Colin S. Smith's Blog, page 67

Your Good Works Bring God Good Pleasure

“She stood up!”

I’ll never forget the feeling of wonder and delight when our 8-month-old squirmed around on the floor for a minute, reached out, took my hand, and stood up on her feet for the first time. I started yelling for my wife to come over and see. Watching my excitement, you would have thought she won an Olympic medal.

Yet, all she did was stand, and only for about three seconds before she toppled over. Is that really impressive? I stand up hundreds of times every day, and I (usually) don’t fall down when I do, but I’m not expecting anyone to cheer for me. Why the reaction? Because I’m her father, and every step of her growth and development brings me joy. You can understand that.

So, why is it so hard for us to believe that our Heavenly Father feels the same way about our us?

Is God only pleased with our perfection?

Here’s a serious question: is God only pleased with the perfection of his children, or does he delight in our progress as well? Christians treasure the promise that one day we will stand in glory before our Father and hear him say, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21). We look forward to that moment in our future, but do we believe it’s happening now?

Is God’s “well done” reserved for the day when no stain of sin remains, or does he delight when we stand up and take a step of progress in our faith, even if we topple over again?

I’m concerned that many Christians live with the sneaking suspicion, or the settled conviction, that God is generally displeased with their lives. As if he sees all the shortcomings, all the failures, all the room for growth, and holds back his approval until his sanctifying work is done. But if God is our Father, and in Christ we are his children, doesn’t it make sense that he would take pleasure in our growth as well as our glorification?

God’s Pleasure in the Process

Listen carefully to Paul’s description of Christian growth in Philippians 2:12-13. He writes:

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.

Do you see it? God works in you, Christian, for his good pleasure!

Day by day, God is at work in his people. He is affecting our will, giving us new and increasing desires to honor him in all of life. He is affecting our work, empowering Christ-exalting actions by his Holy Spirit. This work of God in our lives will culminate in glory, but God’s delight is not held back until then. He is pleased with the process.

Consider an analogy in creation. God certainly had the power to create the world in an instant. Yet, he chose to take time. Why? Why create over multiple days? Why step back at the end of each day and declare the goodness of it all? Because God takes delight in the creation process itself!

So why would we expect the “new creation” (2 Corinthians 5:17) of his people be any different? Surely, God could bring us to full-glory in an instant. Yet, he chooses to take time. He chooses to walk us through a process of transformation over the course of our lives. He does this for his good pleasure, which is not only reserved for the finished product, but the progress we make along the way.

God is our creator, who works to make us grow. And God is our Father, who delights to watch us grow. Knowing this, believing this, and remembering this will make a world of a difference in our lives. Having God as your Father is the antidote to exhaustion, frustration, and despair.

The antidote to exhaustion

Are you feeling weary and worn down in the Christian life? Does the thought of pressing on in the pursuit of holiness sound exhausting to you? Remember that God is your Father.

By his sheer mercy, God has adopted you as one of his own children. He is raising you to live like more and more like your brother Jesus and he will bring this work to completion (Philippians 1:6). So instead of pursuing a white-knuckled morality in an attempt to make yourself worthy of God’s affection, remember that he has warmly welcomed you into his family. Then, keep working to honor your Father, knowing that he is at work in you, for his good pleasure.

The antidote to frustration

Are you frustrated in your Christian life? Are you discouraged by the lack of growth you see? Remember that God is your Father.

You may not feel pleased with the progress you see in your life. You may look at other believers and think, “I’m nowhere near where I wish I was.” That’s not all bad. We do want to keep growing. But, beware of projecting this same attitude on God, as if he were looking down on you with disapproval and disappointment. Like any good father, he is pleased with the process, with every step of growth.

The antidote to despair

Are you in the midst of despair in your Christian life? Has some sin or some misstep left you wondering if you are loved by God at all? Remember that he is your Father.

No good father ceases to love his child when they fail. The truth is we are all spiritual failures, rebels against the living God by nature, and completely undeserving of any of his affection. But God sent his perfect Son to bear the punishment for our failures upon himself at the cross, so that in Christ we might become the children of God (John 1:12). We cannot lose this status, because we did not earn it.

So friend, rest in the wonderful position your Savior has purchased for you. God is your Father. He will be pleased in your perfection on the last day, but he is pleased with the progress he works in you day by day as well.

[Photo Credit: Unsplash]

Five Things I’d Tell My Younger Self About Marriage

My wife, Jen, and I recently celebrated 16 years of marriage. I guess we can’t be labeled “newlyweds,” and we aren’t exactly “veterans” yet, but 16 years does give us a unique position to help those who are just beginning or close to their wedding date. We aren’t so far ahead that 50 years of marriage seems like an unimaginable future, but we are no longer naive to the real fight that marriage is.

The longer you are married, the more you learn. No one starts and has everything figured out in their marriage. Sometimes couples I counsel will ask me, “What would you go back and tell your 22-year-old self about marriage?” The following is a list of what I would say to my younger self from my current seat as a Christian, husband, and pastor––five things I wish I had known when I got married.

