Sherri Sand's Blog, page 9

How Does Negativity Infect Us?

How does negativity infect us?

I had a tightly scheduled trip to Eugene to interview some candidates for our bookkeeping position.

Because of congested airspace, I missed my connecting flight.

So just after lunchtime, I found myself listening as the kind reservationist explained that all the flights to Eugene were oversold, but they did have a seat on a midnight flight.

It was interesting how my old nature was so receptive to the negative thoughts (think lies from the enemy) that started floating my way.

Critical thoughts toward the airline industry, the people in charge of scheduling flights, and the lack of consideration in not delaying the outbound flight that left many of us stranded.

Criticism and judgment snuggled up against me and I started to wrap my arms around them to draw them closer. Those negative thoughts felt sort of…good. In a justified kind of way.

I started to wallow in how poorly I’d been treated. I found myself planning how I would spread that negativity to my friends in a humorous sort of way–—I am a victim, but handling it well. Add in a long-suffering sigh and a small shrug that says, “Oh, well. That’s life.”

But I took stock and realized I really wasn’t upset. I was just agreeing with those negative thoughts. Those thoughts that wanted to tamper with my peace.

So I chose to disagree with the author of negativity.

If God allowed my plane to leave without me, then I was good with it. I want to be available for whatever adventure he might have for me–—even if it was just learning this lesson.

And a seat opened up for me on a late afternoon flight.

With my tight schedule, I only had one day to work and interview. So I crammed as much into that day as I could and burned the candle into the next one.

My head hit the pillow after 3am and a leg cramp woke me four hours later. My alarm wasn’t set to go off for a while yet, so I lay there contemplating drifting back to sleep or driving into work for an hour before catching my flight home.

Again, negative thoughts started infiltrating my brain. “I’m so tired. I feel so awful.”

A moment later, I took stock. Sure, I felt a little off, but I wasn’t exhausted. I actually felt joy. Yeah, surprised me too.

But each time I agreed with one of those negative thoughts I did start feeling yucky and tired.

So, again, I chose to disagree with the liar.

It helps so much to recognize this as a battle in which the enemy is attempting to infiltrate our camp—-rather than accepting these thoughts as our own.

The enemy wants us to think we are fighting our own flesh, when we are really fighting against a terrorist that excels in stealthy operations against us

(Eph. 6:12).

So I chose to lean into the smidgen of joy I felt, knowing joy gives us our strength (Neh. 8:10).

The more I leaned into it, the bigger it became. Joy is infectious.

It was kind of a Homer Simpson “Doh!” moment, when I realized, that’s why Paul said to think on things that are lovely and pure and honorable (Phil. 4:8). We just feel better. Happier. Encouraged. And that joy fills us and explodes onto the people around us.

Who doesn’t want a joy bomb to land on them?

So, what we are thinking and agreeing with either slimes us (and those around us), or it spreads life in us and through us.

Prayer

Father God, shine a light on my thought life. Show me what I am allowing in and believing to be my own thoughts. Reveal where I am agreeing with lies and the author of lies. Teach me about the fruit of Your Spirit and how to apply them to my life and the situations that come at me. Teach me how to walk in love and patience. How to let joy wrap its arms around me. Teach me how to accept myself and give myself the grace I so desperately need. The grace and love You lavish on me. Thank you that You are the fullness of those fruits—-love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-control. Teach me how to be more like You. I love you! In Jesus’ name, amen.

How Much Do We Trust?

Is the act of believing a form of prayer?

As I prayed for my kids one day, I found myself grabbing for prayers. Fix-it prayers.

You see, my middle son has aspirations to play college basketball, and fear started speaking to me, “How will coaches find him in our small town of mountains and sage brush?”

My boat started taking on water fast. The more I prayed, the more anxiety I felt. Worry was grabbing the oars and paddling hard.

So I lifted my oars out of the water and told God that I was more anxious now than before I started praying.

I sensed His wink and a reassuring, “I’ve got your boy.” My oar dipped toward the water’s surface, “You sure?”

I felt God’s laughter as He said, “I’ve got him. I know the plans I have for him.” (Jer. 29:11)

I had somehow absorbed a negative belief about prayer when I was growing up. Difficulty would happen and the ladies in the church would promise to pray.

But I didn’t see victory through prayer. I saw disappointment and people clutching the edges of their hymnals every Sunday.

No one ever taught me this, but somehow I adopted the belief that God wouldn’t be moved unless I prayed HARD.

