J.T. Ellison's Blog, page 14

Friday Reads 1.12.24

It’s Friday, and you know what that means. Let’s talk about what we’re reading!

The copyedits have been completed a full day ahead of schedule, and once I do one teensy little revision on the short story I finished at the end of the year, I find myself suddenly free, in body and spirit, to start writing HLN! Yesterday was a sunny, warmish day here in Nashville, so I sat in the driveway with my notebook and started pouring out scenes. I stopped at 40 — and that’s pretty much just the first act. For once in my life, I have done so much thinking ahead of time on the book that there are at least two acts worth of action already in my head. And I kind of know the ending. Huzzah! I’ll be plowing ahead on Step 4: Research this Sunday for those of you following 22 Steps, and then get into my 40 Scenes method in Step 5.

I find this to be a truth in my creative life: The more I read, the more I write. I’ve been reading a lot lately, and boy, does it feed the creative beast.

I started my slow read of Wolf Hall, and I think this book is going to have a deep impact on both my psyche and writing. I’m only a few chapters in, but Hilary Mantel is a genius, and the book shows it. Very cool.

I finished my buddy Jayne Ann Krentz’s THE NIGHT ISLAND just in time to have a wonderous chat with her and Barbara Peters from Poisoned Pen. From dragons to murderous mushrooms to psychic assassins to the ever-present gothic, we had a blast.

I’m reading the lovely Lauren Thoman’s second outing, YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE and enjoying it immensely. Y’all, the Nashville writing scene is hopping these days.

I also started a research book, GOOD MORNING, MONSTER, by therapst Catherine Gildener, which was recommended by fellow author Victoria Schwab in her newsletter. All it took was a quick glance at the book’s description to fill in a big plot point for the new book, so I grabbed it straight away. It’s as wonderfully heartbreaking as it is fascinating. (Ed note: as I’ve gotten deeper into the book, I wanted to give a heads up—the stories told are distressing, and may be triggering for some readers.)

Also digging into this profile of Joyce Carol Oates in the New Yorker. I don’t know how I missed it!

That’s it from me this week. How about you? What’s on your reading plate this weekend?

Friday Reads 1.12.23

It’s Friday, and you know what that means. Let’s talk about what we’re reading!

The copyedits have been completed a full day ahead of schedule, and once I do one teensy little revision on the short story I finished at the end of the year, I find myself suddenly free, in body and spirit, to start writing HLN! Yesterday was a sunny, warmish day here in Nashville, so I sat in the driveway with my notebook and started pouring out scenes. I stopped at 40 — and that’s pretty much just the first act. For once in my life, I have done so much thinking ahead of time on the book that there are at least two acts worth of action already in my head. And I kind of know the ending. Huzzah! I’ll be plowing ahead on Step 4: Research this Sunday for those of you following 22 Steps, and then get into my 40 Scenes method in Step 5.

I find this to be a truth in my creative life: The more I read, the more I write. I’ve been reading a lot lately, and boy, does it feed the creative beast.

I started my slow read of Wolf Hall, and I think this book is going to have a deep impact on both my psyche and writing. I’m only a few chapters in, but Hilary Mantel is a genius, and the book shows it. Very cool.

I finished my buddy Jayne Ann Krentz’s THE NIGHT ISLAND just in time to have a wonderous chat with her and Barbara Peters from Poisoned Pen. From dragons to murderous mushrooms to psychic assassins to the ever-present gothic, we had a blast.

I’m reading the lovely Lauren Thoman’s second outing, YOU SHOULDN’T BE HERE and enjoying it immensely. Y’all, the Nashville writing scene is hopping these days.

I also started a research book, GOOD MORNING, MONSTER, by therapst Catherine Gildener, which was recommended by fellow author Victoria Schwab in her newsletter. All it took was a quick glance at the book’s description to fill in a big plot point for the new book, so I grabbed it straight away. It’s as wonderfully heartbreaking as it is fascinating.

Also digging into this profile of Joyce Carol Oates in the New Yorker. I don’t know how I missed it!

That’s it from me this week. How about you? What’s on your reading plate this weekend?

Friday Reads 1.5.24

It’s the first Friday of 2024(!) and you know what that means. Let’s talk about what we’re reading!

