Susan Beth Pfeffer's Blog, page 16

The Return Of Susan The Clipping Queen

I come from a family of newspaper readers, and my mother was always fabulous about f sending clippings of articles she knew you'd enjoy.

The Internet provides a universe of article clipping possibilities. So get your linking fingers ready, because here are a few things I think you might find interesting.

For starters, YARN with Figment has posted the winner of the Family Gatherings Essay Contest that I helped judge. This essay was my first choice, and I'm very pleased it won.

I really really really liked this article from the New York Times about what themes and endings in movies leave the audience most satisfied. Parts of it resonated with me and the choices I made writing Life As We Knew It:

What this suggested to her is that "the accomplishment the audience values most is not when the heroine saves the day or the hero defeats his opponent. Instead, she said, "the accomplishment the audience values most is resilience."

I got a letter recently from some middle school students who asked me, "Why did you make the meteor hit the moon instead of a planet?"

I replied that the moon got hit because I thought that could cause more damage than hitting Mars. Well, what did I know? It turns out this very planet of ours recently got hit by meteorites from Earth's Red Planet neighbor.

Those rocks should only have hit one of those nasty astronomers who maligned my sweet darling Pluto, the solar system's cutest onetime planet.

I think I liked this story about finding Charles Darwin's missing fossils because of everything I found when I cleaned out my file cabinet. There's gold in them thar files, if you're willing to look for it.

I'm off to read today's New York Times in search of even more interesting things to clip!

Now Is The Winter Of Our Content

This has been the easiest, and therefore most pleasant, winter I can remember.

Of course much of that is weather based. We've had a grand total of one snowstorm, and that was in October. Now I like snow (a lot actually, since it always reminds me of snowdays and I loved snowdays), but it's a real pleasure not to have to crawl over mounds of dirty frozen deadsnow, to get to my dirty frozen deadsnow car.

My parking lot is black ice capital, but not this winter. No snow and also no sleet, and above freezing temperatures practically every day. I've worn my winter coat and gloves four times (I'm giving the winter jacket I bought for Buxtehude a lot of wear), and I've scraped ice off my windshield maybe twice.

Now I know this easy weather isn't going to last, but neither will winter. Last winter, which was a long nasty one, started freezing over in December and didn't melt until March. So even if the snows start falling (and nothing serious is expected in the ten day forecast), the messy part will be over in six weeks or less.

I love this winter. I really do.

Everything else is going smooth and easy as well. I'm reteaching myself the joys of living on a budget, with the help of websites like Hot Flash Financial. I'm reading a lot (I started The Secret Life Of Houdini yesterday, and as part of my joys of budget, took it out of the library). I'm plowing my way through my backlog of DVDs (last night, Philadelphia, tonight The History Boys),weaning myself off my beloved sleeping pills, and I've even lost a couple of pounds. Friday evenings I write down five things I'm grateful for, and so far it hasn't been a struggle to find things to write down.

Oh, and thanks to owning a new computer, I've won 100% of my FreeCell games. How's that for an ego boost.

When I wrote Kid Power , my extremely good editor, Jeanne Vestal, taught me several things, one of which is characters can't have things completely easy. They have to have problems to solve, woes to feel. So I don't want you to think everything in my life is jim dandy. I have serious vacuum cleaner and toilet issues. One won't start and the other won't stop.

But I'll take that over sleet and freezing rain any day!

The Return Of Harry The Sofa King

I spent much of last week clearing out and organizing my file cabinet (a January kind of job). I went through every file of every book I've written, including a few I got paid for but the book never got published.

It turned out my favorite things to discover were reversion of rights forms, when my book hadn't sold enough copies for the publisher to want to have anything to do with it, so back all the rights came to me. I'm sure every time it happened, I felt, if not depressed, then at least saddened, but now I look at those pretty little letters and say, I can put this book on Kindle! Or Nook! Or anyplace else I want, once I learn how!

Learning how is among my January jobs, although with January flying by so fast (thanks to the incredible warm sunny weather we've been having all winter), it may end up being a February job. But it's definitely on the to do list, and should I ever succeed in doing so, you'll be the first to know.

I found a lot of other things in my files, but one of the things that made me happiest to locate was a copy of my manuscript, Harry The Sofa King. I told you all about it quite a while ago, but for those of you who don't commit my blog entries to memory (and shame on you if you don't), here's a link to the entry where I mentioned it (and a few other things).