I thought fervency and frequency determined whether God would hear me. And any sin in me would decrease His desire to listen and undo all my hard work of praying.

It seemed quite exhausting.

Walking in Faith

But through the years of listening to Graham Cooke and others, I’ve discovered the lie in that belief system.

We don’t have to beg God to meet our needs (Matt. 6:25-33). We don’t carry the weight of responsibility for a particular outcome.

Praying out of fear and worry won’t accomplish anything. We deny God’s character and His goodness when we operate out of worry.

God is saying to us, “Do you trust Me? Can you rejoice in My goodness through this difficulty? Can you connect with Me and gain perspective through My eyes? Can you let go of control and let Me meet your needs? Can you believe that I have your best in mind? Can you trust Me when My best for you and your best for you aren’t in alignment?”

“And if you can’t trust yet, are you willing to let Me to reveal My goodness to you?”

And we need to realize He’s not saying that the difficulty in our lives is from Him. But He does promise to be with us and get us through it if we lean on His understanding and not our own (Prov 3:5)

I realized that my best prayer is to stand in a place of belief. Even if I don’t say a word my heart is smiling because I trust my heavenly Papa to do great things in my boy’s life.

My trust and belief open doors for God to work.

Fear and anxiety hinder what God can do in our lives—-because we can’t listen to God and fear at the same time. Fear shouts. God whispers.

And we step into control when we hold hands with fear and listen to its poison spread through our minds.

Anxiety and fear leave us tossed in the waves. We can’t see the shore and we become frightened.

When we trust, we are open to what God is doing. Through intimacy and connection, we get a glimpse of His plans and we get to pray those plans into existence with Him (Rom. 4:17).

Prayer

Father, stir and build my faith in You. I repent for unbelief. Take it far from me. I break agreements with the unbelief I’ve harbored. Some things are easy to trust You for. Others are like jumping off a cliff. I’m not there yet. Teach me Your ways. Please reveal Your goodness so I can walk in the freedom and joy You have for me. I want to walk free from fear and control, anxiety and worry. I want all You have for me. All those good things You established for me before the foundations of the world. Keep me in Your peace and teach me to fight the enemy for control of my mind. In Jesus’ name, amen!

Photos by Pixabay

Negativity Blocks Our Ears

Does negativity hinder our relationship with God?

The other morning I found myself trying to find my way back to God. I’d lost Him at my daughter’s basketball game the night before.

A few missed calls by the referees in a close game had tempers igniting in the stands. I usually try to connect with God when I feel my emotions crossing over to the dark side.

But I didn’t.

I owned my anger and lost God in the process. Of course, He didn’t lose me. But like with Adam in the garden, He was saying, “Where are you, Sherri?”

Only I couldn’t hear Him. A critical and judgmental spirit had knocked on my door and I’d let it in.

All evening I could feel negativity in my thoughts and hear it coming out of my mouth. I felt cranky and didn’t like it.

I repented for my attitude, but I didn’t feel any different. There was a void where joy and peace usually reside.

So I started thanking God for His goodness, and peace began trickling in. Thankfulness and praise create a pathway to intimacy with God (Psalm 100:4).

For some of us, praise and thankfulness are a well-traveled freeway. For others of us, it’s an overgrown trail we can barely find. Let alone walk upon.

It takes practice. But I’ve found the more I praise and step toward God, the happier I am. His peace becomes a protection around me, even when life is hectic.

Stepping into praise and thankfulness is also an act of warfare. The enemy flees when we resist his pull to cave into our flesh.

Though it is MUCH easier to walk (and speak) in negative ways than it is to wrestle the enemy for control of our minds.

When something goes wrong, the enemy has a litany of lies and half-truths he continuously feeds us—–for as long as we allow him.

We may actually have a well-traveled road into the enemy’s habitat of negativity.

Until we put up a “Road Closed” sign to him, we’ll continually struggle with feeling stressed and frustrated and cranky. We feel it, our family feels it and people who irritate us at the grocery store feel it.

And the only way to enforce that closed road is to cultivate a pathway to God.

There is no set way to connect with Him. I love journaling my thoughts to Him and then recording what I hear Him speaking to my heart and mind.

Others find Him out on a run, or while driving, or while taking a shower.

But I wonder if sometimes we talk at God rather than approaching Him with an expectation that He has something He wants to share with us?