“Marriage is a big deal.”

Maybe it was pie-in-the-sky thinking or youthful unawareness, but neither Jen nor I knew exactly how big of a deal marriage was. I had taken marriage classes in college, we had completed premarital work, and we even had mentor-couples pouring into us. None of those necessarily prompted the profundity of marriage.

Most people have very few life-altering moments over the course of their existence––but marriage is one of those experiences that changes everything.

Within Scripture you see how God himself instituted marriage as a special covenantal relationship between Adam and Eve, the most special of all his creation. The first man and woman were called to leave, cleave, and become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Now that I know  the proper biblical framework, I would tell my younger self to study that text and look at the theological significance of what God did. God’s crowning union for his highest creation was marriage. It is a big deal to God; it should be a big deal to us.

“Lay the tracks that your marriage will run on.”

If I spoke directly to myself, I would say, “Listen here 22-year-old self, you think you know what it takes to make this relationship work, and you mistakenly believe that you’ll be able to make adjustments and grow your marriage later. While you can always change, start now. Start making good habits for yourself, for your future wife, and for your home right now.”

I would be frank here with the younger version of myself. 22-year-old me might fight me, and that’s understandable: What 22-year-old doesn’t think more of himself than he should? I would stress disciplines, communication, and physical health. In the end, I would try to encourage him that good habits made over time will serve his marriage well. 

“Expect suffering, but don’t let it consume you.”

I couldn’t have given you a decent explanation of providence when I said “I do,” but the experiences God has lead us through have opened our eyes to see how clearly he works out his sovereignty in the lives of his people.

We assumed having and raising kids would be easy. We assumed conflict was for other couples. When we got married, we learned how selfish we really were. We had kids and learned how angry we were. We assumed that every child we were given would have a long and happy life. We didn’t know the bitter, dark providence we would walk through the death and burial of our four-and-a-half month-old son. Losing grandparents, losing homes, and transitioning to new cultures for ministry were all part of God’s plan for us, and each of these stages was hard.

I would’ve told myself very calmly in the most patient tone I could muster, “Jerrod, this life will be hard. But you can trust that God is unceasingly good in the midst of hardness. Your flesh will want to have fast answers to questions with deep, practical implications. Trust in the goodness of God and take tragedy one day at a time, even one second at a time. Tragedy won’t define you, but it certainly can consume you. Don’t let it consume you. That type of thinking will only lead to bitterness, resentment, depression, and hopelessness.

“Strive to be like Job who at the end of his very difficult life was able to say to God: ‘I had heard you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see you’ (Job 42:5). God will make himself personally known in the middle of the darkness and that is a good gift.”

“Stand strong for what God has designed.”

Little did I know in 2002 that within 15 years the US government would overturn a court ruling and redefine marriage into something God never intended it to be. I would encourage my younger self to study, practice, and preach on the importance of God’s design and how it affects every area of society. I’d warn myself about the future of a culture that rejects God and what he intended for marriage.

I would calmly sit myself down, look myself in the eye, and say, “Jerrod, if you really do believe what God has revealed about himself in the Bible, you will find yourself at odds with the culture soon. You are going to have to find ways to speak truthfully and lovingly. In every stage of your marriage, fight to remember how important it is to hold true to a covenant. Regularly invest time in teaching and training your other married friends about God’s design for marriage.”

“The gospel is your only hope to stay married.”

As the music started and I had the last few moments to talk, I would say: “Jerrod, the biggest problem in your marriage will be you. Your old life will want to call you back to selfishness, personal gain, and self-justification. Marriage is going to show you how selfish you are, and children will teach you how angry you are.

“Remember that the good news of Jesus Christ will be your sustaining hope. Remember your sin had real, eternal consequences, but the personal God of the universe did something about that sin: He sent his Son so you could live. Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection changed your life forever, and you always need to keep that good news foremost in your life. The same gospel that saved you will sustain your marriage. You have a great picture here of how the gospel plays out in your marriage with the imagery of Christ and his Church. Live to lead and love like Christ did, and lead your bride with sacrifice and love.”

[Photo Credit: Unsplash]

How to Make Sense of Confusing Bible Passages

What in the world?

I was reading Psalm 128 and I thought, Surely this passage is used to promote the prosperity gospel:

Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord,

   who walks in his ways!

You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands;

   you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. (vv. 1-2)

I kept reading:

Your wife will be like a fruitful vine

   within your house;

your children will be like olive shoots

   around your table.

Behold, thus shall the man be blessed

   who fears the Lord. (vv. 3-4)

Now I’m even more confused, I thought. What about homes that never see the blessing of children? Does this psalm apply equally to them?

Five Principles for Confusing Bible Passages

Let’s be honest: Scripture can be confusing sometimes. As we grow in our knowledge of the whole Bible story, we run into these passages that can feel like roadblocks on a straight-and-narrow journey. So what do we do with them? How do we make sense of confusing Scripture passages?