I really truly loved Harry The Sofa King, but the last time I mentioned it to my agent, she said there was no market whatsoever for it. None. Nary a one.

I trust her to know these things, but that doesn't keep me from true love. So what I figured I'd do is type out the entire manuscript right here and right now, so anyone who stumbles by can read it. It was meant to be a picture book, so you'll have to imagine the illustrations.

All right. Here goes. Harry The Sofa King by Susan Beth Pfeffer Herself.

Once there was a small country with a king named Harry. Harry was very lonely for a king.

Harry knew why he was so lonely. He could never invite people to his castle because it was full of sofas. There were wall to wall sofas, sofas floor to ceiling.

When Harry wanted to take a bath, he had to carry seven sofas out of the bathtub.

No wonder Harry had no friends.

One day Harry had a great idea. The best thing about being a king is you got to order people around.

And now Harry knew just what he wanted to order people to do.

King Harry sent word throughout his land that every man, woman, and child in the kingdom had to come to his castle and bring all their money.

Soon all the people in the kingdom had lined up with their money. King Harry took their money from them and gave each of them lots of sofas.

By the end of the day, King Harry had a big pile of money and an empty castle.

It was wonderful to see his floors and walls again. King Harry found two rubber bands, five paper clips, and a sour ball.

He also saw his cat had had kittens.

Harry found a mop, a bucket, and some soap. He scrubbed the entire castle until it gleamed.

Then he took a long long bath.

Without any sofas, the castle looked kind of empty. But King Harry was sure once he made friends, the castle would be full and busy.

Harry stood at his window looking outside. But nobody came to visit him in his nice clean castle.

Harry spent every day cleaning his castle and taking baths. Sometimes he played with the kittens. But he grew lonelier and lonelier.

One afternoon, after taking his bath, Harry got dressed and went outside. He took some of his money with him, so he could buy an ice cream cone.

Harry walked over to the ice cream stand. On his walk, he saw people carrying sofas.

The man at the ice cream stand looked very nice. He smiled at King Harry.

"I'd like a vanilla cone please," King Harry said.

"That will be four sofas," the ice cream man said.

"I don't have any sofas on me," King Harry said. "Just money."

"I'll give you a cone this time," the ice cream man said. "But you'd better go home and get some sofas if you want to buy anything else."

King Harry went back to his castle and searched for sofas. But all he found were rubber bands and kittens.

The ice cream man had to be wrong, King Harry decided. He'd walk around his kingdom and find out just what was going on.

First he went to the supermarket.

"Here's your change," the grocery clerk said. "Two plaid sofas and a loveseat."

A street vendor was selling jewelry. "Ten sofas for this watch!" he shouted. "Twenty at a store."

Lots of people were buying his watches.

"Mommy, mommy, can I have a sofa?" a little boy cried. "I want to buy some gum."

Things were really busy at the bank.

All throughout the kingdom King Harry saw people with sofas piled on their heads.

They all seemed to have headaches as well.

King Harry wanted the people of his kingdom to be happy. So he sent out word that everyone in the kingdom should come back to the castle and bring all their sofas.

This time King Harry took the sofas and gave everyone back their money.

People smiled and laughed.

King Harry scattered all the sofas in the backyard of his castle. He put big signs up in the kingdom next door.

DISCOUNT SOFAS!!! the signs all said.

Harry put a large neon sign in his yard. it said SOFAS R US!!!
All the people from the kingdom next door bought the discount sofas.

King Harry kept two sofas for himself. One he kept in his living room for himself and his cats.

And he put a plaid sofa bed in the den for when his friend, the ice cream man, slept over.

Not Everyone Spends A Year Reading Shakespeare And Samuel Johnson

I certainly didn't.

Actually, my primary reading matter in 2011 was showbiz biographies/memoirs.

In case you don't believe me, here's the list of books I read from Jan. 1-Dec. 31, 2011. When necessary (i.e. when I feel like it), I'll add a note or two.

