design concepts. The concepts varied in style but all paid homage to the book and tried to go beyond clever idea or just looking good and convey some sort of meaning as to the themes of the book. It was nice to work with a great story that had solid themes I could work into the cover design.

We agreed on a concept that would work well and then I got to work on giving it a spit shine in Photoshop. The final design ended up combining a few elements from other concepts which we both really liked. Along the way Zack had great feedback of what he liked and I was up front with my opinions as well. We worked great together to produce a final cover that I’m very proud of.

Is it your favorite cover? If so, why?

This is definitely my favorite book cover. But I’m optimistic that my next cover will be just as good!

The Con of Awesome! What I’m up to this weekend!

[image error]Happy AwesomeCon everyone! So this convention has a special place in my heart. They were the first large con to contact me and invite me to their event. I’ve had a panel there every year (like last year) since I became published, and I have one this year as well.  I always look forward to this convention, and I’m excited about what I have going on this year.

First, I’ll have a partner in crime.  Fellow author Andrew Hiller will be with me at the booth, he’s joined forces with me. I read A Halo of Mushrooms, and posted my review here.  It’ll be nice to have someone to sit with and talk about writing with all day.  Andrew and I will be at table P19.

[image error]Next, I’d like to announce a few sales. To celebrate this event, Caught will be on sale for 99 cents from now until the 19th. If you were waiting on a deal, this is your chance. Outside of the electronic universe, the hard cover for The Journals of Bob Drifter will be reduced to $30. The soft cover will be down to $20.  Caught will be it’s regular price of $9.99, but if you haven’t had a chance to grab any autographs from me, I’m bundling the books.  You can buy Caught and The Journals of Bob Drifter together for a total of $25 (with a soft cover of Bob, $35 for the hard cover and Caught). I wanted to re-release Bob before this, but it’s my own fault for giving my editor two books to edit at the same time (I’m selfish really). So reducing the price to Bob is the least I can do for those readers who want to try out my work.

As I mentioned above, I’ll be hosting a panel (actually it’ll be more of a Q & A).  It’s about the Pitfalls of Unwary Self Publishers. That’s scheduled for 5:30 June 16 in room 154.  I hope to see you all there!

AwesomeCon runs from June 16-18.  Doors open at noon Friday and close for another year at 5 p.m. Sunday.

I think that’s about it. I’m looking forward to a great weekend, and I hope to see you all there!

Thanks of reading,

Matt

Announcing the May Book Cover of the Month!

The May Book Cover of the Month bracket has just wrapped up. It was truly an amazing bracket with a record-breaking 6,133 votes total. That crushes the last record, and I have you all to thank for that.  But enough about me and my beaming pride. You all picked a winner, so let’s see it!

The May Book Cover of the Month is…

[image error]This image and all associated images are used for review purposes under fair use. The intent is to draw attention to the product.

 

Dawn of War by Robbie MacNiven! If you’re curious about how I felt about the book, check out the Facebook post that I posted when this book first landed on the bracket, here.

Let’s look at the stats!

Dawn of War took the lead about a week into the bracket and never looked back.  He won a total of 81 total tournaments, which helped him beat The Lost Travencal by C.M. Jobe.

War received 581 total votes, which is 100 votes more than the second place vote earner The Other One by Amanda Jay (who received 433 total votes).

[image error]

The good news is that Jobe and Jay finished second and third respectively, which means they receive another chance to be the Book Cover of the Month in the June bracket.

That said. MacNiven is the winner this month, so let’s look at his book.

Amazon blurb.

Amazon:

(START BLURB)

Set in Games Workshop’s Warhammer 40,000 universe, this novelisation features characters and events from Dawn of War III, the third game in Sega and Relic Entertainment’s phenomenally successful RTS franchise.

Every 5,000 years, the accursed world of Acheron emerges from the warp. Drawn by its legend, three factions – Space Marines, eldar and orks – battle each other to possess the great weapon that is said to reside there. But when the weapon is finally revealed, a terrible threat rears its head. Can the three warring armies do whatever it takes to put aside their differences and defeat the ultimate evil?

(END BLURB)

[image error]This image was taken from Mr. MacNiven’s Twitter page. It’s provided so viewers may meet the author of a book with a great cover.

As always, I’ve purchased the book and added it to my TBR. (For those who are new to the deal, I buy the Book Cover of the Month to read and review in the future. I bought Manning’s cover, Howard’s cover, Deyo’s cover, Jones’s Cover, and Hubert’s Cover, and they are also on my TBR. (I’m reading Deyo’s book now.)

Here’s the Dawn of War Facebook page. Give it a like if you’re curious about it.