1. Read the surrounding verses.

From the pulpit, Pastor Colin Smith often says, “Interpret Scripture in light of Scripture.” This is sound wisdom because all of God’s Word is breathed out by him and is useful for our growth (2 Timothy 3:16). It’s perfect and without error, which means God cannot contradict himself. So, if a verse or passage seems difficult, confusing, or misplaced, we interpret it in light of what directly surrounds it. Ask the following questions:

What did the author say immediately before and after?
What did they say in the previous chapter(s)?
What’s the message of the book as a whole?

Seek answers to these questions, and you’ll find you have a much clearer idea of what’s intended in the initial passage. Let’s apply this principle to Psalm 128:

Psalm 128. The surrounding psalms were written upon the return of God’s people from exile. God had restored their fortunes and blessed them by delivering them from their enemies and bringing them home. What the psalmist writes isn’t, “If you’re good, God will bless you,” but “God has been good to you and has restored that which you lost when you were in exile.” It would’ve been clear to God’s people that this blessing was far from what they deserved for the very sin that sent them into captivity—yet God was faithful and kind to them.

2. Think similar and different.

Now consider the whole of Scripture and where you’ve seen similar words or themes. Ask, Where have I seen this before? You can also ask where you’ve read something seemingly contrary to what you’re reading, which will shed light on the meaning of the present verses.

Psalm 128. I read the word “blessed” and immediately think of Jesus’ words in the Beatitudes: “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:3). The poor in spirit are those who fear the Lord (Psalm 128:1), who recognize their sin and confess their eternal need for a Savior. Jesus says that God’s kingdom will be theirs—and to have such blessing is the ultimate way in which “it shall be well with [them]” (v. 2). So Psalm 128 isn’t necessarily about God promising earthly prosperity—although blessing does come from “the labor of [our] hands”—but eternal prosperity, the good and security of our souls.

3. Consult sound commentaries.

One of God’s good gifts to the Church throughout the centuries has been commentary on Scripture, written by learned, wise theologians who love God and his Word. We should always try to interpret what we’re reading with the help of the Spirit and other Scriptures before reading other interpretations since they can influence our thinking. (Of course, we want to be influenced for good—but we’ll grow more in studying Scripture as we seek our own interpretation first, even if it gets corrected).

Psalm 128. English minister Joseph Caryl clarifies the meaning of verse 4: God extends his goodness both in family blessing and in spiritual blessing. He says,

…the man fearing God shall be blessed more than [with wife and children]: his blessing shall come in the best way (Psalms 128:5): “The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion”; his temporal mercies shall come in a spiritual way, yea, he shall have spiritual blessings: “He shall bless thee out of Zion”; and he shall have blessings beyond his own walls: “Thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children, and peace upon Israel.”

God’s ways are infinitely higher than ours, and this is how it should be!
Click To Tweet

4. Study the passage with other believers.

If a passage of Scripture still confuses you after seeking context and reading commentaries, ask a friend or small group to look at the verses with you. Share your struggles with it, pray together for the Spirit’s clarity and help, and discuss it.

Some of the most enlightening moments for me have happened with other believers, as they explained truth to me in a fresh way and guided my interpretation of God’s Word. Who might you ask to open the Bible with you? What burning questions could you bring to your small group this week?

5. Submit yourself to God’s Word.

Ultimately, the secret things belong to the Lord (Deuteronomy 29:29). We won’t be able to grasp everything we read fully, nor will all our questions be answered. If we could wrap our minds around God—all he is, all he’s planned, and all he’s said—he wouldn’t be worthy of our worship. His ways and thoughts are infinitely higher than ours, and this is the way it should be (Isaiah 55:9)!

So, at the end of the day, when we can’t fully understand what we’re reading, we choose to trust the One who speaks without error. We trust his invitation that when we seek him with all our hearts, we will find him (Jeremiah 29:13). We trust in Christ’s promise to give us the Helper, the Spirit of truth, who will guide, counsel, and lead us into truth (John 15:26).

And the more we hunger to know him more and treasure the infinite depths of his Word, the more we will worship.

[Photo Credit: Unsplash]

RELATED POSTS:

The 3-5 Method: Studying God’s Word When You’re Tired and Busy
What’s So Important About Studying the Bible?
How to Start Reading Your Bible

The post How to Make Sense of Confusing Bible Passages appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.

Key Connections (August 17, 2018)

Here are your Key Connections for the week!

Are Some Determined To Believe The Worst About Reformed Theology? (Don Carson, The Gospel Coalition)

In the mood for some higher-level thinking? Don Carson reviews Determined to Believe: The Sovereignty of God, Freedom, Faith, and Human Responsibility by John C. Lennox. Here’s a preview of what Carson has to say about this book:

Lennox defends not a solid commitment to divine sovereignty and to human responsibility, but a solid commitment to domesticated divine sovereignty and a form of human responsibility that presupposes a libertarian view of freedom.