Death and the Virgin Queen- Chris Skidmore
Jane Addams- Louise W. Knight
Never Let Me Go- Kazuo Shiguro*
Cage Of Stars- Jacquelyn Mitchard
A Student of Living Things- Susan Richards Shreve
The Blind Side- Michael Lewis
Duplicate Keys- Jane Smiley
American Rose- Karen Abbott
Cain- Roy Hoopes**
The Killer of Little Shepherds- Douglas Starr
This Laugh Is On Me- Phil Silvers
And The Show Goes On- Sheldon Leonard
Unsolved- Richard Glyn Jones ed. (The only book I read all summer)
Dick Van Dyke- Dick Van Dyke
The Descent- Fritz Peters
Mary Tudor- Anna Whitclock
Funny Woman- Barbara W. Grossman
Hide And Go Seek- Andrew Garve
The Lennon Sisters- A. H. Parr (Marci, knowing my taste, gave it to me)
USA- John Dos Passos (reread; I read it in high school)
Ladies Man- Paul Henreid
Snips And Snails-Louise Baker (also read in high school)
From Sawdust To Stardust- Terry Lee Rioux
Iron House- John Hart
Sybil Exposed- Debbie Nathan
A Skating Life- Dorothy Hamill (also given to me by Marci)
That's Not All Folks- Mel Blanc
The Litigators- John Grisham
The Silver Seven- Rita Ritchie (another Marci gift)***
The Garner Files- James Garner****
Spencer Tracy- James Curtis (very long and very entertaining)
Star Trek A Choice of Catastrophes- Michael Schuster and Steve Mollmann*****
Wandering Stars- Jack Dann ed.
Lost In Shangri-La- Mitchell Zurkoff (tied for my favorite book of the year)
Robert Ryan- Franklin Jarlett (missing 20 pages, but I'm claiming it anyway)
A Quite Remarkable Father- Leslie Ruth Howard******
Dark Tide: The Great Molasses Flood of 1919- Stephen Puleo
Who Killed Mr. Crittenden- Kenneth Lamott
Hedy's Folly- Richard Rhodes
11/22/63- Stephen King (really really really long)
Cold Heaven- Brian Moore (reread)
Destiny of the Republic- Candice Millard (my other favorite book of the year)


* I don't read a lot of fiction, but this one was really stupid.
** It has the best line of the year. James Cain wrote of one of his books,"It must have been a saga, because it sagged all over the place."
*** And don't you wish Marci was your friend also!
**** James Garner doesn't mention it, but he was rumored to have had an affair with Lauren Bacall and you have no idea how long it took me to confirm that fact via Google.
***** Now this is what I call great fiction.
****** I bought this book in high school and have carried it around with me ever since. When I realized it was coming up on the 50 year test, I figured I'd better actually read it, since I'd hate to have moved it from place to place over so many decades without having bothered to.