Recently Mat and I attended a marriage conference in which many couples volunteered to let the leaders walk them through healing in front of the whole group. Over and over, we watched as a husband or wife was asked to close their eyes and ask Holy Spirit a question that pertained to their issue. In the beginning, I would find myself tensing up, fearing that God wouldn’t answer. But He did, every time. Then we practiced asking Holy Spirit questions in our own exercises. And I started hearing God more clearly.

I asked Him why and He said, “Because you expect to.” Talking to Him and expecting a response from Him changed things for me.

But sometimes we have specific issues that block us from hearing. Sin is the biggest culprit. Unforgiveness, bitterness, criticalness, judgment and so on.

Anything rooted in negativity wars against love.

So just ask Him, “Holy Spirit, what hinders my relationship with You?” Close your eyes and listen.

He may show you someone’s face or remind you of a conversation where you took offense. Trust Him to show you. It may not happen at the moment you ask the question, but He will show you.

He desires intimacy with each one of us more than we can comprehend.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, I want to walk intimately with you. I want joy and freedom and happiness. I hate the cloud I’ve been living under and command it out of my life in Jesus’ name. Negativity, you are not welcome in my life any longer. All forms of negativity you are commanded to leave me, and I repent for joining with you. I break all agreements I’ve made with you in any form. Father God, please take this negativity far from me and fill me with Your joy. Reveal to Me what You have in store for Me. In Jesus’ name, amen!

By IFCAR (Own work) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

Sunlit path by winterdove via freeimages

The Load We Carry

I wonder if we recognize our escape plans.

Since I was a little girl, I’ve loved jewelry. Whenever we were out shopping, my mom and I would always step into those magical stores with all the sparklies beneath the glass cases.

When Mat and I became engaged, I happened to work at a jewelry store. With that lovely employee discount, we were able to buy a beautiful diamond for my engagement ring. We had it set in a simple design knowing someday we would reset in something more elaborate.

Lately, as braces have been getting paid off and our kids are closer to venturing off on their own adventures, I’ve caught myself daydreaming about the type and style of ring I want. But one afternoon I noticed that I felt happier when I was thinking about a new ring. I looked forward to getting on the computer and hunting down the perfect setting.

And there was something in it that made me feel just a tad off.

So I asked God about it and He told me that dreaming about the new ring was an escape.

And I knew immediately what I was escaping from. Stress. Layers of it.

The bookkeeper in our family business recently resigned and I’m the go-to-girl, traveling back and forth across the state to keep the accounting side of the business operating. All the while trying to maintain my role as wife, mother (basketball season is in full swing for three of our kids) and author.

My brain doesn’t know if it is coming or going. In my wearied state, thinking of a new ring brought me pleasure.

God told me it’s the hunt that brings an exhilaration that creates an escape from stress.

Our world is full of these kinds of coping mechanisms: shopping, eating, pornography, reading, T.V., video gaming, gambling, and of course the internet. Some are seemingly benign while others are more obvious in their damage to ourselves or others.

Eating and reading have been my main relievers. When I’ve had a rough day, the thought of sitting down with a delectable dessert and a good book just makes me smile inside and the stress starts fading away. But if don’t deal with the stress and lean on my coping mechanisms, I’m merely surviving.

And my time and energy get sucked away by stress and avoidance, and then I’m not fully present to invest in the people most important to me.

The coping mechanism isn’t the true culprit, it’s merely pointing to the pressure we aren’t carrying well. It’s our escape from the true stress and pain in our lives. And sometimes the coping mechanism takes over and becomes a serious problem.

Recently, God asked me to go on a forty day fast from fiction reading—-my number one stress reliever.

He showed me that when I could be coming to Him, I’d go straight for a book and dive into someone else’s life to escape the pressure in mine.

I’m not a big internet or T.V. fan, so removing my reading time left my stresses right at the surface. I had a choice. I could drag my feet and endure the forty days (or say no to it altogether), or embrace the fast and see what God had planned for me—–which resulted in deeper intimacy with Him.

So I used that time to talk to Him or start into the stack of non-fiction books that I’ve been planning (for years) to get to, or dig into His word.

It truly changed me. I went from avoiding Him in my times of stress, to running to Him. And, once again, I’ve experienced how kind He is and how willing He is to comfort us and shed light on the load we carry.

His insights and wisdom bring greater freedom and wholeness.