I don’t know who did the cover art for Dawn of War, but I intend to ask the author so that I can attempt to do an interview and tell you all about another great cover artist.

The June bracket is ready to go and will launch on July 1.

I will continue to identify and select covers for each day from Amazon’s New Release section for fantasy and science fiction. If you follow and like my Facebook page, you can see what covers will make the bracket.

Thanks for reading

Matt

Four Days Left: A May Book Cover of the Month Update

[image error]It’s that time again folks.  I’m flying on a plan back to the place of residence, so my laziness combined with the fact that I actually sort of skipped an update lead me to post one now.

Usually with four days left, we’d be doing  the final four, so I’ll update you on how that’s going.  But first, this announcement:

I’m happy to report we’ve shattered the record for most votes in a bracket.  We’re currently at 5,524 votes.  I thank you all for your participation, and hope you’ll continue to support the Book Cover of the Month each time it kicks off.

Let’s get down to business.

As it stands right now, your final four are:

[image error]Dawn of War by Robbie MacNiven,

The Lost Travencal by C.M. Jobe,

The Other One by Amanda Jay, and

Fate of the Big Bad Wolf by Neo Edmund.

The current top dog in terms of total votes is Dawn of War with a massive 528 votes.

The lowest vote-earner is The Empire’s Ghost by Isabella Steiger.

That being said, what matters most is that Dawn of War is in the lead because it won 72 total brackets, so you don’t need 500 votes. You just need 73 more supporters to choose the next four days to vote!

If the tournament stays this way, The Lost Travencal and The Other One would receive auto-bids into the June Book Cover of the Month, but Fate and The Acquisition of Swords by X can leap right over them if they can get their following to support them for one final push, but that’s true of all 32 books.  Anyone of these covers can have a final big day and steal the title for the month.

All you need to do is head over this website and vote!

Thanks for reading,

Matt

Book Review: Lantern by Chess Desalls

[image error]Spoiler Free Summary: Lantern by Chess Desalls is a short story of a teenage girl, Tori, who’s visiting her grandmother’s estate. She encounters a magical lantern with more inside than a decent bulb. The mystery of the lantern forces her to choose whether to believe in magic or not. It also tests her close relationship with her parents. NOTE: I bought the Kindle edition, but because my reading list got enormous at light speed, I chose to grab up the Audible edition since I had a road trip ahead of me.

Character:  Tori is a believable teenager. She has enduring qualities of adventurism and a strong affection for her baby brother. I’ve mentioned my personal bias against teen novels, but Tori made this book easier to go through as her choices and actions were a little less wayward than is common in the genre. I’m not saying that is completely absent in this book, but I will say I had far less trouble believing this story and connecting with Tori than I usually do with book of this sort. I also like that the parents weren’t complete morons (which is another common trait in teen novels).  Listen, I get that in teen stories, you have to account for the question, “Why don’t parents get involved,” but I appreciate an author who doesn’t negate a parent’s role or mitigate that issue by making the parents completely oblivious. Yes, Tori had to get out to adventure, but there were explanations and consequences for Tori’s actions that, to me, give this story a more realistic feel. That made the story resonate. Plus, her relationship with her parents was a plot line, and her choices that stressed that relationship weighed on her mind. I appreciate that about this story.

[image error]All images of Chess Desalls and her work were taken from her Facebook page or WordPress website for review purposes under fair use.

Exposition: I’ll talk a bit more in regard to dialogue (as usual), but this was an absolute strength for Desalls, who I’ll confess is a friend and fellow member of the Slush Brain. (Being open about my friendships is something I find important. This allows readers of this review to add whatever amount of salt they want to the review.) One of the reasons this book was able to be so condensed is because Desalls doesn’t beat us to death with exposition or back story. The narrative in this story is tight, allowing the reader to flip through the pages without a steep learning curve. She used the questions the reader had to build tension as the story unfolded.

World building:  I have to tell myself this was the first book in a planned series. There were magic system and world building questions that I wanted the answers to that I didn’t get. Some readers love this. I’m frustrated by this as much as I am by cliffhangers (both techniques do have their place in storytelling, but they always annoy me). The open questions don’t slow down the plot or negate the reader’s ability to enjoy the story. Yes, they exist, but they exist more to show the scope of the story than they are holes to be filled in.

Dialogue:  Desalls used dialogue to get around a lot of the exposition issues. I noticed it, but the dialogue was still effective. Desalls countered the potential info dump issue with nice descriptive beats and character building quirks, which broke up the dialogue and gave it a more natural feel.

[image error]Description: This was a strength of the story for me. The character (which is number one on my book) was the strongest area for Desalls, but I like a fast-moving story with well placed adjectives and descriptive beats. I was able to see what I needed to see and allowed to use my imagination to fill in the rest. The hard-core scifi guys probably will want more intricate detail, but that’s just not my flavor ice cream.