I was trying and failing to find a quick and dirty solution to offload my Goodreads reading list, and the thought occurred to me… A photo would count, right? So here they are, minus DIVINE RIVALS, because it messed up the grid (LOL, hello, OCD). It looks like 72 books read for 2023; 78 if you include the books that I worked on/wrote. None so bad, but alas, short of my goal of 80.

It’s copyedits week for A VERY BAD THING. It’s a lot of fun to get back into this book, especially seeing it for the first time from an outside perspective. I am a bit in love with my CE, too. She’s smart, and she gets what I’m trying to do. Huzzah!

I am deep into a few “work” books this week, which I refer to the books I’m either interviewing the artist or blurbing. Such a terrible job I have, having to read.

Allison Brennan has a new PI series that you are going to love, the first being YOU’LL NEVER FIND ME. And Jayne Ann Krentz has a new book out Tuesday called THE NIGHT ISLAND, which is the second in her The Lost Night Files series. We’re going to be chatting on Tuesday night live at the Poisoned Pen, too!

I started my slow read of Wolf Hall, and I was admittedly surprised—it’s in present tense! I don’t know of many historical done this way, it engaged me immediately.

I also devoured the most delightful Bridgerton-adjacent Queen Charlotte this week. I must say, this show was, for me, perfect. The treatment of mental illness was incredibly touching, showing the sacrifices of true love. Even the back and forth time switches, which I normally find a bit hectic, worked. The acting, and the costuming, and the entire plot—everything was just great. And Brimsley made me smile, every time he came on the screen. Really great show. I recommend you watch with the audio closed captioning on. It adds an extra layer to the story, as if the screenplay is being read aloud whilst the show plays out.

In case you missed it, my 2023 Annual Review is up.

That’s it from me this week. How about you? What’s on your reading plate this weekend?

2023 Annual Review

It’s my favorite post of the year, reflecting on the successes and failures of my 2023 goal-setting and sharing lofty plans for the upcoming year. This annual review has become more than tradition, more than ritual. It is how I track the changes in my career, my life, and the world around us. I enjoy sharing it with you, but this is really for me, so forgive me in advance those of you who are new to this process. It’s a long post, with a ton of metrics. I’ve been doing this for 14 years now, and if you’d like to see the previous years posts, I have them all under the navigation header Annual Reviews. I originally modeled these after Chris Guillebeau’s Annual Review from his blog, The Art of Non-Conformity, but they’ve morphed into what I need and want to measure. Here’s to rational goal-setting!

Looking back on 2023, The Year of Ritual

With perpetual changes to my publishing schedule, changes in the industry, and changes to my personal ethos, I’ve lost many of my daily, monthly, and annual rituals over the past few years. This year, I intend to reclaim the valuable rituals that helped me build my career and kept me laser-focused over the past decade. This includes daily goals, project-specific deadlines, and a reinvigorated creative flow. I have plans, people. So many plans. I also have a new bellwether: will it matter in five years? If the answer is no, I ain’t doing it. There is great freedom in this question. You should ask yourself the same.

How Did I Do?

I’m going to give myself a solid B+ on this. Because of circumstances beyond my control, my quarterly plan for the year went out the window at the 4-month mark, and it was pretty much balls to the wall work and travel from that moment on. Which was fabulous, and a good distraction, and allowed me to get some new experiences and ideas under my belt. It also meant I had to make the most of the downtime I did have, and in that, the rituals I fell back on were an absolute necessity. I just executed them in places beyond my office instead. I swapped the planned quiet of Q3 and Q4 for a heavy travel schedule, and made Q2 and most of Q3 my dedicated writing period. It worked—as you’ll see, my total fiction word count is 25% higher than goal. A total win there. And I did reclaim my valuable creative energy by making several major changes to my business, which has given me a measure of freedom, and a reliable annual schedule again.

What Went Right

Let’s start with the vitals: I had nine releases in 2023—four novels, and five short stories across two pen names. (I should stop right here. That’s my own personal annual review mic drop. Nothing else matters. And yet...)