Prayer

Jesus, would you gently reveal what I go to instead of You? Would You show me how to come to You in times of stress and pain? I want to know Your comfort and love, and have You show me how to respond to what is going on in my life. Thank you! In Jesus’ name, amen!

Photos by Pixabay

Fighting Against the Enemy

It was one of those days.

Nothing bad had really happened, just some minor growing pains between me and my daughter.

But it wasn’t fun and I hate feeling disconnected from the people I love. Unfortunately, that comes with teen territory—–their transition from childhood to adulthood with parents trying to hang on and let go at the same time.

So I was feeling rejection and loss. Part of my brain knew it would pass, but the other part was wallowing in the dejection of disconnect and the irritation of being wronged. Parenting can leave you a bit off balance.

I tried to pray, but wasn’t getting any relief from the gloom that had settled in. I just wanted God to fix it and help me feel better.

I didn’t want to make the effort to grab hold of what Jesus has done for me. It’s easier to float down the stream than dig in with our paddles and fight our way back upriver.

That stream we float down are the lies we are listening to. It’s much easier to float along the familiar—–you’re worthless, this is too hard, you’ll never change—–than to kick some enemy hinny and start training toward our freedom.

That afternoon, I realized that I was listening to lies—–those subtle thoughts that are so familiar and so from the pit of darkness.

Familiarity makes lies sound like truth.

If I’ve always felt unworthy, and that lie is deeply embedded in my belief system, it’s going to take a lot of effort and work to root it out and replace it with the truth.

But it can be done!

When the enemy throws out his hook and baits us with unworthiness, anger, lust, rejection or any other temptation and we make a choice to agree with those thoughts (which can happen on a nearly unconscious level), we’ve basically set out the welcome mat for the enemy to move in.

And move in he does.

But the Word of God and the blood of Jesus are his eviction notice.

We just have to learn how to apply them and walk in it.

Sometimes we may feel like we are in a battle we can’t win. The thoughts are too strong and too overwhelming to stop. It’s like a dam that has broken and the force behind it continually flattens us. In those cases, the enemy often has a right to us because of generational curses that need to be broken to bring relief to our minds and our emotions.

The enemy is the master of torment. And if we don’t know how to get free, we become like the scapegoat that gets bullied and beaten up every day. And we either become depressed or we shut off our emotions.

There are many tools and ministries out there to help people get free. Several of them have changed my life. It’s not easy, but it is so worth it.

So that afternoon, I prayed and broke those agreements (just a simple prayer:  I repent for allowing rejection to talk to me. I nail rejection to the cross. And I break all agreements I made with rejection.)

Then I asked God to remove rejection from me and share what He wanted to replace it with.

And the easiest way for me to hear Him is to close my eyes and ask Holy Spirit what He wants to give me and then wait for what comes to mind. It could be a picture or a sense of something or just a knowing.

What came to me when I asked was:  An overcoming nature.

Isn’t that beautiful? And isn’t it what we all want?

This is a journey He’s inviting us all on—–to learn to walk in freedom, together.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, please give me an awareness of the thoughts that are not my own. The lies that are speaking to me, inviting me to agree with them. I nail them to the cross and repent for partnering with them. I ask you to remove them from me and close the door to them. Reveal to me what You want to give me in place of these lies I’ve believed and partnered with. Teach me to run to you when I’m overwhelmed and teach me to listen to how You speak to me. Help me to recognize Your voice and separate You from the enemy’s lies that are so familiar that I’ve allowed into my house. Break me free from the generational curses that have been handed down in my family and teach me to walk the path You’ve laid before me. I want to love You as You’ve designed me to love. Thank you! In Jesus’ name, amen!

Balancing on the Brink photo by Paxson Woelber via Flickr – no changes made

Being Real With God

How real can we be with God?

How well does He handle our bad moods and emotions?

Years ago, God asked a friend of mine with an incredible life story, if she would let a book be written about her life. She told Him no. He asked her several times and she continued to refuse.

I struggled with this. A lot.

God—–the Creator of the universe—–Mr. All-Powerful—–asks you to do something and you say no? ‘Scuse me?

After she shared this, I went to God and told Him how troubled I was by her refusal. His reply completely dumbfounded me.

He said, “That’s real relationship, isn’t it?”

That gave me insight into the kind of relationship God wants to have with us.

God wants real relationship.

He can handle the messiness of our honesty and our raw emotions.

He doesn’t want fake relationship where His kids tell Him what they think He wants to hear.