Overall: This was a charming story that opened the door to an interesting world. Any teen story that has the usual themes but also allows for realistic reactions and consequences sets itself above the rest. Lantern does that for me. It’s a nice quick read I think adventurous young teens would enjoy.

Thanks for reading,

Matt

A May Book Cover of the Month Update

[image error]Greetings all!

Usually about this time (three days) would be when the Sweet 16 begins.  While we’re not doing a round-by-round bracket, I still think this is a nice time to update everyone on how things are shaking out so far.

First, another explanation on how this structure works.  Brackify says, “Rank results are calculated by how far an entry advances in the bracket based on match results, not total vote count.”

What’s that mean? Well, You can’ have a million votes, but they do you know good if you only get them in one round. What matters is how many voters vote for a certain cover to move on.

What I like about this format: This structure really does make it easy on voters. One vote and done. Also, we’re getting close to breaking the all-time voting record after less than three days. That’s wonderful! The best thing about this format is that no one is ever out of it until the very end.

[image error]What I don’t like about this format: It’s possible for a book that lost a round to still win the bracket. Let me try to explain.  Say Book 1 lost to Book 2 in the first round. However, if more voters selected Book 1 to go to the finals, Book 1 would actually move on unless Book 2 had a more dominant win in the first round. I’ve actually been monitoring that situation in this bracket. Tangled Echoes has a solid number of finalist votes, but it wasn’t until City of Miracles finally managed to over take it that Echoes fell from #1 all the way to #18 (as things stand as I type this).

Echoes doesn’t need a bunch of first round votes (though at this stage that would do the trick), it actually only needs one or two people to vote it back to the finals. I’m not sure what I think about a book being able to advance when it didn’t win a round. In this format, what matters is how far a book goes per bracket, not how many votes it gets. In my opinion, round-by-round is more demanding on participants, but way easier to understand. Please don’t misunderstand, I like all these covers. That’s why I featured them on this blog. If Echoes beat five other covers to win the day, then I’d have no problem with that. My problem would be if someone one the bracket after losing a round. To put your mind at ease, I’ve checked, and the current Sweet 16 all on their first round. So the current covers would have moved on in the original format. What are your thoughts?

Now that we’ve explained the process, let’s look at how things stand after three full days of voting.

[image error]The current top four are:

Dawn of War by Robbie MacNiven, The Lost Travencal by C.M. Jobe, The Other One by Amanda Jay, and Fate of the Big Bad Wolf by Neo Edmund.

The next four contenders are:

Reaper Reborn by Bryan Davis, The Acquisition of Swords by Timothy Ray, and City of Miracles by Robert Jackson Bennett.

Lead Cover:

As you saw above, MacNiven’s Dawn of War is currently in the lead.

Top Vote Earner:

It’s important to know that this bracket was never a popular vote. The top vote earner for each round always moved on, but there have been plenty of times one cover received a ton of votes in one round, but fell short in the following round. Winning a round still means more than getting more votes.  That said, it’s still cool to know who’s getting support.

The top vote earner so far is The Other One by .

[image error]Least voted on cover:

We have a tie in this regard. They are: The Wizard Killer Season Two by Adam Dreece and Immortals by . They each have 79 total votes, but they haven’t gotten enough votes to get them out of that first round.

There’s still 10 days left to show your support for your favorite cover. If you’ve already voted, but your favorite isn’t winning, please feel free to share the bracket on your respective social media platforms. The more people who vote, the better.

Thanks for reading,

Matt

 

 

That Pesky Pronoun: A Pitfall of 1st Person Narrative

[image error]All Stock images taken from Pixabay.

I’m taking the chance to work on Images of Truth since I’m waiting for the editor to get back to me with Sojourn and Bob. This project is so much bigger than either of those. How much bigger? Well, I’m at 107,000 words, and I’m not even halfway done (though I’m at 47 percent based on my math).  Using POV writing as opposed to first person narrative is much easier to do though now that I’ve written a complete story with both techniques.

That gave me an idea on what I could share with people in today’s blog. Last week, I talked to you about Adverbs. Today, I’d like to go over something I saw a lot of in my fourth set of revisions of Sojourn.

When I first wrote about first person narrative, I spoke about the pros and cons. What it let me do was limit the scope of the story and focus on the character I wanted everyone to connect with most (in this case, Elele). I stand behind the idea that it was the right call. Now, this may backfire on me for a few reasons I won’t get into in this blog, but I made a decision based on what I felt was best for the story, which is all any writer can do.  That said, one consequence I didn’t think about what how many times a writer would be tempted to write “I.”

