Kai .'s Blog: Word Lover, Books, Poems and Scripts, page 2

Push

If I push
will you return
will you come back
from that dead space of
insecurity
apathy
confusion?

If I push
can I have you back
will you remember
will you transform
will you recall
when my arms
gave you comfort
my mind
gave you love
my soul
gave you home

If I push
I know you will run
further hide
burrow deeper
shielding from feeling
so pain can't destroy you

But I must push
force myself to you
propel myself forward in love
cocoon within the magic
of us

i must push

need

i need you
in the most
unrecognizable way
you reflect me
insatiable and reaching
longing and striving
realizing want bears no wrong
acceptance reflect reality
truth
you mesmerize me
capture me
stun me with
articulate clarity
i need you
like the match to my spirit
your voice warms my heart
your thoughts fill my soul
i need you

Remind Me

remind me
of love
bring it back to me
like a clear picture
a static free recording
let me touch it
taste it
savor its wonder
swirl in its pureness

remind me of love
give it to me
freely
unconditionally
a cherished gift
a magnificent prize

remind me of its sound
light and free
deep and guttural
absorbed and overwhelmed

i lost it
or it escaped me
but you bring it back
you make my body recall
my brain reconfigure
my life make sense
you bring it back to me
stay with me
please
remind me

Damn Me

how does one
purge the mind
spit out the mistake
regurgitate the garbage
douche away the disgusting residue

why is there no
clear cut way
of mental flushing
no membrane dialysis
no spiritual antiseptic
or memory diuretic

if i could i would
throw you up
shit you out
pass you throw
gurgle you up and
spit you away

if i could i would
scrub away
any layer you touched
any space that took in your sight
any membrane that absorbed your sound
or fell victim to your lying touch

I would discard every aspect of me
that was contaminated by you
surely the cleaner pieces are worth more
than the sum total of me, contaminated by you
but I can't figure out how
to cleanse me
to disinfect me
to decontaminate me
without
destroying me

I can't figure out how
to save me,
but damn me
for exposing my all
to you