Not that He’s a pushover.

Once, when I was praying for someone headed down a rocky path, God gave me a picture. In the picture, God shook the person violently and a seed popped out of the person’s mouth. The seed grew into a tree this individual climbed. This person’s expression glowed with pride in their accomplishments. In the next scene, an ax came to the base of the tree and cut the tree down. But when the tree toppled, Jesus caught the person in His arms.

Not long after that, I was struggling with a situation in my life. One afternoon I poured out my frustration to God and then pretty much demanded He fix it. And then proceeded to tell Him how He needed to fix it and how soon. I had mentally cocked my pistol and was loaded for bear.

In the next instance, my mind’s eye was filled with a picture of God whacking me on the back. Then a seed popped out of my mouth. The exact seed that I had seen in the previous picture. I knew this wasn’t going to turn out well for me, so I said, “You gonna cut down my tree?”

God kindly and firmly replied, “It’s a tree of self.”

Oh, the download that came with that statement. It’s a tree of selfishness. How I want things handled for my comfort in my timing.

I repented for my pride and selfishness, and my unwillingness to follow the path He’s asked me to walk in this situation. And He proceeded to show my why He’s asked me to walk this path.

And I got it. His love, His plan, and my willingness function together in a way that creates beautiful outcomes. Beautiful stories.

The lovely thing was God didn’t rebuke my honesty. He wasn’t offended by my frustration. I took my ugly, honest emotions and vented them to Him. I didn’t call my friends first. I didn’t gossip. I went to my Dad about a situation I was unhappy with. And He gave me an opportunity to adjust my perspective.

Prayer

Father, help me be completely honest and transparent with you. I need to know that you love me and accept me even in the messiness of my pain and anger. I want to go deeper with you and have a more intimate relationship with you. Help me to find you when my life feels the darkest. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Angry face photo  by Graeme Maclean via Flickr – no changes made

Living Like Sheep

Does God have a sense of humor?

He compares us to sheep and I have to think that makes Him laugh.

My friend, John, was driving past a field on a scorching summer day and noticed a group of sheep crowded oddly together in a tight circle. Then John detected the narrow shadow cast by a telephone pole. The sheep had spotted the tiny strip of shade and bunched together in an attempt to cool off.

How often do we find ourselves doing the same silly things to try to get our needs met?

How many of us have denied our craving for love, telling ourselves that we don’t really need other people?

I know I’ve made similar vows in the past. Ones that seemed to create a self-protective shell but actually became a prison.

I was with my sister-in-law the other day when she picked up her second grader from school. I stayed in the car with her two youngest. The next ten minutes were spent with them showing off their skills in using the backseat as their own personal jungle gym.

They would flip over the seat, slide to the floor and immediately glance up to make sure I was watching.

God never takes His eyes off each one of us. We are His delight (Zeph. 3:17). And He can’t get enough of us.

How is it that we make our God’s heart sing with joy for us?

Love.

He’s filled with it. For us.

He waits for us in quiet moments to turn to Him. To share our highs and lows or to just soak in His presence and get comforted and refreshed.

He has wisdom and strategies that are designed specifically for our difficulties.

But His love never pressures. He doesn’t press Himself into where He hasn’t been invited. It’s why we see some people connected to Him in certain areas of their lives, but living apart from Him in others.

We don’t have to fear bringing our junk to Him because He sees us through what He’s already paid for.

Though we may see the sin in our lives, He doesn’t (Psalm 103:12).

Say a teenage boy steals a car from the local dealership and when his father hears about it, he rushes down and pays for it—–giving his son full ownership.

Is the young man still driving a stolen vehicle?

No. The law was fulfilled when the car was paid for.

The boy is the only one who thinks he’s driving a stolen vehicle. Until someone tells him his father paid for it.

It doesn’t make sense that the boy should get away with it, though, does it? Should the kid get off scot free? Shouldn’t he pay for his thievery?

That kind of love doesn’t make sense…because it doesn’t originate with us. It comes from another source.

Do we understand what it means when we read the verse, “Love covers a multitude of sin?” (1 Peter 4:8)

Since God is love (1 John 4:8), the text really means, “God covers a multitude of sin.”

Our human nature demands that we pay for our sins. (Actually, I don’t think that belief springs from our human nature, I believe it is whispered to us from the enemy of our souls. The father of lies.)

Man’s love is brotherly (philio) and passionate (eros), but only God can agape us.