New Year's Greetings From Scooter And Me

Wishing a happy, healthy and all around excellent 2012 to 0123, Abigail, Ale, Ali, Allie, Amanda,Amy, Andrea, Andre G, Anonymous, Anonymous AZ, Anonymous Santa Fe, Another Susan, April, Arik, Ash, Ashley, Asian Swag, Austin, Ava, Bailey S.,beachbum15, becci, Becky, Bee, Begins With M, Bethanie, bjr 711, Bonnie Jacobs, boros 1124,
Brandi, Brenda Shorten, Buchgestaltung,Carolyn Watson-Dubisch, Cassie, CBM, Cecilia, Celeste, Cheryl, Chris, Christine, Cori C., Damian, Dawn M. Debra, Diane, Didie, donna, Donna, Donna Cash, Elaine Marie Alphin, elise, Elizabeth, Emily, Emily B, Emily Rachelle, Erickold, ex BFF, Fear Death By Water, Friendly Neighbourhood Bookseller, Gabby, Gaelle, Gillian, Glen, Greenbird, grrlpup, Hailey, Hanna B., Hannah, Heather, hewitt.eu.comj, Hooked in Boston, Ing, Ita, Jamie, Jamie Cline, Jane, Janet, Jasmine Alicia, Jarvis, Jeff Vincent, Jenny, Jenny S. Morris, Jess, J. F. Kirk (Tari), JKA, J M Cooper, Joe, Jon, Johanna, Jordan G., Jordan Gehrung, Judith, Julie,Julie B, Juni Wolfspirit, Karen ShamaLamaMama, Karin, Karis Jacobstein, Kate Karyus Quinn, Kathy, kay, Kay, Kellee, Kelly, Kelsey Cheung, Kerry, Klishr, Krazy Kay, Kristin, L, Lee, leftwriter, Lexa, Lexi, Lia Sato, Librarina, Lilly, Linda Jacobs, Lisa, Lisa Mandina, Lisa-Marie Jordan, Liz Hamblyn, Lizz, lizzieTC, Luker, MacKenzie Marie, Madison Field, Marci, Maria, Maria T., Margaret,Meggi M., Melanie, mericate, Mindy, Mirandawrites, Misrule, Mo, Moon Lover, Morgaine, Mr. Cavin, Mr. Platyperson, Mrs. Corbett, Ms. Donna M., Ms. Yingling, mykake, natalie, Nate, nathan, never_say_forever, NewEditionFanClub.com, Nina, Nina Permata Sari, non sk83r b01, Nora Durbin, Nora Garcia, number plate makers, online ged, Paige Y., Parlantes Nocturnos, Paul, Phanie, pokemecreator, princessbubbah, Project Journal, qwertyuiop, rbcca, Reader 901, Rebecca, Regina from Texas, Renee Carter Hall, Robin L., Robin Talley, Robyn, rock4ever95, Rosa Alvarado, Sarah, Sarah TKD, Sara Reed, Sebekos, Sean, Shelby, Shirley Shimer, shm, Starr, Stephen Squires, Stephanie, Sue, Susan, susancolebank, Susannah, Susan Pennell, Susan S, Sydne, Tanya Collins, Tara, teenreaderexpress, Teresa Barrett, Terri B, Tez Miller, thatchinskykid, The "L" in ELF, tigerlily*, Tosha, Tyler, Unknown, Walter, Wanda Vaughn, W. Slezak, Wax Beach Artist, Xavier d'Almeida, Youryoungestbiggestfan!, Zach Roland, Zoe, and everyone else who's taken a moment or two out of their lives to read my blog.

Scooter says to tell you if any of your names are misspelled, it's not his fault. He's exhausted just from watching me do all this typing!

Happy Blinking Day!

It's a brand new holiday. It combines the better features of Boxing Day (an event whose name I know if not its purpose) with Linking Day (an event I just created, because there's no point doing a blog entry of links right before Christmas- not even I in my most glorious egotism think anyone would be interested just then).

So put on your boxing gloves. I'll do the linking.

For starters, I'm going to be one of the authors at the USA Science And Engineering Festival and Book Fair Sunday, April 29 in Washington DC. There are going to be tons of writers there, all of whom know considerably more about science and engineering than I do. Actually, I know nothing about engineering, and not much more about science.

Being invited to such an extraordinary event has given me pause to think about whether my Junior High School science teachers are spinning in their graves or not. When you're 13, all grownups look pretty much the same age (old). But if they were 20years older than me, they could well be enjoying themselves without any thought of grave spinning. Even 30 years older, they could still be alive and kicking. But no matter how old they are, they would never have anticipated my being invited to talk at a festival devoted to science. Trust me on that (without links to my junior high school report cards).

A couple of interviews I gave have slipped past unlinked to. Well, we can't have that. In this first one, I talk about blogging , a dangerous thing to admit to on this my very own blog. In the second one, I list the three books I'd take with me if the world comes to an end, none of which, as it happens, I wrote.

Finally, while I don't have a link for this, I know you'll all be happy to hear that on my brand new computer my FreeCell winning percentage is a glowing 100%, and I intend to keep it that way. Failure is impossible at least in one tiny aspect of my life!

In Germany, August Is Right Around The Corner

Only because the holidays are rapidly approaching, I'll spare you the long version of how my computer died so I bought a new one and the new one didn't work so I took it back to Staples which refused to believe it was the computer's fault, and made me bring in the new monitor I bought to go with the new computer, even though I told them repeatedly it was the computer not the monitor that was faulty, and then after I brought in the monitor, they attached a new monitor to the computer, and by golly, I was right and it was the computer, so they finally agreed and let me exchange the computer, but they thought I should get a new monitor to go with the new new computer so I got a new new (and slightly bigger) monitor, and ironically enough, the monitors cost the same, and but the computer was on sale this week, so I actually saved $40.