The other brilliant 2023 news was signing a new contract for two more standalone thrillers with a brand new publisher! The first book is done, and I’m busily plotting the second, which I’ll start writing in earnest by the end of January. I’ve been so impressed with Thomas & Mercer’s professionalism and efficiency, my editor Liz’s enthusiasm for my work, and the whole team’s author-centric business model. I can’t wait to nurture this relationship throughout the upcoming year and into the future. Moving houses after so long was a big, hard decision, but one made with great deliberation to align my creative needs with my professional ones. So far, a big yay!

A Word on Words Season 8 was nominated for an EMMY! The awards ceremony is in February, a glitzy black-tie affair here in Nashville. Can’t wait! It’s such an honor to be nominated again, and I’m looking forward to the great fun of getting dressed up for the ceremony and having a chance to celebrate the incredible work of our team. Hosting this show continues to bring me such joy, and to be able to work with such great friends and professionals always leaves me shaking my head at my luck.

This space—THE CREATIVE EDGE—has bloomed into a wonderful community, and Substack in general has become the focus of my social media energies. I love the depth that goes into this work. It’s helped me limit my time on other social media because I’d rather come here and think deep thoughts than scroll endless posts of people’s awesome balayage (my high-stress alleviating go-to. There is something very meditative about haircuts and coloring.)

IT’S ONE OF US was well-received into the world, staying on the Canadian bestseller lists for weeks, as well as gaining an incredible new readership. For an intensely personal story turned thriller, I couldn’t have been more pleased with its reception.

THE WOLVES COME AT NIGHT was also well-received, and I had such fun returning to Taylor Jackson’s world, not to mention finally building the long-anticipated bridge to take her into the future. I have plans for our girl (and for Sam, and Skye, and Angelie, and Robin. More on that later this year.)

The Joss Walker books are going strong. There are two more novels in the series, then I’ll probably take a break from the pen name for a bit. I have the seeds of an epic fantasy story germinating in a quiet space, but I also have four (five?) JT books and another novella I want to write, so I need to step back for a year or so to get those done. The series was always planned to be 6 books, and I have known the end since the beginning, so we’ll see what happens when I get there.

In September, Randy and I went to Amsterdam, London, and all over Ireland with our dear friends, and it was a perfect trip. Let me tell you, between the charm of our chosen city, standing in gale-force winds on the side of a massive cliff, and the Library at Trinity College in Dublin, my very DNA has been altered. Do not be surprised to see many Irish elements in upcoming tales.

I also went to Italy with my family in November, and getting the elder statesmen together (my dad and my uncle) and seeing my cousins again was really fantastic. We went out to Scottsdale a couple of times to see Barbara and Rob and our Poisoned Pen family, which was great fun. Also, New York twice, Austin, the usual pilgrimages to Colorado and Florida, plus the amazing IOOU tour that took me to Seattle, Greenville, Houston, Scottsdale again, Pawley’s Island, and beyond. Frequent flier miles are a good thing, but really, this was a bit much. 😜

Despite the number below, in Q4, I walked away from almost all social media, choosing instead to focus on my Instagram community, my Literati group on Facebook, and my Friday Reads on the main FB page, and of course, TCE. I’ve bailed on TwitterX, I get zero traction there, so I’ve taken it off my devices. Threads was fun for a minute, and Blue Sky, but turned into TwitterX redux so fast I walked. I know many people who’ve left Instagram too, but it still sparks joy for me, so I won’t be following suit right now. I do have time limits set so I’m not endlessly scrolling, and my algorithm is set to show me beautiful things that inspire me. I will never forget what happened after Jamie left us, and I finally could face the feed again. Every post was gentle, kind, and beautiful—landscapes and gardens and sunsets and meaningful quotes. It was a remarkable gift, and I’ve allowed it to continue.

What Went Wrong

I’m staying on a micro level here, naturally, as I share in the world’s despair of the happenings of 2023. Honestly, everything was overshadowed by Jameson’s passing. There is still a hole, a sense of being incomplete, that I doubt will ever go away. Coupled with my dad’s heart surgeries (he came through with flying colors 🙏, my mom’s bad fall (she, too, is fine now), Randy’s unbelievable workload, and my own physical issues, 2023 was a really rough year for us. We added 22 trips on top of it, which has completely worn me down. Going at warp speed for 12 months saddled with grief means I am genuinely tired, and I want to spend 2024 restoring myself.