And when we choose to press into Him in those quiet moments when we get alone, we get filled and His love spills out on the desperate ones around us.

Prayer

Holy Spirit, teach me about this kind of love. The kind that doesn’t see people’s sin, but sees the wounded child hidden inside. The one who hides behind rebellion or fear or anger, living beneath a facade but who is dying for lack of acceptance and love. Teach me how to love myself with this kind of love. Fill me up and overflow me with Your love. Thank you! In Jesus’ name, amen.

Sheep photo by Pixabay

Photo The Good Shepherd by Waiting for the Word via Flickr

God Embraces Us In Our Sin

Can God be in the presence of sin?

When my kids were young  I taught them that He couldn’t. I believed it and wanted to encourage them to move toward sinless behavior. Or at least try their hardest to get close.

You know, “God’s not with you, so you might want to repent quickly.”

Fear is such an ugly thing to motivate people with.

In a recent discussion, my daughter, Brie, put into words what I’ve come to know but hadn’t clarified in my thoughts. She mentioned that God couldn’t be around sin. I replied that since Jesus died, God can now be around sin. She said, “No, He still can’t. He’s just dealt with it.”

My light bulb went on. When Jesus died in my place and your place on the cross, the thick curtain in the temple that separated God’s presence from people split down the middle. God was making it clear that His presence was now free to be among the people of the world.

Did the curtain split because God could now be in the presence of evil and sin? After all, the majority of the world still embraced their sin rather than Jesus. Had God lessened His standards through Jesus?

No, on the cross, sin was dealt with (Col. 2:13-14). The sin of the entire world was paid for in the body of Christ.

But people still need to accept the gift in order to spend eternity with God.

Do we treat non-believers as pre-Christians? Or do we want them to clean up their act—–at least the major stuff–—before they come to Jesus?

I wonder if we look at people mired in gambling addiction, pornography, drugs, sexual sins, gender confusion, assault and abuse the same way Jesus does?

I think we tend to feel a little disgusted that people don’t make better choices. We trip into a little bit of judgment. Or a whole lot.

How did Jesus treat the woman at the well (she’d had five husbands and was living with a new guy)? Did He fold His hands in front of His robe and solemnly (with love, of course) tell her to stop living in sexual sin?

Is that the Jesus of the Bible?

Sometimes we treat ourselves (and others) as if Jesus points a condemning finger.

He seemed to talk to her about everything except her sin. She dropped her water pot and ran back to town and brought all the townspeople out to Him. After an encounter with Jesus, she had no shame. She had hope

(John 4:7-42).

Have you noticed how kind and loving Jesus’ interactions were with the people who needed Him the most? The lost, the sin-filled, the raging demoniacs. All the riff-raff. Those thrown away by the religious were the ones Jesus touched.

That may be you and it may be me.

We may look like we have it all together, but on the inside we might be the lost and lonely. Desperately in need of His loving touch.

He will never turn you away.

Prayer

Father God, I’m desperately in need of Your love. A touch, a look, something tangible to show me that You’re real and that You love me. Me. That You see me. The one You say You made. Please reveal Yourself to me. I need to know You are real and that You care. I need to know You have me and that I’m safe and protected with You. In Jesus’ name, amen.

God Is Pleased With You!

Can God still be pleased with us when we are sinning?

How does He view our sin when we are hip deep in it?

I’ve wrestled with this question for much of my Christian life. I was certain He couldn’t, so I didn’t understand how He could keep from leaving me as a grease spot on the carpet after I yelled at my kids.

Would He hurl a lightning bolt the way I just hurled my angry words?

How can we have His pleasure when we are tripping into sin?

We moved across Oregon four years ago, so we now have a seven hour drive to visit family. That’s seven hours if you’re a law abiding citizen.

But if you travel just a wee ten mph faster than the posted limit, you can shave an hour off the drive. Oh, how the temptation calls, and how often I fall.

When I travel solo, I have all those lovely hours I could be talking to God, but instead I ignore Him. Why, you ask? Guilt.

I willingly and knowingly break the law because I have a need to speed. And I just can’t bring myself to look Him in the eye when I have my cruise control set at 75 mph. That may not seem like something to lose sleep over, but the law is the law and I’m breaking it. On purpose.

And I feel bad repenting because I know I’ll likely do it again. High percentage chance.

