Nick Stockton's Blog: Be The Blog ..., page 6

Living After Midnight? Try 9 PM!

The family and I were watching TV. What show? Who knows … just read the story. I felt that I was done. Eyelids getting heavy, getting too relaxed on the couch, and every moment leads to the possibility of snoring. I knew I was done, got up from the couch and said, “Good night.”

My wife replies, “What?”

I head to the stairs, shuffling my feet, and eyes barely open. Just a few more steps between me and the sandman.

I decided another reply was in order, “Yes, I am tired.”

She asks “Are you tired?”

Damm right I am tired, that’s why I am heading to bed … I thought to myself. But, I knew expressing that statement would lead me to sleep on the couch. Where the whole family is sitting with the dog. The same couch I just left to go upstairs and get some sleep. How was that going to work anyway?

Stay on target, just a few more steps to sleep!

I reply again, “Good Night everyone!”

She is in disbelief. She looks at her smartphone and says, “But it’s only 9 PM!”

Really? Feels like midnight to me! What can I do to get out of this conversation so I can get some [explicitive] sleep!

“Got an early day tomorrow and I need to get some shut-eye.”

It was at that moment, I just heard the words. 9PM! Yes. Long gone are the days of late Saturday nights leading to early Sunday mornings, hanging out, and nothing to do the next day. Now, are the days of early to bed and early to rise.

I look at my family, eyes fixed on the screen, and intently watching the TV. How many more moments will I have like this? I decided to head back to the couch, sit on my spot, and enjoy this time.

It took me a minute to fall asleep and start snoring.

My kids were yelling, “DAD! STOP IT!”.

It was then I hear my wife say, “Go upstairs if you are going to do that!”

Bottom line: when you’re tired, just go to bed. If the family stops you, remind them that you snore. They won’t stop you ever again!

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I want you to know …

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I want you to know when I wake up in the morning, I make sure the coffee maker has fresh coffee because I know that you’re tired and look forward to the first pot of coffee to wake you up.

I want you to know that really the dog runs the house when we are not home (and when we are).

I want you to know that when I come home tonight, I look forward to seeing your face and having dinner with you.

I want you to know that every day with you is wonderful, but the dog is keeping a close eye on everything, so be careful about what you say!

Patients and Patience: Know when to go home

Disclaimer: This post is not about anyone who is currently living, dead, or actually in the hospital. It’s just a story … let us keep it that way.

There comes a time in everyone’s life where they have to spend a few nights in the hospital. If you haven’t gone through the experience yet, more power to you. But for the other ninety-nine point nine percent of us, this will happen sometime in our life. Sorry. It just will.

Usually, as the folks who are not in the hospital, we have an obligation to those in the hospital. They get out of meetings. They rearrange our schedules. They do what they can to support whoever is not with us. That is what a family does, in case you didn’t know.

A hospital visit is never how you see it on TV. The family enters, the sick person is attached to a bunch of tubes, and usually, and everything is going to be ok. But that is not what I am talking about. When you are able to sit up, have food on your own, and have some reasonable expectation of when you’re getting out: then the relatives flock in and as a patient exercising patience, there is only so much you can do about it. If you find them annoying outside of the hospital, you will find them annoying amplified ten-fold when you are in a hospital bed and get leave the room. Did I go there? Yes. I just did!

When this happens, there are three things you can do to get rid of annoying hospital guests: 1) Saying you want to sleep, 2) keep looking at the clock, 3) say visiting hours are ending, or 4) keep pressing the nurse call button.

No problem! Here is how you can tell that your relative who is in the hospital wants you to go home.

Saying you want to sleep

When a person in the hospital wants to go to sleep … let them. That’s why you’re in the hospital in the first place, to get better. If you can’t get rid of your hospital guests, then start lowering your eyelids and they should get the message.

Keep Looking at the Clock

Just like in school, if you are distracted from the conversation, then your guests should realize it is time to go. They will think you are on some serious pain medication and excuse themselves out the door. You can keep telling them that you are tired. After all, you’re in the hospital! If they don’t get the hint, just fake sleep. They will leave soon enough!

Say Visiting Hours are Ending

As a patient, if you are saying that visiting hours are over, they will believe you. Most of the time, families have no understanding of your schedule and will rely on you to tell them when visiting hours are over. Am I serious? Yes. I am. But, how are you supposed to know when visiting hours are over … you just want to get out of the hospital!