I made some staffing changes, which is always disruptive, but by taking control of things myself, my stress levels plummeted. Am I always on time with my deliverables on social media? No. No, I am not. Is that a bad thing? No. No it is not. If anything, my focus away from the metrics and directing others to the meaningful connections I’ve managed the second half of the year has made everything better, not worse. I’ve gotten damn good at Canva, and there’s a cohesiveness to being both the writer and designer. Leading into the fall Joss release, I brought on a new admin for some backup, and to help format the newsletters, and she’s worked out perfectly. (Hi Paige!) And Holly is still making amazing Reels for Instagram. Her talent is evident, and I try to stay out of her way as much as possible.

I’m going to put my own health issues in this section, though I am much better than I was at this time last year, having mostly recovered, with medication and lifestyle changes, from my long COVID heart issues. Because of Rebecca Yarros and FOURTH WING, I recognized similar symptoms to our wonderful Violet and, as such, was diagnosed with a connective tissue disorder, hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos, hEDS. This is very new, and I’ll have more to say after I get a handle on it, starting with a physical therapy regime and other treatments. One never wants to be diagnosed with an incurable syndrome, but...as it gives answers to pretty much every strange physical and emotional ailment I’ve been plagued with my whole life, from celiac to infertility to my junky joints, it is a huge relief to learn about, especially because there are things I can do to help make things better. And knowing it before I tried a joint replacement is definitely going to change my path forward and save me from years of trouble. So yeah, it’s a bad that’s also a good.

We are blessed, in so many ways. I know this, and try not to linger too much on this section of the review. Nothing that’s happened can be changed or undone, especially the loss of our sweet girl, so I want to look forward instead.

All in all, it was an amazing year. Focusing on the concept of “will it matter in five years” has rewired my brain for the better. I read 75 books, wrote 260,000 words, traveled the world—twice—taped a slew of shows for AWOW, got a new deal, released a ton of work, started the non-fiction project I’ve dreamed of for years, have wonderful friends and family, and a happy, healthy marriage. I really can’t ask for more.

NITTY GRITTY: AKA NERDOLOGY

2023 Total Words: 585,520
Fiction Total: 262,200
Non-Fiction Total: 143,320*
Fiction Percentage: 55%
Books Read: 75
Creative Projects as J.T. Ellison: 9
Creative Projects as Joss Walker: 5

*(Excludes Email and Trello, which total ~180,000)

MAJOR PROJECTS WORKED ON:

JT Novels:

IT’S ONE OF US Released

THE WOLVES COME AT NIGHT (Taylor Jackson #9) Released

A VERY BAD THING (2024 Standalone) Wrote and Submitted

HLN (2025 Standalone) Writing Started

BS (2026 Standalone) Research Gathering

JT Short Stories:

These Cold Strangers Released

X House Released

Louche 49 Released

O Murder Night (Edge House) (written and submitted)

Joss Walker Novels:

THE KEEPER OF FLAMES (Jayne #3) revised and released

THE PROPHECY OF WIND (Jayne #4) rewrote and released

THE BOOK OF SPIRITS (Jayne #5) outlined and started

Joss Walker Short Stories:

Guardians of Fury (rewrote and released)

Guardians of Power (rewrote and released)

2024: The Year of Balance

I’ve waffled about my word of the year for weeks. I am going to have to pull back, turn inward, and handle my sh*t, as it were, so for a time, I was thinking of Self. But that felt too ego-driven, for some reason, so I moved to Cozy. My agent wondered aloud if I was changing careers (ha!) so I nixed that in favor of Nest. Then I moved to Restore. Then Focus. Then Finish. Then back to Restore. (Are you sensing a theme? Me, too.) 2024 is the year that I have to say “thank you, no” to pretty much everything that isn’t already on my calendar, outside of AWOW and my new book release. I spent this entire review working with the word Restore, which is right, but not quite. And as I wrote the summary of my goals below* I found the word I’ve been trying to find for weeks now: Balance.