Trust me. That's not the long version.

Long or short, it's comforting to have a working computer. And two good things resulted from all this.

The first is I have a whole new new computer to play Freecell on, and since it doesn't remember the tragedy of my previous losses, I'm now at a 100% success rate, which will remain forever, since there's no reason to lose at Freecell, given I can erase any games I'm in process of losing.

In 2011 I wrote two books, neither of which will ever be published, so I'm particularly in need of a 100% success rate at something. I'm not fussy about what.

The second good thing has to do with my perfectly healthy morning ritual of checking my Amazon and Barnes and Noble numbers. So when I bought the new new computer, I had to find all those numbers to make favorites of them.

This was not difficult or time consuming. But because I'm internationally renown (at least in my fantasies), I also check the French and German versions of my books every morning. Therefore, I zipped over to Amazon France and Amazon Germany and put Pfeffer into their search boxes and located my books.

But while doing this, I discovered the German version of This World We Live In is available for pre-order.

I never would have found that out except for the new new computer, since the book isn't coming out until August and I wouldn't have thought to look for months. Silly me.

The German title for This World We Live In is Das Leben, das uns bleibt, which my beloved Google Translations informs me means The life that we are left, which is actually a good title.

I saw the cover when I was in Germany, and it's my favorite of the three German covers. And while it makes no sense for me to check the Amazon number for a book that isn't coming out for another seven and one half months, we all know I will anyway.

So join me. Here's the listing for Das Leben, das uns bleibt . What better way to start celebrating the holidays!

Three, It Turns Out, Is The Best Number For A Trilogy

My publisher and I have mutually decided not to pursue a fourth moon book. I won't be writing any new versions of The Shade Of The Moon.

This decision was decided so mutually that I don't even know who mutually decided it first.

I've been a writer for a long long time, and during that long long time I've figured out what I can do and what I can't. I can do rewrites. I may gripe and complain about the process, but I've worked with quite a number of excellent editors who've helped guide me as I've tried to make my book better.

What I can't do is write to please someone else. It's simply not a skill I have. Even when I've written books pretty much just for the money, they've been stories I've enjoyed figuring out, with characters I've wanted to get to know better. For better or worse (and it can go either way), I write for myself.

Emily Bronte wrote a poem that has a couple of lines I've always loved.

I'll walk where my own nature would be leading:
It vexes me to choose another guide.

I could devote the next few months of my life to trying to figure out an approach for a fourth moon book that would please my publisher, but frankly, I avoid being vexed. Therefore yesterday afternoon I dug through my file cabinet, found the unsigned contracts for the fourth moon book, and mailed them back to my agent. This wasn't a foot stomping whining tantrumy decision. It was simply an awareness that a fourth book wasn't going to work.

So if you want to know what happens to Miranda and Alex next, you'll have to decide for yourself. Maybe they'll be happier in your mind's eye. Maybe they'll be sadder. But either way,you'll take them where your nature would be leading. And that's just where they should go.

Crass And Commercial? Not Moi!

The New York Times had an article today about how bookstores are doing an excellent holiday business.

The article focuses on sales of adult books, and I don't write adult books (lacking, as I do, sufficient adult genes), but it still made me jealous of all those writers who get a holiday season boost.

I'm not totally oblivious to what it is I write, and I do understand that in my last four books, I've killed off all humanity in three and an entire family in the fourth. And while Christmas isn't my holiday, I have reason to believe books where all humanity and/or entire families get slaughtered may not automatically appeal to the holiday spirit shopper.

It's too late and I'm too lazy to rewrite all four books, so I've decided instead to give them holiday-appropriate titles. That way people won't notice all the suffering and horror.

Life As We Knew It With Santa

Sleighbells* Ring For The Dead And The Gone

This World We Live In At Holiday Time

Blood Wounds But Really Nice Gifts Heal!

I can hear those cash registers jingle with that happy holiday sound!

*Get the clever play on words? Sleighbells? Slaybells? Maybe it's too subtle for the harried holiday shopper.

Here's A Writing Contest You Might Be Interested In

I'm not giving you much notice, since the deadline is Dec. 12 (and I apologize for that), but if you're 13 or older, and you'd like to write an essay about a family gathering and you're willing to have me judge it,scurry to this link and find out all about it!