Why People Are Reluctant To Discuss Faith (Barna)

Barna Research Group posted a study and infographic seeking to highlight the reasons why some people choose not to discuss matters of faith and religion: “I’m put off by how religion has been politicized” is listed as the third most common reason. You can read about the most common reason here.

The ABC’s Of Reformed Apologetics (James Richey, Christward Collective)

James Richey on the connection between theology and apologetics, and why “it is only through a truly reformed, presuppositional apologetic that we may adequately challenge the wisdom of the world.” This article is also good for those who like to read about Covenant Theology and the Sufficiency of Scripture.

Safe To Admit Our Shame (Scott Sauls, ScottSauls.com)

A great article on our tendency to hide when we feel shame which also explores the counter-intuitive need to shed the things we hide behind. Here’s a glimpse into the article:

This theme of deflecting, blaming, and hiding has remained with us since Eden. Painfully aware of our own nakedness and shame, we, too, have become masters at hiding. Instead of fig leaves, we use other, more sophisticated strategies to cover the things about ourselves that we don’t want others to see. If anyone really gets to know us, if the real truth about us is exposed, surely no one—not even God—will love or desire us.

The Best Place To Flourish (Colin Smith, Unlocking The Bible)

Focus your best effort on what God has given you to do right now. It’s easy to waste your life, always looking at the next thing, but the best place to flourish is where God has set you down. Whatever God has given you to do, do it with all your heart! My pastor used to say, “Colin, there are no perfect places. The best place to flourish is…

Watch, listen, and read the rest of the sermon clip here!

The post Key Connections (August 17, 2018) appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.

What Is the Church?

The first time I thought about this question seriously was with a group of friends in the junior common room of the London Bible College. We were students who loved the Lord, and we were all studying theology. We met together for worship and prayer. We shared fellowship. We were in each other’s lives, and we were studying the Bible.

So the question naturally came up: Are we a church? If you have been involved in student leadership at a Christian college or led a campus ministry, you have probably had this discussion. It isn’t a simple question to answer.

What Did Jesus Mean by “Church”?

If three Christians meet at a bus stop every morning, are they a church? What if they talk about the Bible on the train or at Starbucks? Is your small group a church? And if not, why not?

A growing number of Christians have the idea that “church” is simply the plural of “Christian.” They feel that any group of Christians meeting at any time or place is a church.

Are they right?

What does the word “church” mean on the lips of Jesus? Whatever Jesus means when he uses the word “church” is what I want it to mean for me. And it’s what you want it to mean for you.  

There are only two occasions in all of the four Gospels where the word “church” occurs. Our Lord said the word “church” twice and used it in two ways:  

All believers in every time and place
A local congregation of believers, called out by God to worship, and sent out by God to serve

All Believers in Every Age and Place

And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church and the gates of Hades [hell] will not overcome it. (v. 18)

The first time Jesus used the word “church” is well-known. Peter has just confessed that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and Christ says to him, “I will build my church” (v. 18).

The church that Christ is building has to refer to all believers in every age and in every place, because there is only one. “My church” is singular! It encompasses all Christians.

Christ is not speaking here about a local church like The Orchard, which is only one church among many. Our Lord isn’t speaking about the Baptists, the Methodists, the Lutherans, or the Catholics. He speaks here about all believers in every age and in every place.

There is one Church and Christ says, “I build it.” Believers in Christ from every time, every place, and every culture are one, whatever brand of church they belong to. The New Testament makes this emphasis time and again. There is one body in the Lord.

The Local Congregation

If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you…But if he will not listen, take one or two others along…If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church… (Matthew 18:15-17)

The second time Jesus spoke about the Church, he’s talking about a dispute between two believers. So this cannot mean, “Tell it to all believers in every age and in every place.”  That’s impossible! Nobody could do that. Jesus is clearly speaking about a local congregation of believers.

In his book of essays, Alan Stibbs points out that when you see a thin crescent in the sky, nobody says, “There’s part of the moon.” We say, “There’s the moon” (234).

The visible part is genuine moon, and it is more, it is actually—though to us invisibly—united with all the rest of the moon. Similarly, a local Christian congregation is genuine church become visible. It is “body of Christ” and invisibly one in him with the whole of his body.

A local Christian congregation is genuine church become visible.
Click To Tweet

A local Christian congregation is called by God to worship and sent out by God to serve. The Greek word for church that Jesus uses is ekklesia, which means “called out.” God says, “Call the people out to worship! Call them out to hear my Word, so they learn to revere me.” God’s people in the Old Testament were not only called out by God to worship, they were sent out by God to serve:

I will make you a light to the nations that you may bring my salvation to the ends of the earth. (Isaiah 49:6)

The Privilege of Belonging to the Church

If you belong to Jesus Christ, you are part of the community drawn from every culture, every place, and every generation. God has released you from the tyranny of sin and death and hell. He has set you free in a new exodus, through Jesus Christ.

He has called you out, and he has brought us together so that on the ground, where you are sitting right now, there may be a community of people who declare the praise of Jesus Christ.  