My operating system has been hacked and it’s time to restore to the base version, deleting all the bugs. I have been off-kilter for a few years, and 2024 is the year I bring myself back into balance. Respecting my time, admitting when I’ve done too much and need to rest, saying no to everything that doesn’t spark immediate excitement and joy, and focusing on my creative health as well as physical health will hopefully allow me to slow down a bit. Minimizing distractions and blocking out my time more effectively should allow me to meet my fiction and nonfiction goals, and relearning how to work out without hurting myself will allow my physical being to grow stronger. I want to write more, read more, and get smarter, improving my creative health. Allowing the balance of my time to be focused on my needs will give me the depth I’ve been searching for.

Balance has a number of sub-facets I plan to work on:

Physical

Mental

Emotional

Creative

Home

I won’t bore you with the subgoals here because they aren’t a checklist but a life management system, and I don’t have all of the tools to make the decisions just yet. But some of the ways I plan to achieve this full system reboot is to eliminate distractions, turn inward, focus on making my physical self better through physical therapy, yoga, exercise, and diet, and allow myself the room to build true creative expression. I want to read darker, and read more, so I will be putting a reading block into my daily work schedule. I want to let go of some of the fears that have been holding me back creatively, which will help lower my anxiety, and give me that truly necessary but sometimes elusive thing: Balance. (Oh no. I think that I may have hit upon  another word for the year.*) I’m so excited to see how this shakes out because I have to make it work, much more so than any previous year’s theme. The actions of 2024 will set my future, so it’s time to buckle down and rock it.

2024 Creative Goals

200,000 fiction words

Finish 2024 standalone HLN

Continue the 22 Steps writing series following the development and writing of HLN

Expand the Edge House universe into a full-blown novella

BS (2025) Research and Outline

Taylor and Skye #1

Sam #5

Finish and publish Jayne #5 & #6

Participate in Simon Haisell’s Slow Read of Hilary Mantel’s books

Read 80 Books

Tape 8 episodes of AWOW

Less scroll, more read

JT New Releases:

A VERY BAD THING (September 3, 2024)

O Murder Night (Edge House) short story (October 2024)

IT’S ONE OF US paperback (March 19, 2024)

Joss New Releases:

THE PROPHECY OF WIND audio (February 13, 2024)

THE BOOK OF SPIRITS (Jayne #5) (Spring 2024)

THE SCROLLS OF TIME (Jayne #6) (Winter 2024)

Travel/Events:

Bouchercon (Guest of Honor) (September)

Thrillerfest (July)

Readers Take Denver (April)

That’s more than enough, don’t you think? It’s going to be a lovely, quiet, cozy year, with much more time spent reading and writing, going deep into this life. I am ready!

DEETS:

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The Creative Edge Community Post: Let’s Get To Know One Another

Happy New Year! I hope your holidays were fantastic and you are geared up for a great 2024.

Photo by Nick Dunlap on Unsplash

I wanted to get 2024 off to a really lovely start for us all, and when I saw this fabulous introductory post idea on The Hyphen by , I decided to borrow the idea.

It’s rather simple. Between our Friday book discussions and the writing/craft posts, our community at The Creative Edge has grown leaps and bounds over the past year. You know a lot about me—my hopes, my dreams, my struggles—and I would love to know more about you!

What brought you here? Are you a writer, a reader? Both? Neither? What are some of your favorite books, or newsletters, or authors? Are you getting your money’s worth—figuratively and literally—from the Edge? Where are you in your life? Where are you in general? If you could do one thing from your bucket list, what would it be? Do you have a word/theme for 2024, or a resolution you’d like to share?

You get the idea. Anything goes. Pick as much or as little to share as you’d like. You can just wave if that’s more your speed.

I’ll leave this post pinned so new folks who wander into the party can chime in, too.

This should be so much fun! Happy New Year to you all! 🎉

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Friday Reads 12.29.23

It’s Friday, the last one of 2023(!) and you know what that means. Let’s talk about what we’re reading!

I hope your holidays were wonderful, and this quiet week has found you replete with good cookies, warm fires, and delightful books to read. We were traveling (shocker, I know) so didn’t get a lot of down time, but we’re home now so I’m working on that this week, while doing my year-end roundup and some long overdo digital housekeeping.

