Cutter Slagle's Blog, page 6

Rock Out with AC/DC, Stephen King, The Next Victim, and Axl Rose

Are you a rock ‘n’ roll fan? Are you a Stephen King fan? Are you a Cutter Slagle fan?

Okay, before I throw another question at you, I’ll give you a quick minute to chug some Starbucks and check the morning news (i.e. Facebook). And . . . go!

Hi, kids! It’s Tuesday (Monday’s ugly and overweight mistress), the holiday weekend has more than come and gone, and now we don’t have anything to look forward to until the Fourth of July. Or do we?

If you’re a Stephen King fan (why wouldn’t you be?), then you’ve most likely been looking forward to this day: The author’s latest novel is finally available! Sure, a new book from King can bring a smile to just about anyone’s face, but his latest release, End of Watch, is extra special. Why? Because it’s the final installment in his Bill Hodges’ trilogy.

Now, if you haven’t read this series (Mr. Mercedes and Finders Keepers), that’s fine. It’s your lucky day, because I have an alternative option for you: The Next Victim is not only available in all formats to purchase, but it’s also a stand-alone suspense book, meaning you can enjoy it without having read any of my previous works. Not only is this murder mystery book a page-turner, but critics (my parents and closest friends) have described it as being “the best book of the year.”

And what’s the best way to read a book (either Stephen’s or my own)? While rocking out to some AC/DC or Axl Rose, of course! Crank up the tunes and get comfortable with a good piece of fiction.

And while we’re on the subject . . . Sorry, Axl, but Google isn’t going to remove your “fat pictures.” Take it from me (and Amber Heard), once something hits the Internet — good, bad, or ugly — it’s there to stay!

The Perfect Pair: Budweiser and The Next Victim

Does summer put a smile on your face? If you’re like me, then there’s nothing you enjoy more than the blistering sun, a sandy shore, and the sound of crashing waves. Okay, maybe cake ranks a smidge higher on my “must have” list, but a day at the beach is a close second.

Hey, speaking of beaches, when you’re out and about this summer, the number one accessory to take with you is my debut suspense book, The Next Victim. Do you see what I did there?

Some may argue that drinking an ice cold beer is the best way to spend a hot day. I won’t argue. A Budweiser bottle can be quite refreshing in eighty-degree weather. But do you know what would really heighten the taste of that brew? Don’t make me say it; you already know the answer . . . or you should!

Since most beaches prohibited alcohol, consider putting something else in your beach bag this summer: a good murder mystery book. Or, more specifically, my murder mystery book. After all, you’ll need something to keep you distracted from the noise of other people’s brats kids.

I’d love to tell you that Selena Gomez, Katy Perry, and Orlando Bloom will all be reading The Next Victim this summer, but my lawyer has advised me to stop spreading rumors, especially rumors that could potentially get me sued.

Besides, no one really cares who or what the aforementioned celebs are doing this summer. I’m sure I’d become a bestselling author if I could get Gwyneth Paltrow to endorse my work on her Goop site. But hell, how can I honestly expect Gwynie to call me back when Walmart won’t even give me the time of day?

It’s a rough, dog-eat-dog world, people. My advice is to spend as much relaxing time at the beach as you possibly can. And read. Read a Cutter Slagle book.

Why Brie Larson and Justin Bieber won’t Read The Next Victim

There’s a reason as to why celebrities such as Brie Larson, Justin Bieber, Bruce Springsteen, and Jimmy Fallon haven’t read my debut novel, The Next Victim; this reason is rather interesting. Okay, it’s only mildly interesting. Fine, you got me! It’s not interesting at all!

They haven’t read my book, because they don’t know it exists. And perhaps one of the aforementioned celebs hasn’t read my book, because he/she doesn’t know how to read. I mean, have you ever seen J-Man with a book in his hands? I didn’t think so.

Come to think of it, how do celebrities (the ones who do know how to read) choose a book? I’m about one hundred percent sure that if the likes of Michael Phelps or Chris Hemsworth were photographed with TNV, it would become a New York Times bestseller almost instantly (here’s hoping). Of course, Phelps would have to put the doobie down to hold onto the book properly, and Hemsworth would have to put his shirt on. I’m realistic: No one is going to pay attention to anything else in the vicinity if those abs are out and about.

Hell, even Simon Cowell could tell me how “dreadful” my work is, just as long as he’s seen skimming through the pages of it. Because that seems to be one of the sure-fire ways to get ahead in the business world: have a celebrity endorse your product. But unfortunately, I don’t know any famous people, other than myself, of course. After all, I did star in that one local commercial and yet-to-be-released (thanks be to Jesus) independent horror film.

So, until I meet an A-lister, or even a D-lister (yes, that’s you, Kim Kardashian Trashian-West) willing to promote my writing and me, I guess I’m stuck doing it myself . . . Yes, that’s your cue to go out and buy my book today!