Keep Pressing the Nurse Call Button

If you need some backup to get your relatives out of the room, just keep pressing the nurse call button. After a while of trying to talk to you, but continually getting interrupted, they will figure out that it is not a good time for the visit. Once again, if this doesn’t work, fake sleep …

Conclusion

Using any of the techniques above lets people know that you want to get some rest and get better. This isn’t a hotel! It is nice for the family to come out when you’re in the hospital, but as I mentioned before, if they are annoying outside of the hospital doors, it is only amplified when you’re in a hospital bed.

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Snow Days …

Do you remember snow days? Think about it for a moment. Peering with sleepy eyes out of the window and looking at the whole neighborhood with snow. Waking up at the earliest moments of the morning, turning on the radio, and listening intently for the name of your school district to be announced. Once they say it, your heart fills with joy at the prospect of not going to school, meeting up with your friends, and having a great day off.

Sunday night. The weather service sent out an email saying that we are under a Winter Storm Warning. According to the weather service, a “warning” means that you should “Take action” as bad weather is heading your way (link: https://www.weather.gov/safety/winter-ww). The kids are tucked away in bed. I let them know that there was the “possibility” that they wouldn’t have school tomorrow. Any time you say to a kid that they might get a day off, the smile stretches from ear-to-ear, with the hope of a snow day. After they go upstairs, I sit in my favorite chair by the window, take a glance outside, and a few flakes start falling from the sky. That is the point when I fell asleep.

The next morning, after a few hours of sleep, I looked outside. The whole neighborhood blanketed in snow. My son was the first to shoot down the stairs.

He said, “What did they say on the radio, Dad?”

I replied, “Well, I have no idea. Let’s find out”.

As I turn the dial over to the news channel, they start mentioning the names of the various school districts in alphabetical order.

My daughter runs down the stairs, “It’s a snow day!”

I reply, “Not until we get the official word”.

The radio announcer continues to call out school districts. Then, the most miraculous thing happened … our district was closed for the day! The kids jumped up and down in repeated excitement or getting off a sugar rush.

By the time they settled down a minute and started to run back upstairs, I said, “This is 2022. There are no snow days anymore because the county puts all of their homework on the portal acess by Chromebooks. Get dressed because it is school time!”

Mortified, they look at each other, then look at me. They were not happy. It is like explaining to your kids that there is no Santa Claus. The joy and glee in their voices soon turned to a low monotone as they asked the question, “What do you mean there are no more snow days?”

Bottom line: Technology is a double-edged sword. In the first place, it can stream the latest movie, find you the best deal, get conversation over email, or give you the news in an instant. On the downside, because information is at your fingertips … could get rid of snowdays.

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Where is your mask?

As part of the world-wide effort to keep people from COVID infection, there are certain protocols that you simply can not ignore. One of them, which effects civility and everyday life, is the mask. Yes the three millimeter piece of cloth, held by elastic hoops going around your ears, is the one item of clothing which will keep you from entering the hospital (along with vaccination shots … of course).

Mandated by local ordinance, good manners, and the pursuit of living: you can’t enter a building, go to the bathroom, or even say “Hello” to a friend without the mask. It is ubiquitous in modern life as the smartphone, which only got on the list ten to fifteen years ago. When you leave the house in the morning, you better have your mask, or you’re hitting the drive thru.

It’s early in the morning on a Monday. Late for work? Yes. No time for coffee? Darn right! I collect my keys, which are positioned by the front door. I open the front door. Before crossing the threshold, I run through the mental checklist: keys, wallet, mask? Mask? I am sure I have one in my back pocket! I have to go! Usually, it is “trust but verify” that I have these items, but in my haste, I trusted that everything is ok, and head out the door. As the key turns, the cylinders click, and run to the car. Did I forget anything? I try to reassure myself that everything was there and my focus is the road ahead and not the door behind.

Heading down the Interstate at an amazing rate of speed until I get to the office. Sliding into a parking slot, checking the time. Time: 8:55 AM. First stand up meeting: 9:00 AM. Time to door: two minutes. Exiting the car, click the key FOB to lock, and then run to the office. Mask? Check. I reach in my back pocket, it is there. I put it on my face. I grab the handle to enter the office. Locked. Do I have my badge to get in the office? I stop for a second and look around. Noooooo! I don’t have my badge!