My friend popped on the Edge last week with her recommendations and a link to her end of year books, and I was immediately pumped to share the whole list of every book I read this year (approximately 65) here. My enthusiasm dimmed in the light of the extra work building a list after the fact, and I’ve committed to trying this for next year, instead. A general book wrap up post seems smart, and since I’ve been trying to move away from Goodreads for book tracking, this seems like a wonderful place to start keeping lists. You know how much I love lists. I’m going to keep a draft post open this year and record them. Future JT thanks me for this.

I will leave you instead with a very enjoyable recommended read this week, the utterly delightful and inventive DIVINE RIVALS, with which I am entranced. How rare it is to find a story so unique, and so full of love, and danger, and courage. It feels like a World War II novel, but it’s fantasy, and I’ve not seen this combination play out before. I see what the fuss is all about, and I am here for it.

And because I can’t leave you without some sort of end of year list, these are the rest of my standouts for the year, the books I haven’t stopped thinking about, talking about, recommending, and/or rereading (ahem dragons and war colleges FTW)

FOURTH WING - Rebecca Yarrow

NONE OF THIS IS TRUE - Lisa Jewell

ONE WOMAN SHOW - Christine Coulson

THE OTHER VALLEY - Scott Alexander Howard

THE FROZEN RIVER - Ariel Lawhon

THE FIVE SORROWFUL MYSTERIES OF ANDY AFRICA - Stephen Buoro

A FLICKER IN THE DARK - Stacy Willingham

YELLOWFACE - R.F. Kuang

AN EMBER IN THE ASHES - Sabaa Tahir

Some housekeeping notes: You will notice that The Creative Edge is now happily organized by topic! Finding a few thematic, overarching categories has always been a goal, and for the time being, Annual Reviews has made an appearance. My other website has become untenable for searching, and in putting together my 2023 Annual Review, I needed several previous pieces. I figure I’ll leave them up for January, then that category will disappear from navigation, easily found in searches. The 2023 Annual Review will be up next week, I think.

The rest encompass some of my favorite pieces that I’ve brought over, as well as the Creative Perfection series I did a few years ago, and of course, our ongoing 22 Steps Writing Series, which will pick up again with Step Four: Research, in the new year. All of these posts were here already, but not categorized or easily searchable. I hope this helps!

And for a tiny bit of BSP: the audiobook of THE WOLVES COME AT NIGHT released this week. Read by the indomitable Saskia Maarleveld, I can’t tell you how happy I am hearing Taylor come to life again. Enough to want more…

That’s it from me this week. How about you? What’s on your reading plate this weekend?

Friday Reads 12.22.23

It’s Friday, and you know what that means. Let’s talk about what we’re reading!

I’m on vacation this week, and had high hopes for many books read, but ended up doing some writing instead. It’s hard to find quiet time when you’re with family for the holidays. Next week.

I did start Carissa Broadbent’s THE SERPENT AND THE WINGS OF THE NIGHT, and AMERICAN PROMETHEUS, the True Story of Robert J. Oppenheimer.

I’m also deep into a buddy rewatch of Harry Potter movies, a Christmas tradition. I’ve seen them enough times that this go around, I’ve turned on the audio subtitles, as I did with the first season of The Crown, and am sinking into the narrative and analyzing story and character arcs.

When I say I’m writing, I’ve been doing a revision of a short story I turned in last week, a historical Christmas story set in Ireland, with a twist on The Tell Tale Heart. As my short stories are wont to do, it turned quite supernatural, and now I’m deciding between pulling back on that or writing something new. Either way, this particular story is going to be bigger than what my editors need, so I might just end up with two. Or a novella. We’ll see…

And a fun, fun evening last night, as I was able to get together with my very first editor, Linda McFall. She is the one who bought the first three Taylor Jackson novels in 2006. We had a lovely catchup, and talked about the industry and the changes we’ve seen. Makes me itchy to get another Taylor story into play…

That’s it from me this week. How about you? What’s on your reading plate this weekend?

Wishing all who celebrate a safe and beautiful holiday ahead. Merry Christmas!!!