So after the last solo trip, I decided to talk with Him about it. Here’s what He said about my avoiding Him on the drive:

You didn’t come to Me with your speeding. You wanted to bypass the sin and have relationship. I was waiting to talk about your thoughts on getting there fast. I am in the journey, not the push. I love you and am not disappointed in you. Come to Me in your struggles and quandaries. You didn’t want to hear truth because you would have had to manage that appetite. The appetite wants to be fed. It wants its way. It wants to be ungoverned and free. I want to teach you to look to Me to meet your needs. To show you what’s broken and how to walk in freedom.

Choosing to walk with God does not mean we live sinless lives. The goal is not spotless behavior and a sparkling reputation.

The goal is relationship with Jesus. What is the by-product of intimacy with a fun-loving, joy-filled and loving God?

A life that is becoming free from the works of satan

(1 John 3:8). That means if we hang out with Jesus–—laugh with Him, cry with Him, and show Him our ugly stuff—-we become like Him. Sin becomes a non-issue in our lives.

I’m not saying that it will be easy. Some of us may be in bondage to sin with deep, deep roots and need the help of a deliverance counselor to get the healing and freedom we long for.

But as we learn to walk with Jesus as our friend, healer, counselor, deliverer…our everything—-our brokenness will be healed and we’ll walk in the freedom we were designed for.

Prayer

Jesus, teach me more about walking in Your presence. I want to bring my broken parts to You, but I’m scared. I fear rejection and shame. Help me to see You with the love You have for me. The hope and the joy You experience when You smile over me. Teach me to love myself through Your eyes. Thank you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Finding Hope

What would life be without hope?

Many of us live in that place. Just holding on by a fingertip.

Faith and hope are active ingredients. Like yeast, they make things rise. Your emotions, your spirit, your situation and expectations.

I’m not talking about creating a false confidence or a Pollyanna outlook.

This is hope based on truth. The truth that God is not disappointed in us. That He has our back. That He cares deeply about the tiniest circumstances of our lives–—because He cares about us.

But we need to understand what hope is and what it isn’t.

Hope is about where you place your trust. The kingdom you are believing from.

If we’ve tripped into the kingdom of darkness in our thinking, we’ll see the negative, believe for the worst. Live from disappointment to disappointment.

When we fight to keep our minds fixed on the view from heaven (where the outlook is always positive and rooted in belief, Eph. 2:6), and we trust in the one who calls things that are not as though they are (Rom. 4:17-18), our outlook will rise. Our hope will rise and our joy will rise.

It doesn’t mean that we’ll get what we want. We’ll get what God intends for our best.

That verse, “…even God, who gives life to the dead and calls into being that which does not exist,” (Rom. 4:17 NASB) is in the context of God promising Abraham that he would be a father. Abraham was too old for kids and his wife was way past child bearing years. It was physically impossible for them to create a family.

But we are connected to a God who gives life to things that are dead. Sarah’s womb was dead. But God brought it to life.

We may not get the job or the raise, but God promises to meet our needs.

But I wonder if sometimes, when He’s trying to meet our needs, we drive right by where He’s placed our provision and conclude that He doesn’t care.

Not many people trust God completely. And we tend to blame Him when things go sideways in our lives.

But how much have we let Him into our lives? How often do we take His hand and let Him lead us?

How closely do we listen when He’s speaking?

Many times we forget to invite God into the car and then speed past Him with a quick wave and a prayer tossed out the window.

Then when we crash on the next curve, questions start flying through our minds: Where was He when we wrecked? Is He good? Does He even care about me?

We often look to blame Him when we have squeezed Him out of the daily workings of our lives. Or maybe we invite Him along, but ignore His principles and push for our own agenda even while violating His.

He never retaliates. But just like the prodigal boy

(Luke 15:11-32), our choices can lead us away from the palace and into the pig slop.

But He never stops hoping for us, waiting on us with patience that flows from a heart consumed by love.

He is yours and you are His beloved.

Prayer

Jesus, help me to live from heaven’s perspective for my life and for the lives of the people around me. Give me an elevated view, Your view of what is going on. Fill me with love and peace and ignite hope in my soul. Thank you for loving me and being with me even when I violate Your principles. Please help me to walk in the way of truth and love. I repent for when I’ve ignored you to push for my own agenda. Thank you for believing in me and having patience in my journey! In Jesus’ name, amen.

Photo By christine via StockPholio.com

Cracked photo by Wayne Troung via Flickr – no changes made