[This article is adapted from Pastor Colin’s sermon, What Is The Church and Why Does It Matter?, from the series Sharing the Passion of Jesus Christ. | Photo credit: UNSPLASH]

RELATED POSTS:

The Body: Christ’s Working Through the Church, Part 1
The Building: Christ’s Presence in the Church, Part 1
The Bride: Christ’s Union With the Church, Part 1

The post What Is the Church? appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.

Six Ways to Prepare Young Christians for Dating

Three months ago I went on my first date.

I planned my outfit days in advance. My mom took pictures of me. My stomach was a knot of nervous (and excited) anticipation. My date and I had been friends for a while and we both liked each other, so it was a natural step. But no one knows how a first date will go. Will there be awkward silence? Will I say something stupid? Will we even like hanging out one-on-one?

This date went perfectly, though, which led to second, third, fourth, and many dates since then.

But entering the dating world still felt scary. And complicated. How do we date to the glory of God? Or are we supposed to call it courtship? What’s the difference? And how involved should our parents be? What about boundaries? Since God’s Word doesn’t provide specific answers to these questions, young Christians are often left feeling overwhelmed and confused. I’ve definitely been there.

But I’ve also had a sense of confidence, because my parents invested the time in preparing me to date well. Throughout my teen years, they both taught me intentionally and cultivated organic habits that contributed to my understanding of dating.

I’m certainly no expert (I’ve been dating for a grand total of 100 days), but I’ve learned a lot about how to prepare to date—and how to prepare my future children to date.

For parents of kids or teenagers, here are six of those things:

1. Encourage open communication.

From as early as I can remember, I knew that I could talk to my parents about anything—questions, crushes, curiosities. No topic was off-limits. If I had questions about relationships, my parents wanted me to ask them. If I disagreed with them, I was welcome to voice that and dialogue about it. Fostering open and regular age-appropriate communication was the foundation of helping me prepare for (and then navigate!) a dating relationship.

Learning to communicate well with the people you’re closest to is key for a healthy relationship. By training your kids to prioritize communication, you’re training them to enter a romantic relationship equipped with the tools to encourage openingly, criticize honestly, and forgive freely.

Learning to communicate well with the people you’re closest to is key for a healthy relationship.
Click To Tweet

2. Read biblical books on romance together.

My parents and I have read a lot of books together—including a lot of Christian books on dating and marriage. These sparked loads of healthy conversations and nuggets of wisdom I’m applying today. However, I also learned that no book can perfectly prepare you for your own unique story, and forcing a certain system or formula onto your relationship is not always ideal.

Reading these books was always in connection with reading God’s Word together. My parents led family worship each night, and as we read through books like Proverbs, they never passed up an opportunity to instruct my brother and me on the wisdom of choosing a godly partner.

3. Dispel rom-com fantasies.

My mom and I love a good, clean romantic comedy (we binge Hallmark Christmas movies with the endurance of Olympic athletes). But we also love poking fun at them, because something my mom has done since I was young is show me the unreality of them. Let’s get real: Who wears full makeup to bed every night and wakes up looking flawless? Life is not like a rom-com; it’s much more ordinary, unglamorous, and boring.

And it’s critical to learn this before entering a relationship. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself terribly disappointed.

That’s something my boyfriend and I are trying to incorporate into our relationship now. We don’t want every date to be flashy and magical because that’s just not a reflection of real life. So instead of always dressing up and going to fancy restaurants, we go shoe shopping together and play board games with my brother and get ice cream from McDonald’s.

The Bible shows us that all of life should be about loving God most and serving those around us (Matthew 22:36-39). Romantic relationships should reflect those priorities, and my parents taught me that early. They helped me see that sequestering ourselves from community and accountability and idolizing romantic feelings is unwise and unbiblical.

4. Discourage starting too early.

When I was 15, I bought a t-shirt that said, “No Boyfriend, No Drama.” My dad loved that shirt. And there is a lot of wisdom in it! Teens deal with a lot of drama—and romantic relationships severely amplify that drama. But that’s not the only (or even best) reason to discourage dating in middle or high school.

The Bible doesn’t have a category for casual dating. It has a category for friendship, and it has a category for marriage. That space in between should be intentional. I don’t think God’s Word leaves room for casually dating purely “for fun” (with no desire for commitment). The Bible calls us to pursue purity and to “flee from sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Because of that, I’m dating because I want to see if my boyfriend and I are compatible for marriage. That’s why I wholeheartedly agree with Marshall Segal’s advice: “Wait to date until you can marry.” So don’t let your kids start too early. By saving them from potentially unwise or premature relationships, you’re teaching them that “the greatest prize in any life, regardless of our relationship status, is to know Christ and be known by him, to love him and be loved by him.”

5. Instill the importance of character.

During my pre-teen and young-teen years, my parents and I often talked about the importance of character. Character was particularly important in choosing friends. As I got older, my mom helped me understand that the character I looked for in a friend should be the same character I looked for in a boyfriend. Is he honest? Does he have integrity? Is he hard-working? Is he encouraging? Character is key.