Interim Step One: Let's Talk About Self-Judgment

(This is a free post in my 22 Steps Craft Series because it’s the holidays, and I adore y’all for being here. I hope it helps you reassess your interior voice when you’re writing—and out in the real world, too.)

I just caught myself doing something terrible, and I wanted to share it with you, because it is the absolute death knell of creativity. It’s a nasty word that I despise. Judgment. Just look at it. It’s not pretty; it’s awkwardly spelled, with a combination of letters that aren’t common. (Look at me being judgy.) It’s ugly, and something I try hard to avoid if at all possible. From Mirram Webster:

judgment (noun)

1 a: the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing.
b: an opinion or estimate so formed.

2 a: the capacity for judging: discernment.
b: the exercise of this capacity.

3 a: a formal utterance of an authoritative opinion.

Photo by Jess Zoerb on Unsplash

Listen, I am perfectly content judging you on your choices in life. Creamy peanut butter is just wrong. Knives must go down in the dishwasher, but forks and spoons tine and bowl up. And what possesses you to have the toilet paper come from the bottom, not the top, like civilized creatures? (Kidding. I have cats. I get it.)

But when it comes time for creative pursuits, no. No judgment from me, and none, NONE, is acceptable from your inner voice.

I spend a lot of time telling my writer friends not to judge themselves and their creativity. This comes from a place of tough love and complete understanding, because it’s natural, nay, inevitable, that you will, at some point in the process, judge your own work. It’s how we become better writers; it’s how we level up our craft. It’s how we let that self-judgment get into our heads that makes all the difference.

I started writing HER LAST NIGHT Monday afternoon. I’m a bit out of sequence with my steps, as I’m still in the research stage and haven’t even done my 40 Scenes yet, but the book is cooking in my brain, with dialogue forming and scenes beginning to gel, and when I found myself with a spare hour Monday afternoon, and instead of knocking off early to read, I decided what the heck, let’s lay down some words.

Reader, they were not good.

I have a certain standard for my openings. I generally have some sort of Prologue that sets the stage for the story. (See LIE TO ME, or IT’S ONE OF US, for examples of openings that I am particularly happy with.) Then the first chapter really draws you in, and, if I’ve done my job, you won’t be able to put down the book when the chapter ends.

But that doesn’t happen on Day One, no matter how much I like to think it does. I want to believe that when I put fingers to keyboard for the first time on a story, something magical will occur. The perfect open will pour out of me, and I will never look back.

All of this despite the fact that 90 percent of the time, I open in the wrong place. This is empirical truth. It happens every book. It took me years to figure this out, and that was when I stopped trying to write linearly and allowed myself to skip about, putting down scenes I knew would happen, and then reorganizing the beginning when I felt it was ready to be told. Starting in the wrong spot is fine. There’s no pressure when I start now, because I know that whatever I’ve written is probably not the first thing the reader will look at. What I wrote Monday probably won’t be the opening at all.

But in the midst of it, that wasn’t my thought process.

I’d pulled in a part of a previously written sequence that was cut from A VERY BAD THING (a murdered darling), which became the beginning of the Prologue, then wrote the first chapter. It didn’t sing the Hallelujah chorus, and I had a spike of anger toward it, and myself, for failing.

This isn’t good enough. It’s not intense. It doesn’t set the stage. What is it about this that tells the reader what kind of story they’re getting? It’s highly emotional, yes, but there is no dead body, to start, so how do we know we are reading a thriller? This could very easily be the opening of a woman’s fiction novel.

On and on. Until I pulled up short and said: Hey, you’re being awfully judgmental about something that’s lived in the world for less than an hour.

And then I ran over here to tell you guys not to be mean to yourselves. because I promised to live blog this book as major things happen, and this felt…important.

Beginnings are hard. I struggle with them, just like everyone else. But knowing I start in the wrong place helps me recognize that no matter how I feel about it, I started.

There is so much doubt, so much concern, so much pressure when you begin a book. I’m here to remind you to breathe through it, be a little easier on yourself, and remember that just because you wrote the beginning, that doesn’t mean you’re done writing the beginning.