Shoot! I can’t enter the office without it! What am I going to do? I try to follow an old lady into the office and was immediately put down by a swinging purse. I had my mask on so she didn’t recognize me. I kept yelling out, “But I am …”. Nope. With those words, I got a purse to the eye and a few whacks to the ribs.

I tried calling my friend in the office with the smartphone. Nope. He is already in the meeting.

I looked through the window of the conference room. It was somebody’s birthday. Wait. The old lady, she is retiring and this is her retirement party! As I feverishly knock on the window, everyone is having too good of a time, with cake, wearing hats, and blasting music. I peered through the window, a tear welled up in my eye, then security guards grabbed me, and threw me towards the road.

I said to the guards, “Please sir. I work here! My name is …” By then, they couldn’t recognize me with the mask on, so they walked away, went back through the office doors, and never to be heard from again.

Bottom line: Masks are awesome in keeping everyone safe, but when you’re heading out the door in the morning, don’t forget there are other items you need take, so you can make it through a day.

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The Digital Divide

I want you to think for a second of what life would be like without a computer. No direct access to information. Reading a newspaper instead of going to a website. Using the telephone book to get a phone number. Going to the library to check out a book or a movie … for the fun of it. Use a landline instead of a phone which is connected to your hip. Sending a letter to a friend using the postal service instead of an email. Smartphones are great because they bring information to your fingertips, bring movies streaming to your television, and make ordering goods much quicker. But, it is how you use the information to make better choices and get the cheapest goods. 

During the pandemic, those who had broadband stayed at home as their kids learned through high-definition screens, while others sat in the parking lot at the local library to get a wifi signal. We learned first-hand about the digital divide and how not having access to the Internet led to a disruption of life as we know it.

The digital divide is real. Even through you can read a newspaper, or send a letter, or go to the library to send and receive content – the world has moved on-line. It is no longer a luxury to have broadband, but a necessity to keeping a job, kids in school, and even finding a phone number. The next time you hold your smartphone, think about that.

Fueling the Drive Ahead

First, Happy New Year!

Many of us have cleaned up after New Year’s parties, taking down Christmas lights, and settling into the fact that a change has set resolutions for the rest of the year. Resolutions? Yes! The (usually) empty promises we set at the beginning of the year, stating that things will be different, but eventually, the fuel runs out, life gets in the way, and lofty ambitions become overcome by events.

How can we take the vision of what we want to accomplish, make those goals manageable, and execute them? How can we fuel these goals and deliver on those resolutions?

That’s the problem, right? The fuel of how to drive the dreams into reality. How do we not get ‘burned out’ by pushing the goals too hard, too fast, that they do not make meaningful change?

Don’t drive the dream, it should be organic

If you have to commit so many resources to the change, then ‘burnout’ will occur. Change is organic so it can fit into the other priorities of your life. If you drive the dream too fast, you will run out of fuel for everything else.

Establish reasonable steps to accomplish your goals

Break down a task into reasonable steps and be realistic about how long it takes to accomplish them.

Stay on target

Nothing is achieved overnight. It takes time to integrate changes into your life. If your end date is too soon, changes don’t take hold, and you’ll wind up starting again.

Change is hard. That’s why we develop resolutions in the first place. Remember that as you make the change it’s not easy. It takes time and patience to make it work.

All of us have something in our lives which we want to change. But, moving forward,.know where you are with the issue, know where you are going, and chart a good course to get there. Driving the solution is what it’s about and making sure you are properly resourced to take care of the work ahead.

Anyway, thank you for your time!

Dear 2022

Dear 2022,

I know that it’s only been one day since you started, but I wanted to lay down a few expectations that I am looking for …

1) Get rid of COVID-19, I don’t care which variant that it is, Delta, Omnicron, Zeta, whatever … Enough is enough! Let’s get back to a normal life where I don’t have to wear a mask, get my own food from a restaurant, and go to the movies. Seriously, enough is enough!

2) There is no number two! Just take care of #1 and everything else will work out.

Thanks!

What I Learned Through Telecommuting

After being stuck in your house for a year, typing on the keyboard, double-checking emojis before clicking “send”: telecommuting gets old!