My mom was especially concerned that I learn about character before I start dating because, as she warned, “Mr. Dreamy” can change everything. Romantic feelings and physical attraction can manipulate and deceive us. When someone attractive starts showing an interest in you, it’s tempting to follow your heart into danger. But if your primary focus is character, you’ll be better able to exercise discernment and self-control. Train your kids to love God’s truth and pursue his wisdom above all else.

6. Model a healthy relationship.

Over the years, my parents taught me a lot of profound lessons, but nothing prepared me to date better than watching them model a healthy and biblical relationship. Next February they’ll celebrate their 27th wedding anniversary. They’ve consistently modeled a relationship built on mutual trust and faithfulness, encouragement, service, and genuine respect for one another.

Train your kids to love God’s truth and pursue his wisdom above all else.
Click To Tweet

Of course, it hasn’t always been perfect—but that’s taught me too! They’ve helped me see how relationships are hard work. They’re messy, they’re complicated, and they require dying daily to yourself for the sake of another person. That’s what a gospel-shaped life looks like, because that’s what Jesus’ life looked like.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:3-8)

Doing romance God’s way requires more than feelings and fluff; it requires humility and selflessness. It requires repentance and reconciliation. That’s not easy.

But it is worth it, because relationships are incredibly good gifts from an unbelievably kind God. He’s given us relationships to reflect his character and goodness. He’s given marriage as a picture of Christ and the church. And he’s given us romance to glorify him and sanctify us, to increase our worship and our humility, and to bring joy and wonder to our lives.

That’s the kind of romance I want.  

[Photo Credit: Unsplash]

RELATED POSTS:

How Do You Guard Your Heart?
Gospel Character
Four Steps to Consider in Confrontation

The post Six Ways to Prepare Young Christians for Dating appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.

The Place of Perfection In the Christian Life

Perfectionists don’t settle for anything less than perfect. We desire perfect relationships, to meet specific goals, and to reach a certain standard. Yet when conflict comes, we withdraw in hopelessness. When we fail, we beat ourselves up. And if we don’t reach the standard we set for ourselves, we determine to find a different way to reach perfection.

Perhaps we could say God is a perfectionist—but in a far different way than we are. In the beginning, he created a perfect world. He ordained a perfect salvation plan for mankind. In the end, he promises us a perfect body and soul in the day of the Lord. He promises to create a flawless new heaven and earth without sin and corruption at the end of time.

God is perfect—no sin accompanies him. He is perfectly holy and set apart.

So our human desire for perfection is good and reflects our perfect God. But our struggle comes when we seek perfection in the wrong places. Are we seeking it in this world—in our career, in our home, as a spouse or parent? Or are we seeking perfection in heavenly things? What is the place of perfection in the Christian life?

Scripture enlightens us about it in at least five places:

Creation: God Made a Perfect World

God looked at all he had made and saw, “It was very good” (Genesis 1:31). He created the heavens and the earth with perfection. And man, whom he created in his own image, lived in the perfect world, in perfect fellowship with God.

God’s goal from the beginning set out for a perfect world with perfect humans—Adam and Eve—who worshiped him as perfectly as he deserved.

Fall: Man Became Imperfect

Three chapters into the Bible, Adam and Eve took and ate the one thing he forbade them to eat (3:6). They sinned. Therefore, man no longer lived in perfect fellowship with God, for God kicked him out of the garden (3:24). As a result, the world was no longer perfect. Sin infected it. Weeds sprung up (3:17). Pain entered (3:16-17). Death was born (3:19).

Man’s sin came from a desire to acquire knowledge and to be powerful like God. Before sinning, they possessed what we hope for as we wait on the return of our Lord. They possessed a body and soul without sin and the manifestation of God’s presence. They wanted to be like God, but not merely as an image-bearer: They wanted his perfect knowledge and power as they walked in the garden (3:5). With pride, man felt God kept something good from him. He felt God owed him. In selfishness, man wanted what God had.

God’s goal from the beginning set out for a perfect world with perfect humans.
Click To Tweet

Law: God Commanded Perfection

After sin entered the world through humanity, God gave the law, and the law was strict. Man replied, “We will do everything that the Lord commanded,” but he couldn’t (Leviticus 24:3; 7).

To temporarily forgive sin, God set up a sacrificial system requiring the bloodshed of animals. His standard sought perfection. No tiny spot could exist on sacrificial animal. Likewise, he gave laws in which clean persons could not mingle with unclean persons or animals.

God demanded perfect obedience to his law, which no one could attain. Instead, his people sinned again and again. God declared the price for sin was blood, but the blood had to be pure, coming from one untainted. Even when it was spilled, its covering was temporary.

So he sent his Son to be perfect for us.

Redemption: God Accomplished Perfection

Jesus set his eyes on perfection in humbling himself through full obedience to his Father’s perfect will (Philippians 2:8). He took on sin when he himself had never known sin (2 Corinthians 5:21). Because of sin, we can no longer please God. But through faith in Jesus Christ, who bore our sins on the cross and took the wrath of God we deserved, we can please him (John 14:6; Hebrews 11:6).