Reminding myself of this, I stepped away. I tucked my disappointment with my inability to start strong back into its little box, logged my numbers (1220 words, huzzah!) and went upstairs to the gym, where I called my folks while I rode the bike. And while I was telling this story to my dad, it hit me. A way to make this opening a hell of a lot scarier and intense.

Judgment turned to glee. And then a knife appeared. 😈

As I’ve worked on this chapter this week, several things have happened. What I thought was the start has become part of a story inside the story. The knife has become an echo device for a previous crime. And my character, who was so flat when she appeared Monday, now has an entire interior life I wasn’t expecting. I’ve written her backstory in my notes, but until she spoke aloud to me, I didn’t know her at all. She just got complicated, in a deliciously devious way. The whole sequence is ten times stronger, and will continue to grow as its fleshed out.

I hope this is a small inspiration to you. We’re all hard on ourselves, but acknowledging that the voice that tells you it’s not right is different than the one who says YOU aren’t good enough will make your creative life a whole lot easier.

A housekeeping note: The 22 Steps series will continue after the holidays, as I’m taking a week off for Christmas, and then I must turn to my year-end activities for my Annual Review. Friday Reads will appear as normal, as will the newsletter. Merry Everything to you all!

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Friday Reads 12.15.23

Happy Friday, friends. Let’s talk about what we’re reading!

I’ve been bouncing back and forth a bit between books this week. The holidays are drawing ever closer, and I did manage to get my cards out, but I still have to send my out-of-town presents, including our annual “signature” gift. I hadn’t heard it called that before, but I saw it on a post from the divine and realized what a perfect name it is. We have been sending the same thing to the same people annually for many, many years. It’s a meaningful gift, not horribly pricey. Perfect for extended family and friends whom we don’t get to share the holidays with. Still, miles to go before I sleep, but once this is wrapped, all the pressure for the holidays is almost off. We’re throwing our annual cocktail party Sunday night, with this lovely concoction as the main event. It’s always a hit. As is my favorite mocktail recipe. It is a happy fizzy alternative.

I started listening to THE UNMAKING OF JUNE FARROW while signing books for an event in January, and I have high hopes for it. Adrienne Young is an epically talented author. Her last book, SPELLS FOR FORGETTING, was one of my top five faves last year. It will be hard to live up to, but if anyone can do it, Adrienne can.

I also started reading INHERITANCE by Nora Roberts after I saw her commenting on and defending the cliffhanger. Remarkable, really, that anyone questions the Queen’s storytelling devices, but now I must see for myself.

It was a week of chaos in the writing world, described well here by . In the thriller world, we have tools for coping with the pressures of being a debut in the thriller world through the fabulous International Thriller Writers Debut Author Program. I don’t know any other program like it that would benefit Fantasy debuts, or YA. Do you?

Also, somewhat unexpectedly, I started writing #HLN. That wasn’t on my bingo card for this week, but I think all the writing about the book and the prep work I’ve been doing somehow triggered an opening to play with. It did not go smoothly, as you can read about Sunday. But it is a beginning, and it’s growing.

That’s it from me this week. How about you? What’s on your reading plate this weekend?

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Step Three: File Organization

A quick note to say welcome to the lot of you who’ve joined up over the past two weeks. I am grateful you’re here, and looking forward to our interactions! Grab yourself some gluten-free ginger snaps and a cup of tea, and let’s get started.

What is it they say, cleanliness is next to godliness? I’m not sure I buy into that, but I will say that good file organization is the key to creative sanity.

Now, let me admit upfront that I have a hefty case of OCD, so my file organization is specific to how my own brain processes information. It may or may not make perfect sense to you, and may or may not work for you. The adage of my life, there are many ways up the mountain, truly fits here.

I find it helpful, though, to have a process when I’m starting a new project. Why? Because it helps me get past the dreaded blank page that comes with beginning a new book. Our creative spirits are delicate things, and if we ease them into a project rather than just opening a Word file and trying to write that perfect opening line, everything goes smoother.

(Just FYI, I’m working on a Mac, so some of the language may be Mac-specific.)

I use Dropbox exclusively because I once lost a 16-page synopsis (for Judas Kiss) and I never, ever want to experience that emotion again. Redundancies are your friend, friend. I’ll get into that more later.

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