The best way to describe telecommuting is watching “The Shinning”, a movie about a guy who becomes a caretaker of a haunted hotel over the winter and brings his family with him.

At the beginning of the movie, things are great. He gets some writing done, the family is adjusting, and life is wonderful. But, the longer he is at the hotel, the more reality slips away. Starts typing phrases into the typewriter over and over again. No contact with others except his family. Eventually, the whole thing goes south, and loses his shit with an ax through a garden labyrinth, looking for his son, “HEEEERRREEEE’SSSS JJJOOOHHHNNNYYYY !!!!!”

Working at home for the last year is exactly (well not exactly … my family is alive and I am not running around with an ax). In the beginning, I was focused on the benefits of telecommuting: less gas, and less wear on the car. Everyone worked over Teams, Zoom, Meet, or and accomplished the work. I got the see the family more as they went to virtual school. My wife liked the fact that I cooked dinner by the time she came home. The laundry was clean. The dog didn’t see the inside of a crate for a year. Life is good.

Then, a few months in, you get tired of the virtual water cooler and miss .. well … the real water cooler to talk around. With the kids at online school, and my load of housework increasing, I felt like I was doing three jobs at the same time. I couldn’t focus my full attention on any one of them. After a while, becoming distracted was a way of life, putting in the time at work and (since there was no more commuting) my days became longer.

The bottom line is the fact that telecommuting is great in the beginning. Working in your house, getting things done, not driving everywhere, is awesome. But after a while, it would be nice to walk into a store without a mask, or worry every time you go food shopping that you might pick up “the virus”. Enough is enough. Now is the time we have to band together, get the shot, leave the labyrinth, and return life back to normal.

New Years Day: Putting Your Goals in Action

So, you survived last year. Congratulations! Today begins a new year, a blank slate, and some leftover baggage from last year. You might have sat down and made out a set of resolutions, things that you want to change about the path taken last year. All of us create the lofty goals on New Year’s Eve, but when the haze is gone, the alarm clock starts blaring, and the headache passes: You are still the same old you with a bunch of resolutions that are destined to fail. How can you take those resolutions and put them into action?

So, it’s New Year’s Day. The family was up late last night and slept in until mid-morning. We always have a tradition on  Christmas and New Year’s Day that I wake up early and make breakfast. Scrambled eggs, turkey bacon, hash browns, maybe some Eglish muffins, blueberry pancakes, and some maple sausage (not the links but the sausage patties). Orange juice is the drink of choice for the kids and coffee for the adults. Usually, one of the kids wakes up with enough sanity to help me out. This year, my daughter is the first one up.

As I an overseeing the hash browns, turkey bacon, pancakes, and eggs on the four gas burners of the stove. The over is set to “warm” so when things get done, I have a place to put them until everything ready.

As I was turning the eggs, I ask my daughter, “So, do you have any plans for this year?”

Her reply is, “Yeah. My plans are to help you with breakfast, then go upstairs and talk to my friends for a while.”

“No, do you have any goals that you are planning in the new year?”

“Yeah, I have a few things written down.”

“How do you plan to put them in action?”

“By taking the list of goals, wadding them into a paper ball, and throwing them into the trash can around December when I think about the next.”

I smile, because I know she’s being a smartass.

I continue, “One of the hardest things about having goals is implementing a plan to get them done. It is easy to write a goal on a piece of paper, but much harder to make a plan and stick to it.”

I explain to my daughter, “Take a sheet of paper, draw out twelve columns, and break down your goals. Each month you accomplish a meaningful part of the goal, thus you’ll be able to complete it by December.”

I can almost hear her eyes rolling around in her head, which usually means ‘parent overreach’, and she will remain quiet until later.

“If you don’t plan this stuff out, it doesn’t happen.”

I turn the hashbrowns over, put some overdone turkey bacon on a plate, and put it in the warming oven.

“Thanks for the advice Dad.”, my daughter goes out of the kitchen to set the table and ensure everyone has silverware and glasses for orange juice.

Once your kids cross the line and become teenagers, they put on an attitude that they have everything figured out and they don’t need your advice. In fact, it is just the opposite and it is hard to balance their need for independence and not lay down a bunch of  ‘life experience’ to ensure they don’t wind up in the same traps you once encountered. All you can do is try to provide ‘lessons learned’ when needed and hope they can make good choices on their own.