God meant us to be perfect—but sin made this impossible. So he sent us his perfect Son to be perfect for us—to bear our sin on the cross and defeat it by rising from the grave.

God will restore all of his creation to its original state—perfection. And we will be with God.
Click To Tweet

Restoration: God Promises to Perfect All Things

The Bible says there will be a day with no tears, no death, no mourning, and no pain (Revelation 21:4). These will be things of the past, for God will make a new heaven and earth (21:1). In this day, God will dwell with his people like he once did with Adam and Eve. God will utterly purify us by the blood of Jesus Christ the Lamb, for nothing with sin can enter into the kingdom of heaven (21:27), and we will share in the glory of Jesus (Romans 8:17). God will give us a new and glorious body, and creation itself will no longer decay.

God will restore all of his creation to its original state—perfection. And we will be with God.

Finally Perfect

Our nature desires perfection. God created us this way. The question is, what’s the nature of our desire? Is it like Adam and Eve’s desire to be like God for their own sake—to take hold of more now, in our earthly life, than what God has given us? Is it a desire to do everything right for the sake of accomplishment—even though we can’t?

Yes, God meant for us to be like him. He created us in his image to glorify him. Though we fell short (Romans 3:23), God still purposes this for us, only not on earth, but in heaven.

It won’t be easy to get there, for sin and pain and sweat exist. But as we persevere by faith in Jesus Christ, God will accomplish this in us (Hebrews 10:36), by degrees now and finally when we’re with him.

Therefore, let us spend our desire for perfection toward what will last. Our good name won’t be remembered. Our earthly accomplishments will burn on the day of judgment. May we persevere in killing sin, doing good works that glorify God, and continuing in the faith, until our sanctification into the perfect image of Christ in the day of our Lord is complete.

[Photo Credit: Unsplash]

RELATED POSTS:

Freedom from Perfectionism
The True Colors of Perfectionism
Restore Creation!

The post The Place of Perfection In the Christian Life appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.

How to Get Over Your Fear of Sharing the Gospel

“I shared the gospel _____ times this week.”

Each Sunday at church, we pass down the pews sign-in sheets containing this line. It’s an opportunity for us as a church to celebrate and encourage each other as we learn to proclaim Christ to our world. You probably wouldn’t be surprised, though, to know that some of us (no names) occasionally leave this line blank and pass the sign-in folder along. I’ll offer myself as an example. We could spend hours examining the reasons I don’t share the gospel as frequently as I could, but one I’m wrestling with lately is fear.

What if I do it wrong? What if I turn someone away even more? What if I accidentally evangelize someone who’s already a believer? Is this an appropriate situation to talk about faith? Why can’t God just speak to this person in a dream? What if I don’t talk about sin enough? What if I talk about sin too much?

God hasn’t left us alone with the message of the gospel, to fend for ourselves. He is with us.
Click To Tweet

For a while, I agonized over my own fear and then compounded it by imagining how God must be frustrated with me and tired of listening to this ridiculous monologue. He must be up in heaven tapping his foot, waiting for me to just get over it already. Time’s a-wasting. God’s got work to do, and I’m holding it up with my pointless anxiety. Which, by the way, is sinful and demonstrative of my lack of trust in the power of the gospel. I should hurry up and get over that, too.

It felt like I had a lot of work to do. I also got the idea somehow that I shouldn’t be asking God for help with this. He has already provided everything I need for life and godliness, so shouldn’t I be able to get over fear? Jesus already did all the hard work of dying for me.

Shouldn’t be I able to handle telling people about it?

The Irony of Fear

After more than a few cycles of this, the irony hit me: I was trying, on my own, to defeat the sin that kept me from sharing the gospel, which is partly about telling people they can’t defeat sin on their own. I had forgotten that growth in the Christian faith is not measured by my degree of independence or self-sufficiency, but by an increasing dependence on and submission to God’s power.

Throughout Scripture, God reminds his people over and over that the reason they can be free from fear is his own presence. His presence and provision grant freedom from fear:

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9)

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

Fear not, for I am with you;

be not dismayed, for I am your God;

I will strengthen you, I will help you,

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” (John 14:27)

Clearly, God knows that to “get over” fear, we need him. He says over and over that the solution is not for me to buck up or muster courage from the depths of my own heart, but to lean into him and into the peace and strength he provides. Even Paul asks for prayer that God would provide him courage to speak:

…[pray] also for me, that words may be given to me in opening my mouth boldly to proclaim the mystery of the gospel. (Ephesians 6:19)

Pray about Your Fear

So I began praying that God would take away my fear. I prayed that he would give me a greater love for those around me and that I would submit to the comfort of his Spirit rather than to my fear. I prayed God would open my mouth in situations where I would be tempted to be quiet. Amazingly, it began to work. I don’t have enough data yet to build a complete case, but very quickly God gave me opportunities to joyfully talk about Christ, unhindered by fear, with complete strangers and with some close to me.