The first was easy to fix because of my experience as a journalist. I teach my students that observation is the most powerful tool they have, but a lot of my students feel the need to tell me they saw something. “I watched,” “I heard,” and “I felt” are attributive clauses that aren’t necessary. Want to see what I mean?

Here’s a paragraph from the third draft of Sojourn:

I watch as they fuss over their pod mother. She touches them and embraces them. 

Dozens of Seferam each check on the oldest member of their family as I observe, breathing in moist air.

So here’s a question to ask yourself.  Isn’t this story in first person? So of course she’s watching and listening. I don’t need to tell the reader that because the narrator is the character doing the watching and listening. Now, I’ll be honest. Even though I looked out for it in my last draft, I still have those types of clauses in there. I’ll have to do a search and get rid of it. It’s wordy and unnecessary.

Here’s what that segment looks like in the fourth draft:

They fuss over their pod mother, and she touches and embraces them. 

Dozens of Seferam each check on the oldest member of their family as I observe, breathing in moist air.

[image error]Yeah, I still have her “observing,” but I felt I needed that to show her position in relation to the other group, not to prove she saw it. One could argue I don’t even need that bit in there, but it’s a step up from the last draft.

So when I sit down to do my final draft, you can bet I’m going to search for the clauses “I watch,” “I see,” “I hear,” and “I feel.” I’ll delete that, and watch my story’s word count shrink. This will make my prose cleaner, more readable, and more active.

But that’s not the only thing to watch out for with that pesky pronoun.  Naturally your character is going to do things, and, since you’re using first person, there will be the temptation to start pretty much every sentence with the pronoun in question. Quintessential Editor (who was so kind to Alpha Read) for me, pointed out how often I did that. What that actually does is dehumanize your character. It buts the character in the way of her own story. So let’s go all the way back to that first draft of Sojourn and see what Corey wanted me to see.

Here’s the Alpha Draft:

I close my eyes an instant before I approach the threshold. I feel something brush over the tip of my nose. The heel of my left leather shoe scrapes along something too. I open my wings, and use the force of the air to turn just before I glide into a red-painted wall. My wings strain at the effort, feeling as if they might yank off no matter that my mind knows that’s physically impossible on a mathematical level.

Notice that three out of four sentences begin with “I.” Notice the word “I” is in that sentence five times. We want to get rid of some of that redundancy and make this a bit more active? How do you do that though without a subject? Well, I choose a different subject.  Let’s look at this latest draft.

My eyes clench shut an instant before I approach the threshold. I feel something brush over the tip of my nose. The heel of my left leather shoe scrapes along something, too. I use my wings and the force of the air to turn just before I glide into a red-painted wall. My wings strain at the effort, feeling as if they might yank off no matter that my mind knows that’s physically impossible on a mathematical level.

Now, two out of five sentences begin with “I,” and I only see that pronoun four times. Just look at it though. See that “I feel” there? That’s right. This needs a nice, final once-over for just that problem.  Like I said, I know it’s there, but now that I edit for it, I’ll think about it more as I draft. So let’s look at how this paragraph should probably end up:

My eyes clench shut an instant before I approach the threshold. Something brushes the tip of my nose, and the heel of my left leather shoe scrapes along something else. My wings open, and the force of the air causes me to turn just before I glide into a red-painted wall. My wings strain at the effort, feeling as if they might yank off no matter that my mind knows that’s physically impossible on a mathematical level.

[image error]Now, I have four sentences, and not a one of them starts with the pronoun “I.” In fact, that pronoun only appears twice. The structure of the sentence is still active, I’ve only changed the subject and the predicate. I noticed it more on this draft, but in the final draft, I’ll look for things like this to tighten up that prose and make life easier on the reader.

I thought you’d all like a glimpse into the editing process and note things to look out for. I’ll be better at it the next time I write in first person, but, at the very least, I know to look out for that before I through one word at a reader a hyperbolic number of times.  If you’re writing in first person, try this out. Do a search for the word “I.” If your program is like mine, (I use Pages, but that’s more because it came with my Mac than an endorsement.) the program will highlight all the instances. I did it with my first draft, and suddenly it looked like someone overlaid my document with sheet music.  I mean yellow highlights everywhere!

Like adverbs, you can’t eliminate a part of speech entirely, nor can you simply never use that pronoun. The trick is to use it when you need it, and not to let it get out of control. Trust me, I’ve read each of these four drafts about seven times each, and I still see instances where I can revise and tighten the structure of my sentences (sorry Sara!).  Like any tool or trick, you want to do everything you do with intent and awareness.  I hope this gives you something to work with in your drafts.

Thanks for reading,

Matt