In those times, God has given me a calmness in sharing what he has accomplished. My understanding of my dependence on him has even continued to grow as I realize that I’m powerless to generate belief and repentance in someone else, regardless of how well I convey the message.

If you have fear around evangelism, pray. Don’t accept the lie that God will refuse to help you until you build your own strength. Ask God to replace your fear with his love and give you his peace. God hasn’t left us alone with the message of the gospel, to fend for ourselves.

His message in Scripture is clear: He is with us, and he is the one who takes away our fear.

RELATED POSTS:

Five Tips for Sharing the Gospel with Family and Friends
Seven Reasons Not to Fear Sharing Your Faith
Fruitful Evangelism, Gospel Flexibility

The post How to Get Over Your Fear of Sharing the Gospel appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.

Key Connections (August 10, 2018)

Here are your Key Connections for the week!

Isn’t The Bible Full of Errors? (John Piper, Desiring God)

A sermon (and audio transcript) by John Piper in which he discusses the history of the Scriptures, ancient Roman texts, why he thinks “it’s probably just as well that we don’t have those [original manuscripts],” and why he “agree[s] with Don Carson and the others that the story of the woman caught in adultery was not in the Gospel of John when he wrote it.”

4 Reasons Christians Skip Church (Daryl Crouch, The Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission)

Daryl Crouch on why “it’s no longer just fashionable to be late to church.” He writes, “many Christians in post-Christian America simply do not see weekly church gathering as a necessary part of their spiritual formation,” and offers “four realities help explain why Christians make skipping church a way of life.”

10 Things I Learned From 2 Corinthians (Mike Leake, Borrowed Light)

Mike Leake discusses why this passage is helpful for those struggling with the prosperity gospel. He also contemplates the smell of suffering.

Good News for Parents Feeling Guilty About Technology (Maggie Pope, Gospel Centered Discipleship)

“My little girl had noticed a pattern, the same one you see when you look around the mall. What are all the big girls doing? When you go to the park, what are all the parents doing?” Maggie Pope answers these questions and considers how to solve the problem from a theological point of view.

Have You Made The “Ask” of Jesus Christ? (Colin Smith, Unlocking The Bible)

“Becoming a Christian is not about you doing something great for Christ. It’s about Christ doing something great for you. If you come to Christ thinking you’re offering him something special, you will never receive anything from him.” In this post, Colin Smith examines Mark 1:40-42 as he offers three important characteristics one must have before they “receive what Christ offers.”

The post Key Connections (August 10, 2018) appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.

The Best Place to Flourish

Video Transcript:

Joseph served in Potiphar’s house for 11 years. We know this because Joseph was 17 years old when he was sold as a slave (Genesis 37:2), and he was thirty when he was appointed prime minister by Pharaoh (Genesis 41:46). As we will see next time, Joseph spent two years in prison (Genesis 41:1). So, 30 (years old) minus 17 (years old) gives you 13 (years), minus two (years in prison), gives you 11 years that Joseph spent serving as an employee in Potiphar’s house.

Some folks have the idea that success should come quickly, but this story shows us a better way. If God should grant you sudden success, be on your guard. Sudden success is fraught with spiritual dangers. It is fertile ground for pride, presumption, and ambition. Why? Because you don’t have the opportunity to prepare for the responsibility that comes with it.

Martyn Lloyd Jones used to say, “The worst thing that can happen to a man is that he should succeed before he is ready.” God knows when you are ready to be trusted with more.

Trust is earned. Nobody has a right to be trusted. You earn trust by proving faithful over time. Joseph had the favor of God long before he had the favor of Potiphar. The favor of God is a gift of grace that flows to you in Jesus Christ. You don’t earn it.

Trust is earned. Nobody has a right to be trusted. You earn trust by proving faithful over time.
Click To Tweet

But Joseph won the favor of Potiphar by his loyalty. He earned it by the quality of his work over time, “Joseph found favor in [Potiphar’s] sight” (Genesis 39:4). This growing trust that was earned was the reason why he kept being promoted.

Here’s the principle, right from the Bible: “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much” (Matthew 25:21). Be faithful over what God has entrusted to you now.

Focus your best effort on what God has given you to do right now. It’s easy to waste your life, always looking at the next thing, but the best place to flourish is where God has set you down. Whatever God has given you to do, do it with all your heart! My pastor used to say, “Colin, there are no perfect places. The best place to flourish is where God has set you now.”

It’s easy to get taken up with what you are going to do. Whatever opportunities may open for you in the future will in large measure be shaped by the way you apply yourself to what you are doing now. Always do your best work. Others are watching, and you never know who might be measuring you for a larger task.

[This sermon clip is adapted from Pastor Colin’s sermon, “Blessed and Successful,” from the series Snapshots of a Godly Life.]

RELATED POSTS:

Joseph’s Story
Are You Losing a Passion for Your Work?
The Urgency of Willing Work, Part 1

The post The Best Place to Flourish appeared first on Unlocking the Bible.